Category Archives: Women In Real Life

The story of Echo and Narcissus…. What is narcissism actually?

Do you use this much over-used word of the day to accuse/insult even categorize others  that you view with having certain traits? In Greek Mythology –  which is where this personality disorder of Narcissism derives. The story goes –    there was a wood nymph named Echo who loved to talk. For some reason, she displeased the gods, so they put a curse on her  which was – that all she was able to do was to repeat  what she heard – that which others said to her, back to them.

Echo was in love with a young warrior named Narcissus – who also displeased the gods – so they put a curse on him –   which was – that when he was looking into a lake, he would fall in love with his own reflection – able to love nothing else.   Who knows what these two did to displease the gods- but the gods back then seemed to be easily displeased and also curse happy.

Hence the personality ‘disorder’ of Narcissism began and was created. BUT did you notice and realize that Narcissus fell in love with his ‘image’ – not who he really was – BIG DIFFERENCE! Then as the story goes, Echo who loved Narcissus couldn’t let him know that she loved him because she could only repeat what he said back to her. Therefore, Narcissus never knew how much Echo loved him. Therefore, Narcissist was doomed to love only the image that the world saw of him – he couldn’t really love himself or Echo. He lived a life obsessed with his ‘image.’   Not the way he actually looked or was, but the ‘image’ that he created and was seen for by the world. His image was everything to him because he could not genuinely understand or love self.  Narcissus means numbness in Greek. He was empty/numb inside  with no true feelings and all about his image. He had no ability to genuinely feel – internally he was void – so he ‘acted’ what he thought was appropriate by observing others.

Echo loved him, but had no way to let him know – therefore, Narcissus could feel no love or emotion  from her. Two truly cursed people. Since relationships are our biggest teachers – these two were stuck in being alone and unable to relate. They were emotionally numb and void.

Narcissism is not about taking selfies or focusing on looks, but that could be one  minor trait. Narcissists more often than not do not like their looks or their self – especially their inner self –  they are all about ‘image’. They are emotionally numb, empty and lost souls.

Narcissism is an inability to feel empathy –  being all about the wants needs of self for their self-image –  not caring, giving to,  or thinking much about anyone else, unless they can enhance or add to their image. It’s an empty internal existence. It an existence all about ‘me, myself & I’ – full of pain and they often fall into narcissistic depression.

The Narcissistic Relationship

It’s easy to fall in love with narcissists. Don’t judge yourself for succumbing because research shows that strangers’ initial impressions of narcissists for the first seven meetings are positive. They’re seen as charming, agreeable, confident, open, well-adjusted and entertaining. Their alluring performance is designed to win trust and love, implicitly promising that their attentiveness will continue. Only later, did the research subjects see through the narcissists’ likable façade. Covert narcissists are even more disarming – because their outward image is that of kind, caring, helpful and without the usual grandiose narcissist displays – they are more subtle and obviously ‘covert’. They can quickly pull on their target’s heart strings of caring for, and protection of.

Difficulties and conflict arise in longer narcissistic relationships. At home, narcissists may privately denigrate the person they were just publicly entertaining, and after a romantic prelude, they act totally different. Once you’re hooked, they lack the motivation to maintain a charismatic façade. As the excitement of romance wanes, narcissists become disappointed in their partner. Their criticisms escalate and they may act distant and dismissive. The relationship revolves around the narcissist, while others are viewed merely as objects to use in order to manage the narcissist’s needs and fragile even empty self-esteem. Embarrassed partners watch their mate flirt with a cashier, cut to the front of the line, or castigate a clerk or waitress. They must contend with demands, judgments, and self-centeredness. They’re expected to appreciate the narcissist’s specialness, meet his or her needs for admiration, service, love, or purchases when needed — and are dismissed when they don’t.

Narcissists put themselves first, and their codependent partners concur. Both agree that the narcissist is great and that his or her mate isn’t as great and should sacrifice! This makes their relationship work … in the beginning that is. Eventually, the partner feels drained, hurt, resentful, disrespected, and lonely.

The children and partners of narcissists share Echo’s experience of feeling rejected, invisible and unheard. They long to be seen, to have their needs met, and their love returned. Many partners of narcissists sadly pine away for years longing to feel respected, important, appreciated, and cared about. Their self-esteem suffers over time. They risk turning into empty shells of their former selves. Narcissists suffer, too, because they’re never satisfied. Even though Narcissus and Echo both long for love, Narcissus can neither give love, nor receive the love Echo offers.

