Tag Archives: sex

Shades of Grey = dysfunction, not sexy, damage, boring, bland, blah!

nightshirtpolkadots1I didn’t read the book, but saw the movie…

All it was is a depiction of a damaged child/man who can’t connect in love, therefore,  uses control and domination through sex  to make himself feel. He projects his damage and pain through punishment onto women in order to escape his own.

It was more sad than sexy. In fact, nothing about it was sensual or sexy. There are more and more people  today who are damaged as this man is depicted, who can’t look at self long enough to heal, who go from person to person focusing on sexuality for escape, thrill and the high and even when given the chance at connecting with a loving person is too emotionally damaged and fearful of becoming vulnerable to connect.

Love,  passion and commitment are what makes sex, sexy. Sure games can be fun and taking it to individual fantasies and edges can be exciting on occasion, but that in itself means nothing and lasts less than that.  Most mature adults recognize and understand this, immature, inexperienced youth won’t and don’t and some will see this movie as ‘cool’ showing things to try before they are emotionally and sexually developed which can then lead to distorting their perceptions of sex and love.

I found nothing sexy about this movie. I found it pretty boring and blah. The actors while attractive had no chemistry and that is another aspect that makes sex, sexy… chemistry along with personality.

To me, this was a psychological study of an emotionally damaged man.

At least, in the movie, she left him. I think so anyway. I exited to the ladies’ room several times, I was so bored.  But he soiled an inexperienced and pure person to his perversions.

Now, what would have made it interesting is, had love been able to break through his damage and pain, to break him open to real love. But he was too damaged, weak and fearful,  just like some in the world  who can’t commit and focus on sex, instead of  love, emotions and feelings.

I have no idea what all the ‘to do’ was about this story. I found it mundanely  dull. I know that’s redundant but so was the movie.

Why women like it, might it be that the thought, idea and fantasy of a ‘powerful/successful’ man taking control in the bedroom, and, or in their life, might be appealing because now days,  so many men  seem to have lost their manhood and are looking for a mother. And a man looking for a mother has no sex appeal. But in actuality,  the  sad, damaged man in the movie needed to be mothered, in orde,r to heal and possibly be able to love.

In a real enduring relationship, each person plays all the roles of male/female respectively…  as in intimacy, healing, growth, vulnerablity, empathy, strength, weakness, sex, sensuality, child, parent, teacher, student, lead, follower, depending on time, place and circumstance, etc..

Nothing is more sensual and sexy than an emotionally strong man who can take control in the bedroom, but ‘control’ is a shared two-way experience and a man who is too weak and insecure to let a woman take the lead to balance out the experiences is not sexy for long.

In my opinion, there were not many shades of grey in this movie, there was only one and it was blah!

What inspires you to love?

TreeAnn6Is it beauty, fun, kindness? Is it sex, liking the samethings, or experiences shared? Is it commonalities, differences, or the energy you feel when you are with the person? Is it their actions, words, or that their words and actions match? Is it consistancy, compatiblity, tension or comfort?

Is it inconsistancy, uncertainty, excitement, thrill,  or danger?

Different things attract  the inspiration to love. Some of the attractions are healthy and some not. Sometimes, it’s a mixture of the good and the bad? Some people think they love someone when they feel like they felt with their parents or caregivers. They attract to the familiarity of whatever they experienced then, so it ‘feels’ like love, ‘like home’, when perhaps, it isn’t. It’s just familiar, like a habit, but  it’s what ‘feels’ comfortable, like an old shoe and so they think it’s love.

If the past was healthy and nurturing that is great, but if it was one of discord, addictions or dyfunction, not so great. Those imprinted patterns are difficult to break and they can guide either to goodness or destruction.

So, ponder what inspires you to love and attracts you to someone as it’s the basis of the relationship, its journey, its joys, its pain, its success, its harm, or failure.

“But does he who loves someone on account of beauty really love that person? No; for the small-pox, which will kill beauty without killing the person, will cause him to love her no more.

And if one loves me for my judgment, memory, he does not love me, for I can lose these qualities without losing myself. Where, then, is this Ego, if it be neither in the body nor in the soul? And how love the body or the soul, except for these qualities which do not constitute me, since they are perishable? … We never, then, love a person, but only qualities.”  Blaise Pascal’s “Pensees”

The above is an example of shallow love…

We all lose our ‘qualities’ eventually  and when we do, is when we will know if we are loved and if we love.

The awareness, blessing and grace to love without the distraction of qualities and traits is  a genuine gift and if we love sincerely love  will  eventually evolve into this.

What attracts you to love someone? Ever really thought about it deeply, beyond the face, figure, abs, smile, etc?

