Monthly Archives: June 2011

Friendship, Politics

Lunch with my ‘little liberal friend’…

Did you ‘get’ the ‘Scarface movie reference? “Say hello to my little friend.” HAHAHA! Anyway…

Okay,I’ve known her for over 20 years and we have been though much together…we have many beliefs and values that are similar and some that are in exact opposition. We usually get along and have a great time, but then sometimes, we argue and it can become intense…politics is what does it…In my opinion, somewhere she took a strange turn in her life…fell on her head or something… I believe in Christ and God and she believes in God…
I think Obama is the worst president. And she likes him. I think Obama’s healthcare is socialism and she likes it.

Recently, on a hot summer day, we had lunch at an excellent Italian restaurant in Plano, called Isabella’s. I highly recommend it. My liberal friend and I have always enjoyed eating and cooking together.
 
We shared pasta, a veggie sandwiche, and an exquisite apple tarte for dessert… while we caught up on what’s going on in our lives and the world…

Talk, fun, eating, talk, fun, eating…

Then….

The topic turns to politics!

My face pretty much says it all…
 
Do you think conservatives and liberals have difficulty maintaining  friendships? I didn’t realize that she and I were so different in this area, until Obama appeared on the scene.

Side note … I don’t have a bald spot on the side of my head.. my hair must’ve been combed strangely, or it was the lighting or something?… I mean, there’s important then there’s really important…

Look to the left and click to follow… 

Self-help

The Blame Game…who plays it and why?…

Almost everyone plays it occasionally because it is easier than looking at yourself.

“Blame.” The mere word suggests that something shady is going on. “Blame” hardly ever has a positive ring to it, because it usually implies trying to “pin” fault on another.
 
Many of us learn how to do it when we are little by watching our parents and peers. A whole lot of us never learn how to actually be accountable, or take responsibility for our own actions. After all, that would mean we’d have to look at our own stuff, and God forbid, do some work on ourselves.

Human beings generally resist change, and most, downright despise having to work for anything that doesn’t hail instant reward, or gratification. We live in a society that teaches us that we should have a sense of entitlement. So, looking the other way is not only acceptable, but makes life easier. We don’t like getting involved, not with others, and sure as hell not with ourselves. So, we do a lot of blaming, denying, avoiding and “existing”. Most of us would rather engage in the ‘status quo’ than question the system.

If we do this year after year, we end up with mediocre, miserable lives, which we blame on our surroundings, circumstances, upbringing, or on our lack of (beauty, wealth, health, etc.).

When we blame, it’s an implication that we are right. Being right is the number one reason we fight, or disagree, because ‘ego’ keeps us feeling alive and ‘okay’.

We also imply that we don’t need to adjust our own attitude. We do this by making the same points, with the same people with the same lack of success. This truly is the the best example of insanity. When we run out of excuses, we fall into the victim mode and look for those in agreement. We assemble; in other words, we find those who will agree with us. (interesting ‘community organizer’ types comes to mind) 

We keep building an opinion poll, until we have successfully drowned out any logic, or reason, and hence, continue on our path of craziness.

Why is it so easy to do this? Because one of the most feared traits with most human beings is conflict or confrontation. Therefore, it is much easier to find those who agree, even if it’s silently, than those who call us on our own crap. And of course, because the ‘majority’ consists of (excuse the harsh word) cowards, it is easier to get the buy-in from the majority.

Take a good look around you and tell me how many inspiring people you see? Now take a look and tell me how many followers you see? Those who fall into the blame game are usually followers. Inspiring people stand out, take the blame, state their beliefs, go against the grain and don’t mind conflict.  They enjoy the challenge and the subsequent growth.

We are, by design, herd animals and we function better when we feel validated by the herd.

We are so easily manipulated via our emotions that we follow all kinds of ‘crazy’ ideas, ideologies, statements and people. This is how religion and politics work. They appeal to our emotions, not our logic, and the fact remains that most of us are emotional creatures, even if we are totally unaware of it.
 
If I tell you the things that feed and validate your fears, paranoia and insecurities, I will not only have an impact on you, but possibly a
follower, too. (dictators are great at this)
 
Weak people will do the most blaming and weak people are easily led. A strong, secure, self-aware person can accept blame and can look at self. In fact, they encourage this for their self-growth which is more important to them than getting away with something.

