Tag Archives: Daddy Throws me in the Air

Dating, Health, Inspirational/Spiritual, Love, Men, Public Service Message For Women, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Sex, Women, Women In Real Life

Love is for the brave, not the weak. What is genuine love?

23 Comments

It’s hard to love someone through the ups and downs, the good, bad and ugly and that is why commitment is required. It’s difficult and makes one feel vulnerable to allow someone to see all sides, the dark, the bad, the fears, etc. instead of only the good, the better, the ‘image’, etc.  – that is why commitment is important, even required.
When things get hard, it’s easy to exit and be onto someone who will see you with fresh eyes and that you can fool for awhile into thinking that you are such a good, nice, kind, successful person, etc. – whatever your persona or whichever way it is that you ‘need’ to view yourself and, or to be viewed to feel ‘okay’ about yourself and to keep your image in tact.

Some weak, insecure people can’t/don’t genuinely love and commit because they are fearful of their wounds, their weaknesses being revealed and seen because they then would need to address, heal and correct them to become more whole, in order to feel that they are worthy to self and another. As long as they can keep those things hidden and what they ‘think’ is out of sight, they ‘feel’ that they are ‘okay’ – when they really aren’t. Facing your wounds, your issues can be painful and it’s the brave who do so. Love is for the brave, not the weak.

The challenge of the love relationship and life is when others see who you really are and when you see who they really are – all their different sides and you still love one another through thick and thin.  That is what love is – that is what commitment is. That is why the vows of marriage are as they are – for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, good times and not so good, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, along with ‘let no one put asunder’.

It’s easy to love when everything is perfect – not so easy when it isn’t, but the genuine enduring fulfillment comes when a couple goes through the thick and thin of life together.  Vows of a love relationship are not – ‘I will love you, until I see that you aren’t perfect, we have troubles, or you get sick, or  when you might see the real me and leave me.’

The benefit of love is that it challenges both individuals to become their best, to heal their wounds, address their issues, by rubbing their souls against one another for the benefit of both. Love is the most clear and profound mirror you will ever have.
There are some fatal flaws that which are if an individual is too weak or ignorant to address and that another can’t abide, until awareness, healing and change occurs  – as in cheating, addictions, or abuse, etc. 

Only if you tell someone that you love them, but can’t love them through their worse place, time or situation, or when they behave their worst, then what is your love worth? Not much. The times when people behave their worst is when they need love the most. Actually, it may be a cry out for love. Sometimes, it might need to be tough love.
Relationship is ultimately for healing of the individual soul and also together as the whole – a commitment of support, care and nurturing. It’s not for sucking off the good times, the sexual energy, the beauty, the allure, the excitement as in the beginning of romance, or the success, or exploitation of everything you can get, until or before you are seen for who and what you are – then off you go to find fresh prey.  Love is for giving, not what you can get. It’s a circle of giving and receiving – not always equal at times, but it will work out for the well-being of both in the long range, when and if both are committed.

Love is not for quitters, losers, the weak, or fair-weather friends. It’s for the winners, healers, tenacious, aware, strong, brave, etc,   It’s not a sprint. It’s a long distance run.  It’s the most genuine fulfilling place on earth to be and the only thing that lasts through eternity. People in love, oftentimes live longer and stay in better health. And the glow and commitment that can be seen in the faces and energy of those who have made this journey together are palatable as it’s an energy that emits a glow that heals not only themselves, but others and out into the world.

Tools to assist in awareness with opportunity for healing – DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. Male/female the most powerful connection/attraction on earth – created differently for respective individual purposes, but equal.

Dating, EXPLOSIONS, Family, Friendship, Health, Inspirational, Love, Men, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Sex, Women, Women In Real Life

Can insecure fearful people…

8 Comments

love another for genuine reasons?

Insecure fearful people are overly focused on self and what they lack and what they are trying to gain in order to feel better about themselves. So can they genuinely care for or love another? They are most always looking to fill themselves up in some way, instead of giving to another and to, at times be able to fill another up.
Love is about what you give, not what you take.When an insecure fearful person does give, they most always have a need, even must feel like they have some kind of gain or reward in it for themselves, or it isn’t worth it to them.  When, or if an insecure taker does give, they are more concerned that others see what they did and that they get approval and applause for their giving, rather than to be focused on just the pure pleasure of giving to another. Their innate insecurity creates an inner need to make everything about themselves. Many times, their insecurity leads them to be controlling of others.

Momentary pleasure with a temporary feeling of security are only when they gain something or feel good about themselves – so they can pat their needy little selves on the back.  They suck off the energy of others to get through their miserably dark and lacking life, instead of dealing with their inner turmoil, issues and feelings of insecurity. They may even appear egotistical in their words and behaviors to cover-up for their innate insecurity.

They attract to beauty, money, success, status and things that they ‘think’ will rub off on them and give them a brighter facade or image – in order to build up their insecure ego. 

In a love relationship – there will be a circle of giving and receiving and at times, one may need more than the other because of life circumstances, etc. – but when, or if one begins to feel drained, used and taken for granted – in ‘aware’ love, the other will sense this and connect with them in comforting love – as in hugging, touching, nurturing, or a look in the eyes. But an insecure, needy, self-serving, selfish person will rarely if ever recognize need or lack in another, unless, it serves their self-interest to do so – as in they will gain attention, prestige, sex, gifts, money, or reward of some sort, etc.

