Category Archives: Women In Real Life

Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Our individual, internal moral adjuster…

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???????????????????????????????We all have one and they are all different. It’s that internal place in each one of us that tells us and decides what is right, what is wrong, what is good and what is bad. It’s created in us by the time and place we are born, our environment, our teachers, our parents, our education, all of our experiences and situations, ultimately, it’s who we are at our deepest level. It’s our core. It’s our conscience. It’s our soul.

This moral adjuster that guides and forms us through life decides who we will become, how we treat others, and how, when, and if, we will cheat, steal, lie, con, and more, in other words if we will do actual sin…and when we do, if we will have a conscience about doing so.
Some have moral adjusters that consider it okay to cheat, but would not kill. Some would steal, but would not cheat. Others deem it okay to lie under certain circumstances, but not others. Some think that if they attend church regularly all is well even if they bring the person that they are cheating on with another to church with them.
Some moral adjusters decide that if no one knows or catches them in their indiscretions then it’s okay. If they got away with it then it doesn’t count or matter. Justification is one powerful  tool of the moral adjuster. I have known some who attend church regularly, but in their lives commit adultery and lie and cheat in their business practices, but they seem to think that their image of being a church goer makes everything just fine. That is how their particular moral adjuster justifies their behaviors. The moral adjuster is internal but is reflected externally in every action that we make. 
Our individual moral adjuster has the ability and can make all things relative to circumstances and needs. That what’s right for one can be wrong for another. Some moral adjusters allow for ‘live as I tell you to, not as I do’.
Some can make good, evil and evil become good. It becomes just a matter of degree, need, want, goals, agenda, and circumstance… justification.
As Bill Clinton stated, “It depends what your definition of ‘is’ .. is… “
Those without conscience… with a corrupted moral adjuster or those who don’t listen to their moral adjuster or whom are even without a moral adjuster can be truly monsters of destruction to others.
No moral adjuster is ‘perfect’, or right all the time, except, of course, Jesus Christ, to which some moral adjusters do aspire to…
We were given guidelines to follow to have a ‘good’ life and to create a ‘good’ society…
The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:2-17 NKJV)
1 “I am the Lord your God,
who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall
have no other gods before Me.
2 “You shall not make for yourself a carved
image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the
earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down
to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the
iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of
those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep
My Commandments.
3 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain,
for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in
vain.
4 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor
and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God.
In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male
servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is
within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the
sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord
blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
5 “Honor your father and your
mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is
giving you.
6 “You shall not murder.
7 “You shall not commit
adultery.
8 “You shall not steal.
9 “You shall not bear false witness
against your neighbor.
10 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you
shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female
servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your
neighbor’s.”
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EXPLOSIONS, Health/Beauty, Inspirational/Spiritual, Politics, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Raise America’s standards…

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???????????????????????????????.. so that America can get back to excellence. America has been lowering her standards for decades to make everyone ‘fit’ in and to ‘feel’ equal. Well, we are all equal in the eyes of God, but we are not individual in that opportunity. We are all born with different strengths and weaknessess.

Why should someone born with intelligence, talent, skills, or beauty be held down and back by those without these things? To do this is hindering, demeaning, and cruel to everyone concerned.
Affirmative action and ‘no child left behind’ have destroyed our public school system. Anyone who wants a good education must now attend a private school because of these programs. They are a set up for mediocrity and for lower level to be the norm. That mediocrity becomes the highest level and it is destroying our country.
Excellence and achievement deserve acknowledgment and reward and serve as an inspiration and challenge to others to achieve that place.  Otherwise, to give everyone an award just for showing up is demoralizing, demeaning and insulting to all involved… like why put out effort if you can win without doing so?
 
