Category Archives: EXPLOSIONS

Can insecure fearful people…

love another for genuine reasons?

Insecure fearful people are overly focused on self and what they lack and what they are trying to gain in order to feel better about themselves. So can they genuinely care for or love another? They are most always looking to fill themselves up in some way, instead of giving to another and to, at times be able to fill another up.
Love is about what you give, not what you take.When an insecure fearful person does give, they most always have a need, even must feel like they have some kind of gain or reward in it for themselves, or it isn’t worth it to them.  When, or if an insecure taker does give, they are more concerned that others see what they did and that they get approval and applause for their giving, rather than to be focused on just the pure pleasure of giving to another. Their innate insecurity creates an inner need to make everything about themselves. Many times, their insecurity leads them to be controlling of others.

Momentary pleasure with a temporary feeling of security are only when they gain something or feel good about themselves – so they can pat their needy little selves on the back.  They suck off the energy of others to get through their miserably dark and lacking life, instead of dealing with their inner turmoil, issues and feelings of insecurity. They may even appear egotistical in their words and behaviors to cover-up for their innate insecurity.

They attract to beauty, money, success, status and things that they ‘think’ will rub off on them and give them a brighter facade or image – in order to build up their insecure ego. 

In a love relationship – there will be a circle of giving and receiving and at times, one may need more than the other because of life circumstances, etc. – but when, or if one begins to feel drained, used and taken for granted – in ‘aware’ love, the other will sense this and connect with them in comforting love – as in hugging, touching, nurturing, or a look in the eyes. But an insecure, needy, self-serving, selfish person will rarely if ever recognize need or lack in another, unless, it serves their self-interest to do so – as in they will gain attention, prestige, sex, gifts, money, or reward of some sort, etc.

Example: in relationship – you can handle their moods and issues, but they can’t handle yours. And not only that, they ‘expect’ you to handle theirs, and will feel put upon whenever there is a need for them to handle your emotions or moods.
Think the woman who can’t stand it when her husband shows weakness in some area – or the man who negates his tired wife’s need for rest and attention. These people are so overly about having their own needs met through the other, than to truly care for and love the other – with little ability to see, recognize the other person as separate, with their own issues, needs and pain.

If your well-being is overly tied to your partner, you will be internally that of a needy child.
On the flip side, if your partner can’t have a melt down with your support  and understanding then you are not  being there for them – but are there only for your selfish-self and childish needs.  If you expect your partner to be perfect in your eyes and out in the world at all times – think of the pressure you are putting on them. Relationship is a place where you can rest and be rejuvenated, to feel and  know that you will be comforted and cared for when you are not at your best.  It is a place to sustain you when you are down and to lift you up.

If you are too insecure and weak to face your issues and pain, you will deflect and project them onto another – trying to make something wrong about them, in order to make yourself feel better about you. 

Love is a combination of acceptance of another, while having self- awareness and growth at the same time.

There are individual fatal flaws that make relationship impossible as in – cheating, addictions, lack of genuine commitment, need to escape at any sign of stress or conflict, inability to have empathy as in seeing your partner’s side of the situation with understanding. If a person is addicted to anything then their relationship is with the addiction instead of their partner –  that addiction may be alcohol, drugs, food, TV, porn, parental approval whether parent be dead or alive, and material things such as collections, etc.
Relationship is for giving, receiving and ultimately healing and growth both individually and together to equal balance in self and in one another. It takes much self-awareness and a mature openness in both  individuals to merge with another in genuine love and commitment. Otherwise, it’s just playing, like a child does and becomes a game to see who can take and get their needs met in spite of the  needs of the other.

In today’s world, there is much narcissism, selfishness, materialism, self-centeredness, lack of commitment, immorality, inability to self-reflect, lack of ability to look at self in genuine awareness. And because of this lack there are many unhappy, depressed, anxiety-ridden, addicted even tormented people. Immaturity is rampant. Accountability and responsibility are lacking.

There is no relationship without accountability and responsibility. It’s about commitment to self in awareness and growth as well as commitment to one another. This is what makes relationship so rich, worthwhile and life worth living.

In relationship is where you learn about yourself  in ‘relation’ to another human being with the ability to become more and this is even in casual daily passing relationships. Only ultimately and more importantly, it is intensely experienced in the love relationship. You were attracted to another and brought together for a reason and purpose. If you shut down, runaway or escape when it gets difficult or becomes real, you are not only harming your partner but ultimately yourself.

When commitment, accountability and responsibility are negated, put down, diminished, dismissed, ignored and escaped from in our individual lives, we are creating  a distorted, fractured, weak immoral society and  world – wherein self-pleasure, selfishness and self- centeredness rule and ultimately there is much self misery.

Books to assist in awareness and growth DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart – Both available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. in e-book and soft cover.