Example: in relationship – you can handle their moods and issues, but they can’t handle yours. And not only that, they ‘expect’ you to handle theirs, and will feel put upon whenever there is a need for them to handle your emotions or moods.
Think the woman who can’t stand it when her husband shows weakness in some area – or the man who negates his tired wife’s need for rest and attention. These people are so overly about having their own needs met through the other, than to truly care for and love the other – with little ability to see, recognize the other person as separate, with their own issues, needs and pain.

If your well-being is overly tied to your partner, you will be internally that of a needy child.
On the flip side, if your partner can’t have a melt down with your support  and understanding then you are not  being there for them – but are there only for your selfish-self and childish needs.  If you expect your partner to be perfect in your eyes and out in the world at all times – think of the pressure you are putting on them. Relationship is a place where you can rest and be rejuvenated, to feel and  know that you will be comforted and cared for when you are not at your best.  It is a place to sustain you when you are down and to lift you up.

If you are too insecure and weak to face your issues and pain, you will deflect and project them onto another – trying to make something wrong about them, in order to make yourself feel better about you. 

Love is a combination of acceptance of another, while having self- awareness and growth at the same time.

There are individual fatal flaws that make relationship impossible as in – cheating, addictions, lack of genuine commitment, need to escape at any sign of stress or conflict, inability to have empathy as in seeing your partner’s side of the situation with understanding. If a person is addicted to anything then their relationship is with the addiction instead of their partner –  that addiction may be alcohol, drugs, food, TV, porn, parental approval whether parent be dead or alive, and material things such as collections, etc.
Relationship is for giving, receiving and ultimately healing and growth both individually and together to equal balance in self and in one another. It takes much self-awareness and a mature openness in both  individuals to merge with another in genuine love and commitment. Otherwise, it’s just playing, like a child does and becomes a game to see who can take and get their needs met in spite of the  needs of the other.

In today’s world, there is much narcissism, selfishness, materialism, self-centeredness, lack of commitment, immorality, inability to self-reflect, lack of ability to look at self in genuine awareness. And because of this lack there are many unhappy, depressed, anxiety-ridden, addicted even tormented people. Immaturity is rampant. Accountability and responsibility are lacking.

There is no relationship without accountability and responsibility. It’s about commitment to self in awareness and growth as well as commitment to one another. This is what makes relationship so rich, worthwhile and life worth living.

In relationship is where you learn about yourself  in ‘relation’ to another human being with the ability to become more and this is even in casual daily passing relationships. Only ultimately and more importantly, it is intensely experienced in the love relationship. You were attracted to another and brought together for a reason and purpose. If you shut down, runaway or escape when it gets difficult or becomes real, you are not only harming your partner but ultimately yourself.

When commitment, accountability and responsibility are negated, put down, diminished, dismissed, ignored and escaped from in our individual lives, we are creating  a distorted, fractured, weak immoral society and  world – wherein self-pleasure, selfishness and self- centeredness rule and ultimately there is much self misery.

Books to assist in awareness and growth DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart – Both available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. in e-book and soft cover.

Family, Inspirational/Spiritual, Love, Politics, Relationships, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Becoming aware…

9 Comments

At church yesterday, I sat in a pew behind a family of grandparents, parents and a sweet little four-year-old girl. During the church service, the  four-year-old would move from one side of the pew to the other, sit by her mother, then snuggle into her grandfather, look through the hymnal, play with her little pink purse, open and close it – sit still for a moment, then begin her exploration and movements all over again. She was a well-behaved for a four-year-old – quiet, sweet and would sit and be still as long as she could, when one of the adults would suggest that she do so. She was perfect in her development and behavior for four.
But what if she was still behaving in this manner at the age of 16 – at the age of 30 – at the age of 50? If she was, then we would look at her with pity – concern and wonder why she never grew past the developmental age of 4. Is it a mental disorder – was she not reared properly – does she just like to be an irritation to others – is she selfish and spiteful and just not want to fit in?  Does she like to cause disturbances? Was she not taught manners, patience, respect, empathy responsibility, accountability?

This example is an exaggeration because should an adult move about as this child was – clearly something would be terribly wrong. Only today, so many adults are walking around with the internal developmental age of immature children,  self-centered, selfish, no accountability, lack of manners, lack of responsibility, etc.

They may on the outside ‘look’ like adults, but inside they are stuck at some underdeveloped developmental stage. I am not referring to our keeping our inner child alive – so we can, at times, run and play and keep our child-like curiosity that keeps us vital though adult life. I am referring to inner turmoil and dysfunction, either because they are weak, were never taught, had dysfunction modeled for them or were not imprinted with the attributes that lead to true inner awareness and maturity to be able to adapt, develop mentally and emotionally to live a fully responsible life to self and others.

They are the adults walking around who ‘look’ the part, ‘dress’ the part- even have a job  that ‘appears’ the part, but who are not genuine. They are frauds unto themselves and others and live in internal misery and harm many others along the way.  They are addicted to things, to substances, to sex, to using others, to creating a false image, to staying immature, selfish and all about self.
“Me, me, me  – it’s mine – I can do what I want to. Leave me alone!” –  are a few of their outward or inward cries. They are stuck in a developmental stage of childhood with no awareness of self in relation to others or even to what they are doing to themselves. They are ‘play acting’ the part of an adult. Many are referred to as narcissist, pathological, dysfunctional, cluster-B’s, depressives, etc. They use people, institutions, positions, things, substances – any and whomever they can, to try to keep their adult in-control facade in tact.
The lack of maturity, accountability, responsibly in many adults today is astounding.  They are depressed, anxious, addicted, power- hungry without self-control, hoarders, materialistic,  control-freaks, stuff themselves with food, drink, etc. immoral – self-serving – selfish, etc. 

