Category Archives: Self-help

“My life began when I met Ronnie” Nancy Reagan…

Nancy Reagan 3The death of our beloved Nancy Reagan brings us back to the love story between her and our beloved President Ronald Reagan as they clearly displayed the love, respect, balance, and support, the blessed gift from God possible on earth between a man and woman.

Nancy and Ronald Reagan

Her comment that her life didn’t really begin until she met Ronald Reagan… is not understood by some… as in the woman libbers who think they don’t need a man or that they are weak to think that they might, the feminists that have no clue concerning the balance achieved through the love between a man and a woman. There is great strength and wisdom in Mrs. Reagan’s statement regarding her profound love and soul connection that  she knew she had when she met the love of her life. It’s doesn’t negate that she was a woman of talent and accomplishments in her own right as ‘feminists’ seem to think. What it means is that their union enhanced both of them on many levels and by their union, both destinies were recognized and achieved bigger, more and better than had they been apart.

When any of us are given this rare and blessed  gift from God to meet and join with a soul mate, our life does begin anew and again with a future opening up changing our lives forever, giving us the opportunity to become and grow  more than ever could have imagined possible. Ronald_Reagan_and_Nancy_Reagan_aboard_a_boat_in_California_1964

It is exciting and more meaningful to grow through life with a partner, a true soul mate, who witnesses and offers support in life, assisting, therefore, each to become more than ever thought they could be alone.

And it takes a real woman or man to submit to this kind of deep profound love, which requires being seen clearly by another, exposing vulnerabilities and wounds, and in that closeness is the ability to experience genuine love, the kind of love that is the closet thing to God’s love for us on earth. It is not an undertaking for the feint or weak of heart… it’s only for the brave and sincere of heart and spirit.

Though love is the closest that we can be to God on earth.

” Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Pure, committed, God based love was clearly displayed by Nancy and Ronald Reagan.

“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him – or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim Keller

Nancy Reagan 2

God bless and keep you dear Nancy… as you reunite with your beloved Ronnie.

Nancy and Ronald Reagan 1

Fraudulent bizarre advertising…must STOP!

Oct10Stop9I called Weight Watchers and told them to get Oprah’s lying ugly fat head off their ads, that I change the channel every time she comes on. I don’t watch OWN and never will and don’t appreciate seeing Oprah’s face and hearing her voice continually in ads while I am watching a movie.  I don’t watch OWN so I don’t have to see or hear Oprah.

Oprah has been on diet after diet for decades and is still fat. She’s had private trainers, personal chefs and is still fat.

She pulled a Oprah thin1wagon out on a stage with the amount of fat she lost when she shrunk down to thin after one diet but then she ballooned  back to fat. Oprah fat3

Oprah is the worst spokesperson for a diet that anyone could have.  But I heard she bought 10 percent of Weight Watchers, so now, we have to endure more of her telling everyone what they should do diet BS. Add to that she went on a program in England and stated. “All old white people need to die.”
oprah
After Oprah said that, kids were playing the knock out game to harm and kill whites and others. Oprah should be arrested for inciting murder.  She should never be a spokesperson for any product much less a diet.  It is offensive to me that Weight Watchers uses an over-weight racist, who wants older white people to die, in their ads. So which is it Oprah, die or lose weight and make this the best year ever? What a lying duplicitous, self -serving con artist Oprah is.

Is Oprah spewing through the platform of Weight Watchers that only young non-whites should be on their plan?

If Oprah does lose some weight using Weight Watchers, she will put it all back on as she has done for decades. Oprah fat I don’t believe in dieting or any of these diet program. It’s portion control, exercise and it’s a lifestyle not a diet.  Appears to me Oprah has no self-control Oprah fat1even after all her shows about loving self, ‘living your best life’ and ‘that you are responsible for your life’. HA! When Oprah can’t even control her ‘own’ weight. Oprah fat 5She needs to practice what she’s preached/preaches for decades. Can you say FRAUD, USER and CON! She gets wealthy off America while attending a ‘hate America church’. 

A Weight Watcher dweeb on the phone told me I should be more professional. HUH?  Me, really? When they have a fat racist as spokesperson. It’s Weight Watchers that should be more professional. Peachrehab9Seeing Oprah in ads offends me since I am an older white person and she is calling for me to die. And I am physically fit, never been fat and never dieted.  This is Weight Watchers number if anyone else wants to call and complain, 800.651.6000,   What a bunch of conning freaks. Might I suggest everyone call and complain about Oprah and her fat A$$ being used in ads for dieting. I am so sick of seeing Oprah’s face and hearing her con and lies.

