One important indicator of character is how a person handles situations and life in times of stress, when they are criticized/confronted or experiencing failure; in other words, when things don’t go their way and all is not rosy.
Pressure reveals who someone is at their core and what coping skills they have or don’t. Those with strong character compose themselves with grace, dignity and kindness, no matter how bad it gets. Going through difficult or hard times never gives reason to act like a jerk. And, a person with strong character won’t always make it about themselves, while selfishly disregarding another’s view or opinion. They don’t have their head stuck up their butts, unable to see anything outside of their own box and bleak reality, and because of that they know how to forgive, let go and go forward.
Strong character is fueled by integrity, honesty, fairness, kindness and strength. Therefore, consistent actions of egotism, victim-hood, fear, anger, jealousy or imbalance are not sported, because a strong character has no need for those except, perhaps, for a few weak, dark of the soul fleeting moments.
It is human for someone to handle things the wrong way at times, but the sum of our actions is what defines us; not our occasional words or displays of doing the wrong thing. And a person of character will realize when they have behaved or acted wrongly and will apologize or correct their behavior. Apologies not excuses.
Don’t listen to excuses like “Well, these were special circumstances,” or “I have been going through a hard time.” We all go through hard times now and then. It doesn’t give us the right to lash out, to insult people or take our moods and attitude out on them. If a person can’t or won’t eventually see and own what they have done to harm or hurt another, they will not grow in character nor will they change.
Anyone who notoriously sports moody behavior, who can’t be trusted and requires a constant tiptoeing, i.e. censorship of one’s actions or words is not worth it. Persons with character, own their ‘bad moods’ and recognize when their behavior is less than it should be and if they can’t and always make excuses, well then you have seen who they are.
Any relationship, personal or professional, requires a consistent flow of giving and taking. When things are always off balance, it is time to reevaluate if it is worth continuing interaction with that person.
Unhealthy souls enjoy wallowing in stress, drama and pain. They are never in a space of true happiness; they don’t know joy and any success they may feel is short-lived. The glass is always half empty for them, no matter how good they have it, or what happens, because they have long lost, or maybe, never even learned the ability to enjoy anything in life. They have come to rely on their own misery, worry and lack of anything good to define how their life unfolds.
Those I have met amazing people of character who have lost a great deal in life, but you would not know it, when you first meet them. They have endured great hardships or pain and within all of that have learned not to take things for granted and to appreciate people and situations more, while complaining and whining less.
They have learned to be kinder and more patient because they know how it felt at some point and time to be on the other side of the spectrum. They have learned what truly matters in life. What is it that decides why some who endure pain turn into monsters, while others turn into heroes? It’s their character.
And most importantly a person of character does not blame… they take responsibility… this may be the corner stone of character, the ability to take responsibility.
The character of a person defines who they are and everything about how they live.