Category Archives: Women In Real Life

Love is for the brave, not the weak. What is genuine love?

It’s hard to love someone through the ups and downs, the good, bad and ugly and that is why commitment is required. It’s difficult and makes one feel vulnerable to allow someone to see all sides, the dark, the bad, the fears, etc. instead of only the good, the better, the ‘image’, etc.  – that is why commitment is important, even required.
When things get hard, it’s easy to exit and be onto someone who will see you with fresh eyes and that you can fool for awhile into thinking that you are such a good, nice, kind, successful person, etc. – whatever your persona or whichever way it is that you ‘need’ to view yourself and, or to be viewed to feel ‘okay’ about yourself and to keep your image in tact.

Some weak, insecure people can’t/don’t genuinely love and commit because they are fearful of their wounds, their weaknesses being revealed and seen because they then would need to address, heal and correct them to become more whole, in order to feel that they are worthy to self and another. As long as they can keep those things hidden and what they ‘think’ is out of sight, they ‘feel’ that they are ‘okay’ – when they really aren’t. Facing your wounds, your issues can be painful and it’s the brave who do so. Love is for the brave, not the weak.

The challenge of the love relationship and life is when others see who you really are and when you see who they really are – all their different sides and you still love one another through thick and thin.  That is what love is – that is what commitment is. That is why the vows of marriage are as they are – for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, good times and not so good, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, along with ‘let no one put asunder’.

It’s easy to love when everything is perfect – not so easy when it isn’t, but the genuine enduring fulfillment comes when a couple goes through the thick and thin of life together.  Vows of a love relationship are not – ‘I will love you, until I see that you aren’t perfect, we have troubles, or you get sick, or  when you might see the real me and leave me.’

The benefit of love is that it challenges both individuals to become their best, to heal their wounds, address their issues, by rubbing their souls against one another for the benefit of both. Love is the most clear and profound mirror you will ever have.
There are some fatal flaws that which are if an individual is too weak or ignorant to address and that another can’t abide, until awareness, healing and change occurs  – as in cheating, addictions, or abuse, etc. 

Only if you tell someone that you love them, but can’t love them through their worse place, time or situation, or when they behave their worst, then what is your love worth? Not much. The times when people behave their worst is when they need love the most. Actually, it may be a cry out for love. Sometimes, it might need to be tough love.
Relationship is ultimately for healing of the individual soul and also together as the whole – a commitment of support, care and nurturing. It’s not for sucking off the good times, the sexual energy, the beauty, the allure, the excitement as in the beginning of romance, or the success, or exploitation of everything you can get, until or before you are seen for who and what you are – then off you go to find fresh prey.  Love is for giving, not what you can get. It’s a circle of giving and receiving – not always equal at times, but it will work out for the well-being of both in the long range, when and if both are committed.

Love is not for quitters, losers, the weak, or fair-weather friends. It’s for the winners, healers, tenacious, aware, strong, brave, etc,   It’s not a sprint. It’s a long distance run.  It’s the most genuine fulfilling place on earth to be and the only thing that lasts through eternity. People in love, oftentimes live longer and stay in better health. And the glow and commitment that can be seen in the faces and energy of those who have made this journey together are palatable as it’s an energy that emits a glow that heals not only themselves, but others and out into the world.

Tools to assist in awareness with opportunity for healing – DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. Male/female the most powerful connection/attraction on earth – created differently for respective individual purposes, but equal.

Can insecure fearful people…

love another for genuine reasons?

Insecure fearful people are overly focused on self and what they lack and what they are trying to gain in order to feel better about themselves. So can they genuinely care for or love another? They are most always looking to fill themselves up in some way, instead of giving to another and to, at times be able to fill another up.
Love is about what you give, not what you take.When an insecure fearful person does give, they most always have a need, even must feel like they have some kind of gain or reward in it for themselves, or it isn’t worth it to them.  When, or if an insecure taker does give, they are more concerned that others see what they did and that they get approval and applause for their giving, rather than to be focused on just the pure pleasure of giving to another. Their innate insecurity creates an inner need to make everything about themselves. Many times, their insecurity leads them to be controlling of others.

Momentary pleasure with a temporary feeling of security are only when they gain something or feel good about themselves – so they can pat their needy little selves on the back.  They suck off the energy of others to get through their miserably dark and lacking life, instead of dealing with their inner turmoil, issues and feelings of insecurity. They may even appear egotistical in their words and behaviors to cover-up for their innate insecurity.

They attract to beauty, money, success, status and things that they ‘think’ will rub off on them and give them a brighter facade or image – in order to build up their insecure ego. 

In a love relationship – there will be a circle of giving and receiving and at times, one may need more than the other because of life circumstances, etc. – but when, or if one begins to feel drained, used and taken for granted – in ‘aware’ love, the other will sense this and connect with them in comforting love – as in hugging, touching, nurturing, or a look in the eyes. But an insecure, needy, self-serving, selfish person will rarely if ever recognize need or lack in another, unless, it serves their self-interest to do so – as in they will gain attention, prestige, sex, gifts, money, or reward of some sort, etc.