 Weight Watchers has a fat, racist as spokesperson.

I guess Planet Fitness that ‘non-judgmental’ place to workout, should use Obama as spokeObama workingoutsperson since he is such an example of fitness and the way to workout .. .see video below.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2014/jun/05/barack-obama-presidential-workout-warsaw-video 

The needy self-absorbed man…

self-absorbedI have a male/acquaintance/friend who is in his 50’s and very ill. He has spent his life as a playboy being obsessed with how a woman looks and sex. He’s never married, laughed at it and put it down. He is  now alone and lonely. Parents are gone and friends off with their lives. He’s pathetic. I feel sorry for him, always have. He called me last night whining that he has no one to talk to. He is alone and can barely take care of his own needs. He needs assistance to shower, etc. 
He has only cared about himself and his needs and wants. He doesn’t even listen when you talk with him. I have talked about God.. but he laughs at me. He doesn’t think there is a God.
Men need women for much more than sex and how she looks. A man who objectifies  women usually turns out like this one … alone. I have seen it happen many times. When they get old or sick, can’t rockin’ roll and their resources dwindle… they are left alone with nothing. The women that he chose for her looks, only wanted him for what he gave her as in excitement or gifts while he only wanted her for her body and how it temporarily made him feel.
Men if you are fortunate enough to have a woman love you, you might want to cherish her for all her gifts. It’s been proven that a man needs a woman more than she needs a man.
Women alone live longer than men alone. Why is this? A woman assists a man in processing his emotions. She cares for and nurtures his needs. When he provides, commits and protects this creates a great balance. But when he doesn’t… it falls apart… the balance never occurs.
When a man is so needy that he is driven to suck off many women with no commitment, he is really cutting himself off from what he really needs, but this kind of man is too insecure, can’t allow vulnerability or be real within himself, so he distances emotions and feelings for the temporary charge and escape of sex and being in control and in the end he loses big time!  
Women can do this for themselves. They process their emotions more easily, so why would any sane woman want to take on the neediness of a man without his full commitment to her and respect of her whole self? Women who share their bodies with a man without the wholeness of commitment are fools. They are fools looking to temporarily escape who they are in reality and wholeness and it is a big fail in the end for both. 
The real deal with the ‘never married man’, forty and up, is they can’t commit, are afraid of failure and real intimacy. So, they objectify women and diminish marriage and commitment to make themselves feel better about their inability to commit, to choose, and to make long term relationship decisions.

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

Oscar Wilde

Insurance companies as bad as government…

I went from happy with no injuries to  this becAftersurgery12ause I entered a particular restaurant where they were mopping before closing in a dark environment with no wet floor signs. I was wearing  low rubber-soled shoes and even then,  the floor was so wet that my feet slipped out from under me and I landed on my left side slamming my elbow and left hip into the concrete floor.

All I asked is that they take care of my medical and a bit of pain and suffering. I was told by the restaurant manager, the next day, that they would take care of everything and that I am a valued client.

The insurance company interviewed me while I was on pain pills and before I had the surgery to fix my broken elbow.

The restaurant manager (wasn’t there when I fell) and other employees when interviewed by the insurance company all told different stories and all lied. They were sloppy in their recollections and clearly focused on self protecting.

They began cleaning up the restaurant 45 minutes before closing. While the busboy (an illegal alien that we needed an interpreter for)  stated in his deposition that he never started cleaning until everyone was gone and the lights were turned up.

Their insurance company denied my claim.

So I was forced to get an attorney and go through the tedious, full of delays, insulting,  and irritating legal process.

During the depos, under oath, the server did tell most of the truth. They had padded the bill to make it appear that we had more to drink then we did. We were in there 20 minutes, I had one sip of champagne and they had charged us for four splits of champagne as they comped the bill, because I had fallen, so on that night we did not see what we had been charged. They were planning their set up of me and cover up of themselves before I even left for the emergency room.

During my deposition, I was accused of being a racist which had nothing to do with my falling.  An illegal alien did the mopping that caused my fall. A black bartender, covering for the manager who had left earlier that evening, talked to me while I was trying to figure out how badly I was hurt.  What did race have to do with any of this? It didn’t. Except that we were white and they were trying to vilify us. So, in actuality, they were being abusive and racist against me.