It’s like a fat, unkempt, unfit person looking at a fit, slim, well-kept person and saying, “I want to look like that!” Well, you need to work at it to attain that, you can’t just claim it as yours without the work. And the same goes for this so-called ‘redistribution of wealth’. That those who have resources need to share with those who don’t. Well, those who didn’t work for it, don’t appreciate, or care for it and will soon squander it.  But the actual truth and reality is that ‘redistribution’ is really a government grab of resources that no one, but the government will ever see. Only the dumbest, affirmative action types by into this government con.
Look at our youth… many are without values and positive goals. They are like whiny, directionless, without standards, bloated, ill-dressed, ill-groomed bullies, thugs, Hollywood-like, tatooed, pot-smoking, blank-faced, lowly slobs. And the reason for this is that we have such low standards for our society.
It once was, if a highschool girl got pregnant, she was shamed, hidden away and kicked out of the group of other kids that wanted more for their lives.  Moral behavior was once what was strived for. Now, few care. The govermment pays for the baby, or she can easily kill the new life by abortion and either way, it’s become no big deal.
When I grew up, no one got pregnant in highschool because to do so, showed the girl as immoral, stupid, her future gone and if she got an abortion that would be worse, like murder. And it was all hidden and something awful as it should have been because it was awful!
So, what has made us accepting of everything that we once considered wrong?
What has made us accepting of fat, bloated, ill-dressed, immoral, directionless, unmotivated, lowly educated, ignorant people with no pride in their appearance or concern for their health?
It’s because we have lowered standards, in order, to make those who made bad choices to not feel badly about themselves. And it’s stupid.  Everyone lives by some sort of standards and values. So why are we lowering them to the easy, slovenly way, instead of raising them up?  It’s done only so the government can step in and control the masses by doling out ‘goodies’ and so the sheeple will live by the standards that the government deems as such and this my fellow Americans is real slavery! 
Sure, people make mistakes, and make bad choices and they should be called out as such, so they can learn and choose differently. They should be showned the better way and not be allowed to continue down a life of squalor, immorality, obesity, ill-health and ignorance.
 
Now, it’s turned about, so the fit, moral, attractive, intelligent, industrious people are the miniority and ‘the others’ who are envious of them want to harm and take from them instead of to emmulate, be guided by and strive for their higher standard of existence. And this is happening because we have lowered the standards, instead of pushing everyone to higher standards and excellence in their lifestyle choices, but are forcing the ones of higher standards to accept that of the lower and this is a recipe for disaster on every level of society. Also making the masses easier to be controlled by evil and destructive elements, such as a corrupt government.
Physically and emotionally healthy, morally directed people will not fall for lies, corruption that will further destroy America. But this type of people are becoming fewer and fewer. So the standards are getting lower and lower.
Watching the examples in our government, our leaders, those on TV, in the entertainment areas has become appalling.
Affirmative action  is the premise of – ‘Hey, you don’t need to try and become better, or even be proficient, or able to do the job, you will just get and keep the job because of your skin color, or because you are a miniority.’
And now, we have an affirmative action president… unqualified and only there because he played the ‘race card’, repeatedly and still does. He is a bought and paid for puppet of those who wish to take America down to take over control of our people and resources.
Obama is a weak, whiny, affirmative action president who with every opportunity given him still whines and plays the victim card. This man has no backbone, no character, no leadership abilities, lies continually and is very possibly ‘gay’, while living the ‘facade’ of a family man. His past and who he really is has been hidden. That, we, as a country have elected this lowly character is shameful and is a clear reflection of what this article is about. We have lowered American standards to non-existant for a man like this to be elected. This man clearly hates America’s excellence in the world. Everything that comes out of his mouth shows his lowly self and his lowly ideas. 
 
America needs a President of excellence… one that takes pride in what our forefathers set forth, not some affirmative action community organizer, teleprompter talker spewing lies and con. 
We should encourage others to raise their standards, in order, that they ‘will feel’ better about themselves, instead of lowering our standards, so that they ‘might feel’ better about themselves. 
Look at the faces of the tatooed, pot smoking, fat and bloated, ill-dressed and ill-groomed… they have no light in their eyes and no pride in themselves and this is what happens with the lowering of standards. It diminishes the human spirit to a slovenly, direction-less nothing, only looking for escape. Then look at those who are fit, drug-free, with morals, standards, and direction, who dress well and are groomed…most walk with spirit and have clear eyes with a look of purpose in them.
What kind of society do we want? A Wal-Mart world of freaks or a Neiman’s world of sleek, successful and well-dressed? I am not talking about money, but success and having it should be strived for, as it’s a good thing and not negative as it’s now being propagandized. But a human being can be fit, well-dressed and live well with a minimum of money. An easy example is that of Michelle Obama. She has all the resources in the world and she dresses like a hooker, has the manners, class and refinement of a hog, and has a cold look in her face and eyes as evil.
What it’s about are choices, awareness, pride, honesty, integrity, honor, modesty, morality… The values shown to us by the Ten Commandments and the wisdom of healthy living, body, mind and spirit.
I have met many a person with little money, but with pride, honor, and wisdom and the look in their eyes and the way they carry and present themselves clearly shows excellence in a human being.
Children must be taught to strive for excellence. This will push the ordinary up and the weakest to strive higher… and those who are born with excellence to lead our world to outstanding things.
 
