Tag Archives: Daddy Throws me in the Air

God/good is freedom Satan/evil is control….

Ever think that Biden respects no one’s boundaries because in addition to his perverted behavior of over-stepping personal boundaries is that in the NWO progressive globalist’s agenda everyone is considered their prey? And also part of the indoctrination into the NWO is that your personal boundaries are crossed making you prone to addictions – sexual perversion and more easily led into more and further perversion. The whole deal is to blur boundaries between you, them and others.  Biden’s behavior reveals how he’s been imprinted. People always behave as they have been imprinted – until they become aware and heal. Biden was/is a blatant alcoholic. There are videos of him during the Obama campaign so drunk that he could barely speak or stand
When something feels and appears creepy – that is usually what it is. Don’t be brainwashed into thinking it’s not. You aren’t crazy for seeing the truth of what something really is and what is really going on. The manipulating, narcissistic sociopaths just want you to feel wrong and crazy – so they can control you.

The NWO considers people their resource to manipulate and do with as they desire – brainwash, control, use – you name it. Just as they want to have control over all land and resources on earth for their exclusive benefit and use. Crossing individual boundaries – sex-trafficking – corruption and perversion of our innocent and helpless youth is just part of their indoctrination into the acceptance of  being manipulated and controlled.  Step by step little by little until, there are no boundaries left – just a blur of the masses into one lump.

Along with the murder of fetuses,  late term abortion and even murder of recently born infants – it all leads to the acceptance that human beings are nothing and should and can be perverted, used, manipulated and even murdered at whim with their organs harvested and bodily fluids used by the so-called self-deemed evil elite.

They are going about it – by their edicts such as  in – ‘The Green New Deal’ blurted out by their bought and paid for by Soros idiot-like scripted Manson-eyed – horse-mouth puppet Chihuahua AOC. She is being used to state it out loud – even in its absurdity – then it will be slowly or as quickly as they can implement by slight of hand – secretively or even blatantly just as fast or as quickly as the brainwashed masses will accept, until it’s forced upon all. As even in its absurdity including the destruction and harm it will create and cause – it’s their ultimate agenda.

The NWO globalist agenda – ‘once referred to as Agenda 21 – now called Agenda 2030’ – is complete control of the planet and all its inhabitants by 2030. Thus, the time frame given of 12 years.  NWO progressive globalists have no regard for human beings, unless it is for their benefit and use. The use of all and everything is meant for a limited few with the rest of humanity considered and treated as slaves of the NWO – which is founded and based in control, manipulation, evil and ultimately destruction – hidden in and behind their false facade  of caring for humanity and under the guise of ‘saving the planet’. This whole agenda will be implemented and coated in the evil intent of control of everything. They are imprinting upon the masses to look to them as the complete authority.
When actually, it’s God who is in control – not some group of self-serving humans on earth. But as the story goes. even from the very beginning – Satan ‘thinks’ he is more important, in control and powerful than God. The dark has intent, goal and agenda to block then destroy the light. Satan/Evil is about control. God/Good is about freedom.

It’s the wise, aware, able to process, in control of their emotions which gives them the ability to discern truth behind the agenda-presented facade that will save this world from the evil agenda of the Satanic intent of the NWO globalists.

Look at how Christians are being murdered around the world. But America – the land of the free –  is ‘supposed’ to allow in and tolerate Islam, etc. which is the opposite of Christianity. Islam is a ‘political practice’ about control of every aspect of everyone’s life and if not adhered to – then there is extreme and inhumane punishment, execution and slaughter – just as the NWO globalists are looking to implement.  America has allowed those of this practice into our governmental systems and look at the nasty things coming out of their mouths concerning Jews, our President, etc. They are out to destroy the American way of life and put it under their control of perversion and evil.

The media is being used to encourage & foster psychopathic behavior in otherwise normal people. They are manipulating otherwise decent people to emulate psychopathic traits & view these traits as the norm. The entertainment industry is filled with this message. Example: Lady GaGa paraded around in a dress made of animal flesh that sends out a message to millions of young impressionable minds that they are just a hunk of meat. This is not by accident. This is not ‘art.’  Look at Miley Cyrus and her nudity and wrecking ball display – then Beyonce’s lyrics, costumes and gyrations – to name just a few of the display of perversion. Psychopathic individuals behind the scenes in music & entertainment are slowly altering psychology in order to dehumanize, so that the day comes to replace freewill,  human spirit &  your soul with a microchip, you’ll accept it, as you will have been conditioned to view your humanity as just soulless meat. Look at the fashion industry, pornography, etc. The aim of the trans-humanist movement is to remove consciousness from the Earth except from a ‘privileged’ few.

We are living in the age of Leviathan – the devil deriving from the ocean that puts a fog around the over-abundant – coming at you fast information – making it difficult to discern what is lie and what is truth.

A world where lie is deemed truth and truth is deemed lie is a world turned upside down and steeped in evil intent and destruction.

A vital stage of their agenda is to create a bond between machines & humans. Technology distances you from your humanity. The people behind this agenda want to take away choice & freedom –  in order, to rule over Earth and all its inhabitants.  Example Facebook: ‘supposedly’ created to bring people together for community – appears a noble endeavor and purpose – except that personal information and identification are being used for product advertisement. They implement infiltration and brainwashing by censorship for their political NWO progressive globalist agenda of control. When you are on FB – you are under their control and surveillance.

When you turn and accept others as your authority other than self – you will easily be manipulated and led astray.

Become aware and full of your humanity – feel all of your God-given emotions. They are your God- given guidance system and the key as to what is real and what is not – what is good and what is of the dark. Evil does not want us to see truth. Evil is the master of illusion. Narcissists/sociopaths/ psychopaths want us all under their control surrounded, manipulated and controlled by their facade of lies.