Example: in relationship – you can handle their moods and issues, but they can’t handle yours. And not only that, they ‘expect’ you to handle theirs, and will feel put upon whenever there is a need for them to handle your emotions or moods.
Think the woman who can’t stand it when her husband shows weakness in some area – or the man who negates his tired wife’s need for rest and attention. These people are so overly about having their own needs met through the other, than to truly care for and love the other – with little ability to see, recognize the other person as separate, with their own issues, needs and pain.

If your well-being is overly tied to your partner, you will be internally that of a needy child.
On the flip side, if your partner can’t have a melt down with your support  and understanding then you are not  being there for them – but are there only for your selfish-self and childish needs.  If you expect your partner to be perfect in your eyes and out in the world at all times – think of the pressure you are putting on them. Relationship is a place where you can rest and be rejuvenated, to feel and  know that you will be comforted and cared for when you are not at your best.  It is a place to sustain you when you are down and to lift you up.

If you are too insecure and weak to face your issues and pain, you will deflect and project them onto another – trying to make something wrong about them, in order to make yourself feel better about you. 

Love is a combination of acceptance of another, while having self- awareness and growth at the same time.

There are individual fatal flaws that make relationship impossible as in – cheating, addictions, lack of genuine commitment, need to escape at any sign of stress or conflict, inability to have empathy as in seeing your partner’s side of the situation with understanding. If a person is addicted to anything then their relationship is with the addiction instead of their partner –  that addiction may be alcohol, drugs, food, TV, porn, parental approval whether parent be dead or alive, and material things such as collections, etc.
Relationship is for giving, receiving and ultimately healing and growth both individually and together to equal balance in self and in one another. It takes much self-awareness and a mature openness in both  individuals to merge with another in genuine love and commitment. Otherwise, it’s just playing, like a child does and becomes a game to see who can take and get their needs met in spite of the  needs of the other.

In today’s world, there is much narcissism, selfishness, materialism, self-centeredness, lack of commitment, immorality, inability to self-reflect, lack of ability to look at self in genuine awareness. And because of this lack there are many unhappy, depressed, anxiety-ridden, addicted even tormented people. Immaturity is rampant. Accountability and responsibility are lacking.

There is no relationship without accountability and responsibility. It’s about commitment to self in awareness and growth as well as commitment to one another. This is what makes relationship so rich, worthwhile and life worth living.

In relationship is where you learn about yourself  in ‘relation’ to another human being with the ability to become more and this is even in casual daily passing relationships. Only ultimately and more importantly, it is intensely experienced in the love relationship. You were attracted to another and brought together for a reason and purpose. If you shut down, runaway or escape when it gets difficult or becomes real, you are not only harming your partner but ultimately yourself.

When commitment, accountability and responsibility are negated, put down, diminished, dismissed, ignored and escaped from in our individual lives, we are creating  a distorted, fractured, weak immoral society and  world – wherein self-pleasure, selfishness and self- centeredness rule and ultimately there is much self misery.

Books to assist in awareness and growth DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart – Both available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. in e-book and soft cover.

Extreme feminism is toxic …

Extreme feminism is destroying romantic love along with limiting, perhaps even destroying the balancing of male/female energies on earth. God created male and female  – the perfect complement to one another – the most powerful connect/attraction on earth.  Satan/evil is trying to disrupt and destroy this balance.  Deep in a feminine woman’s heart is the need and desire that she feel taken care of by her man.  She has a deep desire to feel supported by him – to feel held up when she is down – to have strong arms to fall into when her storms of life hit – when she feels anxious, uncertain, fearful, overwhelmed, etc.  A feminine woman wants and needs the strong masculine energy.
Male and female energies balance each other – are different yet equal.  Feminine energy is powerful. And when a feminine woman has to/tries to be the man for herself in a relationship; she becomes drained, angry, stressed and feels as if perhaps, she doesn’t need the male energy after all. Some men have become feminine in their energy and women are losing respect for them. The more feminine the men become, the more in her male energy a woman feels she needs to be. Men become frustrated and angry and so do women when this occurs. Women are behaving like men to try to become and feel equal and it’s making them feel many things, instead of equal. And men are losing attraction to these women and even treating them like men. Women and men were always meant to be equal. They are equal by being who they are – who they were created to be by God. Otherwise, it’s destroying feminine power long with weakening the male power and turning it all into a distortion.
Having a strong, masculine man to spend a life with is the most important thing to an innately feminine women who stands in her feminine power. The same is accurate for a masculine man, he desires the power of the divine feminine as his partner. A masculine man makes his woman able to feel like a girl again – able to feel safe and protected.  A masculine man makes a feminine woman feel great in her body. She doesn’t mind giving up the lead because she feels safe and wisely guided.  A woman may be able to make money, be a success in the world, have children without a man,  even fight for herself, but a feminine woman still craves a masculine man. 
    It may feel vulnerable to admit this, since woman have been brainwashed  into thinking that to need, want, even crave the masculine is not being a ‘feminist’. 