We discovered the black bartender was fired a few months after my fall and had been charged with felony assault on his girlfriend. When we tried to depose him, he would not return our calls. And we were told that while the illegal alien came to the deposition, he would not be in court to testify because he was illegal and afraid of being deported.

It was clear this group was in a hurry to leave that night, the manager had left earlier that evening, and didn’t care who was harmed or what repercussions might occur.

After all this, they settled. I got all my medical paid and more pain and suffering than I was originally going to ask for. This ordeal took almost two years and in so doing, cost the insurance company more money and caused me more stress. Lawyers made money off this stupidity and waste. Their insurance adjuster attorney was like a government bureaucrat, short, pale and severe. We had to cancel one depo because the little man had three kidney stones. And that shows exactly what and who he was, a pissed little man with no real power, but to hurt people as he attempted to keep from paying claims. It was all deflecting, blaming and lying… just like our current administration.

If restaurants are open and they start cleaning, they need to be boycotted  because if you fall and are injured, they will claim no responsibility and that there were wet floor signs when there were none. They will claim you are clumsy, drunk, or a racist, Ha!  Even if there is a ‘wet floor’ sign and someone falls, they should still be held responsible. People don’t enter restaurants to watch staff clean or to be injured.  Restaurants should never clean before closing.

Crufall2I fell right behind where this man is standing on the way to the Ladies’ Room, the only way. The place is dark, the floors are scratched concrete and ill kept. I have never fallen in my life, never had a broken bone, am a former ballet dancer and fit as anyone could be. It was like walking on black ice, yet they tried to blame me.

Also, we discovered that this place is known to traffic in drugs. When you are in a place to relax, meet with friends, have fun and enjoy, you rarely think what goes on in the place behind the scenes. And why should you? You are there to be with who you are with not fraternize with the help, but there can be hidden harmful dangers in some places, even those that appear respectable and in good locations as this place was when you are paying to be served and to be in a safe environment.

I have always been a careful person but this incident has taught me to be even more cautious. Because of the way I was treated, I will never enter this place again nor will my friends and it was once considered an acceptable place to go on occasion. Had I been treated well, they paid my claim right off, and treated me with respect, it would have saved money, time and created an amiable outcome. The way it was handled, was a waste of money, time, resources with insults, alienation and unprofessional interaction, except by the ‘crook style’ of doing business.

Oh some establishments smile and ‘act’ like they appreciate  you when you are a paying customer, but when you are harmed because of their negligence, and they need to show responsibility, they will blame, deflect and lie to get out of it. Just like Obama and our current administration.

Unless you are my granny, don’t call me sweetie, darlin’, or honey, etc…

???????????????????????????????Endearments are only appropiate when intimacy, familiarity, time and experience have developed, otherwise they are insulting, condesending and rude! When people who have never even met me in person, or barely know me  call me “Sweetie”, “Honey”, “Sugar”, “Darlin”, or variations of my name as in, “Annie”, it makes me want to explode! It’s so condescending, rude, presumptuous, over-familiar and crosses personal and respectable boundaries. 

A man who does this to a woman is trying to take control as in you are less than me, I am in control, you “little sweetie”, so do as I wish, like me, love me, have sex with me, go to dinner with me… just plain you are such a “sweetie” that I am going to over power you and get you to do as I want and as I deem.  Many men who do this have insecurity  and control issues and by calling a woman endearments prematurely makes them feel powerful and in control when actually they are weakened, rude and fools.  It shows a lack of respect to refer to someone out of their name that you barely know. It’s way too familiar and crosses personal boundaries.

If a woman calls another woman she doesn’t know well or if they are the same age,  something like ‘sweetie’, it’s nothing but pulling rank as in claiming she is higher up, more important, in charge or knows more.

When I hear premature, unwarranted and unwanted endearments it makes me think of a drunk sitting in a bar referring to female servers  as “sweetie.”  Or some vile, overweight, drunken man sliming around somewhere like Vegas referring to women, he has just met, as “honey, lover, baby, sugar lump”.  Makes me want to gag!

My Mother was from the South where people tend to greet others in this manner… but never someone that you don’t know at all. And men who use these endearments to ‘try’ and be ‘familiar’, in order, to create a false sense of intimacy to ‘get there’, before ‘getting there’ is even on the radar are just plain clueless dummies.  And it’s the biggest turn off. So get a clue, it’s an insult to call people endearments, unless, you are in a real relationship, or you are 20, or more years older than the person … darlin’!

