Category Archives: Inspirational/Spiritual

The best things in life are not things…

The best things in life are moments filled with feelings, emotions, sensations of being alive, the touch, the smile of someone you love, the embrace, the kiss, the hug. the warmth of someone you love.  The feel of the sun on your face. The cool wind on your skin. The sun glistening in the trees. The sound of music. The taste of your favorite food. The best things in life are feelings and emotions triggered by people and experiences that create wonderful memories. The best thing in life is to feel and experience our senses. God’s gift of being on earth is to experience love and joy… the real connection to self, to others and to the source… our maker.

Sure ‘things’ are part of living on earth, but they are not the reason… they are only to enhance, to give to others, and to make our life easier, and perhaps fun. Things are tools. Things are sofas to sit on, utensils to eat with.

I once went on a date with a man who loved expensive cars and owned many. On our first date, we had fun, he was attentive. We had a great conversation and dinner at a nice restaurant. I think he was driving a Mercedes that evening, but I didn’t care. I thought him a nice man. On our second date, he arrived in a Ferrari. It was pretty… but I have ridden and owned many great cars. A car is a car. A car is fun to drive. A car gets you from place to place, but it is a thing.  I was chatting as he drove down the tollway to our destination. He did not respond to me, but instead, stared straight at the rode.  I thought …’Umm this is bizarre’. He was not the friendly talkative man of our first date.

Turning into the parking lot of the restaurant,  another car turned too close to him and he sparked into anger with a comment to match. He parked his Ferrari  in a distant parking place to make certain no one could ding it.  At dinner, he kept looking out at his car, since we were by the window with a view of it.

After dinner, on our way to the movie, he was overly focused on his driving and was not talkative. So, I inquired. “Are you okay?  You seem preoccupied?” To which he snapped, when I drive this car, I focus on my driving. It’s my baby. It’s worth thus and so. It’s an investment. I only take it out occasionally.

I responded. “So, why did you drive it tonight, to impress me?”

He, “Sure, did. And I did, didn’t I?  I knew you would look great in this car.”

Me, “Actually no. It’s a nice car. But it’s our second date and your focus is on the car and not me. I would rather your attention have been on me, on our getting to know one another, instead of a car,or how I look in your car.”

He, ” Well, well, well…I thought you would like riding in a Ferrari.”

Me, “We had a great first date. I thought you nice and interesting. I have been in a Ferrari before, in fact, several times.. They are nice cars, but your attention is on it, not me, or us getting to know one another. So, why don’t you and your car continue the date and take me home.”

He, “But I like you. I really like you. You are beautiful, smart and fun.”

Me, “But your attention tonight is on your car. So please take me home and be with your car.”

He asked me out several times after that evening and I declined. This self-centered materialistic man was shocked by my response concerning his ‘car’. He had no idea how to impress much less connect with a woman like me, or really any woman, unless she’s a gold digger and as materialistic a woman as he is a man. And did this fool think so little of women that he thought he could ‘buy’ or ‘lure’ me into liking him with his ‘things’.  How little he must think of himself.

As I stated previously, cars are fun, but people are what matter most.  When people put things before people, they have a distortion in their spirit, soul and, of course, their life. This man showed me early on that ‘his things’ matter more than interacting with me and in his distorted mind, he thought I would like him, or be impressed with a car so much that I would, what? Like him for and because of his car… Ha! His things defined him. He’s fractured with no real inner core. It’s like people such as this are anchored to a reality defined by their ‘things’… instead of their internal core. People such as this often view people as things and treat them as such… as in the trophy wife… and that is how I felt with him. He liked me because he liked the way I looked in his car. He gave no value to who I am inside only that my exterior fit with his  false and fake ‘image’ of self. His concern wasn’t with me, my feelings, my emotions, or getting to really know me… but to show his car off to me. And therefore, show his car and me, off to others… as in ‘his image’ was what was important to him. His image as it related to ‘things’.

It’s one ‘thing’ to enjoy things…quite another to place them where people ought be in  your life.