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

Oscar Wilde

Look to the left and click to follow…

“The gift from God for the ability…

to love is its own reward – nothing else is required.” Ann Dillard ???????????????????????????????

Love is not about recieving, getting, or taking, it’s about giving.  I am a giver. I was born that way and I have had much pain in my life for being so and I didn’t/couldn’t understand why? Why was I hurt, betrayed and taken advantage of by those I loved and who professed to love me? Would a time ever arrive where I felt loved, nurtured and given to?

In the past,  felt I needed love, so I loved the wrong people. I loved those without the ability to love me in return. I loved people that took from me, used me and took advantage of the naivete of my pure heart.

Then I had the realization… that my ability to love was a gift from God and nothing else was needed or required as that gift of the ability to love was the greatest gift that anyone could ever have and I became grateful, thankful and full and without the need to be loved by others. I feel love and know what love is and what love isn’t and that is a blessed gift.

I have a full heart… and even as many have tried to take it from me and to destroy my heart because of my gift of love from God and my ability to love, my heart has stayed pure, whole becoming stronger and wiser. Sure, there were times, I didn’t think I could live throught it and felt so devastated that I thought I would die baring the pain of it all, but I always turned to God and by so doing my heart came back to the fullness of love. I love me now fully and completely so the desire to be loved by others is not there. If I am fine, and if I am not fine. It’s about them, not me because I know me. I know my heart and I love them both.

Love is not sex. Love is not getting. Love is not taking. Love is giving. People walk around looking for love, wanting to be loved, needing love wanting someone to fill them up.  Why don’t people, instead desire, think and say, I want to love, I want to give love, I want to love someone? They don’t because they are lost and seeking… instead of found and giving. 

I have never really been or felt loved in my life except from my father and God. I never felt loved by my mother. She didn’t have that ability. She was a good mother in ways and a horrible one in others. I never felt loved by my siblings ever, even as I gave them love, they would hurt me time and again. I knew one of my grandmothers loved me and a grandfather loved me. Another grandmother claimed to love me and did in ways, but she was actually too selfish for me to feel that love fully.  All human beings are flawed in varying degrees… only God’s love is pure. And the closer a person is to God the more that they know what real love is…

Men were after me for sex, that they found me attractive, or that my Father was successful so they wanted that association. But I never felt truly loved only that I made them feel good about themselves. It always felt shallow to me on levels and soon proved to be that.

Sex comes after love… and sex is not love. Sex is one expression of love.

As I have lived and aged, I realize that none of that mattered. What mattered is that I loved. Iloved my mother, even though I never had a real conversation with her. I loved my sisters and helped them even though all they did was harm to me. They never helped me even once in my life. I loved other relatives and they loved me when it was convenient for them, and that is key. People can only love as much as that which they have inside. If they have no love inside, they look to get and take instead of to give.

But love derives from self love. I am not talking selfish love because love is selfless. I am talking love of self …  genuine love from God… that gives a person the realization to care for themselves, their body, mind and spirit, to stay connected to God. Addictions distort and interrupt that connection even completely breaking it and that is what I see today, addictions replacing God’s love.  The focus is on sex, escape, greed, material things, envy, immorality, etc. Love has been/is distorted on earth and becomes more so it seems each time I look. Men focus on sex like I have never seen before. It’s pathetic. Women have sex like men…and that is not in the innate nature of the feminine. Love has been propagandized into being something it isn’t.

When you know the love of God and stand strong in that love, you are quick to recognize that which is counterfeit.

I know I am blessed. I am loved by God and I realize now that I know love… real love because I have the ability to love and in that love I can discern truth from lie, good from bad…   I have grown in that love to know, it matters not that I have not been or felt loved, what matters is that I have the ability to love.

So when I die, it matters not that I never felt loved on earth. What matters is that I die knowing, I leave earth in love and go back to the love of God.

And this knowing comes from awhole lot of living and  the love in my heart.. .

Look to the left and click to follow…

Enough about politics, let’s talk men and sex…

What makes a man ‘worthy’ of having sex with a woman?…Ever thought about it? From what I am hearing… not many men are…. and this makes ???????????????????????????????me want to EXPLODE!!!

Example: A man has never met a woman and he emails her this…”Here is a question we can discuss on the phone. What are your feelings about being bestfriends in addition to a quality love relationship? That means different things to different people. We can discuss that.”

What??? How can you be lovers if you can’t be friends? This man must be emotionally stunted somewhere in his psyche. He’s an older man and not 16. HA and oh, really!? How presumptuous that he dictates what can be discussed in their ‘first’ conversation. Clearly, a control freak and control freaks aren’t sexy and don’t make good friends or lovers…

Another man inquires in the second hour of a first date. “Are you a good kisser?” Then a bit later asks, “Are you passionate? Then before, she answers, he states, “I can tell that you are.” So, if the guy can tell this, why did he ask?