The way to the freedom of the light is to feel and process the negative emotions, in order to have the ability to allow in the light of peace, love and joy. The negative emotions of fear, insecurity, anger, hate, anxiety, hate, etc. must be processed, so that you can arrive back at peace, love and joy!
It’s clear that many in the masses are stuck in pain, negative emotions, even being out of control in their emotions – leading to addictions and harmful behaviors to self, others and out into the world. This is what the NWO progressive globalist, narcissists want  and are counting on – that the masses will be imprinted by the media, the entertainment arenas, the corrupted educational systems, the agenda of the corrupted control of gov. to be stuck in neediness, fear, addictions, with inability to think or discern, full of perversion and self- destruction with their individual boundaries breached. This is the way to all levels of control – crossing boundaries  – that way people are easy to manipulate – creating a need to rely on and look to the government for guidance concerning everything in their lives – even to worshiping the government as their Lord and Savior instead of God. God and Christ are threats to the agenda of control and evil. Evil wants people to be in a distortion of their humanity and in fear. God wants people aware, whole and in joy!

They are flooding our borders with needy easy to manipulate foreigners with promises of stuff and some who are part of  their agenda of evil and destruction – for votes to further implement their  plan. They want America over run with world power, sovereignty, financial power, Constitution, rights and freedoms destroyed. They want God and Christ out of our country. They want to take away our position as the hope and light of the world because America is in their way of completing the NWO agenda which is the enslavement of every man, woman and child on earth.

Free thinking and aware people look to the God of light and choice for their guidance – they process emotions – have healthy boundaries, both physically and emotionally – know right from wrong – truth from lie – real from conning bullshit.  They live morally with standards and manners. They take care of their body, mind and spirit. 

A tool for healing:
DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help on Amazon, etc. come into awareness – process your negative, limiting imprints, emotions and beliefs – so you are able to see, process and think clearly – with body, mind and soul fully intact and connected. Live free!

The story of Echo and Narcissus…. What is narcissism actually?

Do you use this much over-used word of the day to accuse/insult even categorize others  whom you view as having certain traits? In Greek Mythology –  which is where this personality disorder of Narcissism derives. The story goes – that there was a wood nymph named Echo who loved to talk. For some reason, she displeased the gods, so they put a curse on her  which was she was only  able to repeat  what she heard – repeat that which others said to her, back to them.

Echo was in love with a young warrior named Narcissus – who also displeased the gods – so they put a curse on him –   which was – that when he was looking into a lake, he would fall in love with his own reflection – and be able to love no one else but his image.   Who knows what these two did to displease the gods- but the gods back then seemed to be easily displeased and also curse happy.

Hence the personality ‘disorder’ of Narcissism began and was created. BUT did you notice and realize that Narcissus fell in love with his ‘image’ – not who he really was – BIG DIFFERENCE! Then as the story goes, Echo who loved Narcissus couldn’t let him know that she loved him because she could only repeat what he said back to her. Therefore, Narcissus never knew how much Echo loved him. Therefore, Narcissist was doomed to love only the image that the world saw of him – he couldn’t really love himself or Echo or feel love from others. He lived a life obsessed with his ‘image.’   Not the way he actually looked or was, but the ‘image’ that he created and was seen by the world. His image was everything to him because he could not genuinely see, understand or love self.  Narcissus means numbness in Greek. He was empty/numb inside  with no true feelings and only about his image. He had no ability to genuinely feel – internally he was void – so he ‘acted’ what he thought was appropriate by observing others.

Echo loved him, but had no way to let him know – therefore, Narcissus could feel no love or emotion  from her. Two truly cursed people. Since relationships are our biggest teachers – these two were stuck in being alone and unable to relate. They were emotionally numb and void.

Narcissism is not about taking selfies or focusing on looks, but that could be one  minor trait. Narcissists more often than not do not like their looks or their self – especially their inner self –  they are all about ‘image’. They are emotionally numb, empty and lost souls.

Narcissism is an inability to feel empathy –  being all about the wants needs of self for their self-image – the image that they create for the world to see –  not caring, giving to, or thinking much about anyone else, unless they can enhance or add to their image. It’s an empty internal existence. It’s an existence all about ‘me, myself & I’ – full of emptiness and, or pain – they often fall into narcissistic depression.

The Narcissistic Relationship

It’s easy to fall in love with narcissists. Don’t judge yourself for succumbing because research shows that strangers’ initial impressions of narcissists for the first seven meetings are positive. They’re seen as charming, agreeable, confident, open, well-adjusted and entertaining. Their alluring performance is designed to win trust and love, implicitly promising that their attentiveness will continue. Only later, did the research subjects see through the narcissists’ likable façade. Covert narcissists are even more disarming – because their outward image is that of kind, caring, helpful and without the usual grandiose narcissist displays – they are more subtle and obviously ‘covert’. They can quickly pull on their target’s heart strings of caring for, and protection of.

Difficulties and conflict arise in longer narcissistic relationships. At home, narcissists may privately denigrate the person they were just publicly entertaining, and after a romantic prelude, they act totally different. Once you’re hooked, they lack the motivation to maintain a charismatic façade. As the excitement of romance wanes, narcissists become disappointed in their partner. Their criticisms escalate and they may act distant and dismissive. The relationship revolves around the narcissist, while others are viewed merely as objects to use in order to manage the narcissist’s needs and fragile even empty self-esteem. Embarrassed partners watch their mate flirt with a cashier, cut to the front of the line, or castigate a clerk or waitress. They must contend with demands, judgments, and self-centeredness. They’re expected to appreciate the narcissist’s specialness, meet his or her needs for admiration, service, love, or purchases when needed — and are dismissed when they don’t.

