Category Archives: Women In Real Life

Politics, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Typical psychopathic behaviors and traits easily seen in Obama…

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Psychopaths believe in their own greatness (Obama, ‘the annointed one’)

Psychopaths display arrogance not confidence but arrogance ( Just listen to Obama talk and watch him walk then that cheesy grin)

Psychopaths promise but don’t deliver (Obama has done this his whole reign)

Psychopaths crave excitement and want to live in the fast lane (Obama’s continual vacations, association with Hollywood  and rock/rap types, drugs, smoking, traveling to Saudi Arabia as a college kid with apparently no money)

Psychopaths get a thrill out of having their sex partners in close proximity,  or even to meet,  and even enjoy it if their sex partners fight.( There have been continual rumors of Obama’s sexual liasions, past and present with both sexes. Think of his public flirtations with the blond Danish woman while sitting next to his wife)

Psychopaths are interested in three things: Power, control and sex(Definitely describes Obama)

Psychopaths enjoy the thrill of dangerous sex(Bathhouse Barry)

Psychopaths try to make people feel sorry for them (Obama whining or targeting, when soneone makes fun, insults or disagrees with him)

Psychopaths can’t take criticism (Clearly Obama can’t. He whines and attacks anyone who stands against)

Psychopaths figure out what people want to hear and tell it to them (If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it)

Psychopaths shower their targets with attention(All his fundraisers and dinners)

Psychopaths talk about “destiny.” (‘Hope and change’ transformation of America)

Psychopaths buy affection (Obama phones, food stamps, etc than ever before, benefits to illegals)

Psychopaths co-opt the target’s support system (Obama’s take over of most the media)

Psychopaths isolate their targets(Obama bad mouthing conservatives instead of working with them)

Psychopaths divide to conquer  (Playing the ‘race card’)

Psychopaths are bullies. They manipulate and threaten (Obama stated  he rewards his friends and punishes his enemies, IRS scandal)

Psychopaths sponge off of other people (Tax paid for vacations, continual fundraising)

Psychopaths ingratiate themselves with others( kissing up to unions, businesses and anyone else Obama can utilize for votes, support for his agenda, and, or for donations)

Psychopaths are great listeners,  in the beginning. They ‘pretend’ to care in the beginning, but can and often become cruel as it plays out

Psychopaths lie to deceive for agenda  and lie even when there is no clear reason(All Obama does is lie)

Psychopaths prey on people’s trust. They manipulate people by their individual human need to trust, to love or have empathy for others(Think the poor illegal children flooding across the border)

Psychopaths feel entitled to do what they want and to have what they want when they want it (Expensive vacations and playing while the world is in chaos)

Psychopaths convince or may even extort and threaten other people to illicit their defense of them (Think Obama and the media and his lame SNL-like spokes persons. He threatened to take Greta’s job if she continued to talk about Bengasi)

Psychopaths are overly nice in the beginning. It’s not until they ‘think’ they have their prey that their true colors are revealed (Obama’s second term, it’s clear he doesn’t care. He is busy playing and fundraising while chaos reigns. Obama is enforcing his agenda as fast and ruthlessly as he can)

Psychopaths will never admit to being wrong or owning up to mistakes and errors in judgment (Obama continually blames, deflects, and spins)
Psychopaths do all this with no remorse because they have no conscience. They only feign empathy and compassion as it suits them.
They mimic real human emotions. They don’t really feel anything. They are actors. (Think Obama and how he slides into talking with a Southern drawl when he thinks it will benefit him)
So when something appears too good to be true and when much is hidden ( as in better healthcare for all with less cost and pass the bill to find out what is in it) you are hearing the words/promises of a psychopath. They prey on the weak, needy and ill-informed.
So when you observe or hear things such as this… reflect, what is it that you are wanting, or needing from them, and is it even a possibility that they can deliver?  Many times, if  you use your intellect and intuition and not get  caught up in emotion, you will be able to see through a psychopath’s con.
Certainly, others on the public stage and  politicians fit this criteria. Hillary and Bill Clinton sure  do.

,Q˜ËŒUse this list on others on the public stage along with  those in your life to evaluate …

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Relationships, Self-help, Women In Real Life

A man leads a relationship….true of false?…

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???????????????????????????????And if he is corrupt, crooked, a liar, or weak, he can lead it off its path and onto the road to hell…

Is it even possible for a woman to lead a relationship? Sure there are weak men, but a woman can’t create it on her own and she can’t make a man love her and do the right thing for them both. Sure she can encourage, support and be his cheerleader… but in the final outcome… it is a man who creates a relationship for the good or not….