A really sensuous and passionate man doesn’t need or even think to ‘ask’ these kind of stupid and premature questions. He gets to know the woman and let’s it unfold at her pace… And if he is sensuous, he can sense her as she reveals herself (should she choose to) and this occurs as she gets to know him and feels trust and security are established and this does not occur in the ‘first’ meeting or date. It occurs with time spent together and different experiences and consistency in his attention towards her. Otherwise, a wise woman leaves him in her wake because he’s not worthy of her…

Besides, what would a person answer, when asked, “Are you a good kisser?” NO!?! HA! Why can’t men see how ridiculous these kind of questions are and how useless and stupid.

Men like this are of course, ‘trying’ to turn the direction toward sex… when it is premature and doing it in this manner is a turn off to a sensuous woman. Now maybe, whores, and sexually promiscuous women respond to lame attempts. But that is another topic… or is it? Are some men treating all women like sluts because of the behaviors of ‘some’ or even ‘most’ women these days? And the example shown in movies, the media and on slimy talkshows.. ‘Sex and the City’ has done much to destroy respect for sex…

A man also stated, “I think I ‘should’ kiss you.” to a woman on a first date.What? Ha!.. Interpretation…I ‘want’ to kiss you….and don’t really care if you are interested in kissing me…
again he’s testing the water to see if he can get laid on a ‘first’ date. She responds. “I don’t move this fast.” His come back. “I am in sales. I like to make the close.”

HAHAHA! Well, buddy, she isn’t buying what you are selling… and how insulting was his comment? He came right out and told her that he was trying to close the deal. And he also is showing that it’s not about her, it’s all about him. He is not worthy of having sex with a ‘quality woman’… He has no respect for her or the act of sex… he is about satisfying ‘his selfish and immediate’ needs…

A real man, a ‘gentleman’, will ask if he ‘can’ kiss a woman… not ‘declare’ that he ‘should’…
And any man who??????????????????????????????? says something like, “You have a really good body” on the first date or meeting… Well, what is this? It’s a man looking to get laid. It’s one thing to say you are pretty or you look fit, but to say, “You have a really good body.” is objectifying and marginalizing a woman for their sexual needs, desires and purposes.

The ‘real war on women’ is led by ‘some’ men.. who think it’s ‘manly’ to focus on sex, or they are so needy that even at mid-age they are still ‘thinking’ with their penis. And men like this are a waste of a ‘real’ woman’s time…
And men like this are not worthy to have sex with a real woman…

Okay women, what sickening things have you heard from a man ‘trying’ to be seductive, to seduce you, or to ‘appear’ sexy?

And men what’s your opinion and why do ‘some’ men say such stupid, tasteless and turn-off comments?

Look to the left and click to follow…

Devaluing Sexuality Equals Immorality…

???????????????????????????????Sexuality is precious. It is a gift. It is part of the essence of an individual. It is a magnificent connection. But today, by many, it is being taken down to the level of a hand shake, or a blow job. Immorality, regarding sexuality, is promoted almost everywhere.

If some woman will spread her legs, some man will stick it in. Not to be gross, but anyone doing this, in this casual manner, is gross. The women who are like this, as well, as the men, are lowly and disgusting and they are diminishing themselves along with society…

You can’t separate yourself, your body, mind, heart and spirit, from the sexual act… as you exchange bodily fluids and energy with another. If you think that you can, you are dead inside, or so cut off from yourself that you are a walking needy zombie, or possibly addicted.

Some think that when you exchange sexual energy with another that it makes an imprint on you that you carry in your energy…and this may very well be true.

Playboys, playgirls, those never married, or committed, but who have sex one after another, are nothing, but lost, promiscuous, searching and many are down and out immoral. Most have little to no connection to body, mind, heart, and spirit… They are only looking to ‘escape’ and to feel some ‘momentary’ pleasure that takes them out of their loneliness, torment, or lack in self. And if anything feels too real, in that, it’s time to commit, be responsible, or in tune with who they really are, being that, they ‘grow’, they are off to their next prey and escape. Their denial and escape of emotional growth pushes them along their sexually demented path.

If a person does this too often, they may very well lose all capability to love, if they even had it in the first place. They don’t love, or respect themselves as reflected in their behavior, so of course, don’t have the ability to love, respect and commit to another.

We are rearing a large part of society in this manner today and it is going to destroy our country. The family unit, the commitment, the responsibility are the foundation of a strong, healthy, moral and prosperous society.

