Category Archives: Sex

EXPLOSIONS, Health, Health/Beauty, Inspirational/Spiritual, Media, Public Service Message For Women, Self-help, Sex, Women In Real Life

Do you believe what they are ‘selling’ …

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or yourself?
Snake oil salesman, influencers – so-called entertainment ‘stars’ – media – advertisers – advertising – advertising – advertising – repeat – repeat – repeat – make them like you – make them ‘think’ you know more than they do – that you have some kind of cure – some kind of secret miracle – that you know more than what their instincts tell them – make them ‘think’  that ‘it’, some product, diet, cream, serum, medicine – be it medical or homeopathic – some shampoo or something else – and then get paid for promoting and marketing it.

Get ‘them’ – the ‘masses’ to ‘like’ and trust you – so they will follow you, buy and do as you direct. You will lead them where you want them to go and have them buying what you tell them to – you will have them eating out of your hands – you will be an influencer and get paid for being so.

Teenagers are usually the quickest to follow their pack or peers – they are searching to rebel against any authority over them and to break away, try new things and this, of course can be positive and worthwhile, but it can also lead them on a journey to into hell. They ‘think’ they are  being rebelliously unique as they are being manipulated to become as a brainwashed flock and to gravitate to the same things.

Some things are tried and true – others not so much. They are only a whim or the latest fad – but influencers model, that if it works for them, or even some, it will work for others.  The slogan, “If I can do it, you can do it, too.” – is their call to arms. The  so-called’ influencers are ‘used’ to promote products, lifestyle choices, perfumes, clothing lines, diets – what to eat – how to live – what to buy – what not to eat and more.  Just take the product of Coke and the ‘so-deemed’ energy drinks – these things literally destroy your body, but people buy them en masse only because of false and repetitive promotion, to be/feel cool and ‘to be like all the rest’.  the call to be like all the rest – to be like others – to think if you are different or don’t have, or do what others have – is a powerful motivator for those who can’t think or choose for themselves.

As a young ballet dancer, even at the age of 12 – as that is when I auditioned and was selected as the youngest at that time to be chosen to dance in the corps d’ ballet of a professional company.  I  became obsessed with my weight – along with my energy level. I was going through puberty, so my body was changing and my fluid retention would shift as my hormones fluctuated – a normal and healthy part of maturation.

I write about this time, in my book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR –  in the memory – “You’re too fat – No, You’re too Skinny!”  It was my quest to have the perfect body, even at the age of 12 years-old when I was still growing and changing.

I read everything I could find on nutrition – vitamins, etc. I didn’t realize it then, but I was using my body as a laboratory. I would eat only protein and get very lean, but had little energy. A times, I would starve myself. I would eat Fritos dipped in peanut butter – then eat only grilled cheese sandwiches. I observed how my body reacted as I tried different combinations. As a professionally trained dancer,  I was fortunate to be be given the gift and choice of complete body awareness.  A ballet dancer’s core is from where her strength and movement derive. So, I became ahead of the fitness game, even as a child – and way before most of the world was into it.  I knew the feeling of being completely physically integrated and knew how great it felt. I was into fitness, nutrition, health, etc. before most the rest of the world  had even thought about it. When I was growing up, I never saw a fat person – perhaps, a pudgy child, but compared to what I see today, they would be considered thin.  Food stuffs were filled with less chemicals, hormones, etc. Everything was more natural – even so-called ‘junk food’ tasted like real food as compared to now – as now, it tastes plastic, chemical & fake – not like food at all.

My mother prepared most of our meals  – which were most always a balance of meat, vegetables and a starch. We rarely, if ever had desserts or bread, as in dinner rolls, etc. We only had desserts as in a homemade pie or cake on birthdays or holidays. Sure, we had homemade cookies on occasion and popcorn and very occasionally potato chips. When as a family, we went out to dinner, it was to very nice restaurants – individually owned and, oftentimes we knew the owners – the food was fresh.

People weren’t sick. No one that I knew was was sick – except for an occasional cold, but hardly even that. I knew no sick children and none who took medications for learning, behavior disorders or anything else. We were are pretty much well-behaved.  No one that I knew took anything more than an occasional aspirin – if that.

As fast food came upon the horizon – as in pizza, etc. We tried it and liked it. Only the pizza then was freshly made with fresh ingredients.

Soon other fast-food choices made their entry onto the eating horizon – fried chicken, hamburgers, tacos. I would indulge in this fare – say once a week or less – just kinda going along with my group of friends. I was always into vitamins and took them when others thought they were nonsense. And after all my research, I knew this fast-food-thing with their little buildings popping up with their drive through windows all over the place – could not be good for the human body.

Now, what I see appalls me.  I see overly fat people everywhere. People who have little to no body awareness and certainly don’t feel or operate from their core. And we are not supposed to even notice they are fat, but to accept them as such, so as to not hurt their feelings.

Everything has become an orchestrated distortion. Less fitness over-all, while it’s being pushed and marketed. Less nutrition, while we have more so-deemed nutritional products and services. Many diets saying even taunting us to eat this and not that –  pay us money and you will lose weight – all these specialized foods that taste like yuck! Less activity, while it’s being lauded – more fat  and unfit people, but we are not supposed to shame or even notice them.