Extreme feminism is toxic …

Extreme feminism is destroying romantic love along with limiting, perhaps even destroying the balancing of male/female energies on earth. God created male and female  – the perfect complement to one another – the most powerful connect/attraction on earth.  Satan/evil is trying to disrupt and destroy this balance.  Deep in a feminine woman’s heart is the need and desire that she feel taken care of by her man.  She has a deep desire to feel supported by him – to feel held up when she is down – to have strong arms to fall into when her storms of life hit – when she feels anxious, uncertain, fearful, overwhelmed, etc.  A feminine woman wants and needs the strong masculine energy.
Male and female energies balance each other – are different yet equal.  Feminine energy is powerful. And when a feminine woman has to/tries to be the man for herself in a relationship; she becomes drained, angry, stressed and feels as if perhaps, she doesn’t need the male energy after all. Some men have become feminine in their energy and women are losing respect for them. The more feminine the men become, the more in her male energy a woman feels she needs to be. Men become frustrated and angry and so do women when this occurs. Women are behaving like men to try to become and feel equal and it’s making them feel many things, instead of equal. And men are losing attraction to these women and even treating them like men. Women and men were always meant to be equal. They are equal by being who they are – who they were created to be by God. Otherwise, it’s destroying feminine power long with weakening the male power and turning it all into a distortion.
Having a strong, masculine man to spend a life with is the most important thing to an innately feminine women who stands in her feminine power. The same is accurate for a masculine man, he desires the power of the divine feminine as his partner. A masculine man makes his woman able to feel like a girl again – able to feel safe and protected.  A masculine man makes a feminine woman feel great in her body. She doesn’t mind giving up the lead because she feels safe and wisely guided.  A woman may be able to make money, be a success in the world, have children without a man,  even fight for herself, but a feminine woman still craves a masculine man. 
    It may feel vulnerable to admit this, since woman have been brainwashed  into thinking that to need, want, even crave the masculine is not being a ‘feminist’. 

Perhaps, women have been conned to, lied to and have been lying to themselves to believe and think that they don’t need a man. Not to survive, or live or that she can’t take care of herself and her own needs, but that she wants to need a man. Not being or feeling ‘needy’, but because the masculine energy lights her up, holds her should she fall and protects her. Nothing is wrong with ‘needing’. We have been brainwashed into thinking that a woman ‘needing’ a man and a man ‘needing’ a woman is wrong or weak. When needing is  innate and natural. It’s actually only the strong who can allow vulnerability  to one another – vulnerable to someone who is worthy of trust.The weak, insecure and defensive can’t/won’t allow vulnerability.
It’s time to stop listening to those trying to orchestrate the male/female connection/attraction out of existence. Being the divine feminine standing in the heart of her power  will both need and desire a man who takes her places, throws her on the bed, who is an enlighten male – operating from the divine masculine energy who guides her/them and leads her/them in life.
We all slip into different roles at times, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. The divine male will listen to the divine feminine and vice versa. It’s normal and natural – as we have both male & female inside ourselves on varying levels and degrees.
       Being a female,  you can feel whether a man is dominant or submissive. In today’s world, signs that a man is of divine masculinity is that he has a strong male energy. He is not afraid to be dominant and to hold his ground, but just this – does not mean that he can’t have well-developed feminine energy too. He’s multi-dimensional – once referred to as a Renaissance man – oh, how terms for things change.
       Okay – dominate –  but how?
Dominate for some men means being a controlling asshole. Or he may be the rare enlightened male – spiritual, but still masculine. This type of man is rare.  Sometimes,  it’s difficult to  tell the level of a man’s masculinity, so here are some clues:
– When among others and socializing,  a man of weak masculinity often talks in a way that puts other people down. Doing this, shows his insecurity but the real reason is that genuinely masculine men are more centered and focused than to put others down directly or indirectly. To do so shows his lack of ability to focus and lack of direction in his own life. Men with a sense of mission who are focused don’t cloud their brain with gossip and negative talk about others.  Lengthy gossip is something that some women do. There’s a difference between telling it like it is and having most of what comes out be criticism and gossip.  

– People don’t pay attention and aren’t interested in listening when he speaks. A masculine man usually has the ability to engage people and is not afraid to engage others socially to do so. Observe how he is with his friends and in groups of people.  Can ne command respect and space and can allow space for others to do the same.
 –  A masculine man is strong in his choices; and is stable in his own abilities that others’ opinions only count for so much – but he does listen to others – not necessarily adapting them as his own because his choices matter the most. If he’s seeking approval from others, especially women, something is off, in that he is not secure in himself. If he adapts to other’s view points too easily taking  them as his own, he has no sense of self and is easily swayed. If he needs too much reassurance – then he lacks self-trust.  He will go with the group as in the lib/dem masses do. – If he loses things all the time, do you trust him? If his answers are, “I don’t know.” too often, can you trust him?
 Masculine energy is directional – it knows where it’s going and if it doesn’t – it finds out. Masculine energy knows the answers, the how to’s. – Masculine energy is not a complainer. The man who complains about work, his boss, his ex, his mother, his father, his life. the world or  the man who has an injury or mishap and goes on and on about it. And so enjoys telling the story of how bad it is or all was and how it happened over and over again. Complaints – complaints – complaints.

