Category Archives: Women In Real Life

Whatever your focus, it is what’s bothering you…

???????????????????????????????If something is weighing on your mind, you can’t stop thinking about it and it rears its head in your focus…it’s what you need to look at, fix, repair, take care of, do, or learn about, or from… in order, for it to not be your focus…

If something doesn’t bother you, it’s not on your radar …and probably is pretty much working in your life just fine…

Example: If you have a pain in your neck, all you do is think of the pain and your neck…When the pain is gone, your neck doesn’t even cross your mind…

So, think about where, and what your focus is on…because that’s your issue or focus…. look at it, examine it, analyze it, if need be, and try your best to work on it, or to correct it..

HAHAHA!… then you can be open to go onto another issue that is bothering you… That’s life! Huh?

Example: My closet was bugging me. Each time, I walked in it… I thought, I need to clean it and clean it out. I need to. I need to get this done. Finally, yesterday, I spent hours doing just that…  and I felt so good having done it. But now, my drawers are bothering me and are on my mind… I need to clean them all out…

Make sense or not?… Ever felt this way, or had this happen?

So think about it, where’s your focus? What do you need to do, take care of, correct, work on… fix, etc?… Do it … so you can be open for more, to going on, going forward…

The Insidious Evil of Energy Suckers…

???????????????????????????????Okay! This is embarrassing, I am sharing it for awareness and as a warning…

When you are around someone, check in with yourself. How do you feel? Happy? Anxious? Insecure? Confident? Needy? Beautiful? Ugly?

It’s important to respect your feelings and to ask yourself WHY you’re having them. Are the feelings because of ‘your’ insecurity, sense of lack, jealousy, or dislike of self, being triggered around this person?

Or are you picking up on ‘how they feel about themselves’? Are they projecting their insecurity and unhappiness onto you. Is this person just bad for you? Is this person trying to drag you down to their level?

If you’re unsure, write down the pros and cons, doing this should reveal what you need to know.

Example: Years ago, I met a man who approached me about buying my car. On this premise, we interacted, but he soon dropped talking about my car and pursued me.

I really wasn’t interested, then he came on stronger. I still wasn’t attracted, but was in a lull in my life, so reasoned, he seemed pleasant enough (bad decision). I had parted from a man, after a four year relationship … five months earlier…so, was into myself and healing…

This man was obviously ‘after’ me, he kissed me one night which meant nothing to me. I was not into him and I told him so, yet he persisted (I continued seeing him, bad choice).

Even though he was pursuing me, I noticed, he never complimented me about anything. He never told me, I looked pretty, or what I was wearing was attractive. He said things like, “You’re ‘lucky’ to be thin. It must be your genetics.”  He gave me credit for nothing, attributing everything to ‘luck’.

He put me down, actually, made fun of me because I enjoy writing, and spiritual studies, that I workout regularly, that I like ballet, opera, art and the preforming arts, movies, etc. He didn’t understand why I had different kinds of art hung on one wall. He didn’t appreciate my eclectic decorating style. His tiny apartment looked like it was decorated by his mother, or grandmother and I learned that it was. It was horrible with granny curtains, etc.

He whined continually about his bad luck. He was turning out to be pretty much a drag. When he first met me, he ‘claimed’ to have money, but soon began whining about not having any. He dreamed about winning the lottery. I have never bought a lottery ticket.

He had lost his job as a pilot. So, ‘buy my car’…. yeah right! A friend, I’d known for 25 years, at my request, introduced him to a well-connected pilot, to try, and assist him in getting a job. What I got for being kind, was this man telling me, that ‘my friend of 25 years’ really didn’t like me. Just as my friend of 25 years told me that this man was bad mouthing me to her and that she didn’t think he was good for me, or that he was a ‘good’ man.

No good deed goes unpunished, huh? Of course, I confronted him and suggested that we all three meet to sort things out (I like to confront things head on, to clear the air) which, of course, he refused to do. I think you get the picture… (he was trying to separate me from my friend, while trying to make me feel bad and himself better)

One night, I was dressed in black linen slacks and a white linen designer halter top that wrapped around my waist. I was tan and felt wonderful. Even by my own high standards, I felt like I looked fab. He looked me up and down, then said, “What is that you have on? I have never seen anything like that. Why does it wrap and tie like that?”