Narcissists put themselves first, and their codependent partners concur. Both agree that the narcissist is great and that his or her mate isn’t as great and should sacrifice! This makes their relationship work … in the beginning that is. Eventually, the partner feels drained, hurt, resentful, disrespected, and lonely.

The children and partners of narcissists share Echo’s experience of feeling rejected, invisible and unheard. They long to be seen, to have their needs met, and their love returned. Many partners of narcissists sadly pine away for years longing to feel respected, important, appreciated, and cared about. Their self-esteem suffers over time. They risk turning into empty shells of their former selves. Narcissists suffer, too, because they’re never satisfied. Even though Narcissus and Echo both long for love, Narcissus can neither give love, nor receive the love Echo offers.

If you can’t feel emotions, you are the walking dead, trying to fit in as a human, but actually are a walking zombie.

Learn how to identify and process your feelings, emotions, imprints and beliefs. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other usual places.

Life is drama! Drama is life!

“I don’t want any drama in my life.” This blind and mostly idiotic statement is often used by people who want to minimize their partner’s legitimate concerns – or who are uncomfortable – even fearful of addressing and expressing their own emotions and feelings. Perhaps, because it is too painful for them to do so. Being thus, they are uncomfortable when observing others express theirs.  While, for example – they watch movies to experience ‘orchestrated’ drama and sports events to experience the highs and lows of winning and losing.

The word ‘drama’ – used in the context of, “I don’t want any drama in my life’ is actually an inappropriate use of this word.

What is drama? In the arts – there are five parts to drama – plot – character – thought/ action – music and spectacle.

In literature, it is comprised of comedy – satyr – and tragedy.

So in life, if you don’t want drama – does that mean, you don’t want passion in sex, excitement and emotion while watching sports, or feelings and emotions while experiencing beautiful or engaging music or art?

Drama comprises everything in life – not just when someone says it’s okay to feel or experience it.

The drama in life is what makes life worth living! It is the humor – tragedy – pain – joy – sadness, happiness, etc. In life, we are meant to experience all emotions  – that is why we have them – as they are triggered by people and life events. Life is  comprised of drama. If you try to avoid the drama then you are avoiding life and ultimately yourself- actually it’s even a kind of denial of your soul.

We are on earth to experience the drama of our feelings and emotions both the so-deemed good and the deemed not so good.  So, if you believe that you don’t want drama in your life – think again.  Do you want a lifeless, emotionless partner? Do you want a lifeless, emotionless life? Along with the good, comes the so-called bad…. when actually, it’s all good – it’s LIFE! The polarity of the ups and downs are what create the tension in life that keeps us energized.

If you are afraid of drama then you are afraid of life and living fully. If you don’t want drama then perhaps, you are afraid  and living in fear of your own feelings and emotions – especially that of feeling your internal pain. You are afraid of feelings – of truly living – to the depths of pain to the highs of joy. If you avoid pain – you will have less, perhaps even little chance of feeling joy.

Oftentimes, those who state, “I want no drama in my life.” Are the ones who actually create the drama in their life and in others. They very well could be passive/ aggressive – as they say and do things to trigger situations and emotional reactions. Then when the situation escalates or the person reacts – they stand back and point their finger away from self – as they state, “Look at how dramatic you are. I don’t want drama in my life.” Then they turn away – thinking they are superior in some way, since they don’t want and don’t think they have drama in their lives. When actually, it’s out of their denial that created the drama in the first place, but they want/will take no responsibility for their words or actions – the very words or actions that created the drama. They project their need for drama onto others to be acted out before them – since and because they can’t acknowledge it in self, or they have a deep fear of expressing their own feelings and emotions. So, if you have lots of drama in your life and don’t like it – how about looking at yourself to understand why.

It could be that their family of origin didn’t share personal feelings and if this person did, they were criticized for having them, told they were wrong, or even ignored and negated. Therefore, they  shut down and learned to related in a stunted and toxic manner- creating and projecting drama onto others – while stating that they don’t want it.

People like this are full of suppressed feelings and emotion –  they are stunted, stuck and may not have been taught by example or otherwise, how to express and process their internal feelings and emotions. They are fearful to walk into their own pain – so they try to keep it outside themselves.  But to live fully and gloriously – you will experience all the levels of drama. It’s the motor that keeps life alive and worth living. Of course, there is a spectrum of drama – so it’s all about living in balance. So for God’s sake – for your sake – live – feel – emote as appropriate – live in the truth and freedom of your emotional and intellectual self, so you will not be tempted to stunt yourself with addictions.  So, you will not harm yourself and others – so you will live free and at choice.

DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR -memoir/self-help – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual online places. In Part Four are tools to assist the reader in finding and identifying their feelings and  emotions then explains a way to process and release the negative beliefs and limiting imprints. Release the negative so you can experience it all – facing the pain can burst you open to joy. It’s the divine process of really living and genuinely feeling so you can arrive back at peace, love, and joy!

Those moments and times of perfection…

…how  wonderful and fleeting they are. You know those moments and times when the house is clean – all errands done – everything is calm and peaceful in your world as you sit in bed sipping iced coffee in calm – talking to loved ones – etc.  Or cooking, as you  create a meal for those whom you love while sipping wine – sharing and talking . Or after a vigorous workout when your physical, mental, and emotional bodies are drained and cleansed  with endorphins flowing. Or after making love to the person you love laying peacefully together. – eyes meeting – skin touching breathing in sync.  Or watching a sunset – walking beside the ocean as the waves pull in and out.  Sliding into clean fresh sheets after a long day or getting out of a warm shower – wrapping a big soft towel around you – all clean and relaxed. It’s peace. It’s calm. It’s goodness, happiness and  complete joy all wrapped into one! It’s Heaven on earth. These are some of the kind of moments that  are perfection to me.

