Category Archives: Relationships

Dating, Men, Relationships, Romance

Okay women! What do you want in a man?…Bad boys, or good?

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???????????????????????????????I get many inquiries from men who are apparently frustrated concerning this issue. They state women ‘say’ that they want a nice, kind, sensitive, and caring man, but are attracted to and choose the mean, irresponsible ones who treat them badly. Men are commenting that women say one thing, but really want something else… the ‘bad boys’…

So, I will state ‘some’ of the things that attract me to a man, but not necessarily in order of importance. And these things ‘attract’ me, but if he doesn’t stay this way… he will lose me fast…

He puts me first in his life before work, sports, hobbies, his buddies or anything else. That he genuinely likes me, ‘gets’ me and respects me even when we have our differences. That I feel ‘beautiful’ around him even with dirty hair or after working out, or if I have a cold… I never get colds, but if I did. Or okay, if I am feeling under the weather, grumpy or fat…

That he be punctual, has his life in order, knows what he wants and where he is going. No addictions, as in alcohol, drugs, etc. That he keeps his body in shape… likes to have fun, laugh and play like a child, but can also be serious, intellectual and deep.  That we have a similar sense of humor and style…

That he makes me feel treasured, valued, cared for and safe… that he respects what I offer him as a woman and values my femininity.

That he respects women in general and shows this by his actions, not just ???????????????????????????????words…lip service sucks.

That he be romantic. I am a flowers, jewelry kind of girlie type, but am also athletic and a ‘Tom boy’. He appreciates my moods and all my dimensions and realizes that I am ‘one of a kind’. That he has morals, standards, ethics and self-awareness. That he is true to me and only me and values the sanctity of a relationship.

That he is sensual, sexy and passionate and knows what this ‘really’ entails. He knows sex (he’s a grown up, not a boy in this regard)is only ‘one’ way of expressing affection…an important one, but if other aspects aren’t in place… it will die a certain death.

That he is physically active in some form and energetic… that he respects that I might dislike some of the things that he enjoys and that’s okay with him. That we have time alone and together.  That he recognizes that I am an individual and so is he… we are not joined at the hip, but bonded out of love and commitment.

He has manners, is well-spoken and has good teeth. He is successful in his life endeavors and career. He is financially successful enough for me… I don’t pay for dates or financially support a man. In my opinion, any man who expects or allows this is not a man…

That we share some life goals and he is supportive of mine…

While we all have our particular likes and dislikes concerning the opposite sex…. this is a bit of what I appreciate in a man..

But none of it matters, if the chemistry isn’t there. Chemistry is key and  the glue that holds it all together…

A personal story: I was once married to a man… where I put most all the deposit down on our house that was filled with mostly all my furniture. I cared for his young daughter, cooked, worked-out, ran errands, planned entertainment, decorated, ran the house and made his life good. I stood by him during a lawsuit from his ex. That he won because of me and what a great step-mom I was. I gave up our honeymoon so that he pursue protecting his child. He did not buy my clothing or much else and all he did was criticize me. He didn’t want me to workout or to work and he sabotaged anything that I wanted to do. Nothing I did was good enough for him, while really, truth be known, he wasn’t good enough for me… if you get the drift? He was controlling. He was arrogant, lazy and all about himself. He was fearful that he would lose me and he did.

???????????????????????????????We divorced. And I was so happy when he was out of my life. You see, he tried to diminish and control me all the while I was being kind as I cared for him and his daughter. Instead of supporting me, while I supported him, his work, his daughter and his life…he put me down…

But I ‘wonder’ what he (lied) told other women about me after the divorce? Get where I am going with this??? He ‘thought’ he gave me everything and he gave me nothing. I felt alone the whole marriage. After he won me over, put a big ring on my finger and we were married … the fun and attentiveness stopped and he became a jerk. And I stopped caring about him and getting away from him was all I wanted…

If a man doesn’t enhance my life and make it better… why would I want him? I wouldn’t! I don’t!!! I am the prize and if he doesn’t feel that way then why would I make him ‘my’ priority? I wouldn’t and don’t…

So men… are some of you, perhaps, at times, misreading and mis-telling how you interacted with your lady that you ‘now’ complain, you gave so much to? HUH? Really think about it honestly!