When does he have the time to take the problem at hand and deal with it – or to heal from the past trauma or issue that he carries with him?  Like the man who got engaged in his twenties and the woman cheated on him and in his fifties is still talking about it. When will he ever get over it, heal from it and why is he holding onto it? For sympathy?  For the ole poor me deal? To make his case that all women cheat or that commitment doesn’t work? Perhaps, he’s not even looking to deal or to heal. He just wants to blurt out complaints. This is mostly a feminine thing – being hurt, upset or complaining, because our natural feminine instinct is not to solve problems. but to talk about them over and over. It’s the lifeblood of the feminine to connect, talk and soon we feel better as if the problem never existed.  If a man is more towards the Alpha on the spectrum of Beta, he will not complain, but will solve.
When a woman can trust a man to be a man, a woman can relax and be a woman and this benefits both the male and female.   If a man talks about how bad their ex-girlfriend was, how they don’t have enough sex, how stressful their job is, with complaints about women, marriage, commitment, dating etc. –  they are complainers and may never get past their past or heal from their issues. Real men heal. Real women heal.

Feminists hold onto to issues, don’t forgive and hate. Misogynists hold onto issues, don’t forgive and hate.
Males who blame females for it all. Women who blame men it all are the cause of the male/female divide.Relationship is a place for divine healing…. it’s a gift from God of the true magnificence of the male/female connection/ attraction….
So-called feminism is toxic to both the male and female and our world.

Tools to assist in awareness – FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help

Gaslighting…

Gaslighters – are predators who prey on susceptible, needy, fractured, lost people who are ripe to believe in their false altruism, affection for them and promises for protection to get their needs/wants met.


Example: progressive/globalist NWO agenda pushed by Pelosi, Schumer, most all Dems, NWO progressive globalists, etc.  who ‘pretend’ to care about those trying to enter America illegally – when actually their agenda is onlly for votes, to weaken and eventually destroy America  by overwhelming our systems and allowing for drugs, terrorists, sex exploitators and criminals to infiltrate our country to forever change the atmosphere of the society that we live in All done for their self-serving agenda – to insert the USA into the NWO under the rule of the UN – where all rights, freedoms, the free enterprise system,  property rights, etc. are taken away. Their gaslighting goal is to suck from hardworking Americans to give to those who hate America. Their promise of  giving and protection to those undeserving is only to get votes and support which ultimately will lead to the demise of a healthy economy and lifestyle for everyone in America giving the gaslighters complete control. This is the gaslighters’ goal  – COMPLETE CONTROL AND POWER along with economic gain – with goal to destroy America and suck all resources, which will lead eventually lead to the horror that Venezuela is experiencing now. The only ‘winner’ in a socialist/ communist regime are those in control – the gaslighters.

Gaslighters are ‘most successful’ when they believe that they cast themselves as ‘caring and dutiful protectors’ who are unconditionally invested in defending and protecting their ‘gaslight victim’ – when nothing could be further from the truth. Their ‘act’ is only to extract what they need and want from their victims for their self-serving agenda.

Simplistic example: the player who professes love and caring for their victim only to extract sex, gifts, money, affection, manipulation, energy – narcissistic supply, etc. then when their goals are accomplished their real agenda is revealed which is that of power and control over their victim – nothing to do with love, caring or protection. Then they drop their victim on their head as they move onto their next victim.

Superficial charm and lies are what they rely on and hide behind. While those fractured, lost, uneducated, uninformed and needy, etc. cannot see behind the gaslighter’s facade. A gaslighter preys on the deaf, dumb, blind, lost, needy, weak and ignorant, etc.

Pelosi, Schumer, the corrupted, propaganda media, etc. pander to this level.

Example: THE VIEW – their gaslighting idiocy could only be listened to or believed by those who are emotionally and intellectually blind, needy, weak and stunted – the ill-informed, uninformed and ignorant, etc.

Socialism does not work. You can’t give everyone everything. You will run out of other people’s money into a disaster.  There is no economic sense behind  socialism. It’s a house of cards.  It’s done to suck resources away from those who earned then and give power to those in control as they temporarily make promises – giving false  hope to the needy brainwashed masses. The goal of government is not to ‘give’ or provide for the populous everything they need to live as a parent would do for a  dependent child. The government is not parent to the world. The masses are not children of the government to be instructed about how to live and to be given to with every need met. But the socialist, progressive, globalist agenda is to make the masses totally dependent on them – as if they are the parents and everyone else are children.

Anyone who falls for this sociopathic gaslighting is falling for a distortion – a lie – a con that will eventually end in their destruction possibly even their demise and certainly for America.

We cannot allow all undocumented illegals into our country as if we are some kind of a dumping ground – to do so and we will have more crime and an unbearable sucking of our resources that will weaken us into a lowly weakened status. We should only take legally documented  people with talent, education and skills who wish to adapt to American ways while making their own way in our country – those who will make America strong, prosperous and great.

Nancy Pelosi has made a fortune off the American people and our government – she is a gaslighting self-serving, narcissistic sociopath. If she genuinely cares – why doesn’t she give some of her ‘own money’ to those in her district in need – by building homeless shelters, etc. Why? Because she is a gaslighting sociopathic lying, self-serving greedy pig – a NWO progressive globalist – hell bend on destroying America.

