Category Archives: Sex

Excerpt from FEAST OF MEN ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’

Startling me, the pilot kneels down in the aisle right by my seat then with a large smile and in a Southern drawl asks, “Are you from LA?”  I laugh silently in my twisted humor. Um, he must think I’m the hijacker. The winking pilot continues looking up at me talking all Southern and gentlemanly like. “You look like someone I used to know who lived in LA. I just wanted to see if you were her.” 

I think, what an overused line, but I look down at him then answer, “I live in Dallas – actually, just outside of Dallas and you look a bit familiar also.”

The pilot looks up at me with his eyes locked into mine. “Oh really, well, I’ve got an empty seat beside me.  Since everyone else is watching the movie, would you like to sit with me and we can chat?  I’d love to talk more with you, but can’t stay here kneeling in this aisle.”

I respond, “Okay – why not, since everyone else is watching the movie.” As I think – nice brown eyes, appears a bit overconfident, but a Southern gentleman, besides I’m bored and can’t seem to sleep. So, talking with him might be a distraction to pass the time. I get up and follow him to where he’s sitting.

He has an aisle seat. There’s a woman by the window. So, I slide into the middle seat then look back.  The lady where I was sitting is yelling and motioning, but I can’t hear her.  So, the gallant pilot goes back to retrieve both my water and Diet Dr. Pepper. Apparently, the lady couldn’t get out of her seat with my tray table down.  I didn’t bring anything with me because I thought I’d only visit with the winking pilot for a short while.

FEAST OF MEN – One woman’s magical mysterious, nightmarish, adventurous journey through men on her quest to have a better understanding of the male energy on her search to find genuine and everlasting love. Just as life brings her the masculine offering of a chance for love, along with experiencing another aspect of herself in reflection – her heart is disappointed even broken. She then is  given the opportunity even forced to heal, as she becomes even more aware of the masculine energy and her relation to it, along with a deeper awareness of her imprints and beliefs. As she travels forward on her journey, the pieces come together, break, then come together again offering her the ability to become more aware and whole.
What if Eve was leading Adam to the opportunity to experience all and every dimension of life? The feminine as it relates to masculine and masculine as it relates to feminine. Male and female rubbing souls against one another for the possibility and benefit of what love creates and heals. And this is exactly what God intended – in the full power of ‘his knowing’ – that only a woman would be able to entice a man to do so. God, after all created the serpent along with the opportunity for choice without which there would be no dark defining light challenges on earth.

Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other usual places.
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FEAST OF MEN – ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’…

There must be a plan…

But we’re fools to think we have total control over our destiny. There may be choices, but the universe has its law of physics – seems most things can’t be interrupted.

As if we’re fragments of a broken mirror with the magnetic chemistry of the powerful male/female energy compelling the pieces together.

Our individual reflection in the mirror is our soul-coded-blue-print urging us to find emotional wholeness.

Endless opportunities are offered up to recognize the negative ‘painful’ aspects taken in from our ancestral lineage with the goal of integration.

The powerful allure is the quest for self-knowledge, love and validation.

The ability to feel all our emotions in honest evaluation then to incorporate each reflection shown – we will arrive at our soul’s wisdom – which may be our true life’s journey on earth.

If brave enough to walk through each aspect striving for the unification of the male/female along with our shadow and light, the magic of our soul’s destiny will be unveiled.

  As increased inner truth is acknowledged, the pieces puzzle together. Our mirror becomes clearer as senses expand revealing our current essence through which we have the ability to experience more.

Just as our hearts become free – another piece emerges forcing the image to crack once again, re-adjusting with the offer and possibility of a more magnificent reflection than we once could have ever imagined.

And the process continues, if we persistently choose to overcome the dark and are granted the honor to carry our light to others reflecting the purity of our souls as we journey our way back home…

‘Life’s mirror is friend to a wise man and an enemy to a fool.’