We all have our variations of the perfect moments in time.  Those moments that ‘still us’ into what it means to be truly happy, peaceful and content. Those moments for the most of us have to do with people – the giving, loving and sharing, our communication of self and gifts of self to others.

Then the world shifts – something breaks – the car – the dishwasher – there are more errands to do – things to clean and wash – irritating even horrible news about something happening in the world, a tooth aches, tummy hurts  and the moments and time of perfection  seem to fade way even to cease – as a seemingly irritating kind of hell emerges –  as we do what is needed to  try to make our way back to that place of peaceful wonderful.

We live on a planet of dualities – good and evil – nothing stays the same – it shifts and moves from pleasant to troubling – perfection to irritating – it always has and always will. And realize it or not – this is a positive thing – this shifting and changing from peace to turmoil is what keeps us striving for more of the perfection of the peaceful good. Striving for the good – those moments in time of perfection – can be a wonderful stimulus for experience, learning, growth and change. So actually, it’s all good – all  in the perfection of God’s earth. Therefore, love your peaceful perfection as well as  the perfection of your irritating, struggle, challenging and striving turmoil. I know and  well understand, easy to say when all is well, and not so easy when all is out of whack and in turmoil. Never the less, try to recall  and know – because this too soon will pass — Our perfect moments help us to keep on going through the irritations, pain – hell. And our challenging times help us to be grateful for the times when we are in joy and bliss – our individual Heaven on earth.

It’s all as God planned it – just for you. It’s why we are here on earth.  A book to read for awareness, processing and healing as we travel through this challenging and wonderful life. It’s available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble – all the usual places and also available on the front of this site.

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1532879066&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air 

The Grass Is Greener….

Really? Are you so sure about that? We all have the tendency, at times to think the grass is greener in someone else’s life or that if we could only have this, do that, achieve thus and so – then our life would be wonderful and we will have ‘arrived’! Really? Arrived – where?  Anywhere you go – there you will be. And do you really think having that car, purse, or dress, etc. will change who you are or make a difference in who you are or how you feel about yourself – for long? Whatever you put on your body – you are still yourself inside.

Have you ever envied someone else’s life, only to realize when you get to know them  –  Whoa! I am so glad I am me and not them.

Appreciating who you are, where you are and what you have is the greatest awareness. It’s called acceptance, peace, happiness and inner joy.  It’s called  being in the moment – being in present time – and that is  the real gift – the ‘present’.  You are where you are in any given time for a divine purpose and reason. It’s your life in that moment of time to fully feel and to enjoy.

This does not mean that you stop trying to achieve, grow, do and have, but that you be in the moment, satisfied and appreciating of all that you have and where you are in that particular time – in the now.  Life can always change for the good, or for the worst – in an instant. If you aren’t able to experience the joy in and of the moment then you will not be able to feel fully satiated no matter what you have, do or gain – you will always feel lack. longing and wanting of more or something else to try and fill up the empty hole that you have inside yourself.  You will always be thinking the ‘grass is greener’. A person who does this is not able to settle into peace with self.

Things don’t give you peace. Things don’t/won’t fulfill you for long – they will always leave you wanting for more, different or newer.

Someone who can’t feel settled in self is always thinking that the ‘grass is greener’.  That there is something out there somewhere that they need, just must have in order to feel ‘okay’, or better about themselves. They can’t, – are unable to settle into peace, appreciation and joy because they are too busy being on the prowl looking for something else to fill them up.

Not being able to settle in self may  actually cause them to  lose all that they do have  – to be lost – never to be realized again.  As in a man who cheats on their spouse, ‘thinking’ the pretty little thing that caught their eye is what they ‘must’ have to feel happy and content,  only to lose everything that means any and everything in the world to them – then to realize  that pretty little thing is nothing much at all – just a momentary shiny new thing.

Those who  are always looking for the next shiny thing – end up going through lots of tinsel… without  ever holding onto  or having a real diamond in their hands for long –  because they may drop the diamond to chase the tinsel.

Those who think the ‘grass is greener’ have  little to no balance in their lives.  They are in a pattern of dismissing & diminishing what it is that they do have – no matter how great it actually may be. – they can’t see or appreciate it  because they are always on the search &   looking for more, next, another, or what they ‘think’ is  ‘better’ to fill up their empty soul. They do this because of their dissatisfaction with self.

Joy happens when you can appreciate and live in the moment. Joy is the awareness of the moment  and being in appreciation for all that you have – that what God has placed before you is yours – it’s your perfect place to be!

Did you ever stop to think that while you are thinking the ‘grass is greener’ that someone is looking at you – your life – your wife – your house – etc. and thinking the ‘grass is greener’ where you are?

Your life is ‘your’ gift from God – whatever – where ever – it may be or is. It’s yours. So appreciate the good and the bad – because it’s  all yours.

How about stating in this moment – I approve of myself. I am all that I ever thought I would or could be in this very moment.  I am blessed. Thank you God for all that I am, all that I have, all the lessons, all the trials, all the awareness, all that I have become and all that I will be.  If you can’t/don’t appreciate the moment without the wanting, even yearning for more – you will never experience contentment, peace and joy.

Then carry  forward  from that point – creating, learning, etc, while  making sure to appreciate what you are  and have in the now,  the people in your life etc. in this time frame.

For awareness … DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help 

on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and all the other usual places.