His placement of value was seriously misplaced.  I never saw him again and he didn’t understand why. Later, I interacted with some people who knew him, actually who had worked for him. (Funny how that happens.) I learned that even though successful,  he was the worst boss they had ever had and one man quit his job because of him. This man of ‘things’ lives in a house worth millions, gated and well-guarded. Has a garage full of expensive, collectible cars and lives alone. He was married once years ago. She had an affair and left him. (He told me this on our first date and poor him, he was so hurt when she did that and he didn’t understand why she did.) He is a hard-hearted money grubbing executive, no one could stand working with, or, for him. He retired early and is alone with his things.  Who knows what happened to make this man so inhuman, fractured, unfeeling and cold. What happened to him that he has no self worth, unless it is connected to money and things? And he’s so far gone now, no one could/would care, except a woman just like him or a gold-digger. But he wouldn’t really share his things with her. He’s too selfish  and self-centered. 

I enjoy things, pretty furniture, antiques, art, jewelry, clothes and yes, cars, too. But nothing comes before people and certainly not before someone I love.

Things are to enhance life not to replace people or to become a life.

 

 

Psychology and physiology of a smile…

ann-smile-5Smiling… not only lifts your spirits but  that of those around you. A smile uses muscles that stimulate us to feel better. When you smile you feel better, even when you are feeling down.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Our faces have muscles with the ability to animate our faces to smileface1express and to show how we feel, think and emote at any given time. Our feelings and emotions direct that animation of the muscles either naturally or they can be forced and faked. Take an actor for example: While acting they can use their body as an instrument to express feelings and emotions that will illicit feelings and emotions in those watching. We all have that ability in every moment and every day of our lives that will affect not only us but those around us.

???????????????????????????????I love to smile. I once had a surgery where my cheeks were swollen for a few weeks and I couldn’t smile. It was a horrible feeling not to be able to smile. It made me feel so down inside not to be able to smile. I so wanted to smile but couldn’t and my smile was distorted when I tried. I was amazed how not being able to smile affected my mood, my feelings and everything about me. Then when my face became less swollen, and I could smile a bit, I felt better.  When I could fully smile again, I felt great! Smiling affected my whole body, my mood, my spirit… everything about me.

A smile affects your physiology and that of those around you.

The Psychological Study of Smiling

ann-smile5That experience made me realize how wonderfully good smiling made me feel. It lifts me up and makes me feel so good inside.  Think of people with bad teeth that don’t smile and children with cleft palates who can’t smile… when these things are corrected and they are able to smile… their whole face lights up. Their mood changes along with that of everyone around them. A smile affects the energy in your eyes, in your body, in everything about you. Smiling affects health and well-being.

You can smile with your eyes, your lips and with your whole face. There are all kinds of smiles.  But a genuine smile lights  up your eyes, your whole face and affects your whole body along with the energy it carries and emits.

The muscles of expression located around the mouth are the depressor anguli oris, therisorius, the zygomaticus major, the zygomaticus minor, and the levator labii superioris (see above image, highlighted in blue). All of these muscles, specifically the zygomaticus muscles, are involved with smiling; they pull the orbicularis oris (the circular muscle of your mouth) upwards. These muscles are innervated by the various branches of the facial nerve (VII), which — when the muscles are activated — send signals to the brain that you are smiling.

From there, endorphins are released into the bloodstream from the pituitary gland and the brain and spinal cord from the hypothalamus. Endorphins are opiod (chemicals that bind to opiate receptors) peptides that act as neurotransmitters. Think of endorphins as the body’s natural painkillers, or opiates; they are released in times of stress (good and bad), exercise, excitement, pain, love, and other emotional states, and you feel awesome because of them

http://info.visiblebody.com/bid/216820/learn-the-science-behind-a-smile-visualized-with-visible-body

???????????????????????????????Smile more. Smile lots. Smile at others.  Smiling is contagious.  When you smile it lifts the energy. A smile creates openness… a channel for positive communication.

