Category Archives: Health

Defense and Denial – excerpt from my soon available book…

Defensive and Denial

 Defensive and denial are partners in the deepest blocks towards awareness and healing. Becoming defensive or flipping into denial can be a sign that something, someone or some words have triggered an imprint that you are trying to avoid. Defensive and denial are activated because of fear to feel the pain, to feel wrong and to avoid reality and truth. Living in denial is living in a fog.

Some people will do any and everything possible to avoid self-refection. They must believe – ‘think’ that they are ‘right’ and everyone else is wrong. They feel – ‘think’ that they must do this in order to survive. They feel as if they might be destroyed and even die if they don’t. Actually sometimes, you need to die unto yourself, tear down, break down and take apart something in order to rebuild it on a stronger and better foundation. But the fear of death of the ‘current and in place belief system’, no matter how distorted it might be, can create such fear that defense and denial become life lines. Actually defense and denial are angels of death creating blocks and leading to destruction.

If you flip into denial and become defensive along with being angry about a situation or something said or done, it reveals that you have been deeply triggered. You are trying to make them wrong. So you can feel ‘right’ and ‘safe’ in your current beliefs according to your imprints about self, others and your issues.

Break through the knee jerk reaction of denial and defense mechanisms to be able to look hard and long as to why you react in this manner. Incorporate intense self-refection. Look at yourself instead of trying to point the finger outside self or at another. Pointing the finger outside yourself and at another is deflecting and projecting – a sure sign that someone or some situation has hit upon your vulnerabilities. Looking with honesty at coping mechanisms that you use to deflect discomfort is the biggest challenge to awareness and healing. The deepest work is healing our personal wounds – our core wounds. And to do this you must be open to looking at self honestly in deep self-reflection.

Many times becoming defensive and in denial is insecurity hiding behind a big ego. It’s a kind of self-willed blindness. You wouldn’t have been triggered, if it hadn’t touched something that you were trying to avoid or hide. So why do you have such fear of being ‘judged’?

Defense and denial mechanisms can be difficult to break through, because their whole purpose in being kept alive is to defend imprints and the belief system, in order to stay out of pain and to feel ‘safe’. They come into play to avoid looking at self and to avoid change. Therefore they will fight hard and long to stay alive. The defended self can be a hard nut to crack. Some people reacting defensively and in denial do so with such intensity that it’s as if their very life is being threatened and to them, it does feel this way. The fear that their defended belief system might not be accurate throws them into a tailspin and the feeling that they are fighting for their life. So they will accuse the other side to that which they are guilty. They will project.

 PROJECTION – is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities – both positive and negative – by denying their existence in themselves and attributing them to others.

Realize that people will not only project their bad traits onto others, but also their good. When a person projects their good traits onto someone – they for example may see someone has having a kind heart which is theirs. When in reality the person on whom they are projecting has a cold manipulative heart with devious motives. Therefore projecting can be harmful whether it’s done with either negative or positive attributes.

Projection can be an obvious manipulation tactic and is also used to control, along with shaming and blaming others into shutting up allowing for continuance to keep on doing as they wish. Therefore, the clearer you see yourself in awareness and knowledge in relation to others is the best and safest you can be in this regard.

 Concerning defensiveness, awareness will need to be done layer by layer. Because feelings of defensiveness can trigger intense denial, anger and the feeling that you want to reject the person, words, experience or situation. You may actually do this by cutting them out of your life. As you point the finger at them away from self either in deflection or projection as you try to shame and blame. Because they are too close to revealing the truth. That will break open or shatter your image of self. That which you believe you must hold onto in order to make you ‘feel’ and ‘appear’ what you ‘think’ is ‘safe’. Something is shaking up your status quo and your mechanisms of defense don’t like it and will fight like hell to stop being exposed and to not feel the emotional pain. The defended belief system is a major block that keeps truth and subsequently peace, love and joy away.

Dig really deep to become aware of why you are defensive; look at yourself honestly, don’t be afraid to feel the pain. Pain is part of living. If and when you allow yourself to get into the feelings and the imprint that is being triggered, you will be able to more easily see why you became defensive and then release it. Why are you afraid of being judged? Why does it bother you so intensely? It wouldn’t bother you if you felt and were secure in self.