I was determined to have a good time… so…

That night we went to an upscale restaurant of my choice (we had done burger, pizza, chinese food ad nauseam). The atmosphere and food were excellent. His comment. “They sure serve small portions. I am still hungry.” He had no ability to appreciate a refined ambiance, or to make an evening elegant.

He was always about himself. He sucked the glow out of me and everything we did.. He complained, whined and criticized most everything and everyone. When we would do things, he liked, I enjoyed them, but when we did things, I liked, he would whine and complain. Being a writer and screenwriter, I encouraged interest and appreciation in seeing all kinds of movies… more sophisticated than his usual fare. I enriched his life, while he was sucking the life out of me.

This man and I were from totally different worlds. He had never been out with a woman who wore designer clothing. He didn’t appreciate, who I was, or what I was about. He wanted who I am, but had no idea how to care for and feed a woman like me. He did not have the background, or experience to appreciate, or to understand me. So, he put me and everything about me down. His insecurity triggered his criticism and served to make me feel unappreciated and not seen.

There was a two week period where I ‘thought’ we might be ‘something’, but I soon became more and more uncomfortable around him, and realized that he and I had no business being together. Here I was, ‘dating’ a man, I had no interest in, in the first place, and his behaviors and words were making me feel bad (stupid, I know, and one reason, I am sharing this). 

He would never be up to my standards, while he was trying to take me down to his… a place, I felt uncomfortable and don’t belong.

I also realized that he was ‘copying’ even ‘mirroring’ me. He would state something, I had said, claiming it as his own, as if he was trying to be me. He was even envious of my skin tone…(he has a crush on Selma Hayek)  I tan easily and he is pink and freckly. Except, when he gets a spray tan, then he is ‘some’ color of orange. (Thinking back, I am repulsed that I even knew this man. Yet, at the time, I kept interacting like a fool.)

Then I got the picture! He wanted to be me. He even wanted my skin tone. He wanted under my skin and to be in my skin. He was envious of everything about me. 

He was passive/aggressive. There are all kinds and ways of abuse and this is one…an insidious one.

He was sucking off my energy every chance he got. He felt insecure about himself and I could tell he enjoyed it when I felt off base. Because when I was, he felt better about himself.  And for ‘some’ reason, I was allowing it.

I even became embarrassed to be with him, but being a kind person and self-reflective, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Also, as I stated, I was in a lull and passing time. 

This man was uninteresting to me in all ways and this was one reason that he slipped under ‘my jerk alert radar’. I was not paying close enough attention to my feelings when I was around him, because I was using interacting with him as a diversion.

I wrote down why I liked him and why I didn’t. There were, maybe, two things I liked and fifty that I didn’t. Pretty much says it all!

But most of all, I didn’t like the way I felt around him. I began not being myself around him, to make him feel better, diminishing myself, and to continually explain and endure him continually asking, ‘why’, and his snide remarks putting me down and general negativity began to wear on my self-esteem. The man was a total energy suck and I was was his place to feed.

We went our separate ways, but…

Through time, this man would try to re-enter my life (like gum stuck to my shoe) and occasionally when I was in a lull, I would interact with him. (I know, stupid!)

Five years later, he contacted me to ask that I stage a house that he had remodeled and had up for sale, for my monetary compensation, but he never paid me. He used me. (Remember, he put me down for my decorating style, but now, wanted my services.) During this time frame, I gave him a script that I had written, that had done well in awards and was at several prodcos and studios under consideration. He told me that he didn’t like to read, so probably wouldn’t read it. (Remember nothing about me was worthy according to him).

I met a real man that I fell in love with and got engaged and didn’t interact with this man any longer. Got him out of my life… I thought.  But he continued contacting me. I told him that I was not interested, but when I wouldn’t respond, he verbally attacked me… calling me old and wrinkly.

About three years later, he begged me to have lunch with him and like a fool, I felt sorry for him and did. BIG MISTAKE! My lack of responsibility was, that if, I was bored, or there was a lull in my life, I would interact with this sucker. I became a sucker for him to lick, take from, suck on and insidiously abuse. He craved my energy.  He even told me that he did. I needed him like I need a hole in my head.