Smile at yourself in your mirror. Lift your spirits along with those around you.

waterhead2SMILE!

 

Denial of vulnerability leads to needless, non-productive worry…

annface48My father was a worrier. Mother used to say, “If there isn’t anything to worry about, your Dad will find something.”  So, I come by my ‘worrying’ naturally… HA!

When bad things happen in life that turn your world upside down, or create a sense of vulnerability, or devastate you at the time, you become aware that negative things can happen out of the blue and unexpectedly or that the choices you made, hurt you and others.  This can create fear, PTSD, excessive worrying, panic attacks, anxiety, set in your ways, fear of change, fear of making a mistake, etc.

Reality is, as humans we are vulnerable to many and a variety of things, some in our control and many not. It’s the lack of control, the need to live in the denial of our vulnerability that leads to our worrying.

Acceptance of vulnerability releases worry. Once you prepare for the worst case scenario then stop worrying and replace it with faith. But sometimes, when you think you have covered all your bases, you still get hurt and have harm. Then at other times, when you fly by the seat of your pants, everything turns out great. So actually, you can’t always be prepared … because negative, unpleasant, harmful things just happen. We are all vulnerable. To be human is to be vulnerable.

Sure, being prepared, aware and using common sense is wise.  But worrying destroys happiness, fun, joy, adventure,  experiences, health, spontaneity…

My Dad wanted to be in control of his life, and to protect those whom he loved. It’s a male trait. not wanting to feel vulnerable.  It’s a kind of trait that has one looking for the ‘what if’s’… to try and combat them or to cut them off before they do hurt and harm. That can be a good thing…. but too much of it wears the person out , those around them and can stop living in its tracks. Worrying never stopped my Dad from living life large with many accomplishments and adventures. He just went ahead and faced his fears… but he did worry. But he also had much faith that balanced out the worry and allowed him to go forth.. He told me he had an angel on his shoulder. He would loan his angel to me when I was going through a rough time. So just that knowing, showed his faith was more powerful than his worry.

I can be a worrier. I admit it. But I also have tremendous faith that pulls me out of it. I have had many traumatic, out of the blue occurrences in my life that tested my faith and sunk me into worry, fret and depression. Some, perhaps, predictable others not.  My worry and fear have caused me loss and to miss out, and this I regret. I don’t regret what and when I tried and lost because, at least, I tried. But I do regret when fear and worry stopped me in my tracks or caused me to make decisions out of fear instead of faith. But usually and most always I keep on in faith, otherwise, I would die inside with worry and that is no way to live.

While on earth, God wants us to live in faith and to have experiences, adventures, feelings, emotions… but for certain acknowledge all feelings… as warnings of fear can prevent harm, after all we are sentient beings in physical body on earth. Here to experience it all.

As humans on earth we are vulnerable… so accept it and choose faith…

The Christmas season is based on and founded in faith…

What you do is more important than what you say…

ann-smile4Words are meaningless without intent and follow-through.

All talk and no action is empty rhetoric.

“I never worry about action, but only about inaction.” Winston Churchill

Most politicians are all talk and no action…

In the real world only sociopaths, psychopaths, scammers, liars, cons etc. are all talk with no action.  All talk and no action is the first sign of a con.

In the real world, people must follow their words with action, they must follow through or they will  lose face, people won’t trust them and, in general, they just plain eventually lose.  They get found out for what the are and others turn from them.
The government is one of the places where people that are all talk and no action are rewarded.
When the government is supposed to be by the people and for the people, what it’s become is for the government, for the benefit of the government and screw the people. People don’t matter as long as, we,  the government, can keep sucking from and off them to keep us in their money. So why do we keep electing politicians that don’t put action with their words? Or who even do the opposite of what their words convey.
In the real world, all trust is lost in someone who lies, or talks with no action. For some in the government, it appears the people keep on trusting and that is what the government is counting on, that the people keep on trusting their words with no action or their opposite action and the stupid, unaware, ill-informed people do. Look at the c Clinton and Obama cons.
Hopefully President Trump will change all that…