As in Facebook – gaslighting Zuckerberg stated his agenda was for people to have a place to meet and share – an ‘online community’. But he censors those who do not think like his agenda and sells private info to businesses. He is a blatant gaslighter.

Wake up people because you are being gaslighted by the dem/progressive/NWO globalists for their agenda to weaken and  take over America – the country you live in.

NWO progressive/ globalist gaslighting goal is to take away everything from you – your freedoms, your rights, your guns, your resources, your house, your property rights, your freedom of expression and speech, your right to decide your healthcare choices, etc. and insert them all into the NWO globalist agenda under the rule of the UN. 

Social Norming…

People assume then come to believe that a behavior is ‘normal’, the more they are exposed to it even if it’s bad/negative, immoral, or detrimental to their life – mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

It’s the affect/effect of hearing and seeing something repeatedly – it becomes ‘imprinted’ upon/in an individual’s mind and they may even carry it in their innate energy to forever change them.

Children from 0 – 7 are the most impressionable – followed by teenagers and young adults. This is why advertisers and those wishing to brainwash, focus on these age groups. Repetition of propaganda imprints people and has the possibility to change who a person naturally is – to even hate themselves and their life and what they believe –  as that may be the very goal. Once a person hates themselves then they are easily manipulated to do as directed by government – advertisers – self-serving interest groups – the medical and health fields,etc. because they have been made weak, easy to manipulate and more willing to give their self-identity and self-authority over to others.

People who have been fractured – have been abused – have never developed a strong self-identity – whose boundaries have been crossed and negated – are uneducated – ignorant of facts – who feel lost and like they do not fit into society, or perhaps, even to be on earth –  and some don’t even feel like they fit in their body that God created for them – fall prey to ‘Social Norming’ more easily than a self-confident – emotionally intelligent , self-aware and secure person with clear mental, physical and emotional boundaries.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Family makes a big difference in the security of an individual – that a mother and father are both present – that a family unit is intact.  Education that teaches an individual to think instead of brainwashing for agenda – religious/spiritual training and education that stresses the Ten Commandments – that an individual spends time reading instead of mostly watching agenda-filled TV programs, movies and listening to soul destroying music full of negative messages and words; such as rap some rock, etc. The energy in music can either lift a soul up or tear it down. Music carries a vibration and can be very harmful to body, mind and spirit when discordant and disruptive vibrations are listened to and felt too often.

Sexuality is being introduced to children way too soon  and this is to pervert the child – have the child indulging in sexual activities before they even realize, or understand what it is. Sex is sacred and to introduce a child to it too soon is to pervert the child – crossing the sexual boundaries of a child is a sin and it weakens them to be further taken advantage of.

Leviticus 19:29 – Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.

We as a society need protect our children from viewing violence, sexuality and other forms of depravity .


Matthew 18:6 – But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.


3 John 1:4 – I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
Then comes the ‘political correct’ censorship to stop people from sharing their true and real thoughts. To fit in, you must speak and write the ‘accepted’ way or for example, you will be put in Facebook jail – or called a racist or homophobe, etc.

It’s all part of Social Norming…  to make the masses think, act and live as they are directed by those who will benefit from them doing so.

It’s the tearing down of society – the tearing down of morality, standards, values, health – mental, emotional and physical.  The drug companies and  medical field make tons of profits pushing drugs and tests, etc. Do we really need all these drugs or preventive tests? People need use their natural instincts to decide, instead of giving their power completely over to a ‘Doctor’. The Social Norming’s purpose is to override natural God-given instincts to make the person easy to manipulate and control. So pretty soon, ‘everything’ will be decided by the government, the drug companies, medical institutions, etc. – with the individual forced to go along with the ‘norm’.

Common sense, individual instincts, the ability to think – reason, morality, manners are falling to the wayside as  government control and the ‘facade’ of individuality takes over. Individuality is being pushed but it’s a false front for – you must accept everything even that which you detest in order to be ‘politically correct’. Therefore, in truth – your rights, freedoms and individuality are being hijacked by Social Norming.

We have a right to think as we choose and to like what we like and to not like what we don’t like. And we also have the right  to express as such. Taking that right away, unless you conform to Social Norming is nothing but complete control of your mind, body and eventually your soul. And that is what EVIL wants – complete control.
Good/GOD wants you free to choose… But the Social Norming is trying to get rid of God/Christ – freedom to choose – from society – to mesh us all into what ‘they’ want us to think, believe and worship. Social Norming wants us to worship government, to do as advertisers direct especially the drug companies and to turn away from family  and traditional male/female relationships bonding and commitment into sexual perversion, depravity, loss of morality, etc. Where our boundaries are crossed and broken to form a mass collective easily controlled by a few – the agenda of the progressive/globalist NWO. Social Norming is a capturing of souls – a true and certain hell on earth.

For awareness: Read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help, available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and on this website to become aware of how imprints are instilled – including a process to assist in releasing them. Self-reflection is key to awareness and freedom.