I liked almost nothing about him.  One night at my house, he was drinking wine like it was water, and he blurted out that he always loved me, would always love me and that he always knew that we would get back together. He had gained a ton of weight, was almost 300 pounds. His face was fat and his body swollen as if filled up with air. I felt disgusted watching him drink as he inventoried my frig. I said jokingly to change the subject, “You will need to replace all that wine you drank.”

He wrote me a lengthy and pathetic email stating how much he cared for me (yes, I have it in my file) and inquiring, if I was seeing anyone else. Was the man I was engaged to out of my life, etc? All which was none of his business.(I was still angry at him for using my time and never paying me, regarding the decorating and when I inquired. He told me he didn’t have any money.)  He wrote in his whiny email that my remark, that he replace the wine ‘made him feel cheap,’ like I didn’t care enough for him to let me drink some wine. (Are you hearing this whiny BS?)

Good grief was all I thought. I told him that I had no interest in him, but friendship and that the wine remark was an off the cuff remark because he was drinking so much and so fast. Then I ended all communication…

But he continually emailed and called me. I would look out my window and see his car in front of my house. (The same car, he drove when I first met him….it had been years and he was still in the same place.) He put sweet cards at my door… and called emailed and texted over and over.

Finally, I answered and told him to leave me alone, but as we talked, I felt sorry for him and he convinced me that we could have some fun, I was in a lull in my life, so…(Don’t even say it! I know! STUPID!)

We hung out a few more times… and I don’t know why because I hated being around him. And every time, I was around him. I was bored and began to feel down. He stole something off my neighbor’s house. He thought it was funny. I thought it was appalling.

He began asking me all sorts of questions about my writing, like if the script that I gave him to read was ‘copyrighted’. All of a sudden, he was overly interested in my writing. He told me he had written a story, since we had last seen each other. I found this unbelievable, since, he told me that he didn’t like to read. He wanted me to put him on my website. He was sucking, sucking, sucking… 

So, after making fun of me for writing, now he’s written a book, and guess what? The leads and storyline are similar to the script that I gave him. He is also claiming to be ‘an inspirational writer’, after putting me down for my inspirational/spiritual writing, which I have done for over 20 years.

I finally really got it! And I got this man out of my life for good, but, in order, to do it, I had to be cruel. He kept whining that we belong together. That we have magic. That he only feels at home with me. He compared us to the movie, THE NOTEBOOK. Listening to him, was making me sick.

And I could not get rid of him. He would email me. I blocked him, then he would text me that he wanted to start over. I asked, ‘start what’ over? We were never anything.

He is a chameleon. He was dating a woman who remodeled houses, so, in that time frame, this is what he did. He smoozes up to women and they will ‘think’ he is a nice man, until they realize, he is an energy sucker… a USER…He asks ‘why and ‘how’ all the time. Why? Why? Why do you do this? How do you do that?

Oh and the ‘pilot thing’, he has never flown for a large airline and in all his years flying, he isn’t a Captain. He is a co-pilot and flies cargo. I have friends who are pilots and I have dated airline Captains and an Air Force Pilot, and not a one ‘goes on about it’ like this man. I have been around pilots all my life. My Father had a plane and  was a pilot and also my ex-husband and neither one went on about it, like this ‘fly boy’ who just has to be up in the air…

This man tries to give an image of being this ‘dashing airline pilot’. HAHA! No way! He claims to have been places, but he has no photos or memorabilia. He is on layovers flying freight, not any real traveling. This man claimed, for example, to have been in Saudi Arabia.. I asked him what he did while he was there… he said, “I stayed in my hotel room.” Get the picture?

He told me during the time that I was engaged that he was getting married to an attorney and moving to Florida… but guess what? The truth is, she was a legal assistant, cheating on him and dumped him for another man. This man lies, cons and spins as bad as Obama does… and oh yeah, he was for Obama!

He now lives in a crummy, filthy apartment, full of what is now, ‘beat up’,(he takes care of nothing) masculine (instead of granny) furniture that I selected, but was never paid for.

He hates his mother and sister (How do I know? He has told me on many occasions. He has even screamed it out at the top of his lungs). He sucks up to women who will feel sorry for and be kind to him. He is looking for a ‘Mama’, a woman to care for him that he can suck from. He is a gold-digger. He has never been married.