Good and responsible men are often propelled to higher level of success as they are compelled to care and provide for their wife and children….

Married or committed people who cheat on their partner are breaking the integrity of the unit and betraying all concerned, even the children, who they ‘think’ don’t know… well, they do know. The cheater is breaking down the morality of all involved. A cheater carries their duplicity with them in all that they do until they admit and recognize their frailty and lack.

Dictators, socialists, communists, marxists, know that to destroy the morality of a society will break it down. Tear down the family unit and people will be more easily led and controlled. Selfish, single, non-attached people usually care little about the needs of others. They just wanna screw and screw themselves and others they do…

Marriage is being promoted and diminished as to be too bothersome to do. Children ar
e born out of wedlock and it is accepted as the norm. “Baby Daddy” is replacing “Father”… and this I find disgusting…

How did we sink so low and why?

It’s better that a child be brought into this world with a married Mother and Father. This gives the child the basis for strength and security, a unit, an identity to grow and to learn from. Now sure, not all parents are ‘great’… but, at least, a child born into a marriage has a foundation, a sense of security and belonging.

These kids with a ‘Baby Daddy’ and a Mother who have had several children by other ‘Baby Daddies’… well, what is this BS? How lost and convoluted will these children become? We can see the effects of this casual,  ill-responsible lifestyle in society, daily.

I am having men complain that women are promiscuous and it is turning them off. Then I have women complain that all men are interested in is sex and that men email and text them photos of their penises…  Now how insecure, needy and gross can some men get?

Rape can be also telling a woman you love her  just to have sex with her… it’s not by physical force alone and behind lying, manipulative words can be the same aggression and violence against women.

We are having a major male/female/sexual disconnect… I say be true to yourself, your morality and your body, mind, heart, spirit connection…or you will be lost. Listen to your connection to yourself, not society, others and certainly not the media and entertainment field… they have a stake and benefit in your corruption.

Some people show no respect for the sexual act, or what comes from it … So how will these children grow up to be secure and responsible to self and others when no one was, or is responsible to, or for them? Most will be worse off than their parents with little direction and few, if any morals… a burden on society… a burden to themselves… lost searching and easily led astray.

The break down of society can be based on the break down of the importance placed on the sexual act…whether it be held in value, or no different than relieving yourself. The respect that women are held in and the respect that women show and give to themselves is a reflection of the quality of a society.

The sex act is an act of creation and an expression of love and caring between two people. It’s isn’t just an orgasm, getting off, seduction, or notches on a belt.
Sure, it’s muscles and nerves being stimulated… but without the intellect, the emotional connection, it is nothing, but mutual masturbation.

You will find that the more exclusive and selective people are regarding sexual partners, the more sensual and sexual they are. Because they know and understand what ‘really great sex’ is, so they ‘value’ it…they have and understand the body, mind, heart, spiritual connection… Where a promiscuous person just screws…an ordinary, banal, common and empty act…

An emotionally healthy woman becomes attached to man when she has sex. Her hormones create this attachment. So, she should be VERY CAREFUL whom she has sex with. And men who toy and exploit these emotions with ill-intent are the lowest of the low.

Men who go around sticking their neediness in women are nothing, but NEEDY.
Not a man, but a lost little animal, who can’t connect past his penis.  He has no respect for himself, or the women. Women who allow themselves to be used in this manner
are ignorant fools who are betraying the very nature of their being.

We are creating an immoral society that values little. Sexuality is a person’s motor and someone who abuses their self, and others have little, if nothing to offer.

There are ‘basic rules’ that work to create a healthy society and a responsible, respectful sexuality is its basis…

I am certainly no prude as I have lived long enough to have made mistakes and to know what I share here is the truth of my living wisdom.

I have made the mistake of sex with someone I cared little for and it made me feel sick inside. I have had the deep connection with a man I loved dearly and never felt more fulfilled, or cared for.  I have had a ‘Hollywood star’, playboy type come onto me and and turned him down flat with no regret…

With experience, living, and age comes wisdom… and that wisdom leads us back to the basic truths that love and sex go together… Marriage first – children after marriage…playboys are lost boys and nothing is glamorous about them. 

As a society, we can strive to lift ourselves up to morality, love, commitment, respect, sexual exclusivity, or we can let Hollywood, the media, the rock and rappers, ‘popular’ opinion, etc. tear us down to promiscuity, perversions, anything goes, into a totally demented hell.

