Excerpt from DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR…

Do you feel less than, more than, or equal to?

Most of us are a mix of our insecurities and our strengths…

When an emotionally aware person feels insecure, they have learned to self-reflect concerning why it is that they do.  Insecure people are either afraid of looking at self or have no awareness that this is what their feelings in the circumstance are telling them to do. When feeling insecure – ask yourself – Why am I feeling that I am not ‘equal to’  – equal to others – equal to the challenge – equal to being in this place, circumstance – even equal to being in the world?  People feeling insecure do not feel worthy and this can manifest in their bodies, lives and into the world in many different ways.

Some of the ways are :

They don’t feel good enough or equal to – so they may criticize others to make themselves feel better and so that  in their distorted head they think they will bring others down to their insecure level as they try to one-up others.

They don’t feel good enough – so they have much negative-self talk.  and this projects into everything in their life. The view the world through their lens of their insecurity which translates into seeing most everything and everyone as negative.

They may be ill often – one aliment after another. This is caused by their low energy and internal stress  which affects their immune system

Often times – insecure people live behind or in a facade of their own making. They have fear of being found out for who and what they truly are.  They treat people as if they don’t matter because only they matter. It’s all about them. They have an inflated ego – which is a defense for how insecure they feel.

Definition of EGO: a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance – the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.

Our ego level and valuation may change drastically when we are fractured and out of balance. Ego may go from one extreme to the other from feeling down and weak to overly confident triggered by external circumstances or internal self-talk.

There is a syndrome – where you go from feeling less than, to more than, but not equal to.  Which is – you feel insecure and less than others – that you are not good enough – you don’t matter – everyone is better than you – have more – are more attractive – more intelligent, etc. Then you flip into thinking and feeling that you are better than – smarter than -everyone else is a fool even stupid and you know more, are special and are way above and better than they are. You go from feeling below everyone in the world to higher than everyone in the world. Which means that you don’t feel equal to, equal to the challenge, equal to living life in the way you desire, equal to developing your talents and skills, equal to taking care of and grooming your body so that you are the best you can be – equal to being on earth along with everyone else.

When you are feeling less than, you will fall into envy, jealousy, denial and defensiveness. You may criticize and blame others to make self feel better. You beat yourself up with negative self-talk and dark thoughts. You fall into fear of the future. Fear, insecurity and negativity take you over. You fear dealing with tasks and dealing with others.  You don’t like people and think they don’t like you. You are insecure and devalue yourself and everyone else.

When you are feeling more than, you will bloat up with arrogance – will treat others with disrespect, like you are much better than they are – you will boast and brag – you will talk down to people – criticize them to show them that you are better than they are, etc. You over value yourself to the extent that you become unbearable.

Either way, you are not at balance and don’t feel equal. You go from feeling like you are nothing to feeling like you are above all others. Continually and repeatedly doing this will wear you out as you beat yourself up in insecurity then bloat yourself up in self-importance. Genuine self-confidence is feeling equal to the challenge. That you self-reflect, learn, evaluate self before pointing the finger outward. Ego and confidence are two different things.

Definition of CONFIDENCE – feeling or consciousness of one’s ability or reliance of one’s circumstances – faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper or effective way – to have confidence is to have trust in self-reliance and ability.

Sure, there are days we all feel like a bitch, are grumpy and out of sorts then there are days when we feel on top of the world, can do no wrong and are king of all we survey – simplistically, like the difference between a good hair day and a bad one.  When you are at balance, the extremes won’t take you down as low as to fall into depression or so high that you become reckless into self-destruction. You will not be blown about by the external winds of change – up so high then down low controlled by every turn and twist. You will remain, more often than not, at confidence and equal to the challenge. Being in internal confidence, you will/can more easily adapt to others and circumstances staying more in balance without the highs and lows. You will be able to focus on issues and solutions, instead of allowing your emotions and the feelings connected to them take you over.

A fractured ego – goes from one extreme to the other, from over valuation of self to devaluation of self. Emotions, feelings and behaviors are unbalanced both internally and externally. When you arrive at balance, ego will remain internally confident more of the time. Confident that you are equal to others, not more than, not less than, but equal to the challenge; when you arrive at this place, there is a big internal sigh of release – like a balloon full of hot air deflating.  Because you realize that you are just fine. You are okay, all you need to do is to be yourself, learn about self, develop yourself, accept self, challenge self, be open to learn from others, listen to others, listen to self, respect yourself and respect others.  Your competition is first within self then reflected outward. Living in this way, you will respect yourself and others. Everyone has their worth, their talents, their value. Everyone is/can be equal to and so can you.

Remember, when you are feeling less than or better than, you are not feeling equal to…

To become more self-aware…