Okay women! Let’s tell men what attracts us to them and keeps us happy and content. Apparently, many men don’t know and would like to understand…

To sum it up… I like a good guy with a little bit of ‘bad’, enough to make it interesting… HA!

And I come first and if I don’t l am gone…

Public Service Message For Women, Relationships

It’s about you, not him. You are the prize…

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???????????????????????????????Women, what is valuable and worthy is that ‘you’ be your total authentic self, and that you speak and live ‘your’ truth… 

When you read ‘too many’ self-help, relationship, and dating books and try to be something that you are not, is when everyone gets confused and messed up. Sure, it ‘can’ bring awareness, but ‘too much’ of it can also assist you in losing who you ‘really’ are and trying to be who and what ‘someone’ tells you to be….and this is not being your authentic self… 

It’s imperative that ‘you’ learn to be and accept who ‘you are’ in all ‘your’ glory including your weaknesses and your strengths, your highs and your lows, to be the ‘you’ that ‘you’ were meant to be the integrity of yourself.

Did you ever occur to you that many who write these self-help and spiritually, inspirational informative thingys might be a mess in their own lives and emotions? No one has all the answers and what is right for one is not right for another. So, read with caution and self-awareness.

From what I am seeing there is a major and pervasive disconnect between the sexes and  even more than ever before. So with all this relationship help from these gurus… what has actually been made ‘better’?…

Simple truths… that never change and never will:

If a man wants to be with you, he will be.

If he doesn’t call, he isn’t interested. So, why be interested in him? And waste time thinking, or even talking about him… go on with your life. He’s not worthy of your time, or attention…

There are guys who are all about the chase. They get off on the adrenaline, the romance, the does-she-or-doesn’t-she like me?
Once they get ‘their’ answer (“She likes me!”), they move on. See, they were never really into ‘you’. They were into THEMSELVES. This kind of a man seeks acceptance and validation from women.They need to ‘know’ or ‘feel’ that they’ve still ‘got it’. Once the women give them the approval they crave, they move on.

Do not mistake a series of text messages, or emails for a relationship.They are text messages. Texting is cheap and you aren’t…Understand that you can send them to multiple recipients without any of them knowing about the other.

Relationships are built eye-to-eye and in person.

High standards may mean you’re alone longer. Use that time to love yourself, to treat yourself as you would want the most dashing and worthy man to treat you. Talk to yourself and treat yourself as you would a beloved child. ‘Better’ men will start to pick up on this. The ‘good’ guys want their lady to be treated well. Don’t waste your time with any man who doesn’t treat you as well as you do yourself.

If he treats you in anyway that makes you feel negated, uncomfortable, unhappy, or irritated, then most probably, he is not for you…unless, you are a fool. And if you feel this way in the beginning, think of what you will feel like as it progresses…

If his manners are bad, he’s addicted to anything, has bad grooming habits, or just doesn’t mesh into your life, etc. Then hey… how about walking away?!… Unless, of course, you like that kind of a thing…

Women tend to work too hard to try and make something work that isn’t, doesn’t and never will then they blame themselves when it doesn’t…

Don’t allow a man to define you. It’s not worth it and never will be…

Don’t let a man determine your value ever… you determine it yourself…

Stop wondering if he likes you and ask yourself, if you like him… Think about what you want and not how to ‘please’ some guy.

How about putting it back on the guy, where it belongs?!?!?!?

I am not saying, or suggesting that we don’t compromise, adjust, alter and be kind and courteous. I am saying that we all ‘really know’ when it’s right and when it’s not… and when it’s too hard, difficult even painful and you are twisting yourself into a pretzel, negating who you are to make it work… Hey, how about realizing that it doesn’t!?

Be true to yourself, not the guy…

When you know who you are and are being who you are, you have a better chance to bring to you, who you are ‘comfortable’ with…who enhances you, and you, them, along with a certain excitement, otherwise, it’s can turn into a disaster for everyone.

I am not saying that we don’t want to be aware of our weaknesses and short comings and that, when made aware of them, we work on ourselves. But that we do this without the ‘purpose’ to ‘get’ a man, or to be more ‘attractive’ for one…that we are doing what we do for ‘ourselves’…

Many men have become terribly unattractive in every way… might it be because women have ‘catered’ to them, instead of the men growing up to be real men and learning to respect women…??? Some men seem to think that they are the ‘catch’ (I detest using that word in this way) when it’s the woman who is the ‘prize’.