Lib/Dem/progressive/ NWO globalists are prime example of developmental dysfunctions. They want everything given to them – power and control over others, just because they say so and think they ‘know’ better.  Think the developmental stage of the know- it- all teenager or even the NO! of the toddler.  The ‘I want it all for nothing’ – think the toddler to age of five stages. It’s five or six when many of us learn to share, to have empathy, to put others before ourselves, to have genuine compassion. Then there are those trying to be  in complete rule and want complete control  over the the masses – the little dictator-stage of the two-year-old –  and those being controlled want everything for nothing – just like little dependent children.

 A world of toddlers stuck in – “NO NO  NO” –  Three-year-olds – “It’s mine!” –  Six-year-olds “Leave me alone!  – Teenagers – “I will do what I want to! Stay out of my room!”  As a society and as individuals, if  we do not develop properly, we create a world of hell and as individuals we will live in internal hell.

God and an upbringing in the ways of the Bible and Christianity define and create a practice of self-awareness to become responsible, accountable for our actions that leads to an internal mature and developed life. Without this development,  individually we will  live in pain trying to fill the void in ourselves up with things that will not ever spiritual satisfy us. And as a world, we will have what we are seeing in many people now.

It all begins with self and the developmental stages of childhood. this is why the NWO progressive/globalists want control of  our children younger and younger to imprint them with controllable dysfunction even perversion, with lack of boundaries for their use and benefit. A person who stays forever a teenager or young adult with no accountability and responsibility to another, who can’t put others before themselves and have empathy and patience will not be a whole, internally satisfied human being. There will always be the unrest of the four-year-old inside. Sure, there is a positive side to being a child-at- heart then there is a very negative almost demonic side to never maturing properly.  

Nurturing and caring for our inner child and being mature and accountable to others is an internal balance.

‘Acting’ the part isn’t genuinely being or living the part.

Bring a child up in the ways of the Bible. church/God and it will serve him for all of his days.
A tool to assist in awareness DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help.

Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Become aware and heal yourself…

7 Comments

There are many on the internet offering love spells, chakra-healings etc. They offer free readings or cheap readings like for $15 then what they do after setting you up is tell you that you have a curse – you need a chakra balancing – love spell, or work on a past life to change your current one – or your life will not go as you wish, etc. They instill fear in you and that ‘they’ can change all this for money – usually lots of money  for the  hours of ‘work’ they will do, or for the candles, crystals  and other ‘supplies’ they will buy and need to do this ‘work’, etc.  Ask yourself – REALLY?

There are people who are really psychic and intuitive who have the ability to read energy. I am highly intuitive and have had many magical things occur in my lifetime and have had premonitions that occurred etc. And this is all for free. 

When someone claims they can change the energy – your life – or cast a spell that someone will love you – or go back in time and change a past life  to change in that lifetime in order to change the energy in this life – RUN! It’s a con. It’s of evil. It’s alchemy. And it’s for ‘their benefit’ of your giving them large sums of money. Don’t give your power or your money away to these cons.

A real psychic charges  a fair price, but not overly so and definitely not lots. And they will not instill fear or try to instill that if you don’t do this or that – that your life will be cursed or that negative things will occur, etc.

Only you have the power to heal yourself. You can change your energy by your awareness, thoughts, and self-healing – chakra and otherwise. No one can really do this for you. You can do it yourself for free. Jesus healed for free. He didn’t ask that anyone pay him money. He asked only that they believe in him and God the father. In prayer all things are possible and prayer is free.
Only Satanic evil charges for prayer, to cast spells or to do alchemy.  Satan wants you to think that he is in control of your life. Just like  these so-called gypsy fortune-tellers, spell-makers, but only for money that you pay to them. They never offer their services and ‘magical’ abilities for free or for nothing – now, do they? Their con is for the exchange of your money, or goods for their – what? Do they even know? Many of these people say the same or similar things – they have been trained to do this from childhood – schooled in the art and con of others. The person going to them is in fear, has had loss, or are searching, are weak and easily set up for and by the con. I have researched this and can tell the real from the con.  I have also helped expose and get money back from these cons.

Some will even ask – for example: a new washer and dryer to wash the evil out of someone or some issue.  Some will ask you to lease or to buy them a car, so that your life will move forward at a faster pace. These ‘psychic’ cons are self-serving evil.  Anyone offering to cast a spell  on you, or someone else, to bring you money, success, love or whatever – is a con and operating out of the evil of control!

Prayer is free – self-awareness is free and you can do it for yourself. A group of people bonded in prayer in the name of God is powerful. And asking someone to pray for you or someone else – does not cost anything. Energy can be changed – shifted etc. and it doesn’t cost a thing. It’s freely sent from God Almighty.

A tool to assist in awareness is a book I have out – DADDY THROW ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help. My memories will trigger yours, then you can use the process in Part IV for further self-awareness and to process negative emotions and limiting imprints.  Life is magical and there are energies directing us while we are on our journey on earth. Yes, we all trigger one another as we go about our lives, either to heal or to do harm. Become aware and heal yourself.

Do not give large sums of money to some self-serving alchemists who threaten and use fear tactics. Fear is the lowest vibration on earth. and people who use it do so with manipulation and evil intent and for their self-serving benefit. They are fear – mongering takers not givers.

We are all meant to be wherever we are in any given time. We are born into our individual circumstances for our soul’s growth. It’s our astrology – our ancestral lineage, DNA, the time frame and place we are born, etc. And often times, the people who imprint us are who make- up who we are. Until, we become aware – that we can shift and change as we grow. And this all begins with our awareness to do so. It’s up to us and it’s our choice, even as at times, it may not feel like we have choice.  Life is a healing adventure – others assist, but it’s up to you to process, shift, change and become aware. Make sure you are being guided by God –  not evil – so that it may be for your soul’s highest good. 