To order signed first edition soft cover – FEAST OF MEN ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’

Sexual pursuit, harassment, assault …

ann-smile4About twenty years ago, I was visiting a friend in Manhattan Beach. He was invited to a party at an actresses’ house in the ‘Hollywood area’ because of his business association with her. So, we  attended. I knew no one there, but apparently, I resembled some wife of a studio head so I was greeted as if many knew me or thought they did.  I was outside admiring the lagoon when a world famous, Hollywood elite – actually ‘acting royalty’ – as in from a  family acting dynasty, actor approached me. I had seen him in many movies and on TV and liked his acting.  He was friendly, talkative and began flirting with me. I knew from the tabloids that he was not divorced from his first wife, although they had been separated for years. He was seen dating many and was known to be a womanizer.  His flirtations to me were flattering – I guess. But I disengaged from him.  No way was I interested in dating a womanizer, still married actor. Yet, everywhere I went, he was close by watching me. Men, such as this, when they set their eyes on a target and are not successful, just keep at it. He approached me again and again. Gave me flattering compliments – asked if he could take me to dinner. To which, I responded, “You are still married. I don’t date married men.” To which, he stated, “But the divorce will be final soon.” I said. “Call me when it is” Then laughed and walked away. Clearly, being the top actor that he is, he was not used to being rejected. He touched my arms, tried to hold my hand, put his hand at my waist, like he was trying to appear as if we were a couple and I was his.  He leaned in as if to try and kiss me and I turned my head. He tried to corner me, by moving forward forcing me to step back against a wall, so he could have my full attention and be in control. I stepped away and disengaged.

My friend  and I left the party – going onto another. The next day, this actor called my friend inquiring about me. Asking if he and I were a couple, asking all sorts of questions about me. My friend told me that this actor was smitten with me and would fly to Dallas to take me out. To which I responded, “I do not date married men, no matter who they are!”

Get it ladies? You set the boundaries. You know when a man is leaning into kiss and you can easily step back or turn your head or talk loudly to embarrass him or even scream, ‘NO!’ So that others hear.

These stories I am hearing about Trump sound like bogus lies to me. All coming forth at this time, for political agenda. That one woman’s story of being on an airplane and saying Trump was all over her. I call BS! At his first attempt, all she needed do was say I am not interested and get up. Yet, she says something like if his hands had stayed above the waist, well, then she wouldn’t have been so upset. Really?  If any of this is true, it shows that she allowed him to touch her so he kept on. But I think this whole thing is a made up lie to correlate  with the leaked Billy Bush tape.  It’s a set up!

So what if Trump likes beautiful women and approaches them?!  It doesn’t mean he disrespects women but admires their beauty. And as far as him forcing a woman to do something she is not interested in – I doubt that very much.  

The above actor, I mentioned was an ambassador to some humanitarian political organization or some such. He is high profile. He is married again and has children in the home. How stupid and idiotic would it be if I came out and said what he did to me at a party? It would be incredibly inane.  He is a good actor and a fine person in most regards. He just pursues women that he finds attractive – SO WHAT!?

Sexual harassment and assault – I  have had this occur when I was asked to write a book with a man in the financial industry. He was married and lived in my neighborhood. I knew his family and was acquaintance-like friends with his wife. He came onto me verbally  during our book collaboration. I would ignore his stupid comments then finally it was too much when he grabbed the pearls   around my neck and pulled me to him. I pushed him away and left. Then I called him on the phone telling him that I would not do this project and to leave me alone. And at the time, I needed the money, he was paying me because I was going through a divorce. then I found out that he raped a woman in his office and that he had a history of this kind of behavior – as in other financial institutions that he worked for in his past had settled  with several women who made sexual harassment accusations against him.  I filed a lawsuit to break the contract between us and I did it immediately. I didn’t wait. I did it the very next day. He was very well-known in our area as am I. So it made the paper big time. It went to trial. He settled with me.  And during that time, they tried to say I was crazy and everything else to disparage me and it did not work. I was telling the truth and I prevailed. His wife divorced him.

