Women need men to be men…
Clearly there’s a level of psychology ‘driving’ cheating that needs some deep understanding.
As far as the men who can’t stay faithful… There are many reasons. There are the men who never ‘got’ women when they were young, then built up a complex, almost ‘hating’ women for the ‘power’ they have over them because they could never have them. These types of men are emotional and often have an ‘active fantasy life’, and because those early fantasies never came to be, they ‘resent’ women. Then they grow up and become a bit more confident, or attractive, accomplished, or successful with lots of money and they have no problem getting women, but their resentment and youthful insecurity about women is still there. These ‘creative fantasy types’ can’t stay faithful because, deep down, they can’t stand that women still control them and they ‘resent’ that they even have such a strong ‘desire’ for women. They hate what they ‘love’ and ‘desire’.So, they cheat, lie, get with lots of women, and often try to control or manipulate them.
Then there are men who simply love sex with lots of women, can’t get enough, have active libidos. This comes from hormones raging in their bodies, an urge to procreate. They ‘think’ it is their right and they exhibit no control. And usually these types of men go for women who are easy to get and want ‘uncomplicated’ relationships, too. They don’t want to deal with emotions as they haven’t the emotional intellect to do so. Males have been given this sense of entitlement that this kind of behavior is due them…
As for the women who cheat… I think some are tired of being used by men and have decided to use them back. They are tired of the ‘entitlement of men’, in this regard, so … are taking that entitlement for themselves. Some women have been damaged, can’t love and commit, so are going for the ‘excitement’ and ‘temporary escape’ like many emotionally damaged men do. This seems the better choice rather than sitting there being the one cheated on. So, these women have flipped the game.
Also, I have noticed that many men these days, maybe, always were, are so needy. Many are looking for a ‘mother’, instead of being a grown man. This kind of a man exhausts and continually leans on a woman and she will soon start looking away from and past him. A woman and certainly an emotionally healthy one, requires emotional fulfillment and a boy/man can’t provide this, as he is too needy himself.
Whiny, baby men are nauseating to be around and whiny, needy men seem to be around more and more these days. Is this the effect of mothers being career women, with children left in need of mothering? Little boys aren’t feeling nurtured as children, so they grow up looking for it in every woman that they meet.
Women, even though some these days are behaving like men, still have the innate desire that a man be a man.
There are Internet sites that promote cheating and that put down marriage and commitment in their advertising…They promote that it’s only the “whimps” who get married and, or commit.
When it’s actually the opposite… It takes a secure individual to commit and stay committed. It’s the insecure, lost and searching who go from one conquest to another and who can’t commit to anyone including themselves. They are so lost and insecure that they ‘think’ there is always someone else who will make them feel better about themselves just around the corner. It is always about ‘them’ and how they ‘feel’ in the moment and not the other person. Therefore, no one is really ‘satisfied’ for long.
It’s in a committed relationship, where we really learn who we are in relation to another. We learn to put someone else first and to care about their happiness and welfare, instead of always focusing on ourselves. In any relationship, there is excitement and happiness in the beginning. It’s when ‘reality’ appears that we learn who we are. This helps create and define our character… But when reality sets in and the excitement diminishes, is when the lost, insecure and searching, exit, and are off to find the next excitement that will take them out of themselves… and into fantasy and escape.
For men, women very well may be the ‘magic elixir’ that makes his life worth living, but not if he cheats on her… because any self-respecting woman will shut down and close off her magic. If a woman is emotionally healthy, her sexuality is a deep part of her core… and this is what men are after… if a woman diminishes, or compromises her sexuality … she diminishes the essence of herself to herself.
What is going on in our society that love and commitment are getting such a beating? Why are so many lost, searching and addicted to the pursuit, instead of the reality of love, stability, intimacy, emotional growth and enduring love?
Why are there so many emotional whimps? Even after all the relationship, self-help books, the psychologist, ‘expert’ talk show onslaught …that men must get in touch with their emotional side and that women can take care of and support herself… that no one ‘should’ have any needs and that as a woman to desire to be taken care of and nurtured and as a man to be the provider of these things is not good. That we have gotten further away from love, intimacy, commitment and now are taking it all down to having ‘sex’…which is shallow, lacking, empty and worth nothing, but momentary release…So in essence women are becoming men and men are becoming women and it is worst than it ever was… Gender confusion all around…
Many women are getting tired of ‘being men’. Many men aren’t men any longer…. and men are complaining that they want a feminine woman… because so many women have lost the art of being a real woman….
It’s the nature of a male to be the provider, the protector and the leader.. and it’s the nature of the female to be the emotional, intuitor, the nester, the anchor in the relationship.. A male provides the space for the female to blossom.. this is the recipe for fulfillment… in this, there is balance…
So, what as a society have we done to ourselves? Male/female seems to be more confused than ever, less happy and less content with many left longing …
Because, we have and are creating an unnatural imbalance….
The sexes are different for a reason… if we try to make them the same… what we are getting is dissatisfaction in everyone and this is creating more cheating…the looking and yearning for what is found only in relationship with knowing self and ultimately that with the opposite sex.. Men need women to be women and women need men to be men….