Agree or not?

Now I understand that a woman can do things that destroy a relationship also…

But in the final result.. there will and can be no relationship if a man doesn’t lead.

Is this why we have so much divorce, broken homes and messed up kids? Because many men these days aren’t up to the challenge and responsibility of a relationship, commitment, and life with responsiblity to another or others….?

I think so…

As a man leads and a woman follows… that’s the basic nature and natural order and when we go against it… it just doesn’t work out as well. Sure it can be done… but the outcome is not sympathico as it is when a man leads and a woman follows..

And saying this, a man needs a woman as much as a woman needs a man. Just because he leads doesn’t make him ‘better’. It makes him have more responsiblity to the woman that he loves….more on his shoulders… that is if he is a real man.

And many men these days just don’t seem to ‘get it’  and their not getting it is causing the downfall of  society.

As a woman, if your man can’t lead, won’t lead, doesn’t lead, find another…. you are better off alone than with a leech, a loser, a con, a follower, a liar, a man without direction, a man who can’t love, a man who is all about himself, or his sports and activities, an addicted man, or a selfish man…


A selfish man does not make a good lover, partner,  friend or father.


Women protect and guard yourselves from a man who can’t lead….and, or one who will lead you and your relationship off the road and into a ditch…. 
Women In Real Life

I would not want anyone’s life, but my own…

59bday2I am content with who I am, what I have, and the life that I have been given with all the experiences in it. I am an individual created from my environment, genetics and blood lineage from ancestors.

And ladies and gentlemen, I have been through one heck of alot… and only by and with the grace of God landed on my feet and smiling…

I have been so low that I thought I would not survive. My second husband whom I loved dearly was an alcoholic.

When we met, he was an executive with an oil company in the eighties. Then oil crashed, he pared down and got into real-estate, but it was a rough emotional ride. His partner in the oil business committed suicide. While we were dating, I got pregnant and had an abortion (the most difficult and wrong decision of my life) About Abortion…

We sailed at the lake, partied and had a great time while dating. I was building my interior design business. But after we married and life ‘became real’ … his drinking became too much for me to handle. He would lose his car, sleep in his office, and once, when I was helping one of my designers write up an order, while sitting at our dining room table, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my drunk husband wearing his business suit, crawling down the entry hall towards us. It was continual drama and chaos with this man and I detested it.

He promised to stop drinking, tried, failed, then tried again. Finally, I could not handle it any longer and I kicked him out of the house by court order.

Doing this broke my heart … I cried, cried and cried.(think Diane Keaton in ‘Something’s Gotta Give’, but about 10 times more) I sat on the floor of his closet with his perfectly lined up suits, just so many inches apart (Mr. GQ was emphatic they be such) and whaled in my suffering (but even in my intense pain, I had the awarness that I was fortunate to be able to feel and to love so deeply).

I filed for divorce and during this time discovered that I needed emergency surgery to have an ovary removed. I was frightened into the core of my being and wondered if this was punishment for my having an abortion. I did want to have children and….

What should have been a relatively uneventful operation turned into a nightmare. The physician cut an artery and I lost a very large amount of blood. I had not signed a release to be given blood because it was during the time that AIDS was being discovered in the blood reserves. And the doctor told me that I didn’t need to ask my family to donate blood because the operation would not call for it. But it did.

During my recovery, I was so weak that I could barely walk across a room. I was used to being a fit as a fiddle ballet dancer and instructor. And now, I went out for an ice cream cone, it exhausted me. I was weak, going through a divorce and so alone… so alone….so, so, so alone.

During this time, one night, I was lying in bed, feeling as down as I have ever felt in my life, weak, like a failure, too tired to work, looking liked death, thin, pale weak and felt worse than I looked, broken-hearted, aching and wondering what was to become of me.

I don’t recall, if I was reading the Bible, or had it on the bed near me. But resting back on pillows filled with intense pain, I felt a cool breeze blow directly and purposefully through the middle of my chest near my heart. At the same time, I felt love fill me up in such comfort that I can’t put it into words, I jumped up and searched to find where this cool breeze came from…no windows were open and there was no source that could have created this.

I rested back into bed, but felt differently. I felt relieved, comforted, and my energy for life was re-emerging, as much as I was perplexed concerning what had occurred. I had an innate knowing that it was a message from God, my angels, guides, someone of comfort to let me know that all will be okay.

