Separate Beds…save your marriage?

by Ann

Stock Photo of Man giving a woman a...
Can sleeping in separate beds actually do good for your marriage, instead of harm? A group of British researchers has questioned the traditional view that married partners should sleep in the same bed, stating that there is no reason that a couple can’t cuddle and talk in one bed, and then move over into a separate bed or room to go to sleep. If they feel rambunctious during the night or morning, there’s also no reason why they can’t just hop over into their spouse’s bed for a little playtime.

Counselors say that it is good to fall asleep after making some kind of physical contact. This helps express mutual attraction and reduce feelings of abandonment or rejection, and in some cases can be a form of sexual release for a couple who’s too tired to actually do the deed. They also say that it promotes mutual feelings of closeness, which will allow a couple the chance to initiate deeper talks and have more opportunity to share intimate and personal thoughts before sleep, or immediately upon waking.


Marriage counselors say that sleeping apart pushes relationships towards the “roommate zone,” while researchers bring up the fact that it was the pre-industrial revolution that required couples to sleep together in the first place in order to save space. Today, with family homes stretching beyond 3,000 square feet, there is no reason that we can’t retire to our own sleeping quarters. Here are a few statistics showing the prevalence of couples sleeping in separate rooms.


• 1 in 4 couples will sleep in separate rooms (sofa, dog house, etc.) on occasion, due to an argument or disturbance of sleep in one form or another.

• 3 in 10 couples, according to a National Sleep Foundation poll, sleep in separate rooms the majority of the time.

• 40 percent of couples age 70 and older sleep in separate rooms in order to ensure the best night’s sleep possible. Researchers suggest that the security of these long-time relationships resists any feelings of rejection or loneliness.

• 60 percent of all new homes built in 2015 will feature accommodations for two master bedrooms, so that each individual in the relationship can retire to their own sleeping quarters at the end of the day. This statistic comes from the National Home Builders Association.

The final message here is that if your relationship is suffering from sleep disturbances, then sleeping in separate rooms may just save your marriage… or even your life! In extreme cases, where one individual is disturbing as much as an hour of sleep per night of their partner, their risk of stroke, heart disease, depression and even divorce can practically double.

However, with that said, don’t be fooled into thinking that you can solve other relationship difficulties by separating your beds. These might include loss of attraction, disinterest in sex or gradual feelings of falling out of love. These are quite separate problems in a relationship, which will only get worse if you turn away from your spouse. Separate beds are a last resort for couples having troubles getting a good night’s rest, but should never be a crutch for an already crumbling marriage.

Thoughts…opinions?

We must all think alike, be alike and like the same things!

by Ann

Political correctness, propaganda, mind control, actual brainwashing is taking over our country led by the media and the government’s self-serving agenda.

It’s their goal to tell the sheeple what to think, what to say, what to eat, how to vote, what to like, how to live. Instead of being educated to think for themselves or to inform them, ‘they’ are trying to ‘train’ people to do what ‘they’ want. And the ‘they’ is the government backed and funded by ‘certain’ industries and people. And it’s to secure their positions, and gain control, in order, to have power over the masses. And to get power and control over the masses, ‘they’ must brainwash them into submission.
 
People are getting dumber and dumber making them easier to be led. They don’t want to think for themselves. The sheeple sit in front of the TV, computers, pay attention to hand held gadgets, and follow most anything that they are fed, apparently without the ability to discern the truth. Or they keep so busy running around that they aren’t really hearing what is being said and are not recognizing what is being done.

If they hear it on Oprah, or some other talk show or some reality show or some agenda-filled news program, they take it as truth, and incorporate it into what and who they are – instead, of researching, thinking about it and coming to their own conclusions.

This is how a totally unqualified man became President of the United States. He became a media creation started by Oprah and here we are with our rights, liberties and lifestyle on the brink of destruction. He is a community organizer and this meanst that he convinces people to do as he leads them. He states that if it’s repeated over and over that the ‘sheeple’ will believe it. And when they don’t, he splashes his face in the media and repeats it again and again, then one more time, and even in a different way, and even contradicting himself. He will say ‘whatever’ he ‘thinks’ is needed to be heard to ‘convince’. He talks down to people and it’s insulting to us all. His statements and what he does and is doing shows no respect for the rights and will of the people. It only shows allegiance and concern for his agenda and that of those that back him.


Much is being covered up about Obama, who he is, where he came from and who backed him and it is being done by those that wish to control and become powerful and wealthy off the ignorance of the sheeple, along with him. He is their puppet , their front man, their snake oil salesman, and he loves the attention and power over others. He never realized that he SERVES the people!

Individual freedoms are being taken away daily as the rights of the people are taken away under the propaganda of ‘equality’.

We are not all the same! We all have different lineage, talents, genetics and circumstances. We all have rights, but we are not all the same and no one can make us the same. Unless, they supress us, control us into submission by rules, laws, fines, penalities and more control. In other words, take away our freedoms in the name of ‘equality’ and we all become alike and more easily controlled. Then we are a weakened people, able to be herded,  more numbed out, then led to slaughter. We are being treated like animals,  specimens, or chattel, even product, instead of human beings.
 
Take away a human being’s individuality and you have a zombie that is ready to be told what to do. Because the ability to discern and to think for self is diminished if not destroyed.

We all have different likes, dislikes, morals, talents, intelligence levels, aptitudes, body types, families and lifestyles. And this is our individuality and our choice.

Take indvidual choice away and give it to the government and what will be created is the evil of control of everything that we do. All choice and individuality will be taken away, mushing us all into one gray mess. Choice is what makes America what it is and is why those who came here wanted to be here.
FREEDOM!

CHOICE! The freedom to be an individual without the government, ‘ruling class’, or rulers stifling who that you are.

Think about this hard and long.

If they take one freedom away after another, another, then another, pretty soon you might not realize how totally your life and choices are being taken away, even GONE and that you are being controlled by ‘others’ led by the government and under their control.

Then when ‘they’ swoop in and take all of your rights. Will you be ‘surprised’?! When  they turn on you, the ‘you’ that ‘thought’, ‘actually brainwashed’ to think that ‘they’ were doing such good, nice things for you. When they take your property, your children, your car, your, gun, your choice of education, your choice of where to work, your choice of what to eat, your money; etc. They take all of your resources until you are totally dependent on them andTHEY TOTALLY CONTROL YOU! Will you like it then?

AND…If you don’t like or disagree with someone, it doesn’t make you a racist or a hater. It only means that you disagree and would rather be with ‘like kind’ and that you have an opinion… an individual opinion. It makes you who you are,  unique, an individual with rights and freedoms.

We were made individuals by our creator and placed in individual circumstances and are different for reasons. It gives interest, life, creativity, challenges, growth, and we are different colors for reasons. There are different races for reasons. Do you think that the different races and nationalities are an accident? It was done on purpose. And the races and nationalities have different strengths, weaknesses, and traits and they were created this way for a reason. We were not created alike. We were created different. We are all different. We are each unique! There is a reason for those differences. It’s called individuality. And it is GOOD!

Not to harm anyone, but if you don’t like or want to be around certain people that is your right and privilege.

Some people love the color purple. I don’t. Does that make me a purple ‘hater’ or a bad person? No! It just means that I have an individual opinion. What if the government decided that we should all wear purple because it was a more ‘environmentally’ friendly color (don’t even get me started on envirionmental BS) Think of a world where purple is the only color that we can wear. How mundane, gross and disgusting would that become? Even if you loved the color purple, you would end up tiring of it.

We lose our individuality and we will lose what we are about and that will ultimately destroy us all. It will make the world into nothing.

Take away individual likes, dislikes, opinions, rights, freedoms, and try to make everyone the same and equal and you lose freedoms, rights, energy and life!

We must strive and fight to maintain our individuality! We must shrink the government and grow the private sector! It’s the power, ingenuity and desire of the individual that makes America great and we need to expound on that, rediscover it, and all its facets and instill it in us renewed, and make it stronger!

The freedom to live, think, have opinions, like or dislike, talk, express, choose for ourselves!

Feel free to share your individual and unique thoughts on what I have written…

The Gift of Friendship…

Friendship is the gift of  time, respect, caring, honesty, truthfulness, and being genuine among other attributes. And the only time a true friend will block you is when you are on the way down.

There are all kinds of friends. There are long time friends that you see every so often, but the moment you see them, it’s like you catch  up right away and it feels as if no time as passed at all. 

There are old friends from high school or college that you don’t see much, but with whom you have lasting and bonding memories and a sweet familiarity that comforts.

There are friends that enter your life for awhile while then go on their way.

Some people have many ‘friends’ around them. They surround themselves with people. Some, they know well, some, they don’t really know at all, but it doesn’t matter, they have the need to surround themselves with activity and people. It’s as if talking about how many friends they have makes them feel some how important and better about themselves  They are people collectors. They have a need to be attached to groups. They may use people and be ‘social climbers’ as they are not really close to anyone and will turn on them and turn them in for a new friend at their whim. Then will re-establish the ‘friendship’ with the person that they were backstabbing, if and when the mood suits them.  They are all about themselves and are not a true friend to anyone and that includes to their self. I am sure that you have experienced them. They smooch up to everyone and care about no one. They suck energy, chew people up, then spit them out.

Those who gossip with you, gossip about you.
 
Some people have a close knit group that travels with them throughout life, as if the bond and memories from childhood, high school or college holds them together for a lifetime. 

A habit, sport, interest, or lifestyle can bond people, ie, overweight people may bond together – those that workout may group  together – art lovers or bird watchers usually enjoy being around like-minded people.

Addictions sustain some friendships…drinking buddies… those that do drugs. Stock Photo - women drinking martinis. fotosearch - search stock photos, pictures, wall murals, images, and photo clipart
But when the addiction is confronted and let go of, the ‘friendship’ usually ceases. There are positive friend influences then there are negative…the uplifting and the degrading.

Some people have a variety of friends with many interests and in varying groups.

Others continue to grow past friendships, as their life changes, their circle of friends change, also. They continue learning, growing, so friends from their past, while still there, are not as revelent as before. Some are fearful of new friends. They may venture out, but then pull back as the demand for growth overwhelms them and they long for the comfort of familiarity.

Some are stuck in a time frame, where they felt the happiest, and most accepted or they are stunted and don’t want, or have a fear of growing and changing past old comfort zones. Like holding onto an article of clothing or sticking with the same hairstyle when you
‘thought’ that you were the most attractive,  Some may stick with old groups, afraid ‘to’ change… afraid ‘of’ change. Stuck in a rut … all the friends stay stuck together.

Some stick in a group that they ‘think’ keeps them young. Others desire friends of an intellectual challenge. 

The tension to grow and rise up can also be the catalyst for friendship. Being around stimulating friends that test your mettle and challenge your thoughts and lifestyle can be both exhilarating and fun.

There is nothing like the comfort of a true friend. Someone that really knows and accepts you, flaws and all.

But a true friend is difficult to find and to develop, as it takes both people to have integrity in the friendship, and the resilience and self-awareness to grow, change, forgive, and heal together. If you have one or two really good and true friends in your lifetime, you are blessed.

You are free to let your guard down among true friends. All tests will bring the same result that you remain together. A true friend helps hide your vulnerability while allowing for confrontation.  A true friend helps you to recognize and fill up your holes.  A true friend will look at themselves and their behavior and ‘own it’ when they have wronged you.  A true friend rebounds time and time again. An enemy exploits or runs away from the truth of friendship thus avoiding the truth of whom, and, of what they are.

A true friend is quick to apologize when they are wrong. A true friend releases wrongs and doesn’t hold grudges. While disagreeing and arguing, a true friend listens, forgives and looks for ways to resolve.

Sometimes, you can misjudge a friendship and think someone is true then you discover that they are using you, talking behind your back, or trying to make themselves feel important by putting you down, or are after you for what you have, or whom you know. They may appear sweet and sincere, but you soon realize that they are false and phony. Our friend-enemies are destroyed, the moment we make our stand and witness against them.

Friends can define you and you can know someone by the company that they keep.

And different friends bring out different attributes in yourself to either recognize and to grow from, or into, as friendship is a mirror and reflection. Friendships are community and communication and is, perhaps, why we are here on earth. 

I would rather have one true friend than a boat load of superficial or false ones. 

Most of us have a mix of friendships, long time ones, business friends, social friends, acquaintance friends, party friends, activity friends, confide in friends, mentor friends, internet friends, etc.,

What kind of friendships do you have? Are you a true friend to others?
What constitutes a true friend to you?

Things Men Might Want To Know About Women And Sex

By Ann
What might men want to know? Without running the risk of writing a multi-volume encyclopedia, let me hit five major highlights

1. Sexual appetite in women only increases with age

This is a generalization, but is based on fact in most cases. As women mature, they become more comfortable with their bodies and themselves, adding to the uninhibited behavior that is so attractive in a sex partner. The typical young, “hot” women in sexy attire can just as easily be self-conscious and unadventurous in bed, as the older, less lusty woman can bring real fire and fun into the boudoir.

2. Even independent women are attracted to caring men

Even though she is self-sufficient and enjoys her independence, she still needs to feel protected and provided for on some level. She may be able to maintain a career and lifestyle that requires a great amount of responsibility, but that doesn’t mean she enjoys doing it alone. In this case, she wants to feel taken care of and that she has chosen a mate that is capable of holding down the fort on the days she feels overwhelmed by her responsibilities.

3. With bedroom etiquette, know that while he may be done, she is probably not

It’s a well-known fact that women require more effort in the bedroom. Sexual satisfaction in men is usually a quick fix, while women often require a good amount of TLC in just the right areas. Just because you’ve reached blastoff doesn’t mean she has even fastened her seatbelt. So for optimum lovemaking, it is up to the guy to make sure the journey has been a success for all parties involved.

4. He can’t expect her to be in better shape than he is     

Men tend to be more visual than women, who reside more often in an emotional arena, so a woman may be more inclined to forgive her mate’s imperfect physical attributes. Many men set a high priority on their partner’s physical shape and appearance, which is only fair if they can return the favor by offering comparable attractiveness. It also stands to reason that if she is in significantly better shape than him, he should definitely appreciate what he’s got and perhaps view her attributes as inspiration for a new exercise regime.

5. Overwhelm her with compliments in the bedroom Stock Photo: Symbol of Romance and Tenderness, Man Kissing Woman Neck in Sepia Tone

Stereotypically, women need more reassurance in the bedroom than men do. Women tend to nitpick regarding their own bodies and most are never 100% satisfied with their physical appearance. Sharing her naked body with someone makes her feel vulnerable and her guy should treat it like a gift, praising all of her positive attributes. Even some exaggeration here can net a bit payoff, for if she feels beautiful and appreciated, she will be more open and responsive to her lover.

You know the old saying that knowledge is power, and for those men who are genuinely interested in getting and keeping their woman, you just might want to commit a few of these to memory.

Ladies, what other things would you add to this list?

It all started because I was HOT!

by Ann

I got into ‘occasionally’ having an ice cream treat, because it was so hot outside. An ice cream cone or a homemade ice cream sandwiche or even bites out of the carton was just what I needed on a hot afternoon. Then I needed it before I went to bed. Then instead of occasionally, I wanted one or even two treats a day.
It was really hot, ya know!?! 

Soon I began to crave the creamy coldness of ice cream. I would dream about its creamy cold feeling in my mouth, sliding down my throat chilling me all over..vanilla bean, coffee, strawberry…

UMMMM….Ice cream and chocolate!

These tasty treats soothed me through the hot summer days in Texas.

Now, it’s cooler, but I am still hooked on the habit. I think I need it!  I want it! I have to have it!

I workout all the time. So, it’s not harming me. Is it?!? Besides, I deserve a treat!

Ah! Oh! I’ve gained some weight. Now, how’d that happen? But I still crave the ice cream. I’ll just workout more! Only, I’d rather eat ice cream!

The ice cream! The chocolate…the yum….

One more bite!

Just one more bite! Then I quit! Cold Turkey! I can do it! I know I can!

I’ll cut out sweets. I’ll eat right again and move more! I will be okay! I will get passed this! I will! I know that I will!

Can anyone relate?!?!

Conflict

by Ann
Conflict seems to be instilled in human beings. Conflict arises when a perceived dominance or peace of mind is challenged.

 

We all want to believe that we are right, better than, correct, have a handle on things and when we don’t feel this or feel threatened, we enter into conflict.

 

Dominant personalities find it difficult to accept that they may be wrong, hence conflict. They may not be able to arrive at resolution as easy as others. They may turn their head, try to ignore it, or try to make the other person bad, shamed, or wrong, to avoid admitting conflict in themselves.

 

People are drawn to conflict. They like to take sides, protect and cheer for the underdog, or cheer and side with the winner. It’s just good old competition.

Take the arena of sports… the conflict is exhilarating to some. Others don’t like it as much. Some don’t like it at all. But it’s certainly been around, in some form, forever.

If there was no conflict, there would be no need for peacemakers.

 

Conflict helps us to define and sort out who we are. It is like a rock that breaks us, rocks us, splits us apart, to either mold, hide our heads, pushes us to growth, or pushes us away.

 

Conflict is a part of life. There is a reason and purpose for it. Accept, learn and grow from it, or deny, run from, or sneak around it, but it will always be there.

In your lifetime, you will be both a spectator of and involved in conflict many, many times over. It’s called being alive. The tension from conflict is what keeps our world moving.

 Wheels need tension to get down the road. Too smooth is not always all that good.

Have you ever thought about or or defined your conflict style? We all have one. Awareness of your style will help you to understand yourself and others. Admit it or not, you still have one. How about sharing it with us for the purpose of discussion?
 

Playing on Tulsa Time!

by Ann
While in Tulsa recently, on a hot, humid day, my much loved niece, Cory, and I spent a day playing and walking down memory lane.  Cory drove us around in her new Subaru.First, we went to the Gap, where Cory works. 

Then  off to lunch, at the Wild Fork restaurant, in Utica Square…

Where we pigged out on almost a taste of everything, including onion strings. Total YUM!
Then shopping. shopping and more shopping, following a 24 year-old around, while she shops for what to wear when her boyfriend, Ryan, comes in from OU, is well, exhausting, but fun. I was once the very same way. My choice back in the day, was Miss Jackson’s.

Most of the time, we dressed more formally than the young people of today. 
 


I also worked part time at Miss Jackson’s, while attending TU.
Later in the day, it was back to Dad’s…

 

A nice relaxing day, playing in a more laid back timeframe then in Dallas… Love it! Good ole Tulsa time!

Family…the good, the bad and the craziness!

by Ann
My sisters and I hosted a small celebratory dinner for Dad for his 86th birthday, with most of his immediate family and a couple of his friends, in attendance. Like most families, we have the jokester, the tormentor, and the usual sarcasm. We know each other’s secrets and some other things, too. We get along then we don’t. We love each other, but could annihilate with a glance or an admission, as in. “I recall, when thus and so happened.” Some get along well, some better than others and some don’t get along well at all. Some are jealous, some arrogant, some too sweet and kind. Some honest and some manipulative, as they listen and observe what’s happening then lay in wait to use it to their advantage, or to laugh, or jab about it at a later date.

Some think eating at McDonald’s is the greatest, while others never eat fast food and everyone thinks that they are right. Some drink a lot and others not much. And pictures can be deceiving… as the one holding two wine bottles doesn’t indulge much at all.

Some are happy. Some are genuine and some are fake. Some are silly, some are serious and most are a mix of everything depending on their mood. Some will be angry that I put this on the internet. Others will think it’s cool! Pretty much the typical family!

And we have a former, Bishop of Oklahoma, to bless it all! Through it all and in spite of everything, there is the connection of love. We are family! Family is the backbone of America. Not the government, but FAMILY. Those with it have a strength and support and don’t have the need to lean on others. Thank you Dad for being our impervious leader. 

Happy Birthday Dad!!! 

I love you very much!

Dad with his four daughters…

“We are family! I’ve got all my sisters with me!”

Debbie did the work. We all just showed up!

Just when I thought it couldn’t get more stupid!

By Ann

It does. Not just stupid, but scary stupid! A male ‘acquaintance ‘ sends me a joke by email. A bit of background on this man. His wife left him. He still cares for her and realizes that he did many things that caused the downfall of their marriage. (at least, that’s a beginning to his awareness, you’d think so, huh?)
                                                                                                             Laughing : Surprise - A very surprised man- Close-up of a young man looking very surprised.
Then he sends this ‘joke’ to a woman like me.     

The joke:

A New Zealander walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says…
 “Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache.”
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
 “If you weren’t such an idiot, you’d know that’s a sheep, not a cow.”
The guy replies,
“If you weren’t such a presumptuous bitch, you’d realize I was talking to the sheep.”

SO! Where do I start? It’s an old joke – an insulting joke – a sexist joke – a crude and a crass joke.

And one better left told amongst men, while in a group, playing golf,  at some sporting event, or in the locker room, or while chewing the fat and drinking together…

And this man sends it to me! Yeah! HA HA!

FEAR! What’s your deepest fear?

By Ann
My fear is to go blind. And recently, I had an eye scare! It felt like I had something in one of my eyes, all the time. And I was seeing out of the corner of that eye a kind of a web like mess. It felt like a piece of my hair from my bangs was in my eye, but I would check and brush my hair back and the feeling was still there. I cleansed my eye, rinsed it out. Looked into it with a magnifying mirror and went without eye make-up. Then the feeling would come and go. I was beginning to FREAK OUT! My eye! My eyes! Not my eyes!

I told all my friends and asked their opinions. They all had suggestions and had experienced similar things. And they comforted me telling me that it was probably nothing…

BUT!  it wasn’t going away.  My eyes! My eyes! My fear is to go blind! I love to read, I love to write! Oh no, not my eyes!

I scheduled an eye exam with my doctor, hadn’t had an eye check up in about two years.

At the examination, I shared with Dr. Brooks, my fear of going blind. While examining me, she told me that her fear was flying.
I said well, imagine how you’d feel getting on an airplane because that is how I feel right now. My stomach hurts. I feel sick and calmy… I…

Dr. Brooks: I don’t get on an airplane anymore. I just won’t! I will check your eyes out thoroughly. Just relax.

Easy for her to say! 

After the examination and all the tests, the result is that I have a floater. It looks to Dr. Brooks like it’s detached which is good. Other than that my eyes are very healthy.

WHEW! Thank you GOD!!! I go back in a month for a follow up….

So, I have revealed my scary, deadly fear and Dr. Brooks revealed hers. What is yours? We all have them.

FEAR is not an enemy. It can be our friend. It warns us when we need to act, change directions, check something out, or maybe, just run away from something or someone. FEAR is a normal reaction and it’s instinctual.

If we act, address, confront, or figure it out, then the FEAR is released as the action, we take or information gleaned creates awareness to understanding.

Deny your FEARS and you deny a piece of yourself. Of course, it’s wise, not to let fear paralyze us, or to make us paranoid, or to make us sick from worry. Worry can be fear’s partner in crime.

Address your fear in every way possible then you are more able to release it. Admitting fears can be the first step to dissipating them.

So, what is your FEAR? Are you brave enough to admit it to yourself and to share it? 

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