It’s about you, not him. You are the prize…

???????????????????????????????Women, what is valuable and worthy is that ‘you’ be your total authentic self, and that you speak and live ‘your’ truth… 

When you read ‘too many’ self-help, relationship, and dating books and try to be something that you are not, is when everyone gets confused and messed up. Sure, it ‘can’ bring awareness, but ‘too much’ of it can also assist you in losing who you ‘really’ are and trying to be who and what ‘someone’ tells you to be….and this is not being your authentic self… 

It’s imperative that ‘you’ learn to be and accept who ‘you are’ in all ‘your’ glory including your weaknesses and your strengths, your highs and your lows, to be the ‘you’ that ‘you’ were meant to be the integrity of yourself.

Did you ever occur to you that many who write these self-help and spiritually, inspirational informative thingys might be a mess in their own lives and emotions? No one has all the answers and what is right for one is not right for another. So, read with caution and self-awareness.

From what I am seeing there is a major and pervasive disconnect between the sexes and  even more than ever before. So with all this relationship help from these gurus… what has actually been made ‘better’?…

Simple truths… that never change and never will:

If a man wants to be with you, he will be.

If he doesn’t call, he isn’t interested. So, why be interested in him? And waste time thinking, or even talking about him… go on with your life. He’s not worthy of your time, or attention…

There are guys who are all about the chase. They get off on the adrenaline, the romance, the does-she-or-doesn’t-she like me?
Once they get ‘their’ answer (“She likes me!”), they move on. See, they were never really into ‘you’. They were into THEMSELVES. This kind of a man seeks acceptance and validation from women.They need to ‘know’ or ‘feel’ that they’ve still ‘got it’. Once the women give them the approval they crave, they move on.

Do not mistake a series of text messages, or emails for a relationship.They are text messages. Texting is cheap and you aren’t…Understand that you can send them to multiple recipients without any of them knowing about the other.

Relationships are built eye-to-eye and in person.

High standards may mean you’re alone longer. Use that time to love yourself, to treat yourself as you would want the most dashing and worthy man to treat you. Talk to yourself and treat yourself as you would a beloved child. ‘Better’ men will start to pick up on this. The ‘good’ guys want their lady to be treated well. Don’t waste your time with any man who doesn’t treat you as well as you do yourself.

If he treats you in anyway that makes you feel negated, uncomfortable, unhappy, or irritated, then most probably, he is not for you…unless, you are a fool. And if you feel this way in the beginning, think of what you will feel like as it progresses…

If his manners are bad, he’s addicted to anything, has bad grooming habits, or just doesn’t mesh into your life, etc. Then hey… how about walking away?!… Unless, of course, you like that kind of a thing…

Women tend to work too hard to try and make something work that isn’t, doesn’t and never will then they blame themselves when it doesn’t…

Don’t allow a man to define you. It’s not worth it and never will be…

Don’t let a man determine your value ever… you determine it yourself…

Stop wondering if he likes you and ask yourself, if you like him… Think about what you want and not how to ‘please’ some guy.

How about putting it back on the guy, where it belongs?!?!?!?

I am not saying, or suggesting that we don’t compromise, adjust, alter and be kind and courteous. I am saying that we all ‘really know’ when it’s right and when it’s not… and when it’s too hard, difficult even painful and you are twisting yourself into a pretzel, negating who you are to make it work… Hey, how about realizing that it doesn’t!?

Be true to yourself, not the guy…

When you know who you are and are being who you are, you have a better chance to bring to you, who you are ‘comfortable’ with…who enhances you, and you, them, along with a certain excitement, otherwise, it’s can turn into a disaster for everyone.

I am not saying that we don’t want to be aware of our weaknesses and short comings and that, when made aware of them, we work on ourselves. But that we do this without the ‘purpose’ to ‘get’ a man, or to be more ‘attractive’ for one…that we are doing what we do for ‘ourselves’…

Many men have become terribly unattractive in every way… might it be because women have ‘catered’ to them, instead of the men growing up to be real men and learning to respect women…??? Some men seem to think that they are the ‘catch’ (I detest using that word in this way) when it’s the woman who is the ‘prize’.

