Category Archives: Self-help

Irony, Self-help

Freak show! Instead of a refined world of class…

are we living in a gaudy world that is crass? Instead of less is more, are we living too much is better…?

I look around and gag!!!

Fat pig people dress like sloppy fools, proud of their gluttony. A first lady that looks like Ghetto trash who many time dresses, acts and looks like a transvestite, or a hooker while she is touted as being a ‘fashion icon’ by the bought and paid for corrupted media.

Some men look like women and some women look like men.

Money can’t buy class. Look at many Hollywood types… they act and live like ‘an immoral freak show’ with their lives on display for all to see and for many in the clueless, ‘unable to think for themselves’, masses emulate their example. Many in the masses can’t discern that it’s all a freak show…entertaining to watch, but not to live…

Many people these days seem to enjoy, even strive to act and look like freaks…
A ‘president’ that talks about ‘fairness’, while he lives like the dictator of some third world country.

Think of third world dictators, they live like gaudy, over-indulgent pigs (remember Emelda Marcos and her shoes, now think Michelle Obama and her garish wardrobe and continual vacations), while most the people, ‘their loyal subjects’, starve, live in squalor, poverty and illness, while ‘the few’ entertain and support, in order, that they stay in ‘favor’ of the regime. And this is what the Obama Regime wants for America. To quote Obama, “I punish my enemies and reward my friends.” Those are the words and actions of a dictator, ‘a Chicago Mafia, Muslim thug’, not a President.

Then we have the non-Americans moving to our country trying to change the view to something un-American and certainly anti-Christ…

And we are ‘supposed’ to accept their strange way of dressing, beliefs and habits, while they ignore even tear ours down…

Everywhere we look, it’s the Star War’s Bar… But this is not a movie this is our America.

What is happening to our country and what do we do about it…?
America was built upon, In God We Trust, not an anything goes freak show of immorality, lies, cons, power hungry thugs, etc…

America is by the people and for the people… not corrupt the people, change and dumb down the people, demoralize the people so that they don’t know who they are and are more easily controlled for the purposes of a government that becomes more corrupted by the day.

I look around and don’t recognize our America… It scares me and literally makes me physically, mentally and emotionally ill. So, I turn to God and ask for comfort and intervention…

Anyone else feel the same way?…

Self-help

“Nothing in the world can take the place of…

???????????????????????????????…persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not: unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent.” Calvin Coolidge 1872-1933

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Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

???????????????????????????????Is this quote by Anais Nin accurate or not? It sounds plausible. It sounds interesting. BUT! I have only gotten into harms way when I thought people where being as honest and as true as I was. When I saw things as I am, I was WRONG! When I saw things as I am, I, often times, got screwed over.

It wasn’t until I had lived much life with enough experiences to realize that most people are not truthful, honest, or kind. They may ‘appear’ kind, if they are after something.

After enough pain, I woke up to be able to see clearly… both the good and the bad in people. Then my life became even more honest, in that, I could see behind motives into intent. I saw and realized that most people are not as I am.. I saw what was real, not what I hoped it was, or how I idolized it to be…

I could see through the facades…

So my take on that quote is that in many instances, it is BS! NewAge BS…

Like the saying, ‘You attract what you are.’ More BS! Can it be true at times? Sure! But not always…

Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people. Thus, projection involves imagining or projecting the belief that others originate those feelings.

So, if you are good you can see others as also being good and be completely wrong… it is not just about the projection of negative traits…as most seem to think.

Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted unconscious impulses or desires without letting the conscious mind recognize them. And this usually relates to your negative traits… huh?

According to Sigmund Freud, ‘projection’ is a psychological defense mechanism whereby one “projects” one’s own undesirable thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings onto someone else.

‘Emotions or excitations which the ego tries to ward off are “split out” and then felt as being outside the ego…perceived in another person’.  It is a common process. The related defense of ‘projective identification differs from projection in that the impulse projected onto an external object does not appear as something alien and distant from the ego because the connection of the self with that projected impulse continues’.