While acceptance of things lowly will only take us down lower.  Some may get left behind, but it will save the majority from a living hell.  And Americans have always cared for those less fortunate.. it’s in our nature. 
 
There have always been places for those who can’t or don’t fit in. But when we have the moral, the aware, the truth tellers, the attractive, the fit, the intelligent, those who love America, those who love freedom, believe in the free enterprise system, those who love God, believe in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and try to follow the Ten Commandments  becoming those that don’t fit in … Hell is where we are headed. A hell of no one has anything… everyone is ‘equal’ while the government of fools control everything. 
 
America and her ways have been the light of the world. For her to remain as such, we must rise again to excellence and not accept less than.
 
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Inspirational/Spiritual, Politics, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Cognitive dissonance, one reason Liberals and Atheists may behave as they do…

???????????????????????????????Cognitive dissonance (BS psychological term) is the excessive mental stress and discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time. This stress and discomfort may also arise within an individual who holds a belief and performs a contradictory action or reaction.
For example, an individual is likely to experience dissonance if he or she is addicted to smoking cigarettes and continues to smoke despite believing it is unhealthy
One theory of cognitive dissonance focuses on how humans strive for internal consistency. When inconsistency (dissonance) is experienced, individuals largely become psychologically distressed.  The existence of dissonance, being psychologically uncomfortable, will motivate the person to try to reduce the dissonance and achieve consonance. When dissonance is present, in addition to trying to reduce it, the person will actively avoid situations and information which would likely increase the dissonance.
Example: Liberals/Atheists who avoid hearing or watching anything that differs from their beliefs because it makes them so uncomfortable. They can’t tolerate anyone to think differently than they do and when confronted, they become extremely uncomfortable because it creates conflict inside themselves and they can’t tolerate their discomfort. So they project outward that which they cannot tolerate, one way is to call those who don’t agree with them names; such as racist, hater, bigot, etc. They just can’t tolerate differing opinions because it makes their  internal discomfort levels rise. Sure this is childlike and as we have seen most liberals/progressives and democrats are childlike with childlike behaviors; as in Bill Maher, an atheist,  lashing out at Christianity.   
If there is no God, then nothing you do matters, you can do anything.
So, for example, if Bill Maher believes there is no God  and acts accordingly. In those moments, that he wonders, if there might really be a God… this will fill him with cognitive dissonance/intolerable discomfort – so he lashes out to alleviate his discomfort. Otherwise, why would it matter to him what others believe or think?
Individuals can adjust their attitudes or actions in various ways:
1. Consonant relationship – Two cognitions/actions that are consistent with one another (Ex: Not wanting to get intoxicated while out, then ordering water instead of alcohol)
2. Irrelevant relationship – Two cognitions/actions that are unrelated to one another (Ex: Not wanting to get intoxicated while out, then tying your shoes) What Liberals do.. create a diversion, example: calling names and talking nonsense that is not even relatable to the subject matter or topic.  They deflect, blame and circle talk.
3. Dissonant relationship – Two cognitions/actions that are inconsistent with one another (Ex: Not wanting to get intoxicated while out, then consuming six tequila shots) Those who do themselves exactly what they tell, or shame others not to do.
The importance of cognitions: The more elements that are personally valued, the greater the magnitude of the dissonant relationship  and the more uncomfortable they will be. As in Obamacare’s failure and Obama’s lies about it. Obama supporters just ignore his lies, as if they never happened, because to acknowledge his lying would reveal that they were wrong about Obama and they can’t tolerate being wrong. It would make them too uncomfortable.  
Cognitive dissonance theory is founded on the assumption that individuals seek consistency between their expectations and their reality. Because of this, people engage in a process called dissonance reduction to bring their cognitions and actions in line with one another. This creation of uniformity allows for a lessening of psychological tension and distress. According to some, dissonance reduction can be achieved in three ways:
Attitude: “I am going on a diet and will avoid high fat food”
Behavior: Eating a doughnut or some other high fat food.
1. Change behavior/cognition
(Ex: Stop eating the doughnut)
2. Justify behavior/cognition by changing the conflicting cognition
(Ex: “I’m allowed to cheat every once in a while”)
3. Justify behavior/cognition by adding new cognitions
(Ex: “I’ll spend 30 extra minutes at the gym to work it off”)
Clearly many liberals try to justify differing ideas by not even listening, or hearing and calling names of  those who challenge them in anyway. They blame, deflect, lie, spin… they do whatever they have to, in order to justify their thoughts and behaviors. Doing so, alleviates their internal discomfort that what they think or believe may not be accurate or real, if others think differently.
 
