“I don’t want any drama in my life.” This blind and mostly idiotic statement is often used by people who want to minimize their partner’s legitimate concerns – or who are uncomfortable – even fearful of addressing and expressing their own emotions and feelings. Perhaps, because it is too painful for them to do so. Being thus, they are uncomfortable when observing others express theirs. While, for example – they watch movies to experience ‘orchestrated’ drama and sports events to experience the highs and lows of winning and losing.
The word ‘drama’ – used in the context of, “I don’t want any drama in my life’ is actually an inappropriate use of this word.
What is drama? In the arts – there are five parts to drama – plot – character – thought/ action – music and spectacle.
In literature, it is comprised of comedy – satyr – and tragedy.
So in life, if you don’t want drama – does that mean, you don’t want passion in sex, excitement and emotion while watching sports, or feelings and emotions while experiencing beautiful or engaging music or art?
Drama comprises everything in life – not just when someone says it’s okay to feel or experience it.
The drama in life is what makes life worth living! It is the humor – tragedy – pain – joy – sadness, happiness, etc. In life, we are meant to experience all emotions – that is why we have them – as they are triggered by people and life events. Life is comprised of drama. If you try to avoid the drama then you are avoiding life and ultimately yourself- actually it’s even a kind of denial of your soul.
We are on earth to experience the drama of our feelings and emotions both the so-deemed good and the deemed not so good. So, if you believe that you don’t want drama in your life – think again. Do you want a lifeless, emotionless partner? Do you want a lifeless, emotionless life? Along with the good, comes the so-called bad…. when actually, it’s all good – it’s LIFE! The polarity of the ups and downs are what create the tension in life that keeps us energized.
If you are afraid of drama then you are afraid of life and living fully. If you don’t want drama then perhaps, you are afraid and living in fear of your own feelings and emotions – especially that of feeling your internal pain. You are afraid of feelings – of truly living – to the depths of pain to the highs of joy. If you avoid pain – you will have less, perhaps even little chance of feeling joy.
Oftentimes, those who state, “I want no drama in my life.” Are the ones who actually create the drama in their life and in others. They very well could be passive/ aggressive – as they say and do things to trigger situations and emotional reactions. Then when the situation escalates or the person reacts – they stand back and point their finger away from self – as they state, “Look at how dramatic you are. I don’t want drama in my life.” Then they turn away – thinking they are superior in some way, since they don’t want and don’t think they have drama in their lives. When actually, it’s out of their denial that created the drama in the first place, but they want/will take no responsibility for their words or actions – the very words or actions that created the drama. They project their need for drama onto others to be acted out before them – since and because they can’t acknowledge it in self, or they have a deep fear of expressing their own feelings and emotions. So, if you have lots of drama in your life and don’t like it – how about looking at yourself to understand why.
It could be that their family of origin didn’t share personal feelings and if this person did, they were criticized for having them, told they were wrong, or even ignored and negated. Therefore, they shut down and learned to related in a stunted and toxic manner- creating and projecting drama onto others – while stating that they don’t want it.
People like this are full of suppressed feelings and emotion – they are stunted, stuck and may not have been taught by example or otherwise, how to express and process their internal feelings and emotions. They are fearful to walk into their own pain – so they try to keep it outside themselves. But to live fully and gloriously – you will experience all the levels of drama. It’s the motor that keeps life alive and worth living. Of course, there is a spectrum of drama – so it’s all about living in balance. So for God’s sake – for your sake – live – feel – emote as appropriate – live in the truth and freedom of your emotional and intellectual self, so you will not be tempted to stunt yourself with addictions. So, you will not harm yourself and others – so you will live free and at choice.
DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR -memoir/self-help – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual online places. In Part Four are tools to assist the reader in finding and identifying their feelings and emotions then explains a way to process and release the negative beliefs and limiting imprints. Release the negative so you can experience it all – facing the pain can burst you open to joy. It’s the divine process of really living and genuinely feeling so you can arrive back at peace, love, and joy!