It ‘appears’ as if inspiring people have the most followers, but sadly, it only ‘appears’ that way. The ones who tell us what we want to hear and ask us for the least amount of effort will generally get our voice and devotion. (Obama)

In theory, we want to be challenged, but in practice we want not to move a finger and have things fall into our laps. Hence, the blame game. And most play it in some form almost every single day.

Do you play the blame game? Can you recognize it when you do? And how often do you play it? Ever thought about it? Huh? Have you?

Family

We are who we are because of who brought us into this world…

the example that they displayed, the environment that they created and their ancestral lineage. And this makes us all individuals…

Were you a planned for child with basinet and layette awaiting your arrival? Or were you unplanned for, an accident of two teenagers? Did you come from a night of random, meaningless, mindless sex? If so, you have much to deal with as you grow as a human being…

Or were your parents two adults that knew what bringing a child into this world entails and the responsibility of it?  Even if your parents were thinking about you, and what future you might have before you were conceived, you will still have trials and challenges in your life. Were your parents clueless, reckless and only concerned with themselves? Did your Dad stay with your Mother and help rear you? Do you even know who your father is?

These familial beginnings create who you are and how you perceive your world. And none of us are the same. Even siblings reared in the same environment have different imprints and perceptions. If your parents did drugs, steal, or live off the government, that is probably what you will also do. It’s a rare one that pulls out of their familial examples and environment, especially if it is a destructive and abusive one. But occasionally, these bad examples can show a person exactly what they don’t want to be… so an opposition can occur.

Families create who children are and who they become. Families are the backbone of our country.  A person’s parents are their lineage, their example, the rock that they break themselves upon, the abuse that they endure, or the solidness of love that sustains them, or maybe, a bit of it all. It’s where self-esteem lives, or dies. It’s where morals, honor and standards are instilled. It’s where we learn how to interact and treat others. It’s the basis for most everything that we are….

It’s not the schools. It’s more the family. When I grew up, I felt like school was an interruption to my education. I was mostly bored while there. Sure, I had friends and learned some…umm, or did I really? Well, I learned what not to do, or be and that’s a certainty… many kids smoked and were promiscuous and this was not me. I rejected peer pressure because of who I am and what I was taught at home. I read voraciously and studied on my own and went to ballet everyday after school. My life began once school was over. School was something I endured…

I stayed home from school when our decorator came, as I loved to ask her questions and learn from her. I learned more from her than I ever did at school and I later became a decorator.

It’s the family, the home environment, what you see as an example and what you are exposed to through your family that makes the most profound imprint on you.

That is why so many in our world today lack in manners, morals, values, motivation, refinement and common sense. Little is being seen as an example in families even if they do have a family environment. Many families today are fragmented, broken, and corrupted internally as well as externally.

Looking to the government and the schools has and is creating a disaster. It’s the example of two parents, a traditional family that creates an internally solid person and therefore, a solid world.

I am not ignoring that alternative families can be successful, but it is more difficult and why risk the life of a child to chance and experimentation?

A child is a terrible thing to waste. Bringing children into this world is the most important and profound decision that most will ever make.  And now, we have more unwed mothers, absent fathers and self-indulgent, irresponsible people bringing children into this world and it is lowering the standards of our world to almost nothing These people, many times, rely on the government to take care of them and their children and it is disgusting.

I say back to the traditional family, and Judeo/Christian values to lift our world back to higher standards. Families take care of their own. The government is no ones’ family and those that rely on it, or are dependant on it, are fools that have been fooled.

Just as with a doctor… they can’t ‘make’ you healthy… only you can take care of your health… a doctor assists when there is a need. Relying on a doctor to ‘give’ you health is as ignorant as relying on the government to give you a lifestyle.

The family is key … everything else is secondary and the government is nothing, but an entity that should be small and play a minuscule part in anyone’s life.

We are individuals. Not equal, but with equal opportunity in our individual circumstances that are God given. No one knows the reasons for your circumstances, but you and God…
Agree or not?