If you can’t feel emotions, you are the walking dead, trying to fit in as a human, but actually are a walking zombie.

Learn how to identify and process your feelings, emotions, imprints and beliefs. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other usual places.

Social Norming…

People assume then come to believe that a behavior is ‘normal’, the more they are exposed to it even if it’s bad/negative, immoral, or detrimental to their life – mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

It’s the affect/effect of hearing and seeing something repeatedly – it becomes ‘imprinted’ upon/in an individual’s mind and they may even carry it in their innate energy to forever change them.

Children from 0 – 7 are the most impressionable – followed by teenagers and young adults. This is why advertisers and those wishing to brainwash, focus on these age groups. Repetition of propaganda imprints people and has the possibility to change who a person naturally is – to even hate themselves and their life and what they believe –  as that may be the very goal. Once a person hates themselves then they are easily manipulated to do as directed by government – advertisers – self-serving interest groups – the medical and health fields,etc. because they have been made weak, easy to manipulate and more willing to give their self-identity and self-authority over to others.

People who have been fractured – have been abused – have never developed a strong self-identity – whose boundaries have been crossed and negated – are uneducated – ignorant of facts – who feel lost and like they do not fit into society, or perhaps, even to be on earth –  and some don’t even feel like they fit in their body that God created for them – fall prey to ‘Social Norming’ more easily than a self-confident – emotionally intelligent , self-aware and secure person with clear mental, physical and emotional boundaries.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Family makes a big difference in the security of an individual – that a mother and father are both present – that a family unit is intact.  Education that teaches an individual to think instead of brainwashing for agenda – religious/spiritual training and education that stresses the Ten Commandments – that an individual spends time reading instead of mostly watching agenda-filled TV programs, movies and listening to soul destroying music full of negative messages and words; such as rap some rock, etc. The energy in music can either lift a soul up or tear it down. Music carries a vibration and can be very harmful to body, mind and spirit when discordant and disruptive vibrations are listened to and felt too often.

Sexuality is being introduced to children way too soon  and this is to pervert the child – have the child indulging in sexual activities before they even realize, or understand what it is. Sex is sacred and to introduce a child to it too soon is to pervert the child – crossing the sexual boundaries of a child is a sin and it weakens them to be further taken advantage of.

Leviticus 19:29 – Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.

We as a society need protect our children from viewing violence, sexuality and other forms of depravity .


Matthew 18:6 – But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.


3 John 1:4 – I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
Then comes the ‘political correct’ censorship to stop people from sharing their true and real thoughts. To fit in, you must speak and write the ‘accepted’ way or for example, you will be put in Facebook jail – or called a racist or homophobe, etc.

It’s all part of Social Norming…  to make the masses think, act and live as they are directed by those who will benefit from them doing so.

It’s the tearing down of society – the tearing down of morality, standards, values, health – mental, emotional and physical.  The drug companies and  medical field make tons of profits pushing drugs and tests, etc. Do we really need all these drugs or preventive tests? People need use their natural instincts to decide, instead of giving their power completely over to a ‘Doctor’. The Social Norming’s purpose is to override natural God-given instincts to make the person easy to manipulate and control. So pretty soon, ‘everything’ will be decided by the government, the drug companies, medical institutions, etc. – with the individual forced to go along with the ‘norm’.

Common sense, individual instincts, the ability to think – reason, morality, manners are falling to the wayside as  government control and the ‘facade’ of individuality takes over. Individuality is being pushed but it’s a false front for – you must accept everything even that which you detest in order to be ‘politically correct’. Therefore, in truth – your rights, freedoms and individuality are being hijacked by Social Norming.

We have a right to think as we choose and to like what we like and to not like what we don’t like. And we also have the right  to express as such. Taking that right away, unless you conform to Social Norming is nothing but complete control of your mind, body and eventually your soul. And that is what EVIL wants – complete control.
Good/GOD wants you free to choose… But the Social Norming is trying to get rid of God/Christ – freedom to choose – from society – to mesh us all into what ‘they’ want us to think, believe and worship. Social Norming wants us to worship government, to do as advertisers direct especially the drug companies and to turn away from family  and traditional male/female relationships bonding and commitment into sexual perversion, depravity, loss of morality, etc. Where our boundaries are crossed and broken to form a mass collective easily controlled by a few – the agenda of the progressive/globalist NWO. Social Norming is a capturing of souls – a true and certain hell on earth.

For awareness: Read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and on this website to become aware of how imprints are instilled – including a process to assist in releasing them. Self-reflection is key to awareness and freedom.