And then the sexual confusion being promoted to confuse our youth is off the charts perversion.  Sexualization of our children is of evil and perverse.  With some promoting little boys become girls and little girls become boys – naming them opposite sex names and dressing them as such.  So that, they begin their lives in sexual confusion. It’s vile and repugnant.  Only by these so-deemed influencers, we as a society are being led to accept that which we once found abhorrent as the norm. It’s promoted as leading edge — ‘design your child’s sex’.

So the questions are –  ‘Do you follow others or yourself? Do you follow your God-given instincts and what is moral and psychologically sound, or do you believe and make choices because, or based on something some entertainer does, says, or tells you to do, or to think, buy or live as, and that includes some self-serving ‘religious-type’, making millions off spewing their interpretation of the Bible?

Your connection to God – to yourself – to your body – to your psychological well-being – your moral and emotional health is personal between you and God – it’s not between you and anyone else and it costs nothing, but your time in reading, prayer, awareness and self-reflection.

Eating a pear cost less than eating a Big Mac with fries and is abundantly better for you. Natural and pure is better – less is more. Sex is between those committed in love.


Freedom and choice is of God/good.  Control, no choice, being in bondage to ‘addictions, chemicals, government/entertainers, media, sexual perversions’ are evil/Satanic.
We are in the world, not of it – therefore, be discerning, instead of in bondage to any person, thing or earthly/material belief.

0-7 are the most impressionable & formative years for a human being – so what a child sees, hears and feels at this time are very important to its well-being or not – creating their view of self and of the world. We must shield/protect our children from overt sexuality, violence, & pathology, along with rank so-called entertainment as well as we are able to.
Just as you can inherit your appearance and health, be it good or bad from your ancestors and lineage, you can be imprinted by their beliefs, either negative or positive that will guide your choices and ultimately your life. You will be imprinted and influenced by your parents, caretakers. societal imprints and beliefs and the world that you grow up in, until you become aware. You can change and better your appearance, learn skills, educate yourself, change your health factors by self-care, and you can also change your limiting imprints and negative beliefs entangled in your memories by becoming aware. A tool to assist DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, etc. and by contacting me.

Dating, Health, Inspirational/Spiritual, Love, Men, Public Service Message For Women, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Sex, Women, Women In Real Life

Love is for the brave, not the weak. What is genuine love?

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It’s hard to love someone through the ups and downs, the good, bad and ugly and that is why commitment is required. It’s difficult and makes one feel vulnerable to allow someone to see all sides, the dark, the bad, the fears, etc. instead of only the good, the better, the ‘image’, etc.  – that is why commitment is important, even required.
When things get hard, it’s easy to exit and be onto someone who will see you with fresh eyes and that you can fool for awhile into thinking that you are such a good, nice, kind, successful person, etc. – whatever your persona or whichever way it is that you ‘need’ to view yourself and, or to be viewed to feel ‘okay’ about yourself and to keep your image in tact.

Some weak, insecure people can’t/don’t genuinely love and commit because they are fearful of their wounds, their weaknesses being revealed and seen because they then would need to address, heal and correct them to become more whole, in order to feel that they are worthy to self and another. As long as they can keep those things hidden and what they ‘think’ is out of sight, they ‘feel’ that they are ‘okay’ – when they really aren’t. Facing your wounds, your issues can be painful and it’s the brave who do so. Love is for the brave, not the weak.

The challenge of the love relationship and life is when others see who you really are and when you see who they really are – all their different sides and you still love one another through thick and thin.  That is what love is – that is what commitment is. That is why the vows of marriage are as they are – for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, good times and not so good, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, along with ‘let no one put asunder’.

It’s easy to love when everything is perfect – not so easy when it isn’t, but the genuine enduring fulfillment comes when a couple goes through the thick and thin of life together.  Vows of a love relationship are not – ‘I will love you, until I see that you aren’t perfect, we have troubles, or you get sick, or  when you might see the real me and leave me.’

The benefit of love is that it challenges both individuals to become their best, to heal their wounds, address their issues, by rubbing their souls against one another for the benefit of both. Love is the most clear and profound mirror you will ever have.
There are some fatal flaws that which are if an individual is too weak or ignorant to address and that another can’t abide, until awareness, healing and change occurs  – as in cheating, addictions, or abuse, etc. 

Only if you tell someone that you love them, but can’t love them through their worse place, time or situation, or when they behave their worst, then what is your love worth? Not much. The times when people behave their worst is when they need love the most. Actually, it may be a cry out for love. Sometimes, it might need to be tough love.
Relationship is ultimately for healing of the individual soul and also together as the whole – a commitment of support, care and nurturing. It’s not for sucking off the good times, the sexual energy, the beauty, the allure, the excitement as in the beginning of romance, or the success, or exploitation of everything you can get, until or before you are seen for who and what you are – then off you go to find fresh prey.  Love is for giving, not what you can get. It’s a circle of giving and receiving – not always equal at times, but it will work out for the well-being of both in the long range, when and if both are committed.