Immorality is just that…Immoral…

Men who complain their wife, or girlfriend, isn’t into sex…

 ???????????????????????????????I hear this lots… as I wonder, if these men are even sexy. In fact, the men that I observe complaining and whining about the lack of sex aren’t sexy, sensual, attractive, or even interesting, or fun…

Soooo… no wonder their wife or girlfriend isn’t interested in sex….

Men! Just having a penis, or an erection doesn’t make you desirable…Just being a male, doesn’t make you desirable….

Many men who ‘talk’ about sex, aren’t that good at doing it… is what so many women tell me…

Men who jump from sexual partner to sexual partner looking for that ‘sexual high’ aren’t sexy, or sensual… they are immature and irresponsible. Immaturity and irresponsible are not sexy…

Commitment, responsiblity, maturity and an emotional connection are what is sexy and sensual…

If you had it once, that sexual chemistry, that connection with your lady and it’s gone… then maybe, ‘you’, the man did something wrong… ever think of that, ‘your maleness’…? Ever think that it is about ‘you’ and not her??? So, how about blaming yourself and looking at yourself, instead of her…?

Women thrive on attention, communication, knowing that she is appreciated, cared for and protected. Women thrive on romance…

Now, I understand that some women are cold, or can grow cold for other reasons than what a man may, or may not do… but…Lovers

Men… there are excellent videos that you can get, to learn how to really make love to a woman… so that you can satisfy her. (I am not talking porn, I am talking about instructional videos… but they are also sexy. Porn can be a good thing, or a bad… depending…)

The more a woman is satisfied and fulfilled, the more sex she will want. It’s not all about you, ‘men’. Women have told me that they ‘fake’ orgasms just to get it over with and to make the man ‘feel’ good about ‘his’ performance. And the women finally get tired of faking it… and want no more of it…

There is a great movie called, FIREPROOF, that I recommend… it shows how turned off a man can make his wife without realizing what he is doing. That a male being so obsessed with self will turn the best, most committed woman off…

Guys, if you want great sex…. realize it is about the woman… put her first…
and forget about your ego and your penis needs…

If the sexual chemistry is there in the beginning.. it will always be there, if it is nurtured and developed… learn together about each others’ bodies. Women have a more complex sexual make-up than men.

Most women are very sexual beings and as they get older most get even more so…

I have a beautiful friend married for years to a great looking guy and she lies in bed and has sex with herself with him asleep beside her… so hey… what is this saying….?

Men you need to wake up… stop complaining and talking about sex and learn how to do it and how to really please your lady outside of the bedroom…cuddle with her, hold her hand, buy her gifts, flowers, etc… whatever she enjoys… start all over with the romance, every so often… make it fun and exciting… to break-up the pattern of everyday life…

It’s not about your car, football, fishing, your job, how much money you make or anything else. It is about how she feels when she is around you… it’s about how ‘you’ make her feel when she interacts with you… if she feels cared for, appreciated seen and heard….

There is so much written about how to please a man and it all centers on his ego. Men’s ego needs can weigh heavily on a woman.. a man’s ego and keeping him feeling ‘good’ as a man can exhaust a woman…
feeding that ‘fragile male ego’ can be a real turn off….

Women get tired of catering to a man’s ego…. so they shut down….
and men, if she doesn’t want you… she is shut down to you… she is turned off by and to you…. and it very well may be your fault….

Men.. are you still in shape? Do you take care of your personal hygiene? Do you watch sports all day ignoring your lady, then expect her to ‘want’ you… well, good frigging luck…

It’s really not about ‘sex’ It’s about communication. It’s about the connection.

Men forget about your needs, your penis, your ego, yourself and focus on your lady…it just may get you all that you could ever desire. Can you even handle it?

Angels and Whores…

 ???????????????????????????????The evening with the Saudi Princes pretty much disgusted me. Observing their behavior, learning how they live and treat their wives offended my very being. The Saudi experience occurred in the Fall of that year and by that Summer… I found out that my husband had an illegitimate child with his secretary.

Our marriage had been weighted full of ‘his’ problems…

I married him out of college and soon discovered as he got into the world that he was an alcoholic and a gambler. He had us deeply in debt. As I saved money, he gambled it away. Now, in a horror scenario, not unlike Maria Shriver’s situation… I found he had been living two lives…  http://blog.womenexplode.com/2011/05/17/i-have-been-where-you-are-maria.aspx

He had his life with me. I was a housewife and taught ballet. He worked for ‘my’ father’s company… I wore myself out trying to make him ‘appear’ good and okay… like our life really was what it ‘appeared’ to be on the outside, but it wasn’t. I was married to a baby, who wore a suit to work, played golf at a country club where ‘I’ was the member…

His other life was that of a drinking, gambling womanizer… hanging with the kind of women that he would never marry…

He was using them, and he was using me and he was loyal to no one, including himself…Geez! kinda like a Saudi Prince… Ha!
http://blog.womenexplode.com/2012/01/09/a-muslim-experience.aspx

I recall him telling me towards the end of our marriage that he really liked going places with me because when I entered a room everyone’s head turned.  I inquired. “What are you talking about?” He explained further, “Like at the ballet, when we are shown to our seats, all eyes are on you. I feel noticed and important when I am with you.”