The face of the Democrat/socialist/progressive party – the victim…

Image result for Photos of Christine Blasey FordDemocrat party is the party of victims, weak women – weaker men…

The democratic party – the party of man haters, women who hate men, think they are all liars and should die – especially, if they are old and white.
Actually – the lib/dem/progressive women, I do know and that’s very few – really do hate men and, or have children by them – never married them and the men do not take care of their children. Ummmm – I wonder could the women’s choices have created this and their hate of men – or is it actually their hate of self? Even the cool gay men I know are Conservatives, and of course, they love men, and women. Women – not so much – except for make-up. fashion tips, emoting and gossip. So that it’s the Dem Party – a party of man hating women and of course, those who are gay. Is Pocahontas gay? Does she hate men? We know Killery uses them or murders them and prefers women – wasn’t there a big ‘to do’ that she had a ‘thing’ with Okko Ono?

I have been a victim of sexual harassment – I addressed it immediately – took the man to court – he settled with me – I am not a victim. I addressed it – then released it and all the negativity that it carried from me. I am a strong Conservative Christian woman.

To remain a victim is to remain a fool – to remain tormented – wallowing in self-pity – eaten up with pain rather it be lies/fake/ or real – it’s a form of self-torment. It blocks happiness, joy  and the feminine glow from your face and body. The opposite of what ‘feminism’ is ‘supposed’ to stand for and be.

To allow others to victimize you – you are a fool – and not living in your power.  Isn’t that what the ‘feminist’  movement is ‘supposed’ to be about –  feminine power – equality – equal pay for equal work, etc. Instead, what I see is it  being  used as a victim movement.

I AM NOT A FEMINIST! I am an internally strong woman – processing life experiences and events  as they come and go in my life – then choosing what to keep and what to let go off.

In Part Four of my book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – is a process explaining how to identify your feelings  related to imprints and beliefs and how to process through them – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual places.  Someone please – get this book to Blasey-Ford –

tImage result for Photos of Christine Blasey Fordhe big pathetic victim face of Dem/lib/progressive victims… whiny child voice so obnoxious – it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Democrat – the victim party!They live as victims, create and use victims for, and to implement their agenda of control. They divide to conquer for their agenda. They create victims – want to keep them  as victims  in order to use the hell out of them – blame, blame blame others – side step, lie, deflect, avoid responsibility – say you’re a strong woman while behaving like a weak whiny child…. and all those big bad white men did it.. BOO HOOO HOO!

Makes sense, doesn’t it that Obama was the first VICTIM president.

Life is drama! Drama is life!

“I don’t want any drama in my life.” This blind and mostly idiotic statement is often used by people who want to minimize their partner’s legitimate concerns – or who are uncomfortable – even fearful of addressing and expressing their own emotions and feelings. Perhaps, because it is too painful for them to do so. Being thus, they are uncomfortable when observing others express theirs.  While, for example – they watch movies to experience ‘orchestrated’ drama and sports events to experience the highs and lows of winning and losing.

The word ‘drama’ – used in the context of, “I don’t want any drama in my life’ is actually an inappropriate use of this word.

What is drama? In the arts – there are five parts to drama – plot – character – thought/ action – music and spectacle.

In literature, it is comprised of comedy – satyr – and tragedy.

So in life, if you don’t want drama – does that mean, you don’t want passion in sex, excitement and emotion while watching sports, or feelings and emotions while experiencing beautiful or engaging music or art?

Drama comprises everything in life – not just when someone says it’s okay to feel or experience it.

The drama in life is what makes life worth living! It is the humor – tragedy – pain – joy – sadness, happiness, etc. In life, we are meant to experience all emotions  – that is why we have them – as they are triggered by people and life events. Life is  comprised of drama. If you try to avoid the drama then you are avoiding life and ultimately yourself- actually it’s even a kind of denial of your soul.

We are on earth to experience the drama of our feelings and emotions both the so-deemed good and the deemed not so good.  So, if you believe that you don’t want drama in your life – think again.  Do you want a lifeless, emotionless partner? Do you want a lifeless, emotionless life? Along with the good, comes the so-called bad…. when actually, it’s all good – it’s LIFE! The polarity of the ups and downs are what create the tension in life that keeps us energized.

If you are afraid of drama then you are afraid of life and living fully. If you don’t want drama then perhaps, you are afraid  and living in fear of your own feelings and emotions – especially that of feeling your internal pain. You are afraid of feelings – of truly living – to the depths of pain to the highs of joy. If you avoid pain – you will have less, perhaps even little chance of feeling joy.