Understand that being defensive is usually because you are not feeling good enough, feeling flawed, unworthy or uncertain and someone has gotten dangerously close to revealing it. So you try to do everything in your power to defend self. But what you are actually doing is defending your right to stay stuck, blocked and cut off from self growth, truth and ultimately healing and happiness. The longer you stay in denial and defense, the longer you will stay blocked. The quicker you break through denial and defense, the faster you will feel free.

It takes bravery to break through defenses. This is why it’s so prevalent in our world today and why so many make statements such as: ‘Don’t judge me. You have no right to ‘judge’ me. Who are you to ‘judge’ me?’ Comments such as these are defense mechanisms on over drive and come from persons not integrated and at acceptance of self. People who react in this manner are living in insecurity, intellectual denial and emotional pain. Their defensiveness concerning the fear of being judged by others clearly reveals this. They may as well be screaming, ‘I am insecure, am weak, feel unworthy, am really not sure of what I believe or what I am saying or doing. So don’t put it in my face because I am too weak and frightened to look at it or myself.’ They will then deflect or project trying to point the finger outside of their self by shaming and blaming those who have triggered their deep seated issues and insecurity.

Blaming is actually a form of giving your power away. When you blame, it is saying or admitting ‘they’ have power over you concerning the way you react, feel and behave. Therefore, you are admitting that someone else is so powerful as to control your feelings, mood and even your very being. So how weak does that show you as being?

Some people will even defend the indefensible as in someone may commit an actual crime and their mother may say, “Oh, it was just his circumstances. He hung out with the wrong crowd.” 

Avoidance is another piece of defense and denial – as in avoiding whatever is brought up avoid the pain. You deny, block, bury, ignore or turn away from all warnings and signals. You avoid doing activities, being around people or expressing yourself because you fear that you will experience pain as recalled from past experiences.

 Avoidant personality disorder – Those affected display a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiorityextreme sensitivity to negative evaluation and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire to be close to others. Individuals with the disorder tend to describe themselves as uneasy, anxious, lonely, unwanted and isolated from others.

 Avoidance coping creates stress and anxiety and ravages self-confidence. It is a major factor that differentiates people who have common psychological problems – depression – anxiety and/or eating disorders vs. those who don’t. Simplistic example: You realize that you have gained some weight. Instead of addressing it and looking at your body naked in a full length mirror, you avoid mirrors and wear larger clothing to cover up and continue over-eating. When you realize you have gained even more weight, you become overwhelmed and depressed. You feel like you look bad, whether you actually do or not. It’s your perception and you feel hate for yourself – your body – your clothing and that hate of self bleeds out what you do and onto everyone you come into contact with, in some form or another. You avoid going to the gym until you lose weigh because you have a fear of being judged and humiliated. You avoid doing your usual activities and being around your friends. It’s about what you fear that leads to what you avoid rather than what is actual. Avoidance coping causes anxiety to snowball because when people use avoidance coping they typically end up experiencing more of the very thing they were trying to escape.

You are overly focused that the outcome of interactions and experiences will be negative. You are self-conscious, have fear of being judged and think everyone is seeing you as badly as you perceive yourself. Most people probably will not notice or care that you gained a few pounds. Most people are more concerned with self than someone else. This is an obvious example of ‘avoidance’ on a physical level. Avoidant personalities – blow things up in their minds thinking and worrying that if, in some context and time frame, they had a bad experience that they always will. They idealize relationships then devalue them, avoid making decisions and avoid life’s experiences in general.

 Reality is that everyone is judging everyone else in each day and every moment. We all make judgments. Judgments from others will not trigger you and you will not become defensive, if you are at awareness, acceptance and understanding of self. It will just cause you to self-reflect and self-reflection is how you grow into awareness. So being triggered can be a good thing, if looked at and used with awareness. What matters is how you look at yourself. It’s fine to be different and individual. It’s your insecurity about self that triggers defensiveness, denial, vulnerabilities and fear of being judged. Feeling the pain in self-reflection and awareness is the beginning to healing. Feel the pain and release it, so you can feel the joy!

Stop watering the weeds in your life and start watering the flowers.

