A woman told me that she was interacting with a man over the Internet… and they had communicated for about a month. That he was planning on moving to her area and wanted to meet her. He sounded fairly interesting to her, although physically, not all that attractive, but she was open to meeting him in person to see further.
Several times, during their phone conversations, he said things that she questioned… that came across a bit insulting, or as if he didn’t know how to talk to a woman and she wasn’t sure why. So, she confronted him and he would say he didn’t mean it, or ‘she’ took it the wrong way, that she didn’t understand his sense of humor, or that he was ‘tired’. At times, he mumbled, talked fast and stepped on her words when she was talking with him…
She asked him if he dated often because he appeared to be working all the time and seemed to be awkward in his communication and he talked fast almost like he was out of breath, at times … and she wondered if, perhaps, he was just nerdy, nervous, or inexperienced with women. He responded that he dated some… and one person in particular, but that it was ending.
She inquired, “Why is it ending?” While thinking, if he’s dating someone, why is he pursuing me?
His answer, “I don’t trust her and it’s a long, complicated story. I will tell you about it later.”
She then wisely asks, “Are you having sex with her?” He replies, “Yes.”
Him: “It’s convenient.”
She continues. “So you are having sex with someone you are ending it with and don’t trust because it’s convenient, while pursuing me. If we meet and like one another, will you be having convenient sex with this woman, you don’t trust? And does she know you are pursuing others? As she ponders, so this man thinks of sex with a woman as a convenience. How disgusting and he is actually saying this to me…
His response. “She is, too.”
Her come back. “Oh I see. Are you hearing what you are telling me?”
His come back. “I am tired. I don’t do well when I am tired.”
She: “How would you feel and what would you think, if I told you I was having ‘convenient’ sex with someone.”
He: “Umm…. well … that would be your business.”
She: “I don’t have convenient sex. So why don’t you go have your ‘convenient’ sex with that woman you don’t trust. I am going to pass on meeting you.”
What would you think and what would you have done?….