Oftentimes, those who state, “I want no drama in my life.” Are the ones who actually create the drama in their life and in others. They very well could be passive/ aggressive – as they say and do things to trigger situations and emotional reactions. Then when the situation escalates or the person reacts – they stand back and point their finger away from self – as they state, “Look at how dramatic you are. I don’t want drama in my life.” Then they turn away – thinking they are superior in some way, since they don’t want and don’t think they have drama in their lives. When actually, it’s out of their denial that created the drama in the first place, but they want/will take no responsibility for their words or actions – the very words or actions that created the drama. They project their need for drama onto others to be acted out before them – since and because they can’t acknowledge it in self, or they have a deep fear of expressing their own feelings and emotions. So, if you have lots of drama in your life and don’t like it – how about looking at yourself to understand why.

It could be that their family of origin didn’t share personal feelings and if this person did, they were criticized for having them, told they were wrong, or even ignored and negated. Therefore, they  shut down and learned to related in a stunted and toxic manner- creating and projecting drama onto others – while stating that they don’t want it.

People like this are full of suppressed feelings and emotion –  they are stunted, stuck and may not have been taught by example or otherwise, how to express and process their internal feelings and emotions. They are fearful to walk into their own pain – so they try to keep it outside themselves.  But to live fully and gloriously – you will experience all the levels of drama. It’s the motor that keeps life alive and worth living. Of course, there is a spectrum of drama – so it’s all about living in balance. So for God’s sake – for your sake – live – feel – emote as appropriate – live in the truth and freedom of your emotional and intellectual self, so you will not be tempted to stunt yourself with addictions.  So, you will not harm yourself and others – so you will live free and at choice.

DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR -memoir/self-help – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual online places. In Part Four are tools to assist the reader in finding and identifying their feelings and  emotions then explains a way to process and release the negative beliefs and limiting imprints. Release the negative so you can experience it all – facing the pain can burst you open to joy. It’s the divine process of really living and genuinely feeling so you can arrive back at peace, love, and joy!

Those moments and times of perfection…

…how  wonderful and fleeting they are. You know those moments and times when the house is clean – all errands done – everything is calm and peaceful in your world as you sit in bed sipping iced coffee in calm – talking to loved ones – etc.  Or cooking, as you  create a meal for those whom you love while sipping wine – sharing and talking . Or after a vigorous workout when your physical, mental, and emotional bodies are drained and cleansed  with endorphins flowing. Or after making love to the person you love laying peacefully together. – eyes meeting – skin touching breathing in sync.  Or watching a sunset – walking beside the ocean as the waves pull in and out.  Sliding into clean fresh sheets after a long day or getting out of a warm shower – wrapping a big soft towel around you – all clean and relaxed. It’s peace. It’s calm. It’s goodness, happiness and  complete joy all wrapped into one! It’s Heaven on earth. These are some of the kind of moments that  are perfection to me.

We all have our variations of the perfect moments in time.  Those moments that ‘still us’ into what it means to be truly happy, peaceful and content. Those moments for the most of us have to do with people – the giving, loving and sharing, our communication of self and gifts of self to others.

Then the world shifts – something breaks – the car – the dishwasher – there are more errands to do – things to clean and wash – irritating even horrible news about something happening in the world, a tooth aches, tummy hurts  and the moments and time of perfection  seem to fade way even to cease – as a seemingly irritating kind of hell emerges –  as we do what is needed to  try to make our way back to that place of peaceful wonderful.

We live on a planet of dualities – good and evil – nothing stays the same – it shifts and moves from pleasant to troubling – perfection to irritating – it always has and always will. And realize it or not – this is a positive thing – this shifting and changing from peace to turmoil is what keeps us striving for more of the perfection of the peaceful good. Striving for the good – those moments in time of perfection – can be a wonderful stimulus for experience, learning, growth and change. So actually, it’s all good – all  in the perfection of God’s earth. Therefore, love your peaceful perfection as well as  the perfection of your irritating, struggle, challenging and striving turmoil. I know and  well understand, easy to say when all is well, and not so easy when all is out of whack and in turmoil. Never the less, try to recall  and know – because this too soon will pass — Our perfect moments help us to keep on going through the irritations, pain – hell. And our challenging times help us to be grateful for the times when we are in joy and bliss – our individual Heaven on earth.

It’s all as God planned it – just for you. It’s why we are here on earth.  A book to read for awareness, processing and healing as we travel through this challenging and wonderful life. It’s available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble – all the usual places and also available on the front of this site.