A granny or grandpa calling a little child “sweetie” is endearing… otherwise save all endearments and pet names until a time when it’s acceptable as in, you are in a real relationship with the person and have had the time and experience for endearments and pet names to be developed naturally because then and only then are they acceptable, meaningful and worthy.

So, unless you are my granny, don’t call me sweetie!

Shades of Grey = dysfunction, not sexy, damage, boring, bland, blah!

nightshirtpolkadots1I didn’t read the book, but saw the movie…

All it was is a depiction of a damaged child/man who can’t connect in love, therefore,  uses control and domination through sex  to make himself feel. He projects his damage and pain through punishment onto women in order to escape his own.

It was more sad than sexy. In fact, nothing about it was sensual or sexy. There are more and more people  today who are damaged as this man is depicted, who can’t look at self long enough to heal, who go from person to person focusing on sexuality for escape, thrill and the high and even when given the chance at connecting with a loving person is too emotionally damaged and fearful of becoming vulnerable to connect.

Love,  passion and commitment are what makes sex, sexy. Sure games can be fun and taking it to individual fantasies and edges can be exciting on occasion, but that in itself means nothing and lasts less than that.  Most mature adults recognize and understand this, immature, inexperienced youth won’t and don’t and some will see this movie as ‘cool’ showing things to try before they are emotionally and sexually developed which can then lead to distorting their perceptions of sex and love.

I found nothing sexy about this movie. I found it pretty boring and blah. The actors while attractive had no chemistry and that is another aspect that makes sex, sexy… chemistry along with personality.

To me, this was a psychological study of an emotionally damaged man.

At least, in the movie, she left him. I think so anyway. I exited to the ladies’ room several times, I was so bored.  But he soiled an inexperienced and pure person to his perversions.

Now, what would have made it interesting is, had love been able to break through his damage and pain, to break him open to real love. But he was too damaged, weak and fearful,  just like some in the world  who can’t commit and focus on sex, instead of  love, emotions and feelings.

I have no idea what all the ‘to do’ was about this story. I found it mundanely  dull. I know that’s redundant but so was the movie.

Why women like it, might it be that the thought, idea and fantasy of a ‘powerful/successful’ man taking control in the bedroom, and, or in their life, might be appealing because now days,  so many men  seem to have lost their manhood and are looking for a mother. And a man looking for a mother has no sex appeal. But in actuality,  the  sad, damaged man in the movie needed to be mothered, in orde,r to heal and possibly be able to love.

In a real enduring relationship, each person plays all the roles of male/female respectively…  as in intimacy, healing, growth, vulnerablity, empathy, strength, weakness, sex, sensuality, child, parent, teacher, student, lead, follower, depending on time, place and circumstance, etc..

Nothing is more sensual and sexy than an emotionally strong man who can take control in the bedroom, but ‘control’ is a shared two-way experience and a man who is too weak and insecure to let a woman take the lead to balance out the experiences is not sexy for long.

In my opinion, there were not many shades of grey in this movie, there was only one and it was blah!

Gender confusion… ?

???????????????????????????????If this offends anyone, sorry… as this is my opinion.

God created man and  woman to complement one another and their respective physical bodies display this clearly… to reproduce, comfort one another, have companionship and family.

Why all this gender confusion? Is it hormones in the food, drugs, big pharma, and, or recreational drugs, psychological or sexual abuse, or what?  Because it is not natural to the nature of our bodies. The children of the hippie generation seem to be the most confused and it’s just gotten worse since then. Did the recreational drugs their parents took cross over  the placenta and affect their hormonal make-up and genetics? Because it’s become bizarre like some freak show on earth.

I have interacted with homosexuals in my life because I was a ballet dancer and in the interior design fields for years. Those I knew blended in and didn’t choose to make a spectacle of themselves.  Those that I talked to in depth all revealed they had been sexually abused as children by those of the same or opposite sex,  had psychological or physical abuse from one or both parents and on a deep level had both disdain and envy for heterosexuals. It is known that when a child is over sexualized or sexualized in a perverted way it can affect them their whole life as to choices and self-esteem as their fragile boundaries are crossed when they are still in formation and an imprint is made on their mind, body and spirit. Open a door to evil and it walks right in. That is why we need to protect our children from perverted imprints being placed on them  from any level.. movies, TV, politically, in society, and in the home.