Love is not for quitters, losers, the weak, or fair-weather friends. It’s for the winners, healers, tenacious, aware, strong, brave, etc,   It’s not a sprint. It’s a long distance run.  It’s the most genuine fulfilling place on earth to be and the only thing that lasts through eternity. People in love, oftentimes live longer and stay in better health. And the glow and commitment that can be seen in the faces and energy of those who have made this journey together are palatable as it’s an energy that emits a glow that heals not only themselves, but others and out into the world.

Tools to assist in awareness with opportunity for healing – DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. Male/female the most powerful connection/attraction on earth – created differently for respective individual purposes, but equal.

Dating, EXPLOSIONS, Family, Friendship, Health, Inspirational, Love, Men, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Sex, Women, Women In Real Life

Can insecure fearful people…

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love another for genuine reasons?

Insecure fearful people are overly focused on self and what they lack and what they are trying to gain in order to feel better about themselves. So can they genuinely care for or love another? They are most always looking to fill themselves up in some way, instead of giving to another and to, at times be able to fill another up.
Love is about what you give, not what you take.When an insecure fearful person does give, they most always have a need, even must feel like they have some kind of gain or reward in it for themselves, or it isn’t worth it to them.  When, or if an insecure taker does give, they are more concerned that others see what they did and that they get approval and applause for their giving, rather than to be focused on just the pure pleasure of giving to another. Their innate insecurity creates an inner need to make everything about themselves. Many times, their insecurity leads them to be controlling of others.

Momentary pleasure with a temporary feeling of security are only when they gain something or feel good about themselves – so they can pat their needy little selves on the back.  They suck off the energy of others to get through their miserably dark and lacking life, instead of dealing with their inner turmoil, issues and feelings of insecurity. They may even appear egotistical in their words and behaviors to cover-up for their innate insecurity.

They attract to beauty, money, success, status and things that they ‘think’ will rub off on them and give them a brighter facade or image – in order to build up their insecure ego. 

In a love relationship – there will be a circle of giving and receiving and at times, one may need more than the other because of life circumstances, etc. – but when, or if one begins to feel drained, used and taken for granted – in ‘aware’ love, the other will sense this and connect with them in comforting love – as in hugging, touching, nurturing, or a look in the eyes. But an insecure, needy, self-serving, selfish person will rarely if ever recognize need or lack in another, unless, it serves their self-interest to do so – as in they will gain attention, prestige, sex, gifts, money, or reward of some sort, etc.

Example: in relationship – you can handle their moods and issues, but they can’t handle yours. And not only that, they ‘expect’ you to handle theirs, and will feel put upon whenever there is a need for them to handle your emotions or moods.
Think the woman who can’t stand it when her husband shows weakness in some area – or the man who negates his tired wife’s need for rest and attention. These people are so overly about having their own needs met through the other, than to truly care for and love the other – with little ability to see, recognize the other person as separate, with their own issues, needs and pain.

If your well-being is overly tied to your partner, you will be internally that of a needy child.
On the flip side, if your partner can’t have a melt down with your support  and understanding then you are not  being there for them – but are there only for your selfish-self and childish needs.  If you expect your partner to be perfect in your eyes and out in the world at all times – think of the pressure you are putting on them. Relationship is a place where you can rest and be rejuvenated, to feel and  know that you will be comforted and cared for when you are not at your best.  It is a place to sustain you when you are down and to lift you up.

If you are too insecure and weak to face your issues and pain, you will deflect and project them onto another – trying to make something wrong about them, in order to make yourself feel better about you. 

Love is a combination of acceptance of another, while having self- awareness and growth at the same time.

There are individual fatal flaws that make relationship impossible as in – cheating, addictions, lack of genuine commitment, need to escape at any sign of stress or conflict, inability to have empathy as in seeing your partner’s side of the situation with understanding. If a person is addicted to anything then their relationship is with the addiction instead of their partner –  that addiction may be alcohol, drugs, food, TV, porn, parental approval whether parent be dead or alive, and material things such as collections, etc.
Relationship is for giving, receiving and ultimately healing and growth both individually and together to equal balance in self and in one another. It takes much self-awareness and a mature openness in both  individuals to merge with another in genuine love and commitment. Otherwise, it’s just playing, like a child does and becomes a game to see who can take and get their needs met in spite of the  needs of the other.

In today’s world, there is much narcissism, selfishness, materialism, self-centeredness, lack of commitment, immorality, inability to self-reflect, lack of ability to look at self in genuine awareness. And because of this lack there are many unhappy, depressed, anxiety-ridden, addicted even tormented people. Immaturity is rampant. Accountability and responsibility are lacking.

There is no relationship without accountability and responsibility. It’s about commitment to self in awareness and growth as well as commitment to one another. This is what makes relationship so rich, worthwhile and life worth living.

