If she likes chocolate, is it dark, milk, or white? And what brand, does it matter, or not? What wine does she prefer? Pinot, Merlot, Sauvignon Blanc or…. and what does she prefer to drink with what?
What kind of flowers? What color and what type are her favorite? What brand of shoes does she love, and which designer makes her swoon when she wants to splurge on a bag or an outfit?
In jewelry, does she prefer yellow, or white gold, or perhaps platinum? Which gem stone is it… diamond, ruby, emerald, or sapphire,etc.? And what cut, cushion, pear, marquis or round? Does she like chunky jewelry or refined?
What colors does she prefer, in what applications and circumstances? She may love the color red, but not like it in certain things. What music does she like and when?
Does she like to sleep in long, romantic nightgowns, or pajamas and what mood makes her decide when to choose what?
Does she enjoy impressionism, cubism, or primitive, when it comes to art.. modern design, antique, or a mix of both?
Do you know your lady? Do you pay attention to her preferences? A wise, attentive and caring man will pay attention and know… only a fool wouldn’t. A selfish man is more concerned with his likes and dislikes and that the woman fits his needs. Men like this are not lovers, they are users and takers and will drain a woman instead of fill her up.
Ladies, wise up, if a man doesn’t pay attention … why not? Is it because he’s clueless, or is he not worth giving him your time and effort? If he doesn’t care enough to learn about you, why spend time and give your energy to him? Women are natural givers… and many allow themselves to become drained in so doing. A wise man will find ways to fill his woman up and he can’t do that, unless he knows what she likes and doesn’t like.
A lover seeks to please his beloved. A taker doesn’t care and will just do enough to get by…in order, to get what ‘he’ wants… be it sex, attention, or just the thrill of the pursuit. He’s about feeling good about himself more than pleasing another.
A caring observant man knows what his lady prefers and he strives to give and to make it happen just like she wants it…
Many years ago, a man in pursuit sent me roses all day long.. all red ones. He filled up my living room with them. I don’t care for red roses. I like every color but red. (I discarded them all before they died. I couldn’t stand looking at them.)
Another time, a man brought me one single rose, my favorite color… (I treasured and enjoyed it) He really cared about me, knew what I liked, and took pleasure in pleasing me.
One right rose means more than vases and vases of the wrong color. One man was thoughtful and caring.. the other about himself, his pursuit, and showing off…
If a man doesn’t take the time and effort to know a woman, he is not caring and thoughtful in a genuine way. Now, some men can be taught this awareness, but others not.. because some will only do enough to get by and not really care.
Nothing is more attractive than a caring, thoughtful, attentive and caring man.. and nothing is more unattractive than a man who is all about himself.
“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with
all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a
consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly
loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.
It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and
fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim
Keller
all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a
consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly
loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.
It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and
fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim
Keller
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Ayn, this is real truth. Men want their woman to have what she wants only abusive men, don’t.
You are absolutely correct in this article Ayn!
On one of my wife’s birthdays, I took her for a “Discovery Flight,” where she got to fly an airplane, one of her dreams. We went to a nice dinner, then I took her to the bull riding event that evening, front row seats. She loves anything to do with horses and rodeo. She said it was her best birthday celebration ever.
Security, affection, someone to listen, emotional attachment, money, support, compliments, spontinaety, physical contact, good foundation, love
I have a dream of taking you to the symphony and sharing some bubbly at intermission.