Women In Real Life

Women! Have you ever sold out?…

I was having lunch awhile back with a girlfriend and after we ate we joined two of her ‘friends’ (acquaintances) at another table for dessert. One lady was so obsessed about her weight that she would not eat the gram cracker crust on the key lime pie that we all shared, which balanced out to two bites a piece. And this woman was as thin as thin could be… too thin… But she sure guzzled the wine…not worried about the empty calories there…Okay! …

So … the topic is selling out… The other woman who had a dry wit started talking about sex, that she only ever has it, so her husband will continue paying her bills. She went on about how the more she has sex with her husband, the more she can spend, and he won’t complain. The overly thin woman concurred as they shared ‘their sex for goods’ trials and exploits with bitterness and an underlying sadness in their voices…
 
As I chuckled with the group, internally, I felt sick and sorry for these women. Were they ‘joking’, blowing off steam, or what? Umm… but usually, what you joke about is what is true, what you are hiding, or what is bothering you…

My friend and I locked eyes and knowingly smiled at one another … we didn’t fit with these women .. but for some reason, my friend endured it… I was ready to exit…

To break it up, I excused myself to the ladies’ room. When I stood up, the overly thin woman, looked me up and down… as I chuckled internally… ummm…trying to intimidate me, jealous much, or what? It was too immature and stupid for words…

I felt so out of their loop… I can’t imagine feeling, or joking like these women were doing… the more that they carried on about it, as they laughed about their husbands and their deeds of doing … “Oh baby, baby! Baby you’re so good! Oh Baby!” … well, I won’t get too graphic…

If I ever felt like that, where  I needed to fake it, in that manner, I got out of the relationship fast…Lies built on lies, built on lies, just produces more lies. I felt so sorry for these particular ladies who lunch, with their overly thin bodies, wine glasses in hand, designer dudes and purses.

Driving away, I felt so glad to be me… I have never settled, or used a man, or anyone for that matter for money, or goods. I have never sold myself on any level. I respect myself and others too much to do so. And I eat the crust on my desserts… in fact… YUM!

I am free to be me. I have gone hungry in my life. I have been broke. I have been scared to death being alone. I have gotten out of, and ended marriages, and relationships that were unhealthy for my soul, that were untrue on some level, and that tried to diminish my spirit. But in being always so true to myself,  I have been hurt to my core, and taken down to my knees, but I got up again and always felt proud of me. And very glad to be out and away from the insidious situation.

How many women are selling out on some level? Maybe, not for goodies, but to keep the peace, for a place to live, because they are afraid, or too insecure to be alone, or they need the title of being married to give them an identity, etc.?
 
How many unhappily married women are there? And how many are envious of women with freedom … freedom in their spirit. Those who don’t need something ‘designer’ to define them, or some man to pay them, or give them their identity, or the over need to police every bite of food to be, and feel a certain weight, in order, to feel worthy, or the need to gossip, in order, to make themselves feel better than, or the need to look someone up and down like they were in a high school corridor, so unsure of themselves that they create cliques, rumors and bully.

Do you think that many women compromise themselves in some manner or form? Starving themselves to look what ‘they think’ makes them look good when they look gauntly awful. And having sex so that they can carry some over-priced designer purse? Just two examples…do you have more?…

Do you, can you see, or tell, if you are you selling out, or compromising yourself on some level?

Inspirational/Spiritual

Would you sell out?…

Say you are a successful politician, or business person with a family and a great life. You have ‘tried’ to live ‘right’ all your life, as you have a strong internal moral adjuster, that guides you in what to do and what not to do (most of the time that is, no one is perfect.)

You love your family and want the best for them. You have worked hard to provide a great life for yourself and your family.

Things are rolling along great…

Then you are asked by the ‘higher ups’, or someone behind the scenes who pulls the strings … to do something that goes against everything that you know to be right and good. Your first response is ‘absolutely not.’ But they insist. You lie awake at night sweating and pondering as they put the pressure on.

