Intimidation! Intimidating!

Blackwhite30… the definition of intimidating is someone or something that inspires fear or awe.

(adjective) Meeting your favorite celebrity in real life is one example of a situation that might be intimidating.

Intimidating is defined as acting in a way that inspires fear or demands great respect.

(verb) When you threaten a younger child on the bus, until he gives you his lunch money, this is an example of intimidation.

Some use intimidation to get their way, to make a ‘sale’, close a deal, to take advantage of others and some have a persona that is intimidating as in their size, mannerisms, way of speaking, or tone of voice. Some men (women,too) workout and build their muscles up,, in order to ‘appear’ externally intimidating to others, which can be positive, but can also be a distortion… if they are emotionally weak internally. Therefore, their external show of intimidation is just that… a false front. As intimidation is a display of a false soul trying to strong arm, ‘over-power’ others.

Some may think that they ‘need’ to intimidate in order to succeed, or to ‘feel’ better than, when really they are just ‘trying’ to feel ‘equal’ to, as good as, or up to the task, or situation at hand.

Bullies use intimidation in some form or another…

They like, even need, to think they are ‘intimidating’ and that others see them  in this way… as it makes them ‘feel’ powerful and in control.

Think of the bully that intimidates the servers in a restaurant. The bully that intimidates his wife and children so that they succumb to him. The playboy manipulator that seduces then intimidates his prey.

To intimidate, or to ‘appear’ so, is to hold others at arm’s length, so being, or doing so, they don’t get too close to anyone. They are shut down internally and even as they may not completely, or immediately ‘get it’, people realize, they are out for themselves only and anyone else’s needs take second place. As the intimidator has little, if any real regard for anyone but themselves and their goals of what they want.  That is what intimidation is…

Observe Obama and his regime.. threats, fear, and intimidation are their stock in trade.

Intimidation can be the last resort when intellect and clean, honest speak won’t, or don’t work. But it is mostly the action of fools, or bullies, or that of last resort. So-called ‘smooth talkers’ (capable of projecting extreme sincerity when there is none ) incorporate the art of intimidation in their words, intent and agenda. They are not being real, or in any kind of integrity, and they measure each word for the intent and agenda they are after… ‘subtle intimidation’…

Intimidation isn’t always out there, obvious, overt and loud… it can also be subtle, covert, and hidden in and by manipulative words and actions…

People who enjoy intimidating others have a weak, insecure inner-core and their need to be ‘intimidating’ temporarily boosts their weak self-esteem. Many times, they have no ability to sincerely feel their emotions, so they use intimidation to be able to ‘feel’ anything at all. They enjoy watching others feel, emote and even be hurt. They often times walk away from anything real… as they can’t deal with reality in themselves..because they often feel emotionally ‘overwhelmed’ …. so they ‘intimidate’, or ‘manipulate’ others,  instead of honoring their feelings and emotions…

They like to and often do ‘correct’ others and like to prove them ‘wrong’, or make them feel less than in some regard.  They take pride in being the ‘corrector’ … the one who knows the ‘right’ way that people ‘should’ be, or what ‘should’ be done. Intimidators use ‘criticism’ as a tool.  Doing so, helps them to not look at their own flaws… but should you correct them.. they get easily offended because that reveals that you are not intimidated, or in awe of them and that makes them realize their humanity… and that they are flawed also. Also by their use of criticism, insecure people might become intimidated… and the intimidator instinctively knows this.

Example: A man who has weight issues and is insecure about his weight will bring it up allot. Then others around him will find that they begin to feel concerned, or insecure about their weight even when there is no reason to be. This is one example of covert intimidation… that perhaps, you haven’t realized or even thought about… as it’s the subtly of it.

Intimidation fits well with projection. Intimidators ‘project’ their insecurities and lack onto others out of their fear of looking at self. They must dominate and feel in control at all times… feeling vulnerable shakes them to their core.

And they often have a need to feel ‘larger than life’. So they hold people at arm’s length and hence, intimidate… even as they may, at times, give the impression of being able to feel… they really don’t, or can’t, or if they do for a moment, they find a way to run from it, suppress, or deny it. As ‘feeling’ and being sensitive is only an act in their ‘intimidation ploy’.

They are bossy, bullying, critical and insincere… and they are easily threaten internally.  But will never let anyone know… as their fall back is to try and intimidate… to be too busy, too important, or off onto another conquest, or activity, etc. Their life is what’s important not others.

Think of many ‘actors and stars’… they are so weak internally that they need, or even crave admiration in order to feel bigger than life and to feed their ego… so the art of being intimidating in some form is their the way to interact and to cope.

Intimidation and manipulation… go hand in hand. It’s an ego-boost, and those with weak ego development like to feel and ‘act’ like they have the ability to intimidate.

We have all been intimidating at times and all been intimidated at other times…

It’s how often it’s used in your repertoire that creates your reality that is revealing. If you enjoy intimidating others, and it makes you feel good to have them think you are intimidating, and you use it often, you need to perhaps, look at why. That is if you are able to do so. HA!

I had a man tell me recently that women are ‘intimidated’ by him. HA! HA!…right! I wonder why…?! “Hey baby, I am so cool and great, I know I am intimidating.” He was attempting to have me be intimidated by his comment. HA! HA!

So, if and when you sense someone is trying to overpower you with intimidation tactics, pause, take a step back, and evaluate why?

Also, ponder this – Who or what intimidates you and why? Whatever it is will reveal a part of who you are.  And are you easily intimidated and when do you display intimidation?

I know I have used it as a last resort…. like dealing with a cable company, or some other situation that has tried my nerves to the breaking point. In my personal interaction though, I never want others to feel intimidated. I want them to feel seen, heard, cared for and appreciated. As to intimidate destroys intimacy… and that is what an intimidator wants… as they can’t deal with intimacy…

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