Category Archives: Love

Do you have the ability to love truly and deeply?…

???????????????????????????????Can you love? I am talking romantic love here, the love between a man and woman.There are different kinds and levels of love.. friendship, parental-child, love of God… 

But do you know what real love is… the love that can only be experienced between a man and a woman in a romantic bond and enduring love because of the nature of their beings and their respective bodies?
A man gives and a woman receives

Love is deep affection and caring for another. Love is to care and nurture for the well-being of another. Love is kindness, consideration, respect, trust, compassion, forgiveness, sharing, understanding, tolerance, commitment, awareness of needs and desires.

Love is not sex. Sex is not love. Sex can be and was meant to be an expression of love in the physical body… to bring pleasure and release and in that closeness and release it’s possible that another human being be created. A child created out of love is a blessing from God.

Sex ‘can’ be an expression of love, but sex in itself, is not love
.

If you think sex is love, you are lost. Mistaking sex for love can lead to much unhappiness, frustration, loss, pain and despair.

Love endures… being able to dislike the person you love, be irritated by them, argue with them, see them through their ups and downs, help them and, at times, put their needs before yours, is what love is about… but only if this is done in return… as love is a circle.

Love makes you vulnerable and many are too weak to allow themselves to be vulnerable.

When you are emotionally intimate, you share your wounds, your pain, your vulnerabilities and if that love is shared with an equal, one who has the ability to truly love, they will protect you in this regard. But an insecure, weak, immature, manipulative predator will use your vulnerability against you to their advantage and gain.. and this is not love, and should be seen for what it is and gotten away from as quickly as possible.

It’s my opinion, that until a man has a child, he may not even have a real knowing of what love is. Because until then, many men mistake sex for love, and behave accordingly and when the rush of the sex excitement diminishes, or wears off, they think that ‘love’ is gone… when it was never there in the first place.

Then the children born from a love, or children in the home, should not be put before the love between the man and woman. Children learn how to love by observing their parent’s love relationship. The bond is clearly between the two adults with the children being just outside that circle to observe and learn with the reflection of the love bestowed and showered onto the children. This observance is what makes a child feel really loved,secure within and with the knowledge of how to express love, give love and live with another. The parental example and modeling imprints a child for their whole life.

Love really begins to grow when sex takes its proper place and perspective in the relationship…

Love is commitment, honor, respect, trust, enduring, pain, happiness, joy, friendship,

perseverance, growth, communication…And it is not for the immature or insecure because they can’t handle it, nor do they deserve it. Immaturity and insecurity wreck havoc in the love relationship. Love and relationship are for the mature and secure… those with the capacity to become aware, grow, learn, accept and reflect.Love endures. Love is making a life together where both are satisfied and honored with the room to express themselves, together and individually.

A man protects. A woman nurtures.. A man creates a safe place for a woman and she blossoms. Together with their strengths and weaknesses, they thrive in joint effort and creation.

Jesus treated His mother and all women with the deepest respect. We honor all women by showing them the same love and respect that Jesus showed to women.

Women have been abused and put down by men–sometimes very crudely and cruelly. But Jesus is the perfect man, the man God wants every man to emulate. This is the kind of man God wants every woman to know in her life.

The highest reach of what love is on earth ….the merging of the male/female… 

Do you agree or believe differently?
Do you have the ability to love truly and deeply? I know I do.

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Grace, kindness, forgiveness, compassion…

Blackwhite19A smile, a kind word, a warm touch, appreciation, a thank you, a hug…

What can you do today to lift a spirit?

“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.” – Albert Schweitzer

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I want you to always know that you are loved…

Last Valentine’s Day, my Dad sent me roses along with a card with his expression of how much he loved me and treasured me as his daughter.

When I called to thank him, he said…”I want you to always know and remember how deeply you are loved.” 

My Dad died two months later.

The night before he died, we were talking on the phone and in his usual strong and clear voice he said… “I love you very much. See you tomorrow. I am going to sleep now.”