Then the threats begin…either do what they are asking, or that one nightstand at that convention will be exposed to the media and your life will go up in smoke. You’ve seen them do it to others and held yourself so above those scandals and all that. Besides, it was only one night … one night of too much to drink and…besides…

They continue to threaten that either you vote on his bill, or cheat the client, or…

If you don’t, ‘they’ threaten, you’re life will be ruined… you will lose your job and position. Your wife will probably leave you. You will lose the country club membership and your children their private school. You will lose your house and everything that makes you ‘you’ and your life worthwhile, and all that you’ve worked for, tried so hard to attain and to keep and to hold…

And the finally threat is that you and your family will be killed…
 
What would you do? Are there degrees to what you would do to keep your life? Would you cheat a client, lie to the American people, vote for a bill that you knew was corrupt and bad, would you lie, cheat, or kill to keep your life as it is?

Would you sell out? What would you do?…

Clearly, ‘they’ know everyone’s weaknesses and things hidden, mistakes, and cover-ups…recall the movie THE FIRM… and if you don’t have anything, they can easily and will manufacture it… after all, all it takes is a leak to the media that ‘they’ own.

I wonder how much of this actually really goes on? What do you think?

SO WHAT IS YOUR SELL OUT POINT? EVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT? IF NOT, DO SO NOW…

Politics

When did people become like commodities to…

the government…actually, not ‘like’, but are. 
 
Commodity – things of value of uniform quality produced in large quantities to be used or consumed.

Did it start when the population grew at such a rapid pace with so many giving no thought about how to care for themselves, so those with ingenuity decided to make these people dependant and become their ‘rulers’.
 
In order, that ‘they’, ‘the self-proclaimed elite’, will have power and control over others’ lives and have the ability to extract income, energy, talent, and even individual indentities from those who produce, along with the ability and power to give it to those who don’t.

Therefore, giving them the ability to control everyone, giving themselves life long jobs, and professions with benefits, power and control over all earthly resources doled out as they see fit and at what ‘price’ they deem and create. Even now, controlling the market place and businesses and where profits go by legislation to force certain types of purchases. 

Or was it always this way? Did it begin with the beginning of humanity with the desire of some to control others? Is it just the difference in good and evil being played out continually in the world?

The intense evil that cares not for people, or humanity, but only cares for itself and its own insatiable needs. Even if it falls in on itself and destroys its own, this evil will continue and perpetuate.

The current example is the government’s rapid and bloated growth that can’t be sustained without taking more and more from the people.  Ultimately toppling it all, confiscating all resources, with the government playing ‘God’ concerning who gets what and when… 
  
What first began as good, a pure thought, can easily become corrupted, by those of evil intent.  Hiding behind love, love, love… is evil, evil, evil…

Many people can so easily be led because they haven’t a solid foundation of common sense, morals, real love, intellect, family, and values because they are weak and only looking for pleasure and a way to escape their feelings, emotions and accountability for any behaviors or actions. Therefore, they succumb to addictions of all sorts and varieties… and this is the goal of evil. Evil wants the family fragmented, values lost and morals nowhere to be found.

This kind of life and existence is created and brought forth for the ego, for the consumption of others. The need to rule, dominate and control for self-gain, ill-intent to feed the ego of those riding on the backs of others.

Because while some say that they are trying to be ‘fair’. It appears to me as if it’s a con to control and destroy those who don’t and won’t agree with them.

While some say they don’t want war, they are creating the very atmosphere for war and chaos on a global measure.

Nothing is as it appears and people as ‘individuals’ are becoming nothing, but commodities to the government. Individual rights, likes, desires, and freedoms are being taken away daily. The human individual is being digitally controlled, slotted, and watched for the benefit and control of the ‘government’…after all, commodities, chattel, property have no right to choose, object, or to feel… they are not individuals, but are objectified and used for consumption or benefit.
 
Thoughts?… 

Self-help

Stand naked before a mirror…

a three way full length mirror, or just in your bathroom, or somewhere in your house… but perhaps, avoid doing this in a Neiman Marcus’ dressing room because the lighting there is terrible, reveals every ounce of cellulite… oops! But that’s not the point…

The point is to stand naked before a mirror and look at yourself, really look… front, back, sides, and all around the turn back to the front and look clearly into your eyes. Do you smile, cry, laugh, or frown at what you see? Perhaps, you do all of these.

It’s fine to want to improve on what you see, but can you accept what you see today? Can you look at yourself as you stand this very day and smile at what is being relfected?

