Dancing in relationship to commitment…

 In relationship, a man leads and a woman follows, just like partners in a dance… there must be a leader and a follower. That doesn’t mean that one is more important than the other… as they must both be there and participating for the dance/relationship to flow and to be a success. A relationship is a dance… and if the man isn’t a strong, consistent, competent, trustworthy, responsible, and an ethical leader, the whole thing can get off track, or won’t go anywhere and can even fall completely apart.

A woman must feel that she can lean and will be held solid and that there will be strong arms holding her. She needs to feel protected, attractive, desired, appreciated, feminine and cared for. If not, she won’t and can’t express, bloom, shine, allow vulnerability and glow and certainly can’t relax to come into the full expression of herself. And that is where and what a man’s place is, to create the space for the ‘feminine’, ‘his love’ to bloom and by doing so, he will have an enduring, happy relationship and home filled with love, peace and abundance and a soft place to fall and re-energize. A woman, the feminine, leads a man to his heart, back to his heart and to his soft emotional side of expression. Many men can only open up emotionally to the woman in their life. But some are too fearful, or shut down, cold, cut off, angry or were never taught, or had this basic genuine element of the feminine.

But as in the dance, in a relationship, if the man, lets the woman fall once, she will question her trust and if he lets her fall too many times, trust will be completely gone and the purpose of the dance/relationship will cease and might stop altogether. Its flow stops and instead becomes stressful, without confidence, conflicted, even angry, and it is impossible to continue and unbearable to observe.  
As in the dance, most often the eyes are on the feminine lines and expression as the male supports her. She can’t do it, ‘her magic’, without his strength and support and he can’t express his strength, his manhood without her softness, flexibility and trust.

The intertwining of the masculine and feminine in the dance is a beautiful thing to observe…it’s like watching love…as it is in a relationship. But a man must lead.. and the woman have trust enough to follow. And this trust is up to the man to instill and demonstrate by his words, actions, deeds and behaviors.

Some males are needy and lost, flitting from partner to partner, trying to ‘find’ the ‘perfect’ fit, instead of ‘being’ the perfect fit. They are emotionally lost, unsound and not true to anyone, even themselves.  They don’t have the core and purpose of the dance in them. They don’t know how to lead… aren’t man enough … so they flit from one female to another until the women recognize his inability and either turns away, or he makes sure he is gone, before she realizes that he can’t lead, isn’t a man, can’t be a solid, strong male. He is afraid for being seen for what he really is…so he deflects and side steps to avoid in all sorts of ways.
Sure a woman can dance alone, as can a man … but there is nothing like the male/female dancing together. If a woman needs to take the lead and become too masculine in her behavior the balance becomes distorted and ‘off’. If a man becomes too feminine and follows unsure, the balance becomes off. The flow is disrupted. It’s the balance of the male/female that is the beauty and the flow in the dance… the balance. Sometimes, the dance is fast, sometimes it is slow, but with true partners and a strong male lead it always has its rhythm and jive…rockn’roll, two-step, waltz, cha-cha, free style or ‘whatever’ it is, it works…as some partners develop their own style that works just for them.

As in a relationship, a man is the leader in a family. He guides with strength and nurturing. The lack of this leadership creates chaos in the family. Sure, a woman can head a family and ‘act’ the part of man. And a man can ‘act’ the part of a woman, but it is not as complete as when there is both a man and a woman displaying, doing and honoring their respective God-given natures for the children to observe.

In this world today, many men seem to have forgotten how to lead. They have forgotten what a male is in relation to the female. And women have allowed this to occur, as they are behaving like men… sexually and otherwise. Men don’t respect women who behave like men. And women don’t respect men who behave like women… It’s not in our nature, our DNA to do so… So, respect is gone and so is the ability to love…

It’s being diminished to sexual exploitation. It’s been lowered to taking, instead of giving, sharing and honoring. It is an empty, lost and vapid existence to those who do this. They may think it is exciting at first, but look at the faces and bodies of those who do this…it shows everywhere on them and in everyway. 

The dance falls apart, families are without leaders, children are lost, love is gone and no one is content, at peace, living in the security of love and happiness and it affects the whole society. The way a society respects the feminine defines its nature. Diminish, disrespect, or suppress the feminine and the society becomes harsh, violent and without morality or true honor. 

It’s up to the woman whose hand she takes.  An ’emotionally healthy’ woman will not pick a weak leader, or she will break the dance when she realizes his lack of male character. Or she, not trusting him, will try, or be forced to lead and in doing so, she will become frustrated, bitter, and resentful as  this is not in her natural flow.

A man may pick, but a woman chooses.

I say we need to come back to the natural dance of male/female. You can watch a couple in love, who have shared much and when they dance they flow… the man leads out of love and respect and the woman follows out of respect, trust and love…And any man who has had a woman look at him in love and admiration know the glory and glow that emanates from her to him.
It’s an energy from the heavens…

And commitment is key to this dance… A man takes a woman’s hand and leads her to the dance floor and it begins…with his hand on the small of her back to guide her…

The dance is the perfect display and example of the male/female balance.
That is why it is so pleasing to behold just as it is to observe people in love.. it is an expression of joy… the perfect balance of the male/female in action…


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14 thoughts on “Dancing in relationship to commitment…”

  1. A beautiful profound and true article beautifully written by a our of this world beautiful both inside and out woman with more wisdom in her little toe than most can ever dream of having.

  2. Oh Ayn… You make me reminisce about when men were men and women were women. We knew our roles and responsibilities and understood the symbiotic relationship required for success. I see these posts about telling girls that “Bossy” is good and pictures of “Girly boys” that the women swoon over. Then there are those Bleeding Heart Liberals that agree with Osama “Fundamentally Changing who were are”. I liked who we were. When businesses could choose who they would and would not serve without getting sued, students could have cookie fund raisers and children could walk to and from the park alone without the parents getting arrested. -sigh- Now I just wait for the war to start.

  3. A beautiful commentary. Ayn the man who is lucky enough to have you by his side is truly fortunate. I knew that about you even in highschool.

  4. I believe it’s a lack of understanding. There’s a great book called ” a Man of Velvet and a Man of Steel. Reference Christ Jesus, Women and children loved him and Men respected him. Because he was never taken he gave his life, He could have called 12 legions of Angels. But he didn’t.

  5. Ann, love love love the way you see things and express. Always so pure, always so true.

  6. Interesting analogy Ayn but you’re right. No leader, no follower, no teamwork! And if there’s no complementation, chaos follows!

  7. I agree with you wholeheartedly Ma’am. We must also agree that the woman should also possess those same qualities. That would truly be a match made in Heaven.

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