Perhaps, women have been conned to, lied to and have been lying to themselves to believe and think that they don’t need a man. Not to survive, or live or that she can’t take care of herself and her own needs, but that she wants to need a man. Not being or feeling ‘needy’, but because the masculine energy lights her up, holds her should she fall and protects her. Nothing is wrong with ‘needing’. We have been brainwashed into thinking that a woman ‘needing’ a man and a man ‘needing’ a woman is wrong or weak. When needing is  innate and natural. It’s actually only the strong who can allow vulnerability  to one another – vulnerable to someone who is worthy of trust.The weak, insecure and defensive can’t/won’t allow vulnerability.
It’s time to stop listening to those trying to orchestrate the male/female connection/attraction out of existence. Being the divine feminine standing in the heart of her power  will both need and desire a man who takes her places, throws her on the bed, who is an enlighten male – operating from the divine masculine energy who guides her/them and leads her/them in life.
We all slip into different roles at times, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. The divine male will listen to the divine feminine and vice versa. It’s normal and natural – as we have both male & female inside ourselves on varying levels and degrees.
       Being a female,  you can feel whether a man is dominant or submissive. In today’s world, signs that a man is of divine masculinity is that he has a strong male energy. He is not afraid to be dominant and to hold his ground, but just this – does not mean that he can’t have well-developed feminine energy too. He’s multi-dimensional – once referred to as a Renaissance man – oh, how terms for things change.
       Okay – dominate –  but how?
Dominate for some men means being a controlling asshole. Or he may be the rare enlightened male – spiritual, but still masculine. This type of man is rare.  Sometimes,  it’s difficult to  tell the level of a man’s masculinity, so here are some clues:
– When among others and socializing,  a man of weak masculinity often talks in a way that puts other people down. Doing this, shows his insecurity but the real reason is that genuinely masculine men are more centered and focused than to put others down directly or indirectly. To do so shows his lack of ability to focus and lack of direction in his own life. Men with a sense of mission who are focused don’t cloud their brain with gossip and negative talk about others.  Lengthy gossip is something that some women do. There’s a difference between telling it like it is and having most of what comes out be criticism and gossip.  

– People don’t pay attention and aren’t interested in listening when he speaks. A masculine man usually has the ability to engage people and is not afraid to engage others socially to do so. Observe how he is with his friends and in groups of people.  Can ne command respect and space and can allow space for others to do the same.
 –  A masculine man is strong in his choices; and is stable in his own abilities that others’ opinions only count for so much – but he does listen to others – not necessarily adapting them as his own because his choices matter the most. If he’s seeking approval from others, especially women, something is off, in that he is not secure in himself. If he adapts to other’s view points too easily taking  them as his own, he has no sense of self and is easily swayed. If he needs too much reassurance – then he lacks self-trust.  He will go with the group as in the lib/dem masses do. – If he loses things all the time, do you trust him? If his answers are, “I don’t know.” too often, can you trust him?
 Masculine energy is directional – it knows where it’s going and if it doesn’t – it finds out. Masculine energy knows the answers, the how to’s. – Masculine energy is not a complainer. The man who complains about work, his boss, his ex, his mother, his father, his life. the world or  the man who has an injury or mishap and goes on and on about it. And so enjoys telling the story of how bad it is or all was and how it happened over and over again. Complaints – complaints – complaints.

When does he have the time to take the problem at hand and deal with it – or to heal from the past trauma or issue that he carries with him?  Like the man who got engaged in his twenties and the woman cheated on him and in his fifties is still talking about it. When will he ever get over it, heal from it and why is he holding onto it? For sympathy?  For the ole poor me deal? To make his case that all women cheat or that commitment doesn’t work? Perhaps, he’s not even looking to deal or to heal. He just wants to blurt out complaints. This is mostly a feminine thing – being hurt, upset or complaining, because our natural feminine instinct is not to solve problems. but to talk about them over and over. It’s the lifeblood of the feminine to connect, talk and soon we feel better as if the problem never existed.  If a man is more towards the Alpha on the spectrum of Beta, he will not complain, but will solve.
When a woman can trust a man to be a man, a woman can relax and be a woman and this benefits both the male and female.   If a man talks about how bad their ex-girlfriend was, how they don’t have enough sex, how stressful their job is, with complaints about women, marriage, commitment, dating etc. –  they are complainers and may never get past their past or heal from their issues. Real men heal. Real women heal.