Example: A person might have thoughts of infidelity with respect to a spouse. Instead of dealing with these undesirable thoughts consciously, the subject unconsciously projects these feelings onto the other person, and begins to think that the other has thoughts of infidelity and that the other may be having an affair.

In this way, the subject may obtain ‘acquittal by his ‘conscience’ – if he projects his own impulses to faithlessness on to the partner to whom he owes faith’.  In this sense, projection is related to denial, arguably the only more primitive defense mechanism than projection, which, like all defense mechanisms, provides a function whereby a person can protect the conscious mind from a feeling that is otherwise repulsive.

Projection can also be established as a means of obtaining or justifying certain actions that would normally be found atrocious or heinous. This often means projecting false accusations, information, etc., onto an individual for the sole purpose of maintaining a ‘self-created illusion’.

While engaged in projection, individuals can be unable to access truthful memories, intentions, and experiences, even about their own nature, as is common in deep trauma.

Freud in my opinion has some validity as do many… but…

As you grow and become to see and recognize others’ perceptions, desires and motivations, both the good and the bad… then you can really see who the person is…

What another says or does may or may not have anything to do with you. And it’s wise to see them as they are, not how you ‘perceive; them to be. That way you are more able to protect yourself from harm…

FYI.. I have read a ton of Freud… And I say … BS!  Good try form maybe, back in the dark ages of psychology/psychiatry. In my opinion, we are much more complex than Freud saw or had the ability to figure out. Just how messed up were Freud and Jung? Were they ‘projecting’ who they are onto the world of psychology/psychiatry?

‘Projection’.. is used often times as an excuse when truth is being seen. I have had people tell me that I was ‘projecting’ when I was seeing exactly who they are… and they were ‘trying’ to deflect it away from themselves…

Have you ever had this happen? I am extremely self-reflective… and people who try to ‘claim’ that I am ‘projecting’ usually make me laugh outloud…

What do you think, is this an accurate quote? “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Revealing or Hiding the Truth of ‘Your’ Being…

???????????????????????????????Anyone can pretend to be indifferent, or project an illusion of themselves that hides the truth of their being. It takes a helluva lot more strength and conviction to be real and risk pain than it does to hide and be safe, or rather be what you ‘think’ it safe.

We’ve all been hurt, disappointed, or made mistakes in some way and in varying degrees, but it is how we process that hurt that either clears us, or blocks us further. These are our lessons to be experienced here on earth…

So many of us are walking facades, hiding behind our job, our car, our clothes, our shoes, our title, our anger, our ‘religion’, in addictions, etc…. pretending what we ‘think’ we ‘should’  be…  that word ‘should’.. bad word. And all of this is temporary and of this earth…all we really have is our soul…

I have shared and exposed myself on my site for the purpose of awareness for others. I am an open, giving person and people like me put ourselves out there and sometimes it can be hurtful. Some have attacked and criticized me for my forthrightness and sharing. Instead of seeing the strength and courage it takes to be real, they twist it, in order, to suit their needs…???????????????????????????????

I am an upfront, tell it like it is, woman and sometimes this has gotten me ridiculed even attacked, but I am always true to me and what God guides me to be…It’s as if I was born with this gift, or curse, depending on how one looks at it and what is happening at the time and in any given moment. I have friends who tell me that they come to me when they want the truth. I have been told that I tell it like it is and they like that about me even though it ‘smarts’ at times. This is something that I have grown to be proud of about myself…

When I am not being ‘real’  and true to myself… I feel false and I ‘detest’ that feeling. It feels plain terrible to me…it makes me feel twisted up internally…

Others don’t and won’t stop me from being the real me and hopefully won’t stop you from being the real you… living in your truth. When you can acknowledge who you really are, is when you are set free. It may not be easy, but freedom of the spirit is the only way to really live.