Psychology and physiology of a smile…

ann-smile-5Smiling… not only lifts your spirits but  that of those around you. A smile uses muscles that stimulate us to feel better. When you smile you feel better, even when you are feeling down.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Our faces have muscles with the ability to animate our faces to smileface1express and to show how we feel, think and emote at any given time. Our feelings and emotions direct that animation of the muscles either naturally or they can be forced and faked. Take an actor for example: While acting they can use their body as an instrument to express feelings and emotions that will illicit feelings and emotions in those watching. We all have that ability in every moment and every day of our lives that will affect not only us but those around us.

???????????????????????????????I love to smile. I once had a surgery where my cheeks were swollen for a few weeks and I couldn’t smile. It was a horrible feeling not to be able to smile. It made me feel so down inside not to be able to smile. I so wanted to smile but couldn’t and my smile was distorted when I tried. I was amazed how not being able to smile affected my mood, my feelings and everything about me. Then when my face became less swollen, and I could smile a bit, I felt better.  When I could fully smile again, I felt great! Smiling affected my whole body, my mood, my spirit… everything about me.

A smile affects your physiology and that of those around you.

The Psychological Study of Smiling

ann-smile5That experience made me realize how wonderfully good smiling made me feel. It lifts me up and makes me feel so good inside.  Think of people with bad teeth that don’t smile and children with cleft palates who can’t smile… when these things are corrected and they are able to smile… their whole face lights up. Their mood changes along with that of everyone around them. A smile affects the energy in your eyes, in your body, in everything about you. Smiling affects health and well-being.

You can smile with your eyes, your lips and with your whole face. There are all kinds of smiles.  But a genuine smile lights  up your eyes, your whole face and affects your whole body along with the energy it carries and emits.

The muscles of expression located around the mouth are the depressor anguli oris, therisorius, the zygomaticus major, the zygomaticus minor, and the levator labii superioris (see above image, highlighted in blue). All of these muscles, specifically the zygomaticus muscles, are involved with smiling; they pull the orbicularis oris (the circular muscle of your mouth) upwards. These muscles are innervated by the various branches of the facial nerve (VII), which — when the muscles are activated — send signals to the brain that you are smiling.

From there, endorphins are released into the bloodstream from the pituitary gland and the brain and spinal cord from the hypothalamus. Endorphins are opiod (chemicals that bind to opiate receptors) peptides that act as neurotransmitters. Think of endorphins as the body’s natural painkillers, or opiates; they are released in times of stress (good and bad), exercise, excitement, pain, love, and other emotional states, and you feel awesome because of them

http://info.visiblebody.com/bid/216820/learn-the-science-behind-a-smile-visualized-with-visible-body

???????????????????????????????Smile more. Smile lots. Smile at others.  Smiling is contagious.  When you smile it lifts the energy. A smile creates openness… a channel for positive communication.

Smile at yourself in your mirror. Lift your spirits along with those around you.

waterhead2SMILE!

 

When this fully kicks in, will all hell break…

loose, or will we be living in hell?…. 

Will we be living in an America, where we have no choice, where human life is only worth what it produces for the government? Where when you are old and ill, the government has control over whether you get treatment or die and they can confiscate your property for their use?

What Nancy Pelosi didn’t want us to know until after the Healthcare bill was passed. Remember she said, “Pass it and then read it!!.”

Obama Care Highlighted by Page Number THE CARE BILL HB 3200JUDGE KITHIL IS THE 2ND OFFICIAL WHO HAS OUTLINED THESE PARTS OF THE CARE BILL.

The mostegregiouspages of HB3200 especially reference to pages 58 & 59JUDGE KITHIL wrote:

Page 50/section 152: The bill will provide insurance to
all non-U.S. residents
, even if they are here illegally.
  (Remember when Obama was called out as being a liar about this and the man was chastised for doing so, well he was telling the truth? Obama as usual was lying!)


Page 58 and 59:
The government will have real-time access to an individual’s bank account and will have the authority to make electronic fund transfers from those accounts.

Page 65/section 164: The plan will be subsidized (by the government) for all union members, union retirees and for community organizations (such as theAssociation of Community Organizations for Reform Now–  ACORN). 

At age 76, when you most need it, you are not eligible for cancer
treatment
see page 272

Page 203/line 14-15: The tax imposed under this section will not be treated as a tax. (How could anybody in their right mind come up with that?)


Page 241 and 253:
Doctors will all be paid the same regardless of specialty, and the government will set all doctors’ fees. (Socialized Healthcare)


Page 272. section 1145:
Cancer hospital will ration care  according to the patient’s age
 


Page 317 and 321:
The government will impose a prohibition on hospital expansion; however, communities may petition for an exception. 
 