And if a man treats a woman as if he is the ‘catch’, instead of her being the ‘prize’.. he is a jerk and not worth being around…

Why do you want a man in your life? Figure it out. After you do and know what you need and desire, ‘pick’ the man who meets those needs and desires and, if he doesn’t, walk on by. Men may ‘choose’, but it’s the woman who ‘picks’. So, women, it’s ‘you’ who makes the decision. You set the pace of the relationship and set the boundaries of it… and men need boundaries…

It’s the man who gets down on one knee and asks the big question with the offer of a ring as a promise and commitment… And there is a reason for this. He is offering himself ‘as a man’ who will be ‘worthy’ to create and make a life with … if ‘she decides’ that ‘she wants’ him and ‘thinks’ that he is ‘worthy’ of her affection and commitment.

He may choose, but she makes the final decision…and I think this may freak the weak men out along with the losers.

But, who wants them anyway. So, they play the game of never choosing… to force some women into ‘trying’ to be what ‘he’ wants… twisting herself into a pretzel… these women have forgotten that they are the ‘prize’…And this never works…it’s the man that needs to be the man, in order, for him to be worthy and to gain the hand of the woman…

And ladies, don’t settle on the major things. Set the stage for the man to rise to the occasion and if he can’t, doesn’t, or won’t… how about BA BYE BOY!… And you certainly, don’t want to have a baby with him. Why would you even be having sex with an undesirable anyway? No one, but a desperate fool would…

Women are the keepers of the society. It’s women who decide the level and standards, not the men. And women these days are lowering their standards and that of society and this is allowing for many men to become not worth much anything…

Lately, I have spoken with more frustrated and unhappy women concerning men than I ever have. They are unhappy in their relationships because so many men are weak, whiny and wanting women to take care of them in some area, or all, and this is unnatural and an imbalance.

With this ‘equality’ deal and women trying to be more like a man…
men are losing what it is to be a man… and women are losing their need and desire for them. A man protects and a woman nurtures… that is their essence respectively. We have blurred the lines too much and it is getting fragmented and ugly…

The sexes are equal… but they are very different…and those differences are good and why there is an attraction in the first place…

When the feminine keeps and raises the standards, the men will rise up to meet them… and if they don’t, they are not worthy of your attention. Unless, of course, you think lowly of yourself. And if you think lowly of yourself, many lazy, trashy, needy, promiscuous men will attract, react and treat you accordingly.

I am a precious woman. I am attractive, intelligent, kind, caring, confident, talented, fun, silly, serious, humble, insecure, secure, strong, fit, fearful, very feminine, and much more and I know it. And if my knowing this, while becoming more aware, and being who I am and becoming more of what God meant for me, bothers a man. If my being ‘me’, makes ‘a man’ feel insecure and thinking I am arrogant, ‘narcissistic’ (the over-used buzz word of today and many use it without even knowing what it really means), high maintenance, or that I think too highly of myself, or whatever. He is not of my level and not worthy of my being around him, other than to show me what it is that I don’t want and how I don’t want to be treated.

I set standards and boundaries for myself and, Mister, if you don’t respect them then you are not worthy of me.

This is how all women should think of themselves with their own traits and personalities described…

Confidence is not narcissistic… Confidence and self-respect are emotionally healthy. And the unhealthy and insecure can’t stand to interact with confidence because they can’t control it, so they try to drag it down to their level, by calling names and controlling behaviors…’gaslighting’…

Many men these days will be sweet, complimentary and mannerly, until they don’t get what they want, or are rejected. This is when you will see the ‘real’ character and nature of the man. If they become abusive with words, actions and behaviors, or ‘vague’ in their intent, then it’s time to walk away. It will not get better, it will only get worse, if they see, and realize that you ‘will’ put up with their negation of yourself… they will escalate it as this is the nature of lowly men.

Do you just want a man, or do you want a man who respects you, makes you happy and fulfills you? (I am not suggesting that this isn’t your responsibility, also.) But if you are around someone that isn’t, or doesn’t do these things, just to have someone…. you must not like yourself much, or think that you are worthy … think about that, huh?

And if you don’t think you are worthy, why would some guy?

