Vulnerablity…what we all want is to be…

???????????????????????????????accepted and loved for who we are, all that we are, and to be fully seen and understood for being a ‘unique individual’. That someone will see us in our good, our strengths, our bad and our weaknesses, in the fullness of our vulnerability, the wholeness of who we are and love us. 

To experience this is what love and acceptance are… and what most all of us desire, want and even crave. To be seen physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually naked, open and raw, and to still be loved…

We have the desire to feel and to know that the real us, the whole of us, is indeed lovable and acceptable..

In an intimate relationship when you reveal your weaknesses, fragility, holes and wounds to another, or get close enough, so that they are obvious, is when you are at your most vulnerable. When your vulnerability is revealed, a person with the ability to love and who loves you, will support and protect you and your wounds.

The ability to be vulnerable and to love and be loved are one… There will not be one without the other… to love you must become vulnerable… love and vulnerability go hand in hand…

In the romantic love relationship, when, and if, we are accepted, protected and honored for who we are, all of who we are, in both our weaknesses and strengths is when we have the opportunity to heal our wounds to become more of who we are and are meant to be. This is what relationship is about and for… and sure, it can be in friendship, but the most powerful and intense is the romantic love relationship. And if your love is also your friend … there lies the best of both worlds…

But, if we reveal our inner selves, our soft core and show our vulnerability to the ‘wrong’ kind of person and we are exploited, made fun of, or diminished for being who we are…more wounds can be created and old wounds made deeper. So it’s a risk to reveal your vulnerabilities and it is the predators, the evil, the emotionally unhealthy of this world who will seek to harm others through their vulnerabilities.

Predators  and cons will do everything they can and think of to get a person to reveal their vulnerabilities, so that they can come in for the kill.

People who really love you, will support you when you need it, have your back, protect you and will accept and nurture you through your vulnerabilities. Anything else is not love and should be walked away from… and deemed as fraudulent.

Some people can’t love because they are fearful of becoming vulnerable to another… but love can only be fully experienced once vulnerability occurs…

To truly love and be loved, you must become vulnerable. Love is not for the weak or insecure… it is for those brave enough, mature enough, aware enough to allow vulnerability.

At the first sign, when you feel tweaked internally, if someone disrespects you, makes fun of your most vulnerable self, exploits you, abuses you, taunts you, etc., they are not caring of your highest interests and are not good for you. They don’t care about you and certainly don’t or can’t love…

So feel and listen to how you feel internally and be very aware how those who ‘claim’ to care and love treat you.

The most revealing aspect is how someone treats you when you are at your weakest, most needy, or wounded and vulnerable. This will tell you volumes about who they really are and their ability, or inability to love…

It is easy to love when everything is happy, sexy, fun, new and adventuresome… but real love is based on the whole of the person… and the whole of the life experiences revealed through another.

To be truly seen, understood and accepted… is to be loved.

“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him – or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim Keller

Take care of you, protect your holes and wounds, protect your soul…
You are a precious child of God. After all, he knows all your vulnerabilities and loves you still and fully, the all of you, the whole of you. God knows and accepts you…

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3 thoughts on “Vulnerablity…what we all want is to be…”

  1. Ayn you give voice to so many true and deep thought provoking aspects with respect to relationships. What you bring forth here is very true.

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