Category Archives: Women In Real Life

How a person eats can tell you much…

???????????????????????????????Do they have manners and know the appropriate etiquette? Do they shovel the food in like they haven’t eaten in days?  Do they chew with their mouth open? Do they serve themselves first, begin eating and not wait for you?

Are they overly picky?  Are they sloppy? Do they savor each bite and enjoy? Or do they shove the food in barely tasting it?…

Ever had a man order before the woman? I had this happen once and I left the table not to return…

There is a time to eat mannerly and a time to pick it up with fingers… do they know the difference?

There are correlations between how a person eats and how they do other things in their life such as making love. Eating habits and manners reflect not only up bringing, class, education, self-awareness, awareness of others and HA!…whether you can take someone to a black tie dinner.

Many times, eating precedes sex.. and is a way to seduce and create romance… but not with a person who has bad eating manners…or a person who stuffs themselves then lays on the sofa in a coma.

I dated a man once and eating with him was a painful experience. He would shovel the food in quickly. And rip it a part, as in onion rings, so he could shovel it in faster… He would touch my food. He had no idea how to serve. He would nod his head and grunt, make noises as in ‘good food’. He was more interested in how much he was getting into his mouth than the quality of it… which is the opposite of me.  Meal time wasn’t a time to communicate, it was to eat. He wanted to get his food into his mouth and fast, so he could get some more. When I think back, he was a poor communicator and he was unsophisticated and inexperienced in his selections of food and restaurants…just plain all around boring…

Watching him eat turned me off so much that I would look away and was even embarrassed to be in a restaurant with him. I was invited to a party during the time I knew him, and chose not to go, if I was to go with him. Of course, I quickly stopped seeing this man as his eating habits reflected in other areas in his life. He was disgusting. My main memory of him is the vision of him eating and it repulses me…and I avoid the restaurants where the memories of this slob pop into my head.

In my worthy relationships, eating is fun, sensuous, a time to be together, cook together, wine and dine together… to create wonderful memories…I enjoy a man who knows how to wine and dine and I love to cook for the ‘right’ man…and enjoy having him cook for me.

Food, eating and its preparation can be fun, sensual and sexy….Manners or not while eating reveal much. Do you agree?

What have your experiences been in this area?

Do You know Truth When You Hear It?

 ???????????????????????????????Leviathan is a three-headed devil deriving from the ocean and rules over twisting the meanings of words, so that nothing can be clearly understood in order to create fog and confusion in the world.

 Do you know truth when you hear it? With all the spin going on in our world today, it is making it more and more difficult to discern the truth. Twisting and spinning in the media, changing meaning, slanting outcomes, not reporting what actually occurs, but instead reporting what furthers ‘their’ agenda, seems to be the action of most in today’s world. It hits us from all sides, the TV, computer, radio and the Internet. Daily, we are bombarded with the fog of continual spin.

Obama and his administration are even trying to tell us how to speak, ‘changing’ the meaning of words, as in, what means what… as he tries to ‘change’ how we refer to, for example: ‘terrorists’.  Who are the ‘terrorists’? Obama and his administration are trying to rename patriots as ‘terrorists’ … Anyone that doesn’t buy, or is against the Obama spin is deemed a ‘terrorist’, instead of the ‘real terrorists’ being deemed as such. Obama and his administration are proving by actions and words to be the real terrorists.


We are being told not to refer to things as they really are and to not hear and see what we really see hear, or feel. We’re to believe what ‘they’ tell us to believe, instead of, what we know to be true. Just forget what’s true and believe ‘them’ instead. But they can tell you anything, and until you believe it, it’s not true.

Obama used the word ‘hope’ when he campaigned to get where he is. Hope?! Obama is taking away hope and in its place he is putting control over every aspect of your life.
It’s like a playboy trying to seduce his prey. He will compliment and tell her any and everything to get her, even “I love you.”
But once seduced by his spin, she is screwed, and he is on his way. That’s what is being done to America. We are being seduced and spinned. So, we can be screwed.Bill Clinton


Speaking of playboys…Clinton for example: Remember the Monica Lewinsky scandal? And Clinton pointing his finger at us through the TV screen as he said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” When obviously, he did. And most all of us knew that he did and knew that he was lying. But lied, he did, and he lied as easily as he opened his mouth. Then impeachment hearings were started and that’s when Clinton stated. “It depends on what the word ‘is’ means?” A Leviathan master at work.