Dad wouldn’t let me see him weak, feeling poorly, or down and out. No matter how bad he was feeling, he would rally when talking to me. He wanted me to see him as always strong and as my protector and hero. When I knew he wasn’t feeling well and would try and comfort him. He would say, “Don’t worry. I am fine.” He never wanted me to worry. He wanted me to be happy.

Daddy died the next day, while I was on my way to see him.

His last words to me are imprinted on my heart, along with his private thoughts and sentiments that he shared with me his last few months on earth…

Daddy, you will always be strong, my protector and my hero. I love you Daddy. Happy Valentines!

Always let your loved ones know how much you love them…

Happy Valentines and much love to all my followers…

Do all people have the ability to love?

???????????????????????????????And if someone can’t love, doesn’t know how, isn’t able, or capable… can you, should you try to love them? Love isn’t a mood, a pretty face, blond hair, a sports car, a bank account, or a rockin bod, etc… 

When you describe love as a ‘mood’, or anything else other than a deep sincere emotion then you are describing a superficial love. Love is a deep emotion… and some can’t feel real emotions at all, and some ‘fake’ their feelings for their gain.

Some profess love way too fast…
before there is actually any possibility that it could be felt…and many who do this, fall in and out of ‘love’ as if it were ‘luving’ the current fad. They fall in ‘luv’ with the way a woman looks, or her body and a woman falls in ‘luv’ with a man’s ‘appearance’ of ‘power.’ It’s insincere and only their mood, or attraction at the time. This kind of person can be dangerous to those with the real ability to love…they try to and can actually suck love out of a sincere loving person… and nothing about fast ‘luv’ is love. It’s actually predator-like and derives from lack, agenda and possibly even evil intent…
 

Too many people suppress or escape emotions… being emotionally real and honest is rare these days… but we are sentient beings and to deny who we are is to deny self and what we are put on earth for, which is too feel, express emotions and to experience. And some in the world can’t handle others’ emotions because they can’t handle their own. They are the walking dead… no sincere passion, no reality, can’t love, can’t sincerely express , or see truth because they are so false unto themselves and who they really are… so when the first blush of attraction is gone… so is their ‘luv’…

Of course, as a caring, loving human being some of us can love the unlovable, but it is wise to do so from a distance. In a romantic relationship, trying to love someone who can’t love you in return leads to nothing, but pain and despair.

Those people who have the ability to fake emotions and to not really feel them who knows why exactly?  Was it something that happened to them in childhood, or somewhere in their life, or were they born that way?

A man once told me that when he was younger that he would tell girls that he loved them. ” I love you.”, very powerful words. So needy girls would feel ‘loved’ for a bit and give him what he wanted…’sex with no attachment’ on his part. He chuckled while telling me this. He was a man who while handsome and charming had no ability to love. He didn’t feel loved, so he knew the intense power of the desire to feel so, and he used this power over others to control them. He was damaged and he damaged others by telling them what they needed and wanted to hear to get what he wanted. He had no love for anyone including himself. He was afraid of love and actually afraid of women, so he kept them at arm’s length and manipulated and used them.

Some talk of ‘forever’ when it is premature and superficial. The words, ‘forever’, ‘love’, and ‘soulmate’ … can be meaningful only when used in sincerity and too many these days use them flippantly and to manipulate for their own feelings of power and control.

If Tom Hanks or Cruise can say it in some ‘stupid’ (while entertaining) romantic comedy… any guy with half a brain can do the same. The “You complete me.” line that Cruise ‘acted’… how many times has that been used? This line was ‘scripted’ for affect, it didn’t come from the heart in a moment of depth and passion in real life.

I have been told by many men that I am the kind of woman that they want to have on their arm. Now, what does that mean ‘exactly’? It means that it makes them feel good to have what they ‘consider’ a ‘catch’ on their arm. It has nothing to do with me, or my well-being, or caring about ‘me’. It’s about them and what ‘they feel like’, or ‘want and need’ to feel like for their weak egos. Men like this are dangerous for women who can love… as they use and exploit for their needs. Men like this are selfish, self-serving and ego driven…

A man once told me that men go for the best, most attractive girl that they ‘think’ they can attain.. or they ‘think’ they ‘may’ have a chance with, a chance of ‘scoring’ with on some level… But most men quickly back off when thwarted in their attempt while after a woman… again it’s that fragile male ego.  But real, sincere, enduring love can’t be thwarted. You hear the stories of the man who wouldn’t give up until the woman said yes. I am not talking anything creepy here, like stalking. I am talking strong pursuit, when a man really has the ability to love … Think of the character depicted in the movie THE NOTEBOOK.. that movie depicted an example of a man who could love, felt it deeply and acted on it.

Strong, worthy men will go after what they desire…and those with love in their heart… will stay on that path and not be sidetracked by some ‘honey’ of a distraction to feed their ego.

Some women use flattery and sexy ways to lure a man in, when all they want to do is to use him. Both sexes do this to one another… the ones who can’t love and who can only ‘fake it’…as in ‘prostituted’… they usually can’t love and don’t like sex… so they ‘fake’ it… there are more ‘prostitute’ types around than many realize in both sexes. They are the damaged ones and they are out to damage others…

Do you think many people have the ability to really love another? Most all of us desire and want love. So, why is it that it seems and appears that so many have no idea what it is?

Children learn what love is from their parents. I believe this to be gospel and it derives from the parents love and commitment to each another This is a child’s first example. When some people only have children for themselves and their selfish needs, how can a child feel loved, or even learn what love is? They can’t. And this is manifested out into our world with every action and choice. Look at what is being manifested into our world today… overly overt sexuality that has nothing to do with love, people having children with no commitment to them, or to one another.

Ladies! No man will love you, or treat you better than you love or treat yourself.
And sex is not love… in its finest, it is one ‘expression of love in the physical form’ and it can produce life…the greatest gift of love that there is. So, when you diminish sex … love becomes diminished in you…

To be able to love is a great blessing… to be able to feel love, to give love and to be loved in return is the greatest gift one can possess. The ability to love comes from within and is built on respect, commitment and trust of self then to others and this comes from parenting the child along with their internal ‘God-given’ makeup. And if you weren’t parented well, you can learn to re-parent yourself. Treat yourself as the precious person you are… and act accordingly…

You can’t have love without commitment… and those who really love not only know this, but desire it…

“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” – Tim Keller

Remember it’s in his love that Christ gave his life for you… and he turned away from those he could not touch…

Do you know what love is and feels like? Can you love? Do you love? Are you loved? Have you ever felt love, deeply, sincerely and truly? Do all people have the ability to love, or do only a few have that capacity?

Kissing….Eyes wide shut….

???????????????????????????????Styles of kissing… the way a person kisses reveals much.

Sure, there can be instant chemistry that is magic and unmistakably passionate and sensuous  that sends tingle through your whole body with the inability to stop. Then there can be that awkward, your nose goes where, then my goes…

There are those who keep their eyes open when they kiss… and those who close them. Some are sloppy and messy. Some are precise and neat… and sometimes mixing the two doesn’t work well.. although there are different ways to kiss at different times and in different places… if you know what I mean?!

I read that those who mostly kiss with their eyes closed are more passionate and into their feelings and those who mostly kiss with their eyes open are more into controlling the person they are kissing…

Eyes closed you are inward and  ‘in touch’ with your feelings… eyes open you are directed away from self…

Years, ago, I dated a man who kissed with his eyes open. We would be passionately kissing and I would open my eyes for a sec and there he always would be with eyes staring at me.. it creeped me out.. Sure men are more visual, but…something about his beady eyes staring at me… YUCK!

I asked him why he didn’t close his eyes more often when we were kissing.. his answer. ” I like to watch you.” So, he was more into watching me then what he was feeling… Of course, it ended… as soon, I realized he was not anyone I wanted in my life much less to kiss. Because, it was creepy to glance up and have eyes staring at me in the way that his did.

Sure, eyes open, at times, during kissing, but to have eyes staring.. is strange in my opinion.

Teeth… they must be clean white and straight. I am a teeth freak…mine are clean and well-kept and I expect the same in my kissing partner….

That first kiss can tell you sooo much… It can reveal what kind of a person they are… are they passionate, are they loving, and what kind of a lover they will be…

Kissing is a ‘very intimate’ activity… Hookers, I have heard will not kiss on the mouth.. so that about says it. They will do all sorts of other things with their private parts, but will not kiss on the lips…

What’s your opinion on kissing styles, eyes open or shut, overly wet, or teeth are important or…just??? Pucker up and SMACK!!!!

The man is the frame and the woman…

the work of art that fills up the frame…Or the woman is the picture that the frame surrounds and displays…

A frame standing alone is empty and rather uninteresting, isn’t it? But add a piece of art and it shines and is defined….as both are enhanced and displayed…

Of course, it’s nice, if the frame and art complement one another, or actually they may contrast. It all depends on the taste level and desire…  as they define one another in one aspeView of Mount Marseilleveyre and the Isle of Maire, c.1882-85 Giclee Printct or another. The right frame can make a work of art stand out and the right piece of art surrounded by the complementing frame allows the frame be noticed and succeed in what it’s been created for and to become more than it is as it supports, protects, and displays the work of art…when otherwise, it wouldn’t or couldn’t….it would just hang, or sit there empty and not fulfilled, possibly barely noticed….

A picture can stand alone without a frame… but to anchor it to the room, or the environment, it is better protected and displayed surrounded by a complementary frame. The ‘right’ frame can even propel it forward to become all that it is and could ever be….

Alone they are fine, but together they have the opportunity and potential to shine, enhance a space, even to glorify one another….

A frame can be put around a mirror, a work of art, a piece of junk, or a prized possession A modern frame can be around a Renaissance piece and an antique frame can surround a contemporary, or abstract work of art. It all depends on the environment and the desire behind what is to be accomplished in the goal of their mating and partnerships. … it’s a marriage of art and its display.

Now to frame a mirror is quite interesting in that it reflects all that passes before it…

If a frame is cracked, damaged, or becomes weak in its joints and even falls to the ground, the art may be damaged….

But the art can be damaged and if the frame is sturdy, the piece can remain in tact… until, the frame is changed to another more worthy work of art.

A frame can almost be like an accompanying work of art itself, but if it over powers the artwork its purpose will be flawed. Where as a work of art has less of a chance of becoming a frame because that is not its purpose and it might tear it apart, take away from, even destroy its beauty to try to be something that it is not…

Frames are a dime a dozen… a work of art rare… 

When a frame finds its work of art… it is best served to hold it strongly, wisely and with honor… and when a work of art finds its complementing frame … WOW! as there is nothing better than a perfectly frame work of art. It’s magic!  

A man is the frame and the woman is what fills and fulfills the frame. A frame needs its work of art to become and a work of art needs the support of a frame to shine…and just like with a man and a woman, the art is what is more readily observed and admired not the frame…

Ever realized or noticed that people always look to the woman first in a couple and then the man. They first view the woman then look to the man to see if he is worthy of her. Does she have the right frame?…

Think about it…
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(And yes, I understand men that a man can be observed and it can be wondered what is he doing with that woman…)

When a selfish lover says, I love you….

 ???????????????????????????????what they are saying is, I love the way that you make me feel, or worse, they are saying, “I love you”, to try and ‘get’ something from you. Selfish love recognizes certain needs must be met in order to maintain its happiness. Real love is free of these restraints and demands.

Love is not ‘perfect’. Demands bring obstacles to love. Unnecessary expectations about love make it rigid and inflexible. We all change from birth to death, and if we are not willing to accept these changes and grow with them as both an individual and in love relationships, then we are neither ready, or worthy of love’s full attention.

Love and relationship offer the most intense and rewarding place to grow and to learn about yourself in relation to another…some are afraid of this intensity and growth and have fear of learning about self…

Love is about giving…not about what you can get…

Love just is…when you ‘really’ feel it, you just know…

But some are not capable of love….only its imitation….so they correlate love with what they can get in its name…

Are you capable of love, or are you looking for what you can ‘get’ in its name?

Have you every felt really loved and if so what does it feel like? Have you ever really loved and what does it feel like?…

Think about it…

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Can you love someone you don’t respect?…

???????????????????????????????If you don’t have respect for someone, can you really love them? I am talking romantic, enduring, and true love…(I understand a parent can and will love a child even if their child commits murder, as parent/child love is unconditional, as is God’s love.)

But other than this, I believe without respect, love turns into something else like pity…or tolerance.

Only what is respect? Some definitions are:  an act of giving particular attention …consideration… holding in high or special regard – esteem… the quality or state of being esteemed… to admire deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements….have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of…a feeling of deep admiration for someone, or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements … due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others … a person’s polite greetings…

But we are all individual and have different traits that we admire and respect in ourselves and in others…

Example: I was dating a man and I ‘thought’ that he was of a certain character level… then he stole something from one of my neighbors (small, but still) and he thought that I would think it funny. And of course, I didn’t. I was appalled and in that moment, I lost all respect for this man as I saw his true character. What he did in this instance, compiled with other things that I had observed in him, and any caring I had for him was gone. I saw clearly his lack of consideration, his arrogance, his ability to harm others, even to commit a crime (no matter how small)… and I didn’t want him around me any longer. I lost all trust and all respect. He showed me that he is a person of weak character. Because what someone will do to others, they will eventually do to you…

Another person might even admire him for what he did, or it might not have bothered them as it did me.

So, what makes you have respect for someone? Is it their character? Their talents? Their expertise in some area? The way that they treat you, themselves and others?…

And do you think that you can love someone without respecting them?…

What are the ways that a man woos a woman…

how does he court her, romance her, connect to her heartand win her love and affection?

A woman and a man need intimacy to connect.. that means looking into each others eyes, talking from and through the heart, not ‘preaching’ about ‘plans’ and all that you ‘think’ that you know. It’s not boasting, showing off. It’s not a car, or things.
 
Sure, we, women, all know that a man likes to strut his stuff, or whatever he has, or it may be. But if he is too into strutting and not into her, she will look at him as a kind of buffoon. And she will never really care about him. Oh, she might care about his car, or his bank account, but if he doesn’t win her heart… it’s all for naught. 

It’s in the heart where we truly connect.. it’s kindness, thoughtfulness, caring, empathy, and sincerity.

It’s taking the time to learn what she likes and cares about.

 
It’s caring and a sincere interest…and if you don’t look her into her eyes, she feels unseen and it all falls apart…  Playboy types know how to seduce and to woo… the regular fellow looking for a real love connection might want to be aware and learn the art of courtship.
 
It’s putting another first… it’s not what he can get, as in sex (as an immature, emotionally stunted playboy or con uses it for)… It’s what he can give…it’s not rushing her to his goal, plan, and agenda. It’s getting to know her and showing her that she is genuinely liked for her positive attributes as well as her quirks. That’s if a man is sincere in wanting a lasting heart connection…
 
It’s what he can give of himself, in time, and genuine communication in sharing experiences, helping her, laughing with her, and sharing with her. 

When he is with her, if the event, the movie, the car that he is driving is more important than she is, then why is she there? She will wonder…And will feel like an object herself…

When a couple connects at the heart and intimacy level… this is when real romance that leads to love, a true connection and what a man ultimately desires great sex… but the need for sex is really more a need to connect to the magnificent feminine energy.

It’s the man that woos the woman. If a man can’t be aware and learn these skills, he will find himself alone, or with an unhappy woman, and without the way to get his innate emotional needs met and satisfied by the allure, charms and abundance of a woman. And the woman will feel alone, cut off from her innate charms, beauty and desires.

It’s a man that woos and a woman responds… but there needs to be something to respond to…

A man gives. A woman receives… it’s plain and simple… it’s biology…

You can tell by observing a couple, how good a man is at fulfilling his lady by the look on her face.

A woman in love glows… and she bestows this glow and the magic and wonder of her femininity on her man… and this is where most men want to be and to be the benefit of…

Men… it is about the woman.. if you make it about her and are sincere, you will have everything and much more than you could ever ask for or dream of…
 
As a woman, what makes you feel cared for by a man? What are some of the wonderful ways that a man has and can do to woo, or court you, in order that you soften enough to open your heart to him?