It’s doesn’t matter what you look like. What matters is, your perception of what you see, when you look at yourself without the clothing image that you project to the world? Because this is the real you. The you without adornment… so do you like yourself or what?…

I do this about three times a year… sometimes more… Sometimes, I hesitate, at first, but after after I do it. I like myself more. Sure, I may decide I need to workout a bit more, or I may think, ‘hey pretty darn good’, or ‘aren’t physicial bodies interesting’, or ‘umm, so this is me, the real me’ …  something along those lines … But I am always glad that I did it, because it makes me feel more in touch with myself.

Warning! Don’t do it after eating pizza and drinking beer… although this shouldn’t really matter… but for some it might send you into a depression that you never recover from…HAHAHAHA! It shouldn’t, but it might…

It’s nice to do it… in the morning before, or after your shower… or in the evening before you retire…

As a couple, I have done this with both of us in the bathroom… nude and it’s really a connecting experience… to feel fully accepted… But I have found those that can’t or won’t do this… those who can’t look at themselves fully nude in acceptance… have difficulty with self-esteem and are critical of others as well as themselve.

Years ago, I had surgery and the man I was in a relationship with helped changed my dressings. He saw me nude, smelly and not looking good at all. We had a special connection and to this day… he sees me clearly and I see him… and this bond is healing.

The point is that, many of us rarely, if ever, look at ourselves naked. Few of us love ourselves enough to look at ourself in all our humanity, in all our humanness.
 
Look at your skin, touch it. Examine your wrinkles and folds. Look at your shape, accept it and love it. See and accept who you really are without your clothes on. Look into your eyes and see who you really are.

Can you do this? Try it.. and see what you feel like then share with us…

You don’t need to use your real name… it’s our secret. Really it is!

After you do this, I bet you will feel a closeness to yourself that you haven’t felt in a long time… Love your body, love your soul and live the life that will allow you to do this without shame or repulsion. Children do this all the time…run around naked and look at themselves in the mirror…

When you really can and do see yourself, you feel better about everything. It’s when you hide who you are from yourself that you feel separate from self and from others, a bit rotten, and try to create illusions in your mind and that of others about who you are, or who you want people to think that you are.

After doing this, put on a great outfit, do your make-up (if you are a female) and meet the world with a refreshed confidence and air of inner knowing… an inner knowing that you really know who you are…

If you can’t really look at yourself, how can you truly see another?

Self-help

I have noticed that people who tell you up front…

and continually what and who they are… are usually not what they tell you. Or they are so insecure that they are trying to convince both you and themselves who and what they are…

And those that tell you continually what they are ‘trained’ to do usually aren’t that good at what they do…

As in… Obama continually telling us that he is the President. Like we don’t know that he is…

I tried a hair stylist once that told me repeatedly that she was a ‘stylist’ … she was the worst that I have ever been to…

A doctor that tells you repeatedly that they are the ‘doctor’ … watch out! (concerning medical issues, be your own advocate)

A person that constantly tells you that they always tell the truth … watch out! If this is true, why do they need to tell you that they do?

People who repeatedly tell you that they are spiritual or religious… watch out? Perhaps, they are telling you this, in order, that you ‘think’ them ‘good’, so that you will then trust them and they can come in for the kill.

Men who inform you that they are good in bed… watch out!

A woman that tells you that she is sexy… watch out!

In college, I dated a guy that on the first several dates talked about sex alot and told me repeatedly how sexy he was… I, of course, ignored what he was saying… then he kissed me… AND it was like kissing a wall… not sexy or sensual at all!

Sensual, sexy people usually don’t say a word about it… it is emitted through their very being and essence…

I have found that people who are good at what they do, don’t need to continually tell you who they are, or what they do … they just do it! They just are, and they know who they are, and it translates into their life in every way and all its forms…

It’s how a person behaves and their actions that tells you, who, and what they are, and what they can, or can’t do…

Those trying so hard to tell you who they are, what they can do for you, or about their character are usually all talk and no go…

As in Obama… sorry, had to say it!

As in talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words…
both true adages… I am seeing this more today than ever before.

Have you found this to be true?…