You will be a predator looking for prey. It can be in many ways and on different levels… emotionally, sexually, financially, positioning in society, power, etc.

If you are insecure and have no self-control, you look for prey that you consider controllable, so that you can have control outside yourself and feel a sense of power. 

If you are insecure sexually, and unable to connect to your emotions, you will look for sexual prey that you can use then toss away. Something is always wrong with them, never you. 

If you feel lacking in an area, you will look for those that have what you lack, so that you can take and get things from them.

Sure there is a balance in sharing, ‘a give and take’ in relationships and in the world. But the predator is only thinking about, and wired to be concerned about what they can get and take from their prey.

If a predator ‘appears’ to share anything, it is just to fool its prey into giving away more and more of their power, so that the predator can get, take and use them.

Apply this to love relationships, friends, politics… Oh politics! Our government has become a predator and the people are its prey.

All the government does is look for more and more ways to take away power, freedom and finances from the people, in order to give themselves more. This is not as it should be… the government is there to SERVE the people instead of PREY on them, their talents, their works, their efforts, their resources and their very life…

When the government ‘appears’ to be ‘trying’ to help, it is only fooling in order to extract more of your rights and to take more of your power. They give alittle in order to take a lot!
 
The dynamic of predator and prey seems to have gotten more extreme in our world today…

When did you realize that the people ‘in charge’ are not all that ‘in charge’, or all that bright, or all that wise, or all that intelligent, or all that good? And that those that ‘act’ like they have all, or most the answers, just may know least of all…

What if you realize that those you thought knew some, or all of the answers, don’t know anymore than you do?

What does it feel like when you realize this…when you see behind the curtain…?

Is this just a part of growing up? Do you think that we all come to this awareness eventually?

Have you come to this realization and if so when?

Are email and text messaging hampering face to face look into the eyes real honest communication?

I think that it is! Not think! I know that it is!

There were studies done, years ago, that revealed that people who used a computer in their work were more likely to objectify human beings. There were also studies done showing that sexual predators, many times, are isolated in their work and in their work use a computer.

I can’t stand to be asked on a date, or lunch with a friend by email or text. I think email and texting can be useful, if used as an additional tool for communication, but when someone uses it, when it would be just as easy to pick up the phone, it appears as an avoidance and a lazy way to communicate. It’s detached communication, a step removed from the voice, and two steps removed from in person.

I like to hear a voice, I like to see a face. I like eyes… intimacy… touching and real in person communication.

Behind a computer, a person can pretend to be anyone. I don’t know how many married men approach me over the internet. These people are weak and insignificant in their essences. They are frauds hiding behind a machine. Trying to make a human connection through a machine, dependant on a machine, hiding behind a machine and lying through a machine.

If you don’t have to reveal yourself, but you can just type out a persona and words that are meaningless, do you diminish, perhaps, even lose the ability to really communicate from your heart and in person?

Communication has always been key to any and all human relations….and is the cause for so much misunderstanding, hurt and break-ups. So now, that so many are focusing using communication by machine, it’s taking real communication to a new low.

Sure, you can communicate faster and with more people, but how about the quality? How meaningful is a text? And do you think that you can really know, or get to know someone communicating by email and by texting? Well, you can’t and you don’t…

We are detaching from the fullness of who we are and from each other. Some may like that as they hide who they really are and their intentions. 

A man can text one woman while having dinner with another… and tell her it’s business…while he’s making or canceling a date…

I like real in person communication…

I have noticed too many times, couples in restaurants, where both are on their  ‘communication’ contraptions and missing, or avoiding the opportunity for real in person communication. 

Perhaps, in the future, classes will be needed concerning how to communicate and interact in person. We needed that as a society even before communication by machine took over…

It takes courage to communicate face to face, eye to eye, person to person. In person, the whole of you is revealed, your facial expressions, your voice tone, your eyes, whether you make eye contact, or not, your vulnerabilities, even if you are really capable of full communication….In person, it’s yourself, YOU, in all of your dimensions.

All this hiding behind this machine driven communication is diminishing real communication and who we are as a people.

My suggestion, use it as a tool, but don’t count on it to do most of your communication (especially personal) and never rely on it and certainly not to make dates especially in the beginning of a courtship. Doing so, might be cutting you off from yourself, and others, even while you ‘think’ that you are communicating more.

Put down your cellphone while eating with friends and family. Put down your cell while driving, turn off your cell while in the movie threatre. And on dates, turn off your phone, or don’t even take it, unless, you are a surgeon and you just preformed surgery and need to keep tabs on your patient.

Be where you are and with the person and people you are with, instead of being distracted, and connecting to others who aren’t there in person.

Observing people in the grocery store, walking across parking lots, and while they are driving, etc. talking on the phone… well, to me, they look like idiots… not actually present, but attached to some machine. It doesn’t make them appear ‘busy’ or ‘popular’.. it makes them appear unorganized, detracted, distracted and pathetic. So desperate to communicate and connect… but are they really? Are they really even capable?

Human interaction and communication in person is fulfulling for a healthy individual. Real human interaction enables a person to be autonomous and to enjoy solitude at times, without the need to be plugged in all the time…

Get what I am communicating here?

