Tag Archives: happiness

The Grass Is Greener….

Really? Are you so sure about that? We all have the tendency, at times to think the grass is greener in someone else’s life or that if we could only have this, do that, achieve thus and so – then our life would be wonderful and we will have ‘arrived’! Really? Arrived – where?  Anywhere you go – there you will be. And do you really think having that car, purse, or dress, etc. will change who you are or make a difference in who you are or how you feel about yourself – for long? Whatever you put on your body – you are still yourself inside.

Have you ever envied someone else’s life, only to realize when you get to know them  –  Whoa! I am so glad I am me and not them.

Appreciating who you are, where you are and what you have is the greatest awareness. It’s called acceptance, peace, happiness and inner joy.  It’s called  being in the moment – being in present time – and that is  the real gift – the ‘present’.  You are where you are  in any given time for a divine purpose and reason. It’s your life in that moment of time to fully feel and to enjoy.

This does not mean that you stop trying to achieve, grow, do and have, but that you be in the moment, satisfied and appreciating of all that you have and where you are in that particular time – in the now.  Life can always change for the good, or for the worst, in an instant. If you aren’t able to experience the joy in and of the moment then you will not be  able to feel fully satiated no matter what you have, do or gain – you will always feel lack. longing and wanting of more or something else to try and fill up the empty hole that you have inside yourself.  You will always be thinking the ‘grass is greener’. A person who does this is not able to settle into peace with self.

Things don’t give you peace. Things don’t/won’t fulfill you for long – they will always leave you wanting for more, different or newer.

Someone who can’t feel settled in self is always thinking that the ‘grass is greener’.  That there is something out there somewhere that they need, just must have to feel ‘okay’, or better about themselves. They can’t, – are unable to settle into peace, appreciation and joy because they are too busy being on the prowl looking for something else to fill them up.

Not being able to settle in self may  actually cause them to  lose all that they do have  – lost – never to be realized again.  As in a man who cheats on their spouse, ‘thinking’ the pretty little thing that caught their eye is what they ‘must’ have to feel happy and content,  only to lose everything that means any and everything in the world to them – then to realize  that pretty little thing is nothing much at all – just a momentary shiny new thing.

Those who  are always looking for the next shiny thing – end up going through lots of tinsel… without  ever holding onto  or having a real diamond in their hands for long –  because they may drop the diamond to chase the tinsel.

Those who think the ‘grass is greener’ have  little to no balance in their lives.  They are in a pattern of dismissing & diminishing what it is that they do have – no matter how great it actually may be. – they can’t see or appreciate it  because they are always on the search &   looking for more, next, another, or what they ‘think’ is  ‘better’ to fill up their empty soul. They do this because of their dissatisfaction with self.

Joy happens when you can appreciate and live in the moment. Joy is the awareness of the moment  and being in appreciation for all that you have – that what God has placed before you is yours – it’s your perfect place to be!

Did you ever stop to think that while you are thinking the ‘grass is greener’ that someone is looking at you – your life – your wife – your house – etc. and thinking the ‘grass is greener’ where you are?

Your life is ‘your’ gift from God – whatever – where ever – it may be or is. It’s yours. So appreciate the good and the bad – because it’s  all yours.

How about stating in this moment – I approve of myself. I am all that I ever thought I would or could be in this very moment.  I am blessed. Thank you God for all that I am, all that I have, all the lessons, all the trials, all the awareness, all that I have become and all that I will be.  If you can’t/don’t appreciate the moment without the wanting, evening yearning for more – you will never experience contentment, peace and joy.

Then carry  forward  from that point – creating, learning, etc, while  making sure to appreciate what you are  and have in the now,  the people in your life etc. in this time frame.

For awareness … DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help 

on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and all the other usual places.

You were born  and placed exactly where you were meant to be. Your circumstances and experiences are perfect for you and who you are meant to become. It’s up to you to either break against or immerse yourself  – change – grow or become more – most importantly to become more aware. It’s your  life. This moment is yours! Be aware and be in joy!

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529383520&sr=8-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch   

Those who genuinely believe in Jesus Christ…

Have less stress – less mental and emotional issues – more peace – more joy – have more faith – love – contentment. Why? Because they know who they are and where they are going when they leave earth. Talking to Christ and listening with their heart through their mind’s eye, they also understand why they are on earth and their placement and mission and they go for it and live it fully. They are guided. They have more love – respect – kindness – generosity – acceptance – understanding – forgiveness of their fellowman.

