Confidence or arrogance, virtue or vice…

Arrogance should never be confused with having an innate sense of self-respect and healthy confidence. Initially, these character traits may come across as similar, but if you look more closely, you will readily perceive how differently they manifest themselves in real life. With a little effort and insight, you can avoid the mistake of misidentifying a sense of self-importance and superiority with the real deal: a truly confident person with an inherent sense of peace, an openness to others’ thoughts and lifestyles, and with nothing to prove to anyone else. Let’s look at a few major differences between leading a self-assured life and a self-inflated existence.

Arrogance can often come from self-misconception and false perception, an inflated ego that tells the person they are better than all others around them. How a person views themselves is often contrary to how the rest of the world views them. Even if arrogant people truly have more talent than others in a given field, the idea that they are superior to others because of this talent still represents a skewed perception of themselves. After all, no one is perfect, everyone has faults, and there’s always someone out there better than you at your talent.

Arrogance is often an attempt by someone with low self-esteem to gain praise from others through false confidence. Through seeking praise from the outside world, they hope to gain a feeling of worth that they may not otherwise feel in themselves. Conversely, people with confidence are comfortable with their accomplishments remaining under wraps, and have no compelling need to consistently brag about their achievements.

Another aspect of arrogance is that it does not lead to loyal relationships, as arrogant individuals seem to only attract those who are looking to use them for the very things they brag about. Then, too, they might attract others with equally inflated egos, where their main connection is boasting of their accomplishments together and making others feel inferior to themselves. These types of negative relationships do not weather the harder times in your life, when things get difficult or problems arise. When the going gets tough, these fair-weather friends will be nowhere to be found.

Confident people, on the other hand, don’t need to belittle or put down others with less success in their lives, in order, to feel better about themselves or their accomplishments, as arrogant people often do.

Confidence has humility embodied within it, an inner strength that does not diminish others, but lifts them up with the unperceivable shining of their light – a sort of charisma resulting from a surety in who they are as human beings. Arrogance, on the other hand, has a person claiming, even demanding their proper respect and “adoration” from those beneath them, who they perceive to be cut from lesser cloth.

Confident people tend to be more aware and accepting of those times when they aren’t always in the right. They can live with the idea that no one is perfect and don’t feel unduly threatened when confronted with their mistakes or limitations. In contrast, arrogant people tend to think only their vision is correct, unlike confident people who are able to see other points of view, and if necessary, adjust accordingly.

People with confidence are not upset when challenged by others, whether the debate is regarding ideas, abilities, or opinions. Confident people are open and accepting of different viewpoints, while arrogant people often do not allow much room for debate, insisting instead that their thoughts and beliefs are the only ones that count.

Clearly, confidence and arrogance are on opposite ends of the character spectrum with one emerging as a virtue and the other, a most unpleasant vice.

Single, or in a relationship LIVE! Create new experiences!

If you find yourself constantly aware of wanting to be alone and hibernate, to play the hermit, to sit home alone and feel sorry for yourself, you are pushing yourself down into a depression, illness, or worse. Be proactive, and you can make it through the holidays without the darkness claiming your happiness! Choosing to dwell on the more depressing aspects of your life can be dangerous.

I won’t be a cheerleader here, because I’ve been there, and I know how the pep talks can irritate when you feel like “hiding.” If you’ll hear me out, think about making the following choices during the holidays. Everywhere you look, they’re “selling” family and relationships on TV, in movies, on the radio… how can you avoid feeling lonely?