And if a man treats a woman as if he is the ‘catch’, instead of her being the ‘prize’.. he is a jerk and not worth being around…

Why do you want a man in your life? Figure it out. After you do and know what you need and desire, ‘pick’ the man who meets those needs and desires and, if he doesn’t, walk on by. Men may ‘choose’, but it’s the woman who ‘picks’. So, women, it’s ‘you’ who makes the decision. You set the pace of the relationship and set the boundaries of it… and men need boundaries…

It’s the man who gets down on one knee and asks the big question with the offer of a ring as a promise and commitment… And there is a reason for this. He is offering himself ‘as a man’ who will be ‘worthy’ to create and make a life with … if ‘she decides’ that ‘she wants’ him and ‘thinks’ that he is ‘worthy’ of her affection and commitment.

He may choose, but she makes the final decision…and I think this may freak the weak men out along with the losers.

But, who wants them anyway. So, they play the game of never choosing… to force some women into ‘trying’ to be what ‘he’ wants… twisting herself into a pretzel… these women have forgotten that they are the ‘prize’…And this never works…it’s the man that needs to be the man, in order, for him to be worthy and to gain the hand of the woman…

And ladies, don’t settle on the major things. Set the stage for the man to rise to the occasion and if he can’t, doesn’t, or won’t… how about BA BYE BOY!… And you certainly, don’t want to have a baby with him. Why would you even be having sex with an undesirable anyway? No one, but a desperate fool would…

Women are the keepers of the society. It’s women who decide the level and standards, not the men. And women these days are lowering their standards and that of society and this is allowing for many men to become not worth much anything…

Lately, I have spoken with more frustrated and unhappy women concerning men than I ever have. They are unhappy in their relationships because so many men are weak, whiny and wanting women to take care of them in some area, or all, and this is unnatural and an imbalance.

With this ‘equality’ deal and women trying to be more like a man…
men are losing what it is to be a man… and women are losing their need and desire for them. A man protects and a woman nurtures… that is their essence respectively. We have blurred the lines too much and it is getting fragmented and ugly…

The sexes are equal… but they are very different…and those differences are good and why there is an attraction in the first place…

When the feminine keeps and raises the standards, the men will rise up to meet them… and if they don’t, they are not worthy of your attention. Unless, of course, you think lowly of yourself. And if you think lowly of yourself, many lazy, trashy, needy, promiscuous men will attract, react and treat you accordingly.

I am a precious woman. I am attractive, intelligent, kind, caring, confident, talented, fun, silly, serious, humble, insecure, secure, strong, fit, fearful, very feminine, and much more and I know it. And if my knowing this, while becoming more aware, and being who I am and becoming more of what God meant for me, bothers a man. If my being ‘me’, makes ‘a man’ feel insecure and thinking I am arrogant, ‘narcissistic’ (the over-used buzz word of today and many use it without even knowing what it really means), high maintenance, or that I think too highly of myself, or whatever. He is not of my level and not worthy of my being around him, other than to show me what it is that I don’t want and how I don’t want to be treated.

I set standards and boundaries for myself and, Mister, if you don’t respect them then you are not worthy of me.

This is how all women should think of themselves with their own traits and personalities described…

Confidence is not narcissisticConfidence and self-respect are emotionally healthy. And the unhealthy and insecure can’t stand to interact with confidence because they can’t control it, so they try to drag it down to their level, by calling names and controlling behaviors…’gaslighting’…

Many men these days will be sweet, complimentary and mannerly, until they don’t get what they want, or are rejected. This is when you will see the ‘real’ character and nature of the man. If they become abusive with words, actions and behaviors, or ‘vague’ in their intent, then it’s time to walk away. It will not get better, it will only get worse, if they see, and realize that you ‘will’ put up with their negation of yourself… they will escalate it as this is the nature of lowly men.