Feminists hold onto to issues, don’t forgive and hate. Misogynists hold onto issues, don’t forgive and hate.
Males who blame females for it all. Women who blame men it all are the cause of the male/female divide.Relationship is a place for divine healing…. it’s a gift from God of the true magnificence of the male/female connection/ attraction….
So-called feminism is toxic to both the male and female and our world.

Tools to assist in awareness – FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help

Becoming aware…

At church yesterday, I sat in a pew behind a family of grandparents, parents and a sweet little four-year-old girl. During the church service, the  four-year-old would move from one side of the pew to the other, sit by her mother, then snuggle into her grandfather, look through the hymnal, play with her little pink purse, open and close it – sit still for a moment, then begin her exploration and movements all over again. She was a well-behaved for a four-year-old – quiet, sweet and would sit and be still as long as she could, when one of the adults would suggest that she do so. She was perfect in her development and behavior for four.
But what if she was still behaving in this manner at the age of 16 – at the age of 30 – at the age of 50? If she was, then we would look at her with pity – concern and wonder why she never grew past the developmental age of 4. Is it a mental disorder – was she not reared properly – does she just like to be an irritation to others – is she selfish and spiteful and just not want to fit in?  Does she like to cause disturbances? Was she not taught manners, patience, respect, empathy responsibility, accountability?

This example is an exaggeration because should an adult move about as this child was – clearly something would be terribly wrong. Only today, so many adults are walking around with the internal developmental age of immature children,  self-centered, selfish, no accountability, lack of manners, lack of responsibility, etc.

They may on the outside ‘look’ like adults, but inside they are stuck at some underdeveloped developmental stage. I am not referring to our keeping our inner child alive – so we can, at times, run and play and keep our child-like curiosity that keeps us vital though adult life. I am referring to inner turmoil and dysfunction, either because they are weak, were never taught, had dysfunction modeled for them or were not imprinted with the attributes that lead to true inner awareness and maturity to be able to adapt, develop mentally and emotionally to live a fully responsible life to self and others.

They are the adults walking around who ‘look’ the part, ‘dress’ the part- even have a job  that ‘appears’ the part, but who are not genuine. They are frauds unto themselves and others and live in internal misery and harm many others along the way.  They are addicted to things, to substances, to sex, to using others, to creating a false image, to staying immature, selfish and all about self.
“Me, me, me  – it’s mine – I can do what I want to. Leave me alone!” –  are a few of their outward or inward cries. They are stuck in a developmental stage of childhood with no awareness of self in relation to others or even to what they are doing to themselves. They are ‘play acting’ the part of an adult. Many are referred to as narcissist, pathological, dysfunctional, cluster-B’s, depressives, etc. They use people, institutions, positions, things, substances – any and whomever they can, to try to keep their adult in-control facade in tact.
The lack of maturity, accountability, responsibly in many adults today is astounding.  They are depressed, anxious, addicted, power- hungry without self-control, hoarders, materialistic,  control-freaks, stuff themselves with food, drink, etc. immoral – self-serving – selfish, etc. 

Lib/Dem/progressive/ NWO globalists are prime example of developmental dysfunctions. They want everything given to them – power and control over others, just because they say so and think they ‘know’ better.  Think the developmental stage of the know- it- all teenager or even the NO! of the toddler.  The ‘I want it all for nothing’ – think the toddler to age of five stages. It’s five or six when many of us learn to share, to have empathy, to put others before ourselves, to have genuine compassion. Then there are those trying to be  in complete rule and want complete control  over the the masses – the little dictator-stage of the two-year-old –  and those being controlled want everything for nothing – just like little dependent children.

 A world of toddlers stuck in – “NO NO  NO” –  Three-year-olds – “It’s mine!” –  Six-year-olds “Leave me alone!  – Teenagers – “I will do what I want to! Stay out of my room!”  As a society and as individuals, if  we do not develop properly, we create a world of hell and as individuals we will live in internal hell.

God and an upbringing in the ways of the Bible and Christianity define and create a practice of self-awareness to become responsible, accountable for our actions that leads to an internal mature and developed life. Without this development,  individually we will  live in pain trying to fill the void in ourselves up with things that will not ever spiritual satisfy us. And as a world, we will have what we are seeing in many people now.

It all begins with self and the developmental stages of childhood. this is why the NWO progressive/globalists want control of  our children younger and younger to imprint them with controllable dysfunction even perversion, with lack of boundaries for their use and benefit. A person who stays forever a teenager or young adult with no accountability and responsibility to another, who can’t put others before themselves and have empathy and patience will not be a whole, internally satisfied human being. There will always be the unrest of the four-year-old inside. Sure, there is a positive side to being a child-at- heart then there is a very negative almost demonic side to never maturing properly.  

Nurturing and caring for our inner child and being mature and accountable to others is an internal balance.

‘Acting’ the part isn’t genuinely being or living the part.

Bring a child up in the ways of the Bible. church/God and it will serve him for all of his days.
A tool to assist in awareness DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help.

