Can insecure fearful people…

love another for genuine reasons?

Insecure fearful people are overly focused on self and what they lack and what they are trying to gain in order to feel better about themselves. So can they genuinely care for or love another? They are most always looking to fill themselves up in some way, instead of giving to another and to, at times be able to fill another up.
Love is about what you give, not what you take.When an insecure fearful person does give, they most always have a need, even must feel like they have some kind of gain or reward in it for themselves, or it isn’t worth it to them.  When, or if an insecure taker does give, they are more concerned that others see what they did and that they get approval and applause for their giving, rather than to be focused on just the pure pleasure of giving to another. Their innate insecurity creates an inner need to make everything about themselves. Many times, their insecurity leads them to be controlling of others.

Momentary pleasure with a temporary feeling of security are only when they gain something or feel good about themselves – so they can pat their needy little selves on the back.  They suck off the energy of others to get through their miserably dark and lacking life, instead of dealing with their inner turmoil, issues and feelings of insecurity. They may even appear egotistical in their words and behaviors to cover-up for their innate insecurity.

They attract to beauty, money, success, status and things that they ‘think’ will rub off on them and give them a brighter facade or image – in order to build up their insecure ego. 

In a love relationship – there will be a circle of giving and receiving and at times, one may need more than the other because of life circumstances, etc. – but when, or if one begins to feel drained, used and taken for granted – in ‘aware’ love, the other will sense this and connect with them in comforting love – as in hugging, touching, nurturing, or a look in the eyes. But an insecure, needy, self-serving, selfish person will rarely if ever recognize need or lack in another, unless, it serves their self-interest to do so – as in they will gain attention, prestige, sex, gifts, money, or reward of some sort, etc.

Example: in relationship – you can handle their moods and issues, but they can’t handle yours. And not only that, they ‘expect’ you to handle theirs, and will feel put upon whenever there is a need for them to handle your emotions or moods.
Think the woman who can’t stand it when her husband shows weakness in some area – or the man who negates his tired wife’s need for rest and attention. These people are so overly about having their own needs met through the other, than to truly care for and love the other – with little ability to see, recognize the other person as separate, with their own issues, needs and pain.

If your well-being is overly tied to your partner, you will be internally that of a needy child.
On the flip side, if your partner can’t have a melt down with your support  and understanding then you are not  being there for them – but are there only for your selfish-self and childish needs.  If you expect your partner to be perfect in your eyes and out in the world at all times – think of the pressure you are putting on them. Relationship is a place where you can rest and be rejuvenated, to feel and  know that you will be comforted and cared for when you are not at your best.  It is a place to sustain you when you are down and to lift you up.

If you are too insecure and weak to face your issues and pain, you will deflect and project them onto another – trying to make something wrong about them, in order to make yourself feel better about you. 

Love is a combination of acceptance of another, while having self- awareness and growth at the same time.

There are individual fatal flaws that make relationship impossible as in – cheating, addictions, lack of genuine commitment, need to escape at any sign of stress or conflict, inability to have empathy as in seeing your partner’s side of the situation with understanding. If a person is addicted to anything then their relationship is with the addiction instead of their partner –  that addiction may be alcohol, drugs, food, TV, porn, parental approval whether parent be dead or alive, and material things such as collections, etc.
Relationship is for giving, receiving and ultimately healing and growth both individually and together to equal balance in self and in one another. It takes much self-awareness and a mature openness in both  individuals to merge with another in genuine love and commitment. Otherwise, it’s just playing, like a child does and becomes a game to see who can take and get their needs met in spite of the  needs of the other.

In today’s world, there is much narcissism, selfishness, materialism, self-centeredness, lack of commitment, immorality, inability to self-reflect, lack of ability to look at self in genuine awareness. And because of this lack there are many unhappy, depressed, anxiety-ridden, addicted even tormented people. Immaturity is rampant. Accountability and responsibility are lacking.

There is no relationship without accountability and responsibility. It’s about commitment to self in awareness and growth as well as commitment to one another. This is what makes relationship so rich, worthwhile and life worth living.

