Sex is used in commercials. It grabs our attention! We human beings have an animal reaction to sex. It is innate, a drive that allows us to propagate and survive as a race. We are attracted to that which promises the quickest and surest route to sex, driven by the tiny bit of our brain in charge of species survival.

So something overt and obvious such as when that hottie walks by and the mind takes a vacation and the endorphins start to boil and bubble, and before you know it, you’re raising an eyebrow with a “come hither” look in your eyes. You’re physically affected by just the nearness of this person even without knowing a single thing about them!

This can affect the choices we make in what to wear and how to wear it. We want to be attractive to potential lovers; however, this doesn’t always attract the type of person that will stay and build a “nest.” Or a person that is emotionally stable and mature enough to create and maintain an enduring relationship.

We do control our behaviors with our minds. Athough, it seems difficult to believe, at times.

The truth is that human beings are afraid of change, and some will continue in their rut until it kills them… but you don’t have to! Many thinking people overcome their fear of change and create new and happier lives.
 
“But old tapes” need to be replaced with “new tapes.” Wise people and those with with emotional wisdom control their thoughts and behaviors, instead of letting their emotions controlling them. 

Look at the marketing images used to attract. They are aimed at base emotional responses. See them for what they are – shallow images concocted by an advertising team, meant to control and manipulate.

Is that beauty in the ad really attainable for the average man?
 
Or is that ‘hunk’ what most men look like?

Cut out some magazine ads, put a label over the middle of them, and write “LIES” across them in RED. Now go through magazines and find images of people holding hands, healthy couples (not Hollywood versions) and other positive images, and begin to create a dream board. This is a poster board with images that you select and place on it, images which support your healthy change. Look at the board just before you go to sleep.

Let go of the need for the “sudden impulse” of attraction, and give yourself some rules to govern how you proceed. Sure there needs to be attraction, but that ‘overwhelming sexual draw’, many times, leads to nothing, but shallowness and superfical attraction. That sexual draw can blind you to who the person really is and distort real feelings. 

Here are some suggestions:

Don’t attribute personality traits to someone based on your physical attraction to them, wait to get to know them. If someone leads with their ‘sexuality’ ask yourself why? What’s their motive?  Most people who tend to do this, either male or female, are using their sexuality either to control, or to hide behind.

Six Week Rule: Wait six weeks of knowing, dating, seeing this person to decide if you even want to pursue the relationship further.

Six Month Rule: After six months, the “real” person will be visible. The false front or ‘act’, if there is one, usually can’t be maintained much longer.

Now these are only ‘guidelines’… sure there’s that one in a million love at first site that lasts a lifetime..

What are some other methods for developing healthier sexual attitudes and relationships?