We will always have our blind spots as human beings who live on earth, but the more we can live and be in the truth of what God meant for us to be individually by our genetics, personality and circumstances, the more truthful we will be to ourselves…

Here’s to the courage and conviction of being true to yourself!

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Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help

The intent and emotion behind words…

???????????????????????????????Intent and emotion are more important than words. Intent and emotion give words their real meaning.

Are the words spoken with restraint, calculation, caution, manipulation, anger, deception, love, clarity… the same words, or phrase with different intent and emotion will have completely different meanings…

So, it’s not the words. It’s the intent … the emotion that matters…

Can you hear the emotion, the intent in the words spoken to you? We need to become able to listen with more than our ears. We need to listen and hear with all of our senses and most especially our gut instincts.

Some try so hard to hide their emotion, their intent, their pain, their agenda, that when they speak.. their words are so ‘contrived’ and full of hidden and conflicted meanings that everything about the words ring false…

When the purity of emotion, intent and the words come together is when it all rings true….

The pure of heart and intention can ‘usually’ identify and see the deception more readily than others, but sometimes, they can be the easiest to fool. Cons can see through cons as they say…

As people experience and age,’their intention behind the words radar’, ‘usually’ becomes keener. That’s why and how the youth are so easily swayed… and why people such as Obama go after them. They want to imprint them with their ‘contrived’ words used for their agenda…

As the world gets more and more corrupted… words are meaning less and less… it’s the emotion, the feelings, the intent that we all need to be hearing and listening for. What is the real meaning behind the words?

Words, these days, are being uses as a tool to manipulate…

Word masters and manipulators rely on their ‘words’ being taken at their face value…and in this day and time, this is exactly what we should not do.. take them at their first appearance. I say take them for their agenda and intention.

Obama is a prime example of this duplicity, where emotion, agenda, actions and intent do not match with his words…

Look up Leviathan… I have written about this often. Leviathan is the ‘devil’ of confusion, fog, misconception and duplicity, confusion in communication, in words, and he precedes Satan…And this is what is running rampant in our world today…

Learn to discern… see the emotions, the intent, the agenda behind and in the words… We must all do this, while viewing the public arena and also in our private lives. It’s imperative…

We all use the ‘same words’… it’s the intent, agenda and emotion in and behind them that matters…

After all, a lecherous playboy says the words, “I love you.” with ill-intent… while a person with sincere love in their heart uses the same words…One is true, the other false… it’s the intention, agenda, emotion that matters in the words used…

After all, “I hate you”… can even mean,”I love you”…in certain circumstances… can’t it, huh?

Actions match words, or it is crazy making… foggy… Leviathan-like … and this is what cons do.They want you to hear only their words and not to be able to see behind, through and in them…

“A rose by any other name will smell just as sweet.” Shakepeare

Self-help

What is the ultimate betrayal?

cru6Is it if your husband, or wife has an affair? Is it if your sister has an affair with your husband?

Is it a President lying to the people and selling a country out? Is it a parent sexually abusing a child?  Is it any adult abusing a child?

Is it any lie?

Is it pretending to be something you aren’t  in order, to get, or to take something from someone?

Is it a husband gambling away all the family’s money? Is it a man fathering a child and denying its existence? Is it a mother having child after child with no knowledge of who their fathers are to gain money from the government? Is it a woman telling a man that she is pregnant to force him to marry her?

Is it killing another human being? Is it not wanting to hear the truth because then you would have to do something about the lie?  Is any lie a betrayal?

Is it telling someone that you love them for your own gain? Is it marrying someone for money? Is it saying the words, “I love you” to get sex?

Some definitions of betrayal:

1. a. To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one’s country. b. To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans.
2. To be false or disloyal to: betrayed their cause; betray one’s better nature.
3. To divulge in a breach of confidence: betray a secret.
4. To make known unintentionally: Her hollow laugh betrayed her contempt for the idea.
5. To reveal against one’s desire or will.
6. To lead astray; deceive.Is the ultimate betrayal, any evil, that intentionally hides itself in good?