I have been through enough things such as this to know what is real and what is BS. Men come onto women they find attractive and this is very different then sexual harassment or assault. Women set the boundaries. They say, ‘no”! Disengage or file a lawsuit immediately, if it really is sexual harassment or assault.  They do not wait 30 years and come out just before an election to whine and say he groped me or he ‘looked’ at me or whatever these bought and paid for accusers are doing.

About Trump looking at the women in the beauty pageants. At one time, Trump went on Howard Stern and he put it out there as he beat his male ego-driven chest about sex and women. At the time, he was not running for President … he was a novelty kind of reality show guy. Many years have passed. So again, I say so what?!

Do I like the way Howard Stern and others talk about women? No! It’s lame, immature and rank. Men like this have the need to beat their chest and say these things. It’s males being idiots!  Most men talk this way about women to one another, at times, bragging,  beating their chests as if to claim… ”  I am man hear me roar!” I say … who cares?! Be an idiot.

Wise women see right through what this is and disengage.  And men can grow up and change. SoTrump and Melania 2me don’t like Bill Clinton did not, but I believe Trump has. And also that most the women coming out with their stories and accusations just weeks before the election are bought and paid for, ‘you know what’s’ to do so. Otherwise, were it true and so traumatic, they would have dealt with it at the time as Clinton’s victims did to which Hillary further victimized them. 

Trump is my choice for President. I believe he, his knowledge and expertise are what America needs. Hillary’s  agenda along with all  lib/dem/progressive  is to lead us into the NWO under the rule of the UN. With this kind of duplcitious leadership – America will be no more.

I write about women respecting themselves and setting their boundaries.  Hillary Clinton/dems/libs/progressives respect no one but their agenda – especially women, blacks, minorities, etc. They use them for her cause and benefit which is for more power and wealth for the NWO and those who will benefit from America’s destruction.

Trump is going against their agenda so they are against him. Making America great is the exact opposite of what they want, no matter what they say. They are liars, crooks, progressive communists.

Trump2

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Shades of Grey = dysfunction, not sexy, damage, boring, bland, blah!

nightshirtpolkadots1I didn’t read the book, but saw the movie…

All it was is a depiction of a damaged child/man who can’t connect in love, therefore,  uses control and domination through sex  to make himself feel. He projects his damage and pain through punishment onto women in order to escape his own.

It was more sad than sexy. In fact, nothing about it was sensual or sexy. There are more and more people  today who are damaged as this man is depicted, who can’t look at self long enough to heal, who go from person to person focusing on sexuality for escape, thrill and the high and even when given the chance at connecting with a loving person is too emotionally damaged and fearful of becoming vulnerable to connect.

Love,  passion and commitment are what makes sex, sexy. Sure games can be fun and taking it to individual fantasies and edges can be exciting on occasion, but that in itself means nothing and lasts less than that.  Most mature adults recognize and understand this, immature, inexperienced youth won’t and don’t and some will see this movie as ‘cool’ showing things to try before they are emotionally and sexually developed which can then lead to distorting their perceptions of sex and love.

I found nothing sexy about this movie. I found it pretty boring and blah. The actors while attractive had no chemistry and that is another aspect that makes sex, sexy… chemistry along with personality.

To me, this was a psychological study of an emotionally damaged man.

At least, in the movie, she left him. I think so anyway. I exited to the ladies’ room several times, I was so bored.  But he soiled an inexperienced and pure person to his perversions.

Now, what would have made it interesting is, had love been able to break through his damage and pain, to break him open to real love. But he was too damaged, weak and fearful,  just like some in the world  who can’t commit and focus on sex, instead of  love, emotions and feelings.

I have no idea what all the ‘to do’ was about this story. I found it mundanely  dull. I know that’s redundant but so was the movie.