In relationship is where you learn about yourself  in ‘relation’ to another human being with the ability to become more and this is even in casual daily passing relationships. Only ultimately and more importantly, it is intensely experienced in the love relationship. You were attracted to another and brought together for a reason and purpose. If you shut down, runaway or escape when it gets difficult or becomes real, you are not only harming your partner but ultimately yourself.

When commitment, accountability and responsibility are negated, put down, diminished, dismissed, ignored and escaped from in our individual lives, we are creating  a distorted, fractured, weak immoral society and  world – wherein self-pleasure, selfishness and self- centeredness rule and ultimately there is much self misery.

Books to assist in awareness and growth DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart – Both available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. in e-book and soft cover.

Extreme feminism is toxic …

Extreme feminism is destroying romantic love along with limiting, perhaps even destroying the balancing of male/female energies on earth. God created male and female  – the perfect complement to one another – the most powerful connect/attraction on earth.  Satan/evil is trying to disrupt and destroy this balance.  Deep in a feminine woman’s heart is the need and desire that she feel taken care of by her man.  She has a deep desire to feel supported by him – to feel held up when she is down – to have strong arms to fall into when her storms of life hit – when she feels anxious, uncertain, fearful, overwhelmed, etc.  A feminine woman wants and needs the strong masculine energy.
Male and female energies balance each other – are different yet equal.  Feminine energy is powerful. And when a feminine woman has to/tries to be the man for herself in a relationship; she becomes drained, angry, stressed and feels as if perhaps, she doesn’t need the male energy after all. Some men have become feminine in their energy and women are losing respect for them. The more feminine the men become, the more in her male energy a woman feels she needs to be. Men become frustrated and angry and so do women when this occurs. Women are behaving like men to try to become and feel equal and it’s making them feel many things, instead of equal. And men are losing attraction to these women and even treating them like men. Women and men were always meant to be equal. They are equal by being who they are – who they were created to be by God. Otherwise, it’s destroying feminine power long with weakening the male power and turning it all into a distortion.
Having a strong, masculine man to spend a life with is the most important thing to an innately feminine women who stands in her feminine power. The same is accurate for a masculine man, he desires the power of the divine feminine as his partner. A masculine man makes his woman able to feel like a girl again – able to feel safe and protected.  A masculine man makes a feminine woman feel great in her body. She doesn’t mind giving up the lead because she feels safe and wisely guided.  A woman may be able to make money, be a success in the world, have children without a man,  even fight for herself, but a feminine woman still craves a masculine man. 
    It may feel vulnerable to admit this, since woman have been brainwashed  into thinking that to need, want, even crave the masculine is not being a ‘feminist’. 

Perhaps, women have been conned to, lied to and have been lying to themselves to believe and think that they don’t need a man. Not to survive, or live or that she can’t take care of herself and her own needs, but that she wants to need a man. Not being or feeling ‘needy’, but because the masculine energy lights her up, holds her should she fall and protects her. Nothing is wrong with ‘needing’. We have been brainwashed into thinking that a woman ‘needing’ a man and a man ‘needing’ a woman is wrong or weak. When needing is  innate and natural. It’s actually only the strong who can allow vulnerability  to one another – vulnerable to someone who is worthy of trust.The weak, insecure and defensive can’t/won’t allow vulnerability.
It’s time to stop listening to those trying to orchestrate the male/female connection/attraction out of existence. Being the divine feminine standing in the heart of her power  will both need and desire a man who takes her places, throws her on the bed, who is an enlighten male – operating from the divine masculine energy who guides her/them and leads her/them in life.
We all slip into different roles at times, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. The divine male will listen to the divine feminine and vice versa. It’s normal and natural – as we have both male & female inside ourselves on varying levels and degrees.
       Being a female,  you can feel whether a man is dominant or submissive. In today’s world, signs that a man is of divine masculinity is that he has a strong male energy. He is not afraid to be dominant and to hold his ground, but just this – does not mean that he can’t have well-developed feminine energy too. He’s multi-dimensional – once referred to as a Renaissance man – oh, how terms for things change.
       Okay – dominate –  but how?
Dominate for some men means being a controlling asshole. Or he may be the rare enlightened male – spiritual, but still masculine. This type of man is rare.  Sometimes,  it’s difficult to  tell the level of a man’s masculinity, so here are some clues:
– When among others and socializing,  a man of weak masculinity often talks in a way that puts other people down. Doing this, shows his insecurity but the real reason is that genuinely masculine men are more centered and focused than to put others down directly or indirectly. To do so shows his lack of ability to focus and lack of direction in his own life. Men with a sense of mission who are focused don’t cloud their brain with gossip and negative talk about others.  Lengthy gossip is something that some women do. There’s a difference between telling it like it is and having most of what comes out be criticism and gossip.  

