Years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who asked. “You don’t look at me when I am naked, do you find my body attractive?”

My reply. “I didn’t realize that I didn’t.” As I pondered, since, I hadn’t even thought about it, until he asked, ‘But now, that I think about it, I find your body not so attractive.’ I realized that I was probably unconsiously averting my eyes because physically he wasn’t attractive to me.

My being with this man wasn’t because of his looks and certainly wasn’t his body. We had fun ‘as a couple’. But after he asked me this question along with displaying other insecurities. Then when I did look at his nude body in the light of day with no sexual passion, as he exited the room, I felt a kind of repulsion. Mostly, I felt repulsion at his insecurity. The way that he carried himself was insecure. His walk was insecure. His question was insecure. It wasn’t his body. Because for most women, the way a man treats her, his character, his intelligence, his kindness and thoughtfulness, his humor, his confidence, among other things are what makes him attractive or not….

I have been with movie star handsome men and by the end of the evening… because of their behavior, I felt I was with a gargoyle.
I have been with not so attractive men and they were so fun, kind and attentive… that they became more attractive…So, physical appearance isn’t everything… sexy and sensual is innate… and in a person’s being or it isn’t…

Sooo.. as I ponder this with all of you…Just before, during and after sex, we can be in varying degrees of undress, or completely nude…depends on the mood…nightgown, tee shirt, robe, camisole…. right? Sometimes, I can be completely nude, tan and worked out and feel like a goddess, a woman amongst women. At other times, after eating, or just feeling a bit off… I’d rather be in ‘varying’ degrees of dress… but either way, I am still me, like me and feel good in my body.

Nude or covered a sexy person is a sexy, sensual person.

Sometimes, partial coverage is desirable and sexy…even more sensual and sexy then complete nudity…

I have never asked a man, why don’t you look at my body… because men always look, right? Men like to look… it’s what a man does… look…

But sure at times… we all feel insecure walking to the bathroom nude, as Meryl Streep did in the movie, ‘It’s Complicated’? But Alec Baldwin as big and out of shape as he was, stripped and pranced about… that’s how most men are… those I have known… but not the one I wrote about in the beginning of this…  that lack of confidence, whiny, not sexy man…

We all feel more attractive at one time or another. But to be close enough to have sex and to feel so insecure as this man did…was such a turn off…

Anyway, it’s the woman’s ‘right’ to ask… Do I look like I’ve gained weight? Are my hips getting big?, etc….” And the man’s place to comfort and compliment…

When a man acts like a woman, whiny and whimpering… ‘do you like my body.’ To me, it’s a real turn off… A REAL TURN OFF!

But if he says.. “Hey, look at me, I’ve lost a few and been working out”… now that’s fine… or if he should say…”I’m not looking so good, think I’ll lose some weight”… that’s fine also… it shows he is self-aware not a whine boy.

The way something is expressed verbally shows an innate confidence or not…

I like a man to be a man… Preferably one that takes care of his body to some extent and feels good in it…confidence is sexy…don’t you agree?

So, do you like to strut your stuff…? Make love in the nude with the lights on? Or in the dark under the covers, or a bit of everything depending on your mood…?

Let’s talk…