The Muslim practice is an extreme example of cognitive dissonance… they kill those who do not believe as they do. 
 
Liberals, progressives, democrats can’t tolerate a differing of opinions, they lash out, lie, twist, spin, deflect, blame, call names. they are like children who can’t handle being uncomfortable…which is the whole premise of everything they do… it’s all to make everyone feel okay about who and what they are no matter what it is they do, how they are, or how they live.
 
It’s a psychological mindset of self-protection and controlling others. They make wrong-right and truth-lie, in order to protect their fragile self-esteem and their inability to tolerate the possibility of being wrong. 
 
So if they have vilified someone or something and come to realize that person is really good, nice and correct … it creates such conflict in them that they just can’t handle it. Forget the BS psychological term ‘cognitive dissonance’. It’s called immaturity, stunted development, ignorance, intolerance, etc!
 
So, this is one reason that makes them so intolerant of others while trying to force others to be tolerant of them. They must be ‘right’ to feel ‘okay’… and they will do any and everything to accomplish this.
 
Think Obama and his words and actions. Obama must be filled with cognitive dissonance! 
 
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Self-help, Women In Real Life

As an artist you see things that others don’t…

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Ann, laydeeand reveal it to them. So they will see things differently, from another viewpoint and perspective and know….

 
Sometimes for the positive and sometimes not…

 
It may be by writing, dancing, drawing, music, painting, design, fashion, acting, film, stage plays… it’s expression, performance, beauty, awareness, truth, lie, reality, non-reality, surreal, evil, joy, pain, shock, horror, pleasure, torment, goodness… art is the wonderful and magnificent expression of human beings’ thoughts, emotions, and desires…
But the expression of art has the ability to distort and brainwash impressionable, immature, unformed minds, those with weak wills and intellect, lack of common sense, those without a clear ability to discern and those who are lost in their soul.
 
A mature, wise mind can hold expressions of art or information outside themselves and discern it as being entertainment, amusement, stimulation, right, wrong, good, bad, etc. They can experience it, enjoy it then let it go… and take in only that which is positive in guidance and meaningful to them.
 
An immature, not fully formed mind can and will hold what they observe as an imprint on their mind and take it as an example of the way to be, live, and act whether it be good, or bad for their well-being, or quality of life. They can be forever damaged by what they observe and experience. They have little ability to discern. 
 
Expressions of art have the ability to influence.
 
Therefore, we must protect and guard our youth, our immature, those not fully matured, from imprints that have the possibility to change who they are forever by imprinting a distortion.  
 
This is why the media is so powerful to the immature, ignorant, under-educated, weak of mind, will and spirit. 
 
Control the media, control the minds. Control entertainment, control morality, values, standards and ultimately souls. Control art forms and control a society. Control the education system and you have future generations under your thumb. 
 
Youth needs protection from brainwashing. Youth needs to learn to think and discern for themselves and to be protected from being brainwashed by prurient distortions that will be imprinted on their mind, body and soul. 
 
A free mind able to think is able to create… a free mind creates free expression…  a free mind creates inventions, growth, products, etc. 
 
A distorted and controlled mind eventually harms itself and others, falls in on itself in addiction of some degree and sort, then self-destructs spiritually and dies… 
 
I am an artist and this is what I see… I see corruption and distortion imprinted on our youth and only the most intelligent and vigil will be able to protect their minds from this distortion. I see the destruction of morality and good sense from the example of many in the entertainment, public and artistic fields and it’s being accepted by many.
 
Minds need to be free and our youth protected from evil brainwashing and distortions… they should be guided and protected until they are able to discern truth from lie and evil from good. If we don’t provide this, we will fail and fall into destruction as a society.
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Politics, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Inmates running the asylum…