Please God – save America from Satan’s hell….

As I am out and about where I live, an upscale community in a great state and because of its economy has attracted many from other states and many – way too many, foreigners –

What used to be a refined, elegant – well-dressed and groomed community has been turned into a mess of too many different cultures and people with different values that do not mesh. Of course, people from other countries add texture to a community, but too many and those who do not wish to support our culture or align with our values – are here only to suck off of us economically can harm even destroy a community.  They want what we have in America – in my state – our prosperity – our freedoms, while also wishing to and trying to change us into where they left or escaped from.  

‘Tolerance’ has become the mantra and religion of the secular left/progressive/globalists – when nothing can be called wrong then nothing is right.

Suicides are increasing 64% among young people – because many are lost, have no direction – even concerning their sexuality. Immorality is the standard and when  you cross those physical boundaries at a young age – you change a person forever – weaken their essence and that is what the left/progressive/globalists want — a weakened – controllable populous.

I see fat people at the grocery store frantic to buy tons of food – with their baskets loaded – ill-groomed with swollen bodies.  Many people are not groomed properly – have no pride in appearance – are just looking to fill themselves up in some manner or way – in any way so they won’t have to feel the truth of self. I see frantic people searching for more stuff to buy to try and fill up the holes in themselves – their empty souls. The search for escape is everywhere.

A young girl with purple and pink hair practically walked in front of my car – causing me to slam on my brakes, in a parking lot because her brain was so fogged over that she was not alert to where she was walking.

I see a brain dead fogged over society searching for something outside themselves to try and find meaning in their empty souls – greed – money – things – escape – immorality – perversions, etc. are ruling the day – instead of mental health – fit bodies – alert minds – clear eyes- smiles on faces – human connection and interaction.  Of course, there are the mentally/emotionally/physically well mingling in with these zombies – as  we catch one another’s eyes that meet in our questioning, ‘Where in the world did these people come from? What is happening to our community  – to our world?’

Christmas is a time for introspection – for honoring the birth of our Savior…

Food and presents are  fun… and a part of it – but not the reason… or meaning…

I am tired of see foreigners in my community – and hearing foreign languages and accents…

We are America – sure, we are a melding pot of all countries, but we have allowed too many in who do not want to assimilate and have such different values and cultures that it’s very uncomfortable.

Manners, class, style, refinement, elegance are leaving us. Many of our youth haven’t clue what these things even are – it’s become all about acquiring things, greed, escape, sex, momentary pleasure, at any cost, no self discipline or delayed gratification or morality as these foreigners charge too much for services and products to suck and swindle the American people. 

Fast food – swollen bodies – little no grooming – no pride,  style or elegance in dress, baggy – ill-fitting garments – some look like they are wearing their pajamas – I guess, too fat to wear real clothing – unfriendly, dead faces as they hurriedly search for stuff to fill them up so they can get back to their sofas and idiotic brainwashing for agenda TV shows.

Men want to suck off of a woman’s feminine energy in any way he can without honor or commitment. Women hate men for who they have become – weak, feminized and useless as a protector and provider. Men then hate women because they have had to become masculine to survive without male protection. Sexes hating one another and some are so confused they are changing sexes… it’s hell on earth and not as our creator designed it. God created male and female. They are not the same but they are equal – both have their distinct purpose for being.

So as I view the craziness and confusion in our world today. I pull into reading the Bible – into quietness and solitude – physical movement for health – focusing on positive up beat thoughts – instead of the darkness that evil is injecting fast and furious into our world.
I pray for us all – God bless America. May God give us the power to take America back from evil. Merry Christmas to all!!

The face of the Democrat/socialist/progressive party – the victim…

Image result for Photos of Christine Blasey FordDemocrat party is the party of victims, weak women – weaker men…

The democratic party – the party of man haters, women who hate men, think they are all liars and should die – especially, if they are old and white.
Actually – the lib/dem/progressive women, I do know and that’s very few – really do hate men and, or have children by them – never married them and the men do not take care of their children. Ummmm – I wonder could the women’s choices have created this and their hate of men – or is it actually their hate of self? Even the cool gay men I know are Conservatives, and of course, they love men, and women. Women – not so much – except for make-up. fashion tips, emoting and gossip. So that it’s the Dem Party – a party of man hating women and of course, those who are gay. Is Pocahontas gay? Does she hate men? We know Killery uses them or murders them and prefers women – wasn’t there a big ‘to do’ that she had a ‘thing’ with Okko Ono?

I have been a victim of sexual harassment – I addressed it immediately – took the man to court – he settled with me – I am not a victim. I addressed it – then released it and all the negativity that it carried from me. I am a strong Conservative Christian woman.

To remain a victim is to remain a fool – to remain tormented – wallowing in self-pity – eaten up with pain rather it be lies/fake/ or real – it’s a form of self-torment. It blocks happiness, joy  and the feminine glow from your face and body. The opposite of what ‘feminism’ is ‘supposed’ to stand for and be.