Page 425, line 4-12:
The government mandates advance-care planning consultations. Those on Social Security will be required to attend an “end-of-life planning” seminar every five  years. (Death counseling – Death panels)


Page 429, line 13-25:
The government will specify which doctors can write an end-of-life order. (Death panels)


Judge Kithil then goes on to identify: “Finally,it is specifically stated that this bill will not apply to members of Congress. Members of Congress are already
exempt from the Social Security system, and have a well-funded private plan that covers their retirement needs. If they were on our Social Security plan, I believe they would find a very quick fix’ to make the plan financially sound for their future.”


If the government wouldn’t spend our funds on providing for Illegal immigrants and all ACORN members, they might be able to do a better job for those who actually deserve to have it spent on them.

But Obama and his ilk reward their friends and punish their enemies and the old people are their enemy, since they do not bring in as much in taxes for government use and most of them see through the con of the Obama regime.

The ‘government’ helps illegals, (but we aren’t supposed to call them ‘illegals’ any longer because they are Obama’s ‘friends’) so ‘they’ can get their votes forever, so ‘they’ can stay in office.  Plus, they will be a fresh and longer source of future tax revenue. Therefore, the government caters to them, at least, for now.

The government can raid citizens assets, when they get ill, as what they have saved, earned and worked for all their lives, become a piggy bank for government use. This so-called ‘Healthcare Bill’ is not about health, or life, it’s about government control of your life. It’s about taxes and confiscating resources from the real American citizens.

Once the older generations have passed on (the Obama Regime wants this to happen sooner rather than later) America as we know it, will cease to exist. It will become just another socialistic/communistic country full of people controlled in every aspect of their lives by the government regime.

This is exactly what our forefathers warned us about and why they set up government checks and balances to avoid and to curtail. But Obama and his ilk are ignoring our Constitution, our Bill of Rights and destroying everything that made America free… And America is the home of the ‘brave’ and the ‘free’.

This ‘Healthcare bill’ is not about health. It is about control, death and a power grab of the assets of private citizens…

ConstitutionSo thanks to Pelosi, Obama and their ilk, our Healthcare is being destroyed, are rights taken, choices gone, and our property seized.

I believe it fully kicks in 2014. It’s implementation of the NWO.

So will all hell break loose, or will we be living in a hell of the Obama regime and those who back it and pull its strings, making?

Sacred space…de-stress, laugh and have fun!

by Ann and Reanee
During the holiday season, the greatest gift to give yourself and others, is to take care of yourself. When you feel centered it flows out to everyone in your world.

That’s why Reanee and I decided to share some yoga poses, fun and wisdom from our years of collaborative experiences.

I drive towards MOVE STUDIO, in major holiday traffic, and call Reanee to inform. 

Ann: I’m on my way, but am so needing caffeine. Only, maybe not so good to have before yoga.
 
Reanee: Me too. Let’s be in the moment. We want it. Let’s have it. Let’s meet at Starbucks.

Caffeine drinks indulged. We begin de-stressing. 

Reanee: Restorative Yoga helps get me through the holidays. It centers me. Asanas = poses (Sanskrit is to yoga what French is to ballet) 

Legs up the WallViparita Karani – some yogi’s believe this pose may cure what ails you…also equal to great nap time and great for circulation of the legs. Butt against the wall, legs up, arms to the side. The goal is to stay in this pose for 20 minutes, breathing and relaxing. If your legs get tired… you may lower them, bottom of feet together.
   
Yoga teaches non-attachment to people, outcomes, things, etc. When you take the time to pull into your sacred space, whatever that may be  (and yoga is a wonderful choice), but for you it might be walking in the park, listening to music, etc. We each know and have those places, and if you don’t yet… give yoga at try.

Yoga stops the mental chatter, releases the need to worry about things out of your control, and refreshes and reconnects the body, mind and spirit.
The Child’s PoseBalasana – is Restorative – body at rest in stillness, helps with complete
relaxation. Twisting, whether seated of standing, Ardha Matsyendrasana – promotes massage of the internal organs (digestion) and wakes up the spine and ribs.

Warrior PoseVirabhadrasana – great for balance and strength.