And lowly guys love women with low-selfworth… for alittle while anyway…

It is much better, happier, healthy, more fulfilling and everything else to be alone than to be with someone who tears you down, sabotages you, uses you, hurts you, abuses you, or is addicted (if a person has an addiction that is where their attention will be, not on you)

A guy is just a guy, but a woman! She gives birth to life. She sets the values, the standards and the morality of a society. She is the light, the softness, the refinement and beauty of the world and this is why a man desires her. A woman makes a man’s life worth living.

So women, be all of these glorious things at your highest level. Be who God meant you to be.. don’t lower yourself, or your standards for some man…
Women! It’s not about HIM – It’s about YOU…

WE are the prize, the light, at the end of a man’s dark tunnel.

Any other way, guys and gals, and it just plain doesn’t work…
and why in so many instances, today, it isn’t working.

(And it’s only the weak, insecure, lowly men that can’t accept this and will try to tear you down and will fight this and will post tacky comments. Real men know this truth into the core of their being and speak and behave accordingly.)

And real men are oh, so sexy, sensual, confident, fun, attentive, mannerly, strong, sincere and much more…

Dating, Relationships, Romance

Are men and women getting along better or…

???????????????????????????????worse these days?

Some men are more aware of their feminine side. And some women are doing the jobs of men, even fighting in wars. This is creating more butch-like women and more girly-like men….

Some men are staying at home and being house husbands…

Fewer women are housewives and mothers… as those roles have been marginalized and diminished as not doing much of anything.

Some women are behaving like men in the sexual arena…
and in the business arena…and this is creating less respect for the act of sex. In that, women are participating in it with little, to less, to no emotional commitment and this is diminishing it down to an animalistic act…which is more male-like…

So, with the sexes becoming more ‘alike’ in some instances, by doing, sharing and changing roles and jobs even attributes, is this better, or worse for the sexes getting along and being compatible with one another?

Are the sexes happier with this as it is today or not?… Are men happier? Are women happier? Are you happier?

Are the sexes ‘better’ off with these changes, and compromises or is there more confusion?

Share what you think and have experienced, then…

Look to the left and click to follow …

Relationships

Okay Men! This is for you…

Pearlsheadshot1What do you mean when you refer to a woman as ‘high maintenance’? Is it emotionally, intellectually, financially, sexually, or what…?

And when you refer to a woman in this way, is it, perhaps, because you have a concern, even a fear that you won’t be able to satisfy her on some level?

Do you call her that and put her in that ‘classification’ so that she will feel that something is ‘wrong’ with her for wanting and asking… and this gives you the upper hand. Much like the divorced man who goes on and on about how this ex-wife spent so much money… letting the new woman know that she ‘shouldn’t’ be this way…should even be okay with him not spending money on her…therefore, he is setting up a way to control her for his purposes…

Is this ‘high maintenance’ category being used and slung about to ‘try’ and control women’s expectations, demands and desires… by the men who don’t think that they can and who can’t measure up?

Is it, perhaps, more about the man then the woman?

Men, I know, whom I ‘classify’ as ‘real’ men… want their lady to dress well, be pampered and to be taken care of…
even to be spoiled on some level…and they take great pleasure and pride to be able to do this for her…

Then I know and have met men who appear insecure, angry and who are easily intimidated by women, refer to a woman as being ‘high maintenance’ with such a negative tone in their voice and attitude. When I have heard them say this… it ‘appears’ to me like, perhaps, they feel that they can’t measure up on some level to attain her affections, to keep her, or to satisfy her…

Sure, ‘high maintenance’ is a relative term, in that, what is high maintenance to one, may not be to another.

One man may have his woman living in a mansion who won’t be satisfied, until she has a ski cabin in Aspen. While, another man might consider a woman who wants to be taken out to dinner once a week high maintenance…

So, what does ‘high maintenance’ mean to you and is it necessarily a negative in your opinion?

Dating, Relationships, Sex

Men need women to be women…the psychology of cheating…

Blackwhite29Women need men to be men…

Clearly there’s a level of psychology ‘driving’ cheating that needs some deep understanding.

