Category Archives: Public Service Message For Women

Do you believe what they are ‘selling’ …

or yourself?
Snake oil salesman, influencers – so-called entertainment ‘stars’ – media – advertisers – advertising – advertising – advertising – repeat – repeat – repeat – make them like you – make them ‘think’ you know more than they do – that you have some kind of cure – some kind of secret miracle – that you know more than what their instincts tell them – make them ‘think’  that ‘it’, some product, diet, cream, serum, medicine – be it medical or homeopathic – some shampoo or something else – and then get paid for promoting and marketing it.

Get ‘them’ – the ‘masses’ to ‘like’ and trust you – so they will follow you, buy and do as you direct. You will lead them where you want them to go and have them buying what you tell them to – you will have them eating out of your hands – you will be an influencer and get paid for being so.

Teenagers are usually the quickest to follow their pack or peers – they are searching to rebel against any authority over them and to break away, try new things and this, of course can be positive and worthwhile, but it can also lead them on a journey to into hell. They ‘think’ they are  being rebelliously unique as they are being manipulated to become as a brainwashed flock and to gravitate to the same things.

Some things are tried and true – others not so much. They are only a whim or the latest fad – but influencers model, that if it works for them, or even some, it will work for others.  The slogan, “If I can do it, you can do it, too.” – is their call to arms. The  so-called’ influencers are ‘used’ to promote products, lifestyle choices, perfumes, clothing lines, diets – what to eat – how to live – what to buy – what not to eat and more.  Just take the product of Coke and the ‘so-deemed’ energy drinks – these things literally destroy your body, but people buy them en masse only because of false and repetitive promotion, to be/feel cool and ‘to be like all the rest’.  the call to be like all the rest – to be like others – to think if you are different or don’t have, or do what others have – is a powerful motivator for those who can’t think or choose for themselves.

As a young ballet dancer, even at the age of 12 – as that is when I auditioned and was selected as the youngest at that time to be chosen to dance in the corps d’ ballet of a professional company.  I  became obsessed with my weight – along with my energy level. I was going through puberty, so my body was changing and my fluid retention would shift as my hormones fluctuated – a normal and healthy part of maturation.

I write about this time, in my book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR –  in the memory – “You’re too fat – No, You’re too Skinny!”  It was my quest to have the perfect body, even at the age of 12 years-old when I was still growing and changing.

I read everything I could find on nutrition – vitamins, etc. I didn’t realize it then, but I was using my body as a laboratory. I would eat only protein and get very lean, but had little energy. A times, I would starve myself. I would eat Fritos dipped in peanut butter – then eat only grilled cheese sandwiches. I observed how my body reacted as I tried different combinations. As a professionally trained dancer,  I was fortunate to be be given the gift and choice of complete body awareness.  A ballet dancer’s core is from where her strength and movement derive. So, I became ahead of the fitness game, even as a child – and way before most of the world was into it.  I knew the feeling of being completely physically integrated and knew how great it felt. I was into fitness, nutrition, health, etc. before most the rest of the world  had even thought about it. When I was growing up, I never saw a fat person – perhaps, a pudgy child, but compared to what I see today, they would be considered thin.  Food stuffs were filled with less chemicals, hormones, etc. Everything was more natural – even so-called ‘junk food’ tasted like real food as compared to now – as now, it tastes plastic, chemical & fake – not like food at all.

My mother prepared most of our meals  – which were most always a balance of meat, vegetables and a starch. We rarely, if ever had desserts or bread, as in dinner rolls, etc. We only had desserts as in a homemade pie or cake on birthdays or holidays. Sure, we had homemade cookies on occasion and popcorn and very occasionally potato chips. When as a family, we went out to dinner, it was to very nice restaurants – individually owned and, oftentimes we knew the owners – the food was fresh.

People weren’t sick. No one that I knew was was sick – except for an occasional cold, but hardly even that. I knew no sick children and none who took medications for learning, behavior disorders or anything else. We were are pretty much well-behaved.  No one that I knew took anything more than an occasional aspirin – if that.

As fast food came upon the horizon – as in pizza, etc. We tried it and liked it. Only the pizza then was freshly made with fresh ingredients.

Soon other fast-food choices made their entry onto the eating horizon – fried chicken, hamburgers, tacos. I would indulge in this fare – say once a week or less – just kinda going along with my group of friends. I was always into vitamins and took them when others thought they were nonsense. And after all my research, I knew this fast-food-thing with their little buildings popping up with their drive through windows all over the place – could not be good for the human body.