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1532879066&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air 

Satan uses PC to manipulate and pervert…

creating the atmosphere for good to be deemed evil and evil to be deemed as good.

Satan is the master of illusion – delusion, projection, manipulation and confusion.  The nature of ‘political correctness’ is not to call out something that which it actually is – in order to not offend. What this has led to is calling  evil good – so as not to offend evil and that which is perverted, banal,  lies, corrupted and of sin. So that the perverted, sinning, corrupted evil will not feel badly about itself concerning the evil they are doing or the lifestyle they have chosen to live. Because, oh my gosh! We wouldn’t want to hurt the feelings of sin and evil that would be such a horrible thing to do. Good can’t ‘judge’ evil that would be so politically incorrect.  So instead, we don’t call it out for what it is, and either ignore it or deem it acceptable as we suppress that which is of good. Having good hang its head in shame for deeming evil for exactly what it is.

When good does call it out for exactly what is is – sin, evil and wrong, evil will point the finger back at good and loudly over shout – calling good a hater –  along with statements such as “Don’t judge me!” You see, evil must shout louder, be more seductive, offer more goodies and treats to those who succumb to its enticements. Evil will blocks and censors good – anything to shut good up – so evil won’t be called out and have to look at self and be held accountable for its evil deeds of corruption and destruction. You see, it’s much more difficult to be good than it is to be evil. Or so it seems – but actually goodness, internal peace and happiness go hand in hand. And this is something that irritates the hell out of evil…

So evil projects itself onto good to try and shut it up. Clever nasty evil knows what it’s doing. While good is being the good, not wanting to hurt feelings, many times will keep quiet or shut up – in order to be ‘politically correct’. You see evil is manipulative and cunning, While good is straight forward and working always on being good – evil is plotting and planning how to corrupt good for the benefit of evil.

One perfect example of evil projection are the Clintons:

Just look at this quote from Hillary. She is a liar and she pretends to be something she is not – yet she is stating that this is what the American people are doing.

Trump on the other hand just blurts the truth of what he sees  and feels right out. He knows he’s not a perfect man and  doesn’t pretend that he is and is not afraid to show who he is or to throw it in the face of evil.  And the evil corrupted media and those on the side of creating the ‘image’ – behind which lies delusions and illusion for the gain of evil and perversion – go wild with projection.  Evil hates good. Good understands the weakness of evil – and that weakness is being called out for what it is. Evil loves a fake image and a facade to hide its evil deeds and doings behind.

Good is choice. Evil is of control. Good is truth no matter what the truth might be or how difficult it might be to hear and know. Evil is lies, cover ups and facades. Good is continually looking at self to reevaluate and refine self and isn’t afraid of truth. Evil runs and hides from truth. Truth scares the hell out of evil! Hence the creation of political correctness. 

Evil  creates the environment where truth cannot be revealed much less told, where evil and perversion cannot be called out for what it is. It creates a playground of confusion – a marring of the lines between good and evil and it’s in this atmosphere evil is able to sneak in and tighten its grip on the innocent, the youth and to corrupt the souls of the weak, lost and wandering.

Leviathan is the devil of deceit, corruption and confusion. It’s tries to create a fog of confusions around everything and this is the time in which we are living in.  The corrupted media along with political correctness are Leviathan’s sharpest tools.

Good must STOP evil in its tracks! Throw political correctness to the four winds. Call out that which is evil, corrupt, perverted and manipulative – deeming it exactly what it is! Why should ‘good’ care if it hurts evil’s feelings? Evil has no empathy or feelings of care for the good. Evil wants the good to be corrupted then destroyed. Evil is happy when it corrupts an innocent child into sexual exploitation or perversion, Evil is happy when it addicts human beings to substances that harm the body, mind and soul. Evil is happy when it sucks resources and money from those who work hard for it. Evil is happiest when it gathers more souls into its lair of pain, depression and despair. Evil loves company.

I I say PC needs to die and evil needs to be left alone to wallow in its pain and isolation.

 

The Grass Is Greener….

Really? Are you so sure about that? We all have the tendency, at times to think the grass is greener in someone else’s life or that if we could only have this, do that, achieve thus and so – then our life would be wonderful and we will have ‘arrived’! Really? Arrived – where?  Anywhere you go – there you will be. And do you really think having that car, purse, or dress, etc. will change who you are or make a difference in who you are or how you feel about yourself – for long? Whatever you put on your body – you are still yourself inside.

Have you ever envied someone else’s life, only to realize when you get to know them  –  Whoa! I am so glad I am me and not them.