Become aware and heal yourself…

There are many on the internet offering love spells, chakra-healings etc. They offer free readings or cheap readings like for $15 then what they do after setting you up is tell you that you have a curse – you need a chakra balancing – love spell, or work on a past life to change your current one – or your life will not go as you wish, etc. They instill fear in you and that ‘they’ can change all this for money – usually lots of money  for the  hours of ‘work’ they will do, or for the candles, crystals  and other ‘supplies’ they will buy and need to do this ‘work’, etc.  Ask yourself – REALLY?

There are people who are really psychic and intuitive who have the ability to read energy. I am highly intuitive and have had many magical things occur in my lifetime and have had premonitions that occurred etc. And this is all for free. 

When someone claims they can change the energy – your life – or cast a spell that someone will love you – or go back in time and change a past life  to change in that lifetime in order to change the energy in this life – RUN! It’s a con. It’s of evil. It’s alchemy. And it’s for ‘their benefit’ of your giving them large sums of money. Don’t give your power or your money away to these cons.

A real psychic charges  a fair price, but not overly so and definitely not lots. And they will not instill fear or try to instill that if you don’t do this or that – that your life will be cursed or that negative things will occur, etc.

Only you have the power to heal yourself. You can change your energy by your awareness, thoughts, and self-healing – chakra and otherwise. No one can really do this for you. You can do it yourself for free. Jesus healed for free. He didn’t ask that anyone pay him money. He asked only that they believe in him and God the father. In prayer all things are possible and prayer is free.
Only Satanic evil charges for prayer, to cast spells or to do alchemy.  Satan wants you to think that he is in control of your life. Just like  these so-called gypsy fortune-tellers, spell-makers, but only for money that you pay to them. They never offer their services and ‘magical’ abilities for free or for nothing – now, do they? Their con is for the exchange of your money, or goods for their – what? Do they even know? Many of these people say the same or similar things – they have been trained to do this from childhood – schooled in the art and con of others. The person going to them is in fear, has had loss, or are searching, are weak and easily set up for and by the con. I have researched this and can tell the real from the con.  I have also helped expose and get money back from these cons.

Some will even ask – for example: a new washer and dryer to wash the evil out of someone or some issue.  Some will ask you to lease or to buy them a car, so that your life will move forward at a faster pace. These ‘psychic’ cons are self-serving evil.  Anyone offering to cast a spell  on you, or someone else, to bring you money, success, love or whatever – is a con and operating out of the evil of control!

Prayer is free – self-awareness is free and you can do it for yourself. A group of people bonded in prayer in the name of God is powerful. And asking someone to pray for you or someone else – does not cost anything. Energy can be changed – shifted etc. and it doesn’t cost a thing. It’s freely sent from God Almighty.

A tool to assist in awareness is a book I have out – DADDY THROW ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help. My memories will trigger yours, then you can use the process in Part IV for further self-awareness and to process negative emotions and limiting imprints.  Life is magical and there are energies directing us while we are on our journey on earth. Yes, we all trigger one another as we go about our lives, either to heal or to do harm. Become aware and heal yourself.

Do not give large sums of money to some self-serving alchemists who threaten and use fear tactics. Fear is the lowest vibration on earth. and people who use it do so with manipulation and evil intent and for their self-serving benefit. They are fear – mongering takers not givers.

We are all meant to be wherever we are in any given time. We are born into our individual circumstances for our soul’s growth. It’s our astrology – our ancestral lineage, DNA, the time frame and place we are born, etc. And often times, the people who imprint us are who make- up who we are. Until, we become aware – that we can shift and change as we grow. And this all begins with our awareness to do so. It’s up to us and it’s our choice, even as at times, it may not feel like we have choice.  Life is a healing adventure – others assist, but it’s up to you to process, shift, change and become aware. Make sure you are being guided by God –  not evil – so that it may be for your soul’s highest good. 

Excerpt from FEAST OF MEN ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’

Startling me, the pilot kneels down in the aisle right by my seat then with a large smile and in a Southern drawl asks, “Are you from LA?”  I laugh silently in my twisted humor. Um, he must think I’m the hijacker. The winking pilot continues looking up at me talking all Southern and gentlemanly like. “You look like someone I used to know who lived in LA. I just wanted to see if you were her.” 

I think, what an overused line, but I look down at him then answer, “I live in Dallas – actually, just outside of Dallas and you look a bit familiar also.”

The pilot looks up at me with his eyes locked into mine. “Oh really, well, I’ve got an empty seat beside me.  Since everyone else is watching the movie, would you like to sit with me and we can chat?  I’d love to talk more with you, but can’t stay here kneeling in this aisle.”

I respond, “Okay – why not, since everyone else is watching the movie.” As I think – nice brown eyes, appears a bit overconfident, but a Southern gentleman, besides I’m bored and can’t seem to sleep. So, talking with him might be a distraction to pass the time. I get up and follow him to where he’s sitting.