Don’t automatically say no. When friends ask you out, or over, or to a party, don’t say no immediately, and do not melodramatically claim that they are “only” doing it because they feel “sorry” for you. No matter what, why, or how, this is an opportunity to enjoy the company of others, to find something funny and laugh, or to meet new people, or find new interests. If you stop that knee jerk reaction of “No, I just want to go home and be alone” and say, “Thank you, I’ll come for a while,” you may end up having fun.
Stay away from “downers” – sad movies, morose “he dun me wrong” music, people that are negative. If your family of origin is a downer… plan a trip to see friends or loved ones that you enjoy over the holidays instead! Or do something fun and invite a friend.
If it winds up that you happen to spend one of those “family days” when you are “feeling” alone, you can plan a special dinner and movie for yourself, dress up, make YOUR favorite food or just have dessert! To fill time, you can make calls to others that you haven’t talked to in a while just to wish them “happy holidays,” and if all else fails, you can volunteer somewhere. Helping others is an amazing way to get your mind off your woes!
In fact, that is one suggestion that I absolutely think is great. If you get to a place where you’re spending all your free time depressed, or feeling sad about your situation, you can use my trick. If I’m too much in my own head and life, too self centered, I go and volunteer. There are hundreds of groups, programs, homes and hospitals that can always use some help… and that, my friends, will bring you back to the world of living, and help you move your life forward again!

Okay Men! Questions! Dare you respond?

What do you have to offer a woman?

What do you have to give a woman?

What is it about you that would enhance a woman’s life?

What about you would make a woman desire you?

What do you want from a woman?

Why do you want a woman in your life?

Answer one! Answer them all! We, women, would like to know what you have for us….and what you want from us….

Stop! Difficult to believe, but…

Men if you are after, want to meet a quality woman,  want to get to know her, have a real interest in her and desire a relationship with quality, NOT just driven by your sexual neediness, or ego need to conquer and capture her, or to ‘show her off’…                                                                     

                                                                                              Don’t write or say things such as these:

After I told a man that I wasn’t interested in him, after he was rude and aggressive in an email and in one five minute phone conversation, this is how he continued to respond.

These are the actual email messages, (I copied and pasted, the name hidden to protect the ‘crazy’.)

“Would you meet me RIGHT NOW so I can hug your neck and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.  You really like me, you want to meet me and you want my arms around you.  And, that is what I want.  I want to squeeze you so tight that will will never want to tell me to let you go.  I am a true lover that has more to give than any man on earth.  And, you are the person I want to give it to.  You are beautiful!   You are hot!  And, I bet you are a real lover!  I want to find out what you have to offer a real man like me.  Are you ready??  The night is getting short!!”

I didn’t reply yet he continued:

“Ann (O gorgeous one) Why do you reject me when I am crazy about your pictures and you profile?  Can’t you forgive a person for making a simple mistake.  I think you want me as bad as I want you, but you are too arrogant to admit it.  You could be holding up the greatest love affair ever. Would you eat breakfast with me tomorrow morning?  I want to show you off to some friends.”

And continued:

“I went thru your website.  You are pretty impressive.  If you had me, you would be more impressive.”

And continued: 

“I do believe I could fall in love with a person like you.  I love fiesty woman.  I would love to have a ‘wildcat’ for a lover!”

I emailed him to stop contacting me.

Then the phone rang. I did not answer. He left a message, pretty much saying similar things as the above.

The emails continued: ( Yes! a grown man, who has a daughter, actually wrote these to a woman that he had never met in person.)


The next one:


And the next:


“How about a big box of candy??”


Now, he’s boasting, I  did edit this one to protect his identity:

“I am a highly intelligent, genuinely honest, and extremely caring person.  I am also a writer and I am known worldwide.   I am also deeply involved in politics and I communicate often with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, future House Majority Leader John Boehner, as well as many othe politicians, Foxnews, MSNBC, Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, President Obama, ExxonMobil executives. and many other people.  But, I don’t think for a minute that I am better than the next person.  Some people let a little fame ruin there lives and real friendships.”


I want you!!

I miss you!! I lust for you!!

“You Are So Beautiful” Please call!!

All this from a man that I have never met and only spent five minutes on the phone. There were more emails, but I thought these enough to show clearly someone that either can’t deal with rejection, wants what he wants with no regard for what the woman wants, and writes outrageous and over the top comments to a woman that he has never met in person. Also, there was another phone call where he left the message. “Why are you being mean to me?”