So what, in your opinion, is the ultimate betrayal?…

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Men, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Blown away by the way ‘some’ men…

Blackwhite24talk to a woman…
Okay… what would you think and do if a man solicited your attention repeatedly to offer his services in a business interaction. And finally, you respond because you ‘think’ that you ‘might’ have an interest in his service. It’s what he is offering you, you did not contact him. He sends you his resume and some samples of his work which appear fine.  

The first conversation with him is informative and interesting. But in the next phone conversation, he makes continual references to your body as being voluptuous. It could ‘sort of’ be excused, in that, you are talking about a character in a book. But he says your body is ‘voluptuous’ about six times and he asks personal questions. (red flags) And then in the next email, he writes that for his ‘pay’, he asks only that you marry him and never leave him… he also writes that you are beautiful and have a certain glow about you…

He also writes in an email that he showed your photo to a kid that lives above him and this kid said that you are ‘hot’.

You write back that this is sweet, but you are only interested in the  business project…besides, why would he show your photo to
anyone?

His reply. “Dear, don’t nag.”

Your reply. “Excuse me?”

His reply. “Excuse you? Why, did you burp?”

Having experienced quite enough, you write back that you are not interested in any association with him and that you don’t appreciate him continually referring to your body.

Indignant, defensive and patronizingly, he replies that he was only being friendly. That you are being arrogant and you need to get over yourself because you are not all that attractive… and that ‘you’ need to apologize to ‘him’…because he was only sharing a ‘story’ about the kid, and that you are being too sensitive. And that you shouldn’t kick a ‘gift horse’ in the mouth.

HA!… soooo…Whew!  Yes… this happened to me and this from a man who has commented repeatedly for months that he enjoys my writing, agrees with me and my site. So, he ‘should’ know what I am about, or he ‘thought’ he did, or he doesn’t know how to conduct business, or he is a stupid oaf, because, if this had occurred in an actual place of business, his words would be considered sexual harassment.

So, over the Internet in a ‘business’ interaction this man disrespects me, comes onto me and when I call him out on it, instead of apologizing… he ‘tries’ to point the finger at me, put me down and patronize me. And he was the one continually talking about my appearance not me…

Also, when he first talked about my body, of course, I was offended, but I let it slide to gather more info, since I am becoming more aware everyday that ‘many’ men are ‘completely ignorant’ about how to talk and interact with a woman. Some seem to think that saying things like this man said to me are ‘compliments’. But what it does is to make a woman feel objectified and this is insulting on every level. Was that his intention? To pull some kind of ‘male dominance.’

Do men these days, because of movies and the way, in some cases, we see women being portrayed and disrespected and the way many women disrespect themselves, ‘think’ that they can interact in this manner?

I have never seen anything like what I am seeing today…sure there have always been the jerks and always will be. But the lack of manners, juvenile behavior, low respect level, and ignorance of ‘some’ men these days, goes beyond the pale… and it blows me away in shame for them. Are they so insecure and needy that they will take any and every opportunity to objectify, try to stick it to and take a woman down to their lowly level?

What do you think? Do you agree or not? And what would you have thought and what would you have done?

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Dating, Men, Romance, Self-help, Women In Real Life

What a man really craves…

???????????????????????????????is EMOTION. Emotion that he can’t find in himself. Emotion that will make him feel like a whole man… a fulfilled man…a complete man…

A man may talk about what he ‘thinks’ of as “drama” in a woman — but emotion is something completely and entirely different than drama.

Emotion, ‘expressing emotion’, is the missing piece for a man. And many tie this craving and need to sex… because sex ‘temporarily’ helps ‘some’ men to ‘feel’. It’s allows him to lose himself…And sure some emotionally dead/damaged men and women can have sex without feelings, emotions, or much anything else… other than temporary escape.

