Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,

And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.

Will pull out my chair and hold my hand.

Massage my feet and help me stand,

Oh, send a king to make me queen

A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other.

And will relish visits with my mother.

A MAN’S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course and loves to send me fishing and drinking. And if this doesn’t rhyme, I don’t give a shit.