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ObamaShorts…degenerates and perverts setting the standards, the values, and morality etc. Take a hard look at what is going on in America today because it is appalling.
Hearing what comes out of Obama, Reid, Pelosi, Michelle Obama, both Clintons, or Biden’s, etc. mouth must be like what being in an insane asylum hearing inmates babble would be. It’s all delusional, lies, fantasy, word salad-like, out of reality, distorted, twisted drivel.
It’s like something, or someone reached in and snatched their brains and inserted lame, agenda-filled-talking points, taking away their ability to speak the truth, reason, speak clearly, or off the cuff in any meaninful way, because in off the cuff and their agenda is revealed… with their inability to keep on script as their real agenda bleeds through their lies. So they must stay on teleprompter and talking points as they smile through their corruption and lies. Genuine cognitive abilities and compassion from the heart are absent as it’s all lies for agenda.
The same can be seen in most in the media, think: Juan Williams, Bob Beckle, Barbara Walters, etc. And in the public eye, especially many in the entertainment arena, and I do mean ‘arena’.  It’s like we are watching a circus of fools performing in an arena of distortion and perversion led by degenerates.
Sidebar – Ellen ‘Degeneres’… ummm.. interesting word play, isn’t it? The first woman who revealed herself as a lesbian on TV and so many seem to think she is so ‘nice’ and ‘humourous’ She is married ( I think), or living with another ‘woman’. Who would have thought that we would ever be considering those of the same sex marrying? And if you don’t care for the idea, then you are called a hater, or worse. You see it seems we must accept even that which we don’t approve of ,or want to accept. That which we once thought abhorrent and unnatural.  Ellen is a woman who likes to dress and cut her hair like a man. She wears little men suits and she tells jokes to entertain… well, I think you get the picture. She is an entertainer, not anything to model after. And Michelle Obama is on her show often. Speaks volumes, huh? It’s entertainment and should be taken in that vain and perspective and little more. It’s a temporary escape. Why is it that many can’t tell the difference any longer?
Were it only a bad movie, it might be funny, if seen and taken as such, but it’s not funny because these fools are destroying America… its integrity, its freedoms, its place in the world, its excellence, its leadership, its sanctity, its security, its morality and filling it with chaos, insecurity, deception, distortion, control, lies, weakness, perversion, corruption… everything lowly. They are a leadership of rancid, delusional, lying, corrupt, degenerate  fools trying to lead others into their abyss.
Knowing the truth, seeing the truth then still believing all their lies is the example of ignorance and stupidity on a level that is unimaginable. Have the brains of many in America been flooded with an inability to think and discern to see what is truth, what is lie, what is good and what is evil, what is sound and what is nonsense? Why can so few tell the difference? What is entertainment and what is real life? What is a charade? What is a facade? What is fake and phony? What is acting?
Because who could believe, or buy into what these idiot fools are promoting and selling? No one, but other idiot fools. None of it makes sense because it is all nonsense and it goes against all logic, intelligence, morality and common sense.
Their reasoning is seriously flawed and they are too self-delusional, ignorant, agenda-filled and distorted to realize how insane they sound as they keep talking, twisting, lying, deflecting and destroying, like the bad and unruly kids taking over and destroying a playground, while the good, intelligent, well-bought-up children look on in shock or amused disdain. But it’s anything but amusing. These traitors to our constitution and moral way of life are appalling and destructive to everyone in American as rights and freedoms are taken away and government control is implemented. And morality is at a new low.
All the government employed and (tax payer funded) paid and media blockheads do is talk. They build or create nothing. So why are they listened to and believed as knowing anything and certainly not anything better, or worthwhile than you, or I, and those in the private sector who own companies, work, invent, create, etc. They are sucking the resources and energy from the people into their corrupted, bloated, machine of destruction.
These degenerates suck off the people. They manipulate the people. They try to influence the people as to what to buy, how to live and what to believe, while their own lives are full of immorality, lies, facade, cover-ups and fraud.
They are bought and paid for talkers, paid to influence, twist, decieve and con. They are fakes!
So why is anyone with a brain tolerating this, watching, or even listening, other than to be temporarily entertained??? Why can so few see things for what they really are?
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Self-help, Women In Real Life

An interesting dynamic…

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???????????????????????????????Have you noticed when someone hurts you, they don’t like to be reminded of it, or to go over it, if you have the need to, in order, that they understand the full, extent of the damage they have done?

No! They want it all behind them, forgotten and gone.

Some seem to think that once they are done dealing with it that you should be too. And they may even become self-righteous about it.