Just about explains it all, huh?

Soo… he liked what being with me made ‘him’ feel like. And the other women? He was with them because they made ‘him’ feel another way… I was out there and seen to enhance ‘his image’ of himself and they were in the shadows hidden. But the bottom line is that it was all about ‘him’… not anyone else, but him and how someone ‘made him feel’ about himself.

Of course, it was devastating to me to have all this revealed. Once, I found out about his secretary, I discovered that he had been having affairs ever since we were engaged.

I call it the Angel/Whore complex…The wife is the ‘good’ one… with the ‘Mrs.’ before her name and the others are insignificant playthings… But no one matters… it’s just different placements…to make the man feel a certain way and to give him what he wants…

I wonder does this kind of a man ever think about the women, their feelings, and their emotions? Or is it all only about him?

My ex-husband was a Baptist and strictly reared … no dancing and no drinking… Ha! Because he and his brothers were wild and were cheaters… Kinda like that Muslim practice, pushing their ‘morality’ when they are about as corrupt and immoral as anyone can be.

And my ex denied his child with his secretary in an ‘effort’ to try and get me to believe that it wasn’t his, and to ‘save’ our marriage, his facade. Our marriage was the facade that gave him ‘respectability’. He eventually paid her off and signed all rights to the child away.

While he was begging me to not divorce him, telling me that he loves me, always loved me … blah! blah! I find that he is having an affair with a ‘flight attendant’. How do I find this out? She sends a sex ridden card to ‘my’ house… about two days after I kicked my husband out.

After I divorced him, I never saw him again, but I have wondered, if he ever acknowledged his son. Amazing how cold, self-serving, selfish and immoral some men can be….

How and why do some men live one life that is presentable and respectable and another that is on the edge? Almost like they thrive on the duplicity of it all… the thrill of the hiding, the thrill of seeing how long they can get away with it…

Why do some men think it’s okay to live like this? We know Muslims have no respect for women, but why do some American men behave and live in this manner? Like they think, that ‘where’ their sexual organ has been doesn’t matter. But it does! To a woman like me it does… when I find a man has cheated… it’s over… And if I know a man cheats on anyone, I lose all respect for him.

There I was that evening, feeling sorry for Muslim women, hearing about how they are treated… and I was living a similar nightmare…

Is it some kind of a male entitlement that some men think they have? Is it that they ‘think’ what the ‘wife’ doesn’t know, won’t hurt her? Is it that the sanctity of marriage means nothing to some? Do some men ‘think’ all women are second class citizens and that they can treat them anyway that they desire?

Do they have an Angel/Whore complex… they marry the woman, ‘the Angel’, who gives them the facade of what they want to appear like…the respectable life, then play with the Whores?

An Angel will help a man see and know who he really is, assist and guide him along the way, helping him to be the best man that he can be and create a great life in ‘reality’… A Whore will ‘momentarily’ make him think he’s everything that he isn’t… it’s all delusions as she uses him and he uses her…they suck the life out of each other…it’s all comes down to destruction of life and souls… all for the male’s ego and ‘sex’… how lame can anything get?!

What is it with some men?…And don’t they realize, if they live like this, that in actuality, they are whores…just because they are men, gives them no escape from what they really are… They are man whores…

My sister ran into my ex lately at the grocery and reported that he is really fat and has some sort of severe health issues…well… ummm….And I heard that he went bankrupt several times… soo….

Morality is Sexy…

???????????????????????????????Sexual corruption, exploitation and promiscuity are rampant today and about as un-sexy and un-sensual as anything can be.

What’s sexy is responsibility, commitment, selectivity and people who know who they are enough to be able to appreciate the sharing of another human being’s body as being a precious gift…

If a person doesn’t respect their body, expressed clearly in how they behave sexually, including the way they take care of themselves, then why or, how would they be able to respect anothers?

Why would anyone allow another to touch their body intimately, heaven forbid to enter it, to invade their personal space and boundaries, if they didn’t have a caring, a commitment, a love, a connection… something meaningful occurring…?

Today sexual corruption is being encouraged on all levels… on TV, movies, by examples in the media, Hollywood, and now, in our educational system. This sexual exploitation is one way that allows for the breaking down of morality, values and standards of an individual that translates into the breaking down of the foundation of a society.