It takes a secure person to admit what they are insecure about in themselves… but when you are able to recognize, accept and work on your personal insecurities, you will live a more actualized, self-contained, emotionally healthy life with less harm done to those around you. 

How does one become more secure in self? I believe that it comes from self-reflection and evaluation. Examining situations and how you interact and react with others and taking the time to look at both sides, not just how you ‘think’ that it is, or how you ‘think’ that someone is, but to see things from both sides, even all sides. When you feel a certain way, examine why… look into yourself to see if what you feel is real, imagined, or a distortion. 

Example: If you are jealous, but can’t, won’t, or don’t see that in yourself, how can you release it? You can’t! You need to be able to recognize what you are feeling and why you have the emotional reactions that you do, in order to grow, shift and change out of it.

To be able to identify what you are insecure about is key. I bet most don’t give it a thought. They just go through life reacting, blaming and projecting onto others…

So, what are your insecurities? Can you identify them? Some insecurities are deep and painful, while others are right on the surface and fairly easy to see then some we aren’t even aware of.

At times, I feel insecure about my appearance. I feel insecure that perhaps, I am not doing as much as I should be…  Why am I here? What is my life for? When I was younger, I might’ve felt insecure, if I didn’t feel like I was wearing a ‘cool’ outfit or if I ‘felt’ overweight…I think that I have behaved in varying levels throughout the years in some of the behaviors in..The Insecure Woman

And we also have The Insecure Man

But now, I am mostly just insecure concerning my direction on the planet. Am I doing what I was placed on this planet to do? Am I fullfilling my highest destiny?

If and when you are feeling insecure and lacking… volunteer to help in your community in some form (not just to get your photo in the paper, or so that you can brag about what you are doing) because when you think about others and put others first, often times, you can step out of yourself. Then when you come back to self, you might be able to see yourself more clearly. Also, accomplishments of worthwhile things, over-coming and striving, in competition with yourself and challenging yourself, builds confidence and helps a person to fill up their insecurity holes…

Be competitive with yourself not others… set your personal goals and strive to achieve them.

The more that you recognize and fill up your insecurities, the less that you will have the need to lash out, respond with insecurity, turn to addictions, or project your insecurities onto others. You will be at peace and honest in yourself and that is good for everyone concerned…

I think that the older you get, if you have been self-evaluating along the way, you come to a point where you know who you are and can more easily identify your weaknesses and blind spots… What do you think? 

Just because you read something that someone writes, it doesn’t mean that it is true..

Learn to discern!

Discern : to detect with senses

If someone tells you something, observe their actions and how they live, to see ‘if’ they match their words..

If you read something, before you believe it, sometimes, it’s important to take the time to research it for yourself.

Anyone can talk and write anything…

Agree or not????

Like when I was in highschool, I was not in the ‘popular’ group. I was on the fringe of it. I was a ballet dancer and into health and fitness. I was unsual in the day.

I didn’t smoke, go ‘all the way’, or drink and certainly didn’t do drugs. So, I didn’t fit in with the fast and popular crowd.  At that age, I thought that there must be something ‘wrong’ with me because I didn’t seem to fit in. And I had enough confidence and security in myself to not succumb to pressure ‘just to be popular’ or to ‘fit in’.

Except, I do recall, in highschool, going into the girl’s bathroom at noon and sitting on the floor to give smoking a chance, in order to ‘try’ and ‘fit in’ and be ‘cool’… Sitting there with the ‘cool’ girls, I coughed, got smoke in my hair, and clothes and I hated it…. So, I got up, left and never touched a cigarette again. I found and find it disgusting! Nothing about it was cool! I listened to myself, what I was feeling, and kicked to the curb the need to go against myself to be ‘cool’.

I was lucky to not fit in..

When I look back at who was ‘popular’ and where they are now and what they look like now… YIKES!  And some are still in the same seemingly lame group. I certainly don’t ‘fit in’ with them now… Thank Goodness!!!

My friends and groups have changed and shifted as I’ve changed and grown throughout my life. Fortunate for me….very!

There are always times during your life, when you won’t fit in, and think that you don’t fit in and it may, at the time, hurt your feelings…

But when I look back over my life, those places that I didn’t fit, at the time, as it played out, I didn’t belong because they really weren’t up to my standards. Anywhere, I didn’t fit, I didn’t belong…and I was fortunate to not fit there… Even at times, when I was included in something that I thought I wanted, after being there, I realized I didn’t want it after all. It was either boring, catty, lowly and not up to the standards that I hold for myself. And I hold myself to high standards because I know that I am special to me.

This goes with men also. Throughout my life,  I might’ve liked someone and he didn’t return the feelings. Or I enjoyed a date and he never called. So, at the time, I felt hurt and rejected, but as life played out… I usually discovered, WHEW! lucky for me that it didn’t workout with a certain man.

Even after serious relationships broke up or even marriages… seeing them again or hearing what they’d become.. I was so lucky not to be with them any longer…. sooo fortunate…

Many times, not fitting in is a blessing in disguise. Being an individual and sticking to your standards and where you want to go in your life is much more important than fitting in or staying in something that you will grow past, if you are fortunate in your awareness to keep growing…

Do you eat too much?

We all do different things when stressed to the max… what do you do?