These people, often times, will say, the past is in the past. It’s time to let it go and move forward… after a quick, “I am sorry”… or even a couple of “I’m sorry’s” they deem it’s all over and behind them. And things are good to go. Therefore, it should be over for you also. And if it’s not over for you.. they may respond self-righteously by word and attitude.. that something must be wrong with you if you can’t move forward and forget. They may admonish.. Can’t you forgive and forget? Can’t you go forward? They try to put the blame on you.
Well, how convenient for them.
Or they may say, I am a different person now, not the same at all, I have ‘changed’.
They know the only way it can/will be forgotten and to feel better about themsleves is when you will hopefully forget,  as they claim to have ‘changed.’ Or perhaps, what they did is so horrible that they don’t want, or can’t claim, or even think about it because to do so makes them feel badly about themselves. They don’t really want to look at their self, as to what they really did, who they really are, or to realize just how badly they hurt others.
But, if they won’t, or can’t hear your pain, until the time, ‘you feel’ that you have been heard, I say they have not changed. 
 
It takes strength to hear and own what you did to others in harm and many of the people, who cheat, have addictions, lie, con, twist, spin, steal and generally do harm  really are deep down very weak…. even spineless… 
 
Their hideous manipulative game is to throw others off so that it’s the harmed ones who begin to think that something is off with them, if they can’t go forward… 
I think that until the person is able to listen to the one they harmed, claim and understand it all and to ‘feel’ what the other felt enduring the harm, they are not changed, but still escaping as, perhaps, is what they did in the first place… escaping into addiction. The nature of these people is avoidance and escape and they are usually passive/aggressive in their behavior. 
People like this desire control over others and situations, after all, their addictions controlled for so long, so they still manipulate in that same vain whether they realize it or not.
 
So, until the one harmed feels that they have been heard and the one who did the harm claims it all … there can be no real change. 
What’s more self-righteous then a recovering alcoholic who boasts about how long they have been sober… so in need of attention for their accomplishment that it becomes like an addiction. They put it out there as if demanding you respond. “Good job!” Well, hey! How about those who have never been addicted and who have suffered from those who are. Where is there applause for surviving each day? Where is their “good job” for surviving? 
While I do think that ‘some’ people change, I think most don’t. And while I think forgiveness is key to letting go and moving forward. Forgiveness is not about forgetting… as in the past can be a strong indicator of the future.
If you forget the past, you will be doomed to recreate it and live it again. And that goes for people, relationships and countries. 
Many times, those who have wronged you, just want you to ‘believe’ that they have changed, so they can wrong you again. As in the abuser who brings gifts and flowers… then abuses again and the cycle begins anew.
Those weak of character have trouble, won’t, or even can’t really look at themselves deeply, or with clarity, so of course, they want you to forget about their past. So, they can forget about it, too. But in order, for real change to be imprinted and implemented, they must look deep into the pain that they have inflicted onto others and own it. Why should the one harmed be condemned to carry the pain forever? But, of course, that is when forgiveness can enter and release it. Forgiveness is mostly for the one doing the forgiving, not the one being forgiven. 
When one feels really heard, it is easier to forgive and thus the healing has benefits for both. A person who harms must hold themsleves accountable for that harm and not brush it off as in, ‘The past is the past, let’s move on.’ That is a flip statement, if all the depth of  pain, listening and understanding hasn’t been delt with in full.
Then the comment, “I am a changed person. You wouldn’t know me now.” I don’t know how many times, I have heard this… and it’s rarely truth. They are the same person, but have just acquired a different way to harm, manipulate, control, ‘side-step’, another addiction or escape. And that escape may very well be just a moving on past it all… I mean how tedious for them to hear what they have done to damage others. It’s just not worth ‘their precious’ time…onward to bigger and better things.. even if it’s onward to more harm.
I was, at one time, married to a man who was a cheater, a gambler and an alcoholic. After being exposed and caught, he spent much time ‘trying to convince’ me that he had changed…so that, I would not leave him.  I gave him some chances, but he never did change for more than a week.  I kicked him out of the house, after he told me he would never, never cheat again and that he loved me and only me. One week after he was gone, a suspicious letter came to our house addressed to him. I opened it. It was from an airline attendant that he was having an affair with in another state.
So gee! I guess his claims to change were a lie and a con.
Do you think people can really change, change their character and change their behaviors? Addictions create chaos in lives, and those addicted cannot be trusted because they are all about escaping responsiblity and truth. If they address their addiction, does their character really change? Maybe some do, but  perhaps, many only change their addiction, escape plan and route to get there. Run away. Fly away. Side-step. Hide.
At least, this is what I have found in my experiences. What do you think?
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EXPLOSIONS, Politics, Women In Real Life

Does Obama ‘care’?…

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beigeIs the ‘affordable’ healthcare act really about health? Or is it more about gaining data and control over your life… even to expediting your death?
 