Inspirational/Spiritual, Media, Politics, Self-help

God/good is freedom Satan/evil is control….

4 Comments

Ever think that Biden respects no one’s boundaries because in addition to his perverted behavior of over-stepping personal boundaries is that in the NWO progressive globalist’s agenda everyone is considered their prey? And also part of the indoctrination into the NWO is that your personal boundaries are crossed making you prone to addictions – sexual perversion and more easily led into more and further perversion. The whole deal is to blur boundaries between you, them and others.  Biden’s behavior reveals how he’s been imprinted. People always behave as they have been imprinted – until they become aware and heal. Biden was/is a blatant alcoholic. There are videos of him during the Obama campaign so drunk that he could barely speak or stand
When something feels and appears creepy – that is usually what it is. Don’t be brainwashed into thinking it’s not. You aren’t crazy for seeing the truth of what something really is and what is really going on. The manipulating, narcissistic sociopaths just want you to feel wrong and crazy – so they can control you.

The NWO considers people their resource to manipulate and do with as they desire – brainwash, control, use – you name it. Just as they want to have control over all land and resources on earth for their exclusive benefit and use. Crossing individual boundaries – sex-trafficking – corruption and perversion of our innocent and helpless youth is just part of their indoctrination into the acceptance of  being manipulated and controlled.  Step by step little by little until, there are no boundaries left – just a blur of the masses into one lump.

Along with the murder of fetuses,  late term abortion and even murder of recently born infants – it all leads to the acceptance that human beings are nothing and should and can be perverted, used, manipulated and even murdered at whim with their organs harvested and bodily fluids used by the so-called self-deemed evil elite.

They are going about it – by their edicts such as  in – ‘The Green New Deal’ blurted out by their bought and paid for by Soros idiot-like scripted Manson-eyed – horse-mouth puppet Chihuahua AOC. She is being used to state it out loud – even in its absurdity – then it will be slowly or as quickly as they can implement by slight of hand – secretively or even blatantly just as fast or as quickly as the brainwashed masses will accept, until it’s forced upon all. As even in its absurdity including the destruction and harm it will create and cause – it’s their ultimate agenda.

The NWO globalist agenda – ‘once referred to as Agenda 21 – now called Agenda 2030’ – is complete control of the planet and all its inhabitants by 2030. Thus, the time frame given of 12 years.  NWO progressive globalists have no regard for human beings, unless it is for their benefit and use. The use of all and everything is meant for a limited few with the rest of humanity considered and treated as slaves of the NWO – which is founded and based in control, manipulation, evil and ultimately destruction – hidden in and behind their false facade  of caring for humanity and under the guise of ‘saving the planet’. This whole agenda will be implemented and coated in the evil intent of control of everything. They are imprinting upon the masses to look to them as the complete authority.
When actually, it’s God who is in control – not some group of self-serving humans on earth. But as the story goes. even from the very beginning – Satan ‘thinks’ he is more important, in control and powerful than God. The dark has intent, goal and agenda to block then destroy the light. Satan/Evil is about control. God/Good is about freedom.

It’s the wise, aware, able to process, in control of their emotions which gives them the ability to discern truth behind the agenda-presented facade that will save this world from the evil agenda of the Satanic intent of the NWO globalists.

Look at how Christians are being murdered around the world. But America – the land of the free –  is ‘supposed’ to allow in and tolerate Islam, etc. which is the opposite of Christianity. Islam is a ‘political practice’ about control of every aspect of everyone’s life and if not adhered to – then there is extreme and inhumane punishment, execution and slaughter – just as the NWO globalists are looking to implement.  America has allowed those of this practice into our governmental systems and look at the nasty things coming out of their mouths concerning Jews, our President, etc. They are out to destroy the American way of life and put it under their control of perversion and evil.

The media is being used to encourage & foster psychopathic behavior in otherwise normal people. They are manipulating otherwise decent people to emulate psychopathic traits & view these traits as the norm. The entertainment industry is filled with this message. Example: Lady GaGa paraded around in a dress made of animal flesh that sends out a message to millions of young impressionable minds that they are just a hunk of meat. This is not by accident. This is not ‘art.’  Look at Miley Cyrus and her nudity and wrecking ball display – then Beyonce’s lyrics, costumes and gyrations – to name just a few of the display of perversion. Psychopathic individuals behind the scenes in music & entertainment are slowly altering psychology in order to dehumanize, so that the day comes to replace freewill,  human spirit &  your soul with a microchip, you’ll accept it, as you will have been conditioned to view your humanity as just soulless meat. Look at the fashion industry, pornography, etc. The aim of the trans-humanist movement is to remove consciousness from the Earth except from a ‘privileged’ few.

We are living in the age of Leviathan – the devil deriving from the ocean that puts a fog around the over-abundant – coming at you fast information – making it difficult to discern what is lie and what is truth.

A world where lie is deemed truth and truth is deemed lie is a world turned upside down and steeped in evil intent and destruction.

A vital stage of their agenda is to create a bond between machines & humans. Technology distances you from your humanity. The people behind this agenda want to take away choice & freedom –  in order, to rule over Earth and all its inhabitants.  Example Facebook: ‘supposedly’ created to bring people together for community – appears a noble endeavor and purpose – except that personal information and identification are being used for product advertisement. They implement infiltration and brainwashing by censorship for their political NWO progressive globalist agenda of control. When you are on FB – you are under their control and surveillance.