– People don’t pay attention and aren’t interested in listening when he speaks. A masculine man usually has the ability to engage people and is not afraid to engage others socially to do so. Observe how he is with his friends and in groups of people.  Can ne command respect and space and can allow space for others to do the same.
 –  A masculine man is strong in his choices; and is stable in his own abilities that others’ opinions only count for so much – but he does listen to others – not necessarily adapting them as his own because his choices matter the most. If he’s seeking approval from others, especially women, something is off, in that he is not secure in himself. If he adapts to other’s view points too easily taking  them as his own, he has no sense of self and is easily swayed. If he needs too much reassurance – then he lacks self-trust.  He will go with the group as in the lib/dem masses do. – If he loses things all the time, do you trust him? If his answers are, “I don’t know.” too often, can you trust him?
 Masculine energy is directional – it knows where it’s going and if it doesn’t – it finds out. Masculine energy knows the answers, the how to’s. – Masculine energy is not a complainer. The man who complains about work, his boss, his ex, his mother, his father, his life. the world or  the man who has an injury or mishap and goes on and on about it. And so enjoys telling the story of how bad it is or all was and how it happened over and over again. Complaints – complaints – complaints.

When does he have the time to take the problem at hand and deal with it – or to heal from the past trauma or issue that he carries with him?  Like the man who got engaged in his twenties and the woman cheated on him and in his fifties is still talking about it. When will he ever get over it, heal from it and why is he holding onto it? For sympathy?  For the ole poor me deal? To make his case that all women cheat or that commitment doesn’t work? Perhaps, he’s not even looking to deal or to heal. He just wants to blurt out complaints. This is mostly a feminine thing – being hurt, upset or complaining, because our natural feminine instinct is not to solve problems. but to talk about them over and over. It’s the lifeblood of the feminine to connect, talk and soon we feel better as if the problem never existed.  If a man is more towards the Alpha on the spectrum of Beta, he will not complain, but will solve.
When a woman can trust a man to be a man, a woman can relax and be a woman and this benefits both the male and female.   If a man talks about how bad their ex-girlfriend was, how they don’t have enough sex, how stressful their job is, with complaints about women, marriage, commitment, dating etc. –  they are complainers and may never get past their past or heal from their issues. Real men heal. Real women heal.

Feminists hold onto to issues, don’t forgive and hate. Misogynists hold onto issues, don’t forgive and hate.
Males who blame females for it all. Women who blame men it all are the cause of the male/female divide.Relationship is a place for divine healing…. it’s a gift from God of the true magnificence of the male/female connection/ attraction….
So-called feminism is toxic to both the male and female and our world.

Tools to assist in awareness – FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help

Becoming aware…

At church yesterday, I sat in a pew behind a family of grandparents, parents and a sweet little four-year-old girl. During the church service, the  four-year-old would move from one side of the pew to the other, sit by her mother, then snuggle into her grandfather, look through the hymnal, play with her little pink purse, open and close it – sit still for a moment, then begin her exploration and movements all over again. She was a well-behaved for a four-year-old – quiet, sweet and would sit and be still as long as she could, when one of the adults would suggest that she do so. She was perfect in her development and behavior for four.
But what if she was still behaving in this manner at the age of 16 – at the age of 30 – at the age of 50? If she was, then we would look at her with pity – concern and wonder why she never grew past the developmental age of 4. Is it a mental disorder – was she not reared properly – does she just like to be an irritation to others – is she selfish and spiteful and just not want to fit in?  Does she like to cause disturbances? Was she not taught manners, patience, respect, empathy responsibility, accountability?