In relationship is where you learn about yourself  in ‘relation’ to another human being with the ability to become more and this is even in casual daily passing relationships. Only ultimately and more importantly, it is intensely experienced in the love relationship. You were attracted to another and brought together for a reason and purpose. If you shut down, runaway or escape when it gets difficult or becomes real, you are not only harming your partner but ultimately yourself.

When commitment, accountability and responsibility are negated, put down, diminished, dismissed, ignored and escaped from in our individual lives, we are creating  a distorted, fractured, weak immoral society and  world – wherein self-pleasure, selfishness and self- centeredness rule and ultimately there is much self misery.

Books to assist in awareness and growth DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart – Both available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. in e-book and soft cover.

Dating, EXPLOSIONS, Inspirational/Spiritual, Love, Men, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Sex, Spiritual, Women, Women In Real Life

Extreme feminism is toxic …

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Extreme feminism is destroying romantic love along with limiting, perhaps even destroying the balancing of male/female energies on earth. God created male and female  – the perfect complement to one another – the most powerful connect/attraction on earth.  Satan/evil is trying to disrupt and destroy this balance.  Deep in a feminine woman’s heart is the need and desire that she feel taken care of by her man.  She has a deep desire to feel supported by him – to feel held up when she is down – to have strong arms to fall into when her storms of life hit – when she feels anxious, uncertain, fearful, overwhelmed, etc.  A feminine woman wants and needs the strong masculine energy.
Male and female energies balance each other – are different yet equal.  Feminine energy is powerful. And when a feminine woman has to/tries to be the man for herself in a relationship; she becomes drained, angry, stressed and feels as if perhaps, she doesn’t need the male energy after all. Some men have become feminine in their energy and women are losing respect for them. The more feminine the men become, the more in her male energy a woman feels she needs to be. Men become frustrated and angry and so do women when this occurs. Women are behaving like men to try to become and feel equal and it’s making them feel many things, instead of equal. And men are losing attraction to these women and even treating them like men. Women and men were always meant to be equal. They are equal by being who they are – who they were created to be by God. Otherwise, it’s destroying feminine power long with weakening the male power and turning it all into a distortion.
Having a strong, masculine man to spend a life with is the most important thing to an innately feminine women who stands in her feminine power. The same is accurate for a masculine man, he desires the power of the divine feminine as his partner. A masculine man makes his woman able to feel like a girl again – able to feel safe and protected.  A masculine man makes a feminine woman feel great in her body. She doesn’t mind giving up the lead because she feels safe and wisely guided.  A woman may be able to make money, be a success in the world, have children without a man,  even fight for herself, but a feminine woman still craves a masculine man. 
    It may feel vulnerable to admit this, since woman have been brainwashed  into thinking that to need, want, even crave the masculine is not being a ‘feminist’. 

Perhaps, women have been conned to, lied to and have been lying to themselves to believe and think that they don’t need a man. Not to survive, or live or that she can’t take care of herself and her own needs, but that she wants to need a man. Not being or feeling ‘needy’, but because the masculine energy lights her up, holds her should she fall and protects her. Nothing is wrong with ‘needing’. We have been brainwashed into thinking that a woman ‘needing’ a man and a man ‘needing’ a woman is wrong or weak. When needing is  innate and natural. It’s actually only the strong who can allow vulnerability  to one another – vulnerable to someone who is worthy of trust.The weak, insecure and defensive can’t/won’t allow vulnerability.
It’s time to stop listening to those trying to orchestrate the male/female connection/attraction out of existence. Being the divine feminine standing in the heart of her power  will both need and desire a man who takes her places, throws her on the bed, who is an enlighten male – operating from the divine masculine energy who guides her/them and leads her/them in life.
We all slip into different roles at times, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. The divine male will listen to the divine feminine and vice versa. It’s normal and natural – as we have both male & female inside ourselves on varying levels and degrees.
       Being a female,  you can feel whether a man is dominant or submissive. In today’s world, signs that a man is of divine masculinity is that he has a strong male energy. He is not afraid to be dominant and to hold his ground, but just this – does not mean that he can’t have well-developed feminine energy too. He’s multi-dimensional – once referred to as a Renaissance man – oh, how terms for things change.
       Okay – dominate –  but how?
Dominate for some men means being a controlling asshole. Or he may be the rare enlightened male – spiritual, but still masculine. This type of man is rare.  Sometimes,  it’s difficult to  tell the level of a man’s masculinity, so here are some clues:
– When among others and socializing,  a man of weak masculinity often talks in a way that puts other people down. Doing this, shows his insecurity but the real reason is that genuinely masculine men are more centered and focused than to put others down directly or indirectly. To do so shows his lack of ability to focus and lack of direction in his own life. Men with a sense of mission who are focused don’t cloud their brain with gossip and negative talk about others.  Lengthy gossip is something that some women do. There’s a difference between telling it like it is and having most of what comes out be criticism and gossip.  