Appreciating who you are, where you are and what you have is the greatest awareness. It’s called acceptance, peace, happiness and inner joy.  It’s called  being in the moment – being in present time – and that is  the real gift – the ‘present’.  You are where you are in any given time for a divine purpose and reason. It’s your life in that moment of time to fully feel and to enjoy.

This does not mean that you stop trying to achieve, grow, do and have, but that you be in the moment, satisfied and appreciating of all that you have and where you are in that particular time – in the now.  Life can always change for the good, or for the worst – in an instant. If you aren’t able to experience the joy in and of the moment then you will not be able to feel fully satiated no matter what you have, do or gain – you will always feel lack. longing and wanting of more or something else to try and fill up the empty hole that you have inside yourself.  You will always be thinking the ‘grass is greener’. A person who does this is not able to settle into peace with self.

Things don’t give you peace. Things don’t/won’t fulfill you for long – they will always leave you wanting for more, different or newer.

Someone who can’t feel settled in self is always thinking that the ‘grass is greener’.  That there is something out there somewhere that they need, just must have in order to feel ‘okay’, or better about themselves. They can’t, – are unable to settle into peace, appreciation and joy because they are too busy being on the prowl looking for something else to fill them up.

Not being able to settle in self may  actually cause them to  lose all that they do have  – to be lost – never to be realized again.  As in a man who cheats on their spouse, ‘thinking’ the pretty little thing that caught their eye is what they ‘must’ have to feel happy and content,  only to lose everything that means any and everything in the world to them – then to realize  that pretty little thing is nothing much at all – just a momentary shiny new thing.

Those who  are always looking for the next shiny thing – end up going through lots of tinsel… without  ever holding onto  or having a real diamond in their hands for long –  because they may drop the diamond to chase the tinsel.

Those who think the ‘grass is greener’ have  little to no balance in their lives.  They are in a pattern of dismissing & diminishing what it is that they do have – no matter how great it actually may be. – they can’t see or appreciate it  because they are always on the search &   looking for more, next, another, or what they ‘think’ is  ‘better’ to fill up their empty soul. They do this because of their dissatisfaction with self.

Joy happens when you can appreciate and live in the moment. Joy is the awareness of the moment  and being in appreciation for all that you have – that what God has placed before you is yours – it’s your perfect place to be!

Did you ever stop to think that while you are thinking the ‘grass is greener’ that someone is looking at you – your life – your wife – your house – etc. and thinking the ‘grass is greener’ where you are?

Your life is ‘your’ gift from God – whatever – where ever – it may be or is. It’s yours. So appreciate the good and the bad – because it’s  all yours.

How about stating in this moment – I approve of myself. I am all that I ever thought I would or could be in this very moment.  I am blessed. Thank you God for all that I am, all that I have, all the lessons, all the trials, all the awareness, all that I have become and all that I will be.  If you can’t/don’t appreciate the moment without the wanting, even yearning for more – you will never experience contentment, peace and joy.

Then carry  forward  from that point – creating, learning, etc, while  making sure to appreciate what you are  and have in the now,  the people in your life etc. in this time frame.

For awareness … DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help 

on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and all the other usual places.

You were born  and placed exactly where you were meant to be. Your circumstances and experiences are perfect for you and who you are meant to become. It’s up to you to either break against or immerse yourself  – change – grow or become more – most importantly to become more aware. It’s your  life. This moment is yours! Be aware and be in joy!

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529383520&sr=8-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch   

Two-faced, smile to your face, talk about you behind your back…

Polite and nice to money. Rude otherwise and looks down upon, even shows disdain for those with less than, or in poverty.  Judges people by their car, house, clothes, etc.  instead of their character. They don’t even know what ‘character’ is  because they have none – so they can’t recognize it in others. Will do anything – lie, cheat, steal to achieve the image, position or appearance of control or power over others. Mistakes having power and things as greatness.

Say one thing then  they do another. Say words or act in ways to manipulate for their use or gain. Nice, courteous and kind to people when selling something – be it a service or a product but uncaring, dismissive even rude otherwise. try to extract value for self from people, places and things with no regard to what they might do to harm.

Men who tell  lies to get a woman into bed. Women who flirt and compliment to make an oaf feel like a king for her gain – doing so, only to manipulate and with ill-intent instead of worthy intentions.

I have observed and become more aware of  this kind of behavior in our world today. This is why, in my opinion there is so much depression, anxiety, addiction, harm to self and others. There is a lack of respect for our fellowman and  ultimately ourselves.