Now, what I see appalls me.  I see overly fat people everywhere. People who have little to no body awareness and certainly don’t feel or operate from their core. And we are not supposed to even notice they are fat, but to accept them as such, so as to not hurt their feelings.

Everything has become an orchestrated distortion. Less fitness over-all, while it’s being pushed and marketed. Less nutrition, while we have more so-deemed nutritional products and services. Many diets saying even taunting us to eat this and not that –  pay us money and you will lose weight – all these specialized foods that taste like yuck! Less activity, while it’s being lauded – more fat  and unfit people, but we are not supposed to shame or even notice them.

And then the sexual confusion being promoted to confuse our youth is off the charts perversion.  Sexualization of our children is of evil and perverse.  With some promoting little boys become girls and little girls become boys – naming them opposite sex names and dressing them as such.  So that, they begin their lives in sexual confusion. It’s vile and repugnant.  Only by these so-deemed influencers, we as a society are being led to accept that which we once found abhorrent as the norm. It’s promoted as leading edge — ‘design your child’s sex’.

So the questions are –  ‘Do you follow others or yourself? Do you follow your God-given instincts and what is moral and psychologically sound, or do you believe and make choices because, or based on something some entertainer does, says, or tells you to do, or to think, buy or live as, and that includes some self-serving ‘religious-type’, making millions off spewing their interpretation of the Bible?

Your connection to God – to yourself – to your body – to your psychological well-being – your moral and emotional health is personal between you and God – it’s not between you and anyone else and it costs nothing, but your time in reading, prayer, awareness and self-reflection.

Eating a pear cost less than eating a Big Mac with fries and is abundantly better for you. Natural and pure is better – less is more. Sex is between those committed in love.

Freedom and choice is of God/good.  Control, no choice, being in bondage to ‘addictions, chemicals, government/entertainers, media, sexual perversions’ are evil/Satanic.
We are in the world, not of it – therefore, be discerning, instead of in bondage to any person, thing or earthly/material belief.

0-7 are the most impressionable & formative years for a human being – so what a child sees, hears and feels at this time are very important to its well-being or not – creating their view of self and of the world. We must shield/protect our children from overt sexuality, violence, & pathology, along with rank so-called entertainment as well as we are able to.
Just as you can inherit your appearance and health, be it good or bad from your ancestors and lineage, you can be imprinted by their beliefs, either negative or positive that will guide your choices and ultimately your life. You will be imprinted and influenced by your parents, caretakers. societal imprints and beliefs and the world that you grow up in, until you become aware. You can change and better your appearance, learn skills, educate yourself, change your health factors by self-care, and you can also change your limiting imprints and negative beliefs entangled in your memories by becoming aware. A tool to assist DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, etc. and by contacting me.

Love is for the brave, not the weak. What is genuine love?

It’s hard to love someone through the ups and downs, the good, bad and ugly and that is why commitment is required. It’s difficult and makes one feel vulnerable to allow someone to see all sides, the dark, the bad, the fears, etc. instead of only the good, the better, the ‘image’, etc.  – that is why commitment is important, even required.
When things get hard, it’s easy to exit and be onto someone who will see you with fresh eyes and that you can fool for awhile into thinking that you are such a good, nice, kind, successful person, etc. – whatever your persona or whichever way it is that you ‘need’ to view yourself and, or to be viewed to feel ‘okay’ about yourself and to keep your image in tact.

Some weak, insecure people can’t/don’t genuinely love and commit because they are fearful of their wounds, their weaknesses being revealed and seen because they then would need to address, heal and correct them to become more whole, in order to feel that they are worthy to self and another. As long as they can keep those things hidden and what they ‘think’ is out of sight, they ‘feel’ that they are ‘okay’ – when they really aren’t. Facing your wounds, your issues can be painful and it’s the brave who do so. Love is for the brave, not the weak.

The challenge of the love relationship and life is when others see who you really are and when you see who they really are – all their different sides and you still love one another through thick and thin.  That is what love is – that is what commitment is. That is why the vows of marriage are as they are – for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, good times and not so good, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, along with ‘let no one put asunder’.

It’s easy to love when everything is perfect – not so easy when it isn’t, but the genuine enduring fulfillment comes when a couple goes through the thick and thin of life together.  Vows of a love relationship are not – ‘I will love you, until I see that you aren’t perfect, we have troubles, or you get sick, or  when you might see the real me and leave me.’

The benefit of love is that it challenges both individuals to become their best, to heal their wounds, address their issues, by rubbing their souls against one another for the benefit of both. Love is the most clear and profound mirror you will ever have.
There are some fatal flaws that which are if an individual is too weak or ignorant to address and that another can’t abide, until awareness, healing and change occurs  – as in cheating, addictions, or abuse, etc. 