Evil knows that to infiltrate through the sexuality and sensualness of an individual, makes it possible to control and corrupt them for life. Sexual addiction and choices can be groomed and developed. And self-hate and self-devaluation can and will occur relating to the extent and degree of the corruption and what was experienced can and will impact their whole life and everything in it…in most cases, weakening their spirit, skewing their boundaries and making them more easily influenced and to be led.

Human sexuality is what creates life. It is the highest form of creation that there is… another human being with a soul can be created through this act as this is its divine intention… not its only intention, but the outcome and primary reason for it…. Sex is a ‘drive’ and it feels good, so that human race will continue.

Sex is also the closest that two people can get in the physical and is one path of expression of affection towards another. That you care for and love someone with your heart and mind and that expression becomes physical through sexuality.

That a male woos a woman, is attracted, goes after her attention and affection. She observes him, to see if he is worthy of her attention and if he will make a worthy partner for her and if she should grant him her affections that might result in the creation of a life. Will he be a good provider and protector of their young, their home and of herself?  And herself most importantly, includes her emotions, her physicality and the ‘totality’ of her well-being. So that she will be able to glow and to bloom. When these requirements are met… the traditional family can be created with the opportunity for fulfillment on many levels.

Morality offers a solid base that creates the basis for a solid society. It is the strength of a society… solid morals, values and standards and a place for the youth to grow-up in a safe and secure environment. It displays the role of the male and the female…the balance to be played out and demonstrated and it is sensual and sexy … there is nothing else like it, all that it is in the height of its standards and values…

Men and women are different… that difference is to be valued and cherished, not exploited, or made the same…

It’s in its imbalance that works hard to find itself and creates such strength in its quest. And when that balance is found, even if momentarily, is that which makes it so precious and valuable… and today that balance is being continually distorted and diminished…

There is a wonderful movie, FIREPROOF produced and acted in by Kirk Cameron…  it shows a wonderful example and message of what man is in relation to woman and to God…it is a Christian depiction.

A woman is a rose and if she is not treated right, she will either wilt or never bloom….therefore, the male will never experience all the gifts and glory of the feminine.

The ‘Muslim practice’… ‘claims’ to ‘protect’ women… when in actuality it objectifies and oppresses women in both its fear and desire of her feminine allure and power…men’s desire and behaviors are blamed on the women… therefore, the men have no responsibility for their actions or behaviors. This is a fear-based practice, practiced by weak men and a weak corrupted people and one that annihilates the feminine. They look to diminish and to even destroy that which they desire so greatly. And look at how violent and cruel they are….When the allure and power of the feminine is objectified, or oppressed out of fear…it creates an over sexuality as we are experiencing now, or an oppressive backwards one as in Islam. Both are out of balance.

An individual who is balanced in their morality is sexy and wholesome as is a society that achieves this balance…

A sexually needy, graspy, oppressive, objectifying person or society is neither sexy or sexual. It’s a blight unto themselves and a blight on society.

Morality is Sexy…

Naked Sex…or…

Years ???????????????????????????????ago, I was in a relationship with a man who asked. “You don’t look at me when I am naked, do you find my body attractive?”

My reply. “I didn’t realize that I didn’t.” As I pondered, since, I hadn’t even thought about it, until he asked, ‘But now, that I think about it, I find your body not so attractive.’ I realized that I was probably unconsiously averting my eyes because physically he wasn’t attractive to me.

My being with this man wasn’t because of his looks and certainly wasn’t his body. We had fun ‘as a couple’. But after he asked me this question along with displaying other insecurities. Then when I did look at his nude body in the light of day with no sexual passion, as he exited the room, I felt a kind of repulsion. Mostly, I felt repulsion at his insecurity. The way that he carried himself was insecure. His walk was insecure. His question was insecure. It wasn’t his body. Because for most women, the way a man treats her, his character, his intelligence, his kindness and thoughtfulness, his humor, his confidence, among other things are what makes him attractive or not….

I have been with movie star handsome men and by the end of the evening… because of their behavior, I felt I was with a gargoyle.
I have been with not so attractive men and they were so fun, kind and attentive… that they became more attractive…So, physical appearance isn’t everything… sexy and sensual is innate… and in a person’s being or it isn’t…

annstairsbSooo.. as I ponder this with all of you…Just before, during and after sex, we can be in varying degrees of undress, or completely nude…depends on the mood…nightgown, tee shirt, robe, camisole…. right? Sometimes, I can be completely nude, tan and worked out and feel like a goddess, a woman amongst women. At other times, after eating, or just feeling a bit off… I’d rather be in ‘varying’ degrees of dress… but either way, I am still me, like me and feel good in my body.