You were born  and placed exactly where you were meant to be. Your circumstances and experiences are perfect for you and who you are meant to become. It’s up to you to either break against or immerse yourself  – change – grow or become more – most importantly to become more aware. It’s your  life. This moment is yours! Be aware and be in joy!

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529383520&sr=8-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch   

Two-faced, smile to your face, talk about you behind your back…

Polite and nice to money. Rude otherwise and looks down upon, even shows disdain for those with less than, or in poverty.  Judges people by their car, house, clothes, etc.  instead of their character. They don’t even know what ‘character’ is  because they have none – so they can’t recognize it in others. Will do anything – lie, cheat, steal to achieve the image, position or appearance of control or power over others. Mistakes having power and things as greatness.

Say one thing then  they do another. Say words or act in ways to manipulate for their use or gain. Nice, courteous and kind to people when selling something – be it a service or a product but uncaring, dismissive even rude otherwise. try to extract value for self from people, places and things with no regard to what they might do to harm.

Men who tell  lies to get a woman into bed. Women who flirt and compliment to make an oaf feel like a king for her gain – doing so, only to manipulate and with ill-intent instead of worthy intentions.

I have observed and become more aware of  this kind of behavior in our world today. This is why, in my opinion there is so much depression, anxiety, addiction, harm to self and others. There is a lack of respect for our fellowman and  ultimately ourselves.

I am otherwise, I was taught otherwise and choose to live otherwise. My words and behaviors reveal who I am, not only to others but to myself.  My word is my honor and my bond. I can be counted on to do what I say, or I don’t say it. So many people these days cannot be counted on for anything much less their word.

What I do in private, matters as much as what I do in public. Of course, I have been known to say what I think – which means, I don’t lie to myself or others.  There are  these concepts called – truth – honesty –  responsibility and accountability.

I try to live by the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Do I lose it at times and mess up? Of course! But this serves me also,  to become more aware of my behaviors and how they may affect others including myself. It’s called ‘self-reflection’ and ‘self-awareness’. We won’t grow, if we don’t have both in our emotional and mental selves.

If we are not becoming more aware in our lives, then what is it we are actually doing? Accumulating stuff – screwing as many people as we can – and on multiple levels –  taking  instead of giving? Look into the eyes of people who have done this in their life even for their entire lives with little to no awareness.  Oh, then of course, some know exactly what they are doing and these are the evil ones. And these people  have dead eyes which reflect their internal selves

Look at the eyes and faces of the Clintons – they are perfect examples. Bill is only 71 and he looks as if he is 171. 

Today so many seem to live by the motto – ‘Screw others before they screw me’.  They will say  or promise thus and so and if they are lying or change their mind and it inconveniences or harms another — so what? Their motto is –  ‘It’s ‘me’ that matters, not them’. What value can I extract from another. They are all about self and this is why they are so internally twisted and unhappy, seeking any and every thing to numb out their torment and misery.

We have become in many ways a selfish, narcissistic society. And that is why so many are unhappy, turn to drugs, alcohol, stuff their selves with food, buy too many things, sit on the sofa watching TV or playing computer games, watching porn, having sex with people only for sex, stare at their phones – texting or surfing the internet even when in the company of others.  Living behind a facade of cars, clothes, fitness routines  – so concerned with ‘image’ – they forget  their internal/eternal self – when reality is – nothing is fit or right about them. Or  they may live in a fat, unkempt body, wearing ill-fitting sloppy clothing, lazy and slovenly  while, thinking nothing matters,  including their appearance, while being envious even hating those who appear they are ‘really together’ – but  who inside may be also dying.

There is a concept called balance – both  inside and outside. The inside will reflect on the outside in some manner or form.

Those who indulge in these behaviors ‘think’ they are putting something over on everyone  else, but what they are really doing is harming themselves, even going as far as to be rotting their soul. Who – they are conning – is themselves. They are choosing to live by no standards, disaplines or morals, but that of self-gratification and all this does is to make a person selfish, self-centered, internally alone, even though they may be surrounded by others – bloated and fat – possibly catch STDS for having sex with many – and because of selfish self-indulgences  they lose their ability to love and care for others and therefore, lose their own individual humanity, just for the purpose  and sake of their momentary attainment and  pleasure of fake power and things. Image is actually nothing. It’s the internal reality that matters.

When you are true to yourself is when you will be true to others. and this has to do with integrity in body, mind and spirit and this comes from continual awareness of self as it relates to others and your relationship with yourself. Self -awareness and self-reflection are keys to happiness.

A book to assist in awareness:

 https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1528307660&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+Throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

 

Hillary – the eternal victim…

Hillary played/plays the role of victim her whole life.

She tried to blame others – as in the ”great right-wing conspiracy” for the reason her husband, Bill Clinton, was outed for his sexual escapades – but oops!  His sexual crimes against women were/are true. BLAMING  and LYING were her tools used at that time, in order to play the victim. VICTIMS BLAME OTHERS FOR THEIR PROBLEMS IN LIFE.  They don’t  accept responsibility – they blame, project, lie and deflect! Hillary is a master at this.

The poor victim, Hillary, stayed with Bill during and after his sexual escapades were outed – with her complete and full knowledge of – so she could try to become the first woman president riding on his political coat tails.  BUT she failed at being elected president, not only once, but twice. The ceiling Hillary has busted through is being the biggest VICTIM on the planet – while truthfully it’s all her fault that she is such. She writes books about her victim position – asking WHY? WHY? WHY? She blames everyone and everything else – but not herself – as she lies, blames, manipulates and deflects.