They strive for ‘right’ living and following the ten commandments.

When they are in pain and going through the storms of life on earth, they hold quick and fast to the hand of Jesus Christ as their comfort and guide. There will always be trials and pain on earth – it is the planet of dualities – good and evil – that is what keeps this place rockin’ and rollin’.

I am not talking those who ‘pretend’ to believe because they think it’s the ‘thing’ to do or to make people think they are good, in order that they put one over on others. I am writing about those who really and genuinely believe in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.  

They are not overly concerned with material things, their position or power on earth because they know all this is temporary. Sure, things of earth are fun and meaningful and for us to enjoy. Achievement and acquirement are meaningful here, but they are temporary and of earth. What is important and matters the most to the Christian is their soul.  

They will kindly give to others if they are able and even when it is difficult for them to do so. They respect themselves and others as Christ taught them to do.

Christ died for our sins so that we may have life everlasting, if we only believe in him.

May God bless you, America,  and may the world all come to know Christ.  It  is a peace that surpasses earth.

May you take Christ into your heart.  Live joyfully!

Commitment …

???????????????????????????????Once commitment happens is when everything begins and until it happens it is playing  and that goes for relationships, a business, or any endeavor. Nothing happens without the commitment to it.

com·mit·ment
– a promise to do or give something

– a promise to be loyal to someone or something

– the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something

A person can talk all day about losing weight but until they commit to taking the action, it’s all for naught and is wasted energy.

A man can say that he loves a woman, but until a commitment is made, it’s playing house. To want all the benefits of a relationship or marriage without the commitment is spoiled and childlike and will most always do harm to both participants.

A person can talk about writing a book or creating a piece of art but until the commitment and action are taken, it’s nothing but talk.

It’s either worth the commitment or it isn’t. A person is either commited or they aren’t. Some people won’t or can’t make commitments. They avoid them skipping from one thing to the next, be it a hobby, a relationship, or a job.

Let’s talk relatonship commitment. A man and a woman committed to creating a life together is the best and what God intended. Sex without commitment… well, what is that exactly? Not much!

When a man commits to a woman, oftentimes, is the point when he become a real man. He oftentimes becomes more successful than he would have without her or if he remained single. A mature, genuine man becomes focused in his life by making this commitment to his beloved and this life.  He claims responsibilities as a man and an honorable man not only wants to make this commitment but takes his commitments seriously.  The dishonorable man, not only does not take, or make the commitment, but he may not honor it if, and when he does. That is why we have so many fatherless homes, children left with mothers to do it all. There are fewer and fewer male role models. It seems the commitment to a relationship, love,  and to have a family have lost value to some. When this is the most valuable commitment and in the long run reaps the greatest rewards in life and it  all begins with commitment. (I know a woman must make the commitment also for it to work and for it to be worthwhile.) But it begins with the maturity in the male… otherwise, a woman is forced to take on the male role and this is one most women resent then bitterness takes over the relationship.

A man is the leader, the provider, he sets the stage. The woman is the nurturer and the creator. I am not implying that there are not dimensions in of both in either sexes… but this is their primary innate roles. Men hunt and gather and women create the home. If a man can’t/won’t do his part, the woman cannot do hers and it all falls apart. (and of course, visa versa) Men are stronger, women are softer than, and again that doesn’t mean that women aren’t strong or that men can’t be soft. Actually, softness is the the most strength. A women helps a man process his emotions, but if he doesn’t do his part in creating that space for her, she will get exhausted… as will a man who is providing and doens’t feel nurtured and appreciated. Appreciation is the key. Both sexes must feel appreciated for what they bring to the relationship as both are equally valuable and the place it begins and the glue that holds it together is commitment.

At times, a commitment can be difficult to hold to, but all that’s worthwhile in lfe begins and ends with a commitment to it.

Having a child is one of life’s major commitments and anyone who has a child without the commitment to the  well-being of the child is an immature, selfish fool.