When you turn and accept others as your authority other than self – you will easily be manipulated and led astray.

Become aware and full of your humanity – feel all of your God-given emotions. They are your God- given guidance system and the key as to what is real and what is not – what is good and what is of the dark. Evil does not want us to see truth. Evil is the master of illusion. Narcissists/sociopaths/ psychopaths want us all under their control surrounded, manipulated and controlled by their facade of lies.

The way to the freedom of the light is to feel and process the negative emotions, in order to have the ability to allow in the light of peace, love and joy. The negative emotions of fear, insecurity, anger, hate, anxiety, etc. must be processed, so that you can arrive back at peace, love and joy!
It’s clear that many in the masses are stuck in pain, negative emotions, even being out of control in their emotions – leading to addictions and harmful behaviors to self, others and out into the world. This is what the NWO progressive globalist, narcissists want  and are counting on – that the masses will be imprinted by the media, the entertainment arenas, the corrupted educational systems, the agenda of the corrupted control of gov. to be stuck in neediness, fear, addictions, with inability to think or discern, full of perversion and self- destruction with their individual boundaries breached. This is the way to all levels of control – crossing boundaries  – that way people are easy to manipulate – creating a need to rely on and look to the government for guidance concerning everything in their lives – even to worshiping the government as their Lord and Savior instead of God. God and Christ are threats to the agenda of control and evil. Evil wants people to be in a distortion of their humanity and in fear. God wants people aware, whole and in joy!

They are flooding our borders with needy easy to manipulate foreigners with promises of stuff and some who are part of  their agenda of evil and destruction – for votes to further implement their  plan. They want America over run with world power, sovereignty, financial power, Constitution, rights and freedoms destroyed. They want God and Christ out of our country. They want to take away our position as the hope and light of the world because America is in their way of completing the NWO agenda which is the enslavement of every man, woman and child on earth.

Free thinking and aware people look to the God of light and choice for their guidance – they process emotions – have healthy boundaries, both physically and emotionally – know right from wrong – truth from lie – real from conning bullshit.  They live morally with standards and manners. They take care of their body, mind and spirit. 

A tool for healing:
DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help on Amazon, etc. come into awareness – process your negative, limiting imprints, emotions and beliefs – so you are able to see, process and think clearly – with body, mind and soul fully intact and connected. Live free!

Family, Health/Beauty, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Women In Real Life

The story of Echo and Narcissus…. What is narcissism actually?

7 Comments

Do you use this much over-used word of the day to accuse/insult even categorize others  whom you view as having certain traits? In Greek Mythology –  which is where this personality disorder of Narcissism derives. The story goes – that there was a wood nymph named Echo who loved to talk. For some reason, she displeased the gods, so they put a curse on her  which was she was only  able to repeat  what she heard – repeat that which others said to her, back to them.

Echo was in love with a young warrior named Narcissus – who also displeased the gods – so they put a curse on him –   which was – that when he was looking into a lake, he would fall in love with his own reflection – and be able to love no one else but his image.   Who knows what these two did to displease the gods- but the gods back then seemed to be easily displeased and also curse happy.

Hence the personality ‘disorder’ of Narcissism began and was created. BUT did you notice and realize that Narcissus fell in love with his ‘image’ – not who he really was – BIG DIFFERENCE! Then as the story goes, Echo who loved Narcissus couldn’t let him know that she loved him because she could only repeat what he said back to her. Therefore, Narcissus never knew how much Echo loved him. Therefore, Narcissist was doomed to love only the image that the world saw of him – he couldn’t really love himself or Echo or feel love from others. He lived a life obsessed with his ‘image.’   Not the way he actually looked or was, but the ‘image’ that he created and was seen by the world. His image was everything to him because he could not genuinely see, understand or love self.  Narcissus means numbness in Greek. He was empty/numb inside  with no true feelings and only about his image. He had no ability to genuinely feel – internally he was void – so he ‘acted’ what he thought was appropriate by observing others.

Echo loved him, but had no way to let him know – therefore, Narcissus could feel no love or emotion  from her. Two truly cursed people. Since relationships are our biggest teachers – these two were stuck in being alone and unable to relate. They were emotionally numb and void.

Narcissism is not about taking selfies or focusing on looks, but that could be one  minor trait. Narcissists more often than not do not like their looks or their self – especially their inner self –  they are all about ‘image’. They are emotionally numb, empty and lost souls.

Narcissism is an inability to feel empathy –  being all about the wants needs of self for their self-image – the image that they create for the world to see –  not caring, giving to, or thinking much about anyone else, unless they can enhance or add to their image. It’s an empty internal existence. It’s an existence all about ‘me, myself & I’ – full of emptiness and, or pain – they often fall into narcissistic depression.

The Narcissistic Relationship

It’s easy to fall in love with narcissists. Don’t judge yourself for succumbing because research shows that strangers’ initial impressions of narcissists for the first seven meetings are positive. They’re seen as charming, agreeable, confident, open, well-adjusted and entertaining. Their alluring performance is designed to win trust and love, implicitly promising that their attentiveness will continue. Only later, did the research subjects see through the narcissists’ likable façade. Covert narcissists are even more disarming – because their outward image is that of kind, caring, helpful and without the usual grandiose narcissist displays – they are more subtle and obviously ‘covert’. They can quickly pull on their target’s heart strings of caring for, and protection of.