I picked up my Bible and it opened to Psalm 27… The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? … While I read the passage, the knowing of what occurred became anchored solidly into me. It continued to sustain me through my time of healing and even to this day, I have the imprint of this memory as a comfort.. as a sure knowing that I am not alone.

I have written two books. This is a small piece in the story of the second one. The first one I am readying and will be sharing excerpts with you soon….

Some people, these days,seem to want to be someone else. They are envious of the life they ‘think’ others live, instead of being who they are. But no one really knows what goes on in the lives of others no matter how it may appear on the outside.

Your life is yours, an expression of all that you are and will become. It is what makes you individual unto yourself. All that you experience is for the growth and healing of your soul. Be not envious of others. Be glad of who and what God has blessed you with to experience. None of us are the same… we are all unique individuals…and each life has its unique path with blessings, trials and challenges…

(My ex-husband, sobered up, is sober to this day. and we remain friends. He told me that my decision to throw him out, was the wall that slammed him into himself.)

Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

The Seven Deadly Sins…

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Is the difference between good and evil becoming more apparent and pronounced? I have people sharing with me that it is and I have noticed it also. That many are seeing evil intent in those that they once thought were of good intentions. That some people are showing their true colors …. that the seven deadly sins are rearing their evil heads in the clarity and intention of what they are loud and louder in our world. 

Deadly Sin
Opposing Virtue
Brief description
Pride
Humility Seeing ourselves as we are and not comparing ourselves to others is humility. Pride and vanity are competitive. If someone else’s pride really bothers you, you have a lot of pride.
Avarice/Greed Generosity This is about more than money. Generosity means letting others get the credit or praise. It is giving without having expectations of the other person. Greed wants to get its “fair share” or a bit more.
Envy Love “Love is patient, love is kind…” Love actively seeks the good of others for their sake. Envy resents the good others receive or even might receive. Envy is almost indistinguishable from pride at times.
Wrath/Anger Kindness Kindness means taking the tender approach, with patience and compassion. Anger is often our first reaction to the problems of others. Impatience with the faults of others is related to this.
Lust Self control Self control and self mastery prevent pleasure from killing the soul by suffocation. Legitimate pleasures are controlled in the same way an athlete’s muscles are: for maximum efficiency without damage. Lust is the self-destructive drive for pleasure out of proportion to its worth. Sex, power, or image can be used well, but they tend to go out of control.
Gluttony Faith and Temperance Temperance accepts the natural limits of pleasures and preserves this natural balance. This does not pertain only to food, but to entertainment and other legitimate goods, and even the company of others.
Sloth Zeal Zeal is the energetic response of the heart to God’s commands. The other sins work together to deaden the spiritual senses so we first become slow to respond to God and then drift completely into the sleep of complacency.

What is the deadly sin that ‘gets’ you the most? Mine is anger… when I am confronted by phonies, lying, cons, sinning, and duplicity… I tend to flip into blind anger…instead of being able to confront it in myself and the situation in a calm manner. I am working on this…

What are you aware of to work on and to transmute in yourself?

Self-help, Women In Real Life

What is appropriateness?…

???????????????????????????????What’s suitable and proper in and for the circumstances.

It seems that this has been forgotten… My mother modeled what was appropriate and what was not by her actions and words. It became innate to my being…

Her comment after coming home from bridge club and Daddy had given her a beautiful ring as a gift. “Several woman asked how much the ring cost. How inappropriate, one never asks a question such as this… it’s the thought not the cost.”

Then she went on to say that some women wear every piece of jewelry they own at the sametime to try and show off.

But these days, the cost of something such as what some ‘star’ gave some other ‘star’ for example the price some ring cost… blah blah! Is all over the media… Nothing is private… It’s all flaunted.

What to wear and when… There is little appropriateness any longer. It seems more like anything goes. And the less worn is the better, no matter where or when. Crassness is everywhere with ill-fitting clothes to no-clothes.

 
Where has appropriateness in behavior and dress gone? 
Dating, Love, Relationships, Self-help, Women In Real Life

To be in a healthy, moving relationship takes a…

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???????????????????????????????secure person…

Because to be in a healthy, moving relationship takes a person who is not afraid to look at themselves and to evaluate, refine, shift, compromise, grow and commit. Also, to be in a healthy, moving relationship takes a person who can endure imperfection in self and others. A relationship isn’t perfect, contrary to what Hollywood presents. It’s an alive, moving, changing and breathing entity between two committed people. Two people committed to one another in the process of individual growth, within a relationship, and including the growth in and of the relationship. 