Was it the caffeine? I’m not sure!? But things got a bit ‘playful’ towards the end…

Reanee is an accomplished and knowledgeable  yoga instructor. We have known one another for about 20 years and over these years have taken all sorts of and varying workouts in facilities all over the Dallas area.
 
Reanee teaches yoga at MOVE STUDIO and has a class this Saturday, November 27th, 10:10 – 11:20 … join her for the perfect complement to your holiday weekend.

RELAX! RESTORE! CENTER!
www.movestudio.com

Conflict

by Ann
Conflict seems to be instilled in human beings. Conflict arises when a perceived dominance or peace of mind is challenged.

 

We all want to believe that we are right, better than, correct, have a handle on things and when we don’t feel this or feel threatened, we enter into conflict.

 

Dominant personalities find it difficult to accept that they may be wrong, hence conflict. They may not be able to arrive at resolution as easy as others. They may turn their head, try to ignore it, or try to make the other person bad, shamed, or wrong, to avoid admitting conflict in themselves.

 

People are drawn to conflict. They like to take sides, protect and cheer for the underdog, or cheer and side with the winner. It’s just good old competition.

Take the arena of sports… the conflict is exhilarating to some. Others don’t like it as much. Some don’t like it at all. But it’s certainly been around, in some form, forever.

If there was no conflict, there would be no need for peacemakers.

 

Conflict helps us to define and sort out who we are. It is like a rock that breaks us, rocks us, splits us apart, to either mold, hide our heads, pushes us to growth, or pushes us away.

 

Conflict is a part of life. There is a reason and purpose for it. Accept, learn and grow from it, or deny, run from, or sneak around it, but it will always be there.

In your lifetime, you will be both a spectator of and involved in conflict many, many times over. It’s called being alive. The tension from conflict is what keeps our world moving.

 Wheels need tension to get down the road. Too smooth is not always all that good.

Have you ever thought about or or defined your conflict style? We all have one. Awareness of your style will help you to understand yourself and others. Admit it or not, you still have one. How about sharing it with us for the purpose of discussion?
 

FEAR! What’s your deepest fear?

By Ann
My fear is to go blind. And recently, I had an eye scare! It felt like I had something in one of my eyes, all the time. And I was seeing out of the corner of that eye a kind of a web like mess. It felt like a piece of my hair from my bangs was in my eye, but I would check and brush my hair back and the feeling was still there. I cleansed my eye, rinsed it out. Looked into it with a magnifying mirror and went without eye make-up. Then the feeling would come and go. I was beginning to FREAK OUT! My eye! My eyes! Not my eyes!

I told all my friends and asked their opinions. They all had suggestions and had experienced similar things. And they comforted me telling me that it was probably nothing…

BUT!  it wasn’t going away.  My eyes! My eyes! My fear is to go blind! I love to read, I love to write! Oh no, not my eyes!

I scheduled an eye exam with my doctor, hadn’t had an eye check up in about two years.

At the examination, I shared with Dr. Brooks, my fear of going blind. While examining me, she told me that her fear was flying.
I said well, imagine how you’d feel getting on an airplane because that is how I feel right now. My stomach hurts. I feel sick and calmy… I…

Dr. Brooks: I don’t get on an airplane anymore. I just won’t! I will check your eyes out thoroughly. Just relax.

Easy for her to say! 

After the examination and all the tests, the result is that I have a floater. It looks to Dr. Brooks like it’s detached which is good. Other than that my eyes are very healthy.

WHEW! Thank you GOD!!! I go back in a month for a follow up….

So, I have revealed my scary, deadly fear and Dr. Brooks revealed hers. What is yours? We all have them.

FEAR is not an enemy. It can be our friend. It warns us when we need to act, change directions, check something out, or maybe, just run away from something or someone. FEAR is a normal reaction and it’s instinctual.

If we act, address, confront, or figure it out, then the FEAR is released as the action, we take or information gleaned creates awareness to understanding.

Deny your FEARS and you deny a piece of yourself. Of course, it’s wise, not to let fear paralyze us, or to make us paranoid, or to make us sick from worry. Worry can be fear’s partner in crime.

Address your fear in every way possible then you are more able to release it. Admitting fears can be the first step to dissipating them.

So, what is your FEAR? Are you brave enough to admit it to yourself and to share it?