Category Archives: Humor

The affirmative action, ‘President Obama’, ‘experiment’ has been a complete failure…

And for best acting in a fraud on all Americans…

Obamalies2I asked my broker, “Should I move to precious metals, foreign currency or what?”

His response, “If the current President is in office much longer, canned goods, water and ammunition are probably your best bet.”
ObamaFactsQ: What’s the real problem with Barack Obama jokes?

A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and….
the rest of us dont think they are jokes.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~ Clarence Darrow

If an unqualified nobody like Obama can become President then truly anyone can and I don’t think that is such a good thing… how about you?

Look to the left and click to follow …

A Fun Political Quiz…how savvy are you? …

Listed below are 10 actual quotes. Try to guess which politician said them.

The choices are: Former Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin, Former Vice President, Dan Quayle, Current President, Barack Obama, Former President, George W. Bush  …

Ready? Here we go!

1) “Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s.” A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

2) “I’ve now been in 57 states I think one left to go.” A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

3) “On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes, and I see many of them in the audience here today.” A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

4) “What they’ll say is, ‘Well it costs too much money, ‘but you know what? It would cost about the same as what we would spend. Over thecourse of 10 years it would cost what it would costs us. (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We’re going to. It. It would cost us about the
same as it would cost for about hold on one second. I can’t hear
myself. But I’m glad you’re fired up, though. I’m glad.”
A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

5) “The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.” A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

6) “I bowled a 129. It’s like – it was like the Special Olympics, or something. A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

7) “Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by our
Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than
selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court
are granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who
appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying
principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most
difficult questions of our time.”
A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

8) “Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the
emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking
up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave
them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a
breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. I haven’t had much
sleep in the last 48 hours.”
A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

9) “It was interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is
not that different from the United States Senate. There’s a lot of I
don’t know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing.”

A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

10) “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.” A. Barack Obama – B. Dan Quayle – C. Sarah Palin – D. George W. Bush

Each correct answer is the same person, ‘A’. Yes, all these quotes are directly out of the brain and through the lips of President Barack Obama. So now, we know why he brings his tele-prompter with him everywhere he goes … even when talking to a 6th grade class. And yet some members of the media continue to insist that he is, “The smartest man ever elected to the Presidency”. HA! HA! HA!

If Obama had such good grades, since he is so ‘brilliant’, why doesn’t he show us his academic transcripts? UMMM….

A Woman’s Poem:

     ???????????????????????????????  Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.

Will pull out my chair and hold my hand.

Massage my feet and help me stand,

Oh, send a king to make me queen

A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other.

And will relish visits with my mother.

A MAN’S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course and loves to send me fishing and drinking. And if this doesn’t rhyme, I don’t give a shit.

Words of Wisdom…

“Well, you see, it’s like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest, the ones at the back, that are killed first. This ‘natural selection’ is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the ‘entire group’ keeps improving by the regular killing of its ‘weakest members’.  

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, ‘excessive’ intake of alcohol kills brain cells. And ‘naturally’, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer (champagne, cognac, or wine, etc.) eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  

And that’s why you always ‘feel smarter’ after a few beers (champagne, cognac, or perhaps, wine).”

I thought we all needed some ‘real’wisdom after all the idiotic news this week…

Survival of the fittest at its finest…

(A friend shared this with me and Cliff Claven on the sitcom, ‘Cheers’, is where this wisdom derives.)

Geography of a Woman….

 Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa .. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
 Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe ..
 Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
 Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain… very hot, relaxed  and convinced of her own beauty.
 Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece…
 gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit..
 Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a
 glorious  and all conquering past.
 Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel…. has been through
 war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
 Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada.. self-preserving, but
 open to meeting new people.
 After 70, she becomes Tibet…Wildly beautiful, with a
 mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages….. An adventurous
 spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
 Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran , ruled by nuts.