Children have a special place in God’s heart and anyone who harms a child is inviting God’s wrath upon himself.
Sexual abuse or molestation is particularly devastating and is soundly condemned in Scripture. Warnings against sexual sin abound in Scripture. To force sexual acts upon a child is a horrible, evil offense. In addition to committing a sexual sin, the perpetrator is also attacking the innocence of one of the world’s most vulnerable persons. Sexual abuse violates everything about a person from his or her understanding of self to physical boundaries to their spiritual connection with God. Perhaps, that is why evil is attacking human beings so intensely on this level  and at this time.  In a child, boundaries are barely established so that they are altered for life, and without appropriate help may not ever heal.
Psychological and emotional abuse are also forbidden in Scripture. Ephesians 6:4 warns fathers not to “exasperate” or provoke their children, but to bring them up in the “training and instruction of the Lord.” Harsh, unloving verbal discipline, emotional manipulation, or volatile environments alienate children’s minds from their parents and render their instruction and correction useless. Parents can provoke and exasperate their children by placing unreasonable requirements on them, belittling them, or constantly finding fault, thereby producing wounds that can be as bad as or worse than any physical beating can inflict.

Today, many gays are like side shows in the way they dress and act. It’s circus-like in its distortion. Many years ago, I was in Key West and witnessed for the first time women with women, and men with men openly flaunting their choice, bizarre behavior and dress. I found it humorously amusing  while it also made me feel like I needed to take a long shower to wash off grime after viewing their perverted depravity.

In the days of the caveman, were there men who wanted to be women and women who wanted to be men? Without the injecting of hormones, plastic surgeries, cosmetics, and clothing this change is not possible.

As a child, I was a Tomboy. I climbed trees, wore dungarees, ran around the neighborhood barefoot and dirty, at that time, the dirt didn’t bother me. I even climbed to the roofs of houses that were under construction, more daring and risk ready than many of the little boys in our group,  but when I went to Sunday school I wore a dress and never once did I wish or want to be a  boy. Then as I began to mature, I became more feminine, concerned about my dress, and cleanliness, no spots on my dresses,  pretty and well-groomed became my desire, even though I was still into sports, and, of course, ballet.

About a decade or more ago, I was out to dinner with many girlfriends. one friend had invited her decorator and she brought along her ‘girlfriend’. The decorator looked butch with a short hair-cut along with a manly attitude and mannerisms and it intrigued the rest of us. We started talking about homosexuality. The butch-girl said she could tell just by looking at someone, if they were gay or bi. She would look around the room and point those out she ‘deemed’ as such. We found her bizarre,  really off, but entertaining in a sordid way. Then she turned to me and my friend and said we had the possiblity to be if we were open. We both laughed, as this woman proceeded with her manipulative BS. It was as if she wanted to make everyone like her. We clearly had no interest and while it was humorous in its way, it was also demeaning and insulting that this dyke was trying to turn two very feminine women into her prey. She was crossing our boundaries with her manipulative, self-serving verbiage. She was a homosexual predator.  I wonder, how many of those with weak boundaries who have curiosity or confusion fall for this kind of manipulation and try something that they are not and have no interest in?

What has happened to our society that so many are confused about their gender? If you have a penis you are a man, if you have a vagina you are a woman. Nuff said!

“Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.” Luke 17:28-30 (KJV)
Leviathan spins the web of fog to blind peope to the truth.  Good is seen as bad,  bad is seen as good, truth is seen as lie,  lie is seen as truth, because that is the way and agenda of Satan’s destruction.

What inspires you to love?

TreeAnn6Is it beauty, fun, kindness? Is it sex, liking the samethings, or experiences shared? Is it commonalities, differences, or the energy you feel when you are with the person? Is it their actions, words, or that their words and actions match? Is it consistancy, compatiblity, tension or comfort?

Is it inconsistancy, uncertainty, excitement, thrill,  or danger?

Different things attract  the inspiration to love. Some of the attractions are healthy and some not. Sometimes, it’s a mixture of the good and the bad? Some people think they love someone when they feel like they felt with their parents or caregivers. They attract to the familiarity of whatever they experienced then, so it ‘feels’ like love, ‘like home’, when perhaps, it isn’t. It’s just familiar, like a habit, but  it’s what ‘feels’ comfortable, like an old shoe and so they think it’s love.

If the past was healthy and nurturing that is great, but if it was one of discord, addictions or dyfunction, not so great. Those imprinted patterns are difficult to break and they can guide either to goodness or destruction.