As far as the men who can’t stay faithful… There are many reasons. There are the men who never ‘got’ women when they were young, then built up a complex, almost ‘hating’ women for the ‘power’ they have over them because they could never have them. These types of men are emotional and often have an ‘active fantasy life’, and because those early fantasies never came to be, they ‘resent’ women. Then they grow up and become a bit more confident, or attractive, accomplished, or successful with lots of money and they have no problem getting women, but their resentment and youthful insecurity about women is still there. These ‘creative fantasy types’ can’t stay faithful because, deep down, they can’t stand that women still control them and they ‘resent’ that they even have such a strong ‘desire’ for women. They hate what they ‘love’ and ‘desire’.So, they cheat, lie, get with lots of women, and often try to control or manipulate them.
Then there are men who simply love sex with lots of women, can’t get enough, have active libidos. This comes from hormones raging in their bodies, an urge to procreate. They ‘think’ it is their right and they exhibit no control.  And usually these types of men go for women who are easy to get and want ‘uncomplicated’ relationships, too. They don’t want to deal with emotions as they haven’t the emotional intellect to do so.  Males have been given this sense of entitlement that this kind of behavior is due them…
As for the women who cheat… I think some are tired of being used by men and have decided to use them back. They are tired of the ‘entitlement of men’, in this regard, so … are taking that entitlement for themselves. Some women have been damaged, can’t love and commit, so are going for the ‘excitement’ and ‘temporary escape’ like many emotionally damaged men do. This seems the better choice rather than sitting there being the one cheated on. So, these women have flipped the game.

Also, I have noticed that many men these days, maybe, always were, are so needy. Many are looking for a ‘mother’, instead of being a grown man. This kind of a man exhausts and continually leans on a woman and she will soon start looking away from and past him. A woman and certainly an emotionally healthy one, requires emotional fulfillment and a boy/man can’t provide this, as he is too needy himself.

Whiny, baby men are nauseating to be around and whiny, needy men seem to be around more and more these days. Is this the effect of mothers being career women, with children left in need of mothering? Little boys aren’t feeling nurtured as children, so they grow up looking for it in every woman that they meet.

Women, even though some these days are behaving like men, still have the innate desire that a man be a man.

There are Internet sites that promote cheating and that put down marriage and commitment in their advertising…They promote that it’s only the “whimps” who get married and, or commit.

When it’s actually the opposite… It takes a secure individual to commit and stay committed. It’s the insecure, lost and searching who go from one conquest to another and who can’t commit to anyone including themselves. They are so lost and insecure that they ‘think’ there is always someone else who will make them feel better about themselves just around the corner. It is always about ‘them’ and how they ‘feel’ in the moment and not the other person. Therefore, no one is really ‘satisfied’ for long.

It’s in a committed relationship, where we really learn who we are in relation to another. We learn to put someone else first and to care about their happiness and welfare, instead of always focusing on ourselves. In any relationship, there is excitement and happiness in the beginning. It’s when ‘reality’ appears that we learn who we are. This helps create and define our character… But when reality sets in and the excitement diminishes, is when the lost, insecure and searching, exit, and are off to find the next excitement that will take them out of themselves… and into fantasy and escape.

For men, women very well may be the ‘magic elixir’ that makes his life worth living, but not if he cheats on her… because any self-respecting woman will shut down and close off her magic. If a woman is emotionally healthy, her sexuality is a deep part of her core… and this is what men are after… if a woman diminishes, or compromises her sexuality … she diminishes the essence of herself to herself.

What is going on in our society that love and commitment are getting such a beating? Why are so many lost, searching and addicted to the pursuit, instead of the reality of love, stability, intimacy, emotional growth and enduring love?

Why are there so many emotional whimps? Even after all the relationship, self-help books, the psychologist, ‘expert’  talk show onslaught …that men must get in touch with their emotional side and that women can take care of and support herself… that no one ‘should’ have any needs and that as a woman to desire to be taken care of and nurtured and as a man to be the provider of these things is not good. That we have gotten further away from love, intimacy, commitment and now are taking it all down to having ‘sex’…which is shallow, lacking, empty and worth nothing, but momentary release…So in essence women are becoming men and men are becoming women and it is worst than it ever was… Gender confusion all around…

Many women are getting tired of ‘being men’. Many men aren’t men any longer…. and men are complaining that they want a feminine woman… because so many women have lost the art of being a real woman….

It’s the nature of a male to be the provider, the protector and the leader.. and it’s the nature of the female to be the emotional, intuitor, the nester, the anchor in the relationship.. A male provides the space for the female to blossom.. this is the recipe for fulfillment… in this, there is balance…

So, what as a society have we done to ourselves? Male/female seems to be more confused than ever, less happy and less content with many left longing …

Because, we have and are creating an unnatural imbalance….