The energy of love…

pearlsandrosesheadshot6Woman is God’s gift to man. Genesis 2:18,20,23,24 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; …

“There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved: It is God’s finger on man’s shoulder.” Charles Morgan

gods-gift

Love is energy flowing. It’s action.  The real reason you love someone, if the love is genuine is because of their energy… the energy of their soul. You may be attracted by appearance or something else.  But genuine love is not about a great body, a bank account, a car, or anything else but energy… the spirit of the energy from the heart and soul is what really attracts those to one another graced with the God given ability to know genuine love… “z

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In love, two opposites can come together to create perfection.

Peace is not the absence of conflict, it’s the ability to cope living with it.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”  Paulo Coelho

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” Bruce Lee

images

“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.” Kristin Chenoweth

“There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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Damaged, disordered, wounded people can damage and cause you to become so…

???????????????????????????????Ever heard the saying you become like who you marry?

Those we associate with often change us. If we are around negative people, we will become more negative. If we are around happy positive people we will become more positive.  Confident people instill confidence in others.

Ever notice how around certain people you feel happy and uplifted and around others you feel down and like the energy has been sucked out of you?  You feel that way because it has been. I have noticed that I  even can  begin to feel nervous around some people. When I feel negative emotions coming at me, I have learned to become aware, to limit exposure and  even  to exit completely.  Listen to your gut and how you feel… don’t negate or discard your gut instincts. They are a gift from God for your protection.

If and when you point out to others how you feel around them and if they can’t look at themselves, apologize for dumping onto you, then  you need to cut them loose from your life … until they can.

Being emotionally thrown up  on by someone for things that have nothing to do with you is damaging to self… unless, you set and have clear boundaries. 

I am not saying let friends down when they are in need. We all have needs at time and need extra caring but only the strong of heart are the ones capable to give this to you. The wounded, damaged and disordered will suck your energy even when you are in need  and will most likely make you feel worse whether you realize it in that moment or not. These are people to limit your association with. They are energy vampires.

Misery loves company and subconsciously  that is their agenda, to take you down to their level.  I have had people tell me that they love me and love to be around me because ‘I’ make ‘them’ feel good and calm them, then when I need their energy and help they suck the life out of me. These are the people I have learned to limit my exposure to.

Have you ever been around someone that never if rarely smiles or someone that has a negative comment for every occasion? I have and tried to lift these people up for awhile, until their damaged, disordered, wounded soul began to affect me. Then I ended my association with them to protect myself.  All I  can do then is to pray for them but I limit even cut off our energies connecting.

We can all help one another, at times, but true healing begins with self.

Energy suckers of the world are damaged people and until they deal with their issues, they will not be able to give to another, instead, they will drain those around them.

You become more like those you associate with. If you associate with man haters, you will find yourself bashing men. If you associate with women haters, you will find yourself bashing women. If you think it’s okay to do drugs then those are the people you will associate with. If you workout and are physically fit, you will prefer being around those of like  body and mind.

Everyone in this world has been hurt, damaged, wounded, etc. It’s the energy of the strong and brave that works on healing self instead of going through life projecting, and throwing up their neediness on others. 

It’s your individual duty to set your boundaries.  Like kind attracts like kind… and opposites attract. Think of how profound these truisms are and on so many levels.

annface48“Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep.” Clive Barker

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NWO under rule of UN or keep America’s sovereignty as a free country?

Hillary+Clinton+caricature+webTrump or Clinton… ? Agenda 2030 or America’s freedom?
Enslavement to NWO under rule of UN or America’s sovereignty? Trump and Melania 2
“Today, evidence came to light with regard to unbelievable elements of the immunity deals between the FBI and Hillary Clinton aides Cheryl Mills and Heather Samuelson. Two elements stand out immediately.
(1) Both Mills and Samuelson’s lawyer negotiated the destruction of laptop computers for both  aides, thus destroying ANY chance of procuring possible information  detrimental to Hillary with regard to her no infamous email server.
(2) The FBI agreed to search NO information after Jan. 31, 2015, thus eroding  ANY possibility of securing information that may reveal attempts by the  former Sec. of State to obstruct justice.