I am otherwise, I was taught otherwise and choose to live otherwise. My words and behaviors reveal who I am, not only to others but to myself.  My word is my honor and my bond. I can be counted on to do what I say, or I don’t say it. So many people these days cannot be counted on for anything much less their word.

What I do in private, matters as much as what I do in public. Of course, I have been known to say what I think – which means, I don’t lie to myself or others.  There are  these concepts called – truth – honesty –  responsibility and accountability.

I try to live by the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Do I lose it at times and mess up? Of course! But this serves me also,  to become more aware of my behaviors and how they may affect others including myself. It’s called ‘self-reflection’ and ‘self-awareness’. We won’t grow, if we don’t have both in our emotional and mental selves.

If we are not becoming more aware in our lives, then what is it we are actually doing? Accumulating stuff – screwing as many people as we can – and on multiple levels –  taking  instead of giving? Look into the eyes of people who have done this in their life even for their entire lives with little to no awareness.  Oh, then of course, some know exactly what they are doing and these are the evil ones. And these people  have dead eyes which reflect their internal selves

Look at the eyes and faces of the Clintons – they are perfect examples. Bill is only 71 and he looks as if he is 171. 

Today so many seem to live by the motto – ‘Screw others before they screw me’.  They will say  or promise thus and so and if they are lying or change their mind and it inconveniences or harms another — so what? Their motto is –  ‘It’s ‘me’ that matters, not them’. What value can I extract from another. They are all about self and this is why they are so internally twisted and unhappy, seeking any and every thing to numb out their torment and misery.

We have become in many ways a selfish, narcissistic society. And that is why so many are unhappy, turn to drugs, alcohol, stuff their selves with food, buy too many things, sit on the sofa watching TV or playing computer games, watching porn, having sex with people only for sex, stare at their phones – texting or surfing the internet even when in the company of others.  Living behind a facade of cars, clothes, fitness routines  – so concerned with ‘image’ – they forget  their internal/eternal self – when reality is – nothing is fit or right about them. Or  they may live in a fat, unkempt body, wearing ill-fitting sloppy clothing, lazy and slovenly  while, thinking nothing matters,  including their appearance, while being envious even hating those who appear they are ‘really together’ – but  who inside may be also dying.

There is a concept called balance – both  inside and outside. The inside will reflect on the outside in some manner or form.

Those who indulge in these behaviors ‘think’ they are putting something over on everyone  else, but what they are really doing is harming themselves, even going as far as to be rotting their soul. Who – they are conning – is themselves. They are choosing to live by no standards, disaplines or morals, but that of self-gratification and all this does is to make a person selfish, self-centered, internally alone, even though they may be surrounded by others – bloated and fat – possibly catch STDS for having sex with many – and because of selfish self-indulgences  they lose their ability to love and care for others and therefore, lose their own individual humanity, just for the purpose  and sake of their momentary attainment and  pleasure of fake power and things. Image is actually nothing. It’s the internal reality that matters.

When you are true to yourself is when you will be true to others. and this has to do with integrity in body, mind and spirit and this comes from continual awareness of self as it relates to others and your relationship with yourself. Self -awareness and self-reflection are keys to happiness.

A book to assist in awareness:

 https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1528307660&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+Throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

 

Censorship and bullying of conservatives by …

Facebook. Image result for photos of mark zuckerberg testifying

On FB lib/dem/progressives post horrible things about President Trump, our First Lady, members of the first family, etc.  And nothing is done. But if a conservative posts their opinion about Michelle and Barack Obama,  the Clintons and the way lib/dem/progressives  act and think they are censored and put into FB jail. This is unAmerican. It’s against First Amendment Rights and FB does this all the time.

Zuckerberg states that he created this platform for people to connect – well, it appears only if you think and post as the Facebook regime agenda allows you to.  FB is a socialist/communist/progressive site under the’guise’ of getting people to connect.  Actually, it is a site to implement their agenda, to brainwash and try, even force those who think differently to change and adapt to their bullying and censorship or be kicked off.