She could have divorced  Bill and continued life on her own  taking responsibility making her a brave, strong, self-sufficient woman. Instead, she stayed with Bill and sucked off the American people even creating a ‘foundation’ which kept/keeps most the money for themselves and their over-the-top affluent lifestyle – as they con, manipulate, and suck off anyone they can find. The pretense is a bit of good which hides much deception, evil and greed – to feed and justify their victim mentality. She creates victims and preys on victims. She thinks she is a victim.

After Hillary lost the presidency, she could have gracefully accepted the outcome. Displaying responsibility  honor, integrity and grace (which we know from her previous behaviors, she carries none of these attributes in her psychological make-up.) Hillary’s psychological make-up is that of a victim to stay whining, blaming, deflecting, lying and manipulating  in order to stay in  the forefront and  she will not stop or go away. She will do anything even murder.

Victims never accept responsibility. Instead, they hide and dodge. Hillary has helped to create a herd of victim women followers who  follow her lead as they whine, blame, deflect and even wear pink vagina costumes. – looking not only the victims but the fools!

Victims are the greatest stealers of everyone’s energy – they want the whole world to feel pity and sorry for them – as they try to gain, take or steal any and every thing  they want or ‘think’ that they need to feel better about what they ‘think’and ‘interpret’ is their ‘victim’ status in life. Victims suck the life out of the room and everyone who surrounds them.  Their goal is pity as they seek even demand ‘power’ over others to give them undeserved gains on many levels.

Hillary promotes ‘women’s rights and equality’, while she lives  her life the exact opposite. She stayed with a womanizer, rapist, cheater and blamed the women who called him out for what he did. The women standing up to Bill Clinton were/are the strong ones – not Hillary.

Hillary Clinton is a self-made victim. Her personality is VICTIM! Everything that comes out of her mouth is victim driven.  Those who wear the cloak of victim try to use it  for their gain. They are actually weak, immoral, corrupted in their soul – real losers. Hillary Clinton is a self-made/created victim sucking off America and the whole world. Hillary is on a constant and continual victim tour. 

It would serve Hillary and her victim followers to read – 

Challenges, problems, losses, pain, disappointments help a person grow, become stronger, develop new skills and most importantly become aware. Without all these, there would be no growth. We are on the planet of dualities – good and evil. There will be challenges, problems and pain. It’s how a person handles issues in life that make them who they are – either to rise up, become aware, develop character, strength and knowledge, or to fall into being a victim, stuck in negativity, limiting imprints and negative emotions that block their growth, awareness and ultimately their happiness and peace. Victims easily fall into addictions and the repeating of WHY? WHY? WHY ME?!

https://blog.womenexplode.com/2018/02/why-so-much-anxiety-depression-mental-illness-addictions/

So deemed ‘bad’ things happen to us all. It’s how we process them that make us either a victim or a strong, healed, self-actualize person. To assist to shift your awareness out of victim status — order. 

Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1522603193&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+Throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch  

Sugar is Salt! Excerpt from DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR…

I am twelve or thirteen… 

It is April Fool’s Day!  What a blast!  This is the day you can play all sorts of tricks on people.

My friend Linda is spending the night.  We’re going to plan some really neat tricks to play on my parents.  My parents don’t laugh much and I think some tricks might make them laugh and have some fun.

We’re going to wait until they go to sleep.  Then sneak up to the kitchen to figure out the best tricks that we possibly can, to make my parents have a fun April Fool’s Day.

Linda says she has played tricks on her parents and they always thought the tricks were funny.  So we decide we might play some of the same tricks on my parents. Since she tried them out on her parents, we know that they’ll work.

Everyone in the house is asleep but us.  We slowly climb up the stairs to the kitchen.  So we’ll have just enough light to see what we’re doing, we turn on the light in the pantry. We snoop through the pantry looking for ideas.  Okay, what shall we do?

Linda says the first thing we can do is exchange the sugar for the salt.  She says that her parents thought it was funny when she played this trick on them.

Cool idea! We pour the sugar out of its container then fill it with salt. We’re giggling.  Can’t you just see their faces when they put salt into their coffee.  Okay, what else can we do?

The first thing, my parents do when they get up is to have their coffee.  So, what can we do to the coffee?  What looks enough like coffee that we could make an exchange without there being any notice?  Nestle chocolate drink mix?  No dirt, dirt would work!  We’re amazed by our clever ideas.  We sneak outside through the back entrance to scoop some finely ground dirt out of the flower bed.  We sprinkle the dirt into the coffee container laughing as we do.  This is going to be so cool!

Linda comments, “Your parents are going to just die when they drink their mud coffee with salt in it.  It’s going to be so funny!  They’re going to laugh their heads off!  Now what else can we do?”

I’m beginning to feel uneasy about all this. “I think we have done enough.”  She responds, “No we haven’t!  I bet we can think of a lot more funny April Fool’s things to do!”  I say, “No, this is enough to do.”  She says, “What a party pooper, you are!”

We run back downstairs full of excitement for what tomorrow will bring when my parents wake up to their April Fools surprises.  Linda and I stay up real late watching the late shows on TV.

The next morning, we’re sleeping very soundly, until we hear blood chilling screams coming from the kitchen.

My mother sounds hysterical.  She’s screaming and yelling for my father to come into the kitchen.

I wake up startled and quickly.  My heart jumps into my throat.  I freeze up inside. Oh, no, apparently my mother doesn’t think our tricks are funny. Please, God, don’t let mother yell and scream in front of my friend.

Linda and I sneak up the back stairs to the kitchen.  We wait and listen.  My father comes into the kitchen as my mother is screaming and telling him about her coffee.  She’s actually almost crying.

My father yells for me.  I’m scared to death.  What can I do?  What’s going to happen to me?  I was only playing a joke!

Linda looks frightened, too, but she says.  “What’s the big deal?  It’s only an April Fool’s joke.”