He has an aisle seat. There’s a woman by the window. So, I slide into the middle seat then look back.  The lady where I was sitting is yelling and motioning, but I can’t hear her.  So, the gallant pilot goes back to retrieve both my water and Diet Dr. Pepper. Apparently, the lady couldn’t get out of her seat with my tray table down.  I didn’t bring anything with me because I thought I’d only visit with the winking pilot for a short while.

FEAST OF MEN – One woman’s magical mysterious, nightmarish, adventurous journey through men on her quest to have a better understanding of the male energy on her search to find genuine and everlasting love. Just as life brings her the masculine offering of a chance for love, along with experiencing another aspect of herself in reflection – her heart is disappointed even broken. She then is  given the opportunity even forced to heal, as she becomes even more aware of the masculine energy and her relation to it, along with a deeper awareness of her imprints and beliefs. As she travels forward on her journey, the pieces come together, break, then come together again offering her the ability to become more aware and whole.
What if Eve was leading Adam to the opportunity to experience all and every dimension of life? The feminine as it relates to masculine and masculine as it relates to feminine. Male and female rubbing souls against one another for the possibility and benefit of what love creates and heals. And this is exactly what God intended – in the full power of ‘his knowing’ – that only a woman would be able to entice a man to do so. God, after all created the serpent along with the opportunity for choice without which there would be no dark defining light challenges on earth.

Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other usual places.
http://eart/dp/1642376876/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?keywords=FEAST+OF+MEN+byt+Ayn+Dillard&qid=1561582975&s=gateway&sr=8-2-fkmr0

FEAST OF MEN – ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’…

There must be a plan…

But we’re fools to think we have total control over our destiny. There may be choices, but the universe has its law of physics – seems most things can’t be interrupted.

As if we’re fragments of a broken mirror with the magnetic chemistry of the powerful male/female energy compelling the pieces together.

Our individual reflection in the mirror is our soul-coded-blue-print urging us to find emotional wholeness.

Endless opportunities are offered up to recognize the negative ‘painful’ aspects taken in from our ancestral lineage with the goal of integration.

The powerful allure is the quest for self-knowledge, love and validation.

The ability to feel all our emotions in honest evaluation then to incorporate each reflection shown – we will arrive at our soul’s wisdom – which may be our true life’s journey on earth.

If brave enough to walk through each aspect striving for the unification of the male/female along with our shadow and light, the magic of our soul’s destiny will be unveiled.

  As increased inner truth is acknowledged, the pieces puzzle together. Our mirror becomes clearer as senses expand revealing our current essence through which we have the ability to experience more.

Just as our hearts become free – another piece emerges forcing the image to crack once again, re-adjusting with the offer and possibility of a more magnificent reflection than we once could have ever imagined.

And the process continues, if we persistently choose to overcome the dark and are granted the honor to carry our light to others reflecting the purity of our souls as we journey our way back home…

‘Life’s mirror is friend to a wise man and an enemy to a fool.’

To order signed first edition soft cover – FEAST OF MEN ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’

The story of Echo and Narcissus…. What is narcissism actually?

Do you use this much over-used word of the day to accuse/insult even categorize others  whom you view as having certain traits? In Greek Mythology –  which is where this personality disorder of Narcissism derives. The story goes – that there was a wood nymph named Echo who loved to talk. For some reason, she displeased the gods, so they put a curse on her  which was she was only  able to repeat  what she heard – repeat that which others said to her, back to them.

Echo was in love with a young warrior named Narcissus – who also displeased the gods – so they put a curse on him –   which was – that when he was looking into a lake, he would fall in love with his own reflection – and be able to love no one else but his image.   Who knows what these two did to displease the gods- but the gods back then seemed to be easily displeased and also curse happy.

Hence the personality ‘disorder’ of Narcissism began and was created. BUT did you notice and realize that Narcissus fell in love with his ‘image’ – not who he really was – BIG DIFFERENCE! Then as the story goes, Echo who loved Narcissus couldn’t let him know that she loved him because she could only repeat what he said back to her. Therefore, Narcissus never knew how much Echo loved him. Therefore, Narcissist was doomed to love only the image that the world saw of him – he couldn’t really love himself or Echo or feel love from others. He lived a life obsessed with his ‘image.’   Not the way he actually looked or was, but the ‘image’ that he created and was seen by the world. His image was everything to him because he could not genuinely see, understand or love self.  Narcissus means numbness in Greek. He was empty/numb inside  with no true feelings and only about his image. He had no ability to genuinely feel – internally he was void – so he ‘acted’ what he thought was appropriate by observing others.

Echo loved him, but had no way to let him know – therefore, Narcissus could feel no love or emotion  from her. Two truly cursed people. Since relationships are our biggest teachers – these two were stuck in being alone and unable to relate. They were emotionally numb and void.