Unbelievable doesn’t begin to describe the way this smells. It appears  that the more one digs into Hillary’s practices while head of the State  Department, the more one is overwhelmed by the indescribable stench. “To  high heaven” is how offensive the smell is!!!

Of course, the question that begs to be addressed and answered is “Why  would the FBI agrees to such glaringly inappropriate, highly questionable, traitorous, potentially campaign ending terms? The ONLY answer that I can  come up with is that the FBI is a complicit agency with her completely  illegal activities.
So, the absolute necessity of insuring that she is NEVER elected to the  highest office in the land is once again underscored. The corruption that  already exists, and that will be escalated exponentially, if she gains the  White House, is beyond belief.

Couple these most recent revelations with the phenomenal town hall that  Donald Trump did in Herndon, VA today (a question and answer session with  retired, and concerned, decorated generals, admirals, colonels, etc.), and  the answers to your voting questions should be abundantly clear. The blatant, arrogant, incessantly deceptive, diabolical, lifestyle that  is Hillary (and Bill) Clinton defies one’s ability to comprehend. These  two people are beyond conscienceless! The have to meet the Biblical
characteristic of having consciences “seared with a hot iron.” They FEEL  nothing traditionally. They SEE nothing normally. They DO nothing from a  standpoint of having core values.

No, these people have deeply rooted issues the depths of which cannot be  plummeted by the normal, questioning individual. “Pure evil” is the phrase  that my brother uses to describe them.
So, with 36 days to go till “Election Day,” it is imperative that you do
your homework, diligently seeking the mind of God, and asking, Which of  these two candidates will allow me to live my values, without working  tirelessly to undo my First Amendment rights? Which of these candidates  will communicate honestly with me and not sell my nation to the highest  bidder? Which of these candidates even remotely cares about the nation and  it’s people? Which candidate will support our greatest ally, Israel, and
not work to throw them under the Islamic bus? Which candidate speaks with  great affection about defending Christian’s rights to be involved in the  electoral process–even repeatedly stating that he wants to remove the  notorious “Johnson Amendment” of the IRS tax code? Which candidate  endorses the Biblical concept of “nationalism” rather than the anti-Christ  concept of “globalism?”

The answer to these questions (and a host of other that could be asked)  should clearly lead you to a definitive conclusion. And, for what it’s  worth, a non-vote IS a vote–one that will, without doubt, allow for the  election of a completely desensitized, gratingly unattractive, deceptively  evil, and possibly murderous individual.”
Dave Kistler
President, HOPE Ministries International/HOPE To The Hill
President, North Carolina Pastors Network (NCPN)

TrumpTrump is America’s only chance to keep her sovereignty and not be sold out to the globalists, inserted into the NWO under the rule of the UN.

Spirit is what creates life in our body…

ann-smile5Just like fabric doesn’t become an article of clothing until is it designed and created as such. An article of clothing doesn’t become alive until a body enters it. A dress lying on a bed is a dead  piece of fabric until it’s put on a body then it becomes animated. A body makes the article of clothing come alive. Every article of clothing will fit  and look differently as it adorns each body. Some bodies won’t even be able to fit into it while it fits others like a glove. But there are many other articles, styles and fit of clothing for the body to choose.  An article of clothing while perfect for one body will be wrong for another.  There are dresses to wear to Galas and dresses to wear to work.  It’s all about choosing the garment that suits the occasion and the body.  The appropriate garment, but some bodies don’t know how to select what is appropriate for occasion or for their body style, so they walk around being off the mark,  out of sorts  and not appropriate. They don’t fit their clothing and their clothing doesn’t fit them.

Similarly, it is the spirit that makes a body come alive.  A body that is dead with no spirit in it, can’t move, can’t talk, can’t create, can’t move…has no life.

