Have you ever tried to fit in where…

you knew that you didn’t belong? But you wanted to be a part of some group. And because they seemed to not like you, or they ignored you, it made you want to fit in even more…

Like when I was in highschool, I was not in the ‘popular’ group. I was on the fringe of it. I was a ballet dancer and into health and fitness. I was unsual in the day.

I didn’t smoke, go ‘all the way’, or drink and certainly didn’t do drugs. So, I didn’t fit in with the fast and popular crowd.  At that age, I thought that there must be something ‘wrong’ with me because I didn’t seem to fit in. And I had enough confidence and security in myself to not succumb to pressure ‘just to be popular’ or to ‘fit in’.

Except, I do recall, in highschool, going into the girl’s bathroom at noon and sitting on the floor to give smoking a chance, in order to ‘try’ and ‘fit in’ and be ‘cool’… Sitting there with the ‘cool’ girls, I coughed, got smoke in my hair, and clothes and I hated it…. So, I got up, left and never touched a cigarette again. I found and find it disgusting! Nothing about it was cool! I listened to myself, what I was feeling, and kicked to the curb the need to go against myself to be ‘cool’.

I was lucky to not fit in..

When I look back at who was ‘popular’ and where they are now and what they look like now… YIKES!  And some are still in the same seemingly lame group. I certainly don’t ‘fit in’ with them now… Thank Goodness!!!

My friends and groups have changed and shifted as I’ve changed and grown throughout my life. Fortunate for me….very!

There are always times during your life, when you won’t fit in, and think that you don’t fit in and it may, at the time, hurt your feelings…

But when I look back over my life, those places that I didn’t fit, at the time, as it played out, I didn’t belong because they really weren’t up to my standards. Anywhere, I didn’t fit, I didn’t belong…and I was fortunate to not fit there… Even at times, when I was included in something that I thought I wanted, after being there, I realized I didn’t want it after all. It was either boring, catty, lowly and not up to the standards that I hold for myself. And I hold myself to high standards because I know that I am special to me.

This goes with men also. Throughout my life,  I might’ve liked someone and he didn’t return the feelings. Or I enjoyed a date and he never called. So, at the time, I felt hurt and rejected, but as life played out… I usually discovered, WHEW! lucky for me that it didn’t workout with a certain man.

Even after serious relationships broke up or even marriages… seeing them again or hearing what they’d become.. I was so lucky not to be with them any longer…. sooo fortunate…

Many times, not fitting in is a blessing in disguise. Being an individual and sticking to your standards and where you want to go in your life is much more important than fitting in or staying in something that you will grow past, if you are fortunate in your awareness to keep growing…

What have been your experiences with not ‘fitting in’?

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