To allow others to victimize you – you are a fool – and not living in your power.  Isn’t that what the ‘feminist’  movement is ‘supposed’ to be about –  feminine power – equality – equal pay for equal work, etc. Instead, what I see is it  being  used as a victim movement.

I AM NOT A FEMINIST! I am an internally strong woman – processing life experiences and events  as they come and go in my life – then choosing what to keep and what to let go off.

In Part Four of my book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – is a process explaining how to identify your feelings  related to imprints and beliefs and how to process through them – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual places.  Someone please – get this book to Blasey-Ford –

tImage result for Photos of Christine Blasey Fordhe big pathetic victim face of Dem/lib/progressive victims… whiny child voice so obnoxious – it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Democrat – the victim party!They live as victims, create and use victims for, and to implement their agenda of control. They divide to conquer for their agenda. They create victims – want to keep them  as victims  in order to use the hell out of them – blame, blame blame others – side step, lie, deflect, avoid responsibility – say you’re a strong woman while behaving like a weak whiny child…. and all those big bad white men did it.. BOO HOOO HOO!

Makes sense, doesn’t it that Obama was the first VICTIM president.

Life is drama! Drama is life!

“I don’t want any drama in my life.” This blind and mostly idiotic statement is often used by people who want to minimize their partner’s legitimate concerns – or who are uncomfortable – even fearful of addressing and expressing their own emotions and feelings. Perhaps, because it is too painful for them to do so. Being thus, they are uncomfortable when observing others express theirs.  While, for example – they watch movies to experience ‘orchestrated’ drama and sports events to experience the highs and lows of winning and losing.

The word ‘drama’ – used in the context of, “I don’t want any drama in my life’ is actually an inappropriate use of this word.

What is drama? In the arts – there are five parts to drama – plot – character – thought/ action – music and spectacle.

In literature, it is comprised of comedy – satyr – and tragedy.

So in life, if you don’t want drama – does that mean, you don’t want passion in sex, excitement and emotion while watching sports, or feelings and emotions while experiencing beautiful or engaging music or art?

Drama comprises everything in life – not just when someone says it’s okay to feel or experience it.

The drama in life is what makes life worth living! It is the humor – tragedy – pain – joy – sadness, happiness, etc. In life, we are meant to experience all emotions  – that is why we have them – as they are triggered by people and life events. Life is  comprised of drama. If you try to avoid the drama then you are avoiding life and ultimately yourself- actually it’s even a kind of denial of your soul.

We are on earth to experience the drama of our feelings and emotions both the so-deemed good and the deemed not so good.  So, if you believe that you don’t want drama in your life – think again.  Do you want a lifeless, emotionless partner? Do you want a lifeless, emotionless life? Along with the good, comes the so-called bad…. when actually, it’s all good – it’s LIFE! The polarity of the ups and downs are what create the tension in life that keeps us energized.

If you are afraid of drama then you are afraid of life and living fully. If you don’t want drama then perhaps, you are afraid  and living in fear of your own feelings and emotions – especially that of feeling your internal pain. You are afraid of feelings – of truly living – to the depths of pain to the highs of joy. If you avoid pain – you will have less, perhaps even little chance of feeling joy.

Oftentimes, those who state, “I want no drama in my life.” Are the ones who actually create the drama in their life and in others. They very well could be passive/ aggressive – as they say and do things to trigger situations and emotional reactions. Then when the situation escalates or the person reacts – they stand back and point their finger away from self – as they state, “Look at how dramatic you are. I don’t want drama in my life.” Then they turn away – thinking they are superior in some way, since they don’t want and don’t think they have drama in their lives. When actually, it’s out of their denial that created the drama in the first place, but they want/will take no responsibility for their words or actions – the very words or actions that created the drama. They project their need for drama onto others to be acted out before them – since and because they can’t acknowledge it in self, or they have a deep fear of expressing their own feelings and emotions. So, if you have lots of drama in your life and don’t like it – how about looking at yourself to understand why.

It could be that their family of origin didn’t share personal feelings and if this person did, they were criticized for having them, told they were wrong, or even ignored and negated. Therefore, they  shut down and learned to related in a stunted and toxic manner- creating and projecting drama onto others – while stating that they don’t want it.

People like this are full of suppressed feelings and emotion –  they are stunted, stuck and may not have been taught by example or otherwise, how to express and process their internal feelings and emotions. They are fearful to walk into their own pain – so they try to keep it outside themselves.  But to live fully and gloriously – you will experience all the levels of drama. It’s the motor that keeps life alive and worth living. Of course, there is a spectrum of drama – so it’s all about living in balance. So for God’s sake – for your sake – live – feel – emote as appropriate – live in the truth and freedom of your emotional and intellectual self, so you will not be tempted to stunt yourself with addictions.  So, you will not harm yourself and others – so you will live free and at choice.

DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR -memoir/self-help – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual online places. In Part Four are tools to assist the reader in finding and identifying their feelings and  emotions then explains a way to process and release the negative beliefs and limiting imprints. Release the negative so you can experience it all – facing the pain can burst you open to joy. It’s the divine process of really living and genuinely feeling so you can arrive back at peace, love, and joy!