A dead body is just that, it is dead and without spirit to animate it.

When the body dies, the spirit exits. Therefore, the body has no life with the spirit gone. At death, the energy of the spirit exits the body.

The  spirit entering the body is what creates life.  Our body is the tool of our spirit. How our spirit expresses in our body is up to our spirit…

The eyes reveal the soul. The quality of the spirit shines through either the  light or the darkness in the eyes.  A spirit of evil will be revealed in the eyes and a spirit of good the same. 

We can either work with our spirit or against it as our spirit is expressed through our heart and mind into our body in every single choice that we make…. what we eat, if and how we move, if , when and what we say, what we choose to put on our body. What we choose to do, what we create, whom we love or if we do. If we choose bad or if we choose good, if we sin or not, if we choose evil or if we choose God. What we see and how we see it.  The spirit will  choose the body that will be able to express what it needs.  The desires of the flesh and the corruption of the mind can over take goodness. It’s choice.  The spirit will choose the appropriate body, heart and mind for the what it needs to experience on this earth and when the mission is accomplished the spirit will exit the body or when the body wears out, the spirit will exit.

It’s our spirit that gives our body life and our spirit comes and enters from God. Which spirit animating which body is God’s  decision. Which spirit that enters which body that will have the circumstances, choices, trials, joys, challenges, happiness, sadness, pain or pleasures is a union between spirit and God.  If the body, mind, heart and circumstances don’t seem to fit the needs of the spirit after trying to do so,  then it’s time to turn to God in prayer and guidance for asking and understanding.  The message of the spirit may need to become clearer or the body, mind and heart need to shift and change to match the guidance of the spirit.

It’s the spirit that fills the flesh of the body with life.

When the body dies, after living life with all its experiences and  imprints on earth, the spirit goes back to God… or to hell based on choices made while on earth. The body remains here on earth, as an empty shell of matter just like a dress taken off, tossed on the floor, it is lifeless.

Does your spirit fit your body? Does your body honor your spirit?

Body, mind and heart are the tools of the spirit… full of God given choice in each and every moment.

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Empathy and Compassion…

Ennis6We are all individual and each of us have our individual burdens and trials in life. And no one really knows what another is going through. One suffers cancer, one depression, another loss of love, one betrayal, one money issues, another self-esteem issues, then another something else and these things are usually not seen. Much is hidden behind the image that a person creates or that other’s perceive. Some hide behind a smile, others wear a frown with their anger and hurt on their sleeve. And differing human coping mechanisms can be in the same person, but at varying times.  Human beings are complex.
And really and actually, no one knows why humans have their specific to them individual burdens and trials, but God.
Think back to what Robin Williams’ death shows … a suicide of a tortured soul. He had the talent to entertain and to make others laugh and to feel enjoyment, but he was so tortured  internally that he left behind three children, a wife and what appeared like a happy and fulfilling life. We don’t know why and never really will why he took his own life, we can only surmise.  Only he and God know.
But then there are things called empathy and compassion for your fellowman that are in held in the hearts of those who believe and love God. Those without compassion and empathy in their heart can sink into evil able to do horrible things to self and others…such as addictions, lying, manipulating, cheating, maiming, killing, etc..
We are witnessing this with the cult of Islam. They show no compassion or empathy for others, not even to self.  We are witnessing this on all levels everywhere. It’s in the energy of our world today.
We each have our life to live.. and hopefully we are able to have compassion and empathy for others who are living theirs along with having it for ourselves. That is what we do as children of God.
The energy on the planet is intense right now and many can’t take it. Can’t you feel it, see  it, even hear it?  It surrounds us and hangs thick in the air, on the airwaves, etc.  permeating the world.  Therefore,  we have a choice, we can  turn and succumb to evil as evil wants us to do, or rise and lift ourselves out of it turning to God and fill ourselves up with empathy and compassion for self and others. I don’t mean have tolerance for seductive evil, such as libs/ Dems progressives/ communists have and do and  that evil promotes doing…a  bit of good upfront to promote their convoluted agenda with much evil going on, under, around and hidden.
One definition of evil is, to have no compassion towards your fellowman with the ability to act on it. And this may be accomplished in and behind the facade of doing good as that is Satan’s perfect way of expressing and promoting evil… seduction. 
 