He is always the ‘poor
victim’… According to him, women cheat on him…Whine! Whine! Blah, blah blah! And I understand why. He is a complete con, bore and a whine baby. I have seen him throw tantrums like a two year old and he is close to fifty. So, get the picture?…

Energy suckers are insidious abusers… they may ‘appear’ mild-mannered, ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ and may even put on a front to the world that is in complete opposition of who they really are. They have ‘learned’ and practiced saying the ‘right things’ to get what they need. So, it can feel confusing. But, if you feel bad about yourself around someone and it seems a bit confusing…you may be with this type of an abuser…a passive/aggressive/energy sucker…

Energy suckers are emotionally stunted, kids who never grew up…they are vapid, empty, needy and insecure and will suck you dry, to try and fill their void with all you have as their nourishment, if you allow them to.

Insecure people are threatened and jealous of confidence, happiness, inner peace and things that they know not of, or things that they want to claim as their own. Many like this man, will steal ideas, thoughts, and even identities… and may commit plagiarism and worse. I have tried to confront him, concerning ‘his book’, but now he is avoiding me. He is now living the persona of a ‘writer’with a hype and con award ‘nomination’ that he paid a fee for, in order, to put a sticker on his ‘self-published’ e-book. 

So, the purposes and moral of this tale….

We all feel insecure, at times, and to have the self-awareness of why you are feeling a certain way is the key to growth and healthy relationships.

And when there is a lull in your life, it’s better to let there be a lull, than to fill it with an energy sucker because each time, they will suck more. You are only a place for them to feed. Each time, this man entered my life, he took more….I allowed him in, only because I was in a lull and bored, otherwise, I would never be around such a man.

Your relationship with yourself is the most important one. Listen to your gut and how you feel, don’t negate it, even if you are in a lull.

Had I listened to my gut, I would never have gone out, more than once, with this passive/aggressive/energy/sucker…

Being kind, or bored is not the reason to interact with someone, when your gut screams otherwise…

That which is attracted to you, will try to define you… so guard yourself well…

Have you ever had experiences such as this…?

How a person eats can tell you much…

???????????????????????????????Do they have manners and know the appropriate etiquette? Do they shovel the food in like they haven’t eaten in days?  Do they chew with their mouth open? Do they serve themselves first, begin eating and not wait for you?

Are they overly picky?  Are they sloppy? Do they savor each bite and enjoy? Or do they shove the food in barely tasting it?…

Ever had a man order before the woman? I had this happen once and I left the table not to return…

There is a time to eat mannerly and a time to pick it up with fingers… do they know the difference?

There are correlations between how a person eats and how they do other things in their life such as making love. Eating habits and manners reflect not only up bringing, class, education, self-awareness, awareness of others and HA!…whether you can take someone to a black tie dinner.

Many times, eating precedes sex.. and is a way to seduce and create romance… but not with a person who has bad eating manners…or a person who stuffs themselves then lays on the sofa in a coma.

I dated a man once and eating with him was a painful experience. He would shovel the food in quickly. And rip it a part, as in onion rings, so he could shovel it in faster… He would touch my food. He had no idea how to serve. He would nod his head and grunt, make noises as in ‘good food’. He was more interested in how much he was getting into his mouth than the quality of it… which is the opposite of me.  Meal time wasn’t a time to communicate, it was to eat. He wanted to get his food into his mouth and fast, so he could get some more. When I think back, he was a poor communicator and he was unsophisticated and inexperienced in his selections of food and restaurants…just plain all around boring…

Watching him eat turned me off so much that I would look away and was even embarrassed to be in a restaurant with him. I was invited to a party during the time I knew him, and chose not to go, if I was to go with him. Of course, I quickly stopped seeing this man as his eating habits reflected in other areas in his life. He was disgusting. My main memory of him is the vision of him eating and it repulses me…and I avoid the restaurants where the memories of this slob pop into my head.

In my worthy relationships, eating is fun, sensuous, a time to be together, cook together, wine and dine together… to create wonderful memories…I enjoy a man who knows how to wine and dine and I love to cook for the ‘right’ man…and enjoy having him cook for me.

Food, eating and its preparation can be fun, sensual and sexy….Manners or not while eating reveal much. Do you agree?

What have your experiences been in this area?