But what they are really looking for is to feel … to feel emotion… to experience those intense feelings that fill you up with emotion…glorious emotion. But it isn’t sex that does it… it’s the feelings, the emotions connected to the heart through sex that ‘can’ do it… And when you are in love, it can be emotionally bonding, otherwise…not so much.

When a man exclaims, ‘I had the most incredible evening with a woman’. He is ‘usually’ talking about having what ‘he considers’ great sex… and, or that the woman ‘touched his emotions’ That place in him that feels… and transcends himself… that makes him feel like more of a man… more whole and complete and in touch with his heart and soul…

Sex is a part of it, can be a part … but it is ‘only’ a part…

Some men, think it’s all sex and so do some women, especially, these days, when ‘some’ women are ‘acting’ and ‘behaving’ like men…and it’s allowing for no one being really ‘connected’ to anyone…including a connection to themselves… so the emotional connection to self and others is being further diminished… and there are more lost and desperate people roaming around looking for a place to connect. Hence all the ‘sexual promiscuity’ and ridiculous emphasis on sex when it is premature to the nature of the relationship or interaction. The needy and emotionally stunted put sex first before any connection because they are unable to make a deep, real connection…They can’t connect through real emotion so they connect by sex.

Males are looking to get out of their heads, into their hearts, bodies and into the emotion that they crave…

Emotion is what connects… the sharing of emotion and most women have it innately, unless they ignore, deny it, or have been damaged in some way.

The emotional connection is what a man craves…

Do you agree?…

FOOD, Fun, Self-help, Women In Real Life

What is it that you do that is a bit decadently crazy weird?…

3 Comments

 ???????????????????????????????Me?… Well, when I have an iced, ‘glazed’ donut, or sweet roll craving which is rare, but when it does occur, it can be quite intense….

I will lick, or bite the glazed icing off  munching just the crusty cake part that is closest to the icing then toss the rest away…

There is something about the fried taste with the sweet sugary glaze that just calls my name about once a year…

And when it does, I do it over and over again… eat and lick, eat and lick… doing this ‘satisfies’ me without all that dough stuff filling me up …

Donut holes are my best choice, less dough, don’t you know…

So, what is it that you do? It doesn’t have to be about food…. just about ‘whatever’, or anything…

We all have strange, ‘weird’ even a bit ‘crazy’ little things that we do. That well, ‘maybe’, we don’t really want others to be ‘privy’ too… and we ‘certainly’ do them in private…

I certainly wouldn’t do this lick, munch and throw away donut thingy in front of anyone….

Soooo what’s yours? We won’t tell anyone. Really, we won’t!!!
And don’t tell anyone about my donut glazed icing fetish… Ok? Okay!!!

So tell us … Tell! Tell! Tell!… and you don’t have to use your ‘real’ name…

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Self-help, Women In Real Life

Whatever your focus, it is what’s bothering you…

???????????????????????????????If something is weighing on your mind, you can’t stop thinking about it and it rears its head in your focus…it’s what you need to look at, fix, repair, take care of, do, or learn about, or from… in order, for it to not be your focus…

If something doesn’t bother you, it’s not on your radar …and probably is pretty much working in your life just fine…

Example: If you have a pain in your neck, all you do is think of the pain and your neck…When the pain is gone, your neck doesn’t even cross your mind…

So, think about where, and what your focus is on…because that’s your issue or focus…. look at it, examine it, analyze it, if need be, and try your best to work on it, or to correct it..

HAHAHA!… then you can be open to go onto another issue that is bothering you… That’s life! Huh?

Example: My closet was bugging me. Each time, I walked in it… I thought, I need to clean it and clean it out. I need to. I need to get this done. Finally, yesterday, I spent hours doing just that…  and I felt so good having done it. But now, my drawers are bothering me and are on my mind… I need to clean them all out…

Make sense or not?… Ever felt this way, or had this happen?

So think about it, where’s your focus? What do you need to do, take care of, correct, work on… fix, etc?… Do it … so you can be open for more, to going on, going forward…