Yummy feminine power…

Ah, the mystical power of the female over man. This strategy has been around since the time of Adam and Eve, when Eve convinced Adam to take a bite of the apple. The Greeks accorded this power to a group of women, the Sirens, who seduced sailors with their siren call and lured them to their deaths in the ocean. Many an author and poet have found feminine deceit their favorite theme. Some vestiges of these ensnaring abilities reside in most women even if it’s in a less dramatic form.

The very nature of men and women accounts for the success of feminine wiles – men tend to be easier to read, simpler in their machinations, and very physical by nature. Women on the other hand tend to be more complex, analytical, and more emotional. These differences set the stage for a very specific kind of dance between members of the two genders. Whereas men may simply need food, shelter, and a woman to sleep with, women want security, protection and admiration – and therein lies the great distinction and the basis for the game.

How It Plays Out

Take any environment in our modern society – a bar with a woman looking to meet a man that will offer to buy her a drink, a car garage with a female looking to get a deal on her car maintenance, a woman trying to convince a cop to not give her a ticket for speeding. These are some typical ways women might use their feminine charms to get what they want. Women can be more mysterious and strategic by nature, and men fall for this ploy hook, line and sinker. Almost every woman has this power within her, although she may not always be aware she is using it. Women have learned at an early age that a coy smile can get her something she wants.

This method of female persuasion might be viewed as a sweet way to obtain what you want, unless, perhaps, it is used cruelly. Some women have perfected this art and use it like a well-honed skill. It is one thing to flirt your way to a free drink at a bar when you have no intention of giving a guy your number, and entirely different when your teasing seductions have him cleaning out his bank account to please you with gifts, only to drop him flat on his face when he can’t afford to support your champagne tastes any longer.

Fortunately, most women have a compassionate nature along with their art of female persuasion, and while their flirting and smiles may make everyday life a little easier for them, most women have personal boundaries they wouldn’t overstep just to get something they wanted. In this regard, feminine wiles can actually be an empowering art, influencing people in charming ways that leaves both parties satisfied.

It’s in the Technique

For those women who may not feel that their feminine wiles are in full throttle, there are some simple techniques that engage your feminine power which men readily react to. These are things like a warm smile, good manners, a gentle voice, maybe even light touches to his arm to accent your voice. Being confident, passionate, and witty in the way you speak to him will definitely charm. But some women really aren’t aware of their own female power – just as other women exploit it to the fullest extent.

Both men and women have their own type of power, which they use every day in their lives to reach their goals. The power of feminine wiles might be the best ace up a woman’s sleeve, just as a man’s may be his strength and ability and how he flaunts it before women. A confident woman is aware of her feminine powers and uses them in a charming manner to get what she wants, all the while making the man feel appreciated and desirable. Knowing how important the male ego plays in the typical male’s sense of self-worth, makes this, perhaps, a pretty fair trade and balance after all!

Look to the left and click to follow…

Is this always the case? Many times, yes, but in some not. While individual studies suggest that two-thirds of cheaters become repeaters (serial cheaters), it’s important to note that the likelihood of a partner repeating infidelity depends on certian factors. These factors include maturity, influence, personality, acceptance of fault, regret, neglect, and the final outcome.

Maturity

Age is a big factor in cheating. In fact, it could be said that infidelity and immaturity go hand in hand. A study consisting of 145 students (average age 23) found that nearly 70 percent had thought about cheating on a current partner, while 41 percent had completed the deed. Fast forward to age 27, and 54 percent reported being tempted, with 39 percent going through with the act. The magic age when men and women begin to settle towards a 25 percent infidelity rate is after 30. When young couples are pushed, they often try to avoid commitment by cheating, but this is often outgrown with maturity.

Influence

Studies show that there is some correlation between the types of friends a couple has and their likelihood of cheating. According to these studies, 77 percent of cheaters have close friends who are also engaging in some form of unfaithfulness to their spouse/partner. If you want a partner to stay faithful, it’s best to offer them the influence of other happy couples. You may not be able to choose your partner’s friends, but you can choose the couples you spend the most time with.

Avoidance-Detachment

The avoidance-detachment personality describes a partner who is constantly pulling away, looking for ways to distance themselves from the relationship. This can occur when people are young and unprepared to settle down, but it can also be a sign of someone who is constantly afraid of intimacy and commitment. When one avoidance-detachment personality exists in a relationship, infidelity is usually not far away. Cheating can be one of their favorite ways to create a wedge between their relationships. If you find yourself in one of these situations, your chances aren’t good, unless your partner admits their problem and seeks help.

Acceptance of Fault

People often estimate the likelihood of an affair by the amount of charisma/attractiveness one partner either has or doesn’t have. Interestingly, 88 percent of all affairs occur with someone who is not any more attractive, charismatic, or sexy than the cheater’s current partner. Furthermore, most psychologists confirm that the reasons people cheat usually have more to do with how the cheater feels about themselves, than how they feel about their partner. In other words, it’s more them than you, so don’t let them tell you otherwise.

Remorse/Regret

As many as 70 percent of affairs end with the cheater feeling sick with regret. In these cases, the cheater may be transformed (relationship rekindled) if the victim is able to bring themselves to forgive. Cheaters who are less likely to repeat show sincere remorse for their actions. Instead of excuses like “It’s your fault,” “It was an accident” or “It meant nothing,” they take full responsibility and express the need to prevent it from happening again. They’ll open up about their feelings, attend counseling, and do whatever it takes to regain your trust. In cases like these, it’s possible for a partnership to actually emerge stronger than it was before.

Neglect

According to surveys, nearly 50 percent of cheaters cheat because they feel neglected by their current partner. This can either mean a lack of emotional or physical (sexual) support. In relationships where both partners feel loved and satisfied, the chances of infidelity decrease. Keep in mind that out of the remaining 50 percent, a good portion of these cheaters actually report being “happy,” so this is more of a preventative measure than a guarantee. (I think the neglect excuse is just that an excuse.) Get a divorce or end the relationship if you ‘feel’ neglected before you begin dating.

Final Outcome

Some researchers believe that another indicator of a serial cheater is the severity of the penalty with which it was received. Cheaters are less likely to fall off the wagon (so to speak) when they’ve had to work through hardships, including guilt, embarrassment, having their life put under a microscope, and attending counseling. Cheaters who get away without punishment will likely continue to cheat simply because they can. Cheating has become an unhealthy dynamic in their relationships. One that has gone on too long to be easily stopped. This is one reason why it’s important to act at the first sign of trouble and make it clear that such actions are unacceptable.

In summary, to avoid repeat cheaters, look at how each of these factors plays a role in your  relationship, and then weigh your love with what that little voice inside your head is telling you. You might eventually ‘forgive’ your partner for your own good, but don’t ‘forget’ and don’t be so quick to give them a second chance until they’ve earned it.

Even after presenting this…IN MY OPINION, there is no excuse for cheating except that it is pretty much a character flaw. Granted some may outgrow it with maturity, but most don’t. So, if you are with a cheater, it might be better to just get away. 

What do you think?

Sex is used in commercials. It grabs our attention! We human beings have an animal reaction to sex. It is innate, a drive that allows us to propagate and survive as a race. We are attracted to that which promises the quickest and surest route to sex, driven by the tiny bit of our brain in charge of species survival.

So something overt and obvious such as when that hottie walks by and the mind takes a vacation and the endorphins start to boil and bubble, and before you know it, you’re raising an eyebrow with a “come hither” look in your eyes. You’re physically affected by just the nearness of this person even without knowing a single thing about them!

This can affect the choices we make in what to wear and how to wear it. We want to be attractive to potential lovers; however, this doesn’t always attract the type of person that will stay and build a “nest.” Or a person that is emotionally stable and mature enough to create and maintain an enduring relationship.

We do control our behaviors with our minds. Athough, it seems difficult to believe, at times.

The truth is that human beings are afraid of change, and some will continue in their rut until it kills them… but you don’t have to! Many thinking people overcome their fear of change and create new and happier lives.
 
“But old tapes” need to be replaced with “new tapes.” Wise people and those with with emotional wisdom control their thoughts and behaviors, instead of letting their emotions controlling them. 

Look at the marketing images used to attract. They are aimed at base emotional responses. See them for what they are – shallow images concocted by an advertising team, meant to control and manipulate.

Is that beauty in the ad really attainable for the average man?
 
Or is that ‘hunk’ what most men look like?

Cut out some magazine ads, put a label over the middle of them, and write “LIES” across them in RED. Now go through magazines and find images of people holding hands, healthy couples (not Hollywood versions) and other positive images, and begin to create a dream board. This is a poster board with images that you select and place on it, images which support your healthy change. Look at the board just before you go to sleep.

Let go of the need for the “sudden impulse” of attraction, and give yourself some rules to govern how you proceed. Sure there needs to be attraction, but that ‘overwhelming sexual draw’, many times, leads to nothing, but shallowness and superfical attraction. That sexual draw can blind you to who the person really is and distort real feelings. 

Here are some suggestions:

Don’t attribute personality traits to someone based on your physical attraction to them, wait to get to know them. If someone leads with their ‘sexuality’ ask yourself why? What’s their motive?  Most people who tend to do this, either male or female, are using their sexuality either to control, or to hide behind.

Six Week Rule: Wait six weeks of knowing, dating, seeing this person to decide if you even want to pursue the relationship further.

Six Month Rule: After six months, the “real” person will be visible. The false front or ‘act’, if there is one, usually can’t be maintained much longer.

Now these are only ‘guidelines’… sure there’s that one in a million love at first site that lasts a lifetime..

What are some other methods for developing healthier sexual attitudes and relationships?