than what is said…

What  a person doesn’t say can reveal just as much about them and their agenda as what they do say…

Sometimes, rhetoric is empty and silence is full of meaning and information….

So, listen not only to the words, but to the silence between the words…

Listen for what you can’t hear…

Look to the left and click to follow …

 Would you rather feel hungry anticipating what you are going to have to eat, or for a meal? Or would you rather be full, even over-stuffed, after having a meal?

Do you feel better when you are hungry, or better with a full even stuffed belly?

I ate so much over the holidays and even now, still into February… that I feel stuffed. Even when full, I kept eating. I was going past my set point, until finally, I realized, it was making mefeel yucky on all levels. I felt sluggish, lazy, even off kilter in my balance…

I don’t think I have actually gained weight… but I do not feel good in my body… and it makes me wonder how terrible those who are really over-weight feel? Do they even realize how ‘out of sorts’ they are with themselves on all levels? Do they even have a set point, and if they do, can they recognize it? That point when you go past feeling full and into stuffed… and if you do this too often, you feel sick… and if you ignore feeling sick and keep pushing past your set point, you get fatter and fatter and FATTER!

When I go past my set point, past feeling full and into feeling stuffed too often, I STOP IT!

I always catch myself when I get to this place and focus on working out, while cutting out most indulgences, until I feel good in my skin again. What I feel like in my body is more important to me than eating things I just want, but don’t need…

It’s fun to over-indulge, at times… but actually, I feel better when I am a bit hungry… flat tummy, lean and slim is when I feel more energetic…

And that could be a metaphor for life…

Don’t go past your set point too often…stay a bit hungry in anticipation of what you will be served up for your next meal…so when it arrives, you won’t be too over-stuffed to take it in and to enjoy it…

Are we responsible for every choice we make?

How can you make a choice that you don’t know you can make?

We are all psychologically imprinted by our genetics, our family environment, our friends, even acquaintances, our individual situations, the media, our exposure to and experiences in life.

Each of us takes the imprint differently as we are all individual. There can be two people experiencing the same situation and they will be imprinted and react differently because of their individuality.

Example: I had parents who were both functional alcoholics. Our life looked great from the outside, success and everything good… but in the house there was distortion. My Father not drinking was a fine man, but when he drank he was verbally abusive.

I saw what it was, and I detested being around alcohol and rarely, if ever, drank. My family members would laugh at me and call me ‘square’ for not drinking. The others drank and joined in the insanity. It repulsed me and I pulled away from it….

I wanted out of the alcoholic dysfunction and swore that I would never marry an alcoholic… that when I got of my parent’s house … my life would be different — no alcoholics!

I married right out of college and it was soon revealed that my husband was an alcoholic.

So, unknown to me,  I made a choice to marry exactly what I didn’t want… because I had been imprinted with the familiarity of the energy of certain behaviors. Therefore, I was drawn to them, because I couldn’t see clearly at that time. I couldn’t see past what had been imprinted on me.

I learned from that experience. Today I can spot an alcoholic at first glance and I walk away. You can’t have a ‘healthy, fulfilling’ relationship with someone who has an addiction because their relationship is first and foremost with their addiction.

But the first choice I made in marriage, hoping to get away from alcoholism, led me back into the horror of it … because of the imprint of my conditioning, I wasn’t able to choose clearly.

Was I alone responsible for choosing what I didn’t want, or did my parents shoulder that responsibility for imprinting this upon me?

In most cases, we choose what we know… and in that choice, we bear the responsibility of it. But we are not always alone in the responsibility for the choice as we are choosing blinded. I ‘thought’ I was choosing differently, but I was choosing the same.

I bore the pain, the trauma and the responsibility that occurred from my blind choice.
But was I alone in the responsibility of my being blind in my choice?

There is a trend, now to ‘blame’ the victim. My parents told me. “You made the choice to marry that loser, we didn’t” Oh really!?  Their imprint upon me helped make that choice for me. Interesting, that they never took their responsibility for their part in my distorted imprint. They, like most alcoholics or those addicted, avoid the responsibility of self-evaluation and put the ‘blame’ on anyone and everyone, but themselves.

We don’t know until we do know.. until, we become aware of what is driving our choices and if we are wise, it is our responsibility to become aware so that we can choose differently.

That is our individual journey in life to ‘respond’, which equals responsibility, to what we can see clearly, when we can and do see it… and to, therefore, grow and to choose differently.

Responsibility – the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something. The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.

Shirking responsibility has become a national pastime. Our leaders and many in the public eye do it continually… and seem not to learn from mistakes…

I have heard people say. “It’s ‘your choice’ to feel that way. How you feel has nothing to do with me.” Well, that can be a real cop out. It’s a psychological ploy to deny ‘their responsibility’ for their participation in it and some people have taken up this ‘ploy’ to project their lack of responsibility onto their victim and to further victimize.

It’s our responsibility and duty to ourselves to learn from our choices… so that the next time, we can choose differently and better and be able to make the choice that we previously didn’t know we could make…

What do you think?….

Look to the left and make the choice to follow and…