Tag Archives: insecure

The needy self-absorbed man…

self-absorbedI have a male/acquaintance/friend who is in his 50’s and very ill. He has spent his life as a playboy being obsessed with how a woman looks and sex. He’s never married, laughed at it and put it down. He is  now alone and lonely. Parents are gone and friends off with their lives. He’s pathetic. I feel sorry for him, always have. He called me last night whining that he has no one to talk to. He is alone and can barely take care of his own needs. He needs assistance to shower, etc. 
He has only cared about himself and his needs and wants. He doesn’t even listen when you talk with him. I have talked about God.. but he laughs at me. He doesn’t think there is a God.
Men need women for much more than sex and how she looks. A man who objectifies  women usually turns out like this one … alone. I have seen it happen many times. When they get old or sick, can’t rockin’ roll and their resources dwindle… they are left alone with nothing. The women that he chose for her looks, only wanted him for what he gave her as in excitement or gifts while he only wanted her for her body and how it temporarily made him feel.
Men if you are fortunate enough to have a woman love you, you might want to cherish her for all her gifts. It’s been proven that a man needs a woman more than she needs a man.
Women alone live longer than men alone. Why is this? A woman assists a man in processing his emotions. She cares for and nurtures his needs. When he provides, commits and protects this creates a great balance. But when he doesn’t… it falls apart… the balance never occurs.
When a man is so needy that he is driven to suck off many women with no commitment, he is really cutting himself off from what he really needs, but this kind of man is too insecure, can’t allow vulnerability or be real within himself, so he distances emotions and feelings for the temporary charge and escape of sex and being in control and in the end he loses big time!  
Women can do this for themselves. They process their emotions more easily, so why would any sane woman want to take on the neediness of a man without his full commitment to her and respect of her whole self? Women who share their bodies with a man without the wholeness of commitment are fools. They are fools looking to temporarily escape who they are in reality and wholeness and it is a big fail in the end for both. 
The real deal with the ‘never married man’, forty and up, is they can’t commit, are afraid of failure and real intimacy. So, they objectify women and diminish marriage and commitment to make themselves feel better about their inability to commit, to choose, and to make long term relationship decisions.

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

Oscar Wilde

Blown away by the way ‘some’ men…

Blackwhite24talk to a woman…
Okay… what would you think and do if a man solicited your attention repeatedly to offer his services in a business interaction. And finally, you respond because you ‘think’ that you ‘might’ have an interest in his service. It’s what he is offering you, you did not contact him. He sends you his resume and some samples of his work which appear fine.  

The first conversation with him is informative and interesting. But in the next phone conversation, he makes continual references to your body as being voluptuous. It could ‘sort of’ be excused, in that, you are talking about a character in a book. But he says your body is ‘voluptuous’ about six times and he asks personal questions. (red flags) And then in the next email, he writes that for his ‘pay’, he asks only that you marry him and never leave him… he also writes that you are beautiful and have a certain glow about you…

He also writes in an email that he showed your photo to a kid that lives above him and this kid said that you are ‘hot’.

You write back that this is sweet, but you are only interested in the  business project…besides, why would he show your photo to
anyone?

His reply. “Dear, don’t nag.”

Your reply. “Excuse me?”

His reply. “Excuse you? Why, did you burp?”

Having experienced quite enough, you write back that you are not interested in any association with him and that you don’t appreciate him continually referring to your body.

Indignant, defensive and patronizingly, he replies that he was only being friendly. That you are being arrogant and you need to get over yourself because you are not all that attractive… and that ‘you’ need to apologize to ‘him’…because he was only sharing a ‘story’ about the kid, and that you are being too sensitive. And that you shouldn’t kick a ‘gift horse’ in the mouth.

HA!… soooo…Whew!  Yes… this happened to me and this from a man who has commented repeatedly for months that he enjoys my writing, agrees with me and my site. So, he ‘should’ know what I am about, or he ‘thought’ he did, or he doesn’t know how to conduct business, or he is a stupid oaf, because, if this had occurred in an actual place of business, his words would be considered sexual harassment.

So, over the Internet in a ‘business’ interaction this man disrespects me, comes onto me and when I call him out on it, instead of apologizing… he ‘tries’ to point the finger at me, put me down and patronize me. And he was the one continually talking about my appearance not me…

Also, when he first talked about my body, of course, I was offended, but I let it slide to gather more info, since I am becoming more aware everyday that ‘many’ men are ‘completely ignorant’ about how to talk and interact with a woman. Some seem to think that saying things like this man said to me are ‘compliments’. But what it does is to make a woman feel objectified and this is insulting on every level. Was that his intention? To pull some kind of ‘male dominance.’

Do men these days, because of movies and the way, in some cases, we see women being portrayed and disrespected and the way many women disrespect themselves, ‘think’ that they can interact in this manner?

I have never seen anything like what I am seeing today…sure there have always been the jerks and always will be. But the lack of manners, juvenile behavior, low respect level, and ignorance of ‘some’ men these days, goes beyond the pale… and it blows me away in shame for them. Are they so insecure and needy that they will take any and every opportunity to objectify, try to stick it to and take a woman down to their lowly level?

What do you think? Do you agree or not? And what would you have thought and what would you have done?

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