Difficulties and conflict arise in longer narcissistic relationships. At home, narcissists may privately denigrate the person they were just publicly entertaining, and after a romantic prelude, they act totally different. Once you’re hooked, they lack the motivation to maintain a charismatic façade. As the excitement of romance wanes, narcissists become disappointed in their partner. Their criticisms escalate and they may act distant and dismissive. The relationship revolves around the narcissist, while others are viewed merely as objects to use in order to manage the narcissist’s needs and fragile even empty self-esteem. Embarrassed partners watch their mate flirt with a cashier, cut to the front of the line, or castigate a clerk or waitress. They must contend with demands, judgments, and self-centeredness. They’re expected to appreciate the narcissist’s specialness, meet his or her needs for admiration, service, love, or purchases when needed — and are dismissed when they don’t.

Narcissists put themselves first, and their codependent partners concur. Both agree that the narcissist is great and that his or her mate isn’t as great and should sacrifice! This makes their relationship work … in the beginning that is. Eventually, the partner feels drained, hurt, resentful, disrespected, and lonely.

The children and partners of narcissists share Echo’s experience of feeling rejected, invisible and unheard. They long to be seen, to have their needs met, and their love returned. Many partners of narcissists sadly pine away for years longing to feel respected, important, appreciated, and cared about. Their self-esteem suffers over time. They risk turning into empty shells of their former selves. Narcissists suffer, too, because they’re never satisfied. Even though Narcissus and Echo both long for love, Narcissus can neither give love, nor receive the love Echo offers.

If you can’t feel emotions, you are the walking dead, trying to fit in as a human, but actually are a walking zombie.

Learn how to identify and process your feelings, emotions, imprints and beliefs. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other usual places.

EXPLOSIONS, Health, Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Life is drama! Drama is life!

7 Comments

“I don’t want any drama in my life.” This blind and mostly idiotic statement is often used by people who want to minimize their partner’s legitimate concerns – or who are uncomfortable – even fearful of addressing and expressing their own emotions and feelings. Perhaps, because it is too painful for them to do so. Being thus, they are uncomfortable when observing others express theirs.  While, for example – they watch movies to experience ‘orchestrated’ drama and sports events to experience the highs and lows of winning and losing.

The word ‘drama’ – used in the context of, “I don’t want any drama in my life’ is actually an inappropriate use of this word.

What is drama? In the arts – there are five parts to drama – plot – character – thought/ action – music and spectacle.

In literature, it is comprised of comedy – satyr – and tragedy.

So in life, if you don’t want drama – does that mean, you don’t want passion in sex, excitement and emotion while watching sports, or feelings and emotions while experiencing beautiful or engaging music or art?

Drama comprises everything in life – not just when someone says it’s okay to feel or experience it.

The drama in life is what makes life worth living! It is the humor – tragedy – pain – joy – sadness, happiness, etc. In life, we are meant to experience all emotions  – that is why we have them – as they are triggered by people and life events. Life is  comprised of drama. If you try to avoid the drama then you are avoiding life and ultimately yourself- actually it’s even a kind of denial of your soul.

We are on earth to experience the drama of our feelings and emotions both the so-deemed good and the deemed not so good.  So, if you believe that you don’t want drama in your life – think again.  Do you want a lifeless, emotionless partner? Do you want a lifeless, emotionless life? Along with the good, comes the so-called bad…. when actually, it’s all good – it’s LIFE! The polarity of the ups and downs are what create the tension in life that keeps us energized.

If you are afraid of drama then you are afraid of life and living fully. If you don’t want drama then perhaps, you are afraid  and living in fear of your own feelings and emotions – especially that of feeling your internal pain. You are afraid of feelings – of truly living – to the depths of pain to the highs of joy. If you avoid pain – you will have less, perhaps even little chance of feeling joy.

Oftentimes, those who state, “I want no drama in my life.” Are the ones who actually create the drama in their life and in others. They very well could be passive/ aggressive – as they say and do things to trigger situations and emotional reactions. Then when the situation escalates or the person reacts – they stand back and point their finger away from self – as they state, “Look at how dramatic you are. I don’t want drama in my life.” Then they turn away – thinking they are superior in some way, since they don’t want and don’t think they have drama in their lives. When actually, it’s out of their denial that created the drama in the first place, but they want/will take no responsibility for their words or actions – the very words or actions that created the drama. They project their need for drama onto others to be acted out before them – since and because they can’t acknowledge it in self, or they have a deep fear of expressing their own feelings and emotions. So, if you have lots of drama in your life and don’t like it – how about looking at yourself to understand why.

It could be that their family of origin didn’t share personal feelings and if this person did, they were criticized for having them, told they were wrong, or even ignored and negated. Therefore, they  shut down and learned to related in a stunted and toxic manner- creating and projecting drama onto others – while stating that they don’t want it.

People like this are full of suppressed feelings and emotion –  they are stunted, stuck and may not have been taught by example or otherwise, how to express and process their internal feelings and emotions. They are fearful to walk into their own pain – so they try to keep it outside themselves.  But to live fully and gloriously – you will experience all the levels of drama. It’s the motor that keeps life alive and worth living. Of course, there is a spectrum of drama – so it’s all about living in balance. So for God’s sake – for your sake – live – feel – emote as appropriate – live in the truth and freedom of your emotional and intellectual self, so you will not be tempted to stunt yourself with addictions.  So, you will not harm yourself and others – so you will live free and at choice.

DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR -memoir/self-help – available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all the usual online places. In Part Four are tools to assist the reader in finding and identifying their feelings and  emotions then explains a way to process and release the negative beliefs and limiting imprints. Release the negative so you can experience it all – facing the pain can burst you open to joy. It’s the divine process of really living and genuinely feeling so you can arrive back at peace, love, and joy!

