Tag Archives: confidence

Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Uncategorized, Women In Real Life

Damaged, disordered, wounded people can damage and cause you to become so…

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???????????????????????????????Ever heard the saying you become like who you marry?

Those we associate with often change us. If we are around negative people, we will become more negative. If we are around happy positive people we will become more positive.  Confident people instill confidence in others.

Ever notice how around certain people you feel happy and uplifted and around others you feel down and like the energy has been sucked out of you?  You feel that way because it has been. I have noticed that I  even can  begin to feel nervous around some people. When I feel negative emotions coming at me, I have learned to become aware, to limit exposure and  even  to exit completely.  Listen to your gut and how you feel… don’t negate or discard your gut instincts. They are a gift from God for your protection.

If and when you point out to others how you feel around them and if they can’t look at themselves, apologize for dumping onto you, then  you need to cut them loose from your life … until they can.

Being emotionally thrown up  on by someone for things that have nothing to do with you is damaging to self… unless, you set and have clear boundaries. 

I am not saying let friends down when they are in need. We all have needs at time and need extra caring but only the strong of heart are the ones capable to give this to you. The wounded, damaged and disordered will suck your energy even when you are in need  and will most likely make you feel worse whether you realize it in that moment or not. These are people to limit your association with. They are energy vampires.

Misery loves company and subconsciously  that is their agenda, to take you down to their level.  I have had people tell me that they love me and love to be around me because ‘I’ make ‘them’ feel good and calm them, then when I need their energy and help they suck the life out of me. These are the people I have learned to limit my exposure to.

Have you ever been around someone that never if rarely smiles or someone that has a negative comment for every occasion? I have and tried to lift these people up for awhile, until their damaged, disordered, wounded soul began to affect me. Then I ended my association with them to protect myself.  All I  can do then is to pray for them but I limit even cut off our energies connecting.

We can all help one another, at times, but true healing begins with self.

Energy suckers of the world are damaged people and until they deal with their issues, they will not be able to give to another, instead, they will drain those around them.

You become more like those you associate with. If you associate with man haters, you will find yourself bashing men. If you associate with women haters, you will find yourself bashing women. If you think it’s okay to do drugs then those are the people you will associate with. If you workout and are physically fit, you will prefer being around those of like  body and mind.

Everyone in this world has been hurt, damaged, wounded, etc. It’s the energy of the strong and brave that works on healing self instead of going through life projecting, and throwing up their neediness on others. 

It’s your individual duty to set your boundaries.  Like kind attracts like kind… and opposites attract. Think of how profound these truisms are and on so many levels.

annface48“Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep.” Clive Barker

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Self-help

How many of these traits do you possess?

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???????????????????????????????Integrity

The true definition of integrity comes from the Latin word integritas, which means “whole” or “intact.” It encumbers all the traits that make a truly “good” person, such as honesty, being incorruptible, straight and morally upright. A person with integrity won’t lie. They will keep their word and won’t screw you over. They won’t go behind your back, badmouth you, go after another person’s partner or cheat on you. they adhere to a code of ethics that may make them predictable, but safe to the heart and one’s sanity. No unpleasant surprises come from someone with a high sense of integrity. They follow a code of ethics that tends to be, as the word suggests, incorruptible, and they adhere to principles of common decency.

Courageousness

Who wants to be with a coward? Someone who can’t and won’t stand up for their own beliefs will definitely not stand up for you or anyone else. Courageousness may not seem like such a big deal to some, but upon examining history, one notices that cowards are not too different from criminals. Why? Because most atrocious crimes to mankind would not have succeeded had it not been for the silent bystanders and those who looked the other way. No courage usually also means no principles, which will make you expendable for the simple reason that a coward will only do the least effort required and will tug tail and run when true work is required.

Sense of Humor

There will be good times, bad times, hard times and easy times. And everything is easier if one keeps a sense of humor, or at least surrounds oneself with those who have one. There is a reason that poll after poll shows that most people desire a sense of humor in their partners.

 Intelligence, Education and Common Sense

Plenty of people have high IQs and no common sense. Common sense, social intelligence and “street smarts” are pretty much the same. Being able to solve the most difficult mathematical problems won’t make anyone a great partner or friend, if they cannot hold a conversation, relate to other people and have zero social skills. Social skills or relating to others are abilities required to use common sense, which dictates what or what not to do or say in every day settings.

Emotionally Open

If you have ever tried to be friends or have a relationship with someone who has the emotional depth of a rock, you’ll know what I mean. How would someone who has a hard time feeling, or showing feelings, relate to you? There is a difference between someone who is so closed off that they just look at you blankly, or worse, scold you, or put you down when you’re feeling sad or miserable, and then there are those who break down as soon as someone looks at them the wrong way. Being able to share one’s heart doesn’t mean that one has to be a weakling or whiner. Someone who can’t feel is usually damaged goods, and lack of depth in emotional matters usually translates into lack of depth in other matters.

Kindness

Kindness is like integrity. A person who possesses kindness will usually keep your heart safe and your best interests in mind. Their willingness to help others also translates into someone who knows how to put another’s needs ahead of their own when needed. A kind person carries a light, and that light tends to attract other “good” people too.

Self-Confidence

Everyone is low on confidence now and then. But stay clear of those with literally no self-esteem. A person without self-confidence/self-esteem spells disaster, because they will fail on numerous other “must-haves.” They are usually driven by self-preservation, and will do almost anything to overcome their feelings of inadequacy. This can make them psychotic and distrusting, and possibly even make them into stalkers. Which, in return, almost always ensures dishonesty, a closed heart/inability to truly feel and experience love and joy, a lack of integrity and definitely no courage. They’re usually a bucket with a huge hole in the bottom. No matter how much love and care one will pour into them, it will never be enough to make them feel safe, loved or good enough. It’s impossible to love and care for someone who doesn’t love and care for themselves.

Discipline

Best to avoid those who have absolutely no discipline. It requires discipline to succeed in life. Anyone who throws in the towel at the first sign of difficulty or opposition will not make a great long-term companion. This is because discipline translates into stamina, i.e. staying power. A person who can’t stick with anything for a longer period of time because it’s uncomfortable, or means work, is someone who is either not confident or is lazy. If they can’t stick with their own goals, they won’t stick with you either.

Generosity

Those who constantly complain about the money they don’t have, especially while spending it on things that don’t serve them, are not only annoying, but are also no fun to have around. The opposite of generous is selfish, and who wants to be with a selfish person? Being miserly also tends to show individuals who are very preoccupied with material, i.e. superficial things. Combine that with the constant complaint about not having enough, and you’ll get a good picture of how life with someone who can’t be generous looks like.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the fine middle ground of truly knowing your strengths and weaknesses without being either completely weak and self-loathing, or arrogant and narcissistic. Self-awareness allows us to know when we are way off our rocker. It allows us to see when we are wrong/screwed up and need to possibly adjust or change certain behaviors and patterns. Self-awareness allows us to look in the mirror and see who we really are; not who we think, or hope we are. People without self-awareness cannot grow, because they will never learn from past mistakes. They are literally blind and lost souls, stumbling after what looks and sounds the most appealing. Without self-awareness there is no truth, just illusion; and a perpetual cycle of trying to find what they think will make them happy.

If you don’t know who you are, you sure as hell won’t know what makes you happy. 

Okay! Do you possess most of these, all of these, or very few?