The sexes are different for a reason… if we try to make them the same… what we are getting is dissatisfaction in everyone and this is creating more cheating…the looking and yearning for what is found only in relationship with knowing self and ultimately that with the opposite sex.. Men need women to be women and women need men to be men….

What are your thoughts?…

Relationships

Women! The man you are with needs to know…

 ???????????????????????????????… that you will not tolerate bad behavior, garbage, mistreatment, usuary, neglect, or any form of abuse, or disconnection.

Too many women put up with things that they should not… Remember, you teach someone how to treat you…

At the first sign of disrespect, mistreatment, discounting, lying, or abuse, address it immediately. Don’t let it slide… thinking that he didn’t mean it, or that you are being too ‘sensitive,’ or ‘demanding’, or that it will get ‘better’, or ‘change’, once you are committed, or married, or if you do ‘this’, or ‘that’ to make him happy. Thinking this way is delusional….

When someone shows you who they are, believe them…

Many men want you to ‘think’ that it is ‘you’ being too sensitive, demanding, or picky. That’s part of their gig… to get away with being lazy, abusive, disrespectful or slovenly…

There is many an abuser who will say…”Look at what ‘you’ made me do!” And that’s only their BS propaganda!

Some men level the title of ‘high maintenance’ on a woman… I say HA! Why would any self-respecting man want a woman who isn’t high maintenance? The answer is that they don’t… only the men, not worth having, do…

Address abusive behaviors upfront and immediately… and if they lose interest, because you have self-respect and that you will call them out on their issues, misbehavior and BS… they aren’t for you and it’s better that you find out upfront rather than years later…

Difficult, abusive, distancing, neglectful men can become, seem, or be like a ‘job’ to women who put up with it. A relationship should be fun, happy, fulfilling even joyful ‘most’ of the time. Love feels good and if you aren’t feeling good most of the time… then ‘something’ is wrong, off, and just not right…

Sure, we all have difficulties, adjustments and issues to deal with and to be discussed. That is part of relationship. But someone not willing to discuss, communicate and look at themselves is not worth your time.

Men who can’t or won’t connect are damaged goods and why would any woman want them…?

They are tedious children and not worth the effort, they need to grow up, get over themselves, be responsible or be without you…

Many women have lowered their standards and it is hurting all of society…

If more women held to high standards for themselves… more men would become better men….Agree or not?

Look to the left and click to follow…

Relationships, Sex

Men who complain their wife, or girlfriend, isn’t into sex…

 ???????????????????????????????I hear this lots… as I wonder, if these men are even sexy. In fact, the men that I observe complaining and whining about the lack of sex aren’t sexy, sensual, attractive, or even interesting, or fun…

Soooo… no wonder their wife or girlfriend isn’t interested in sex….

Men! Just having a penis, or an erection doesn’t make you desirable…Just being a male, doesn’t make you desirable….

Many men who ‘talk’ about sex, aren’t that good at doing it… is what so many women tell me…

Men who jump from sexual partner to sexual partner looking for that ‘sexual high’ aren’t sexy, or sensual… they are immature and irresponsible. Immaturity and irresponsible are not sexy…

Commitment, responsiblity, maturity and an emotional connection are what is sexy and sensual…

If you had it once, that sexual chemistry, that connection with your lady and it’s gone… then maybe, ‘you’, the man did something wrong… ever think of that, ‘your maleness’…? Ever think that it is about ‘you’ and not her??? So, how about blaming yourself and looking at yourself, instead of her…?

Women thrive on attention, communication, knowing that she is appreciated, cared for and protected. Women thrive on romance…

Now, I understand that some women are cold, or can grow cold for other reasons than what a man may, or may not do… but…Lovers

Men… there are excellent videos that you can get, to learn how to really make love to a woman… so that you can satisfy her. (I am not talking porn, I am talking about instructional videos… but they are also sexy. Porn can be a good thing, or a bad… depending…)

The more a woman is satisfied and fulfilled, the more sex she will want. It’s not all about you, ‘men’. Women have told me that they ‘fake’ orgasms just to get it over with and to make the man ‘feel’ good about ‘his’ performance. And the women finally get tired of faking it… and want no more of it…

There is a great movie called, FIREPROOF, that I recommend… it shows how turned off a man can make his wife without realizing what he is doing. That a male being so obsessed with self will turn the best, most committed woman off…

Guys, if you want great sex…. realize it is about the woman… put her first…
and forget about your ego and your penis needs…

If the sexual chemistry is there in the beginning.. it will always be there, if it is nurtured and developed… learn together about each others’ bodies. Women have a more complex sexual make-up than men.