Only if you tell someone that you love them, but can’t love them through their worse place, time or situation, or when they behave their worst, then what is your love worth? Not much. The times when people behave their worst is when they need love the most. Actually, it may be a cry out for love. Sometimes, it might need to be tough love.
Relationship is ultimately for healing of the individual soul and also together as the whole – a commitment of support, care and nurturing. It’s not for sucking off the good times, the sexual energy, the beauty, the allure, the excitement as in the beginning of romance, or the success, or exploitation of everything you can get, until or before you are seen for who and what you are – then off you go to find fresh prey.  Love is for giving, not what you can get. It’s a circle of giving and receiving – not always equal at times, but it will work out for the well-being of both in the long range, when and if both are committed.

Love is not for quitters, losers, the weak, or fair-weather friends. It’s for the winners, healers, tenacious, aware, strong, brave, etc,   It’s not a sprint. It’s a long distance run.  It’s the most genuine fulfilling place on earth to be and the only thing that lasts through eternity. People in love, oftentimes live longer and stay in better health. And the glow and commitment that can be seen in the faces and energy of those who have made this journey together are palatable as it’s an energy that emits a glow that heals not only themselves, but others and out into the world.

Tools to assist in awareness with opportunity for healing – DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. Male/female the most powerful connection/attraction on earth – created differently for respective individual purposes, but equal.

FEAST OF MEN – ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’…

There must be a plan…

But we’re fools to think we have total control over our destiny. There may be choices, but the universe has its law of physics – seems most things can’t be interrupted.

As if we’re fragments of a broken mirror with the magnetic chemistry of the powerful male/female energy compelling the pieces together.

Our individual reflection in the mirror is our soul-coded-blue-print urging us to find emotional wholeness.

Endless opportunities are offered up to recognize the negative ‘painful’ aspects taken in from our ancestral lineage with the goal of integration.

The powerful allure is the quest for self-knowledge, love and validation.

The ability to feel all our emotions in honest evaluation then to incorporate each reflection shown – we will arrive at our soul’s wisdom – which may be our true life’s journey on earth.

If brave enough to walk through each aspect striving for the unification of the male/female along with our shadow and light, the magic of our soul’s destiny will be unveiled.

  As increased inner truth is acknowledged, the pieces puzzle together. Our mirror becomes clearer as senses expand revealing our current essence through which we have the ability to experience more.

Just as our hearts become free – another piece emerges forcing the image to crack once again, re-adjusting with the offer and possibility of a more magnificent reflection than we once could have ever imagined.

And the process continues, if we persistently choose to overcome the dark and are granted the honor to carry our light to others reflecting the purity of our souls as we journey our way back home…

‘Life’s mirror is friend to a wise man and an enemy to a fool.’

To order signed first edition soft cover – FEAST OF MEN ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’

It’s about you, not him. You are the prize…

???????????????????????????????Women, what is valuable and worthy is that ‘you’ be your total authentic self, and that you speak and live ‘your’ truth… 

When you read ‘too many’ self-help, relationship, and dating books and try to be something that you are not, is when everyone gets confused and messed up. Sure, it ‘can’ bring awareness, but ‘too much’ of it can also assist you in losing who you ‘really’ are and trying to be who and what ‘someone’ tells you to be….and this is not being your authentic self… 

It’s imperative that ‘you’ learn to be and accept who ‘you are’ in all ‘your’ glory including your weaknesses and your strengths, your highs and your lows, to be the ‘you’ that ‘you’ were meant to be the integrity of yourself.

Did you ever occur to you that many who write these self-help and spiritually, inspirational informative thingys might be a mess in their own lives and emotions? No one has all the answers and what is right for one is not right for another. So, read with caution and self-awareness.

From what I am seeing there is a major and pervasive disconnect between the sexes and  even more than ever before. So with all this relationship help from these gurus… what has actually been made ‘better’?…

Simple truths… that never change and never will:

If a man wants to be with you, he will be.

If he doesn’t call, he isn’t interested. So, why be interested in him? And waste time thinking, or even talking about him… go on with your life. He’s not worthy of your time, or attention…

There are guys who are all about the chase. They get off on the adrenaline, the romance, the does-she-or-doesn’t-she like me?
Once they get ‘their’ answer (“She likes me!”), they move on. See, they were never really into ‘you’. They were into THEMSELVES. This kind of a man seeks acceptance and validation from women.They need to ‘know’ or ‘feel’ that they’ve still ‘got it’. Once the women give them the approval they crave, they move on.