Narcissism is not about taking selfies or focusing on looks, but that could be one  minor trait. Narcissists more often than not do not like their looks or their self – especially their inner self –  they are all about ‘image’. They are emotionally numb, empty and lost souls.

Narcissism is an inability to feel empathy –  being all about the wants needs of self for their self-image – the image that they create for the world to see –  not caring, giving to, or thinking much about anyone else, unless they can enhance or add to their image. It’s an empty internal existence. It’s an existence all about ‘me, myself & I’ – full of emptiness and, or pain – they often fall into narcissistic depression.

The Narcissistic Relationship

It’s easy to fall in love with narcissists. Don’t judge yourself for succumbing because research shows that strangers’ initial impressions of narcissists for the first seven meetings are positive. They’re seen as charming, agreeable, confident, open, well-adjusted and entertaining. Their alluring performance is designed to win trust and love, implicitly promising that their attentiveness will continue. Only later, did the research subjects see through the narcissists’ likable façade. Covert narcissists are even more disarming – because their outward image is that of kind, caring, helpful and without the usual grandiose narcissist displays – they are more subtle and obviously ‘covert’. They can quickly pull on their target’s heart strings of caring for, and protection of.

Difficulties and conflict arise in longer narcissistic relationships. At home, narcissists may privately denigrate the person they were just publicly entertaining, and after a romantic prelude, they act totally different. Once you’re hooked, they lack the motivation to maintain a charismatic façade. As the excitement of romance wanes, narcissists become disappointed in their partner. Their criticisms escalate and they may act distant and dismissive. The relationship revolves around the narcissist, while others are viewed merely as objects to use in order to manage the narcissist’s needs and fragile even empty self-esteem. Embarrassed partners watch their mate flirt with a cashier, cut to the front of the line, or castigate a clerk or waitress. They must contend with demands, judgments, and self-centeredness. They’re expected to appreciate the narcissist’s specialness, meet his or her needs for admiration, service, love, or purchases when needed — and are dismissed when they don’t.

Narcissists put themselves first, and their codependent partners concur. Both agree that the narcissist is great and that his or her mate isn’t as great and should sacrifice! This makes their relationship work … in the beginning that is. Eventually, the partner feels drained, hurt, resentful, disrespected, and lonely.

The children and partners of narcissists share Echo’s experience of feeling rejected, invisible and unheard. They long to be seen, to have their needs met, and their love returned. Many partners of narcissists sadly pine away for years longing to feel respected, important, appreciated, and cared about. Their self-esteem suffers over time. They risk turning into empty shells of their former selves. Narcissists suffer, too, because they’re never satisfied. Even though Narcissus and Echo both long for love, Narcissus can neither give love, nor receive the love Echo offers.

If you can’t feel emotions, you are the walking dead, trying to fit in as a human, but actually are a walking zombie.

Learn how to identify and process your feelings, emotions, imprints and beliefs. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other usual places.

Social Norming…

People assume then come to believe that a behavior is ‘normal’, the more they are exposed to it even if it’s bad/negative, immoral, or detrimental to their life – mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

It’s the affect/effect of hearing and seeing something repeatedly – it becomes ‘imprinted’ upon/in an individual’s mind and they may even carry it in their innate energy to forever change them.

Children from 0 – 7 are the most impressionable – followed by teenagers and young adults. This is why advertisers and those wishing to brainwash, focus on these age groups. Repetition of propaganda imprints people and has the possibility to change who a person naturally is – to even hate themselves and their life and what they believe –  as that may be the very goal. Once a person hates themselves then they are easily manipulated to do as directed by government – advertisers – self-serving interest groups – the medical and health fields,etc. because they have been made weak, easy to manipulate and more willing to give their self-identity and self-authority over to others.

People who have been fractured – have been abused – have never developed a strong self-identity – whose boundaries have been crossed and negated – are uneducated – ignorant of facts – who feel lost and like they do not fit into society, or perhaps, even to be on earth –  and some don’t even feel like they fit in their body that God created for them – fall prey to ‘Social Norming’ more easily than a self-confident – emotionally intelligent , self-aware and secure person with clear mental, physical and emotional boundaries.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Family makes a big difference in the security of an individual – that a mother and father are both present – that a family unit is intact.  Education that teaches an individual to think instead of brainwashing for agenda – religious/spiritual training and education that stresses the Ten Commandments – that an individual spends time reading instead of mostly watching agenda-filled TV programs, movies and listening to soul destroying music full of negative messages and words; such as rap some rock, etc. The energy in music can either lift a soul up or tear it down. Music carries a vibration and can be very harmful to body, mind and spirit when discordant and disruptive vibrations are listened to and felt too often.

Sexuality is being introduced to children way too soon  and this is to pervert the child – have the child indulging in sexual activities before they even realize, or understand what it is. Sex is sacred and to introduce a child to it too soon is to pervert the child – crossing the sexual boundaries of a child is a sin and it weakens them to be further taken advantage of.

