It’s hard to love someone through the ups and downs, the good, bad and ugly and that is why commitment is required. It’s difficult and makes one feel vulnerable to allow someone to see all sides, the dark, the bad, the fears, etc. instead of only the good, the better, the ‘image’, etc. – that is why commitment is important, even required.
When things get hard, it’s easy to exit and be onto someone who will see you with fresh eyes and that you can fool for awhile into thinking that you are such a good, nice, kind, successful person, etc. – whatever your persona or whichever way it is that you ‘need’ to view yourself and, or to be viewed to feel ‘okay’ about yourself and to keep your image in tact.
Some weak, insecure people can’t/don’t genuinely love and commit because they are fearful of their wounds, their weaknesses being revealed and seen because they then would need to address, heal and correct them to become more whole, in order to feel that they are worthy to self and another. As long as they can keep those things hidden and what they ‘think’ is out of sight, they ‘feel’ that they are ‘okay’ – when they really aren’t. Facing your wounds, your issues can be painful and it’s the brave who do so. Love is for the brave, not the weak.
The challenge of the love relationship and life is when others see who you really are and when you see who they really are – all their different sides and you still love one another through thick and thin. That is what love is – that is what commitment is. That is why the vows of marriage are as they are – for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, good times and not so good, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, along with ‘let no one put asunder’.
It’s easy to love when everything is perfect – not so easy when it isn’t, but the genuine enduring fulfillment comes when a couple goes through the thick and thin of life together. Vows of a love relationship are not – ‘I will love you, until I see that you aren’t perfect, we have troubles, or you get sick, or when you might see the real me and leave me.’
The benefit of love is that it challenges both individuals to become their best, to heal their wounds, address their issues, by rubbing their souls against one another for the benefit of both. Love is the most clear and profound mirror you will ever have.
There are some fatal flaws that which are if an individual is too weak or ignorant to address and that another can’t abide, until awareness, healing and change occurs – as in cheating, addictions, or abuse, etc.
Only if you tell someone that you love them, but can’t love them through their worse place, time or situation, or when they behave their worst, then what is your love worth? Not much. The times when people behave their worst is when they need love the most. Actually, it may be a cry out for love. Sometimes, it might need to be tough love.
Relationship is ultimately for healing of the individual soul and also together as the whole – a commitment of support, care and nurturing. It’s not for sucking off the good times, the sexual energy, the beauty, the allure, the excitement as in the beginning of romance, or the success, or exploitation of everything you can get, until or before you are seen for who and what you are – then off you go to find fresh prey. Love is for giving, not what you can get. It’s a circle of giving and receiving – not always equal at times, but it will work out for the well-being of both in the long range, when and if both are committed.
Love is not for quitters, losers, the weak, or fair-weather friends. It’s for the winners, healers, tenacious, aware, strong, brave, etc, It’s not a sprint. It’s a long distance run. It’s the most genuine fulfilling place on earth to be and the only thing that lasts through eternity. People in love, oftentimes live longer and stay in better health. And the glow and commitment that can be seen in the faces and energy of those who have made this journey together are palatable as it’s an energy that emits a glow that heals not only themselves, but others and out into the world.
Tools to assist in awareness with opportunity for healing – DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR – memoir/self-help & FEAST OF MEN – story of a woman’s heart. Male/female the most powerful connection/attraction on earth – created differently for respective individual purposes, but equal.
Beautifully written truth. we need to get back to what true love s instead of the focus being on hook ups, sex, changing partners. This piece is timely and incredibly on target. Thank you for you insight and brilliance in the way you express truth.
Wise words lady. We have lost the real meaning of love and commitment and making it into something of no value. This i a big part of why people are so lost and unhappy today. no values morality or no committment. I gave your book Feast of men to my daughter. Thank you for your wisdom and sharing it.
Love it Ayn. Love your thoughts. I am sharing.
thank you or this article. It is god’s truth. It”s not about sex or how many you can sleep with. It’s about commitment. I hadn’t thought about that it’s for healing but now I can see that it is. I am going to order your books.
I say with all honesty and sincerity: You are one of the greatest women on this planet A lot of very expensive and very rare jewelery people don’t know their value until they lose it. In short: I don’t want to lose you, I want you: a sister, a friend and everything is great
A beautiful deep thinker. you are greatness.
We need to get back to the values you write about Ayn. I pray that we do. Some people in America are going off the deep end. Young ones are lost and clueless.
great article. I agree with every word. I wish I could meet you in person. I love reading on your site. It’s comforting, real and has so much wisdom.
Truth.
Thank. You so much
Love equals commitment, and all else is but poetry. – Me. You write great stuff.
Thank you for seeing and expressing like you do. You are a voice of reason. i have been reading your site for years. I love your books. Thank you again for being an uncommon voice of brilliant reason in a lost and troubled world
If only the world was like this like it once was. We are destroying love in this world. Thank you for posting what love is and the adult version of it. Men have turned into weaklings. Woman hate them.
Beautifully expressed from a woman with intensely deep wisdom. I bow before your beauty, your grace and your intellect.
Men turning into women and women turning into men is not helping the love cause.. It’s clouding it all into a sorted dance of perversion. I love your books. LOVE THEM!
You are a goddess. Did God create you right after Eve? You are glorious!
I always value your opinion and looking for what you are up nothing more beautiful than a conservative woman. You are beautiful inside and out!
I am inspired and motivated by your blogs.
I would like to contact you for my new business and for my humanitarian efforts.
Check me out on facebook .
My email address is: [email protected]
You open my eye’s & shut my mouth in letting go of what isn’t & planning on what could be! I am so impressed with your knowledge to help guide people like me who cry pity pity poor me! Thank you!
I’ve been captivated by your writings and your words have a way of stirring the soul. In many of your articles, I’ve felt and thought the same as you. Thank you for using your talents to thoroughly express your feelings, thoughts and the truth. It’s been awhile since I have enjoyed reading certain subjects on your list but you are truly genuine and it shows.
Awesome beauty. Physically well kept. Great fitness. Ageless. Radiant. Genuine. Sexy. Exciting. Sweet all around.
Truth! Finally someone expressing TRUTH! Thank you so much. I love your writings and I miss so very much reading your wisdom on FB. Everyone does. Since you are no longer on it, there is no reason to be there. The wisdom and truth you write is a true gift from God expressed on earth. God bless you, Ayn from the bottom of my heart.
Written perfection.