Why women like it, might it be that the thought, idea and fantasy of a ‘powerful/successful’ man taking control in the bedroom, and, or in their life, might be appealing because now days,  so many men  seem to have lost their manhood and are looking for a mother. And a man looking for a mother has no sex appeal. But in actuality,  the  sad, damaged man in the movie needed to be mothered, in orde,r to heal and possibly be able to love.

In a real enduring relationship, each person plays all the roles of male/female respectively…  as in intimacy, healing, growth, vulnerablity, empathy, strength, weakness, sex, sensuality, child, parent, teacher, student, lead, follower, depending on time, place and circumstance, etc..

Nothing is more sensual and sexy than an emotionally strong man who can take control in the bedroom, but ‘control’ is a shared two-way experience and a man who is too weak and insecure to let a woman take the lead to balance out the experiences is not sexy for long.

In my opinion, there were not many shades of grey in this movie, there was only one and it was blah!

Gender confusion… ?

???????????????????????????????If this offends anyone, sorry… as this is my opinion.

God created man and  woman to complement one another and their respective physical bodies display this clearly… to reproduce, comfort one another, have companionship and family.

Why all this gender confusion? Is it hormones in the food, drugs, big pharma, and, or recreational drugs, psychological or sexual abuse, or what?  Because it is not natural to the nature of our bodies. The children of the hippie generation seem to be the most confused and it’s just gotten worse since then. Did the recreational drugs their parents took cross over  the placenta and affect their hormonal make-up and genetics? Because it’s become bizarre like some freak show on earth.

I have interacted with homosexuals in my life because I was a ballet dancer and in the interior design fields for years. Those I knew blended in and didn’t choose to make a spectacle of themselves.  Those that I talked to in depth all revealed they had been sexually abused as children by those of the same or opposite sex,  had psychological or physical abuse from one or both parents and on a deep level had both disdain and envy for heterosexuals. It is known that when a child is over sexualized or sexualized in a perverted way it can affect them their whole life as to choices and self-esteem as their fragile boundaries are crossed when they are still in formation and an imprint is made on their mind, body and spirit. Open a door to evil and it walks right in. That is why we need to protect our children from perverted imprints being placed on them  from any level.. movies, TV, politically, in society, and in the home.

Children have a special place in God’s heart and anyone who harms a child is inviting God’s wrath upon himself.
Sexual abuse or molestation is particularly devastating and is soundly condemned in Scripture. Warnings against sexual sin abound in Scripture. To force sexual acts upon a child is a horrible, evil offense. In addition to committing a sexual sin, the perpetrator is also attacking the innocence of one of the world’s most vulnerable persons. Sexual abuse violates everything about a person from his or her understanding of self to physical boundaries to their spiritual connection with God. Perhaps, that is why evil is attacking human beings so intensely on this level  and at this time.  In a child, boundaries are barely established so that they are altered for life, and without appropriate help may not ever heal.
Psychological and emotional abuse are also forbidden in Scripture. Ephesians 6:4 warns fathers not to “exasperate” or provoke their children, but to bring them up in the “training and instruction of the Lord.” Harsh, unloving verbal discipline, emotional manipulation, or volatile environments alienate children’s minds from their parents and render their instruction and correction useless. Parents can provoke and exasperate their children by placing unreasonable requirements on them, belittling them, or constantly finding fault, thereby producing wounds that can be as bad as or worse than any physical beating can inflict.

Today, many gays are like side shows in the way they dress and act. It’s circus-like in its distortion. Many years ago, I was in Key West and witnessed for the first time women with women, and men with men openly flaunting their choice, bizarre behavior and dress. I found it humorously amusing  while it also made me feel like I needed to take a long shower to wash off grime after viewing their perverted depravity.

In the days of the caveman, were there men who wanted to be women and women who wanted to be men? Without the injecting of hormones, plastic surgeries, cosmetics, and clothing this change is not possible.