Adventure, EXPLOSIONS, Fun, Health, Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Those moments and times of perfection…

6 Comments

…how  wonderful and fleeting they are. You know those moments and times when the house is clean – all errands done – everything is calm and peaceful in your world as you sit in bed sipping iced coffee in calm – talking to loved ones – etc.  Or cooking, as you  create a meal for those whom you love while sipping wine – sharing and talking . Or after a vigorous workout when your physical, mental, and emotional bodies are drained and cleansed  with endorphins flowing. Or after making love to the person you love laying peacefully together. – eyes meeting – skin touching breathing in sync.  Or watching a sunset – walking beside the ocean as the waves pull in and out.  Sliding into clean fresh sheets after a long day or getting out of a warm shower – wrapping a big soft towel around you – all clean and relaxed. It’s peace. It’s calm. It’s goodness, happiness and  complete joy all wrapped into one! It’s Heaven on earth. These are some of the kind of moments that  are perfection to me.

We all have our variations of the perfect moments in time.  Those moments that ‘still us’ into what it means to be truly happy, peaceful and content. Those moments for the most of us have to do with people – the giving, loving and sharing, our communication of self and gifts of self to others.

Then the world shifts – something breaks – the car – the dishwasher – there are more errands to do – things to clean and wash – irritating even horrible news about something happening in the world, a tooth aches, tummy hurts  and the moments and time of perfection  seem to fade way even to cease – as a seemingly irritating kind of hell emerges –  as we do what is needed to  try to make our way back to that place of peaceful wonderful.

We live on a planet of dualities – good and evil – nothing stays the same – it shifts and moves from pleasant to troubling – perfection to irritating – it always has and always will. And realize it or not – this is a positive thing – this shifting and changing from peace to turmoil is what keeps us striving for more of the perfection of the peaceful good. Striving for the good – those moments in time of perfection – can be a wonderful stimulus for experience, learning, growth and change. So actually, it’s all good – all  in the perfection of God’s earth. Therefore, love your peaceful perfection as well as  the perfection of your irritating, struggle, challenging and striving turmoil. I know and  well understand, easy to say when all is well, and not so easy when all is out of whack and in turmoil. Never the less, try to recall  and know – because this too soon will pass — Our perfect moments help us to keep on going through the irritations, pain – hell. And our challenging times help us to be grateful for the times when we are in joy and bliss – our individual Heaven on earth.

It’s all as God planned it – just for you. It’s why we are here on earth.  A book to read for awareness, processing and healing as we travel through this challenging and wonderful life. It’s available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble – all the usual places and also available on the front of this site.

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1532879066&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air 

Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Uncategorized, Women In Real Life

The Grass Is Greener….

17 Comments

Really? Are you so sure about that? We all have the tendency, at times to think the grass is greener in someone else’s life or that if we could only have this, do that, achieve thus and so – then our life would be wonderful and we will have ‘arrived’! Really? Arrived – where?  Anywhere you go – there you will be. And do you really think having that car, purse, or dress, etc. will change who you are or make a difference in who you are or how you feel about yourself – for long? Whatever you put on your body – you are still yourself inside.

Have you ever envied someone else’s life, only to realize when you get to know them  –  Whoa! I am so glad I am me and not them.

Appreciating who you are, where you are and what you have is the greatest awareness. It’s called acceptance, peace, happiness and inner joy.  It’s called  being in the moment – being in present time – and that is  the real gift – the ‘present’.  You are where you are in any given time for a divine purpose and reason. It’s your life in that moment of time to fully feel and to enjoy.

This does not mean that you stop trying to achieve, grow, do and have, but that you be in the moment, satisfied and appreciating of all that you have and where you are in that particular time – in the now.  Life can always change for the good, or for the worst – in an instant. If you aren’t able to experience the joy in and of the moment then you will not be able to feel fully satiated no matter what you have, do or gain – you will always feel lack. longing and wanting of more or something else to try and fill up the empty hole that you have inside yourself.  You will always be thinking the ‘grass is greener’. A person who does this is not able to settle into peace with self.

Things don’t give you peace. Things don’t/won’t fulfill you for long – they will always leave you wanting for more, different or newer.

Someone who can’t feel settled in self is always thinking that the ‘grass is greener’.  That there is something out there somewhere that they need, just must have in order to feel ‘okay’, or better about themselves. They can’t, – are unable to settle into peace, appreciation and joy because they are too busy being on the prowl looking for something else to fill them up.

Not being able to settle in self may  actually cause them to  lose all that they do have  – to be lost – never to be realized again.  As in a man who cheats on their spouse, ‘thinking’ the pretty little thing that caught their eye is what they ‘must’ have to feel happy and content,  only to lose everything that means any and everything in the world to them – then to realize  that pretty little thing is nothing much at all – just a momentary shiny new thing.

Those who  are always looking for the next shiny thing – end up going through lots of tinsel… without  ever holding onto  or having a real diamond in their hands for long –  because they may drop the diamond to chase the tinsel.

Those who think the ‘grass is greener’ have  little to no balance in their lives.  They are in a pattern of dismissing & diminishing what it is that they do have – no matter how great it actually may be. – they can’t see or appreciate it  because they are always on the search &   looking for more, next, another, or what they ‘think’ is  ‘better’ to fill up their empty soul. They do this because of their dissatisfaction with self.

Joy happens when you can appreciate and live in the moment. Joy is the awareness of the moment  and being in appreciation for all that you have – that what God has placed before you is yours – it’s your perfect place to be!

Did you ever stop to think that while you are thinking the ‘grass is greener’ that someone is looking at you – your life – your wife – your house – etc. and thinking the ‘grass is greener’ where you are?