Do not mistake a series of text messages, or emails for a relationship.They are text messages. Texting is cheap and you aren’t…Understand that you can send them to multiple recipients without any of them knowing about the other.

Relationships are built eye-to-eye and in person.

High standards may mean you’re alone longer. Use that time to love yourself, to treat yourself as you would want the most dashing and worthy man to treat you. Talk to yourself and treat yourself as you would a beloved child. ‘Better’ men will start to pick up on this. The ‘good’ guys want their lady to be treated well. Don’t waste your time with any man who doesn’t treat you as well as you do yourself.

If he treats you in anyway that makes you feel negated, uncomfortable, unhappy, or irritated, then most probably, he is not for you…unless, you are a fool. And if you feel this way in the beginning, think of what you will feel like as it progresses…

If his manners are bad, he’s addicted to anything, has bad grooming habits, or just doesn’t mesh into your life, etc. Then hey… how about walking away?!… Unless, of course, you like that kind of a thing…

Women tend to work too hard to try and make something work that isn’t, doesn’t and never will then they blame themselves when it doesn’t…

Don’t allow a man to define you. It’s not worth it and never will be…

Don’t let a man determine your value ever… you determine it yourself…

Stop wondering if he likes you and ask yourself, if you like him… Think about what you want and not how to ‘please’ some guy.

How about putting it back on the guy, where it belongs?!?!?!?

I am not saying, or suggesting that we don’t compromise, adjust, alter and be kind and courteous. I am saying that we all ‘really know’ when it’s right and when it’s not… and when it’s too hard, difficult even painful and you are twisting yourself into a pretzel, negating who you are to make it work… Hey, how about realizing that it doesn’t!?

Be true to yourself, not the guy…

When you know who you are and are being who you are, you have a better chance to bring to you, who you are ‘comfortable’ with…who enhances you, and you, them, along with a certain excitement, otherwise, it’s can turn into a disaster for everyone.

I am not saying that we don’t want to be aware of our weaknesses and short comings and that, when made aware of them, we work on ourselves. But that we do this without the ‘purpose’ to ‘get’ a man, or to be more ‘attractive’ for one…that we are doing what we do for ‘ourselves’…

Many men have become terribly unattractive in every way… might it be because women have ‘catered’ to them, instead of the men growing up to be real men and learning to respect women…??? Some men seem to think that they are the ‘catch’ (I detest using that word in this way) when it’s the woman who is the ‘prize’.

And if a man treats a woman as if he is the ‘catch’, instead of her being the ‘prize’.. he is a jerk and not worth being around…

Why do you want a man in your life? Figure it out. After you do and know what you need and desire, ‘pick’ the man who meets those needs and desires and, if he doesn’t, walk on by. Men may ‘choose’, but it’s the woman who ‘picks’. So, women, it’s ‘you’ who makes the decision. You set the pace of the relationship and set the boundaries of it… and men need boundaries…

It’s the man who gets down on one knee and asks the big question with the offer of a ring as a promise and commitment… And there is a reason for this. He is offering himself ‘as a man’ who will be ‘worthy’ to create and make a life with … if ‘she decides’ that ‘she wants’ him and ‘thinks’ that he is ‘worthy’ of her affection and commitment.

He may choose, but she makes the final decision…and I think this may freak the weak men out along with the losers.

But, who wants them anyway. So, they play the game of never choosing… to force some women into ‘trying’ to be what ‘he’ wants… twisting herself into a pretzel… these women have forgotten that they are the ‘prize’…And this never works…it’s the man that needs to be the man, in order, for him to be worthy and to gain the hand of the woman…

And ladies, don’t settle on the major things. Set the stage for the man to rise to the occasion and if he can’t, doesn’t, or won’t… how about BA BYE BOY!… And you certainly, don’t want to have a baby with him. Why would you even be having sex with an undesirable anyway? No one, but a desperate fool would…

Women are the keepers of the society. It’s women who decide the level and standards, not the men. And women these days are lowering their standards and that of society and this is allowing for many men to become not worth much anything…

Lately, I have spoken with more frustrated and unhappy women concerning men than I ever have. They are unhappy in their relationships because so many men are weak, whiny and wanting women to take care of them in some area, or all, and this is unnatural and an imbalance.