– People don’t pay attention and aren’t interested in listening when he speaks. A masculine man usually has the ability to engage people and is not afraid to engage others socially to do so. Observe how he is with his friends and in groups of people.  Can ne command respect and space and can allow space for others to do the same.
 –  A masculine man is strong in his choices; and is stable in his own abilities that others’ opinions only count for so much – but he does listen to others – not necessarily adapting them as his own because his choices matter the most. If he’s seeking approval from others, especially women, something is off, in that he is not secure in himself. If he adapts to other’s view points too easily taking  them as his own, he has no sense of self and is easily swayed. If he needs too much reassurance – then he lacks self-trust.  He will go with the group as in the lib/dem masses do. – If he loses things all the time, do you trust him? If his answers are, “I don’t know.” too often, can you trust him?
 Masculine energy is directional – it knows where it’s going and if it doesn’t – it finds out. Masculine energy knows the answers, the how to’s. – Masculine energy is not a complainer. The man who complains about work, his boss, his ex, his mother, his father, his life. the world or  the man who has an injury or mishap and goes on and on about it. And so enjoys telling the story of how bad it is or all was and how it happened over and over again. Complaints – complaints – complaints.

When does he have the time to take the problem at hand and deal with it – or to heal from the past trauma or issue that he carries with him?  Like the man who got engaged in his twenties and the woman cheated on him and in his fifties is still talking about it. When will he ever get over it, heal from it and why is he holding onto it? For sympathy?  For the ole poor me deal? To make his case that all women cheat or that commitment doesn’t work? Perhaps, he’s not even looking to deal or to heal. He just wants to blurt out complaints. This is mostly a feminine thing – being hurt, upset or complaining, because our natural feminine instinct is not to solve problems. but to talk about them over and over. It’s the lifeblood of the feminine to connect, talk and soon we feel better as if the problem never existed.  If a man is more towards the Alpha on the spectrum of Beta, he will not complain, but will solve.
When a woman can trust a man to be a man, a woman can relax and be a woman and this benefits both the male and female.   If a man talks about how bad their ex-girlfriend was, how they don’t have enough sex, how stressful their job is, with complaints about women, marriage, commitment, dating etc. –  they are complainers and may never get past their past or heal from their issues. Real men heal. Real women heal.

Feminists hold onto to issues, don’t forgive and hate. Misogynists hold onto issues, don’t forgive and hate.
Males who blame females for it all. Women who blame men it all are the cause of the male/female divide.Relationship is a place for divine healing…. it’s a gift from God of the true magnificence of the male/female connection/ attraction….
So-called feminism is toxic to both the male and female and our world.

Tools to assist in awareness – FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help

Adventure, Dating, Entertainment, Love, Men, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Women, Women In Real Life

Excerpt from FEAST OF MEN ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’

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Startling me, the pilot kneels down in the aisle right by my seat then with a large smile and in a Southern drawl asks, “Are you from LA?”  I laugh silently in my twisted humor. Um, he must think I’m the hijacker. The winking pilot continues looking up at me talking all Southern and gentlemanly like. “You look like someone I used to know who lived in LA. I just wanted to see if you were her.” 

I think, what an overused line, but I look down at him then answer, “I live in Dallas – actually, just outside of Dallas and you look a bit familiar also.”

The pilot looks up at me with his eyes locked into mine. “Oh really, well, I’ve got an empty seat beside me.  Since everyone else is watching the movie, would you like to sit with me and we can chat?  I’d love to talk more with you, but can’t stay here kneeling in this aisle.”

I respond, “Okay – why not, since everyone else is watching the movie.” As I think – nice brown eyes, appears a bit overconfident, but a Southern gentleman, besides I’m bored and can’t seem to sleep. So, talking with him might be a distraction to pass the time. I get up and follow him to where he’s sitting.

He has an aisle seat. There’s a woman by the window. So, I slide into the middle seat then look back.  The lady where I was sitting is yelling and motioning, but I can’t hear her.  So, the gallant pilot goes back to retrieve both my water and Diet Dr. Pepper. Apparently, the lady couldn’t get out of her seat with my tray table down.  I didn’t bring anything with me because I thought I’d only visit with the winking pilot for a short while.

FEAST OF MEN – One woman’s magical mysterious, nightmarish, adventurous journey through men on her quest to have a better understanding of the male energy on her search to find genuine and everlasting love. Just as life brings her the masculine offering of a chance for love, along with experiencing another aspect of herself in reflection – her heart is disappointed even broken. She then is  given the opportunity even forced to heal, as she becomes even more aware of the masculine energy and her relation to it, along with a deeper awareness of her imprints and beliefs. As she travels forward on her journey, the pieces come together, break, then come together again offering her the ability to become more aware and whole.
What if Eve was leading Adam to the opportunity to experience all and every dimension of life? The feminine as it relates to masculine and masculine as it relates to feminine. Male and female rubbing souls against one another for the possibility and benefit of what love creates and heals. And this is exactly what God intended – in the full power of ‘his knowing’ – that only a woman would be able to entice a man to do so. God, after all created the serpent along with the opportunity for choice without which there would be no dark defining light challenges on earth.

Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other usual places.
http://eart/dp/1642376876/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?keywords=FEAST+OF+MEN+byt+Ayn+Dillard&qid=1561582975&s=gateway&sr=8-2-fkmr0

Inspirational/Spiritual, Love, Men, Public Service Message For Women, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Sex, Women, Women In Real Life

FEAST OF MEN – ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’…

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There must be a plan…

But we’re fools to think we have total control over our destiny. There may be choices, but the universe has its law of physics – seems most things can’t be interrupted.

As if we’re fragments of a broken mirror with the magnetic chemistry of the powerful male/female energy compelling the pieces together.

Our individual reflection in the mirror is our soul-coded-blue-print urging us to find emotional wholeness.

Endless opportunities are offered up to recognize the negative ‘painful’ aspects taken in from our ancestral lineage with the goal of integration.

The powerful allure is the quest for self-knowledge, love and validation.

The ability to feel all our emotions in honest evaluation then to incorporate each reflection shown – we will arrive at our soul’s wisdom – which may be our true life’s journey on earth.

If brave enough to walk through each aspect striving for the unification of the male/female along with our shadow and light, the magic of our soul’s destiny will be unveiled.

  As increased inner truth is acknowledged, the pieces puzzle together. Our mirror becomes clearer as senses expand revealing our current essence through which we have the ability to experience more.

Just as our hearts become free – another piece emerges forcing the image to crack once again, re-adjusting with the offer and possibility of a more magnificent reflection than we once could have ever imagined.

And the process continues, if we persistently choose to overcome the dark and are granted the honor to carry our light to others reflecting the purity of our souls as we journey our way back home…

‘Life’s mirror is friend to a wise man and an enemy to a fool.’

To order signed first edition soft cover – FEAST OF MEN ‘Story of a Woman’s Heart’

EXPLOSIONS, Politics, Sex, Women In Real Life

Sexual pursuit, harassment, assault …

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ann-smile4About twenty years ago, I was visiting a friend in Manhattan Beach. He was invited to a party at an actresses’ house in the ‘Hollywood area’ because of his business association with her. So, we  attended. I knew no one there, but apparently, I resembled some wife of a studio head so I was greeted as if many knew me or thought they did.  I was outside admiring the lagoon when a world famous, Hollywood elite – actually ‘acting royalty’ – as in from a  family acting dynasty, actor approached me. I had seen him in many movies and on TV and liked his acting.  He was friendly, talkative and began flirting with me. I knew from the tabloids that he was not divorced from his first wife, although they had been separated for years. He was seen dating many and was known to be a womanizer.  His flirtations to me were flattering – I guess. But I disengaged from him.  No way was I interested in dating a womanizer, still married actor. Yet, everywhere I went, he was close by watching me. Men, such as this, when they set their eyes on a target and are not successful, just keep at it. He approached me again and again. Gave me flattering compliments – asked if he could take me to dinner. To which, I responded, “You are still married. I don’t date married men.” To which, he stated, “But the divorce will be final soon.” I said. “Call me when it is” Then laughed and walked away. Clearly, being the top actor that he is, he was not used to being rejected. He touched my arms, tried to hold my hand, put his hand at my waist, like he was trying to appear as if we were a couple and I was his.  He leaned in as if to try and kiss me and I turned my head. He tried to corner me, by moving forward forcing me to step back against a wall, so he could have my full attention and be in control. I stepped away and disengaged.

My friend  and I left the party – going onto another. The next day, this actor called my friend inquiring about me. Asking if he and I were a couple, asking all sorts of questions about me. My friend told me that this actor was smitten with me and would fly to Dallas to take me out. To which I responded, “I do not date married men, no matter who they are!”

Get it ladies? You set the boundaries. You know when a man is leaning into kiss and you can easily step back or turn your head or talk loudly to embarrass him or even scream, ‘NO!’ So that others hear.

These stories I am hearing about Trump sound like bogus lies to me. All coming forth at this time, for political agenda. That one woman’s story of being on an airplane and saying Trump was all over her. I call BS! At his first attempt, all she needed do was say I am not interested and get up. Yet, she says something like if his hands had stayed above the waist, well, then she wouldn’t have been so upset. Really?  If any of this is true, it shows that she allowed him to touch her so he kept on. But I think this whole thing is a made up lie to correlate  with the leaked Billy Bush tape.  It’s a set up!

So what if Trump likes beautiful women and approaches them?!  It doesn’t mean he disrespects women but admires their beauty. And as far as him forcing a woman to do something she is not interested in – I doubt that very much.  

The above actor, I mentioned was an ambassador to some humanitarian political organization or some such. He is high profile. He is married again and has children in the home. How stupid and idiotic would it be if I came out and said what he did to me at a party? It would be incredibly inane.  He is a good actor and a fine person in most regards. He just pursues women that he finds attractive – SO WHAT!?