So, ponder what inspires you to love and attracts you to someone as it’s the basis of the relationship, its journey, its joys, its pain, its success, its harm, or failure.

“But does he who loves someone on account of beauty really love that person? No; for the small-pox, which will kill beauty without killing the person, will cause him to love her no more.

And if one loves me for my judgment, memory, he does not love me, for I can lose these qualities without losing myself. Where, then, is this Ego, if it be neither in the body nor in the soul? And how love the body or the soul, except for these qualities which do not constitute me, since they are perishable? … We never, then, love a person, but only qualities.”  Blaise Pascal’s “Pensees”

The above is an example of shallow love…

We all lose our ‘qualities’ eventually  and when we do, is when we will know if we are loved and if we love.

The awareness, blessing and grace to love without the distraction of qualities and traits is  a genuine gift and if we love sincerely love  will  eventually evolve into this.

What attracts you to love someone? Ever really thought about it deeply, beyond the face, figure, abs, smile, etc?

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

Oscar Wilde

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Commitment …

???????????????????????????????Once commitment happens is when everything begins and until it happens it is playing  and that goes for relationships, a business, or any endeavor. Nothing happens without the commitment to it.

com·mit·ment
– a promise to do or give something

– a promise to be loyal to someone or something

– the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something

A person can talk all day about losing weight but until they commit to taking the action, it’s all for naught and is wasted energy.

A man can say that he loves a woman, but until a commitment is made, it’s playing house. To want all the benefits of a relationship or marriage without the commitment is spoiled and childlike and will most always do harm to both participants.

A person can talk about writing a book or creating a piece of art but until the commitment and action are taken, it’s nothing but talk.

It’s either worth the commitment or it isn’t. A person is either commited or they aren’t. Some people won’t or can’t make commitments. They avoid them skipping from one thing to the next, be it a hobby, a relationship, or a job.

Let’s talk relatonship commitment. A man and a woman committed to creating a life together is the best and what God intended. Sex without commitment… well, what is that exactly? Not much!

When a man commits to a woman, oftentimes, is the point when he become a real man. He oftentimes becomes more successful than he would have without her or if he remained single. A mature, genuine man becomes focused in his life by making this commitment to his beloved and this life.  He claims responsibilities as a man and an honorable man not only wants to make this commitment but takes his commitments seriously.  The dishonorable man, not only does not take, or make the commitment, but he may not honor it if, and when he does. That is why we have so many fatherless homes, children left with mothers to do it all. There are fewer and fewer male role models. It seems the commitment to a relationship, love,  and to have a family have lost value to some. When this is the most valuable commitment and in the long run reaps the greatest rewards in life and it  all begins with commitment. (I know a woman must make the commitment also for it to work and for it to be worthwhile.) But it begins with the maturity in the male… otherwise, a woman is forced to take on the male role and this is one most women resent then bitterness takes over the relationship.

A man is the leader, the provider, he sets the stage. The woman is the nurturer and the creator. I am not implying that there are not dimensions in of both in either sexes… but this is their primary innate roles. Men hunt and gather and women create the home. If a man can’t/won’t do his part, the woman cannot do hers and it all falls apart. (and of course, visa versa) Men are stronger, women are softer than, and again that doesn’t mean that women aren’t strong or that men can’t be soft. Actually, softness is the the most strength. A women helps a man process his emotions, but if he doesn’t do his part in creating that space for her, she will get exhausted… as will a man who is providing and doens’t feel nurtured and appreciated. Appreciation is the key. Both sexes must feel appreciated for what they bring to the relationship as both are equally valuable and the place it begins and the glue that holds it together is commitment.

At times, a commitment can be difficult to hold to, but all that’s worthwhile in lfe begins and ends with a commitment to it.

Having a child is one of life’s major commitments and anyone who has a child without the commitment to the  well-being of the child is an immature, selfish fool.

Commitment is what
Transforms the promise into reality.
It is the words that speak
Boldly of your intentions.
And the actions which speak
Louder than the words.
It is making the time
When there is none.
Coming through time
After time after time,
Year after year after year.
Commitment is the stuff
Character is made of;
The power to change
The face of things.
It is the daily triumph
Of integrity over skepticism.
When I say I love you, I mean that I’m committed to working to love you even when it’s hard.
by Ashbash

It’s out of commitment that comes true happiness and contentment…

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Can you tell the quality of a person by looking at them?