As a child, I was a Tomboy. I climbed trees, wore dungarees, ran around the neighborhood barefoot and dirty, at that time, the dirt didn’t bother me. I even climbed to the roofs of houses that were under construction, more daring and risk ready than many of the little boys in our group,  but when I went to Sunday school I wore a dress and never once did I wish or want to be a  boy. Then as I began to mature, I became more feminine, concerned about my dress, and cleanliness, no spots on my dresses,  pretty and well-groomed became my desire, even though I was still into sports, and, of course, ballet.

About a decade or more ago, I was out to dinner with many girlfriends. one friend had invited her decorator and she brought along her ‘girlfriend’. The decorator looked butch with a short hair-cut along with a manly attitude and mannerisms and it intrigued the rest of us. We started talking about homosexuality. The butch-girl said she could tell just by looking at someone, if they were gay or bi. She would look around the room and point those out she ‘deemed’ as such. We found her bizarre,  really off, but entertaining in a sordid way. Then she turned to me and my friend and said we had the possiblity to be if we were open. We both laughed, as this woman proceeded with her manipulative BS. It was as if she wanted to make everyone like her. We clearly had no interest and while it was humorous in its way, it was also demeaning and insulting that this dyke was trying to turn two very feminine women into her prey. She was crossing our boundaries with her manipulative, self-serving verbiage. She was a homosexual predator.  I wonder, how many of those with weak boundaries who have curiosity or confusion fall for this kind of manipulation and try something that they are not and have no interest in?

What has happened to our society that so many are confused about their gender? If you have a penis you are a man, if you have a vagina you are a woman. Nuff said!

“Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.” Luke 17:28-30 (KJV)
Leviathan spins the web of fog to blind peope to the truth.  Good is seen as bad,  bad is seen as good, truth is seen as lie,  lie is seen as truth, because that is the way and agenda of Satan’s destruction.

What would your take and reply be…

birthdaypresent9to a man who stated more than once, “I am the boss in bed.” And also that he likes to throw a woman around in bed. And also that sex isn’t worth it, unless it culminates in orgasm…???

Is he a control freak? Does he dislike women? Does he like to dominate in bed because he feels his life is out of control elsewhere? Is he a ‘soon to be’ abuser? Is he a sex freak? Is he just plain freaky? Is he unable just to enjoy touching without the ‘goal’ of orgasm? Might he become cruel and dangerous in the bedroom and elsewhere? Is he all about ‘sex’ and not about feelings, caring and love? What might he be afraid of? Why would any man be afraid to let a woman have a say in the bedroom and take the lead at times? (unless, he’s a Muslim, Ha! Now, that is one practice that is clearly scared to death of feminity, a woman’s power and their desire for her.) Might a man who says such things be of a similar mindset? A fearful, internally weak male, too insecure to enjoy a woman taking the lead, or being ‘equal’ and in control of her own body and what happens in the most intimate of times of physical sharing.

birthdaypresent1Sure, we, women, like it when a man is assertive and takes charge in bed, by the way he holds, supports, and knows his way around a woman ‘s body with sensual technique… but sharing control in the bedroom is what’s sensually fair and actually exotically arousing… and what ‘real man’ with the emphasis on ‘real’, wouldn’t ‘enjoy’, instead of being ‘threatened’ by a few surprises from his lady? None, that I know of…

And while rowdy rambunctious sex can be fun at times, also is slow and sensual … it just depends on the mood…

So, what would be the mindset and internal story of man who makes such statements?…

After all, sex is a shared activity of pleasure… sure games can be fun… but a man who ‘announces’ he’s in control… instead of showing his lead… umm… what is that really?

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I am a juicy, sensual, feeling, sexy…

AJulybed2c4romantic creature. I am a woman… 

I am soft, alluring on the outside, but strong and resilient on the inside just enough to be able to protect myself.

A woman’s body is softness and curves… she is about feelings, emotions, nurturing, caring and love…

Show a feminine magnificence the highest of your manly traits and she ‘might’ bestow her feminine gifts on you…

A woman needs a man to be a man and that is strong on the outside with just enough softness on the inside to know compassion, caring and love.