Those moments and times of perfection…

…how  wonderful and fleeting they are. You know those moments and times when the house is clean – all errands done – everything is calm and peaceful in your world as you sit in bed sipping iced coffee in calm – talking to loved ones – etc.  Or cooking, as you  create a meal for those whom you love while sipping wine – sharing and talking . Or after a vigorous workout when your physical, mental, and emotional bodies are drained and cleansed  with endorphins flowing. Or after making love to the person you love laying peacefully together. – eyes meeting – skin touching breathing in sync.  Or watching a sunset – walking beside the ocean as the waves pull in and out.  Sliding into clean fresh sheets after a long day or getting out of a warm shower – wrapping a big soft towel around you – all clean and relaxed. It’s peace. It’s calm. It’s goodness, happiness and  complete joy all wrapped into one! It’s Heaven on earth. These are some of the kind of moments that  are perfection to me.

We all have our variations of the perfect moments in time.  Those moments that ‘still us’ into what it means to be truly happy, peaceful and content. Those moments for the most of us have to do with people – the giving, loving and sharing, our communication of self and gifts of self to others.

Then the world shifts – something breaks – the car – the dishwasher – there are more errands to do – things to clean and wash – irritating even horrible news about something happening in the world, a tooth aches, tummy hurts  and the moments and time of perfection  seem to fade way even to cease – as a seemingly irritating kind of hell emerges –  as we do what is needed to  try to make our way back to that place of peaceful wonderful.

We live on a planet of dualities – good and evil – nothing stays the same – it shifts and moves from pleasant to troubling – perfection to irritating – it always has and always will. And realize it or not – this is a positive thing – this shifting and changing from peace to turmoil is what keeps us striving for more of the perfection of the peaceful good. Striving for the good – those moments in time of perfection – can be a wonderful stimulus for experience, learning, growth and change. So actually, it’s all good – all  in the perfection of God’s earth. Therefore, love your peaceful perfection as well as  the perfection of your irritating, struggle, challenging and striving turmoil. I know and  well understand, easy to say when all is well, and not so easy when all is out of whack and in turmoil. Never the less, try to recall  and know – because this too soon will pass — Our perfect moments help us to keep on going through the irritations, pain – hell. And our challenging times help us to be grateful for the times when we are in joy and bliss – our individual Heaven on earth.

It’s all as God planned it – just for you. It’s why we are here on earth.  A book to read for awareness, processing and healing as we travel through this challenging and wonderful life. It’s available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble – all the usual places and also available on the front of this site.

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1532879066&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air 

Two-faced, smile to your face, talk about you behind your back…

Polite and nice to money. Rude otherwise and looks down upon, even shows disdain for those with less than, or in poverty.  Judges people by their car, house, clothes, etc.  instead of their character. They don’t even know what ‘character’ is  because they have none – so they can’t recognize it in others. Will do anything – lie, cheat, steal to achieve the image, position or appearance of control or power over others. Mistakes having power and things as greatness.

Say one thing then  they do another. Say words or act in ways to manipulate for their use or gain. Nice, courteous and kind to people when selling something – be it a service or a product but uncaring, dismissive even rude otherwise. try to extract value for self from people, places and things with no regard to what they might do to harm.

Men who tell  lies to get a woman into bed. Women who flirt and compliment to make an oaf feel like a king for her gain – doing so, only to manipulate and with ill-intent instead of worthy intentions.

I have observed and become more aware of  this kind of behavior in our world today. This is why, in my opinion there is so much depression, anxiety, addiction, harm to self and others. There is a lack of respect for our fellowman and  ultimately ourselves.

I am otherwise, I was taught otherwise and choose to live otherwise. My words and behaviors reveal who I am, not only to others but to myself.  My word is my honor and my bond. I can be counted on to do what I say, or I don’t say it. So many people these days cannot be counted on for anything much less their word.

What I do in private, matters as much as what I do in public. Of course, I have been known to say what I think – which means, I don’t lie to myself or others.  There are  these concepts called – truth – honesty –  responsibility and accountability.

I try to live by the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Do I lose it at times and mess up? Of course! But this serves me also,  to become more aware of my behaviors and how they may affect others including myself. It’s called ‘self-reflection’ and ‘self-awareness’. We won’t grow, if we don’t have both in our emotional and mental selves.

If we are not becoming more aware in our lives, then what is it we are actually doing? Accumulating stuff – screwing as many people as we can – and on multiple levels –  taking  instead of giving? Look into the eyes of people who have done this in their life even for their entire lives with little to no awareness.  Oh, then of course, some know exactly what they are doing and these are the evil ones. And these people  have dead eyes which reflect their internal selves

Look at the eyes and faces of the Clintons – they are perfect examples. Bill is only 71 and he looks as if he is 171. 

Today so many seem to live by the motto – ‘Screw others before they screw me’.  They will say  or promise thus and so and if they are lying or change their mind and it inconveniences or harms another — so what? Their motto is –  ‘It’s ‘me’ that matters, not them’. What value can I extract from another. They are all about self and this is why they are so internally twisted and unhappy, seeking any and every thing to numb out their torment and misery.