Compassion begins with self… sound values and thoughts, morality, virtues, health mentally and physically,  goodness –  but not fake goodness that evil  and insecurity hide in, but genuine goodness  with empathy towards yourself and your humanity. You can’t give to others what you don’t have for yourself.
We are living in the time of anti-Christ. .. anti-goodness, anti-real compassion, anti real empathy… being replaced with fake compassion, empathy and goodness wrapped up in evil for Satan’s agenda, for the  purpose to rule, dominate and control every aspect of lives.  Satan and hell are controlled restriction and oppression. God and heaven are freedom.
It’s going to get rough… then rougher…  
Protect your soul because Satan wants it.
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Memories of my Dad that fill me with his love and…

A2AC1define my worth and character forever, no matter what happens in my life. In my early twenties,  I was getting ready for a formal evening out, designer dress, the works. While getting out my attire, I realized that my satin evening purse had a busted chain… not only that, but it was broken in a way that… Oh my gosh!  I thought could never be repaired and certainly not in time for  my date. It was the only  purse I had that would work with my dress and I just had to wear that dress with that particular evening purse!

Because I had chosen this particular dress just to go with the evening purse my Dad had given me for Christmas which had been his perfectly selected  gift wrapping for his generous Christmas check.  My Dad had shopped for and selected this elegant designer purse just for me and I liked it so very much for just that reason.

I rushed into the library where Dad was watching TV and in the brokenhearted frustration drama only a twenty year old preparing for a black tie affair with her beau could create,  held up the purse that was destined to  ruin the whole evening.

“Daddy can you fix it? Please can you?! I got my dress just to go with the purse you gave me. Please Daddy, I have to take it tonight. I just have to! But I think it’s broken for good … Daddy, what do you think?”

He turned from the TV with a slightly  amused but concerned smile as he took my purse from me and said. “Go on and get ready. I will see what I can do.”

Feeling better that my Dad was on it, I showered then rushed into  the kitchen to see my Dad at the breakfast counter with his tools out working on the chain of my purse.  There was also a needle and thread involved.

I observed Dad’s work table as I thought, Daddy can sew?… “Daddy, how’s it coming along? Do you think it can it be fixed?”

Dad glanced up at me and said. “Don’t you need to be getting ready. Your date will be here soon.”

Okay… Daddy, okay … I am. I will.” As I rushed back to my dressing area and proceeded to do my hair, make up, etc. I was frantic. I had no other purse that would work with the dress that I so wanted to wear.

I walked into my bedroom to get my dress and there on my bed sat my purse.  I held it up and I couldn’t even tell it had been broken. I quickly put on my dress and finished  getting ready, putting my lipstick, hairbrush, etc, into my treasured Dad given, Dad repaired purse.

Then, the doorbell rang.  I hurried down the hallway to the entry hall to find Dad talking with my date. Dad smiled in pride when I entered…. his eyes lit up as they always did when I entered a room. “Dad, you did it, you fixed my purse.” I gave my Daddy a big hug. “Thank you Daddy! I love you.”

Dad’s reply. “You’re welcome honey. You look beautiful. Have a good time.”

On the arm of my date, as I stepped out the front door wearing my poofy black satin dress with my treasured Dad given and repaired evening purse over my shoulder, I turned back to smile at Daddy, our eyes met in our special love,  my knowing of his pride in me and my respect  for and trust in him.

My Dad has been gone four years, memories often come to me of all theDadandmemahog special ways that he treated me that instilled his pride, love and created my self-worth as a woman. That imprinted, taught and showed me how I want, need, must be treated by any man and most certainly ‘the special man’ in my life.