Obama’s ‘care’ is about government control of every area of everyone’s life…
 
And it’s just a piece of ‘their’ agenda… there’s gun control along with confiscating private sector wealth, as in retirement accounts being sucked into the government…
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipDU5HkkWr4&feature=youtu.be

 

 
The take over of education, curtailing individual thinking to promoting brainwashing and changing the real historical facts into Obama’s dream and propaganda….
 
Control of the food sources as in Codex Alimentarius…
 
Spying on private citizens. Putting the IRS on those who disagree with the Obama agenda…
Quote Obama. ” I will have the most transparent administration in history.” When truth is, it’s the most hidden, corrupt and full of lying spin. The Obama regime controls the media like never before. They are the propaganda machine spewing lies, cover-ups and con. Truth is lie and lie is truth…
 
Obama promised. “If you like your doctor, you can keep your
doctor. If you like your plan, you can keep your plan. ‘Period,’ he said
‘Period.” That means no stinking conditions.
 
The Obama regime lies about everything.  Obama ‘care’ is only the tip of the iceberg that is melting America a free country into the hell of government control…
 
But does Obama ‘care’?…. NO! It’s his agenda to lie, con and screw over the American people to take over our country and insert us into the NWO… Agenda 21, in order to implement the death of  all freedoms… under the guise of fairness, equality and income distribution.
 
Lie and smile until you get close enough to slit their throats… 
 
Obama is slitting America’s throat… 
 
 
The death of America… that is what Obama’s ‘caring’ is…
 
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Love, Women In Real Life

Men! Do you know the specifics of what your lady prefers?…

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???????????????????????????????If she likes chocolate, is it dark, milk, or white? And what brand, does it matter, or not? What wine does she prefer? Pinot, Merlot, Sauvignon Blanc or….  and what does she prefer to drink with what?

What kind of flowers? What color and what type are her favorite? What brand of shoes does she love, and which designer makes her swoon when she wants to splurge on a bag or an outfit?

In jewelry, does she prefer yellow, or white gold, or perhaps platinum? Which gem stone is it… diamond, ruby, emerald, or sapphire,etc.? And what cut, cushion, pear, marquis or round? Does she like chunky jewelry or refined?
What colors does she prefer, in what applications and circumstances? She may love the color red, but not like it in certain things. What music does she like and when?
Does she like to sleep in long, romantic nightgowns, or pajamas and what mood makes her decide when to choose what?
Does she enjoy impressionism, cubism, or primitive, when it comes to art.. modern design, antique, or a mix of both?
Do you know your lady? Do you pay attention to her preferences? A wise, attentive and caring man will pay attention and know… only a fool wouldn’t. A selfish man is more concerned with his likes and dislikes and that the woman fits his needs. Men like this are not lovers, they are users and takers and will drain a woman instead of fill her up.
Ladies, wise up, if a man doesn’t pay attention … why not? Is it because he’s clueless, or is he not worth giving him your time and effort? If he doesn’t care enough to learn about you, why spend time and give your energy to him?  Women are natural givers… and many allow themselves to become drained in so doing. A wise man will find ways to fill his woman up and he can’t do that, unless he knows what she likes and doesn’t like.
A lover seeks to please his beloved. A taker doesn’t care and will just do enough to get by…in order, to get what ‘he’ wants… be it sex, attention, or just the thrill of the pursuit. He’s about feeling good about himself more than pleasing another.
A caring observant man knows what his lady prefers and he strives to give and to make it happen just like she wants it…
Many years ago, a man in pursuit sent me roses all day long.. all red ones. He filled up my living room with them. I don’t care for red roses. I like every color but red. (I discarded them all before they died. I couldn’t stand looking at them.)
Another time, a man brought me one single rose, my favorite color… (I treasured and enjoyed it) He really cared about me, knew what I liked, and took pleasure in pleasing me.
One right rose means more than vases and vases of the wrong color. One man was thoughtful and caring.. the other about himself, his pursuit, and showing off…
If a man doesn’t take the time and effort to know a woman, he is not caring and thoughtful in a genuine way. Now, some men can be taught this awareness, but others not.. because some will only do enough to get by and not really care.
Nothing is more attractive than a caring, thoughtful, attentive and caring man.. and nothing is more unattractive than a man who is all about himself.
“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with
all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a
consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly
loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.
It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and
fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim
Keller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwlz3HcYnnc

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Self-help, Women In Real Life

Eyes can betray and eyes can reveal…

???????????????????????????????What are the reasons that you won’t, don’t, will, or do look someone in the eye?