Do You know Truth When You Hear It?

 ???????????????????????????????Leviathan is a three-headed devil deriving from the ocean and rules over twisting the meanings of words, so that nothing can be clearly understood in order to create fog and confusion in the world.

 Do you know truth when you hear it? With all the spin going on in our world today, it is making it more and more difficult to discern the truth. Twisting and spinning in the media, changing meaning, slanting outcomes, not reporting what actually occurs, but instead reporting what furthers ‘their’ agenda, seems to be the action of most in today’s world. It hits us from all sides, the TV, computer, radio and the Internet. Daily, we are bombarded with the fog of continual spin.

Obama and his administration are even trying to tell us how to speak, ‘changing’ the meaning of words, as in, what means what… as he tries to ‘change’ how we refer to, for example: ‘terrorists’.  Who are the ‘terrorists’? Obama and his administration are trying to rename patriots as ‘terrorists’ … Anyone that doesn’t buy, or is against the Obama spin is deemed a ‘terrorist’, instead of the ‘real terrorists’ being deemed as such. Obama and his administration are proving by actions and words to be the real terrorists.

 

We are being told not to refer to things as they really are and to not hear and see what we really see hear, or feel. We’re to believe what ‘they’ tell us to believe, instead of, what we know to be true. Just forget what’s true and believe ‘them’ instead. But they can tell you anything, and until you believe it, it’s not true.

Obama used the word ‘hope’ when he campaigned to get where he is. Hope?! Obama is taking away hope and in its place he is putting control over every aspect of your life.
It’s like a playboy trying to seduce his prey. He will compliment and tell her any and everything to get her, even “I love you.”
But once seduced by his spin, she is screwed, and he is on his way. That’s what is being done to America. We are being seduced and spinned. So, we can be screwed.Bill Clinton

 

Speaking of playboys…Clinton for example: Remember the Monica Lewinsky scandal? And Clinton pointing his finger at us through the TV screen as he said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” When obviously, he did. And most all of us knew that he did and knew that he was lying. But lied, he did, and he lied as easily as he opened his mouth. Then impeachment hearings were started and that’s when Clinton stated. “It depends on what the word ‘is’ means?” A Leviathan master at work.

Now, Clinton is caught up in another scandal. That he told a man to step out of a political race to let another win in order to suit ‘their’ agenda. Clinton, of course, ‘denies’ doing this. And others deny it to protect themselves from the light of the truth. Liars always deny. How can anyone ever believe Clinton? He has  proven to be a blatant liar. Yet, he is still supporting candidates and blabbing spin in the media. It’s Leviathan at its finest.

 Look at Obama and Pelosi… they contradict themselves even in the same speech. Truth seems not to matter to these people and they must think that the masses can’t see through their lies, Leviathan spin, and self-serving agenda.

 

Anyone with a brain knows that we can’t give better healthcare to everyone at a lesser cost. It’s impossible. It’s a lie. It’s Leviathan. It’s twisted logic. It’s twisting words to lead astray. This bill is to enslave the people to the government and it is of pure evil.

Oh, it’s a lovely idea and hooks fools into ‘believing’  that’s it possible, but it can’t be done and it won’t be done. It’s only a ruse to take more of your rights and freedoms away and to give more control to the government.

Anyone with a brain knows that you don’t pass bills and sign them without reading them. Anyone with a brain knows that you don’t continue going into more and more debt to balance the budget. Anyone with a brain knows that what works is a smaller government that serves the people not the other way around.

 Leviathan seems to be getting stronger and stronger. This word spin devil causes confusion, twisting, spinning words and meanings, so that little truth is heard, and confusion abounds. The more confusion, the easier it is for people to be led to distraction then destruction. Many politicians and much of the media are in collusion with the devil Leviathan. 


Especially this current administration is counting on the inability of the people to discern truth as their Leviathanian tactics get stronger and stronger. ‘They’ think that if they say it often enough, spin it enough that the people will believe it. 
This exact statement has come out of Leviathan-controlled Obama’s mouth.

Obama denies that he knew what was being preached at Rev. Wright’s church and those caught in the Leviathan spin spell, believe him.

 

There are liars everywhere these days. Truth is the rarity. And when the truth is spoken, or revealed the Leviathan spinners come out to try and make the truth appear the lie. It’s spin, twist, deny and confuse.