Those moments of love, respect and pride that my Dad instilled in me created my worth. My Father,  a master engineer and builder who built the Valdez terminal in Alaska, refineries and nuclear power plants around the world, this former Navy man, pro-baseball player, pilot, yachtsman, golfer, intellectual giant, leader in his industry, accomplished masculine towering man, sat in his kitchen late on a Saturday afternoon foregoing sports on TV,  with tools and a needle and thread Daddy at pooland worked on my purse, until it was fixed perfectly for me, his precious blessed to be his daughter, because this man of so many worldly accomplishments knew his most prized and devout duty was that of being a Father.

Recently, I reconnected in friendship with my first college boyfriend and he told me how the talks with my Dad and the way in which he observed my Father treating me, molded him as a man throughout his whole life. That he observed a man protective of his daughter and that he knew, that I knew, my Dad, while being tough on me in order to stretch and to build my character, at the same time, would always protect me.  He recalled that even as immature as he was at nineteen, that when I took hold of his arm, even though I was strong, independent, out going and capable, that I expected him to protect me. And I do recall, this young man did protect me. He also told me after knowing me at eighteen, nineteen and not having seen me since I was twenty… and us now meeting up again decades later… that my Dad would be impressed and proud of the woman I have become. That I have femininity filled with my Dad’s strength of character and intelligence. And that he knew in a relationship that I  must feel safe with a man because I felt safe with my Dad because that is the world he created for me.  What a compliment and a blessing to have him share this with me.

On the flip side of this…My Dad wasn’t perfect and he also left negative imprints for me to see clearly, to break against, understand and to grow past. Because of his perfectionism and great accomplishments, while feeling loved,  I also had the imprint on me that if I wasn’t perfect, I was not worthy of love. Dad was tough on me, and held me accountable and would turn cold even harsh and withholding, when I displeased him and when those times occurred, I felt rejected, ugly, dumb, and unloved. So all my life I have been dealing with this imprint. Interesting, huh? As much as my Father’s imprint on me was that I was protected and loved…there was also the imprint that if I wasn’t perfect, I was not worthy of love.  Part of the duality on this planet and my growth to  recognize  and overcome to achieve wholeness.

As I have grown into life and full awareness, everything my Dad was as a Father, role model and teacher continues to incorporate fully in me and my psyche… both the positive and the negative. And I am fortunate that the tough way he dealt with me, at times,  and the way that he held me accountable, created  strength in me enough to have the tools to grow past his negative imprints. When you recognize the humanity in your parents is when you heal your wounds. What a blessed gift.

A Dad leaves his mark on the world by the love he gives his children along with many others as this gift floods out into the world.

A Father creates self-worth or not, in his children in everything that he does; by example, by actions, by words, and by unspoken looks.

Dad&Annbday2My Father was the example of a fine, great, generous, provider, a giver, a protector and even a fixer of chain woven with satin on a purse that created a memory in my heart that will last forever.

In the later years of my Father’s life, he shared  many deep feelings with me about his life, his choices, and about his love for me that revealed clearly his deep love for me, so that could release more of the pieces of that imprint that I am not worthy of love unless I am perfect.

Happy Father’s Day to my Father who is now in Heaven looking over me. Thank you for the gift of you in my life.

Ladies, don’t ever settle for less than your worth… Every woman, if  she was fortunate to have a good Father, deserves a man that treats her accordingly.  This is the blessed gift of a great man and Father, he knew in his soul the worth of women.

Also, the way a child observes the way their parents treat one another provides the standard with which they either will emulate or break against in their own relationships .

Ephesians 5:25-29 

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

Ephesians 5:28 

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Genesis 2:24 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

—The way a man treats women defines his character, his soul, and his life.

Jesus loved and respected women.

We are all perfect in God our Father’s eyes.  As our Fathers on earth  define and polish us, in some people’s eyes, their Father on earth defines how they think God deals with, or thinks of them, defining  spiritual connection of peace, worth and security in self.  And this is another reason the Fathers of this world are so important.

Happy Father’s Day to all you great men in the world!