Do all people have the ability to love?

???????????????????????????????And if someone can’t love, doesn’t know how, isn’t able, or capable… can you, should you try to love them? Love isn’t a mood, a pretty face, blond hair, a sports car, a bank account, or a rockin bod, etc… 

When you describe love as a ‘mood’, or anything else other than a deep sincere emotion then you are describing a superficial love. Love is a deep emotion… and some can’t feel real emotions at all, and some ‘fake’ their feelings for their gain.

Some profess love way too fast…
before there is actually any possibility that it could be felt…and many who do this, fall in and out of ‘love’ as if it were ‘luving’ the current fad. They fall in ‘luv’ with the way a woman looks, or her body and a woman falls in ‘luv’ with a man’s ‘appearance’ of ‘power.’ It’s insincere and only their mood, or attraction at the time. This kind of person can be dangerous to those with the real ability to love…they try to and can actually suck love out of a sincere loving person… and nothing about fast ‘luv’ is love. It’s actually predator-like and derives from lack, agenda and possibly even evil intent…

Too many people suppress or escape emotions… being emotionally real and honest is rare these days… but we are sentient beings and to deny who we are is to deny self and what we are put on earth for, which is too feel, express emotions and to experience. And some in the world can’t handle others’ emotions because they can’t handle their own. They are the walking dead… no sincere passion, no reality, can’t love, can’t sincerely express , or see truth because they are so false unto themselves and who they really are… so when the first blush of attraction is gone… so is their ‘luv’…

Of course, as a caring, loving human being some of us can love the unlovable, but it is wise to do so from a distance. In a romantic relationship, trying to love someone who can’t love you in return leads to nothing, but pain and despair.

Those people who have the ability to fake emotions and to not really feel them who knows why exactly?  Was it something that happened to them in childhood, or somewhere in their life, or were they born that way?

A man once told me that when he was younger that he would tell girls that he loved them. ” I love you.”, very powerful words. So needy girls would feel ‘loved’ for a bit and give him what he wanted…’sex with no attachment’ on his part. He chuckled while telling me this. He was a man who while handsome and charming had no ability to love. He didn’t feel loved, so he knew the intense power of the desire to feel so, and he used this power over others to control them. He was damaged and he damaged others by telling them what they needed and wanted to hear to get what he wanted. He had no love for anyone including himself. He was afraid of love and actually afraid of women, so he kept them at arm’s length and manipulated and used them.

Some talk of ‘forever’ when it is premature and superficial. The words, ‘forever’, ‘love’, and ‘soulmate’ … can be meaningful only when used in sincerity and too many these days use them flippantly and to manipulate for their own feelings of power and control.

If Tom Hanks or Cruise can say it in some ‘stupid’ (while entertaining) romantic comedy… any guy with half a brain can do the same. The “You complete me.” line that Cruise ‘acted’… how many times has that been used? This line was ‘scripted’ for affect, it didn’t come from the heart in a moment of depth and passion in real life.

I have been told by many men that I am the kind of woman that they want to have on their arm. Now, what does that mean ‘exactly’? It means that it makes them feel good to have what they ‘consider’ a ‘catch’ on their arm. It has nothing to do with me, or my well-being, or caring about ‘me’. It’s about them and what ‘they feel like’, or ‘want and need’ to feel like for their weak egos. Men like this are dangerous for women who can love… as they use and exploit for their needs. Men like this are selfish, self-serving and ego driven…

A man once told me that men go for the best, most attractive girl that they ‘think’ they can attain.. or they ‘think’ they ‘may’ have a chance with, a chance of ‘scoring’ with on some level… But most men quickly back off when thwarted in their attempt while after a woman… again it’s that fragile male ego.  But real, sincere, enduring love can’t be thwarted. You hear the stories of the man who wouldn’t give up until the woman said yes. I am not talking anything creepy here, like stalking. I am talking strong pursuit, when a man really has the ability to love … Think of the character depicted in the movie THE NOTEBOOK.. that movie depicted an example of a man who could love, felt it deeply and acted on it.

Strong, worthy men will go after what they desire…and those with love in their heart… will stay on that path and not be sidetracked by some ‘honey’ of a distraction to feed their ego.

Some women use flattery and sexy ways to lure a man in, when all they want to do is to use him. Both sexes do this to one another… the ones who can’t love and who can only ‘fake it’…as in ‘prostituted’… they usually can’t love and don’t like sex… so they ‘fake’ it… there are more ‘prostitute’ types around than many realize in both sexes. They are the damaged ones and they are out to damage others…

Do you think many people have the ability to really love another? Most all of us desire and want love. So, why is it that it seems and appears that so many have no idea what it is?

Children learn what love is from their parents. I believe this to be gospel and it derives from the parents love and commitment to each another This is a child’s first example. When some people only have children for themselves and their selfish needs, how can a child feel loved, or even learn what love is? They can’t. And this is manifested out into our world with every action and choice. Look at what is being manifested into our world today… overly overt sexuality that has nothing to do with love, people having children with no commitment to them, or to one another.

Ladies! No man will love you, or treat you better than you love or treat yourself.
And sex is not love… in its finest, it is one ‘expression of love in the physical form’ and it can produce life…the greatest gift of love that there is. So, when you diminish sex … love becomes diminished in you…

To be able to love is a great blessing… to be able to feel love, to give love and to be loved in return is the greatest gift one can possess. The ability to love comes from within and is built on respect, commitment and trust of self then to others and this comes from parenting the child along with their internal ‘God-given’ makeup. And if you weren’t parented well, you can learn to re-parent yourself. Treat yourself as the precious person you are… and act accordingly…

You can’t have love without commitment… and those who really love not only know this, but desire it…

“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim Keller

Remember it’s in his love that Christ gave his life for you… and he turned away from those he could not touch…

Do you know what love is and feels like? Can you love? Do you love? Are you loved? Have you ever felt love, deeply, sincerely and truly? Do all people have the ability to love, or do only a few have that capacity?

7 thoughts on “Do all people have the ability to love?”

  1. One of the best articles I have read about love and loving. Ayn, you get it one of the few who do. WOW!

  2. Not everyone has the ability to love.
    Eg. People who totally hate their-selves have no ability to love others.
    Lets relate this to Islam
    They actually hate themselves and what they practice, in order to just end it all they prefer to end their lives by taking innocent people along with them, consoling themselves that there is heaven filled with virgins for them.

  3. I’ve been saying it so long it’s almost an axiom already: “Love equals commitment, and all else is poetry.” Plug that word into your article, and see if it doesn’t explain a great many things.

  4. Well said! I’ve found what’s inside amplifies what’s outside! Conversely, outside appearance can mask what’s inside (at least for a while)….

  5. Ayn what you write is great. You get the male, female relationship. The man in your life is very blessed. I hope he deserves a treasure as yourself. God bless you incredible lady.h

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