Sexual harassment and assault – I  have had this occur when I was asked to write a book with a man in the financial industry. He was married and lived in my neighborhood. I knew his family and was acquaintance-like friends with his wife. He came onto me verbally  during our book collaboration. I would ignore his stupid comments then finally it was too much when he grabbed the pearls   around my neck and pulled me to him. I pushed him away and left. Then I called him on the phone telling him that I would not do this project and to leave me alone. And at the time, I needed the money, he was paying me because I was going through a divorce. then I found out that he raped a woman in his office and that he had a history of this kind of behavior – as in other financial institutions that he worked for in his past had settled  with several women who made sexual harassment accusations against him.  I filed a lawsuit to break the contract between us and I did it immediately. I didn’t wait. I did it the very next day. He was very well-known in our area as am I. So it made the paper big time. It went to trial. He settled with me.  And during that time, they tried to say I was crazy and everything else to disparage me and it did not work. I was telling the truth and I prevailed. His wife divorced him.

I have been through enough things such as this to know what is real and what is BS. Men come onto women they find attractive and this is very different then sexual harassment or assault. Women set the boundaries. They say, ‘no”! Disengage or file a lawsuit immediately, if it really is sexual harassment or assault.  They do not wait 30 years and come out just before an election to whine and say he groped me or he ‘looked’ at me or whatever these bought and paid for accusers are doing.

About Trump looking at the women in the beauty pageants. At one time, Trump went on Howard Stern and he put it out there as he beat his male ego-driven chest about sex and women. At the time, he was not running for President … he was a novelty kind of reality show guy. Many years have passed. So again, I say so what?!

Do I like the way Howard Stern and others talk about women? No! It’s lame, immature and rank. Men like this have the need to beat their chest and say these things. It’s males being idiots!  Most men talk this way about women to one another, at times, bragging,  beating their chests as if to claim… ”  I am man hear me roar!” I say … who cares?! Be an idiot.

Wise women see right through what this is and disengage.  And men can grow up and change. SoTrump and Melania 2me don’t like Bill Clinton did not, but I believe Trump has. And also that most the women coming out with their stories and accusations just weeks before the election are bought and paid for, ‘you know what’s’ to do so. Otherwise, were it true and so traumatic, they would have dealt with it at the time as Clinton’s victims did to which Hillary further victimized them. 

Trump is my choice for President. I believe he, his knowledge and expertise are what America needs. Hillary’s  agenda along with all  lib/dem/progressive  is to lead us into the NWO under the rule of the UN. With this kind of duplcitious leadership – America will be no more.

I write about women respecting themselves and setting their boundaries.  Hillary Clinton/dems/libs/progressives respect no one but their agenda – especially women, blacks, minorities, etc. They use them for her cause and benefit which is for more power and wealth for the NWO and those who will benefit from America’s destruction.

Trump is going against their agenda so they are against him. Making America great is the exact opposite of what they want, no matter what they say. They are liars, crooks, progressive communists.

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Entertainment, Love, Relationships, Romance, Self-help, Sex

Shades of Grey = dysfunction, not sexy, damage, boring, bland, blah!

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nightshirtpolkadots1I didn’t read the book, but saw the movie…

All it was is a depiction of a damaged child/man who can’t connect in love, therefore,  uses control and domination through sex  to make himself feel. He projects his damage and pain through punishment onto women in order to escape his own.

It was more sad than sexy. In fact, nothing about it was sensual or sexy. There are more and more people  today who are damaged as this man is depicted, who can’t look at self long enough to heal, who go from person to person focusing on sexuality for escape, thrill and the high and even when given the chance at connecting with a loving person is too emotionally damaged and fearful of becoming vulnerable to connect.

Love,  passion and commitment are what makes sex, sexy. Sure games can be fun and taking it to individual fantasies and edges can be exciting on occasion, but that in itself means nothing and lasts less than that.  Most mature adults recognize and understand this, immature, inexperienced youth won’t and don’t and some will see this movie as ‘cool’ showing things to try before they are emotionally and sexually developed which can then lead to distorting their perceptions of sex and love.

I found nothing sexy about this movie. I found it pretty boring and blah. The actors while attractive had no chemistry and that is another aspect that makes sex, sexy… chemistry along with personality.

To me, this was a psychological study of an emotionally damaged man.

At least, in the movie, she left him. I think so anyway. I exited to the ladies’ room several times, I was so bored.  But he soiled an inexperienced and pure person to his perversions.

Now, what would have made it interesting is, had love been able to break through his damage and pain, to break him open to real love. But he was too damaged, weak and fearful,  just like some in the world  who can’t commit and focus on sex, instead of  love, emotions and feelings.

I have no idea what all the ‘to do’ was about this story. I found it mundanely  dull. I know that’s redundant but so was the movie.

Why women like it, might it be that the thought, idea and fantasy of a ‘powerful/successful’ man taking control in the bedroom, and, or in their life, might be appealing because now days,  so many men  seem to have lost their manhood and are looking for a mother. And a man looking for a mother has no sex appeal. But in actuality,  the  sad, damaged man in the movie needed to be mothered, in orde,r to heal and possibly be able to love.

In a real enduring relationship, each person plays all the roles of male/female respectively…  as in intimacy, healing, growth, vulnerablity, empathy, strength, weakness, sex, sensuality, child, parent, teacher, student, lead, follower, depending on time, place and circumstance, etc..

Nothing is more sensual and sexy than an emotionally strong man who can take control in the bedroom, but ‘control’ is a shared two-way experience and a man who is too weak and insecure to let a woman take the lead to balance out the experiences is not sexy for long.

