Endearments are only appropiate when intimacy, familiarity, time and experience have developed, otherwise they are insulting, condesending and rude! When people who have never even met me in person, or barely know me call me “Sweetie”, “Honey”, “Sugar”, “Darlin”, or variations of my name as in, “Annie”, it makes me want to explode! It’s so condescending, rude, presumptuous, over-familiar and crosses personal and respectable boundaries.
A man who does this to a woman is trying to take control as in you are less than me, I am in control, you “little sweetie”, so do as I wish, like me, love me, have sex with me, go to dinner with me… just plain you are such a “sweetie” that I am going to over power you and get you to do as I want and as I deem. Many men who do this have insecurity and control issues and by calling a woman endearments prematurely makes them feel powerful and in control when actually they are weakened, rude and fools. It shows a lack of respect to refer to someone out of their name that you barely know. It’s way too familiar and crosses personal boundaries.
If a woman calls another woman she doesn’t know well or if they are the same age, something like ‘sweetie’, it’s nothing but pulling rank as in claiming she is higher up, more important, in charge or knows more.
When I hear premature, unwarranted and unwanted endearments it makes me think of a drunk sitting in a bar referring to female servers as “sweetie.” Or some vile, overweight, drunken man sliming around somewhere like Vegas referring to women, he has just met, as “honey, lover, baby, sugar lump”. Makes me want to gag!
My Mother was from the South where people tend to greet others in this manner… but never someone that you don’t know at all. And men who use these endearments to ‘try’ and be ‘familiar’, in order, to create a false sense of intimacy to ‘get there’, before ‘getting there’ is even on the radar are just plain clueless dummies. And it’s the biggest turn off. So get a clue, it’s an insult to call people endearments, unless, you are in a real relationship, or you are 20, or more years older than the person … darlin’!
A granny or grandpa calling a little child “sweetie” is endearing… otherwise save all endearments and pet names until a time when it’s acceptable as in, you are in a real relationship with the person and have had the time and experience for endearments and pet names to be developed naturally because then and only then are they acceptable, meaningful and worthy.
So, unless you are my granny, don’t call me sweetie!