We muster up our courage and walk the rest of the way up the stairs to the kitchen.  We nervously say, “April Fools!  Did we surprise you?  Pretty good tricks, huh?”

My mother is hysterical and crying.  She’s going on about how her coffee is ruined and what a brat I am.

I say, “Mother, it’s only a joke.  We were just having some fun.  I thought that you would laugh and think it was funny.  It’s April Fool’s Day, you know, the day when people play jokes on people.”

My very angry crying mother says.  “Not only did you ruin my morning cup of coffee!  Now, I’m going to have to pour all of the coffee out because you put dirt in it.  You are a brat!  My whole day is ruined because of you!”

My father is trying to go along with my mother’s angry tirade, but he’s chuckling under his breath.  He comments, “The kids were just trying to do some tricks.  Relax, it’s no big deal. We can get more coffee.”

When my father says this, my mother just glares at me and I feel a chill go down my spine.  I feel my mother’s hate for me.  I feel how she cannot stand it when my father sides with me.  She wants to always make sure that I get into trouble and that my father is aware of how ‘bad’ I am.  She likes to make a scene and make sure I get punished.

So she continues to rant and rave, until my father finally gets angry and yells at me.  He yells his usual things about what a naughty brat I am.

Linda and I both apologize then go back downstairs.  We only meant to have fun and make jokes but what we did was make my mother upset.  Nothing we did turned out to be fun.  It was upsetting for all of us.

When I look back at this scene, I can remember the excitement I felt wanting to create some innocent fun for my parents and me.  I was trying to reach out and touch them in a ‘fun’ way.  It made me excited to hear that my friend’s parents responded to her jokes in a positive manner.  It gave me hope that my parents might respond in the same way.  I hoped that my parents would laugh and say what a funny idea.  Then we could all have a good laugh together and feel close to one another, but as usual with my parents, nothing seemed to get the reaction that I was looking for.

As an adult, I can understand that it must have been frustrating for my mother to endure muddy, salty coffee.  I am sorry that I upset her and that she did not appreciate my April Fool’s joke, but looking back, I still think it was funny.

My awareness is that my mother and father never do appreciate my sense of humor.  It is like we are on a different wave link.  Most of the time when I am teasing or trying to be funny, they take it as though I am being serious then I get into trouble.

I do not show my sense of humor to them anymore. I am tired of being criticized for my humor and my light heartedness.  I show my humor and fun side to people who will enjoy and appreciate it for what it is. The sad thing to me is that I feel like I cannot be myself when I am with my parents.  I feel like I have to watch everything I say to them for fear of being criticized.

My awareness is that I can always be true to who I am but can show different sides of myself to different people as is appropriate to do so.

All of us have different ideas of what we think is humorous.

Some people do not seem to have any sense of humor. Then I’ve met others who thought they were funny and I did not get their humor at all.

Every one is an individual and what is funny to one may make the other one cry.  The awareness is to see humor from both sides.  The perspective a person is coming from decides whether they will think something is funny or not. We all have varying degrees of sensitivity. Humor is based on an individual’s perspective.

“Men are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen.” Epictetus

To order:

Boasting, bragging, nosy, controlling people…

Blowhard : someone who always brags or boasts about himself. He is also a braggart, bragger,  vaunter, etc. Blowhard is an informal word describing someone who can’t stop talking about themselves or their accomplishments either real or imagined.

Just recently, I interacted with one of the biggest braggers I have encountered. I met her online. She approached me – concerning my book.  She thinks she knows everything about everything. She asks intrusive, nosy and rude questions and if you don’t answer them , she gets offended that you don’t give her all the info she seeks. She talks about money all the time – what car she drives –  how big her house is – if you mention any topic, she knows more about it than you or anyone else does – and all her ‘friends’ or associates are ‘experts’ in their fields and according to her – ‘know more about anything than anyone else’. Her children are the most accomplished and her husband the best husband in the world – HA! As she continued her BS – I realized that she knows little to nothing about much. She refers to everyone as her ‘besties’ – including me and I just met her – never met her in person and have no desire to do so. She uses emoji’s like some child – like 10 of them with every post or text. Always trying to draw attention to herself. She hides behind the mantel of being a Christian – when her behavior is any and everything but. I tried to give her the benefit of my doubt but my first instincts were correct – so I cut my interaction off with her – but not fast enough. She is a people collector – a sucker of energy. A vampire – searching for prey. 

A person who brags, is a person who seeks external validation since the individual cannot self-validate. The individual doesn’t find or have the inner resources to validate himself. Bragging and boasting implies an inferiority complex.

Braggadocious people are usually also controlling – they want to control the conversation and make it and everything else all about them – what they own – what they do – who they know – what they know – how much money they have. They try to control the conversation in order to get information about you or others.  They ask intrusive nosy questions to find out where they can suck, take, or use against you. Nosy in order to glean information for them to use against you or to put you down when they need another boost for their fragile insecure ego. They will eventually use your vulnerabilities against you in some form or another – even if it’s only to feel better about themselves and to get  or for them to think that they have the upper hand. Many braggers have sociopathic and narcissistic traits.

They try to connect to people with success, money, accomplishment or  some sphere of influence – so they can add them to their arsenal of what ‘expert’ friends and associates they have – in order to have more to brag about – even if it’s only by association. They collect people as if they were things.  They ‘think’ that associating with others of accomplishment will rub off on them – they even take others accomplishments and try to make themselves part of it – trying to take the accolades from someone and trying to make themselves appear that they assisted in someone’s success. They many times exaggerate, if not actually lie and many live way above their means in order to keep up their fake image and facade of – ‘I am – oh so wonderful, happy and great – above all others!’These people are innately insecure and  severely lacking internally.