Your life is ‘your’ gift from God – whatever – where ever – it may be or is. It’s yours. So appreciate the good and the bad – because it’s  all yours.

How about stating in this moment – I approve of myself. I am all that I ever thought I would or could be in this very moment.  I am blessed. Thank you God for all that I am, all that I have, all the lessons, all the trials, all the awareness, all that I have become and all that I will be.  If you can’t/don’t appreciate the moment without the wanting, even yearning for more – you will never experience contentment, peace and joy.

Then carry  forward  from that point – creating, learning, etc, while  making sure to appreciate what you are  and have in the now,  the people in your life etc. in this time frame.

For awareness … DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help 

on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and all the other usual places.

You were born  and placed exactly where you were meant to be. Your circumstances and experiences are perfect for you and who you are meant to become. It’s up to you to either break against or immerse yourself  – change – grow or become more – most importantly to become more aware. It’s your  life. This moment is yours! Be aware and be in joy!

https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529383520&sr=8-1&keywords=Daddy+throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch   

EXPLOSIONS, Health, Inspirational/Spiritual, Self-help, Women In Real Life

Two-faced, smile to your face, talk about you behind your back…

11 Comments

Polite and nice to money. Rude otherwise and looks down upon, even shows disdain for those with less than, or in poverty.  Judges people by their car, house, clothes, etc.  instead of their character. They don’t even know what ‘character’ is  because they have none – so they can’t recognize it in others. Will do anything – lie, cheat, steal to achieve the image, position or appearance of control or power over others. Mistakes having power and things as greatness.

Say one thing then  they do another. Say words or act in ways to manipulate for their use or gain. Nice, courteous and kind to people when selling something – be it a service or a product but uncaring, dismissive even rude otherwise. try to extract value for self from people, places and things with no regard to what they might do to harm.

Men who tell  lies to get a woman into bed. Women who flirt and compliment to make an oaf feel like a king for her gain – doing so, only to manipulate and with ill-intent instead of worthy intentions.

I have observed and become more aware of  this kind of behavior in our world today. This is why, in my opinion there is so much depression, anxiety, addiction, harm to self and others. There is a lack of respect for our fellowman and  ultimately ourselves.

I am otherwise, I was taught otherwise and choose to live otherwise. My words and behaviors reveal who I am, not only to others but to myself.  My word is my honor and my bond. I can be counted on to do what I say, or I don’t say it. So many people these days cannot be counted on for anything much less their word.

What I do in private, matters as much as what I do in public. Of course, I have been known to say what I think – which means, I don’t lie to myself or others.  There are  these concepts called – truth – honesty –  responsibility and accountability.

I try to live by the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Do I lose it at times and mess up? Of course! But this serves me also,  to become more aware of my behaviors and how they may affect others including myself. It’s called ‘self-reflection’ and ‘self-awareness’. We won’t grow, if we don’t have both in our emotional and mental selves.

If we are not becoming more aware in our lives, then what is it we are actually doing? Accumulating stuff – screwing as many people as we can – and on multiple levels –  taking  instead of giving? Look into the eyes of people who have done this in their life even for their entire lives with little to no awareness.  Oh, then of course, some know exactly what they are doing and these are the evil ones. And these people  have dead eyes which reflect their internal selves

Look at the eyes and faces of the Clintons – they are perfect examples. Bill is only 71 and he looks as if he is 171. 

Today so many seem to live by the motto – ‘Screw others before they screw me’.  They will say  or promise thus and so and if they are lying or change their mind and it inconveniences or harms another — so what? Their motto is –  ‘It’s ‘me’ that matters, not them’. What value can I extract from another. They are all about self and this is why they are so internally twisted and unhappy, seeking any and every thing to numb out their torment and misery.

We have become in many ways a selfish, narcissistic society. And that is why so many are unhappy, turn to drugs, alcohol, stuff their selves with food, buy too many things, sit on the sofa watching TV or playing computer games, watching porn, having sex with people only for sex, stare at their phones – texting or surfing the internet even when in the company of others.  Living behind a facade of cars, clothes, fitness routines  – so concerned with ‘image’ – they forget  their internal/eternal self – when reality is – nothing is fit or right about them. Or  they may live in a fat, unkempt body, wearing ill-fitting sloppy clothing, lazy and slovenly  while, thinking nothing matters,  including their appearance, while being envious even hating those who appear they are ‘really together’ – but  who inside may be also dying.

There is a concept called balance – both  inside and outside. The inside will reflect on the outside in some manner or form.

Those who indulge in these behaviors ‘think’ they are putting something over on everyone  else, but what they are really doing is harming themselves, even going as far as to be rotting their soul. Who – they are conning – is themselves. They are choosing to live by no standards, disaplines or morals, but that of self-gratification and all this does is to make a person selfish, self-centered, internally alone, even though they may be surrounded by others – bloated and fat – possibly catch STDS for having sex with many – and because of selfish self-indulgences  they lose their ability to love and care for others and therefore, lose their own individual humanity, just for the purpose  and sake of their momentary attainment and  pleasure of fake power and things. Image is actually nothing. It’s the internal reality that matters.

When you are true to yourself is when you will be true to others. and this has to do with integrity in body, mind and spirit and this comes from continual awareness of self as it relates to others and your relationship with yourself. Self -awareness and self-reflection are keys to happiness.

A book to assist in awareness:

 https://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Throws-Air-Ayn-Dillard/dp/1619848031/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1528307660&sr=1-1&keywords=Daddy+Throws+me+in+the+air&dpID=41Ym6dKOKtL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch