Tag Archives: government

I Am A Murderer! – excerpt from DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR

In my thirties…

When I was in high school, I didn’t know what an abortion was. Only the sleaziest of girls went ‘all the way’. I didn’t know of, or ever even heard of a girl getting pregnant. If one did, it was hidden and taken care of by her family to an outcome that they alone reached and it was done in private.

I didn’t have my first ‘French Kiss’ until the night of my high school prom. The first man that I ‘went all the way’ with, we were engaged and got married. As an adult, I can look back and know that I missed nothing by not having sex at a young age. In that area, I was able to be a child, instead of pretending or playing at being grown-up.

When I was in college, one of my best girlfriends from high school got pregnant by her longtime boyfriend and I was appalled to hear it. No one that I knew of got pregnant before they got married. This couple quickly married because to have a child out of wedlock just wasn’t done. It was shameful to everyone concerned.

I dealt with the issues of sexuality as an adult and even then they were at times very difficult. In my thirties, I got pregnant. The man and I were in love, but I wasn’t out of my first marriage even though we had been separated for years. My ex-husband dragged it out and forced it to court. My first marriage had ended in complete embarrassment and scandal and the whole town knew about it. It would have added more shame for my family and me if I was pregnant, not being completely divorced and not married. The man I loved and I, couldn’t get married, until three months after my divorce was final and it was not even as of yet final. So for the sake of image, we killed our baby.

The man I was dating told me that he would do whatever I wanted to do in this regard. We were planning on getting married anyway, but after much discussion, we opted for abortion.

It was the most difficult decision that I have ever made in my life. I changed my mind several times before actually having the abortion. Even as I was getting out of the car to enter the medical facility, he and I were still discussing it. One of my thought processes in deciding to have an abortion was that it must be okay because others were doing it. Then there was ‘Roe versus Wade’, a ruling that deemed it okay to abort a baby.  This created distorted thinking in me to think that if the government said it was okay then it must be okay. As if having an abortion and killing a child, had a government stamp of approval. Therefore even though in my heart and soul, I knew it was wrong. I made the difficult and horrendous decision to kill our baby. Even as they were putting me under anesthesia, I was protesting in my heart. The doctor feeling my angst said, “Relax, it will be over soon.”

I went to court to testify in my divorce on Monday of that week, which was eventually awarded to me on extreme mental cruelty in a no-fault divorce state. Then on Friday of that same week, I had an abortion.

That doctor performing the abortion was incorrect. It was never over. I suffered emotionally for years because of this decision. The man and I married the following year, but our having made the abortion decision, irreparably harmed our relationship. I couldn’t get past it and he wanted to forget it. He did suffer but he didn’t want to think, talk about it or to deal with his emotions. I needed to deal with mine. I would have intense crying spells concerning this decision. I felt tormented in my heart. I prayed and asked God repeatedly for forgiveness, until I was finally able to put it into some sort of perspective. But I will never get over it and when I think of it, still to this day, I feel like crying. Abortion is murder. On my death bed, I will still be asking for God’s forgiveness for this decision.

Many years later, I told my father about my having an abortion. I am not sure that he believed me or that it really sunk in. He just stared at me and said, “Of all my children, I wanted you to have grandchildren.” Hearing him say this, of course made me feel worse than I already did, in some regards, but not in others. In some ways, I was glad that I didn’t have children. I had such a horrible childhood in some ways that I didn’t want a child to be brought into this world to suffer as I had. I wanted a child to be born into a marriage with a loving couple. I never felt that I had that.

These were my beliefs based on the imprints that I took in from my family of origin.

Children are gifts from God no matter how or where they enter the world. I believe that whatever circumstances a child enters into is theirs to break against, to heal from and is their opportunity to become more of who they are meant to be.

I don’t want women that make the decision to have an abortion to have to sneak into some back alley and have it done by some hack or in less than sterile and safe circumstances. But at the same time, if having an abortion carried shame, it might curtail some from getting pregnant in the first place. That there is shame associated with getting pregnant out of wedlock.

Why is abortion a government issue? Shouldn’t this most serious decision be made between a woman, her doctor, her family, those in her life who understand her situation and her God?

I believe in a woman’s right to choose as there are circumstances in life and that of the unborn where an abortion might be the decision neede be made.  I am not stating that abortion is the right thing to do, as this is not my place, nor is it the place of the government. It is deeply personal and a decision of seriousness that matches few others, as is also the decision to bring a child into the world.

There is a right or better way to live, such as a couple of mature age,  fall in love, get engaged, marry, buy a house then when they are settled, financially responsible and secure in their relationship, have a child. This is actually the best/better/easier way.  Sure there are many other ways, but when you do things ‘right’ – they have a better chance to turn out positive for all concerned.

When and how did abortions become such an ordinary and easy decision to make? Was it ‘Roe versus Wade’ that did it? But the woman that forced the decision concerning this ruling being made into law, has since changed her mind.

How did we as a country become so lax and promiscuous? Was it when the government started paying for unwed mothers and their issue? Is this when many decided that having a ‘government baby’ was the thing to do or even a ‘lifestyle choice’ that was desirable – that the ‘government’ be a child’s father?

I was in my thirties when I had an abortion and even then I didn’t realize how deeply that I would be affected for the rest of my life by this decision. So how in the world can a young person in high school, or even younger understand or have any idea about the importance or how profoundly deep a decision it is to have sex, get pregnant, choose to have an abortion or to bring a life into this world? You need to be able to provide and care for yourself before you bring a life into the world to be under your care and supervision.

Sex creates life. Human life is the most valuable creation there is. Life is the most valuable, important, precious and profound thing on our planet. Abortion is killing a growing human being.  Abortion is killing a life.

My awareness is that I made the choices that I did, based on where I was at the time.  I made a choice guided by shame and image. I made a decision that instinctively I knew was wrong, but based on the fact that the government deemed it okay. I went with the government’s decision to kill an unborn child. Had I not had the government’s blessing, I may not have had the abortion.

I understand all sides, mine, the father of the baby’s, society and the governments. I accept the choice that I made and have lived with it ever since I made it. I forgive myself and all concerned and I turn it over to God.

A book for awareness and healing…

Insurance companies as bad as government…

I went from happy with no injuries to  this becAftersurgery12ause I entered a particular restaurant where they were mopping before closing in a dark environment with no wet floor signs. I was wearing  low rubber-soled shoes and even then,  the floor was so wet that my feet slipped out from under me and I landed on my left side slamming my elbow and left hip into the concrete floor.

All I asked is that they take care of my medical and a bit of pain and suffering. I was told by the restaurant manager, the next day, that they would take care of everything and that I am a valued client.

The insurance company interviewed me while I was on pain pills and before I had the surgery to fix my broken elbow.

The restaurant manager (wasn’t there when I fell) and other employees when interviewed by the insurance company all told different stories and all lied. They were sloppy in their recollections and clearly focused on self protecting.

They began cleaning up the restaurant 45 minutes before closing. While the busboy (an illegal alien that we needed an interpreter for)  stated in his deposition that he never started cleaning until everyone was gone and the lights were turned up.

Their insurance company denied my claim.

So I was forced to get an attorney and go through the tedious, full of delays, insulting,  and irritating legal process.

During the depos, under oath, the server did tell most of the truth. They had padded the bill to make it appear that we had more to drink then we did. We were in there 20 minutes, I had one sip of champagne and they had charged us for four splits of champagne as they comped the bill, because I had fallen, so on that night we did not see what we had been charged. They were planning their set up of me and cover up of themselves before I even left for the emergency room.

During my deposition, I was accused of being a racist which had nothing to do with my falling.  An illegal alien did the mopping that caused my fall. A black bartender, covering for the manager who had left earlier that evening, talked to me while I was trying to figure out how badly I was hurt.  What did race have to do with any of this? It didn’t. Except that we were white and they were trying to vilify us. So, in actuality, they were being abusive and racist against me.

We discovered the black bartender was fired a few months after my fall and had been charged with felony assault on his girlfriend. When we tried to depose him, he would not return our calls. And we were told that while the illegal alien came to the deposition, he would not be in court to testify because he was illegal and afraid of being deported.

It was clear this group was in a hurry to leave that night, the manager had left earlier that evening, and didn’t care who was harmed or what repercussions might occur.

After all this, they settled. I got all my medical paid and more pain and suffering than I was originally going to ask for. This ordeal took almost two years and in so doing, cost the insurance company more money and caused me more stress. Lawyers made money off this stupidity and waste. Their insurance adjuster attorney was like a government bureaucrat, short, pale and severe. We had to cancel one depo because the little man had three kidney stones. And that shows exactly what and who he was, a pissed little man with no real power, but to hurt people as he attempted to keep from paying claims. It was all deflecting, blaming and lying… just like our current administration.

If restaurants are open and they start cleaning, they need to be boycotted  because if you fall and are injured, they will claim no responsibility and that there were wet floor signs when there were none. They will claim you are clumsy, drunk, or a racist, Ha!  Even if there is a ‘wet floor’ sign and someone falls, they should still be held responsible. People don’t enter restaurants to watch staff clean or to be injured.  Restaurants should never clean before closing.

Crufall2I fell right behind where this man is standing on the way to the Ladies’ Room, the only way. The place is dark, the floors are scratched concrete and ill kept. I have never fallen in my life, never had a broken bone, am a former ballet dancer and fit as anyone could be. It was like walking on black ice, yet they tried to blame me.

Also, we discovered that this place is known to traffic in drugs. When you are in a place to relax, meet with friends, have fun and enjoy, you rarely think what goes on in the place behind the scenes. And why should you? You are there to be with who you are with not fraternize with the help, but there can be hidden harmful dangers in some places, even those that appear respectable and in good locations as this place was when you are paying to be served and to be in a safe environment.

I have always been a careful person but this incident has taught me to be even more cautious. Because of the way I was treated, I will never enter this place again nor will my friends and it was once considered an acceptable place to go on occasion. Had I been treated well, they paid my claim right off, and treated me with respect, it would have saved money, time and created an amiable outcome. The way it was handled, was a waste of money, time, resources with insults, alienation and unprofessional interaction, except by the ‘crook style’ of doing business.

Oh some establishments smile and ‘act’ like they appreciate  you when you are a paying customer, but when you are harmed because of their negligence, and they need to show responsibility, they will blame, deflect and lie to get out of it. Just like Obama and our current administration.

If you gain the world, but lose your soul…

what have you really gained and more importantly what have you lost?…

???????????????????????????????Is the quest for money  and power for there own sake, or is there, perhaps, a higher purpose intertwined?

Maybe, its truest intent and purpose is to draw us together by forcing us to interact with one another.

Because, in these financial/business relationships, we have our own and others’ character reflected back to us. Giving us the choice to learn, grow, change, or adapt for the purpose of reflecting our true nature and spirit to reveal and become more of our authentic self.

Nothing seems to show the true nature of individuals as clearly as how they interact in the acquisition of  money. In this quest, we make choices about how we’ll live our lives, treat ourselves and others and that expression is multiplied out into the world. Every exchange we have with another is a reflection of who we are, whether it be at work or play.

When it comes to the attainment of money, why is it that some of us seem to be able to explain away cheating, hurting and lying? Some of us excused Clinton of his lying, cheating, and harming of others as long as the economy was running smoothly. As long as money is flowing towards them, some seem to be able to excuse anything.

If a person has money, material goods, a ‘successful’ job, or some financially rewarding talent, some are able to excuse all sorts of negative behaviors that they may have that are harmful to society, such as affairs, sexual harassment, lying, conning, abuse, alcoholism, drugs, even murder, etc.

Why do some of us value ‘our money’ more than ‘our integrity’ to self and to other human beings?

Isn’t this getting everything turned upside down?

Sometimes, it doesn’t appear the ‘strong’ are surviving. It appears the ‘weak of character’ are. The biggest con-artists are many times the monetary survivors, and, or the ones with the slickest attorneys. If these are the monetary winners, who are they surviving for and why? 
And are they really winning, or are they really losing?

Look at Charlie Sheen and his recent use of the word WINNING… he used this word, while he was LOSING big time! But so many were captivated by his ‘winning’ BS… as if the word made them feel like it was they who were ‘winning’.

Is anything positive really being gained, or attained for anyone? Those who are being driven by their egos for a false sense of ego using the ‘power’ of money are, most of the time, the ones who are doing harm to many. Look at our government and their need to control the people by taxes, scare tactics, debt and lies….

What has happened to our standards as a society? If judges can be bought, people swayed by financially stuffed personalities, a President who so obviously and blatantly rewards and pays off his backers,(rewards his friends and punishes his enemies) and crime is seen as entertainment, what is our society really?  My gosh, we have a bully for a President! What is our world coming to?

Haven’t we, or aren’t we learning anything by what is being mirrored back? Aren’t we as a society able to use intellect, emotions, and our higher self to create a higher standard of existence? In many cases, we’re still operating out of the lowest existence of ego, greed, and ignorance, instead of what’s really valuable.

What’s it worth if a person has ‘money’ and ‘power’, but loses their soul in the process? Does the end justify the means? The desperate quest for power in and by the acquisition of money will never replace the peace in the power of honor in one’s soul.

Money and material goods are necessary and even fun. But when they’re used and coveted by the ego as false power, when morals are excused for the attainment of these things, and persons are admired not for how they live, but for how much money and power they have, (as in Hollywood, politics, etc) it’s destructive to the individual and to our society.

Is it our belief system that as a society there must be some type of corruption existing to attain money and power? And in this belief, that’s why when we’re shown lies, corruption, and harm again and again, we ignore it, keep finding excuses, or allow cover-ups to continue, in our government, court systems, and in businesses.

We have a President that blatantly lies to us almost daily as he tries to wield his ‘power’ over us and  sway us to his agenda as he and others manipulate the monetary system…

Money and morals can go together. We created our systems, our government, and our businesses, we can change them by our beliefs about what we value. It’s about balance and this is something that the greed and desire for control and power in this current administration has no use for….

Without people there’d be no need for money. People are the only reason for services, products and money…

And without the private sector, THE PEOPLE, there would be no need for government….

Traits of Dictators…

and dictatorships are similar. First, their leaders are all dicks. Ha!HA!

Some like the color gold and many dress costume-like. 

They shout! They scowl. They raise their arms around and in the air allot.

They make outrageous and impossible promises to the masses. They promise change and a new wonderful world of prosperity. But their change is and brings destruction. And dictators keep the money and prosperity for themselves, their friends and family.

They vilify and create wars even amongst their own people. Religious, race and ethnic cleansings are usually part of their favorite activities.

They enjoy instigating, harming even killing their own country men.

They take from the ‘have’s’ and redistribute to the ‘have nots’ making sure to keep the bulk of it for themselves, their supporters and friends.

Redistribute is one of their key words… along with ‘hope’…

But the truth is that they take control of all resources and businesses for their benefit and use.

They dress garishly… and spend much on their apparel. They live lavishly and travel much. They have everything first class, while the masses do without, or starve.

They steal, lie, con, and divide to conquer. They imprison, torture, maim, and ravage a country and its people.

They grow the government and create an army that is ‘theirs with allegiance to them instead of the country or the people’. They build ‘infastructure’… prisons, bridges, train tracks, etc. They have the masses even building their own prisons and digging their own graves.

They destroy the private sector and take all wealth from the people. They convince that everything is better run in government bureaucracies … and in their hands.

They treat the people like children.

They are all Narcissists and sociopaths…

They punish their enemies and reward their friends….

And as you view these idiots, don’t you wonder how in the world they got into power and caused so much harm and destruction? They look like freak shows, so how did they accomplish what they did? By brainwashing, false promises, lies, cons, circle-talking, Leviathan spin, getting in front of the masses as much as possible, if not all day. Taking over the media, the education and minds of the children and youth, while making promises that they had/have no ability or intention of keeping.
And well, some, have really bad taste in clothing….
no matter how much money that they spend, they still look bad.

Wearing really bad prints and fabrics must be one of the traits of dictators. Can you think of others?…

Mafia Government…or something worse…

???????????????????????????????They want a piece of everything. The government wants everything to pass through them. They want control over and, of, everything. They want their take just like the mafia. Only this is not some neighborhood, city, or some business, like garbage trucks, this is America and it bleeds into the whole world. ‘They’ want a piece of the action of every transaction.  

They want to suck the resources, the income, the energy, the talent, even the very life out of America, so that they have all the control. They want it all and to have all beholden to the government. And if they don’t get it, they will take it. The government will take its percentage, decide what it is, and raise it when they want.

American rights and freedoms, of, and to, individual property, privacy and honor are being taken away and destroyed daily and as fast as possible under the Obama administration.

The constitution is being ignored. What our founding fathers set forth is being ignored. God is being ignored, disrespected, even banned and anti-Christ is appearing everywhere.

The government lies to you daily. But should you lie to the government, you go to jail. Prisons and law enforcement are big business for the government. They provide labor, jobs, services and tax revenue. As do drug, people and sexual trafficking, both the users, sellers, and the punishing of those who break the ‘laws’. Don’t be fooled, they are one and the same. Addictions run the world. The government knows to ‘get them addicted’ to anything and we have them hooked for life in one form or another…

Educate them as we want them to think and we have future generations under our control…But teach them to think and we will be out done…

Much of the media has become an arm of the government, spreading propaganda for agenda… this means that what we are under is a dictatorship.

Taxes, regulations and more regulations, even control of charity, churches, fees, healthcare, no privacy, searching, trying to disarm, spying, licenses, restrictions, tracking, fines, tickets, confinement, monitoring, threats, scare tactics, brainwashing, lies, media control, product and business control, vilifying, food control, medicine control, growing government dependency and control, the strong arm of the government is everywhere and taking over…it is all a racket. A racket of rule, dominate and control.

And to do business, go to work, start a business, or to partake of  government programs, you must first have a social security number… that is unless, you are an illegal and will be used by those in government for your voting capability to keep them in office and in control of you.

We have several numbers assigned to us before we can do certain activities, social security, drivers licenses, worker permits, registrations, and others. And we are forced to buy insurance to drive, on our property and, now healthcare as these agencies petition and lobby the government on their behalf. We pay taxes and need accountants to follow the ever changing rules and laws. It’s all a racket…racket…racket…

We pay taxes on the money we earn and the government still wants their take from what you have accumulated when you die. They want no family getting too wealthy, unless, they are a part of the government ruling class. They all get wealthier and wealthier, as they sit making rules that benefit them, their businesses, interests and take bribes and pay offs to sway things to be certain way. And they get special benefits, exclusions and rights just like the mafia. But they want you to ‘believe’ that they are doing this for you, to better your life and to make things ‘fair’ … Oh yeah! That social justice thingy that the government doles out..HAHAHA!

Then they take your money and give it to other countries that care nothing about you, or your well-being, or whether you live or die. You see, it’s all business… not personal. Reward friends and punish enemies… Reward so that some will do as they deem as to where income and benefit derives, or do away with them, vilify them, ruin their lives, even kill them…

And like the Mafia, the real power behind the puppets, pencil pushers, money changers, benefit brokers and thugs is rarely, if ever known, or seen… until it is…

Recent and many reports show that Barack Obama is implementing strategies and policies which will eventually force the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Africa and the Arab world to be under the control of a Socialist New World Order Dictatorship influenced by some of Europe’s most powerful family dynasties.

“And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.” (Book of Revelation 13:17-18)

If you think we aren’t heading for this on the fast track, (since OOOObama ‘the one’ came into office) think again…
Oh, and by all means, put all your info online, do your banking and pay your bills online… so that, when the system crashes… all records can and will be lost…then will you take the mark to be able to buy and sell?…

Media Circus…

Circus : Portrait of the mime with Royal FlushNothing! But a three ring circus..

Can anyone recall the days when a President would come on and make an announcement, then get off the TV? He was professional, to the point, and served the American people, not a media whore, not  a ‘personality,’ but a respected man, a leader… even if you didn’t agree with all he said, or did, he was respected. Not the ‘I’… ‘me’ …’my’ of Obama… the, ‘me’,’ that in his own, dictator-like, spoken words rewards his friends and punishes his enemies. The ‘I’ am the president as he keeps reminding us to make sure that we know that ‘he’ is the real ring leader… ‘wanna be’ leader of the world…

Agenda-filled politicians label groups and are the ‘racists’ etc.  They want to label and force people to be and do as they deem for their usage. PC is BS! — like Obama has done with many blacks. His administration caused, literally caused, the ignorant blacks to destroy their own town as they try to vilify people like West, Carson and Sheriff Clark who tell the truth.