“I am intrigued by glamorous women . . . A vain woman is continually taking out a compact to repair her makeup. A glamorous woman knows she doesn’t need to.” Clark Gable

Hey! And by Gable’s quote, I am glamorous, too. I don’t wear face make-up, so certainly don’t need a compact. Ha!

I am a woman… a glorious woman! And I am capable of an intimate, passionate relationship… Are you?

Abusive men, Muslim men and other oppressive, insecure, immature, hateful and so disposed characters… don’t know what they are missing until and unless they learn how to treat a real w-o-m-a-n… I’ll say it again… Woman!

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Do you have the ability to love truly and deeply?…

???????????????????????????????Can you love? I am talking romantic love here, the love between a man and woman.There are different kinds and levels of love.. friendship, parental-child, love of God… 

But do you know what real love is… the love that can only be experienced between a man and a woman in a romantic bond and enduring love because of the nature of their beings and their respective bodies?
A man gives and a woman receives

Love is deep affection and caring for another. Love is to care and nurture for the well-being of another. Love is kindness, consideration, respect, trust, compassion, forgiveness, sharing, understanding, tolerance, commitment, awareness of needs and desires.

Love is not sex. Sex is not love. Sex can be and was meant to be an expression of love in the physical body… to bring pleasure and release and in that closeness and release it’s possible that another human being be created. A child created out of love is a blessing from God.

Sex ‘can’ be an expression of love, but sex in itself, is not love
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If you think sex is love, you are lost. Mistaking sex for love can lead to much unhappiness, frustration, loss, pain and despair.

Love endures… being able to dislike the person you love, be irritated by them, argue with them, see them through their ups and downs, help them and, at times, put their needs before yours, is what love is about… but only if this is done in return… as love is a circle.

Love makes you vulnerable and many are too weak to allow themselves to be vulnerable.

When you are emotionally intimate, you share your wounds, your pain, your vulnerabilities and if that love is shared with an equal, one who has the ability to truly love, they will protect you in this regard. But an insecure, weak, immature, manipulative predator will use your vulnerability against you to their advantage and gain.. and this is not love, and should be seen for what it is and gotten away from as quickly as possible.

It’s my opinion, that until a man has a child, he may not even have a real knowing of what love is. Because until then, many men mistake sex for love, and behave accordingly and when the rush of the sex excitement diminishes, or wears off, they think that ‘love’ is gone… when it was never there in the first place.

Then the children born from a love, or children in the home, should not be put before the love between the man and woman. Children learn how to love by observing their parent’s love relationship. The bond is clearly between the two adults with the children being just outside that circle to observe and learn with the reflection of the love bestowed and showered onto the children. This observance is what makes a child feel really loved,secure within and with the knowledge of how to express love, give love and live with another. The parental example and modeling imprints a child for their whole life.

Love really begins to grow when sex takes its proper place and perspective in the relationship…

Love is commitment, honor, respect, trust, enduring, pain, happiness, joy, friendship,

perseverance, growth, communication…And it is not for the immature or insecure because they can’t handle it, nor do they deserve it. Immaturity and insecurity wreck havoc in the love relationship. Love and relationship are for the mature and secure… those with the capacity to become aware, grow, learn, accept and reflect.Love endures. Love is making a life together where both are satisfied and honored with the room to express themselves, together and individually.

A man protects. A woman nurtures.. A man creates a safe place for a woman and she blossoms. Together with their strengths and weaknesses, they thrive in joint effort and creation.

Jesus treated His mother and all women with the deepest respect. We honor all women by showing them the same love and respect that Jesus showed to women.

Women have been abused and put down by men–sometimes very crudely and cruelly. But Jesus is the perfect man, the man God wants every man to emulate. This is the kind of man God wants every woman to know in her life.

The highest reach of what love is on earth ….the merging of the male/female… 

Do you agree or believe differently?
Do you have the ability to love truly and deeply? I know I do.

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