Almost everyone plays it occasionally because it is easier than looking at yourself.
“Blame.” The mere word suggests that something shady is going on. “Blame” hardly ever has a positive ring to it, because it usually implies trying to “pin” fault on another.
Many of us learn how to do it when we are little by watching our parents and peers. A whole lot of us never learn how to actually be accountable, or take responsibility for our own actions. After all, that would mean we’d have to look at our own stuff, and God forbid, do some work on ourselves.
Human beings generally resist change, and most, downright despise having to work for anything that doesn’t hail instant reward, or gratification. We live in a society that teaches us that we should have a sense of entitlement. So, looking the other way is not only acceptable, but makes life easier. We don’t like getting involved, not with others, and sure as hell not with ourselves. So, we do a lot of blaming, denying, avoiding and “existing”. Most of us would rather engage in the ‘status quo’ than question the system.
If we do this year after year, we end up with mediocre, miserable lives, which we blame on our surroundings, circumstances, upbringing, or on our lack of (beauty, wealth, health, etc.).
When we blame, it’s an implication that we are right. Being right is the number one reason we fight, or disagree, because ‘ego’ keeps us feeling alive and ‘okay’.
We also imply that we don’t need to adjust our own attitude. We do this by making the same points, with the same people with the same lack of success. This truly is the the best example of insanity. When we run out of excuses, we fall into the victim mode and look for those in agreement. We assemble; in other words, we find those who will agree with us. (interesting ‘community organizer’ types comes to mind)
We keep building an opinion poll, until we have successfully drowned out any logic, or reason, and hence, continue on our path of craziness.
Why is it so easy to do this? Because one of the most feared traits with most human beings is conflict or confrontation. Therefore, it is much easier to find those who agree, even if it’s silently, than those who call us on our own crap. And of course, because the ‘majority’ consists of (excuse the harsh word) cowards, it is easier to get the buy-in from the majority.
Take a good look around you and tell me how many inspiring people you see? Now take a look and tell me how many followers you see? Those who fall into the blame game are usually followers. Inspiring people stand out, take the blame, state their beliefs, go against the grain and don’t mind conflict. They enjoy the challenge and the subsequent growth.
We are, by design, herd animals and we function better when we feel validated by the herd.
We are so easily manipulated via our emotions that we follow all kinds of ‘crazy’ ideas, ideologies, statements and people. This is how religion and politics work. They appeal to our emotions, not our logic, and the fact remains that most of us are emotional creatures, even if we are totally unaware of it.
If I tell you the things that feed and validate your fears, paranoia and insecurities, I will not only have an impact on you, but possibly a
follower, too. (dictators are great at this)
Weak people will do the most blaming and weak people are easily led. A strong, secure, self-aware person can accept blame and can look at self. In fact, they encourage this for their self-growth which is more important to them than getting away with something.
It ‘appears’ as if inspiring people have the most followers, but sadly, it only ‘appears’ that way. The ones who tell us what we want to hear and ask us for the least amount of effort will generally get our voice and devotion. (Obama)
In theory, we want to be challenged, but in practice we want not to move a finger and have things fall into our laps. Hence, the blame game. And most play it in some form almost every single day.
Do you play the blame game? Can you recognize it when you do? And how often do you play it? Ever thought about it? Huh? Have you?