I usually look people in the eyes. I think the eyes are the windows to the soul. I like to look into a person’s eyes to see who they really are… instead of focusing on the image they create, or words that they want you to hear…
Eyes can betray and eyes can reveal…
Do they have cold eyes while trying to present a caring image?
I avoid looking into the eyes of Muslim women with their head covered, wearing a burka, or the men with them…. the reason being, what they stand for I find repulsive… as it’s of oppression and control. Also, if I am walking in an area that I do not like, or feel unsafe in, such as a Walmart, I walk quickly, get what I need and make little if any eye contact.
To make eye contact with a stranger is to engage… and those with whom I have no interest in engaging, I don’t look in the eyes.
If a person thinks they are better than another, or that someone is beneath them, they may not look them in the eyes… as in teenagers snobbing someone off.
Therefore, it may be a put down if someone won’t look another in the eyes… as if the message is, you aren’t worthy of my acknowledgement, or my attention.
There is a person who has betrayed me, lied, and tried to harm me all my life and she will not look me in the eyes… while I choose to look her directly in the eyes, even though, I know she is of evil intent. Her not looking at me in the eyes, makes it clear she ‘thinks’ that she is better than me as she continually tries to and does me harm.
At times, it’s interesting and helpful to look someone in the eyes that you know is of evil intent and soul, so that you can better discern their maladaptive manipulation as they conjure it up… observing their eyes can be for your self protection.
But, I also notice that when around another person who has shown themselves to be a liar, I won’t look them in the face and certainly not their eyes because what they stand for repulses me….I know they lie and their eyes reveal it.
Predators and cons, sexual and otherwise, will use eye contact as one way to control. Holding a gaze and appearing to be so interested in someone can be a way to manipulate and to have power over. Most people like to be seen and given undivided attention and predators and sociopaths know this and use it as part of their manipulation.
Someone not interested looks away. Someone interested looks in your eyes… but what is the motive and interest concerning?
I usually don’t trust someone who will not make eye contact. As it appears as if they are lying, hiding something, up to no good, or are ashamed of something, maybe, even themselves… or more innocently they might be shy…
But on the flip side, I don’t trust someone who watches me too closely, or intently and tries to meet my eyes for too long… especially someone I have just met, because it feels intrusive and controlling.
Eye contact is a way to increase intimacy. Psychologist Dr. James Laird conducted extensive experimentation into what they called “mutual gazing,” where complete strangers were paired off and instructed to look into each other’s eyes for an extended period of time. When questioned on their feelings for each other, the subjects who had made eye contact said they had stronger feelings of affection and attraction than those who looked at hands or other body parts.
The general belief is that eye contact is a signal of dominance in the animal kingdom, so being able to meet a gaze without flinching sends an instinctual message that the gazer is an alpha breeder.
Then there’s giving someone the evil eye.
Looking into someone’s eyes can show you who they really are… is that why some avoid eye contact?
Eye contact reveals feelings, emotions and inner thoughts.
Eye contact is intimate. Lovers enjoy gazing into one another’s eyes…
This eye contact thing is complex, interesting and confusing…
When do you make eye contact or not?
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