Leviticus 19:29 – Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.

We as a society need protect our children from viewing violence, sexuality and other forms of depravity .


Matthew 18:6 – But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.


3 John 1:4 – I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
Then comes the ‘political correct’ censorship to stop people from sharing their true and real thoughts. To fit in, you must speak and write the ‘accepted’ way or for example, you will be put in Facebook jail – or called a racist or homophobe, etc.

It’s all part of Social Norming…  to make the masses think, act and live as they are directed by those who will benefit from them doing so.

It’s the tearing down of society – the tearing down of morality, standards, values, health – mental, emotional and physical.  The drug companies and  medical field make tons of profits pushing drugs and tests, etc. Do we really need all these drugs or preventive tests? People need use their natural instincts to decide, instead of giving their power completely over to a ‘Doctor’. The Social Norming’s purpose is to override natural God-given instincts to make the person easy to manipulate and control. So pretty soon, ‘everything’ will be decided by the government, the drug companies, medical institutions, etc. – with the individual forced to go along with the ‘norm’.

Common sense, individual instincts, the ability to think – reason, morality, manners are falling to the wayside as  government control and the ‘facade’ of individuality takes over. Individuality is being pushed but it’s a false front for – you must accept everything even that which you detest in order to be ‘politically correct’. Therefore, in truth – your rights, freedoms and individuality are being hijacked by Social Norming.

We have a right to think as we choose and to like what we like and to not like what we don’t like. And we also have the right  to express as such. Taking that right away, unless you conform to Social Norming is nothing but complete control of your mind, body and eventually your soul. And that is what EVIL wants – complete control.
Good/GOD wants you free to choose… But the Social Norming is trying to get rid of God/Christ – freedom to choose – from society – to mesh us all into what ‘they’ want us to think, believe and worship. Social Norming wants us to worship government, to do as advertisers direct especially the drug companies and to turn away from family  and traditional male/female relationships bonding and commitment into sexual perversion, depravity, loss of morality, etc. Where our boundaries are crossed and broken to form a mass collective easily controlled by a few – the agenda of the progressive/globalist NWO. Social Norming is a capturing of souls – a true and certain hell on earth.

For awareness: Read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and on this website to become aware of how imprints are instilled – including a process to assist in releasing them. Self-reflection is key to awareness and freedom.

The face of the Democrat/socialist/progressive party – the victim…

Image result for Photos of Christine Blasey FordDemocrat party is the party of victims, weak women – weaker men…

The democratic party – the party of man haters, women who hate men, think they are all liars and should die – especially, if they are old and white.
Actually – the lib/dem/progressive women, I do know and that’s very few – really do hate men and, or have children by them – never married them and the men do not take care of their children. Ummmm – I wonder could the women’s choices have created this and their hate of men – or is it actually their hate of self? Even the cool gay men I know are Conservatives, and of course, they love men, and women. Women – not so much – except for make-up. fashion tips, emoting and gossip. So that it’s the Dem Party – a party of man hating women and of course, those who are gay. Is Pocahontas gay? Does she hate men? We know Killery uses them or murders them and prefers women – wasn’t there a big ‘to do’ that she had a ‘thing’ with Okko Ono?

I have been a victim of sexual harassment – I addressed it immediately – took the man to court – he settled with me – I am not a victim. I addressed it – then released it and all the negativity that it carried from me. I am a strong Conservative Christian woman.

To remain a victim is to remain a fool – to remain tormented – wallowing in self-pity – eaten up with pain rather it be lies/fake/ or real – it’s a form of self-torment. It blocks happiness, joy  and the feminine glow from your face and body. The opposite of what ‘feminism’ is ‘supposed’ to stand for and be.

To allow others to victimize you – you are a fool – and not living in your power.  Isn’t that what the ‘feminist’  movement is ‘supposed’ to be about –  feminine power – equality – equal pay for equal work, etc. Instead, what I see is it  being  used as a victim movement.

I AM NOT A FEMINIST! I am an internally strong woman – processing life experiences and events  as they come and go in my life – then choosing what to keep and what to let go off.

In Part Four of my book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – is a process explaining how to identify your feelings  related to imprints and beliefs and how to process through them – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual places.  Someone please – get this book to Blasey-Ford –

tImage result for Photos of Christine Blasey Fordhe big pathetic victim face of Dem/lib/progressive victims… whiny child voice so obnoxious – it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Democrat – the victim party!They live as victims, create and use victims for, and to implement their agenda of control. They divide to conquer for their agenda. They create victims – want to keep them  as victims  in order to use the hell out of them – blame, blame blame others – side step, lie, deflect, avoid responsibility – say you’re a strong woman while behaving like a weak whiny child…. and all those big bad white men did it.. BOO HOOO HOO!

Makes sense, doesn’t it that Obama was the first VICTIM president.