With this ‘equality’ deal and women trying to be more like a man…
men are losing what it is to be a man… and women are losing their need and desire for them. A man protects and a woman nurtures… that is their essence respectively. We have blurred the lines too much and it is getting fragmented and ugly…

The sexes are equal… but they are very different…and those differences are good and why there is an attraction in the first place…

When the feminine keeps and raises the standards, the men will rise up to meet them… and if they don’t, they are not worthy of your attention. Unless, of course, you think lowly of yourself. And if you think lowly of yourself, many lazy, trashy, needy, promiscuous men will attract, react and treat you accordingly.

I am a precious woman. I am attractive, intelligent, kind, caring, confident, talented, fun, silly, serious, humble, insecure, secure, strong, fit, fearful, very feminine, and much more and I know it. And if my knowing this, while becoming more aware, and being who I am and becoming more of what God meant for me, bothers a man. If my being ‘me’, makes ‘a man’ feel insecure and thinking I am arrogant, ‘narcissistic’ (the over-used buzz word of today and many use it without even knowing what it really means), high maintenance, or that I think too highly of myself, or whatever. He is not of my level and not worthy of my being around him, other than to show me what it is that I don’t want and how I don’t want to be treated.

I set standards and boundaries for myself and, Mister, if you don’t respect them then you are not worthy of me.

This is how all women should think of themselves with their own traits and personalities described…

Confidence is not narcissisticConfidence and self-respect are emotionally healthy. And the unhealthy and insecure can’t stand to interact with confidence because they can’t control it, so they try to drag it down to their level, by calling names and controlling behaviors…’gaslighting’…

Many men these days will be sweet, complimentary and mannerly, until they don’t get what they want, or are rejected. This is when you will see the ‘real’ character and nature of the man. If they become abusive with words, actions and behaviors, or ‘vague’ in their intent, then it’s time to walk away. It will not get better, it will only get worse, if they see, and realize that you ‘will’ put up with their negation of yourself… they will escalate it as this is the nature of lowly men.

Do you just want a man, or do you want a man who respects you, makes you happy and fulfills you? (I am not suggesting that this isn’t your responsibility, also.) But if you are around someone that isn’t, or doesn’t do these things, just to have someone…. you must not like yourself much, or think that you are worthy … think about that, huh?

And if you don’t think you are worthy, why would some guy?

And lowly guys love women with low-selfworth… for alittle while anyway…

It is much better, happier, healthy, more fulfilling and everything else to be alone than to be with someone who tears you down, sabotages you, uses you, hurts you, abuses you, or is addicted (if a person has an addiction that is where their attention will be, not on you)

A guy is just a guy, but a woman! She gives birth to life. She sets the values, the standards and the morality of a society. She is the light, the softness, the refinement and beauty of the world and this is why a man desires her. A woman makes a man’s life worth living.

So women, be all of these glorious things at your highest level. Be who God meant you to be.. don’t lower yourself, or your standards for some man…
Women! It’s not about HIM It’s about YOU…

WE are the prize, the light, at the end of a man’s dark tunnel.

Any other way, guys and gals, and it just plain doesn’t work…
and why in so many instances, today, it isn’t working.

(And it’s only the weak, insecure, lowly men that can’t accept this and will try to tear you down and will fight this and will post tacky comments. Real men know this truth into the core of their being and speak and behave accordingly.)

And real men are oh, so sexy, sensual, confident, fun, attentive, mannerly, strong, sincere and much more…

A public service message for women…

Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling my roadside service provider is not an option…  I WILL win!

Stock photos: Two men looking under car hood Royalty FreeBecause I’m a man, when the car isn’t running very well,I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at.  If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, ‘I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.’  We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me tenderly while I lie in bed 
and moan.  You’re a woman.  You never get as sick as I do.
So, for you, this is no problem. 

Grocery_store : shopping in grocery store Stock PhotoBecause I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread.  I cannot be 
expected to find things like exotic cheeses or tofu.  For all
I know, they are the same thing.

 Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.  If the thing has been  misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it…. Though
one time, I was able to survive by holding a calculator…..

Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask me what I’m  thinking about.  The true answer is always either sex, cars,  sex, sports, or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don’t ask.

Because Im a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to.  Whatever  you got her for Mother’s Day is okay; I don’t need to see it. And don’t forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because  I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie.  Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t. And, if you’re feeling amorous afterwards, then I will certainly remember the name and recommend it to others.  

Because  I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too… either pair of shoes is fine.  With the belt or without it.  Everything looks fine. Your hair is fine.  You look fine.  Can we just go now?


Because I’m a man, and this is, after all, the year 2010, I will share equally in the housework.  You just do the laundry,  the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,  and I’ll do the rest…. like wandering around in the garden  with a beer in my hand, wondering what to do…or sit in front of the TV with my remote and a beer.