 
I usually look people in the eyes. I think the eyes are the windows to the soul. I like to look into a person’s eyes to see who they really are… instead of focusing on the image they create, or words that they want you to hear…
 
Eyes can betray and eyes can reveal…
 
Do they have cold eyes while trying to present a caring image?
 
I avoid looking into the eyes of Muslim women with their head covered, wearing a burka, or the men with them…. the reason being, what they stand for I find repulsive… as it’s of oppression and control. Also, if I am walking in an area that I do not like, or feel unsafe in, such as a Walmart, I walk quickly, get what I need and make little if any eye contact.
 
To make eye contact with a stranger is to engage… and those with whom I have no interest in engaging, I don’t look in the eyes.
 
If a person thinks they are better than another, or that someone is beneath them, they may not look them in the eyes… as in teenagers snobbing someone off. 
 
Therefore, it may be a put down if someone won’t look another in the eyes… as if the message is, you aren’t worthy of my acknowledgement, or my attention.
 
There is a person who has betrayed me, lied, and tried to harm me all my life and she will not look me in the eyes… while I choose to look her directly in the eyes, even though, I know she is of evil intent. Her not looking at me in the eyes, makes it clear she ‘thinks’ that she is better than me as she continually tries to and does me harm. 
 
At times, it’s interesting and helpful to look someone in the eyes that you know is of evil intent and soul, so that you can better discern their maladaptive manipulation as they conjure it up… observing their eyes can be for your self protection. 
 
But, I also notice that when around another person who has shown themselves to be a liar, I won’t look them in the face and certainly not their eyes because what they stand for repulses me….I know they lie and their eyes reveal it.
 
Predators and cons, sexual and otherwise, will use eye contact as one way to control. Holding a gaze and appearing to be so interested in someone can be a way to manipulate and to have power over. Most people like to be seen and given undivided attention and predators and sociopaths know this and use it as part of their manipulation. 
 
Someone not interested looks away. Someone interested looks in your eyes… but what is the motive and interest concerning?
 
I usually don’t trust someone who will not make eye contact. As it appears as if they are lying, hiding something, up to no good, or are ashamed of something, maybe, even themselves… or more innocently they might be shy… 
 
But on the flip side, I don’t trust someone who watches me too closely, or intently and tries to meet my eyes for too long… especially someone I have just met, because it feels intrusive and controlling.
 
Eye contact is a way to increase intimacy. Psychologist Dr. James Laird conducted extensive experimentation into what they called “mutual gazing,” where complete strangers were paired off and instructed to look into each other’s eyes for an extended period of time. When questioned on their feelings for each other, the subjects who had made eye contact said they had stronger feelings of affection and attraction than those who looked at hands or other body parts. 
 
The general belief is that eye contact is a signal of dominance in the animal kingdom, so being able to meet a gaze without flinching sends an instinctual message that the gazer is an alpha breeder.
 
Then there’s giving someone the evil eye.
 
Looking into someone’s eyes can show you who they really are… is that why some avoid eye contact? 
 
Eye contact reveals feelings, emotions and inner thoughts. 
 
Eye contact is intimate. Lovers enjoy gazing into one another’s eyes…
 
This eye contact thing is complex, interesting and confusing…
 
When do you make eye contact or not?
 
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Women In Real Life

‘Old’ friends…

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???????????????????????????????I commented to an ‘old’ friend that I love flowers… and when it comes to roses, I like peach, white, yellow, or pink.. any color, but red.

A week later he shows up at my door with red roses…
I thank him while thinking… ‘red’?
 
He says, “You said you especially like red roses…”
Getting a vase, I think strange then chuckle to myself as I ask… “Do you remember what I said last week?”
“Yes. That you love flowers and especially red roses.”
“Do you have a bit of a problem with your hearing?”
Self concsiously, “Yes. I do. Yes, at times…. why?”
“I really appreciate the flowers and I love all flowers,  but red .. .well..”
“You don’t like red roses? I thought your expression strange when I walked in.”
“All flowers are beautiful and I appreciate the gift… but, I prefer white, yellow, peach, pink…”
He adds. “Any color, but red?”
We laugh…
“Darn.. next time, I’ll bring white.”
I reflect, perhaps, other misunderstandings with this man have been because of his loss of hearing… or is it that he doesn’t really listen…?
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