Here is the exact post I was put into FB censorship jail for 30 days:

Ayn Dillard

“Think of the progressive/dem/lib platform.. tear down and change for their use and gain from that which they envy and can’t be or become.That is a real hater – then they deem everyone else haters.. I have never seen or experienced such hate as when Obomo was in his tear down mode of America and all moral values. Africa is always having some civil war – gangs are always fighting.. that is how those of that ilk move through life.. Look at what Moooo is out saying now.. that she is the ‘forever’ first lady.. that is obscene and is how a dictator thinks and talks.. Obomo and Mooo are a stain on America. They are both evil and evil in their intent.. They are un- Amercan and should be arrested, imprisoned, executed or exiled with all resources taken – Same with Clintons – they all sucked money off the American people.. They are destroyers and takers.. the real ‘haters’ .”
This is how most all conservatives think. This post  was liked and shared repeatedly on FB. So FB decided to take it down and put me in their censorship jail for writing my opinion and what is actually truth. While at the same time, I get continual emails from FB asking me to promote articles and posts that are doing well – even for this same post I am put in jail for.

Hillary – the eternal victim…

Hillary played/plays the role of victim her whole life.

She tried to blame others – as in the ”great right-wing conspiracy” for the reason her husband, Bill Clinton, was outed for his sexual escapades – but oops!  His sexual crimes against women were/are true. BLAMING  and LYING were her tools used at that time, in order to play the victim. VICTIMS BLAME OTHERS FOR THEIR PROBLEMS IN LIFE.  They don’t  accept responsibility – they blame, project, lie and deflect! Hillary is a master at this.

The poor victim, Hillary, stayed with Bill during and after his sexual escapades were outed – with her complete and full knowledge of – so she could try to become the first woman president riding on his political coat tails.  BUT she failed at being elected president, not only once, but twice. The ceiling Hillary has busted through is being the biggest VICTIM on the planet – while truthfully it’s all her fault that she is such. She writes books about her victim position – asking WHY? WHY? WHY? She blames everyone and everything else – but not herself – as she lies, blames, manipulates and deflects.

She could have divorced  Bill and continued life on her own  taking responsibility making her a brave, strong, self-sufficient woman. Instead, she stayed with Bill and sucked off the American people even creating a ‘foundation’ which kept/keeps most the money for themselves and their over-the-top affluent lifestyle – as they con, manipulate, and suck off anyone they can find. The pretense is a bit of good which hides much deception, evil and greed – to feed and justify their victim mentality. She creates victims and preys on victims. She thinks she is a victim.

After Hillary lost the presidency, she could have gracefully accepted the outcome. Displaying responsibility  honor, integrity and grace (which we know from her previous behaviors, she carries none of these attributes in her psychological make-up.) Hillary’s psychological make-up is that of a victim to stay whining, blaming, deflecting, lying and manipulating  in order to stay in  the forefront and  she will not stop or go away. She will do anything even murder.

Victims never accept responsibility. Instead, they hide and dodge. Hillary has helped to create a herd of victim women followers who  follow her lead as they whine, blame, deflect and even wear pink vagina costumes. – looking not only the victims but the fools!

Victims are the greatest stealers of everyone’s energy – they want the whole world to feel pity and sorry for them – as they try to gain, take or steal any and every thing  they want or ‘think’ that they need to feel better about what they ‘think’and ‘interpret’ is their ‘victim’ status in life. Victims suck the life out of the room and everyone who surrounds them.  Their goal is pity as they seek even demand ‘power’ over others to give them undeserved gains on many levels.

Hillary promotes ‘women’s rights and equality’, while she lives  her life the exact opposite. She stayed with a womanizer, rapist, cheater and blamed the women who called him out for what he did. The women standing up to Bill Clinton were/are the strong ones – not Hillary.

Hillary Clinton is a self-made victim. Her personality is VICTIM! Everything that comes out of her mouth is victim driven.  Those who wear the cloak of victim try to use it  for their gain. They are actually weak, immoral, corrupted in their soul – real losers. Hillary Clinton is a self-made/created victim sucking off America and the whole world. Hillary is on a constant and continual victim tour. 

It would serve Hillary and her victim followers to read – 

Challenges, problems, losses, pain, disappointments help a person grow, become stronger, develop new skills and most importantly become aware. Without all these, there would be no growth. We are on the planet of dualities – good and evil. There will be challenges, problems and pain. It’s how a person handles issues in life that make them who they are – either to rise up, become aware, develop character, strength and knowledge, or to fall into being a victim, stuck in negativity, limiting imprints and negative emotions that block their growth, awareness and ultimately their happiness and peace. Victims easily fall into addictions and the repeating of WHY? WHY? WHY ME?!

https://blog.womenexplode.com/2018/02/why-so-much-anxiety-depression-mental-illness-addictions/

So deemed ‘bad’ things happen to us all. It’s how we process them that make us either a victim or a strong, healed, self-actualize person. To assist to shift your awareness out of victim status — order. 

Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1522603193&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+Throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch