All posts by ann888

Do all people have the ability to love?

???????????????????????????????And if someone can’t love, doesn’t know how, isn’t able, or capable… can you, should you try to love them? Love isn’t a mood, a pretty face, blond hair, a sports car, a bank account, or a rockin bod, etc… 

When you describe love as a ‘mood’, or anything else other than a deep sincere emotion then you are describing a superficial love. Love is a deep emotion… and some can’t feel real emotions at all, and some ‘fake’ their feelings for their gain.

Some profess love way too fast…
before there is actually any possibility that it could be felt…and many who do this, fall in and out of ‘love’ as if it were ‘luving’ the current fad. They fall in ‘luv’ with the way a woman looks, or her body and a woman falls in ‘luv’ with a man’s ‘appearance’ of ‘power.’ It’s insincere and only their mood, or attraction at the time. This kind of person can be dangerous to those with the real ability to love…they try to and can actually suck love out of a sincere loving person… and nothing about fast ‘luv’ is love. It’s actually predator-like and derives from lack, agenda and possibly even evil intent…
 

Too many people suppress or escape emotions… being emotionally real and honest is rare these days… but we are sentient beings and to deny who we are is to deny self and what we are put on earth for, which is too feel, express emotions and to experience. And some in the world can’t handle others’ emotions because they can’t handle their own. They are the walking dead… no sincere passion, no reality, can’t love, can’t sincerely express , or see truth because they are so false unto themselves and who they really are… so when the first blush of attraction is gone… so is their ‘luv’…

Of course, as a caring, loving human being some of us can love the unlovable, but it is wise to do so from a distance. In a romantic relationship, trying to love someone who can’t love you in return leads to nothing, but pain and despair.

Those people who have the ability to fake emotions and to not really feel them who knows why exactly?  Was it something that happened to them in childhood, or somewhere in their life, or were they born that way?

A man once told me that when he was younger that he would tell girls that he loved them. ” I love you.”, very powerful words. So needy girls would feel ‘loved’ for a bit and give him what he wanted…’sex with no attachment’ on his part. He chuckled while telling me this. He was a man who while handsome and charming had no ability to love. He didn’t feel loved, so he knew the intense power of the desire to feel so, and he used this power over others to control them. He was damaged and he damaged others by telling them what they needed and wanted to hear to get what he wanted. He had no love for anyone including himself. He was afraid of love and actually afraid of women, so he kept them at arm’s length and manipulated and used them.

Some talk of ‘forever’ when it is premature and superficial. The words, ‘forever’, ‘love’, and ‘soulmate’ … can be meaningful only when used in sincerity and too many these days use them flippantly and to manipulate for their own feelings of power and control.

If Tom Hanks or Cruise can say it in some ‘stupid’ (while entertaining) romantic comedy… any guy with half a brain can do the same. The “You complete me.” line that Cruise ‘acted’… how many times has that been used? This line was ‘scripted’ for affect, it didn’t come from the heart in a moment of depth and passion in real life.

I have been told by many men that I am the kind of woman that they want to have on their arm. Now, what does that mean ‘exactly’? It means that it makes them feel good to have what they ‘consider’ a ‘catch’ on their arm. It has nothing to do with me, or my well-being, or caring about ‘me’. It’s about them and what ‘they feel like’, or ‘want and need’ to feel like for their weak egos. Men like this are dangerous for women who can love… as they use and exploit for their needs. Men like this are selfish, self-serving and ego driven…

A man once told me that men go for the best, most attractive girl that they ‘think’ they can attain.. or they ‘think’ they ‘may’ have a chance with, a chance of ‘scoring’ with on some level… But most men quickly back off when thwarted in their attempt while after a woman… again it’s that fragile male ego.  But real, sincere, enduring love can’t be thwarted. You hear the stories of the man who wouldn’t give up until the woman said yes. I am not talking anything creepy here, like stalking. I am talking strong pursuit, when a man really has the ability to love … Think of the character depicted in the movie THE NOTEBOOK.. that movie depicted an example of a man who could love, felt it deeply and acted on it.

Strong, worthy men will go after what they desire…and those with love in their heart… will stay on that path and not be sidetracked by some ‘honey’ of a distraction to feed their ego.

Some women use flattery and sexy ways to lure a man in, when all they want to do is to use him. Both sexes do this to one another… the ones who can’t love and who can only ‘fake it’…as in ‘prostituted’… they usually can’t love and don’t like sex… so they ‘fake’ it… there are more ‘prostitute’ types around than many realize in both sexes. They are the damaged ones and they are out to damage others…

Do you think many people have the ability to really love another? Most all of us desire and want love. So, why is it that it seems and appears that so many have no idea what it is?

Children learn what love is from their parents. I believe this to be gospel and it derives from the parents love and commitment to each another This is a child’s first example. When some people only have children for themselves and their selfish needs, how can a child feel loved, or even learn what love is? They can’t. And this is manifested out into our world with every action and choice. Look at what is being manifested into our world today… overly overt sexuality that has nothing to do with love, people having children with no commitment to them, or to one another.

Ladies! No man will love you, or treat you better than you love or treat yourself.
And sex is not love… in its finest, it is one ‘expression of love in the physical form’ and it can produce life…the greatest gift of love that there is. So, when you diminish sex … love becomes diminished in you…

To be able to love is a great blessing… to be able to feel love, to give love and to be loved in return is the greatest gift one can possess. The ability to love comes from within and is built on respect, commitment and trust of self then to others and this comes from parenting the child along with their internal ‘God-given’ makeup. And if you weren’t parented well, you can learn to re-parent yourself. Treat yourself as the precious person you are… and act accordingly…

You can’t have love without commitment… and those who really love not only know this, but desire it…

“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim Keller

Remember it’s in his love that Christ gave his life for you… and he turned away from those he could not touch…

Do you know what love is and feels like? Can you love? Do you love? Are you loved? Have you ever felt love, deeply, sincerely and truly? Do all people have the ability to love, or do only a few have that capacity?

Showering while tipsy…

  ???????????????????????????????after working out, I shower as I think back…New Year’s Eve, it was Vivre Cliquot with Ravioli in garlic butter with walnuts, tomatoes, and black olives…

New Years Day, it was Coors light with a twist of lime and a skinny pizza with the works….

Tonight after working out… it’s Claret with the left over Ravioli, but this time in red sauce.

Working out then having a glass of Claret really don’t mix, because I feel tipsy.

The movie, WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN, flashes in my mind, as I wash my hair, the part where Meg Ryan’s alcoholic character falls through the shower door …  after slapping her precious little daughter for asking her a question after Meg’s character had way too much to drink…

Oh my gosh! Is that me? Drinking three days in a row.  But I only had two glasses of champagne on NYE, one beer on NY Day and one glass of wine today, and  I don’t have a daughter and I don’t slap people… But might I fall through this door?

911!! AA!!… Triple A!!!

Nah!… first I need to condition my hair. Only I did take a photo of myself getting out of the shower… am I blottoed..?

I wonder??? What should I have tomorrow night? A Mojito or Sauvignon Blanc? Tis the season…Cheers!!!

(This was written in fun as I realized how much I had been drinking lately. To me drinking three nights in a row is a lot. I am a light drinker, one or two is my limit and I go weeks even months without having any alcohol. I think it can be enjoyable in moderation. Drink wisely… a bit of it can be good for you. Too much and it can be a disaster for both your internal and external worlds.)

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Your instincts versus so-called ‘experts’, media and …

yellow august 7everything else…Do you listen to yourself, your instincts, or do you listen to the media and so-called ‘experts’?

Much I hear these days on the TV, in all media, in all the ridiculous ads, from the healthcare industry and otherwise, the government, and much else -rings false to me.

Those drug ads, prescription and otherwise are the worst… it’s insulting to hear them. Buy this! Buy that! Take this! But if you do it might cause – and the list is long of all the things that might be done for the  one ounce of good offered. Why do people need all these prescription drugs and otherwise? Why do people need all these products? They don’t!  It’s all done to make some big pharma company money.

And all the gadgets they push? Why do we need all that junk? We don’t!

I can barely listen to the talking heads. As soon as an ad comes on, I mute them. They are too insulting and downright stupid. That ridiculous, abrasive Progressive woman… isn’t it time they retired that stupidity?

I haven’t watched a talkshow in years and am better for it.

The main stream media is the stupidest thing I have ever watched. I watched it for five minutes a few days ago and that is all I could take. I am getting where I can’t watch Fox any longer except for Hannity, Tucker and Judge Jeanine.

Years ago, I watched Anderson Cooper and that ugly, foul-mouthed-red-head for two minutes on NYE and thought… who watches this insane trash? It’s not funny. It’s not anything!Then this crass woman holds a severed head of our President and thinks it’s humor.

An occasional expletive is fine and I am certainly no prude, but it’s gotten crass and low-class, banal and perverted. Is that what our society has become? Pushing it over the cliff from what was once a bit off color and fun to extreme crassness and perversion…

My taste level and instincts tell me it is all propaganda and trash…

Do others feel as I do? Or are most of the populous so dumbed- down, addicted, numb, ignorant, vapid, vacated, perverted and easily brainwashed that they can’t see what is being done  – sold and propagandized to them everyday, in every way, and in every minute?

Kissing….Eyes wide shut….

???????????????????????????????Styles of kissing… the way a person kisses reveals much.

Sure, there can be instant chemistry that is magic and unmistakably passionate and sensuous  that sends tingle through your whole body with the inability to stop. Then there can be that awkward, your nose goes where, then my goes…

There are those who keep their eyes open when they kiss… and those who close them. Some are sloppy and messy. Some are precise and neat… and sometimes mixing the two doesn’t work well.. although there are different ways to kiss at different times and in different places… if you know what I mean?!

I read that those who mostly kiss with their eyes closed are more passionate and into their feelings and those who mostly kiss with their eyes open are more into controlling the person they are kissing…

Eyes closed you are inward and  ‘in touch’ with your feelings… eyes open you are directed away from self…

Years, ago, I dated a man who kissed with his eyes open. We would be passionately kissing and I would open my eyes for a sec and there he always would be with eyes staring at me.. it creeped me out.. Sure men are more visual, but…something about his beady eyes staring at me… YUCK!

I asked him why he didn’t close his eyes more often when we were kissing.. his answer. ” I like to watch you.” So, he was more into watching me then what he was feeling… Of course, it ended… as soon, I realized he was not anyone I wanted in my life much less to kiss. Because, it was creepy to glance up and have eyes staring at me in the way that his did.

Sure, eyes open, at times, during kissing, but to have eyes staring.. is strange in my opinion.

Teeth… they must be clean white and straight. I am a teeth freak…mine are clean and well-kept and I expect the same in my kissing partner….

That first kiss can tell you sooo much… It can reveal what kind of a person they are… are they passionate, are they loving, and what kind of a lover they will be…

Kissing is a ‘very intimate’ activity… Hookers, I have heard will not kiss on the mouth.. so that about says it. They will do all sorts of other things with their private parts, but will not kiss on the lips…

What’s your opinion on kissing styles, eyes open or shut, overly wet, or teeth are important or…just??? Pucker up and SMACK!!!!

Hysterical…the stories I hear from women about men…

???????????????????????????????A woman told me that she was interacting with a man over the Internet… and they had communicated for about a month. That he was planning on moving to her area and wanted to meet her. He sounded fairly interesting to her, although physically, not all that attractive, but she was open to meeting him in person to see further.

Several times, during their phone conversations, he said things that she questioned… that came across a bit insulting, or as if he didn’t know how to talk to a woman and she wasn’t sure why. So, she confronted him and he would say he didn’t mean it, or ‘she’ took it the wrong way, that she didn’t understand his sense of humor, or that he was ‘tired’. At times, he mumbled, talked fast and stepped on her words when she was talking with him…

She asked him if he dated often because he appeared to be working all the time and  seemed to be awkward in his communication and he talked fast almost like he was out of breath, at times … and she wondered if, perhaps, he was just nerdy, nervous, or inexperienced with women. He responded that he dated some… and one person in particular, but that it was ending.

She inquired, “Why is it ending?” While thinking, if he’s dating someone, why is he pursuing me?

His answer, “I don’t trust her and it’s a long, complicated story. I will tell you about it later.”

She then wisely asks, “Are you having sex with her?” He replies, “Yes.”

She: “Why?”

Him: “It’s convenient.”

She continues. “So you are having sex with someone you  are ending it with and don’t trust because it’s convenient, while pursuing me. If we meet and like one another, will you be having convenient sex with this woman, you don’t trust? And does she know you are pursuing others? As she ponders, so this man thinks of sex with a woman as a convenience. How disgusting and he is actually saying this to me…

His response. “She is, too.”

Her come back. “Oh I see. Are you hearing what you are telling me?”

His come back. “I am tired. I don’t do well when I am tired.”

She: “How would you feel and what would you think, if I told you I was having ‘convenient’ sex with someone.”

He: “Umm…. well … that would be your business.”

She: “I don’t have convenient sex. So why don’t you go have your ‘convenient’  sex with that woman you don’t trust. I am going to pass on meeting you.”

What would you think and what would you have done?….

The man is the frame and the woman…

the work of art that fills up the frame…Or the woman is the picture that the frame surrounds and displays…

A frame standing alone is empty and rather uninteresting, isn’t it? But add a piece of art and it shines and is defined….as both are enhanced and displayed…

Of course, it’s nice, if the frame and art complement one another, or actually they may contrast. It all depends on the taste level and desire…  as they define one another in one aspeView of Mount Marseilleveyre and the Isle of Maire, c.1882-85 Giclee Printct or another. The right frame can make a work of art stand out and the right piece of art surrounded by the complementing frame allows the frame be noticed and succeed in what it’s been created for and to become more than it is as it supports, protects, and displays the work of art…when otherwise, it wouldn’t or couldn’t….it would just hang, or sit there empty and not fulfilled, possibly barely noticed….

A picture can stand alone without a frame… but to anchor it to the room, or the environment, it is better protected and displayed surrounded by a complementary frame. The ‘right’ frame can even propel it forward to become all that it is and could ever be….

Alone they are fine, but together they have the opportunity and potential to shine, enhance a space, even to glorify one another….

A frame can be put around a mirror, a work of art, a piece of junk, or a prized possession A modern frame can be around a Renaissance piece and an antique frame can surround a contemporary, or abstract work of art. It all depends on the environment and the desire behind what is to be accomplished in the goal of their mating and partnerships. … it’s a marriage of art and its display.

Now to frame a mirror is quite interesting in that it reflects all that passes before it…

If a frame is cracked, damaged, or becomes weak in its joints and even falls to the ground, the art may be damaged….

But the art can be damaged and if the frame is sturdy, the piece can remain in tact… until, the frame is changed to another more worthy work of art.

A frame can almost be like an accompanying work of art itself, but if it over powers the artwork its purpose will be flawed. Where as a work of art has less of a chance of becoming a frame because that is not its purpose and it might tear it apart, take away from, even destroy its beauty to try to be something that it is not…

Frames are a dime a dozen… a work of art rare… 

When a frame finds its work of art… it is best served to hold it strongly, wisely and with honor… and when a work of art finds its complementing frame … WOW! as there is nothing better than a perfectly frame work of art. It’s magic!  

A man is the frame and the woman is what fills and fulfills the frame. A frame needs its work of art to become and a work of art needs the support of a frame to shine…and just like with a man and a woman, the art is what is more readily observed and admired not the frame…

Ever realized or noticed that people always look to the woman first in a couple and then the man. They first view the woman then look to the man to see if he is worthy of her. Does she have the right frame?…

Think about it…
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(And yes, I understand men that a man can be observed and it can be wondered what is he doing with that woman…)

If you could have anything for Christmas…

what would it be?

For me, it is to enter this house one more time
and to shout, “Dad, it’s me! I am home!” And to hear his voice, “Hi tiger, come on in. I’m in the library.”

Also, Santa, while, I am wishing. Please make it so Obama is not in the White House… that he didn’t ‘win’, ‘rather steal the election’, and Romney won instead… so America could have a better chance to be back on the road to being America again…God, protect our freedoms…

Remember, when you were a child and you had a Santa list a mile long of all the toys, clothes, games and things that you sooo wanted to find under the tree on Christmas morning? Then they would magically be there. How simple life was, magical and fun. Mother reading the ‘Night before Christmas’ and putting cookies and milk out for Santa and carrots for his reindeer. Little things made you so happy, not that they seemed little then… like a doll, a bike, a record player, a Girl Scout watch…they were all that were important in your magical, little world…

This Christmas especially for me is full of the memories of Christmas’s gone by… My ‘personal Santa’, my Dad, is with the Lord this year and while I

miss him terribly, I take comfort in all the wonderful memories he created for me. My Dad loved to give and to make dreams come true and he was really good at it. He wanted me to be happy…
Thank you Daddy for all the Christmas memories, from a red tricycle, to a shiny green bike, to a Mustang car, to diamond earrings, a rare pearl ring, to a big check in my first designer evening purse…Dad was always providing wheels and moving me forward with beautiful gifts…All special filled with love that now create such wonderful memories… But the best gift my Dad gave me is his ‘will’ … his will of steel to overcome. And it’s interesting that since Dad has left the earth, I hear his words of guidance in my sleep, in my dreams, or in a quiet moment… a ‘knowing’ that he is watching over me from above…guiding and giving me strength… Perhaps, his greatest gift of all.

I love you Daddy… Merry Christmas!!!

Except, I feel alone this Christmas without you, Daddy…even as you are instilled in my heart forever,

Christmas time and each and everyday…

As Mother always said, “You are your Daddy’s girl.”

If you could have anything that you ask for, what would that be? Or what are some of your special Christmas memories?

A man is born to take care of a woman…

Abackbed02cSo, ladies make sure you put your head on the right pillow…

Because a man who doesn’t acknowledge this truth is not worth being with…. all the real men know it and act accordingly…

Sure, with youth (there is growth, hope and awareness), but the foolish, self-centered men never grasp this concept and for this they end up the losers in the love and the relationship area… ever searching, always blaming, never really attaining…

Also a man who doesn’t recognize that this is what he was born to do, is not worth much in other ‘real’ men’s eyes (no matter how much they may protest). A man is not worth much in his own eyes, either, if he doesn’t follow the laws of nature and God… causing them their escape, addictions, over-emphasis on sex, violence, objectifying and oppressing the feminine. Because it’s their need and desire of her that they fear…

Men admire other men who provide well and take care of their woman …and families…

In most all instances, the look on a woman’s face will tell you much about the man in her life…

On your rainy day…

???????????????????????????????What are ways you cope?

pray – pull the covers over your head – eat too much – drink wine – sleep – laugh – listen to music – watch TV – read a book -take in a movie – look at fashion magazines – workout??????????????????????????????? talk with friends – wallow in it – fight it – cry – pout – scream – shout – write – talk – act – freeze up – break down – stay strong – fall to weak – cook – not eat – eat chocolate – eat  salty – eat sweet then salty – put on wild music and dance around the house – sing – take a hot bath – take a hot shower – talk to everyone – don’t talk to anyone – get quiet and figure it out…

What do you do? I think I do a bit of it all!!!

And know, the sun will come out tomorrow…

A woman desires to see a reflection of…

???????????????????????????????appreciation in a man’s eyes… and a man desires even ‘needs’ to see a reflection of appreciation in a woman’s…

This is the ultimate balance of the male and female and what most all desire, wish and strive for… to have stimulation, excitement, comfort and wholeness… but most of all appreciation…

When this is achieved and balance is there, at least, most all of the time… respect, trust, peace and a true contentment can be experienced through security of both…

A woman’s ‘base need’ is security and that is achieved through respect and trust.. that she is loved for herself and appreciated and admired for who she is along with her innate nurturing abilities. When she feels secure and appreciated, she is then safe to become more of who she is… to be all and bestow her gifts on her man.

A man’s ‘base need’ is to be ‘the hero’ … a protector, in charge and in control of his life’s direction… and to know that he is appreciated for his efforts. When he does this and feels appreciated, he is then free to achieve and be more of who he is…

As in this balance of the innate male/female needs and desires being achieved …. contentment is not only possible, but from which derives joy and bliss.., and when there, nothing is better …

The feminine and masculine in their highest purpose are the perfect reflection of one another..

Agree or not?

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