This example is an exaggeration because should an adult move about as this child was – clearly something would be terribly wrong. Only today, so many adults are walking around with the internal developmental age of immature children,  self-centered, selfish, no accountability, lack of manners, lack of responsibility, etc.

They may on the outside ‘look’ like adults, but inside they are stuck at some underdeveloped developmental stage. I am not referring to our keeping our inner child alive – so we can, at times, run and play and keep our child-like curiosity that keeps us vital though adult life. I am referring to inner turmoil and dysfunction, either because they are weak, were never taught, had dysfunction modeled for them or were not imprinted with the attributes that lead to true inner awareness and maturity to be able to adapt, develop mentally and emotionally to live a fully responsible life to self and others.

They are the adults walking around who ‘look’ the part, ‘dress’ the part- even have a job  that ‘appears’ the part, but who are not genuine. They are frauds unto themselves and others and live in internal misery and harm many others along the way.  They are addicted to things, to substances, to sex, to using others, to creating a false image, to staying immature, selfish and all about self.
“Me, me, me  – it’s mine – I can do what I want to. Leave me alone!” –  are a few of their outward or inward cries. They are stuck in a developmental stage of childhood with no awareness of self in relation to others or even to what they are doing to themselves. They are ‘play acting’ the part of an adult. Many are referred to as narcissist, pathological, dysfunctional, cluster-B’s, depressives, etc. They use people, institutions, positions, things, substances – any and whomever they can, to try to keep their adult in-control facade in tact.
The lack of maturity, accountability, responsibly in many adults today is astounding.  They are depressed, anxious, addicted, power- hungry without self-control, hoarders, materialistic,  control-freaks, stuff themselves with food, drink, etc. immoral – self-serving – selfish, etc. 

Lib/Dem/progressive/ NWO globalists are prime example of developmental dysfunctions. They want everything given to them – power and control over others, just because they say so and think they ‘know’ better.  Think the developmental stage of the know- it- all teenager or even the NO! of the toddler.  The ‘I want it all for nothing’ – think the toddler to age of five stages. It’s five or six when many of us learn to share, to have empathy, to put others before ourselves, to have genuine compassion. Then there are those trying to be  in complete rule and want complete control  over the the masses – the little dictator-stage of the two-year-old –  and those being controlled want everything for nothing – just like little dependent children.

 A world of toddlers stuck in – “NO NO  NO” –  Three-year-olds – “It’s mine!” –  Six-year-olds “Leave me alone!  – Teenagers – “I will do what I want to! Stay out of my room!”  As a society and as individuals, if  we do not develop properly, we create a world of hell and as individuals we will live in internal hell.

God and an upbringing in the ways of the Bible and Christianity define and create a practice of self-awareness to become responsible, accountable for our actions that leads to an internal mature and developed life. Without this development,  individually we will  live in pain trying to fill the void in ourselves up with things that will not ever spiritual satisfy us. And as a world, we will have what we are seeing in many people now.

It all begins with self and the developmental stages of childhood. this is why the NWO progressive/globalists want control of  our children younger and younger to imprint them with controllable dysfunction even perversion, with lack of boundaries for their use and benefit. A person who stays forever a teenager or young adult with no accountability and responsibility to another, who can’t put others before themselves and have empathy and patience will not be a whole, internally satisfied human being. There will always be the unrest of the four-year-old inside. Sure, there is a positive side to being a child-at- heart then there is a very negative almost demonic side to never maturing properly.  

Nurturing and caring for our inner child and being mature and accountable to others is an internal balance.

‘Acting’ the part isn’t genuinely being or living the part.

Bring a child up in the ways of the Bible. church/God and it will serve him for all of his days.
A tool to assist in awareness DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help.