 

We must get back to the truth of the constitution. Our founding fathers created checks and balances to curtail a take-over by liars. The founding principles are sound and have made America and its people the finest and greatest in the world.
 

One of the most important issues is that we be governed by natural born citizens. There sure is alot of smoke about this issue, even more than around the Clinton-Lewinsky cover-up. Where there is smoke, there is fire. So, ummm… is Leviathan spinning or what?

We are being led astray by many in the international field that want to weaken America for ‘their’ benefit and Obama’s backers are leading the way to the biggest push ever to this goal.

 America is founded on Judeo-Christian principles and there is a reason for this and this is the reason that America is what it is. THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE BRAVE!

 

The Seven Deadly Sins are running rampant in our country and it is time to reveal them to the light of  TRUTH!  Instead of the Leviathan spin, that it’s okay to live this way.We’ve been led astray by the  evil Leviathan spin to believe that morals, standards, truth and honor don’t matter, when they are all that really does matter.

 

How do you discern the truth from all the lies? I say listen through the words, watch the actions and agenda, and how it feels to you deep down in your spirit.  If your spirit is true and you are true to your spirit, you will be able to discern theTRUTH!


And when someone shows you what a Leviathan they are BELIEVE THEM as in CLINTON!

Come back to your innate God given instinct of discernment.  We must hear through the evil of the Leviathan twist and spin to bring our country back to the truth.

‘They’ are afraid that we will see the truth. That is why they twist, churn and spin.

Wake up people! Hear through the spin and lies!  Hear the TRUTH!

Doing things that you really don’t want to do…

Beige bench 4And that make you feel bad even when, or after doing them… ever done it?

Have you ever continued to do something that you don’t want to do? And there is really no real reason that you are doing it, except that it is your choice? And it makes you feel bad, but you do it anyway.

Like hanging out with certain friends and after you do, you feel bad about yourself. Because they are not all that nice. They talk and behave in ways that have under currents of jealousy and dislike for who you are, what you believe and stand for, or they over indulge in alcohol, etc., but you try to overlook this and be tolerant, but it harms you by doing so. So, why do you do it?

Like eating too much and later your stomach hurts. You realize that you are gaining weight and don’t like the feeling, but you do it anyway again the next day.

Like continuing to date someone that you really don’t have fun with. They drag you down with their negativity and lack of fun. You are even glad when the date is over. But the next time, they call, you go out again with them and feel all the worse for doing so…

Like calling someone to talk just to be nice and out of duty and while on the phone you start to feel irritated and upset because you realize that you do not want to talk to this person ever.

Sure, we all have things in our life that we must do that we don’t like, or want to do and certain things that you force yourself to do, like working out and after you do, you feel better for doing so.

But when we don’t have to do things, or be around certain people and don’t feel better afterwards, in fact, feel worse, even terrible, why sometimes do we continue to do them?

Why do we continue to do things and be around people that are unpleasant and only give us bad results? Any ideas?

Conservative Class… Liberal Crass…

59bday6From my experiences, I ask why are Liberal/Progressive women so full of bitterness, hate, jealousy, and animosity..?

They may ‘use’ the word ‘love’ alot, but it doesn’t seem that they even know what the word means. They call others names such as hater, racist, and sexist when they are usually the ones doing the hating. I have been called, fat, old, a skinny, white bitch, among other names, etc. by Liberal/Progressive women…

Liberal/Progressive women seem to not be able to stand a Conservative, attractive, physically, emotionally fit and morally sound woman. Why are Liberal/Progressive women so threatened by Conservative women?…

They go on the immediate attack as they do with Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, etc… It’s even deemed okay for them to attack Palin’s children, but if one word is said against Obama’s children, they go wild. Not that I think we should be bad mouthing, or attacking anyone’s children, or children in general… but there is such a double standard….

Why do you think Liberal/Progressive women are so unhappy, bitter and out to ‘get’ Conservative women? It’s as if they can’t stand these women, especially in the media…

Compare the look on Hillary Clinton’s face to say Michelle Bachman’s… compare the look on the news ladies on Fox compared to say Katie Couric… compare the Liberal/Progressive women in Obama’s cabinet to Conservative women…need I say more…?!?