A relationship is love, happiness, intimacy, pain, growth and change and to maintain love through all this takes a secure person. An insecure person can’t weather the storms…they are too much all about themselves, their comfort, their insecurity, lack, and needs. They are threatened by change and growth in their significant other and in themselves, so have difficulty flowing with change. They, more than not, want to control and hamper because change makes them nervous and feel more insecure.

 
And nothing really begins until there is a solid commitment. It’s in commitment that a relationship begins, is, grows and flows… otherwise it’s just playing. And actually it’s all very exciting because it’s the adventure of a lifetime.

It takes honesty, commitment, endurance, humor, intimacy and … what else?
What more is needed for and in a healthy, moving relationship?
 
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Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

What do you do with your time alone?…

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brickorange8It is such a precious time. Do you recognize it as such? What is it that you do when your time is yours alone?

I enjoy working out, writing, reading, contemplating, being quiet unto myself and close to God…

“The most profound relationship we’ll ever have is with ourselves.” Shirley MacLaine.

 
Being alone makes some people frantic and stressed, others enjoy their alone time.
 
Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. Although nothing is wrong with being lonely. It’s just part of being human. And sometimes, you can feel more alone and lonely being with someone, or even in a large group, than you feel when you are actually by yourself. And that kind of loneliness is the worst.
 
It’s normal to feel lonely when someone you love dies, or after a breakup. And to avoid that feeling is to avoid being human. 
 
Most all of us enjoy companionship, but those of us who need it like a craving may make bad choices in companions. Moving from one bad relationship, or one friend, or activity to another to avoid being alone. Hanging around someone just to be with someone and not alone… to not ‘feel’ lonely is a sad place to reside.  Or those going to packed and noisey places to drown out their aloneness with the distraction of too many people, alcohol and activity, so they can temporarily put at bay the humanity of their aloneness. Or those who are overly busy, running here and there avoiding time for self and reflection.
 
Those who can be alone and enjoy it, oftentimes, can more often recognize a bad companion from good because they can feel and tell by their time spent alone when something is good or not for their well-being. Time alone allows for reflection and to get to know yourself.
 
My Dad was injured in the war when he was young and spent much time alone in an infirmary. He told me it was horrible being hurt and alone. That he had never felt so lonely. I recall the way his voice sounded and the way his face looked when he told me about this and it made me feel close to him that he would reveal this to me.
 
Nothing is wrong or weak about being lonely… And it’s an aware, actually strong person who can state it. Feeling lonely is like all other feelings… sad, happy, angry, joyful…and they are all part of the human experience. It’s a fortunate human who allows themselves to experience all the feelings and the emotions that accompany them.  We are sentient beings. We are on earth to experience and to feel.
 
I talked with a woman who had been married most all her life and had many children. Her life had been filled with many people and much activity and she told me that during that time, she most always felt lonely and that it wasn’t until her children were on their own and her husband died that she felt at peace and not alone. Interesting, huh?…  My take is that finally, she had the time to reflect and to know herself and in the company of herself she was not lonely. What a blessing.
 
I have known people who will never admit to being lonely. It’s as if they think to do so makes them appear weak or something undesirable. Being able to know and state how you feel in any given timeframe with personal awareness shows strength of character.
 
I like being with people and I like being alone. I like being with myself because I like me and don’t need a diversion from who I am all the time. I have had times in my life where I felt like I was never alone. I was so busy with so many around me that I had little to no alone time. It could get frustrating and didn’t feel good… and I was so glad to have sometime to myself.
 
So, if you are alone and lonely enjoy it because it may all change to a timeframe where you don’t have a minute to yourself.
 
If you can’t stand to be alone and experience the feeling of being lonely, why is that?
 
After all, when we enter this world, we are alone and when it’s all said and done, when we die, we do it alone.
 
Think of Jesus alone on the desert or dying alone on the cross. Even with people observing, he was alone.
 
Somethings, you just and must do alone…
 
Do you enjoy your alone time or do you dread it? 
Can you admit to yourself and others when you are lonely or do you deny it?
 
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Self-help, Women In Real Life

Imitation or genuine…?

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???????????????????????????????Imitation or mimic is an advanced behavior whereby an individual observes and replicates another’s behavior. Imitation is also a form of social learning that leads to the “development of traditions, and ultimately our culture. It allows for the transfer of information (behaviours, customs, etc.) between individuals and through generations without the need for genetic inheritance.” The word imitation can be applied in many contexts, ranging from animal training to international politics.