Hillary+Clinton+caricature+webNow Hillary, a real-life circus freak, trying to use women as the side-players in her circus show. Women I know don’t like or respect her on any level. Everyone I know thinks she and her husband are skanks. So why is anyone paying attention to them? It’s the bought and paid for media pushing the propaganda agenda trying to force the people to think like they want them to think. They vilify Trump for declaring business bankruptcy while the Clintons are raping every American as they spew lies and con taking in money from countries that hate US to line their pockets and create their lifestyle then telling everyone else they should give while all they have ever done is to take. What have the Clintons ever done but live off the people, lie, con, take and pervert? Slick Willy decreed that ‘oral sex’ isn’t sex. 

Recall, the ‘media event’ of the Obama circus the killing of Bin Laden? It is announced forty-five minutes early that ‘the president’ will make an important announcement late in the evening on a Sunday night. I watched as Geraldo… Geraldo! The talk show, Jerry Springer- Geraldo.. builds it up and builds it up. What could it be? What will Obama announce? Could it be this? Could it be that?  Ladies and gentleman, what scary thing will Obama, the ring leader of the circus, announce?

Then finally, Geraldo in ‘barker-like’ style states. “What if they got Bin Laden?” Then in the most unprofessional, unjournalistic way, he says, “This is just my opinion.” The ‘ trying to create anticipation’ look in his eye, takes me back to the dumb show where he opened some vault. Then after making this ‘off the cuff’ statement, Geraldo gets a notification that, indeed, Bin Laden has been killed.

This was a three ring circus set up and staged for effect, the jesters build up for the main performer… the pre-show warm-up orchestrated for Obama to come on and make ‘his’ announcement… and the circus ‘hoped’ this will keep him as the ring leader… the performance that makes sure the circus goes on… with the ability to get bigger tents and more rings kept full and continually spinning.

We are witnessing a set-up, an agenda-filled three ring media circus. This president with the clown-like name, Barack Obama, or Barry Soetero, whichever he chooses to go by, is a media creation, a clown, a puppet, a front man and right now, he is the ring leader of this three ring circus….

This media circus is running and ruining our country, its attitudes and its morality. It is total corruption. This media circus is government propaganda…continually blowing smoke up America’s ass.

While the stories spin and spin and change circus ring to circus ring. Look over here at this one! Now this one! No, now look here! Ladies and gentlemen look, there’s a show over here!

And pay no attention to the people behind the curtain… because they are doing some real underhanded magic, while you are busy viewing the spinning circus show out front…

The American people are being taken on a real roller coaster ride, a ride of, and for their life, by a three ring circus, orchestrated by dictators, puppets of the Illluminati, Bliderbergs, New World Order, anti-Christ, evil, agenda-filled, Soros, elite, bankers, world monetary managers, UN, global masters,…whatever you want to call it or them. And, unless, we leave the mindset of a dumb, mesmorized child, walk out of the circus and come back to adult sanity, we will never be America again!

We will have life long tummy aches from the cotton candy, continue to be mesmerized by the performers and living in a surreal circus-carnival like atmosphere forever.

Yes! Ladies and gentlemen, we are being manipulated by bought and paid for media clowns…ABC, NBC, CNN, FOX, CBS, etc. are involved in this circus performance and it plays daily and is on every minute to brainwash, and brainwash some more. Obama’s mantra, if you repeat it often enough, they will be convinced! Some shows and stations are just more lying, manipulative, intense and deceptive than others! Others are more fair and balanced or ‘pretend’ to be.

And it is quite a caravan of expense when the ring leader takes his show on the road squandering resources for his self-promotion and leisure.

A circus of illusion, not logic! Waste and bloat, with the fat lady in the circus becoming the government side show to the media circus… smoke and mirrors…a three ring circus expanding daily in Leviathan spin and juggling.

As the circus ‘polls’ spin the numbers to con the audience, the masses, and the fools…

I say listen to the candidates NOT the media interpretation. The media is bought and paid for scum.

We can not let this media circus of crap choose our next President like they did the lying  Muslim Obama…