Now, Clinton is caught up in another scandal. That he told a man to step out of a political race to let another win in order to suit ‘their’ agenda. Clinton, of course, ‘denies’ doing this. And others deny it to protect themselves from the light of the truth. Liars always deny. How can anyone ever believe Clinton? He has  proven to be a blatant liar. Yet, he is still supporting candidates and blabbing spin in the media. It’s Leviathan at its finest.

 Look at Obama and Pelosi… they contradict themselves even in the same speech. Truth seems not to matter to these people and they must think that the masses can’t see through their lies, Leviathan spin, and self-serving agenda.


Anyone with a brain knows that we can’t give better healthcare to everyone at a lesser cost. It’s impossible. It’s a lie. It’s Leviathan. It’s twisted logic. It’s twisting words to lead astray. This bill is to enslave the people to the government and it is of pure evil.

Oh, it’s a lovely idea and hooks fools into ‘believing’  that’s it possible, but it can’t be done and it won’t be done. It’s only a ruse to take more of your rights and freedoms away and to give more control to the government.

Anyone with a brain knows that you don’t pass bills and sign them without reading them. Anyone with a brain knows that you don’t continue going into more and more debt to balance the budget. Anyone with a brain knows that what works is a smaller government that serves the people not the other way around.

 Leviathan seems to be getting stronger and stronger. This word spin devil causes confusion, twisting, spinning words and meanings, so that little truth is heard, and confusion abounds. The more confusion, the easier it is for people to be led to distraction then destruction. Many politicians and much of the media are in collusion with the devil Leviathan. 

Especially this current administration is counting on the inability of the people to discern truth as their Leviathanian tactics get stronger and stronger. ‘They’ think that if they say it often enough, spin it enough that the people will believe it. 
This exact statement has come out of Leviathan-controlled Obama’s mouth.

Obama denies that he knew what was being preached at Rev. Wright’s church and those caught in the Leviathan spin spell, believe him.


There are liars everywhere these days. Truth is the rarity. And when the truth is spoken, or revealed the Leviathan spinners come out to try and make the truth appear the lie. It’s spin, twist, deny and confuse.


We must get back to the truth of the constitution. Our founding fathers created checks and balances to curtail a take-over by liars. The founding principles are sound and have made America and its people the finest and greatest in the world.

One of the most important issues is that we be governed by natural born citizens. There sure is alot of smoke about this issue, even more than around the Clinton-Lewinsky cover-up. Where there is smoke, there is fire. So, ummm… is Leviathan spinning or what?

We are being led astray by many in the international field that want to weaken America for ‘their’ benefit and Obama’s backers are leading the way to the biggest push ever to this goal.

 America is founded on Judeo-Christian principles and there is a reason for this and this is the reason that America is what it is. THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE BRAVE!


The Seven Deadly Sins are running rampant in our country and it is time to reveal them to the light of  TRUTH!  Instead of the Leviathan spin, that it’s okay to live this way.We’ve been led astray by the  evil Leviathan spin to believe that morals, standards, truth and honor don’t matter, when they are all that really does matter.


How do you discern the truth from all the lies? I say listen through the words, watch the actions and agenda, and how it feels to you deep down in your spirit.  If your spirit is true and you are true to your spirit, you will be able to discern theTRUTH!

And when someone shows you what a Leviathan they are BELIEVE THEM as in CLINTON!

Come back to your innate God given instinct of discernment.  We must hear through the evil of the Leviathan twist and spin to bring our country back to the truth.

‘They’ are afraid that we will see the truth. That is why they twist, churn and spin.

Wake up people! Hear through the spin and lies!  Hear the TRUTH!

Doing things that you really don’t want to do…

Beige bench 4And that make you feel bad even when, or after doing them… ever done it?

Have you ever continued to do something that you don’t want to do? And there is really no real reason that you are doing it, except that it is your choice? And it makes you feel bad, but you do it anyway.

Like hanging out with certain friends and after you do, you feel bad about yourself. Because they are not all that nice. They talk and behave in ways that have under currents of jealousy and dislike for who you are, what you believe and stand for, or they over indulge in alcohol, etc., but you try to overlook this and be tolerant, but it harms you by doing so. So, why do you do it?

Like eating too much and later your stomach hurts. You realize that you are gaining weight and don’t like the feeling, but you do it anyway again the next day.

Like continuing to date someone that you really don’t have fun with. They drag you down with their negativity and lack of fun. You are even glad when the date is over. But the next time, they call, you go out again with them and feel all the worse for doing so…

Like calling someone to talk just to be nice and out of duty and while on the phone you start to feel irritated and upset because you realize that you do not want to talk to this person ever.

Sure, we all have things in our life that we must do that we don’t like, or want to do and certain things that you force yourself to do, like working out and after you do, you feel better for doing so.

But when we don’t have to do things, or be around certain people and don’t feel better afterwards, in fact, feel worse, even terrible, why sometimes do we continue to do them?

Why do we continue to do things and be around people that are unpleasant and only give us bad results? Any ideas?

Conservative Class… Liberal Crass…

59bday6From my experiences, I ask why are Liberal/Progressive women so full of bitterness, hate, jealousy, and animosity..?

They may ‘use’ the word ‘love’ alot, but it doesn’t seem that they even know what the word means. They call others names such as hater, racist, and sexist when they are usually the ones doing the hating. I have been called, fat, old, a skinny, white bitch, among other names, etc. by Liberal/Progressive women…

Liberal/Progressive women seem to not be able to stand a Conservative, attractive, physically, emotionally fit and morally sound woman. Why are Liberal/Progressive women so threatened by Conservative women?…

They go on the immediate attack as they do with Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, etc… It’s even deemed okay for them to attack Palin’s children, but if one word is said against Obama’s children, they go wild. Not that I think we should be bad mouthing, or attacking anyone’s children, or children in general… but there is such a double standard….

Why do you think Liberal/Progressive women are so unhappy, bitter and out to ‘get’ Conservative women? It’s as if they can’t stand these women, especially in the media…

Compare the look on Hillary Clinton’s face to say Michelle Bachman’s… compare the look on the news ladies on Fox compared to say Katie Couric… compare the Liberal/Progressive women in Obama’s cabinet to Conservative women…need I say more…?!?

Why are Liberal women so threatened by Conservative class… I mean women?

Let’s talk about exceptional women…

Glorious Women! That we can all look up to as an example of how to live, express and manage our lives…

Elizabeth Edwards… what a class act under such drama, illness, betrayal and trauma…

I think of Maria Shriver, she has handled recent scandal with such grace…

Sandra Bullock… good actress, nice person and she handled humilation and scandal just after winning an Oscar, like a champion first-class woman…

Meryl Streep.. an incredible actress with wisdom, class and grace..

Michelle Bachmann … accomplished in many areas, business, family and political. She is wise, and determined…

Helen Mirren… a fabulous actress, refined, elegant and charming….

Betty Ford… first lady, woman’s advocate, helped many deal with addictions and her honesty was legend…wife and mother…

Rest in peace lovely, strong, exceptional woman…

Let’s explode about great, classy, resilient, talented, exceptional women…

Who else comes to mind and why?…

Women! Have you ever sold out?…

I was having lunch awhile back with a girlfriend and after we ate we joined two of her ‘friends’ (acquaintances) at another table for dessert. One lady was so obsessed about her weight that she would not eat the gram cracker crust on the key lime pie that we all shared, which balanced out to two bites a piece. And this woman was as thin as thin could be… too thin… But she sure guzzled the wine…not worried about the empty calories there…Okay! …

So … the topic is selling out… The other woman who had a dry wit started talking about sex, that she only ever has it, so her husband will continue paying her bills. She went on about how the more she has sex with her husband, the more she can spend, and he won’t complain. The overly thin woman concurred as they shared ‘their sex for goods’ trials and exploits with bitterness and an underlying sadness in their voices…
As I chuckled with the group, internally, I felt sick and sorry for these women. Were they ‘joking’, blowing off steam, or what? Umm… but usually, what you joke about is what is true, what you are hiding, or what is bothering you…

My friend and I locked eyes and knowingly smiled at one another … we didn’t fit with these women .. but for some reason, my friend endured it… I was ready to exit…

To break it up, I excused myself to the ladies’ room. When I stood up, the overly thin woman, looked me up and down… as I chuckled internally… ummm…trying to intimidate me, jealous much, or what? It was too immature and stupid for words…

I felt so out of their loop… I can’t imagine feeling, or joking like these women were doing… the more that they carried on about it, as they laughed about their husbands and their deeds of doing … “Oh baby, baby! Baby you’re so good! Oh Baby!” … well, I won’t get too graphic…

If I ever felt like that, where  I needed to fake it, in that manner, I got out of the relationship fast…Lies built on lies, built on lies, just produces more lies. I felt so sorry for these particular ladies who lunch, with their overly thin bodies, wine glasses in hand, designer dudes and purses.

Driving away, I felt so glad to be me… I have never settled, or used a man, or anyone for that matter for money, or goods. I have never sold myself on any level. I respect myself and others too much to do so. And I eat the crust on my desserts… in fact… YUM!

I am free to be me. I have gone hungry in my life. I have been broke. I have been scared to death being alone. I have gotten out of, and ended marriages, and relationships that were unhealthy for my soul, that were untrue on some level, and that tried to diminish my spirit. But in being always so true to myself,  I have been hurt to my core, and taken down to my knees, but I got up again and always felt proud of me. And very glad to be out and away from the insidious situation.

How many women are selling out on some level? Maybe, not for goodies, but to keep the peace, for a place to live, because they are afraid, or too insecure to be alone, or they need the title of being married to give them an identity, etc.?
How many unhappily married women are there? And how many are envious of women with freedom … freedom in their spirit. Those who don’t need something ‘designer’ to define them, or some man to pay them, or give them their identity, or the over need to police every bite of food to be, and feel a certain weight, in order, to feel worthy, or the need to gossip, in order, to make themselves feel better than, or the need to look someone up and down like they were in a high school corridor, so unsure of themselves that they create cliques, rumors and bully.

Do you think that many women compromise themselves in some manner or form? Starving themselves to look what ‘they think’ makes them look good when they look gauntly awful. And having sex so that they can carry some over-priced designer purse? Just two examples…do you have more?…

Do you, can you see, or tell, if you are you selling out, or compromising yourself on some level?


to avert and change the subject in conversation is rampant in communication today…

Deflect – turn from a straight course, fixed direction, or line of interest. Cause (something) to change direction by interposing something; turn aside from a straight course.

Therefore, many can’t even have a ‘straight on’ conversation today. If anything gets too close to home, or questions, or gets too real, honest and intense, what occurs with many is deflecting, either by changing the subject, humor, sarcasm, or name calling.

Serious questions and things true and on target are being deflected everywhere. Some think that if you side step and side step some more, then ‘maybe’, ‘hopefully’ no one will notice…and they might even forget.

Obama is the king of deflecting as are his administration, his followers, his media and most all of those who voted for him. Liberals and progressives have made deflecting an ‘art form’… deflecting is the art of cons, the weak, the manipulative, agenda-filled, and the guilty… and it is unfortunately, because of public example, considered ‘okay’ to do and has become the ‘norm’.
I can’t stand it! It’s almost as if a real conversation or communication with facts and truth are lost in today’s world…

Circle, spin, deflect, repeat then start the wash cycle all over again…

Give me a person that’s straight to the point, answers questions honestly and directly, and uses few words to make their point.Not long ago, this was what was admired and strived for and we must bring this back into vogue, or we become a society of word spinners and deflectors that say nothing that means anything.
Agree or not… or will you deflect even this topic and question?

Jealousy, competition, and betrayal amongst women…

Why is this so prevalent? Why isn’t there honor and respect, instead of jealousy, competition and betrayal, among many women?

It doesn’t matter what the age, or the circumstances, many women are jealous, competitive, and betray other women….

Look at what happened to Maria Shriver. A maid working in her home had a lengthy affair and a child with her husband and reports tell us that this woman wanted to be Maria and would try on her clothes and jewelry. Why didn’t, or couldn’t this maid like herself and her life enough to stay out of, and respect the boundaries of someone else’s?

In my life, there were two secretaries that worked for my father’s company that had affairs with my husband at the time. Sure, we know the men who do this are thinking with their ego and penisbut what about the women? One of the secretaries told others that she was going to take my husband because she wanted my life.That, of course, didn’t occur. He got rid of her. I got rid of him.

What kind of a woman does this kind of a thing? They must be full of self- hate, jealousy, envy, betrayal and a ridiculous kind of competition. If more women refused to compromise themselves, their values, and self-worth, men wouldn’t be having as many affairs. There would be fewer women to have them with.

I have sisters. If I share about my life, some  of them will say that all I do is talk about myself. If I don’t talk much about myself, and only inquire about them, some of them will state that I am being nosey, not being friendly, and not sharing about my life. There is no way to win. They will be jealous and create competition where none need be… why is this?

At one time, I had a stepdaughter, 8 years-old. She and I were very close and got along well, but still she would show jealousy of my relationship with her father. It was ridiculous! She would flirt with him in front of me, taunting him to choose whom to give his attention and it was so silly to observe, but also irritable, hurtful and damaging. She would hug his neck and stick her tongue out at me at the same time.  Where does this come from…this competition among women?

One of my best friend’s husbands come onto me and I shut him down fast. Even if I had been attracted to him, I never would have gotten involved because it is against my nature to do this kind of a thing. I have never had an affair. I would consider it betraying not only the woman, but myself.
I honor myself and who I am too much to betray my soul.

Is all this jealousy, competition and betrayal because many women have no respect for themselves, so they sure don’t respect others? So, they will steal, lie, betray, and harm other women to ‘make’ themselves feel ‘important’ or ‘valued’ even if it’s only for a short while, when in actuality they are devaluing their self-worth. Does it all boil down to self-worth and if so, why do so many women have so little?

Men don’t have respect for the women who do this. How could they? You can’t respect someone that compromises their self and without any glimmer of honorable values. The men are just using them for their ego and penis needs. Sure, the men ‘may’ have ‘some’ affection for them, but usually the men turn against, or away from these women as soon as they are found out. Do you think if Maria divorces Arnold that he will marry his ‘ex-maid, mistress’? Laughable, isn’t it? 

Look at all of Tiger Wood’s mistresses… is he with any of them?

So, let’s discuss… why so much competition, jealousy and betrayal amongst women?

I can relate with Maria Shriver….

 I don’t agree with her politics, but as a woman, I understand the pain that she is going through.

My first husband, whom I met in college, appeared a ‘nice’ and, at that time, a fairly attractive man… (kind of a young Newt Gingrich, big cheesy grin and big head) cheated on me with his plump, ordinary appearing secretary, while he was working for my father’s company.  Everyone knew, but me. I was teaching ballet and doing the ‘wifey’ thing. ‘I’ was a member of a country club and my husband used the membership to play golf. I watched our budget, while he gambled away money on football games…and ‘played’ at being a big shot.

I thought about divorce. I was not happy, but I kept trying to be the ‘good wife.’ I had many opportunities to cheat, but never did, or would. Cheating on someone you love, to me, is the lowest of low. I always wanted to be married and to have a family, but after observing my husband’s drinking, gambling and general behavior, I knew that I didn’t want to have children with him.

It reached critical mass one Saturday. I was sick and he was playing golf at the country club. He came home and I asked him to get me some 7Up and chicken soup from a restaurant that I liked.

While he was gone, the phone rang and a woman asked me, if I recalled who she is, and I didn’t, until she reminded me that she used to be my husband’s secretary.

“Your husband has a son and I am the mother.”

I laughed as I responded, “What?!”, thinking this plain Jane, plump girl … my husband wouldn’t have anything to do with you…

“It’s true.”, she said, “Ask him when he gets home.”

Of course, he denied it.

He told me that she was trying to extort money from him because of my family. He blamed everyone, but himself. But he never blamed me. He told his parents, “If Ann doesn’t get into heaven no one will.”

I tried to believe what he told me. I was in shock for months.

He paid off the secretary to drop her child support charges, and he signed away all rights to the child, to try and get me, to believe that it wasn’t his child, but it was.

Maria ShriverDuring this ordeal, I lost tons of weight.. so stop saying that Maria looks like a scarecrow.. she can barely eat. She is grieving her dream because it has been shattered.

And this secretary was just the tip of the iceberg… as it played out, my husband had affairs, even while we were engaged, with everyone, and I mean everyone. And I never knew it, or even thought this could happen, even as bad as I was realizing he was, I never could’ve imagined how bad!