What we have today is that which is more imitation than that which is genuine…
Genuine
1. Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character: genuine leather.
2. Not spurious or counterfeit; authentic. .
a. Honestly felt or experienced: genuine devotion. b. Actual; real
4. Free from hypocrisy or dishonesty; sincere.
5. Being of pure or original stock: a genuine Hawaiian.
6. not fake or counterfeit; original; real; authentic
7. not pretending; frank; sincere
8. (Breeds) being of authentic or original stock
Can you tell the difference between what is genuine, what is mimic and that which is imitation…?
Health/Beauty, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Excess in Moderation…

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???????????????????????????????My grandmother lived to age 97 on scotch, shrimp, cigarettes and iced coffee – rarely drinking water, except as a splash in her scotch. She joked that water would rust her pipes. Her aerobics were a bridge game twice a week and tending her roses. Occasionally, she flexed her gossip muscles, and she was always thin with a zest for life. The only time that she fainted was in the ‘50’s when she went on the new-fangled, ‘expert suggested’, vegetarian diet to lose a few. Other than that she was healthy until the day she died.

One summer holiday, she panicked noticing her grandchildren were eating watermelon and ice cream together. She warned that this combination could make us lose our minds because years ago a friend of hers had gone crazy after eating this mix and had to be put into an asylum. Hearing this story, our childish giggles rang out. But even as we laughed, we also worried that it might be true.

In my early teens, being a ballet dancer, my physical reflection in the classroom mirror became a constant critical adversary. Thin at 5’3” and 90 pounds, every meal was magnified in the mirror of my distorted body image. So, I starved myself, going days without food, until so overcome with cravings for grease and fat. I’d succumb to double orders of fries or a bag of Fritos dipped in peanut butter. This bizarre eating ritual kept my frame fragilely thin, but over time my energy to dance was diminished. My usually glowing skin became sallow and I was irritable most all the time.

Driven by a quest for solution and innate curiosity, while not only wanting to be thin, but healthy and energetic, I scoured through books and women’s magazines about everything concerning health, diet and nutrition. There wasn’t as much written on those subjects in those days.

So on my own, I tried different combinations of foods, using my body as an experimental lab. I found that if I ate only protein, the weight would drop off, but leave me with less energy. Eating mostly carbohydrates, my body stayed trim except a bit puffy, but I had more energy. After trial and error, I found my best fuel was a bit of everything with focus on lean meats, vegetables, and fruits, limiting sugar and flour with intake to match my energy out go, pretty much the same diet that my mother offered up.

Each one of us has varying needs and body chemistry. A vegetarian diet might work for one, but can be disastrous for another. And it’s possible that certain combinations of food or supplements may create the atmosphere for predisposed individuals to become allergic, physically ill, or even go “crazy.” That lady friend of my grandmother’s combining watermelon and ice cream in one afternoon could very well have triggered a unique chemical reaction in her body that affected her mind. Enough so, that her behavior was attributed to this mix which shows that our perceptions concerning food can lead to all sorts of results and misconceptions about what we should or should not eat and in what combinations.

Our current information has become more in-depth and sophisticated or has it? Should we eat ‘expert-suggested’ amounts and combinations? Eat carbs or not? Restrict meat consumption or have more? Dairy is good or dairy is bad? Keep a daily journal about what we consume or don’t think about it at all? Count calories or cholesterol levels? Eat more complex sugars or less? Eat only raw food or cook our food thoroughly? Eat real butter or fake? Eat real sugar instead of chemical based substitutes? Take vitamins, mineral or herbal supplements, or rely that what’s needed will be supplied by eating a variety of foods? Follow the USDA’s Food Guide Pyramid or eat a triangle of pizza? Drink wine occasionally, and is it red or white that’s best, or abstain all together? Take a mysterious little pill that ‘magically’ releases fat from our systems even though a great deal of time will be spent in restrooms? Or eat anything desired and workout 24 hours a day?

Is it about what we eat or about what’s eating us? Eat a little, eat a lot, eat many small meals a day or three squares, eat certain combinations, but watch out for others lest we ‘ lose our mixed-up’ minds a bit more about what to eat? Or should we forget about it all and sit down with a big bag of chips and beer, as it’s all so conflicting, confusing and changing?

How about “Moderation in all things.” Publius Terentius Afer, 190 BC – a recommendation that’s been around for quite awhile. OR is Oscar Wilde’s suggestion best, “Moderation is a fatal thing, nothing succeeds like excess”?

Who really knows for sure, but anyone for some watermelon and ice cream?