Wouldn’t it be absurd if Einstein tried to show off concerning his intelligence? We all know he is a genius. Einstein received external and internal validation. People with  accomplishment, be it wealth, accolades, intelligence, happiness, beauty, etc. – don’t need to brag or boast about it – it just is. They are who they are and others sense who they are by their actions, words, behavior and lifestyle –  no need to brag or boast – because who they are  emanates naturally from their pores.

Steer clear of those who are boastful, braggarts, nosy, controllers – who ‘think’ they know everything – who don’t listen, don’t self-reflect about how their rude, intrusive, arrogant, boasting affects others and can’t be shown or taught self-awareness or much else – they will usually take advantage of you,  if and when you don’t go along with their plans, do as they deem, or  they realize that you see through them – they may even try to take from you and do you harm when you don’t give them what they want or need from you.

Realize when you feel more than or less than others – you are not feeling equal to…

A book to assist  – read with self-reflection, honest comprehension and you will grow more  in awareness.

Anxiety – depression – mental illness – addictions in our world today…

I have been noticing even more lately than ever before the level of anxiety and mental illness in people. It might be that some are addicted to drugs or alcohol and this is why they behave off balance – I don’t know? But so many appear and act depressed – bipolar – anxiety ridden – narcissistic – lost – hateful – like they don’t give a da-m about themselves or anyone else.

Some have been  diagnosed with ADHD and ADD –  children and adults – lots of hyperactivity – little to no attention span – little to no ability to focus – attachment disorders and avoidant personality traits. All this was not occurring often when I was growing up or in earlier times.  Depression – it seems to be everywhere.  Continual ads about what drug to take if you are depressed, even as they admit the drugs, they are promoting may not work and may even make a person more depressed even suicidal. Perhaps, too many are taking too many drugs of all sorts in the first place! How can bodies process all the junk that some are putting into theirs? It’s certainly not natural to the body,  just as too much alcohol – recreational drugs and other addictions are not natural to be ingested into our bodies or partaken in. Our bodies are natural miracles – perfectly engineered working machines created and orchestrated by God.

Is it because of the nutritionally lacking food with all the chemical additives nowadays? Is it the chemicals in the air? Of course, many who over-indulge in alcohol and who do drugs are trying to self- medicate to alleviate their pain, anxiety, depression, etc.

Is it that many families today do not have a mother and father – so our youth have little grounding? Children have a need to enter this world and to grow up in a place of dependability and safety – this way they can grow and mature mentally, emotionally and physically easily and more naturally. Is it that parents are trying to be ‘friends’ with their children instead of authority figures who guide and set boundaries? Many people who should never have children are having them at rapid rate. They seem to think their children will make them feel loved and successful – give them an identity, when it’s they who should be caring for their children – it’s all gotten turned around in distortion.

It appears so many people – adults and otherwise are stuck somewhere between toddler and teenager… ME ME ME – I want –  I want – I want. I am rebelling – rebelling – rebelling! Where can I find my next high – my stimulus – my rush – my excitement?

Where  has maturity, responsibility, respect, honor, respect for self – respect for others, manners, morals, kindness, thoughtfulness, intelligence, common sense –  gone? It’s not being displayed by more and more adults. Therefore children are mirroring many things negative to self and others with little to no awareness or ability of the positive and good. Some children these days appear not to know or understand right living. 

Is is technology? Everything is faster and faster and that everything is expected to happen quickly – happen NOW – or much frustration occurs. It is the messages in the media and in the entertainment field of perversion,  some people who don’t even know what gender they are, some who are even marrying their animals or a tree in some forest? So many seem to be pushing the envelope to a kind of bizarre distortion even into insanity – where there is no truth, peace, honor, integrity, morality, grounding or belief in the honoring of God.

So many seem to be searching – searching – searching for what?  And trying to escape – escape what? Anywhere you go – there you will still be. Money – things – notoriety – celebrity – searching for something outside themselves to help them feel ‘better’ or ‘okay’ – as if they belong to something – even if it’s something bizarre, perverted, and inane. Such as a herd of woman wearing vagina costumes – that they think will make them  feel better or even just ‘okay’ as they attach to this goofy group of nothingness.

People who are hurting  and lost inside are the ones who do the most hurt and harm to others and damage and evil in our world.  They try to attach to anyone and anything to find some kind of meaning in their life. They try to harm even destroy others because of their internal pain – searching for continual stimulation, a place to suck off of, something to heighten their feelings or to numb them.

There also seems to be also a new level of ignorance – actually stupidity – little to no common sense – many brain-dead people – who do not listen or think, but instead are spinning in their brain about what they will say next – how they will try and top someone else – even if they are lying about what they are saying or bragging about. It’s all about me – me – me – no matter how distorted. While they ‘pretend’ to care about others – the world – animals – the earth – people in other countries somewhere across the world. When they are lost, searching, empty in their soul and living a life of distortion, denial and addictions. Some appear to be locked into a brain cloud of fogginess.

Peace and happiness begin and end in self and nothing else really matters. Unless you have this,  nothing can make you happy and content for long.

It begins and ends with awareness, self-reflection,  evaluation, introspection, honesty about self and to do and be this, takes recognizing what you are feeling and why are are feeling it. Then processing through those feelings and emotions in awareness, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness. Armed with the ability and tools to do this, you will arrive at a place where you are able to fill yourself with peace, happiness, love and joy!  You will be kind to yourself and therefore kinder to others. Then everything else on earth will be an extra plus to be enjoyed.

Purchase through my website…




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A book to assist you  in becoming aware – to find out why you are feeling what you do and to release limiting imprints and negative beliefs.