We have become in many ways a selfish, narcissistic society. And that is why so many are unhappy, turn to drugs, alcohol, stuff their selves with food, buy too many things, sit on the sofa watching TV or playing computer games, watching porn, having sex with people only for sex, stare at their phones – texting or surfing the internet even when in the company of others.  Living behind a facade of cars, clothes, fitness routines  – so concerned with ‘image’ – they forget  their internal/eternal self – when reality is – nothing is fit or right about them. Or  they may live in a fat, unkempt body, wearing ill-fitting sloppy clothing, lazy and slovenly  while, thinking nothing matters,  including their appearance, while being envious even hating those who appear they are ‘really together’ – but  who inside may be also dying.

There is a concept called balance – both  inside and outside. The inside will reflect on the outside in some manner or form.

Those who indulge in these behaviors ‘think’ they are putting something over on everyone  else, but what they are really doing is harming themselves, even going as far as to be rotting their soul. Who – they are conning – is themselves. They are choosing to live by no standards, disaplines or morals, but that of self-gratification and all this does is to make a person selfish, self-centered, internally alone, even though they may be surrounded by others – bloated and fat – possibly catch STDS for having sex with many – and because of selfish self-indulgences  they lose their ability to love and care for others and therefore, lose their own individual humanity, just for the purpose  and sake of their momentary attainment and  pleasure of fake power and things. Image is actually nothing. It’s the internal reality that matters.

When you are true to yourself is when you will be true to others. and this has to do with integrity in body, mind and spirit and this comes from continual awareness of self as it relates to others and your relationship with yourself. Self -awareness and self-reflection are keys to happiness.

A book to assist in awareness:

 https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1528307660&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+Throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

 

Violation of First Amendment Rights…

Facebook – and others are censoring conservatives at their whim and at rapid pace for doing little to nothing. Some in social media do not want the truth out or any differing opinions that do not support their communist/progressive, NWO agenda. Therefore, ‘FB jail time’, blocking and banning are happening more and more often.

FB put me in jail for 30 days for a post that I wrote years ago and it was not anything but my opinion about how ‘some’ homosexuals behave which is my right to have and to express. So now, FB is going back in time to find anything that they can to shut  up conservatives, Christians, white people  and heterosexuals.  Anything  against DACA, Muslims, Sharia Law, illegals – post anything about an aspect concerning gun control, homosexuals, transexuals, women’s march – women who wear vaginas on their heads – being in support of President Trump – anything against Hillary, Dems, progressives, NWO are deemed as going against ‘FB community standards’. While FB allows verbal abuse of conservatives from terrorists,  gays, dems, muslims, lib/dem/ progressives, etc.  and allows them to post horrible even threatening things and not be censored. FB allows all sorts of perversions to be displayed and if you are against them – you are thrown into FB jail and ‘punished’ – censored – as if you are some school child.

Censorship for agenda must be stopped. It is against our First Amendment Rights and is why our forefathers stated it as such – in order to curtail censorship for agenda before it begins and to allow freedom of speech for all – not just a few.  When people are not allowed to express differing opinions then we are under a communistic rule and dictatorship coming from some in the social media, etc. 

Political correctness is nothing but Censorship.  ‘PC and so-deemed hate speech’ are being taken way too far and being used as control of free expression and free speech.   It’s for the evil agenda of perversion and control of the masses.  FB  even wants an app for children – so their agenda can be imprinted as early as possible – so addiction to technology and  that brainwashing can begins earlier and earlier – the sick twisted desire of rule, dominate and control to implement their agenda over the masses.

FB should be cited, sued, fined, etc. for curtailing freedom of speech and expression.  According to Zuckerberg, FB was started as a place for people to communicate and share expression. Now, it’s become a place to promote Zuckerberg’s agenda as he censors anyone against it –  curtailing FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS for those ‘they deem’ going against ‘their agenda’. FB is un-American, about control and about ‘their’ agenda while they make money off ‘everyone’ who uses their communistic-run site. People are punished at FB’s whim without due recourse or way to communicate. Those in protest are not even listened to – I have contacted FB hundreds of times, after I have been thrown in ‘their FB censorship jail’ and no one  ever responds.  zuckerberg resolution 2017 mark 5 1500x1000Being on FB is like North Korea –  being on there, we are under the dictates of a  wimpy little dick-ta-tor of control, arrogance and agenda. Zuckerberg is now creating a household computer- ‘butler’- like robot and he has made it so that it only listens to his voice and not his wife’s. This man is an out-of-control dick-ta-tor and needs to be thrown in jail for being a traitor to American freedoms.

Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg are a menace to a free society. He curtails freedom of speech and freedom of expression and uses his site to promote progressive communism  to try to weaken America, flood her with illegals, muslims  and refugees who hate our country, in order to created chaos – thus enabling  the progressive agenda of control to insert a weakened America into the NWO under the rule of the UN – where all rights will come through them and they have control over all earth’s resources, land, property and people.   Completely against freedom – all about the evil of control.