Nude or covered a sexy person is a sexy, sensual person.

Sometimes, partial coverage is desirable and sexy…even more sensual and sexy then complete nudity…

I have never asked a man, why don’t you look at my body… because men always look, right? Men like to look… it’s what a man does… look…

But sure at times… we all feel insecure walking to the bathroom nude, as Meryl Streep did in the movie, ‘It’s Complicated’? But Alec Baldwin as big and out of shape as he was, stripped and pranced about… that’s how most men are… those I have known… but not the one I wrote about in the beginning of this…  that lack of confidence, whiny, not sexy man…

We all feel more attractive at one time or another. But to be close enough to have sex and to feel so insecure as this man did…was such a turn off…

Anyway, it’s the woman’s ‘right’ to ask… Do I look like I’ve gained weight? Are my hips getting big?, etc….” And the man’s place to comfort and compliment…

When a man acts like a woman, whiny and whimpering… ‘do you like my body.’ To me, it’s a real turn off… A REAL TURN OFF!

But if he says.. “Hey, look at me, I’ve lost a few and been working out”… now that’s fine… or if he should say…”I’m not looking so good, think I’ll lose some weight”… that’s fine also… it shows he is self-aware not a whine boy.

The way something is expressed verbally shows an innate confidence or not…

I like a man to be a man… Preferably one that takes care of his body to some extent and feels good in it…confidence is sexy…don’t you agree?

So, do you like to strut your stuff…? Make love in the nude with the lights on? Or in the dark under the covers, or a bit of everything depending on your mood…?

Let’s talk…

What are we living in, when…

???????????????????????????????It’s ‘sex and the city’…greed, greed… anti-Christian deeds… child-age girls giving blow jobs to little boys, as if it’s nothing. Gays demanding marriage and women have children out of wedlock as if marriage was just an after thought…the sanctity of marriage and family are thrown by the wayside…

Women dress like hookers… ‘hooker heels’ are all the rage…and men treat them as such… as more and more women seem to strive for this…

Many women don’t like men and many men don’t like women… Some men are behaving like women and some are women behaving like men…so respect is exiting fast…

‘Stuff’ is more valuable than morals, values, standards, and honor…
or people… as many claw over each other to buy ‘things’….

Truth is lie and lie is truth… Right is wrong and wrong is right…

Patriots are deemed terrorists and terrorists deemed disgruntled employees, or I guess as just having a bad day…

Corruption in government is rampant … our President leading the way as, ‘liar-in chief’, as his I-I-I shows his love of self beyond all else….

Wealth is vilified, while most all lust after it…

Some people are famous for doing little to nothing, but self-promotion…

Muslims are entering our country in droves and we are adapting our schools, etc. to their Sharia law…setting aside prayer rooms for them, etc.

While young boys that emulate a true Christian are expelled…
and Christians and their religious holidays are laughed at and mocked…

Every move Obama makes is to help create a Muslim Caliphate…as he apologizes for Americans and calls us lazy and talks down to us as if we are stupid children….

The race card is played continually…while politically correct BS is forced upon us for agenda…

Our economy is bad, but our ‘president’ spends millions on a ‘December holiday’…

Slander and rumor run rampant… the press will annihilate a person at their whim… while protecting their Obama ‘god’…

False religions and ‘gods’ are idolized and followed… Oprah as one example…’Obama the messiah’ another…New Age BS….

People are on their gadgets more than they are interacting in person with one another…

Obesity and laziness have reached new highs… the over-indulged bulge is seen everywhere…

People listen to talking heads and the world more than to themselves… many not able to discern what is real and true and what is Leviathan spin…
and now-a-days most all of it is Leviathan-spin…

Information spreads quickly and most of it is slanted propaganda as in the MSM’s ”yellow journalism…

What most of us found abhorrent, we are now having to endure as the ‘norm’…

To me, America doesn’t feel safe, doesn’t look the same, or feel the same… it feels strange and off… really off…

It’s ‘Happy Holidays’ if you want to be PC… instead of Merry Christmas….

But I say MERRY CHRISTMAS!…

America was founded on Judeo-Christian beliefs… not Muslim…

People who come to America need to adapt to us, become citizens, or leave. We have freedom of religion, but it’s not to make/force us adapt to theirs. It’s not freedom of other’s speech and not, ours, as Americans…

I don’t feel like I belong on here on earth…I don’t fit in. My morals, values and standards are not like what I see … and I don’t want to lower who I am to the standards of most in this corrupted world.

Does anyone else feel as I do?
So, what are we living in?…