Okay! men read and learn..  WHAT exactly did this man think that he would accomplish by his approach!? That he would overwhelm me!?  That he could force me to like him and want to meet him?! That by his aggressive and pushy approach that I would want to meet him and forget what I want and just fall in love with him in one night?


This is an example of exactly how NOT to approach a woman on any level.
Discussion, Please!

And please look to the left and click to follow…

Power to the People! The government serves us…

not the other way around! When did the government forget this???


How did the government manage the flip from being our representatives to being our repressors? Is it because they are voted in and more represent the class that feels entitled to be carried by the productive class?
And these people need the government control and the government needs them to need the control, in order, to keep their rule, dominate and control power trip as they get wealthier and gain more power off the backs of the people.

Time to end this government charade. Any group qualified to produce enough to carry such a worthless burden should be qualified to regulate their own lives.

I say government BUTT out of our lives.. And serve the will of the people.. instead of trying to infiltrate and control every aspect of our lives…

The government is taking away money from Americans and giving it to illegal aliens. How do ‘they’ have a right to do this? How did this ever even come up as a topic for consideration?

How did the government get so much control over the American people’s income, property, estates, education, and now, healthcare, businesses, food…on and on…etc.???

And why does someone who has paid taxes all their life, need to pay more taxes when they die? It’s government bloat and greed. It’s taking away from families to pass businesses, farms, property and wealth to their lineage.. it is government confiscation of wealth and property and it is of evil and repression of freedom and choice!

Why does the government want power over a family’s money? It is the evil of control. The government wants all the wealth, all the power to feed its bloated belly.

And this vilifying of those that have attained something is down right unAmerican! Someone gains the American dream of success and now, it’s to be given to the government to give to others. And there is ‘something’ called ‘the dream something’ that they are giving to illegals…

There are houses built in my town by illegals and they are horribly built. There is no craftmanship any longer.. Houses used to take awhile to be built and they were built well by Americans! And we speak English in America! And we dress as Americans do.. women with lovely hair showing and faces where smiles can be seen.

What in America is really going on? It’s like the government is trying to control every aspect of everything, even our thoughts and our right to like, or to not like someone or some practice.

It is like the government thinks that it is doing us a favor for allowing us to keep any of our money. 

All our freedom of choice and privacy are being diminished even taken away.

America was founded in order to get away from this kind of repression and rule.

Anything the government touches it messes up. And the bigger the government gets the more messed up it gets.

My Dad is a disabled veteran and is paid full benefits. At a time, when he became financially successful, he wanted to give these benefits back and for the government agency to stop paying him. He called to tell the government to please give his benefits to someone who does have the need. He didn’t want to take what he didn’t need when someone else could benefit.  He was told that they could not do this. That it would cause too much red tape for them to process and that he must take it. To which my father stated, “Government agencies are idiots! I am trying to give money back and they are too stupid to figure out how to take it.”

Of course, my Dad during his lifetime has done much for others and he found a way to give back many times over.

We don’t need the government to tell us to give. We don’t need the government to take our money and to give it to others. It is not the government’s right to do this.

Left on our own, in the private sector, and as a people, we do give back over and over to others… out of the goodness of our hearts. This is not a government mandate. And when we as a private sector give, we can make sure that less goes to waste, or administrative bloat, and that it goes to the actual cause and need.

Let families take care of their members. Let churches, friends and neighbors help others. And let us have tax benefits for doing this. Let the government butt out!

Be it in time, service or money, Americans give more than anyone.

Government stay out of our lives.. Shrink the Government. Give America back to the people.
We are industrious, creative and kind.

The government is to serve us, not the other way around!
The Government is not god…


In This Media Frenzy, Where Are The Real Journalists?

 by Ann

When I was in college, we were taught that it was of upmost importance to report something with NO bias. It was a journalist’s job to give NO opinion and certainly not to allow personal opinion to flow through a story. That a journalist’s duty was to report the FACTS and to CHECK them out thoroughly BEFORE reporting or writing anything, INTEGRITY was stressed and stressed and stressed again.


OPINION was to be given only in an opinion article, but NEVER from a ‘real’ journalist.  Journalists were fired for anything less than reporting FACTS, researched FACTS. FACTS, that could be backed with PROOF.


Today, we have a media frenzy that writes about, talks about, and gives opinions about EVERYTHING. Little seems to be researched thoroughly. It’s the shock value that is more desired than truth or facts. Either that or all the SPIN and LIES are to COVER-UP that what IS really important and REALLY NEEDS to be investigated and revealed.


Where are the real investigative reporters? Would one stand up? Would one start doing something about this media travesty? Is anyone out there with integrity? Someone that is not driven by some bought and paid for agenda? Might there be one or two that want to REVEAL the TRUTH?!


The main stream media has become like a propaganda machine. They report like brainwashed robots. They back stab and vilify those who don’t agree with them, behaving like spoiled angry children. Who is really behind this? Who owns these media conglomerates and who benefits from the ideas that are being promoted? Example: GE owns NBC and we KNOW GE’s connections. So, ummm, no journalism there… only propaganda with driven agenda. Buy GE’s light bulbs, so the planet won’t get hotter and watch NBC as they sell you what they want you to think and believe. YEAH RIGHT!


They all seem to attack Fox and why? Why does what Fox reports, bother the others so much? Why does what Fox reports, bother the White House so much? It seems to make certain ones crazy and they go all out on the attack. Calling it FAUX NEWS, when it actually appears like the ones screaming this are the FAUX ONES. It’s childlike and what it shows is how threatened that they are? Or is it plain PROJECTION?! Why? I ask. Why are certain media entities so threatened by others? It’s AGENDA and has nothing to do with real, honest news reporting. ASOLUTELY NOTHING!


The White House even FIRED a woman because they thought that she was going to be on FOX NEWS. How utterly dictator-like is this behavior. IT IS WRONG! IT IS UNAMERICAN!



And again, journalism is not ‘supposed’ to have an agenda. It is simply ‘SUPPOSED’ to be reporting the news, even things that they don’t agree with or want to report.  Journalism is reporting FACTS, all the FACTS and NOT covering up things because they are asked to or slanting them a certain way because they are told to or because they are PAID OFF by favors.


What we have NOW is nothing, but agenda! And the agenda is driven by who owns the newspaper, the website, the TV station, etc. And it is not subtle any longer. It is blatant agenda of policy, financial changes and those in control making money and wielding power and control over the masses. It is so obvious, that it reeks, but still some can’t discern. Or perhaps, many can, as they turn away from certain media entities and go to the others.


Then we have all this Hollywood and entertainment news reported over and over. It’s predator-like, intrusive, presumptive, and sometimes wrong and many times, outrageous and can even ruin lives.  And it takes the attention off the real news – the news that affects each one of our lives, like what bills are being pushed though that take away freedoms and the real background information of those in politics who are making these bills and policies. This is being done daily.

THEY think that if something is repeated often enough that the masses will believe it because ‘they’ think that the people can’t THINK for themselves.

I am insulted by all this media propaganda! I am tired of it. I am tired of the threats of censorship from our current administration. I am tired of the lies, the cover-ups, the reactionary actions without investigation, the wrongly placed blame, the reckless spending, the non-reporting and the blatant LIES… did I mention the lies?!


The first thing that a Dictatorship does is to buy off, threaten, and control the media, in order, to control the minds of the masses.


Do we as a country want paid for propaganda coming from the media that are leading many by the nose into an unimaginable hell?
Where are the REAL JOURNALISTS who are willing to risk everything to reveal the truth, the facts!?


FYI – ‘THE VIEW’ –  ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT – OPRAH, ETC. are NOT real sources of news. They are bought and paid for spewing and for entertainment.   Enjoy, but don’t mistake it as the real news.

I noticed this morning that for the few seconds that I could stand to watch THE VIEW.. that Joy Behar used the word – SPEW.. interesting … very interesting! 



Have you ever had someone try to…

by Ann
Lit_candles : Candle on Black Blackground
put your light out? Or even try to diminish your spirit, your soul? Have you ever had someone see your divine light and being so attracted to it, they come after your glow to try and capture it for their own?

And by so doing, their actions and behaviors and harm begin to diminish and almost snuff the light right out of you…

They see your happiness, your light. They attract to it and they wonder where it comes from, or they are jealous, and, or envious so they try to figure out why you are so content, at peace in your spirit and why you glow. They try to claim it for their own.
Then when they realize that they can’t…they may ‘try’ to erradicate it in you.

But taking, diminishing and dimming another’s light, isn’t the way. Only the darkness can’t see this for they are in the dark.

But the dark can recognize the light…

Not realizing that the light comes from a connection deep within, pulled from the source above and that it is endless in its abundance and love and is theirs for the asking. Not to try and ‘take’ or diminish it from another, but to connect to it for themselves.

The dark doesn’t ‘get’ this. The dark tries to take, even steal, the light from others.

But in so doing, the dark actually defines the light and flames it to shine even brighter because the light always reveals the dark…

The dark doesn’t ‘get’ that the light is anchored within and may be temporarily  dimmed, or retreat for a moment, or awhile, but it always returns and sometimes to even shine brighter. And it’s in the giving, not the taking that it shines even brighter. The dark doesn’t ‘get’ this…The dark can’t see, or stand this…

So, the dark keeps ‘trying’ to diminish and take the light…and by so doing, loses its chance to experience the very thing that it wants and desires. The light.

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” — Matthew –

In this season of love, forgiveness and giving shine your light brightly onto others. Glow your lightShine into the darkness. Reveal…the dark.

Why ‘bad’ boys and girls excite…

is used in commercials. It grabs our attention! We human beings have an animal reaction to sex. It is innate, a drive that allows us to propagate and survive as a race. We are attracted to that which promises the quickest and surest route to sex, driven by the tiny bit of our brain in charge of species survival.

So something overt and obvious such as when that hottie walks by and the mind takes a vacation and the endorphins start to boil and bubble, and before you know it, you’re raising an eyebrow with a “come hither” look in your eyes. You’re physically affected by just the nearness of this person even without knowing a single thing about them!

This can affect the choices we make in what to wear and how to wear it. We want to be attractive to potential lovers; however, this doesn’t always attract the type of person that will stay and build a “nest.” Or a person that is emotionally stable and mature enough to create and maintain an enduring relationship.

We do control our behaviors with our minds. Athough, it seems difficult to believe, at times.

The truth is that human beings are afraid of change, and some will continue in their rut until it kills them… but you don’t have to! Many thinking people overcome their fear of change and create new and happier lives.
“But old tapes” need to be replaced with “new tapes.” Wise people and those with with emotional wisdom control their thoughts and behaviors, instead of letting their emotions controlling them. 

beautiful brunett model in studio on light background ...Look at the marketing images used to attract. They are aimed at basHandsome : Man posing for the camerae emotional responses. See them for what they are – shallow images concocted by an advertising team, meant to control and manipulate.

Is that beauty in the ad really attainable for the average man?
Or is that ‘hunk’ what most men look like?

Cut out some magazine ads, put a label over the middle of them, and write “LIES” across them in RED. Now go through magazines and find images of people holding hands, healthy couples (not Hollywood versions) and other positive images, and begin to create a dream board.Married_couples : Woman reaching with her hand into the pan to taste what her boyfriend made Stock Photo Men : Portrait of a smiling elderly couple embracingThis is a poster board with images that you select and place on it, images which support your healthy change. Look at the board just before you go to sleep.

Let go of the need for the “sudden impulse” of attraction, and give yourself some rules to govern how you proceed. Sure there needs to be attraction, but that ‘overwhelming sexual draw’, many times, leads to nothing, but shallowness and superfical attraction. That sexual draw can blind you to who the person really is and distort real feelings. 

Here are some suggestions:

Don’t attribute personality traits to someone based on your physical attraction to them, wait to get to know them. If someone leads with their ‘sexuality’ ask yourself why? What’s their motive?  Most people who tend to do this, either male or female, are using their sexuality either to control, or to hide behind.

Six Week Rule: Wait six weeks of knowing, dating, seeing this person to decide if you even want to pursue the relationship further.

Six Month Rule: After six months, the “real” person will be visible. The false front or ‘act’, if there is one, usually can’t be maintained much longer.

Think before you give your heart to a marketing lie.

Now these are only ‘guidelines’… sure there’s that one in a million love at first site that lasts a lifetime..

What are some other methods for developing healthier sexual attitudes and relationships?

Are you more than, less than, or…?

by Ann

egual to?

Do you feel like you are more than others, better than others? Do you feel arrogant, bloated in your self-esteem and full of yourself?

Do you stay in this place most of the time except… for when you sink low and feel much less than others, feel like nothing, insignificant and not as good as others? 

When there are extremes in these levels in an individual and I am not talking as extreme as in mental, or emotional illness here. Although, that can and does play a part, then your internal core is not balanced.

And this can lead to difficulties in every area of your life…

Sure! We all have our bad days, where we feel not so good, fat, stupid, insignificant to others and the world. Our hair looks yucky, etc…. we just have a bad day.. Then other days, we feel on top of the world, we look good, feel good, can do no wrong, are smart and on target with it all.

But anyone with extreme flips in either direction is not balanced in themselves and hasn’t made peace with their self-worth in relation to self and to others. They don’t feel equal to others, instead, they feel more than, or less than. And in their efforts to feel equal, they can do much damage to themselves and to others.

Those that go from arrogance to the pits of depression are out of balance. These are people that when feeling their arrogance, put others down to make themselves feel even better and take advantage of others. They don’t think that ‘others’ are as important as they are … so it matters not to them what they do to others. When actually, they are projecting their own negative self-worth out into the world as they suck energy off of others because theirs is a false arrogance that depends on others for approval. 

They feel less than so they belittle others, but are sensitive to criticism themselves. They can dish it out, but can’t take it themselves. And may even lash out emotionally and inappropriately when they are criticized because they can’t stand that they may not be all that they think that they are in their ‘insecure-arrogant mind’.

When they meet a ‘genuinely’ confident person… they will ‘try’ to overwhelm them, or put them down, or take them down to their size.. because ‘they’ don’t ‘get’ that confidence and arrogance are not the same things.  Genuine confidence threatens them to their empty core.

On the flip side, a person that doesn’t feel, or think that they are as good as others may let others take advantage of them and even let others walk all over them. These people look like they feel, mashed down, the underdog and they are ripe for exploitation on every level.They feel that they have no worth. This can be because of trauma in their lives, or a chemical imbalance, or psychological issues.

It’s all so complex and relies on an internal balance…

But when a person ‘most of the time’ feels equal to tasks, life, people etc. then they will have fewer highs and lows. They are more balanced and feel genuine confidence. They can handle criticism and conflict by taking the time and opportunity to look at self and evaluate. They are not so sensitive, or easily blown, or taken down by the wind of misfortune, or bad days. They flow more easily through life…

To arrive at, equal to, most all of the time requires self-evaluation of your behaviors, reactions and also that of others.

Being equal to is the place to strive for and to be. Because in this place, you will naturally treat others well and with respect because you treat yourself well and with respect. And if you mess up, you will be quick to apologize.

The key here is…you respect yourself, therefore you respect others.

The way that you treat others most of the time reflects how you feel about yourself all the time.

So, are you better than, less than, or equal to? Self-evaluate…

What are your opinions, experiences, or examples?

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