Why are Liberal women so threatened by Conservative class… I mean women?

Let’s talk about exceptional women…

Glorious Women! That we can all look up to as an example of how to live, express and manage our lives…

Elizabeth Edwards… what a class act under such drama, illness, betrayal and trauma…

I think of Maria Shriver, she has handled recent scandal with such grace…

Sandra Bullock… good actress, nice person and she handled humilation and scandal just after winning an Oscar, like a champion first-class woman…

Meryl Streep.. an incredible actress with wisdom, class and grace..

Michelle Bachmann … accomplished in many areas, business, family and political. She is wise, and determined…

Helen Mirren… a fabulous actress, refined, elegant and charming….

Betty Ford… first lady, woman’s advocate, helped many deal with addictions and her honesty was legend…wife and mother…

Rest in peace lovely, strong, exceptional woman…

Let’s explode about great, classy, resilient, talented, exceptional women…

Who else comes to mind and why?…

Women! Have you ever sold out?…

I was having lunch awhile back with a girlfriend and after we ate we joined two of her ‘friends’ (acquaintances) at another table for dessert. One lady was so obsessed about her weight that she would not eat the gram cracker crust on the key lime pie that we all shared, which balanced out to two bites a piece. And this woman was as thin as thin could be… too thin… But she sure guzzled the wine…not worried about the empty calories there…Okay! …

So … the topic is selling out… The other woman who had a dry wit started talking about sex, that she only ever has it, so her husband will continue paying her bills. She went on about how the more she has sex with her husband, the more she can spend, and he won’t complain. The overly thin woman concurred as they shared ‘their sex for goods’ trials and exploits with bitterness and an underlying sadness in their voices…
 
As I chuckled with the group, internally, I felt sick and sorry for these women. Were they ‘joking’, blowing off steam, or what? Umm… but usually, what you joke about is what is true, what you are hiding, or what is bothering you…

My friend and I locked eyes and knowingly smiled at one another … we didn’t fit with these women .. but for some reason, my friend endured it… I was ready to exit…

To break it up, I excused myself to the ladies’ room. When I stood up, the overly thin woman, looked me up and down… as I chuckled internally… ummm…trying to intimidate me, jealous much, or what? It was too immature and stupid for words…

I felt so out of their loop… I can’t imagine feeling, or joking like these women were doing… the more that they carried on about it, as they laughed about their husbands and their deeds of doing … “Oh baby, baby! Baby you’re so good! Oh Baby!” … well, I won’t get too graphic…

If I ever felt like that, where  I needed to fake it, in that manner, I got out of the relationship fast…Lies built on lies, built on lies, just produces more lies. I felt so sorry for these particular ladies who lunch, with their overly thin bodies, wine glasses in hand, designer dudes and purses.

Driving away, I felt so glad to be me… I have never settled, or used a man, or anyone for that matter for money, or goods. I have never sold myself on any level. I respect myself and others too much to do so. And I eat the crust on my desserts… in fact… YUM!

I am free to be me. I have gone hungry in my life. I have been broke. I have been scared to death being alone. I have gotten out of, and ended marriages, and relationships that were unhealthy for my soul, that were untrue on some level, and that tried to diminish my spirit. But in being always so true to myself,  I have been hurt to my core, and taken down to my knees, but I got up again and always felt proud of me. And very glad to be out and away from the insidious situation.

How many women are selling out on some level? Maybe, not for goodies, but to keep the peace, for a place to live, because they are afraid, or too insecure to be alone, or they need the title of being married to give them an identity, etc.?
 
How many unhappily married women are there? And how many are envious of women with freedom … freedom in their spirit. Those who don’t need something ‘designer’ to define them, or some man to pay them, or give them their identity, or the over need to police every bite of food to be, and feel a certain weight, in order, to feel worthy, or the need to gossip, in order, to make themselves feel better than, or the need to look someone up and down like they were in a high school corridor, so unsure of themselves that they create cliques, rumors and bully.

Do you think that many women compromise themselves in some manner or form? Starving themselves to look what ‘they think’ makes them look good when they look gauntly awful. And having sex so that they can carry some over-priced designer purse? Just two examples…do you have more?…

Do you, can you see, or tell, if you are you selling out, or compromising yourself on some level?