Most women are very sexual beings and as they get older most get even more so…

I have a beautiful friend married for years to a great looking guy and she lies in bed and has sex with herself with him asleep beside her… so hey… what is this saying….?

Men you need to wake up… stop complaining and talking about sex and learn how to do it and how to really please your lady outside of the bedroom…cuddle with her, hold her hand, buy her gifts, flowers, etc… whatever she enjoys… start all over with the romance, every so often… make it fun and exciting… to break-up the pattern of everyday life…

It’s not about your car, football, fishing, your job, how much money you make or anything else. It is about how she feels when she is around you… it’s about how ‘you’ make her feel when she interacts with you… if she feels cared for, appreciated seen and heard….

There is so much written about how to please a man and it all centers on his ego. Men’s ego needs can weigh heavily on a woman.. a man’s ego and keeping him feeling ‘good’ as a man can exhaust a woman…
feeding that ‘fragile male ego’ can be a real turn off….

Women get tired of catering to a man’s ego…. so they shut down….
and men, if she doesn’t want you… she is shut down to you… she is turned off by and to you…. and it very well may be your fault….

Men.. are you still in shape? Do you take care of your personal hygiene? Do you watch sports all day ignoring your lady, then expect her to ‘want’ you… well, good frigging luck…

It’s really not about ‘sex’ It’s about communication. It’s about the connection.

Men forget about your needs, your penis, your ego, yourself and focus on your lady…it just may get you all that you could ever desire. Can you even handle it?

Relationships, Romance

A woman’s glow…

???????????????????????????????Years ago, I was very much in love with a man who had two sons, one 13 and one 11….
I was very close to these boys. The 13-year-old was just getting interested in girls and would talk about them and ask his Dad and I questions…

Before his first dance, I taught him how to hold a girl, while slow dancing. He was a kind sensitive, kind-of-a football playing young man…and the girls loved him…

Then he met a ‘special’ girl… He excitedly told his Dad, as his face lit up,  “When she looks at me Dad, she glows. Her eyes glow! Her whole face glows! The look in her eyes is so great. And Dad, it makes me feel so good inside. There’s nothing else like it as when a girl looks at you with that light in her eyes, is it?

It’s like Ann looks at you, Dad. Wow! I
don’t want to ever do anything to stop her from having that look in her eyes when she looks at me. I love that glow.”

Pure wisdom, out of the mouth of a young man experiencing his first love…

So men, if you are fortunate enough to have a woman look at you with the glow of love…admiration, respect and all that encompasses it…it’d be wise not to mess it up…

It may not come again and it is a very precious thing to be cherished nurtured and valued…

A woman enhances, teaches, offers and gives a man the ability to become more than he ever thought he could be. Her magic, ‘her glow’, can draw out the best in him, if he is open to it. If he destroys her glow, out of abuse, disregard, betrayal, or his own insecurity… he will destroy his chance of having real love…and experiencing the full magical essence of the feminine.
And the more he destructs the feminine, the more he destroys himself, and his chance at peace, happiness, and contentment,even magic…in love…
So guys, if you are fortunate enough to have the feminine glow directed at you… flame the fires… it’s a big part of what the male/female attraction is all about…Think about it…

Relationships

Angels and Whores…

 ???????????????????????????????The evening with the Saudi Princes pretty much disgusted me. Observing their behavior, learning how they live and treat their wives offended my very being. The Saudi experience occurred in the Fall of that year and by that Summer… I found out that my husband had an illegitimate child with his secretary.