In my opinion, there were not many shades of grey in this movie, there was only one and it was blah!

EXPLOSIONS, Self-help, Sex, Spiritual

Gender confusion… ?

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???????????????????????????????If this offends anyone, sorry… as this is my opinion.

God created man and  woman to complement one another and their respective physical bodies display this clearly… to reproduce, comfort one another, have companionship and family.

Why all this gender confusion? Is it hormones in the food, drugs, big pharma, and, or recreational drugs, psychological or sexual abuse, or what?  Because it is not natural to the nature of our bodies. The children of the hippie generation seem to be the most confused and it’s just gotten worse since then. Did the recreational drugs their parents took cross over  the placenta and affect their hormonal make-up and genetics? Because it’s become bizarre like some freak show on earth.

I have interacted with homosexuals in my life because I was a ballet dancer and in the interior design fields for years. Those I knew blended in and didn’t choose to make a spectacle of themselves.  Those that I talked to in depth all revealed they had been sexually abused as children by those of the same or opposite sex,  had psychological or physical abuse from one or both parents and on a deep level had both disdain and envy for heterosexuals. It is known that when a child is over sexualized or sexualized in a perverted way it can affect them their whole life as to choices and self-esteem as their fragile boundaries are crossed when they are still in formation and an imprint is made on their mind, body and spirit. Open a door to evil and it walks right in. That is why we need to protect our children from perverted imprints being placed on them  from any level.. movies, TV, politically, in society, and in the home.

Children have a special place in God’s heart and anyone who harms a child is inviting God’s wrath upon himself.
Sexual abuse or molestation is particularly devastating and is soundly condemned in Scripture. Warnings against sexual sin abound in Scripture. To force sexual acts upon a child is a horrible, evil offense. In addition to committing a sexual sin, the perpetrator is also attacking the innocence of one of the world’s most vulnerable persons. Sexual abuse violates everything about a person from his or her understanding of self to physical boundaries to their spiritual connection with God. Perhaps, that is why evil is attacking human beings so intensely on this level  and at this time.  In a child, boundaries are barely established so that they are altered for life, and without appropriate help may not ever heal.
Psychological and emotional abuse are also forbidden in Scripture. Ephesians 6:4 warns fathers not to “exasperate” or provoke their children, but to bring them up in the “training and instruction of the Lord.” Harsh, unloving verbal discipline, emotional manipulation, or volatile environments alienate children’s minds from their parents and render their instruction and correction useless. Parents can provoke and exasperate their children by placing unreasonable requirements on them, belittling them, or constantly finding fault, thereby producing wounds that can be as bad as or worse than any physical beating can inflict.

Today, many gays are like side shows in the way they dress and act. It’s circus-like in its distortion. Many years ago, I was in Key West and witnessed for the first time women with women, and men with men openly flaunting their choice, bizarre behavior and dress. I found it humorously amusing  while it also made me feel like I needed to take a long shower to wash off grime after viewing their perverted depravity.

In the days of the caveman, were there men who wanted to be women and women who wanted to be men? Without the injecting of hormones, plastic surgeries, cosmetics, and clothing this change is not possible.

As a child, I was a Tomboy. I climbed trees, wore dungarees, ran around the neighborhood barefoot and dirty, at that time, the dirt didn’t bother me. I even climbed to the roofs of houses that were under construction, more daring and risk ready than many of the little boys in our group,  but when I went to Sunday school I wore a dress and never once did I wish or want to be a  boy. Then as I began to mature, I became more feminine, concerned about my dress, and cleanliness, no spots on my dresses,  pretty and well-groomed became my desire, even though I was still into sports, and, of course, ballet.

About a decade or more ago, I was out to dinner with many girlfriends. one friend had invited her decorator and she brought along her ‘girlfriend’. The decorator looked butch with a short hair-cut along with a manly attitude and mannerisms and it intrigued the rest of us. We started talking about homosexuality. The butch-girl said she could tell just by looking at someone, if they were gay or bi. She would look around the room and point those out she ‘deemed’ as such. We found her bizarre,  really off, but entertaining in a sordid way. Then she turned to me and my friend and said we had the possiblity to be if we were open. We both laughed, as this woman proceeded with her manipulative BS. It was as if she wanted to make everyone like her. We clearly had no interest and while it was humorous in its way, it was also demeaning and insulting that this dyke was trying to turn two very feminine women into her prey. She was crossing our boundaries with her manipulative, self-serving verbiage. She was a homosexual predator.  I wonder, how many of those with weak boundaries who have curiosity or confusion fall for this kind of manipulation and try something that they are not and have no interest in?

What has happened to our society that so many are confused about their gender? If you have a penis you are a man, if you have a vagina you are a woman. Nuff said!

“Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed.” Luke 17:28-30 (KJV)
Leviathan spins the web of fog to blind peope to the truth.  Good is seen as bad,  bad is seen as good, truth is seen as lie,  lie is seen as truth, because that is the way and agenda of Satan’s destruction.