So, why did he cheat on me while professing to love me? The day I kicked him out of the house with his golf clubs, he was still professing his love for me, as he shouted it out from the front walkway, “I always loved you!”

Was it because I was ugly, not good in bed, my body wasn’t good enough, not a good wife, not a good enough housekeeper? What was it that was so bad about me that this poor guy had to stick his needy penis into everything with a skirt? 

While. the best thing, I can say about his love making is that he was inept and clumsy….And this is one of the reasons that it was difficult for me to believe that he had affairs. He had grown to have a fat belly and was not attractive physically.. while I was a physically fit ballet dancer…

So, why did he cheat, and if he wanted out, why didn’t he ask for a divorce?

The reasons, it was his nature. He is a gambler, a cheater and probably a sociopath. He was using me for his ambitions.  While my intentions in the marriage were honorable, his weren’t. My intellect was more than his, my morals and everything else. He was from the ‘wrong side of the tracks’, as they say, and he should’ve stayed there.
He liked being with women that he ‘felt’ better than.

I should’ve never married this man and I had second thoughts even the night of the rehearsal dinner. I should’ve listened to my instincts and cancelled it all.
I diminished myself in order to make him feel good about himself because that is what a ‘good wife’ does, right?

I found out that he told someone before he married me that he was going to marry a girl from a wealthy family. I made him look good. I helped bolster up his low self-esteem, while all he did was tear mine down…

He forced the divorce to court out of his greed and arrogance, but I was awarded the divorce on exteme mental cruelty in a no-fault divorce state. I was awarded all that was left of our property which meant I was left pretty much broke.

Men like my ex-husband are without a moral compass. They only care about their ego needs and satisfaction in the moment.

Also, a week after I kicked him out. I went to the mailbox and there was a card addressed to him. It was from a ‘flight attendant’ he was having an affair with… so even as he was telling me that he wanted to stay married and was telling me how much he loved me, he was having yet another affair…

So, was all this my fault? Is what happend in Maria’s situation her fault? She is attractive, accomplished, talented and from a prominent family.

No! It’s not our fault! It’s the cheater’s actions, lies and corrupt morals that create these situations.

These ego-driven, self-serving child-men are plain losers.  No matter what their accomplishments, if they destroy and hurt their loved ones because of their ego needs, they are plain selfish. There is no excuse. They are liars, sinners and their wives have no fault to bear.

And yes, I understand that there are women who cheat, but I am not one of them.

Cheaters disgust me…What say you?

He blew out my candle…

A man took me to dinner on my birthday. After, we enjoyed our entrees, a birthday cake was placed before me. He told me to blow out my candle and when I didn’t do it immediately…he blew and we ended up ‘kind of’ blowing together, and he blew out my candle.

Stunned, I sadly exclaimed. “You blew out my birthday candle!”

His reply. “I’ll pass my wish over to you.”

I thought. ‘Thanks alot buddy but I’d rather have my own wish.’

I have never in all my years had anyone ever blow out my birthday candle. I would’ve thought that he would have had the waiter relight the candle, so that I could blow it out on my own. But no! Then another thought, why did he even blow on the candle? It’s my birthday after all… Plus, he didn’t give me the time to make my own wish…

I blew if off and enjoyed my cake…but…

What are your thoughts… have you ever had anyone blow out your birthday candle? That is past the age of say two years old…

I have never blown out a friend’s, beau’s, or family member’s birthday candle ever! It’s a given that this is for the birthday person to do…

It seems like a little thing, but sometimes small actions have big implications…and are indications of other things.

If someone blew out your candle, how would that make you feel? And, or what would you say, or do? And what do you think are the implications of his action?

And look to the left and click to follow…

Sidebar… he was 20 minutes late picking me up… he did call to push the time back but he was still 20 minutes later. As I was walking down my stairs, I saw his car in the front of my house and he was sitting in it on the phone. I sat in the living room and waited and waited…
I peeked out the front door and saw him yakking… I waited…then in the excitement of my birthday, I walked outside and waved to him. He smiled and waved but kept on yakking…
I went back inside and waited… thinking, if it weren’t my birthday, I would cancel the evening…
Then he entered and said. “I apologize. I hate being late, but I will tell you about it.”

When he told me … it was nothing that couldn’t have waited….so this is a bit more insight to the kind of person I was dealing with…

Okay go…what’s your take?