Our marriage had been weighted full of ‘his’ problems…

I married him out of college and soon discovered as he got into the world that he was an alcoholic and a gambler. He had us deeply in debt. As I saved money, he gambled it away. Now, in a horror scenario, not unlike Maria Shriver’s situation… I found he had been living two lives…  https://blog.womenexplode.com/2011/05/17/i-have-been-where-you-are-maria.aspx

He had his life with me. I was a housewife and taught ballet. He worked for ‘my’ father’s company… I wore myself out trying to make him ‘appear’ good and okay… like our life really was what it ‘appeared’ to be on the outside, but it wasn’t. I was married to a baby, who wore a suit to work, played golf at a country club where ‘I’ was the member…

His other life was that of a drinking, gambling womanizer… hanging with the kind of women that he would never marry…

He was using them, and he was using me and he was loyal to no one, including himself…Geez! kinda like a Saudi Prince… Ha!
https://blog.womenexplode.com/2012/01/09/a-muslim-experience.aspx

I recall him telling me towards the end of our marriage that he really liked going places with me because when I entered a room everyone’s head turned.  I inquired. “What are you talking about?” He explained further, “Like at the ballet, when we are shown to our seats, all eyes are on you. I feel noticed and important when I am with you.”

Just about explains it all, huh?

Soo… he liked what being with me made ‘him’ feel like. And the other women? He was with them because they made ‘him’ feel another way… I was out there and seen to enhance ‘his image’ of himself and they were in the shadows hidden. But the bottom line is that it was all about ‘him’… not anyone else, but him and how someone ‘made him feel’ about himself.

Of course, it was devastating to me to have all this revealed. Once, I found out about his secretary, I discovered that he had been having affairs ever since we were engaged.

I call it the Angel/Whore complex…The wife is the ‘good’ one… with the ‘Mrs.’ before her name and the others are insignificant playthings… But no one matters… it’s just different placements…to make the man feel a certain way and to give him what he wants…

I wonder does this kind of a man ever think about the women, their feelings, and their emotions? Or is it all only about him?

My ex-husband was a Baptist and strictly reared … no dancing and no drinking… Ha! Because he and his brothers were wild and were cheaters… Kinda like that Muslim practice, pushing their ‘morality’ when they are about as corrupt and immoral as anyone can be.

And my ex denied his child with his secretary in an ‘effort’ to try and get me to believe that it wasn’t his, and to ‘save’ our marriage, his facade. Our marriage was the facade that gave him ‘respectability’. He eventually paid her off and signed all rights to the child away.

While he was begging me to not divorce him, telling me that he loves me, always loved me … blah! blah! I find that he is having an affair with a ‘flight attendant’. How do I find this out? She sends a sex ridden card to ‘my’ house… about two days after I kicked my husband out.

After I divorced him, I never saw him again, but I have wondered, if he ever acknowledged his son. Amazing how cold, self-serving, selfish and immoral some men can be….

How and why do some men live one life that is presentable and respectable and another that is on the edge? Almost like they thrive on the duplicity of it all… the thrill of the hiding, the thrill of seeing how long they can get away with it…

Why do some men think it’s okay to live like this? We know Muslims have no respect for women, but why do some American men behave and live in this manner? Like they think, that ‘where’ their sexual organ has been doesn’t matter. But it does! To a woman like me it does… when I find a man has cheated… it’s over… And if I know a man cheats on anyone, I lose all respect for him.

There I was that evening, feeling sorry for Muslim women, hearing about how they are treated… and I was living a similar nightmare…

Is it some kind of a male entitlement that some men think they have? Is it that they ‘think’ what the ‘wife’ doesn’t know, won’t hurt her? Is it that the sanctity of marriage means nothing to some? Do some men ‘think’ all women are second class citizens and that they can treat them anyway that they desire?

Do they have an Angel/Whore complex… they marry the woman, ‘the Angel’, who gives them the facade of what they want to appear like…the respectable life, then play with the Whores?

An Angel will help a man see and know who he really is, assist and guide him along the way, helping him to be the best man that he can be and create a great life in ‘reality’… A Whore will ‘momentarily’ make him think he’s everything that he isn’t… it’s all delusions as she uses him and he uses her…they suck the life out of each other…it’s all comes down to destruction of life and souls… all for the male’s ego and ‘sex’… how lame can anything get?!

What is it with some men?…And don’t they realize, if they live like this, that in actuality, they are whores…just because they are men, gives them no escape from what they really are… They are man whores…

My sister ran into my ex lately at the grocery and reported that he is really fat and has some sort of severe health issues…well… ummm….And I heard that he went bankrupt several times… soo….