Commitment is what
Transforms the promise into reality.
It is the words that speak
Boldly of your intentions.
And the actions which speak
Louder than the words.
It is making the time
When there is none.
Coming through time
After time after time,
Year after year after year.
Commitment is the stuff
Character is made of;
The power to change
The face of things.
It is the daily triumph
Of integrity over skepticism.
When I say I love you, I mean that I’m committed to working to love you even when it’s hard.
by Ashbash

It’s out of commitment that comes true happiness and contentment…

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Women! The man you are with needs to know…

 ???????????????????????????????… that you will not tolerate bad behavior, garbage, mistreatment, usuary, neglect, or any form of abuse, or disconnection.

Too many women put up with things that they should not… Remember, you teach someone how to treat you…

At the first sign of disrespect, mistreatment, discounting, lying, or abuse, address it immediately. Don’t let it slide… thinking that he didn’t mean it, or that you are being too ‘sensitive,’ or ‘demanding’, or that it will get ‘better’, or ‘change’, once you are committed, or married, or if you do ‘this’, or ‘that’ to make him happy. Thinking this way is delusional….

When someone shows you who they are, believe them…

Many men want you to ‘think’ that it is ‘you’ being too sensitive, demanding, or picky. That’s part of their gig… to get away with being lazy, abusive, disrespectful or slovenly…

There is many an abuser who will say…”Look at what ‘you’ made me do!” And that’s only their BS propaganda!

Some men level the title of ‘high maintenance’ on a woman… I say HA! Why would any self-respecting man want a woman who isn’t high maintenance? The answer is that they don’t… only the men, not worth having, do…

Address abusive behaviors upfront and immediately… and if they lose interest, because you have self-respect and that you will call them out on their issues, misbehavior and BS… they aren’t for you and it’s better that you find out upfront rather than years later…

Difficult, abusive, distancing, neglectful men can become, seem, or be like a ‘job’ to women who put up with it. A relationship should be fun, happy, fulfilling even joyful ‘most’ of the time. Love feels good and if you aren’t feeling good most of the time… then ‘something’ is wrong, off, and just not right…

Sure, we all have difficulties, adjustments and issues to deal with and to be discussed. That is part of relationship. But someone not willing to discuss, communicate and look at themselves is not worth your time.

Men who can’t or won’t connect are damaged goods and why would any woman want them…?

They are tedious children and not worth the effort, they need to grow up, get over themselves, be responsible or be without you…

Many women have lowered their standards and it is hurting all of society…

If more women held to high standards for themselves… more men would become better men….Agree or not?

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Your external appearance is a direct reflection of …

???????????????????????????????who you are internally. It’s genetics up to a certain point, then after that, it’s attitude, lifestyle, and mind set.

Haven’t you met people who are young, but seem, act and look, like they are many years older than they are? There is no energy in their smile, their gait or their expression. Their choice of clothing is inappropriate, old and dowdy.

Then there are others who are older, but are full of life, energy and appear much younger than their actual years. Their body is fit and they dress stylishly and youthfully.

We have so much available to us…working out, nutrition, vitamin and mineral supplements, plastic surgery, botox, collagen, all kinds of fillers to keep aging at bay and to enhance appearance.

But I have seen people who have had much in enhancement and still have little energy or life. So, beauty enhancements only do their duty, if the internal life is in equal parts and up to the challenge.

It’s the mind set, the heart, the life stream, the connection to the source, the purity, the inspiration of the spirit, values, standards and the goodness of an individual that shines through the eyes, reflects in the glow of their skin and is expressed in their smile. And no doctor or beauty treatment can give anyone this as it comes from the life force of their soul.

A person who overstuffs their body with junk food and chemicals will have a sluggish, bloated, puffed up body. A person who stuffs their mind and soul with negativity and wrong doing, be it in their thoughts, their actions and behaviors, as in lost of respect for self, regarding sex, or other addictions, along with the people that they surround themselves with, will have this reflected in their outward appearance. They may be able to ‘get away’ with it in their youth, but as they grow in years, it is revealed and shows. You know the saying, “You eventually get the face that you deserve”.

The choices that we make concerning what we put into our body and our mind, as well as what we wear, beauty treatments and everything else, reflect who we are in our appearance. When you care about your internal well-being, you will care about your external appearance. You will nourish your body and mind with good things and will present yourself externally in the best light and do things to maintain your appearance out of the pride in your being. Pride and caring for yourself is healthy. Who you are is a gift from God… cherish and care for yourself well.

“Beauty is as beauty does.”… has many layers to its meaning…

What do you do to ensure your youthful energy will stay as long as possible? And do you appear on the outside as you feel on the inside?