ANGER! CONFRONTATION!

by Ann
Make peace by confronting your anger…
Anger is a strong emotion; created by feelings that are oriented toward some real or supposed grievance. Expressing anger as it occurs, by confronting it, helps to release the feelings that create the emotion of anger.

 A disconnect to your feelings and, therefore from yourself can occur when there is an inability to express any of our natural emotions. If suppressed, feelings that create the emotion of anger can turn inward to create addictions of all kinds and, or passive aggressive behaviors.  

Addictions are obvious; over-eating, anorexia, drinking, drugs, smoking, and sex, etc.

Passive, Aggressive behaviors are not as obvious. And these behaviors can be to self, to others, or to both. Passive, aggressive behaviors may include; not speaking out about what is really bothering you, sabatoging life experiences, placating, and being overly-polite, or sarcastic communication, approach, avoidance, among others.

Examples: not returning phone calls in a timely manner, being cronically late to meetings and appointments, failing to complete tasks, not being responsible and doing what you know should be done.
 
Passive, aggressive behaviors may also be; being overly responsible and weighing yourself down with tasks and busyness, so you won’t have to stop to think, much less feel what is really bothering you. And some do all this while scurring about with a smile, underwhich lies seething anger that is being turned inward onto self.

This clearly can be destructive to your health. Suppression of angry feelings can literally eat you up inside. A disconnect from emotions creates a restless, internal zombie, that is  a person ‘trying’ desperately to feel, or desperately to escape, in order, to not feel, or to create distraction and excitement; as in excessive gaity and seeking exciting events or anything that will capture attention away from what is really bothering them.

conflict confrontation pictures - Conflict pictureConfrontation is defined as a bold challenge deriving from discord resulting from a clash of ideas or opinions. Confrontation is conflict and out of it can come understanding. It may create cooperation and it can clear the air.

Running, avoiding, being pleasing and sweet, no matter what comes at you, can create a bubbling resentment that leads to passive, aggressive behavior to yourself and to others and, or  result in explosive anger at inappropriate times.

Some people are afraid of, or avoid confrontation at all costs. They pull their head in like a turtle and smile sweetly, say only pleasantries, talk in sweet tones and avoid. Or they may project their feelings onto others. Since, they can’t see or recognise feelings in their self.

Some think that confrontation is scary or not a good thing. And some that avoid confrontation may also be avoiding self-accountability. To state, I just don’t want to talk about that, or I don’t like confrontations, may be a person that doesn’t want accountability for their own words, actions, or behaviors. If you don’t confront others, then does it let you you off the hook, too? Thus, you avoid the need to confront yourself on your behaviors.

Confrontation
can be, not only a good thing, but a brave challenge to undertake. If it clears the air, it can lead to cooperation and a release to healing that promotes a real internal peace.

Everyone has their own style, but at times, confrontation can change the outcome, even the world, while running away and avoidance…??? Well,it might keep the peace for the moment, but can wreck havoc on the body, mind and spirit.

People who can get things off their chests in an honest manner, most of the time, don’t take stress into their bodies. Therefore, they live a healthier psycological and physical existence.

On the flip side, too much confrontation can cause stress in yourself and others. There is a balance to everything. There’s a time to confront and a time to walk away. True wisdom is knowing the difference.

The key is to know when to do what, and to not be afraid to confront something, that may, if not addressed, you might carry unknowingly inside yourself that might be doing harm to your body, mind and spirit.

All emotions derive from feelings and are worthwhile. The ability to feel is a wonderful thing!  We are sentient beings whose purpose is to feel. All of our emotions have a reason for being. Emotions are just your heart and mind reflecting to you what is going on inside yourself.

To disconnect from one emotion, such as anger, and you will disconnect from the other emotions, too. The natural flow of all feelings and emotions is what is healthy, but being stuck in one too long and it becomes a distortion.

Separate yourself from your anger and you separate from yourself. It’s okay to be and to feel angry at times, and it is okay to have confrontation. It is apart of processing life and experinces.

What is your predominate anger style? Do you acknowledge anger? Do you confront it? Do you run away from it?  How do you handle your anger?

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