Do you just want a man, or do you want a man who respects you, makes you happy and fulfills you? (I am not suggesting that this isn’t your responsibility, also.) But if you are around someone that isn’t, or doesn’t do these things, just to have someone…. you must not like yourself much, or think that you are worthy … think about that, huh?

And if you don’t think you are worthy, why would some guy?

And lowly guys love women with low-selfworth… for alittle while anyway…

It is much better, happier, healthy, more fulfilling and everything else to be alone than to be with someone who tears you down, sabotages you, uses you, hurts you, abuses you, or is addicted (if a person has an addiction that is where their attention will be, not on you)

A guy is just a guy, but a woman! She gives birth to life. She sets the values, the standards and the morality of a society. She is the light, the softness, the refinement and beauty of the world and this is why a man desires her. A woman makes a man’s life worth living.

So women, be all of these glorious things at your highest level. Be who God meant you to be.. don’t lower yourself, or your standards for some man…
Women! It’s not about HIM It’s about YOU…

WE are the prize, the light, at the end of a man’s dark tunnel.

Any other way, guys and gals, and it just plain doesn’t work…
and why in so many instances, today, it isn’t working.

(And it’s only the weak, insecure, lowly men that can’t accept this and will try to tear you down and will fight this and will post tacky comments. Real men know this truth into the core of their being and speak and behave accordingly.)

And real men are oh, so sexy, sensual, confident, fun, attentive, mannerly, strong, sincere and much more…

21 thoughts on “It’s about you, not him. You are the prize…”

  1. “Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of it back.”

  2. This is a good article and most of the younger men today do not get it and never will. Men have become arrogant or like babies. My daughters tell me all the time that there are no good men. Sad state of affairs with men. So many don’t know what being a man is and they will never know the pleasures of love and a woman.

  3. I’ve always believed the woman is the prize, not the man. I get this dating advice from a guy that teaches the *Alpha* lifestyle, that does teach guys to be the prize towards women. He also says, women view *nice guys* as broken down men.

  4. Become familiar with your own self-worth—then nourish, cherish, and fiercely protect who you are and how you love. — Aunt Rant

  5. The core of this article is about self respect and inner beauty. This brings confidence and strength, attributes found attractive by everyone. There are no lies, false assumptions, misdirected, or games with a person who has self respect and confidence.

  6. Thank you Ayn, you made a difficult situation better by sharing your valuable insights. Also your a real sweetheart, I’m so blessed to be your friend. And any guy who ends up with you should consider himself very blessed.

  7. WOMEN ARE SPECIAL SPIRITS THAT BRING JOY INTO THE WORLD. A MAN IS A FOOL WHO DOESN’T SURROUND HIMSELF WITH THEM! THANKS, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.

  8. Fully in Agreement with you WISDOM!! That

    ” Women! It’s not about HIM – It’s about YOU…

    WE are the prize, the light, at the end of a man’s dark tunnel.”
    How difficult it becomes for a lady to Accommodate with unworthy Man, knowing fully well at the beginning of the relationship that he falls short of minimum standards and then loathing about it when he starts to show his real colors, which is Natural. Henceforth
    Don’t expect any betterment in Him. So I Quote you WISDOM!! …..
    ” So women, be all of these glorious things at your highest level. Be who God meant you to be.. don’t lower yourself, or your standards for some man…” and never Settle for anything less than your expectations BECOZ
    Later on its only disappointment.
    Be true to yourself, not the guy…

    I always find the well narrated Truthful Facts
    In your Articles, which are Details in brief. I always benefit by reading them.

  9. Great and true article. Men must step up or why would any woman of value even notice. This site is amazing!

  10. People can call it arrogance, rigidness, prudishness or whatever else they think. I call it having standards and I’m not settling for anybody who will not treat me as respectfully as I treat myself. Being alone doesn’t mean I feel lonely. Too busy for that. We stay busy and enjoy independence until we meet the one who treats us right.

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