???????????????????????????????Can you tell the stock  from where they derive, how they were reared, the values, morals and qualities that were instilled from their family and its lineage? Is it solid or not? Can you tell their health, their intelligence, their morality, their standards or lack of,  by their external appearance and how they present themelves? Can you tell by their eyes, their smile, their demeanor, their grrooming,  and the words they use,  whether or not they are a quality human being? Well, can you tell a good cook by sampling their food?… of course, you can!

It matters not the clothes that a person of real internal quality and worth wears because they will wear their clothes, their clothes won’t wear them.  Character trumps clothing everytime. You will notice a person i with quality of character before their clothing,  who they are  is clear and their clothing is only a part of it. Their clothes are secondary to who they are because who they are precedes everything else. Their clothing may or may not further define them in any given time. But in a person of low quality, you see what they are wearing before you even notice them or who they are. They may even wear things that glitter and shine to attract attention or to deflect from who they really are, so they can’t be seen clearly for what and who they really are. relying on their clothing to shout their existance and presence. You know the flashy types who always wear  the latest,  in the moment style, or the ones who put tatoos on their body, piercings, and do other things that mar and distort their natural body  beauty as in pink or green hair, etc.

Haven’t you seen a person of quality wearing a plain tee and jeans workout clothing, or oversized casual clothing as they mow their yard or do some other activity,  and their quality is seen, no matter what they have on or how momentarily grubby becasue their inner quality emanates even glows  from their being. It’s in the energy they emit and it’s one of sincere, internal quality. And haven’t you seen a person of no-quality wearing the finest of clothing and all you  could see is their clothes because there clothes were all there was to see? It’s as if the clothes are walking down the street on their own creating and carrying the image and existence of this empty being.

Now, of course, there are some people who have learned to mimic  quality and can fool the world or certain individuals  for awhile. But if you will really look and learn to discern, people of quality, internal value and worth have a certain look in their eyes, on their faces and in their walk no matter where they are, what they have on, or in what circumstances they may fine themselves. Although, there’s an old adage that you can’t see in another that which you don’t have in yourself.  I don’t know, is that always accurate or not?

A person of real quality, style and class is rarely appreciated by the masses because of their subtlety and refinement.  Often times, they move about with little notice. Quality doesn’t draw attention… it just is.

It’s internal confidence with no need for fakery. Sure, they may enjoy the latest fashion and have fun with it, but it’s not what defines them. What defines them is their internal moral adjuster, their conscience, their internal peace and knowing who they are in their being. It’s a heart, mind, body connection along with how they were reared, in what environment, along what they chose and allowed to have imprinted upon themselves.

We all tend to become a bit like those whom we associate with… so careful who you are around. My Dad used to tell me, “If you run with ducks, people will think you are a duck, and you are a swan.”

People of quality live in the pride of who they are and value themselves, their health, their well-being as well as that of others…

They wear clean, well-fitted garments, not too tight and not too loose and choose appropriate clothing and behavior for each situation and  circumstance. They are comfortable in their skin and selective about what they put on that skin and what and how they adorn themselves and their life.

Being appropriate in dress and behavior defines and separates the gentlemen from the clods, the ladies from the average and the ‘wanna be’s’ from the real.

The way a person presents themselves to the world, their dress and style, their voice tone,  their language use, the way they move, their grooming habits and if they will look you in the eye or not state who they are internally displayed externally.  Clear speech is one of the hallmarks of class. Class doen’t mumble and rarely uses slang except as appropriate to occasion.   Appropriateness or not, time and place  is key.

My opinion, one of the rudest, most lowly, classless activities, I see these days is that of being glued to cell phones, etc. Those who walk, drive and even interact with others  with their eyes on their phone… no person of quality does this.

Think about it… we create our appearance, it comes from the deep-seatedness of  who we are and is expressed outwardly in everything we do, wear, say, eat, walk, talk, and with whom  we associate. Quality was at one time valued … we knew what it was when we saw it, appreaciated it and many more had it.

It’s quality. It’s class. It’s the best. It’s the rarity. It’s something to strive for. People and parents who don’t have it can’t teach and model it.

Quality… seems these days, it’s on its way to being lost and a thing of the past.

Quality is innate and rare . It’s a reflection of breeding through the generations.  It’s a value that we need not only bring back but to learn to recognize and appreciate. Quality of character seeps through one’s pores…

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